Life and the Force
by QuixoticQuest
Summary: SEQUEL TO WHEN IT BEGINS AGAIN. Old friends, new enemies. The past resurfaces with a long lost friend of Anakin's, but he's not the same person he used to be... who is he? A/T, J/TK, and OC/Wyn Fel. More pairings and OCs listed in intro. NOW COMPLETE.
1. Introduction and AN

_Hello All!_

_Premise: SEQUEL TO WHEN IT BEGINS AGAIN. Old friends, new enemies. The past resurfaces with a long lost friend of Anakin's, but he's not the same person he used to be... who is he? _

_For those of you who are new to this shindig, I'm QuixoticQuest, but you can call me "Don." I'm a Star Wars fan fiction writer (by now you've probably guessed that already since that's the category of this fanfic). _

_So! This is the sequel to my other story that's titled "When it Begins Again," and the third and final part of the Namesake series. I'm excited to get started and I hope you all are too. _

_**WARNING: I also feel it's only fair to warn everyone reading this that once again I rated this story M for violence (which is going to be intense in this story maybe even more so than the last), for the language, for mature content, and for the extreme amounts of angst I seem to like to put in my stories. **_

**_Also if you're against character deaths (which we've already experienced to some extent in "When it Begins Again" so I'm guessing you already know this upon deciding to read this story) but just in case I'm giving extra warning that there will be some character deaths in this story (for the sake of preventing story spoilers I'm not saying who, when, and how) but I promise a good time and an adventurous tale! _**

Oh, yeah, I'm in the middle of reading "Allegiance" by Timothy "awesome" Zahn. So I'm getting the feeling that some Mara Jade action is in order, ya? I think so. ^_^ She's a mother but she's still got so kick-ass moves (understatement even). For those of you thinking "Mara gets no time in these stories" I'm planning on doing my research so I can get her some more action time.

_**Here's a recap of the previous characters from "When it Begins Again,":** _

_*= My own invented character- not from the original New Jedi Order Series_

_#= Missing or unknown status in the story_

_Han Solo_

_Leia Organa Solo_

_Anakin Solo_

_Jacen Solo_

_Tahiri Veila_

_Jaina Solo_

_Tenel Ka Djo_

_Valin J.D. Solo *_

_Kashaa*_

_Lowie_

_Zekk #_

_Baron Soontir Fel_

_Colonel Jagged Fel_

_Corran Horn _

_Luke Skywalker_

_Mara Jade Skywalker_

_Doctor Norman Hartwell* _

_Kyle Skywalker (Infant)*_

_Valin J.D. Solo (Infant)* _

_Xillanor *_

_James*_

_Edo*_

_Kirk Dekim*_

_Synthor* _

_I think that's about it for the main characters. I'll be bringing in a character from another book series, so I'm disclaiming that too. But I don't want to spoil anything so I'm not saying what series it is (still SW though)._

_The first chapter will be up later because of my college work (bleah) so keep checking to see when it's updated! _

_Oh, and feel free to send me messages (I'll respond as often as I can)._

_Have a Fabulous Day!_

_-Don ^_^_


	2. A Place in the Force

Chapter 1

A Place in the Force

There is a saying that goes "The road to recovery is long," and that phrase rung true for the entire galaxy following the surrender of the Yuuzhan Vong forces. Luke in particular had to take the phrase to heart as he visited his home planet to help organize the repairs. It was also a sordid visit because of the other two people he'd traveled with in the shuttle.

Luke cast his blue eyes over at his nephew and the blonde haired girl, together slowly making their way across the desert to visit the graves of the young girl's deceased tribe. Luke knew what it was like to go away and return only to find your family has been murdered. The helplessness was unbearable and Luke knew that Tahiri was many years younger than he was when Luke lost his aunt and uncle, only to find out a short time later that his father was Darth Vader. Sometimes, although rarely, Luke attributed this cruelty to fate, though he didn't much believe in it.

It had been a month since the birth of Luke's second son, Kyle, and then a week ago the birth of Tenel Ka and Jacen's son, Valin J.D. Solo, who was an abnormally quiet child, unlike Kyle who wailed in the most potent ways possible, which often involved throwing food across the room with the little force power he had now. Of course the recipient was often Luke himself as Mara had told Luke she wouldn't let him get out of his fatherly duties even to repair the galaxy.

_What a job, eh? _Luke had thought to Kyle. The baby had only moaned softly in response. Luke smiled as he thought of the baby's slow but steady progression. Luke could already tell Kyle was strong in the force since the baby could manipulate objects with his mind, although they rarely did anything progressive, it was something Luke had to be proud of.

Valin was another story. Since Valin was barely a week old, it was hard to tell how his growth in the force was. Despite this, Valin's quiet demeanor spoke less than his extreme fits of laughter when Jacen cracked a joke. Luke wasn't sure if it was the jokes, or the faces Jacen made when he told them.

Jacen was a worry for Luke. His nephew seemed fine most of the time, but since Luke couldn't get a read on the boy through the force, it was difficult to know if anything was bothering Jacen, and Luke had the feeling there was more going on under the surface than Jacen seemed to let on. Jacen seemed distant of late, and constantly sought solitude when he wasn't helping Tenel Ka with Valin. Even with Tenel Ka Jacen was keeping their relationship at arm's length. Luke wondered if it had anything to do with Jacen's brief involvement with Claus Neros. It didn't seem likely, but Jacen could have been influenced even if for a short time, with Claus' twisted way of thinking. The man could be both cold and calculating in addition to being sympathetic to anyone who had the force at their disposal and didn't know what to do with it.

That was what made Luke wonder if Claus knew something about Jacen's loss of the force, that Luke himself didn't. The idea, of course, was worrisome. When someone as distrustful as Claus wielded the power of knowledge, it was a frightening prospect. Just what had Claus said to Jacen, if anything had been said between that at all?

"Master Skywalker, the builders are ready to talk." A burly man said. Luke recognized him as one of the owners of the Mos Eisley Cantina which was in great need of repairs after the Yuuzhan Vong turned it into a coral barracks of sorts. The man made a face at the coral decking the walls of his cantina.

"You'd think they'd have the sense to just use somewhere else. They trashed the place, all the drinks, everything was ransacked. The nerve," The man said, then muttered curses to himself while Luke examined the area with the force then with his eyes. Experience had taught Luke to feel with the force before looking with his eyes. It had won the battle of the first death star and done many other favors to Luke. Since that time, Luke hadn't questioned the words of his first teacher, Obi-Wan telling Luke to trust in the force because his eyes made him blind. Luke missed Obi-Wan now. It was a tough time and the force had been silent of his old Master's voice for a long time.

"Master Skywalker?" The man said with his raspy voice cutting into Luke's reverie.

"Yes, I'm coming." Luke said then turned to follow the man to where the construction workers hired by the New Republic were gathered to help repair the damage done to Mos Eisley.

Anakin stood next to Tahiri as she laid flowers on the grave of Sliven. His blue eyes scanned the site where nearly a year ago they'd both buried Tahiri's tribe and family. They had now erected a memorial plate for all the members of the tribe, on each stone Tahiri carved the names of her tribe. Then finally she had a general stone that stood above the others that said the name of Tahiri's tribe and all the members buried in the area. No one would come to visit, not even the other tribes, once one tribe had died out, and the others would go on living as though that tribe never existed. Anakin knew that Tahiri would never forget. She couldn't. No more than Anakin could forget that Chewie was dead and wouldn't ever come back, even if Anakin tried. He'd lost his chance in the void, though Anakin could never bring himself to tell his father that.

Tahiri's soft voice uttered a prayer in the Sand Tribe language and Anakin could only listen to the faint words as they carried a gentle tune that whispered like the waves of the sand dunes passing through the air as their tops were blown into the wind. Anakin looked into the sky and noticed how clear the sky was now that no Yuuzhan Vong ships flew in them. It was both relieving and lonely. Their absence left the holes in the galaxy where many lives used to be. Anakin's hand gripped his gray cotton shirt as his whole body tensed.

There was no comfort for that which was gone. When the galaxy rebuilt itself, those lives would never be restored and their presences would be missed. Anakin felt that way about all the lives lost since he still had a connection to the void. Every life that had passed through, he felt them being ripped from the force like their presences were directly connected to his own.

Tahiri stood up and turned to look at Anakin. He dropped his hand from the vise like grip he'd had on his shirt as he noticed how red Tahiri's face was. She'd been hiding her face so he hadn't noticed that the entire time she'd been whispering the prayer, she'd been crying too. Anakin's arms reached out of their own accord and he enveloped her in a tight hug, resting his head gently against her hair.

Her mind was muddled by the roiling emotions she felt. The warmth from Anakin's body was slipping in and out of her consciousness. Tahiri wasn't sure what to make of the sharp pangs in her heart. Of all the things she knew she felt, she knew there was emptiness. Even with Anakin standing there, his arms around her, she knew he couldn't fill the void left by Sliven. That was what hurt her the most. Anakin couldn't replace the father Sliven had been, that wasn't how their relationship worked, Anakin loved her, but not like Sliven had. Tahiri wasn't even sure how to look at Kam and Tionne now.

"I can't be your parent, Tahiri," Anakin said slowly, without even bothering to note that he'd overheard her thoughts, "But I'll be here every minute and my parents will too. You don't have to worry about making me understand that I can't replace Sliven. I couldn't ever replace him and I wouldn't try." He continued to hold her and Tahiri nodded, and sent a silent thank you through the force.

Tahiri pushed Anakin back after a minute, and he got a better look at how tired she really looked. Both of them seemed tired, and even that was an understatement. Anakin wasn't going to start back until Tahiri was ready to go. He would wait all day if that was what it took. Tahiri then rubbed the tears from her face onto her sleeve then started down from the high dunes where the burial was. As they went down, Anakin looked back up one last time, and he took in the towering cliffs as they sent their jagged bodies towards the sky in hopes of touching one last semblance of cool air. Tahiri wouldn't look back. That was how she was, so Anakin got the last look for the both of them. Then he turned away from the graves, feeling the same plummeting sensation in his stomach he'd had when Chewie had died. But like Tahiri, Anakin knew he couldn't keep dwelling on it for long. He had a responsibility now that no one, not even the Jedi council was going to take away from him. Whatever the cost, it was worth it as long as the only was paying was Anakin.

When they reached the bottom of the dune, the darkness of the desert had fallen and the chilly air was beginning to seep under Anakin's thin layering. He noticed again that Tahiri's natural adaption to the desert kept her from being cold. He would never get how she didn't think the air was freezing right now.

"There're two shuttles, I'm staying overnight but if you two want to go back to Coruscant, you can." Luke said as Anakin and Tahiri approached. Once again Anakin turned to Tahiri to answer for them. It was her choice.

"We'll go back." Tahiri said immediately, taking Anakin by surprise but Luke's expression remained calm as always.

"I'll see you in a few days then." Luke said with a small smile. Even Luke's good natured attitude seemed to wane with all the stress that the repairing of the galaxy seemed to be taking on him. This didn't go unnoticed by Anakin as he made his way to the other shuttle his uncle had indicated.

Anakin then stopped, "One thing first." Tahiri might have been completely surprised if he hadn't sent her a message through the force as to what he was talking about. She nodded. They informed the driver before starting down the streets of Mos Eisley until a voice caught them both by surprise.

"Anakin?" An elderly man who had short gray hair and a thin build hobbled over to where Anakin and Tahiri were walking.

Anakin narrowed his eyes at the man, "I'm Anakin. Who are you?"

"Ah," the man said suddenly, shaking his head, "You look just like an old friend of mine, when he was younger of course."

Anakin's mind then clicked. He had already found the person he'd intended to find. "You're talking about Anakin Skywalker." Anakin breathed. Tahiri looked from Anakin to the older man.

"You know Anakin Skywalker?" The man asked. Anakin noted that the man was using present tense, and Anakin thought, _did he not know what had happened to Anakin Skywalker? _

"No, but I know of him. He was my grandfather."

"Was?" The man asked, his face falling. He sighed. "So many of my friends have passed on, but I thought of all people Anakin would at least still be alive. He was a Jedi after all." The pride was evident in the man's voice as he spoke of Anakin Skywalker. "He came by once after a long time had passed and that was the last I heard or saw of him."

"Anakin, is this-?" Tahiri started, and Anakin nodded. The man stared blankly at Anakin.

"Your name is Anakin?"

"I was named after my grandfather." Anakin replied, his voice slightly more tense at the mention of his namesake. Anakin, though he'd gotten over the initial fear of his heritage, was still wary of it.

"I see, so Anakin had children." The man sighed with a small smile, "Times have changed. Jedi can have children and fall in love." He looked carefully from Tahiri to Anakin then fixated his eyes on Anakin as Tahiri and Anakin exchanged glances. The man had guessed they were together even though they'd never met. It made Anakin wonder if this man had some Jedi abilities as well. Some people had some force sensitivity but it was so small that if you weren't a Jedi, it would never have been discovered.

"Do you two have somewhere to stay? I have a lot of questions for you, Anakin. Both of you for that matter, there is apparently much information that never reached Tatooine in all these years." The man then slapped his forehead, "I'm sorry, I should have introduced myself. My name is Kitster."

Much to Jaina's surprise, soon after both hers and Jag's release from the infirmary, she'd been invited to a formal celebration for Jag's promotion in the Chiss military to Major General. She could only guess how she ended up on the invitation list, and her suspicions were directed mainly at Jag.

The celebration wasn't due to begin until much later because of the repairs going on around the galaxy, and a celebration was deemed inappropriate while many funerals were being held for Chiss soldiers who had died. Jaina herself hadn't thought she'd go if it had been right after the armistice had been agreed upon.

Now that the party was imminent, she found that finding the right outfit was aggravating because she could care less about wearing anything but she wasn't about to embarrass herself by not wearing something at least up to par. So she chose her nicest silk looking brown pants and shirt that combined looked like a gown but only someone looking closely would notice.

Upon arriving at the party, Jaina noticed that everyone who was in the military was in full military dress uniform complete with sword in their belts, hats, and many were heavily decorated. Jaina found it funny that even in such a celebratory surrounding all the dark uniformed men and women of the Chiss race were all grim faced. Happy probably wasn't even in the Chiss vocabulary.

"I was wondering if you would show up in your coveralls." A voice said, Jaina turned and her lips curled into a smug smile.

"You look like you stepped out of a costume shop." Jaina replied. Jag certainly did look like he'd overdressed to some extent. His cap was glossy as though it had never been used and the decorations he now had covered his chest almost to the point that he had little room in the front of his uniform left. His cap was tucked under his arm and his gloved hand gripped the hilt of his sword tightly. His smooth straight black hair was combed but still fell messily to the side.

"I am dressed appropriately." Jag retorted. He scanned her. "Though I see you decided to wear pants." Jaina's insides tightened. _Jag would be the one to notice, wouldn't he?_ She thought wryly to herself.

"If you're going to be obnoxious, I'm going over there." Jaina said frostily, as she pivoted none too carefully, as she didn't really like to be graceful anyways, and started away.

"Jaina, I don't mean to affront you." Jag said. She whirled around to face him, noting the occasional glances the other guests cast in her direction.

"Oh? Then why do you always manage to do exactly that?" Jaina asked stiffly. Jag paused for a moment.

"Honestly, I do not know." He replied. Jaina felt through the force that he was being honest. A possible first for the cold hearted Chiss man.

"Well, let me know when you figure that out." Jaina said coolly then began to walk away again. Jag's voice cut across her intended exit of his presence and possibly the entire party.

"Will you dance?" He asked. Jaina's brown eyes went over him several times before finally resting on his face. It was incomprehensible.

"What?" She said, frowning slightly.

"Must everything be such a sordid affair with you? I'm asking if you want to dance, it's a simple question." Jag said, almost smiling at this point. Jaina continued to look bewildered then she scowled at him.

"Fine," She replied curtly, and as per the tradition watched in surprise as Jag gave a stiff bow and she returned it with a leg out to do a half curtsey mostly but not enough for it to annoy the tom-boyish side of Jaina Solo. As they danced in the midst of the other guests, Jaina noticed that despite Jag's role as the one being honored, not everyone noticed where Jag actually was. She could feel everyone's attention being on their own conversations and interests. Jaina wondered if this was another thing common to Chiss, was their lack of interest in other people or alien races' affairs.

"Just so you know, this doesn't change anything," Jaina pointed out to Jag as he seemed to begin to relax as more classical music played in the background.

"I wasn't expecting it to." Jag replied, his voice almost a normal tone, free of its usual formality and stiffness.

This seemed to stump Jaina. "So what were you expecting?" Her emphasis lay on the word, 'were' as she riddled his face with her stern gaze.

"I'm not sure if you've heard the term, but I'm having _fun_." Jag's grin wasn't nearly surprising as the bright gleam coming from his green eyes. Jaina couldn't help but let her jaw slide open a little before closing it firmly.

"Very funny, you and fun don't belong in the same sentence." Jaina replied.

"You must have already noticed that I hardly have a sense of humor, Jaina." Jag replied, his voice becoming its usual flat self.

"Yeah, but you still manage to sound like an insensitive git." Jaina pointed out with a smirk.

"Point taken," Jag replied stiffly, but he managed another smile before twirling Jaina to the next beat of the music. Then he bowed again and stepped off to the side. Jaina followed him until he reached the front of the room. Baron Soontir Fel began to talk about his son's accomplishments then about the decision by the military to promote Jag based on his heroics in the final battle. Then the announcement that Jag would be taking over a military command in Chiss space gave Jaina a little bout of surprise but only slightly. She knew he'd have to go back to his home eventually and she'd have to go back to Coruscant. That was that. Not like she wanted him to stick around, it just gave her something to think about besides Zekk's absence.

The thought stung her harder than she thought it would. She hadn't really had the time to mull over his death because of the recent battles and events. Now that she had nothing but time, she only had small distractions to keep him from coming into her mind. Zekk was there. Always popping into her head with his cocky smile and wild hair when she least wanted him there.

Jaina decided it was time to back out of the party. She was no longer in the mood to play the part of the New Republic Jedi and go back to being her usual casual self. Jaina slipped out the back and went into the hall, walking quickly down the hall. She could hear the clapping receding from the ballroom behind her. Her face hurt from choking back all the emotions she'd been keeping bottled up and she went into the ladies room for a second to rub her face with water before turning to walk straight into Jag.

"I was wondering where you went. I didn't think we threw such a bad party." Jag said, obviously joking but his tone retained its stiffness. The joke passed over Jaina who was too busy processing why Jag was in the ladies room and why he'd left his own party to find her.

"Why do you care?"

"Is it so hard to believe that I'm actually concerned?" Jag asked as his voice grew sharp but then softened a little at the end.

"I don't see why you would. It's my business that I don't want to stick around any longer than I have to." Jaina said then moved to leave but Jag stood his ground.

"I have every right to know why your face was scrunched so much you looked like a pig when my father was talking." Jag folded his arms across his chest. She noticed now that he'd ditched his sword and cap. He must have left it in the ballroom. "Was it something he said?"

"It's got nothing to do with you or your family, Fel." Jaina answered crossly, then used the force to move Jag aside then grabbed the knob. He moved so he was in front of her again.

"It's got everything to do with us! You're a guest here, and if you're leaving abruptly, we have a right to know why."

"I have personal business to attend to. I think that should be sufficient." Jaina supplied then turned the knob. He continued to block the door from opening.

"Not good enough." He said briskly, "I want to know why you were about to cry when my father was speaking and don't just brush it off as nothing because I know you're lying if you do."

"You want to know why?" Jaina snapped back. He frowned, his face growing curious at her sudden change in tone.

"Yes."

"I'm so torn apart inside I'm not even sure how I feel anymore. Satisfied?" She asked, his body slumped and moved out of the way. His sudden surrender made Jaina look at him directly.

"I'm sorry. It was none of my business to force you to tell me." Jag said and then opened the door to leave. Jaina was stumped. She wasn't sure what to make of his sudden expression of sullenness. It was unlike the brisk and task driven Jag Fel that she'd met in the squadron. She wasn't sure if this was a change or just a side of Jag she'd never seen before. In any case, it was both unnerving and almost endearing in a strange way.

"No, it's okay." Jaina said with a small sigh. "I kind of needed to get that off my chest." She then turned the knob and the two of them stood awkwardly in the hallway.

"Are you going back to Coruscant?" Jag asked. Jaina shrugged.

"I've got nowhere else to be and besides, Uncle Luke needs my help repairing things." Jaina nodded to Jag then walked down the hallway at a slow leisurely pace.

"Jaina," Jag's voice said just audible enough for only Jaina to hear. She turned her head to look at him.

"I'm," He hesitated, "I'm happy you came to the party. I hope you won't find it this unpleasant next time."

Jaina considered the words for a moment. Then she nodded, "I'm not that unhappy, and I had a better time than you think." She flashed a Solo grin then exited the gaudily decorated hallways. Jag stood there watching Jaina leave before returning to the party.

Jacen leaned over the railing of the apartment he now lived in with Tenel Ka and Valin. It wasn't overly fancy but it was nice enough that they didn't feel uncomfortable there. Jacen wasn't paying too much attention when they chose the apartment. He'd been preoccupied with the constant feeling of apprehension that had been building since he'd returned to Coruscant, maybe even before then. His fears had begun when he'd narrowly scraped by after Mykyr then when his memories vanished he realized soon after they return how little he truly wanted to remember his anxieties. Even with the war over, his fears remained prominent.

The happiness he should have felt when he married Tenel Ka, was overshadowed by his dark visions that had begun to happen in his dreams recently. Since then, Jacen hadn't slept much at night or at all for that matter. Something seemed off in the air, and without the force, Jacen had no way of finding out what it was.

"Jacen?" He looked around to see Tenel Ka standing behind him. "Valin is already asleep, are you coming in?"

"I'm going to stay out here a little longer, Tenel Ka." Jacen smiled at her, but she obviously noticed that he wasn't feeling his best because she came over to join him at the railing.

"You can tell me if you are unhappy you know. I will not take offense." Tenel Ka said plainly, her granite eyes glowing.

"I'm not unhappy, Tenel Ka. Just…" He searched for the words to explain how confused and apprehensive he felt. It was like the very idea of being at a time of relative peace as far as the galaxy could be at peace, was the most restless thing for Jacen. "Scared."

Tenel Ka's eyes went wide then narrowed. "Of what?"

He shrugged, "That's just it, I don't know what I'm afraid of, all I know is that I'm afraid." For a few minutes Tenel Ka paused while she thought over what Jacen had just told her. Then she gripped the railing and leaned forward to gaze at the city below. The repairs were still underway and still the skyline remained as pretty as before the war started.

"It is normal to be afraid, Jacen. Even the best warriors fear what they don't understand or don't know what is to come."

"Fear of the unknown?" Jacen said, smiling again. He looked at the sky, its richest hues of blue and purple were present tonight. "I kind of wish I didn't know I was afraid."

"That would be foolish. Fear is what tells us something is wrong. Then we can work with the fear to solve the problem." Tenel Ka answered firmly. "You are, and will always be a Jedi, Jacen. But even as a Jedi, you cannot conquer every fear before you know what it is."

He turned his head to face her with brandy eyes that seemed almost sad. If his visions were anything close to the truth, the force would make himself and Tenel Ka bite back on any statements of fearlessness or bravery.

**A/N- Chapter 1 fin- please read and review! Thanks! ^-^ **


	3. Diversionary Tactics

**Chapter 2**

**Diversionary Tactics**

_A/N- Sorry for the delay in posting, I had a really busy time with homework and there may be a gap for the next posting as well. But please enjoy this in the meantime!!_

_-Don ^_^_

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"Anakin."

"Mmmgh."

"Anakin!"

Anakin suddenly found himself being thrown unceremoniously to the floor by an invisible force. Then he started accusatorily up at his blonde haired and sharp green eyed girlfriend who had just used the force to throw him out of bed. He grunted irritably then used the force to envelop Tahiri with the blanket before pushing past her to the bathroom.

They had decided to accept Kitster's invitation to stay the night, in exchange for Anakin telling Kitster everything he knew about his grandfather. The night before however, Anakin hadn't wanted to say much as his mind kept diverting back to other things to avoid thinking about his grandfather. It seemed strange that he'd agreed in the first place since the whole idea of talking for an entire day about his grandfather was the last thing Anakin ever wanted to do.

"Something you want to share with me, Anakin?" Tahiri asked, tossing the blanket onto the bed and then following Anakin into the bathroom as he brushed his teeth. His brown hair now fell a little beyond his ears since he hadn't bothered to cut it in the time he'd spent trying to end the war. In addition to that his face had gained much hair across it, giving Anakin a slightly older look. He'd asked Kitster for a razor and grudgingly decided to shave the hair off and cut his hair back to its original length. As he did so, Tahiri continued to watch him with an expression mixed with concern as well as annoyance at his silence. Even for the morning, it wasn't normal for him to be this quiet.

He dipped the razor in the water and then ran it along the skin covering his jawbone, then he stopped and winced as it began to bleed. He'd forgotten how sensitive his skin was after the Yuuzhan Vong had hit him in the side of the face. Anakin's face still had a scar that the doctors said wouldn't fade, it would shrink a little, but it would never fade. He touched his scar, and twitched as he felt a hand on his arm.

"Hey, I've got them all over my face." She pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him. He couldn't help but smile a little. She always knew what was on his mind, and right now she could tell he wasn't thinking about the scar at all.

"You don't miss much." He said observantly as she handed him a gauze from the cabinet to stem the blood coming from his chin.

"If I did, you'd look really dumb."

"Give me some credit, Tahiri, I'm not _that _stupid." He frowned at her and folded his arms across his chest. She placed the bandage over the cut, and then threw away the gauze hanging limply in Anakin's grip.

Tahiri sighed, "Dummy is what dummy does."

"You're going to regret saying that." Anakin gave her a warning grin. She shrugged it off and started out of the bathroom before Anakin had her in a strong gripped hug, then they both tussled until they were out of the bathroom, Tahiri with her strength as a formed Sand Person, managed to push Anakin backwards into the bathroom. Then he retaliated by playfully using the force to shove her a little off balance then tickled her into submission. She tripped and fell, taking Anakin down with her. They lay with Anakin kneeling over her, Tahiri brushed a hair from Anakin's face. He blushed fervently, only now realizing where they were.

Before they both knew what had happened, the door opened and Kitster was standing in the doorway. Anakin scrambled upwards, and Tahiri shifted to the other side of the room.

Kitster apparently seemed more amused by this than either Tahiri or Anakin were because he smiled to himself as the two teens stood awkwardly apart from each other. Kitster knew better than to question what they were doing, he wasn't their parent and he'd already witnessed two people not unlike the two in front of him now. He grinned at Anakin then Tahiri.

"How about some breakfast?" Kitster said, then left the room to a resounding silence. Tahiri glanced at Anakin, lost for words about what had just happened. He simply came over and kissed her forehead.

"Don't worry about it. We don't have to say anything if you don't want to." He started forward and nearly tripped as Tahiri caught his arm in an iron grip.

"I'm not worried about that." She said.

"Again, you really confuse me with the fact that the idea of sex doesn't scare you."

"And I'm confused that you, Anakin Solo, the great slayer of Yuuzhan Vong, doesn't want to talk about sex with his girlfriend."

"Hey, that was a low blow."

"It's true, though, right? You don't want to talk about it." She challenged him with her eyes. He ran a nervous hand through his hair.

"I-" He faltered and that was all it took for Tahiri to nod at him and then leave the room.

_Force! Why didn't I say something just now? What's wrong with you, Anakin? _He bit his lip. Did he really not love Tahiri enough to want to return her feelings physically? Or was it something else? Something about the whole conversation seemed awfully familiar and Anakin had no idea why.

"Anakin? Ah, you're still here. Why don't you come eat something for breakfast?" Kitster asked. Anakin shook his head.

"I'm okay." He then went to pick up his clothes that he'd thrown off the night before in a hurry to get the sleep he'd been missing out on for the past few months. Kitster watched this with a solemn expression.

"Come with me." He said, and Anakin looked up as the man left the room. To Anakin's own surprise, he followed the man out. After walking down the hallway for a while, Kitster stopped at a door and opened it, pulling a chain above both their heads. When the florescent light flickered on, Anakin saw a pile of machinery piled to the ceiling in the supply closet that went far back into the downstairs basement.

"Go ahead and take a look." Kitster said. Anakin started down, his curiosity peaked. He'd never seen such old technology. It was all from the days of the old republic, and old pod-racer sat in the corner, gathering dust.

"That was your grandfather's." Kitster said, as Anakin looked the pod over. He ran his fingers over the round surface and could feel through the force the hum of the machinery while it was at rest.

"Of course Anakin Skywalker had to give all this up when he left to become a Jedi."

Anakin turned to see Kitster looking sadly at the gadgets and machinery around the room. With a small cough to get rid of the dust gathering in his throat, Anakin went over to the object that had caught his attention early on. It was a lightsaber, and not just any lightsaber, it was an ancient one.

"Was this my grandfather's too?"

"No. Not the original one. He took that with him," Kitster replied, "But this was a lightsaber he constructed when he stayed here for a brief amount of time. With Padme."

"Padme?" Anakin questioned.

"You never knew who your grandmother was?" Kitster questioned almost incredulously.

"No, my mother never found out who her mother was. My uncle, Luke Skywalker gave up trying to find out a long time ago, he'd lost many of the leads over time." Anakin said his voice faint now that he knew something about his grandfather that made him seem more human.

"Padme Amidala, the Queen of the Naboo, she captured Anakin's eyes the first time she arrived here and from that day on they were given a gift and a curse to be together." Kitster sat down on a chair against the wall. "They spent a lot of time here when they visited. But only once did Anakin dare look at these," Kitster gestured to the pod-racer and the other mechanics around them. "Since his mother was killed. He didn't want to look back. It hurt him to even think about the life he had before he left Tatooine. Anakin did tell me that much before he left. He wasn't always the most straight forward of people. But he was loving and caring. He loved Padme and that's why it was hard for them, they argued much you did with Tahiri."

Anakin stared blankly at Kitster then cast his gaze downwards. "What would Anakin Skywalker have in common with me?"

"A lot, actually. He was a good craftsman," Kitster picked up the lightsaber and turned it on, the blade thrummed to life, its purple-red blade color shimmering in the dimly lit basement.

"Your lightsaber is the same color. Purple. The lightsaber reflects the emotions of its wielder." Kitster turned off the blade then handed it to Anakin. "I saw you turning it on and off last night. It's a lonely sound to hear in the darkness. I haven't forgotten the sound of Anakin's lightsaber when he turned it on. Once he did, it was rarely off again. He truly believed in going through with every task until it was finished."

"I can't take this." Anakin said firmly, holding the blade out for Kitster to take back.

"You should try to accept more of your heritage, Anakin. Your grandfather was not unlike you in the best of ways as well." Kitster smiled, and turned the lightsaber over to reveal the markings on the hilt. Anakin leaned in to read it.

In tiny scrawled letters were the words: Padme, happy anniversary.

"He never gave it to her." Anakin breathed, and sat down in another chair, now understanding through the force what Kitster was thinking.

"No, he didn't. As their paths would have it, Anakin had to leave the lightsaber here with me for the next time they came by because Anakin's life was so hectic, he couldn't find the right time to give her the lightsaber that he had made just for Padme. So he left it here. But our paths never crossed again and the last I'd heard was that Anakin Skywalker had died in a battle."

Anakin's grip on the lightsaber tightened, as he got up from the chair, and started out of the basement. "He did die," Anakin said as he mounted the steps, "Anakin Skywalker died the night he tried to murder Padme." The basement door then slammed behind him.

Jacen could not sit through yet another formal discussion with the other heads of the council of Hapes. They were holding the meetings on Coruscant while Hapes itself was being repaired by the Republic's volunteers as well as the Hapan architects who were designing the new planet's cityscape under Tenel Ka's directions.

"Yes, but we are not conducting the council in that way any more." Tenel Ka was explaining.

"Your Majesty, with all due respect, this is not the tradition-" He gestured at Jacen, "This man is not fit to be the King of Hapes."

Jacen's patience then snapped, "Look, I'm not the holiest of guys, okay? But I'm better than a guy who ran while his planet was being smashed to bits." Jacen's sharp retort shut the council member up. Tenel Ka shot Jacen a look halfway between surprise and amusement. He shrugged at her and fixed a Solo grin on his face. She smiled back before rounding on the council.

"Jacen is the one I am married to and the one I have an heir with. The new Hapan royal family will be one that is part Jedi and part Hapan, and we will make no distinctions of the worthy and unworthy." She said fiercely. The council members exchanged glances, and then caved in under the dual glares of both Jacen and Tenel Ka.

"Very well, we accept the terms."

"You may go." Tenel Ka nodded to them, and then they turned to bow to her, and with a sharp glare from Tenel Ka they bowed to Jacen too.

"Majesties," The council members each said as they exited. A much younger council member stopped and looked directly at Jacen.

"King Jacen, I would like to say, I think your spunk is something the royal family has been missing for a long time." The young boy, who couldn't have been much older than fourteen, a newly elected member who was probably the heir to a wealthy family, his neatly combed dirty blonde hair and thin shoulders stood out amongst the other members who were all dressed in stiff garb while the boy had on a casual tunic and a semi-nice vest. Jacen smiled and thanked the boy before he ran off.

"I'm happy not all the council members are such arses." Jacen said with a groan. Tenel Ka raised an eyebrow at him.

"I do not understand, they resemble nothing like a donkey, Jacen."

"It was non-literal comparison, Tenel Ka." Jacen said with a laugh, and then his face grew serious. Tenel Ka frowned at this.

"What's wrong, Jacen?" She asked. He shook his head.

"I just got this bad feeling in the back of my mind," Jacen then felt strong pangs of pain from his head. The images that had been appearing in his dreams were now clearly planted in his mind during the day and caused him immense headaches just to try to repress them. Slowly he could feel the force returning but without it he was beginning to notice things happening around him, like the dreams and the health of the people around him that made his hair stand on end. Without the force, his natural awareness was heightened. He almost could claim that the force had been stripped from him in order to start to see the problems in his visions start to develop before his very eyes. Jacen pressed his palm to his head, and then remembered that Tenel Ka was standing next to him.

"It's nothing, Tenel Ka, really." He said. She shook her head stubbornly.

"I have known you a long time, Jacen, with you it is never 'nothing,'" She then pulled him up and they walked outside into the hallway, then began to walk through to the garden outside of the hotel they were holding the council meetings in. Tenel Ka walked slowly and continued to hold Jacen's hand until they reached the center of the garden. Then Tenel Ka gestured to the fountain.

"What?" He looked at her quizzically. She then used the force to hurl the water at Jacen, who stared blankly at her.

"Did you just do what I think you did?" He asked. She arched her eyebrows.

"I do not know what you are talking about."

"Uh, huh," Jacen said, his voice now conspiratorial. He then jumped over into the fountain and with his arms hurled the water at Tenel Ka. She ducked and used the force to throw it back at him. It was only a second later that Jacen found that he wasn't throwing water with his hands but it was leaping from the fountain of its own accord. He'd just used the force. Now that he was feeling it through him he noticed something he hadn't before.

He gazed at Tenel Ka. She had a bright smile on her face, but she hadn't felt what he had. Something that filled him with the same empty helplessness he'd had when he was on Kashyyk without the force, only now he had it and knew that even with it he couldn't fight the enemy he felt through the force now.

His grimace was internal and he masked it with the constant barrage of water he threw Tenel Ka's direction. Then the shouts of the hotel manager and his attendants as they yelled about destruction of hotel public property then they promptly told Tenel Ka and Jacen that they were never allowed to enter the hotel ever again.

Jacen ran a towel over his head in their apartment as he stood in their bedroom. He glanced over at Tenel Ka as she tucked Valin in for the night. His brown hair was still plastered against his head and his body was chilly from being wet for so long. Though that was nothing compared to the constant reminder of the vision that flashed through his mind each time Jacen looked at Tenel Ka or even stood near her.

Jacen walked over and leaned in to kiss Valin on his small head. The boy squirmed with a small moan and Jacen ran his hand over his son's head. He then looked over at Tenel Ka. He smiled at her.

"Are you feeling better?" Tenel Ka asked.

"Hard not to when we have a water fight that gets us kicked out of a hotel permanently," Jacen said with a chuckle. "I didn't know you were that rebellious."

"I am a lot of things, Jacen, some that you don't know about, just as you are many things that I don't know about." Tenel Ka said softly and placed a hand on Jacen's cheek. She frowned at him.

"You're freezing." She then started for the kitchen.

"I'll be fine." He said, following her. "Tenel Ka, there's nothing wrong."

"Yes, there is. The force came back just now and there's something you're worried about." She looked at him seriously.

Jacen lowered his gaze. He couldn't tell her something that he wasn't even sure was true. But it was becoming more real now that he could actually feel the problem in every fiber of his being, and somehow he knew that he couldn't avoid it, even feelings through the force were known for being pretty accurate and he was having clear cut visions. The only person Jacen could think of who would know anything about visions was his uncle, Luke Skywalker, and maybe Anakin. Jacen's younger brother had been having nightmare visions about Darth Vader since he was a child, maybe even younger, Jacen didn't know.

Jacen would have to confide in his uncle since Anakin was off elsewhere doing who knew what. The boy was always wayward and did things randomly. Anakin was a worry for Jacen, and it bothered Jacen that he couldn't talk too easily to Anakin. There were so many layers in Anakin's life that Jacen couldn't even begin to unravel and Jacen knew that Tahiri had a much better shot at it. But that was another thing that kept Jacen feeling hopeless. Always.

He paused before taking the cup of hot tea from Tenel Ka. He saw something in her eyes that was unusual, it was unmasked pain. Tenel Ka never showed weakness. Jacen stared at her, his body shook as he coughed. He definitely would have a cold, but that was the least of his problems. Tomorrow he'd go see his uncle and share his vision.

Jaina sat on the grass surrounding the small memorial erected for the people who died during the Yuuzhan Vong war, mainly Jedi but also some other stones were there to mark the memory of others who died on the Mykyr mission but their bodies were never recovered. Jaina ran her hand over the letters of Zekk's name on the stone in front of her. It was cool from the rain that had poured down the night before. Jaina didn't mind the dampness of the grass.

"Jag's such an ass, but I don't think I can ignore that he's," She searched her mind for the right words. "Nice?" She glanced sideways at Zekk's gravestone. He'd probably hate her for moving on. It wasn't something she wanted to do. But it was happening anyways, even if Jag wasn't going to be her next boyfriend, he marked the change that was coming over Jaina and the change that was moving her past being in love with someone who was dead, someone who had meant the galaxy to her, but was now just a memory and a gravestone in a memorial to look at. Jaina didn't want to think about moving on, but it had to come up some time. She was already in the process because her mind and heart knew it was time. Jaina couldn't let herself get up though. It felt just right being where she was. It was comfortable, being in a place she was familiar with.

"You can say it. He's nice." A voice turned Jaina around. She stared at the young man behind her with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his thick brown jacket, his brown hair blowing in the cool breeze.

"I'm not sure why you think it's such a betrayal to make yourself happy." Anakin said, his blue eyes staring firmly but still softly at his sister. After telling Kitster the story of his grandfather Anakin had taken the next shuttle home and as soon as he'd gotten there, had felt his sister's presence away from the apartment and followed it to the memorial. His instincts had gotten much sharper over the past year or so.

"What about you? You're always acting so serious." Jaina replied as she stood up. Anakin came over and knelt next to Zekk's grave, placing his hand on the top of the stone.

"That's because I know when to let go, and when to be serious, I'm not sure you remember." He glanced at her. "Do you?" It wasn't an accusatory question, merely one out of curiosity so Jaina shook her head simply and replied softly and faintly as she felt.

"Not really."

"Then if Jag makes that much difference, do yourself a favor and have a good time whenever he's around." Anakin smiled at her.

"You've changed, Anakin." Jaina observed. Anakin shrugged.

"No more than anyone else has."

"Yes, you never acted this directly towards anyone, even when you wanted to comfort them, you wouldn't be this straight forward," Jaina replied, "I sometimes wonder if there's any of the shy Anakin left."

"The Yuuzhan Vong scared him away." Anakin said with a wry smile, and then stood up, brushing the leaves that had fallen on the top of the gravestone to the ground.

"Anakin, I'm sorry about what I did. It was wrong. I know you were close to Zekk and you were only trying to help."

"I know you didn't." Anakin said, walking over to where Jaina was standing. She then saw that Anakin was a little taller than she was. It was almost scary how tall Anakin was now. "Zekk was important to you, and seeing me come back alive while he was dead, isn't exactly easy."

"Still, I was brutal to you." Jaina rubbed her arm. "Really, Anakin, you of all people don't deserve that kind of treatment."

"Ha, ha, you'd be surprised." Anakin murmured, immediately thinking of Zekk's presence still being in the void.

"I won't be because I know the person you are doesn't just do things to hurt people." Jaina said firmly, her usual stubbornness creeping back into her tone. Anakin smiled brightly at the sound.

"I haven't heard that tone in a while." He grinned. Jaina raised an eyebrow then smirked.

"Better get used to it, because it's not going away." She folded her arms across her chest.

"I'm glad to hear it." Anakin said, laughing. He then looked up as he noticed for the first time that Tahiri was standing behind the tree a few feet to the left. How long had she been there?

"Looks like you've got some ends of your own to tie up." Jaina observed, giving her brother a pat on the shoulder. "I'll see you back home." He gave her a grateful nod and thanks through the force then walked over to where Tahiri was standing. After he'd abruptly taken off from Coruscant, leaving both a confused Tahiri and a conflicted Kitster with the story of Anakin becoming Darth Vader, Anakin went home alone.

Now he was facing the only person who could tell that he'd been angry over the memory of Anakin's betrayal of Padme, after all Anakin's goal was to save her, but he never did, he lost himself and ended up killing Padme instead of saving her.

He stared into Tahiri's green eyes, his breath barely visible in the foggy air. "You have changed you know." Tahiri said finally. He stared even more intently at her. "You're not the same person as before, you've grown a lot and that means you're not as childlike and naïve. But you're still the same person at heart. I don't get why you outright deny that."

"Because the shy Anakin would never do something like leave someone behind when he could have done something to bring him back."

"You're a good person, Anakin. No one should tell you differently. What Kitster told me about your conversation, you got angry why?"

"Because I remembered something I didn't want to." Anakin replied briskly. Tahiri gazed into his eyes, trying to get a feel for what had set him off but he wouldn't budge.

"Anakin, let me in. For once, I want to see exactly what happened." He nodded stiffly because he knew that meant he had to lower all his barriers to let her see into his mind. Something he'd never done for anyone, even Tahiri. As Tahiri viewed the conversation, from Anakin's perspective of course, she saw that he'd gotten tense right when the memory of Anakin Skywalker hurting Padme flashed into his mind. She knew this was a result from the void. Anakin now knew everything that his grandfather had.

Tahiri reached out and pulled Anakin into a tight hug. "I know you'd never do that to anyone, okay?" She let him lean against her. "I know."

His arms were limp then he slowly brought them around Tahiri. "I'm sorry, I don't always do the right thing or say the right thing. But I love you, Tahiri. Even if I'm bad at showing it, I do."

"Yeah," She laughed a little, "Dummy."

Jacen sat down facing Luke Skywalker with a stony expression.

"What's this all about, Jacen?" Luke asked. Jacen sucked in his breath then sighed.

"I've been having a vision, Uncle Luke. One that I've started to sense is real." Jacen said slowly, waiting to hear his uncle's reaction.

"Vision? Of what?" Luke asked, frowning. Jacen grimaced.

"Tenel Ka, and-" His insides twisted and he pushed the words out as quickly as possible. "She gets so sick that she dies."

**A/N- Cliff hanger!! ^_^ Hope you enjoyed, please R&R!! **


	4. Fear's Desperate Grip

A/N- I just want to note that for those of you wondering when Zekk is coming back, he is, but I've got something specific planned so he'll come back a little later (but he is coming back, I promise!).

Other than that, it's been hard to post as often as I did over the summer, which stinks. =( But the upside is that I'll be working extra hard on the chapters when I do get to post them. =)

I've finished reading "Allegiance" and I'm now reading "Heir to the Empire" (one Zahn book to another, yay!!!), which is going to be inspiration for the chapters that I'm developing that contain Mara Jade action, yahhhhh!!!!!!

Anyone like The Kooks? It's a relatively new British band that's up and coming. There's not much of them on I-Tunes, but that's okay since their best work is best bought elsewhere. I recommend to anyone who's interested to check them out. ^_^ (I write my fan-fiction to the sound of The Kooks). Konk is pretty good and so is Inside in/Inside Out (albums).

Any rate, on to SW again. Thanks to all the readers who are still keeping up with this series. I hope you're enjoying it! (I'd love you forever if you leave me a review every now and again).

**JediBettyBug- You'll see. ^_^ Originally I planned to go in the J/J direction but it's still up in the air, I'm kind of letting that part of the story just write itself, it's more natural that way. Visions are always kind of creepy, especially since you never know if they're true or not. I'm big on drama as you already know. Thanks for reviewing! **

I'm open to critique as long as it's not flaming. Please tell me what I'm doing right as well because that helps me to know what to keep and what to improve/take out.

Flaming cheese is delicious (for those of you who have tasted Saganaki you know what I'm talking about).

Westward Ho!

-Don ^_^

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 3**

**Fear's Desperate Grip**

The night was always long. That was what Mara had learned in her early days of training with Palpatine. He had told her to constantly be wary that while the day dragged on, the night was the longest and the best time to be conscious. Mara, despite who had taught her those lessons, never quite found it unreasonable or distrustful in theory as well as in practice.

So as soon as Mara heard the sounds coming from the other room, and without Luke there to leap to his feet, as she knew he would, Mara knew it was time to bring out her skills from the days of the empire. The stealth and agility when countering an enemy on one's own turf was crucial as the situation could always turn when one least expected it to. Mara found her body was still well tuned and moved swiftly and without a sound through the halls of her apartment that she knew so well. The noises were coming from Kyle's room. Ben was now almost five years old, and had his own room, but Kyle was by himself close to Mara and Luke's bedroom. Mara lowered herself closer to the ground and reached out in the force to get a sense of where in the room the intruder was. She reached out again and called her lightsaber to her hand, as soon as it touched her fingers the intruder had moved in the room. Whoever it was knew she was out here because she'd felt the presence shift when she called her lightsaber. This was trickier than she expected. Mara held her breath then moved closer to the door, if she moved too quickly the intruder might act rashly and she didn't want that. Not with Kyle in the room.

_What a way to grow up_, she mused to herself. The Solo children had been through similar kidnapping or killing attempts throughout their childhood. More so the twins than Anakin, but still the threats were always there. Even as young adults, they were still in danger of being attacked in their own homes. Though Mara wouldn't put it past Anakin to be overtaken by a kidnapper, the younger Solo was cool minded and strong in the force like Luke. If anything, the intruder would be overtaken by Anakin instead. Mara shook the thoughts from her mind. _Focus, Jade_, she snapped to herself. Mara's senses prickled as she snapped her head around just in time to catch the incoming neon colored blade on her own lightsaber. Her reflexes were thankfully still intact after all these years.

Mara's eyes narrowed and she pressed hard against her opponent's blade. Two cool golden eyes bored into Mara's. She wasn't sure who this was, or what he, she at least could tell that much from the force presence was trying to do. If he wanted to kill Mara, he would have already, that much was clear. But maybe he was just seeing if he had to kill her.

"Lord Jyaing, there's another one in here." A soldier in a black armor that covered the figure's entire body stepped out of Ben's room. Mara's mind raced. The calm and almost gentle sounding voice from the cloak was off from the amount of anger Mara sensed coming from this force user.

"Kill him." The voice commanded. Mara's instincts immediately drew her to disengage from her current fight and rush to confront the soldier who raised his blaster to level with Ben's small form on his bed. Mara force shoved the soldier aside as the blaster went upwards and shot Mara in the leg. She winced but swiftly cut down the four other soldiers in the room. Then as she looked up, the cloaked figure exited the room holding a small bundle in his arms. Mara didn't think twice about her injuries. The force user, whoever he was, was taking an infant in his arms. Mara's realization that the comment about killing Ben was empty and was only an attempt to distract her from protecting Kyle, who was the real target of the kidnapping and now it was almost impossible for her to do anything with two dozen soldiers all aiming their weapons half at her and at Ben.

"Your choice, Former Emperor's Hand," The voice of the force user said coolly, not once revealing weakness or hesitation.

_Bam_.

Mara's and the force user's attention went to the door as it blasted inwards, revealing a taller figure in a cloak followed by another cloaked figure and more soldiers.

"Master, I told you I could handle this." The force user holding Kyle said.

The Master turned to face the speaker. "Enough, Apprentice, you have wasted time here." The cold voice froze any actions the force user called Jyaing was about to make.

"Yes, Master." The frostiness in Jyaing's voice was apparent to Mara, and for a moment she wondered if Jyaing was going to cut down the one who was his master.

"Mara Jade, it has been long since anyone has seen you with a lightsaber in your hands. I'm sorry Skywalker rendered you foolishly helpless." The Master then turned around and a ship lowered itself outside the window, throwing a cable to those in the apartment. One by one the members slipped out, leaving Mara helpless against the threat against Ben. She carefully sent a force message to Luke, warning him about what had happened.

Once again someone appeared in the doorway, this time Mara recognized the presence. Though the person she saw didn't give her comfort.

"Aunt Mara!" The figure rushed forward, igniting his blade and immediately engaging the soldiers and then locking blades with Jyaing.

"Anakin, no!" Mara called, a moment too late, as all the blasters turned on the smaller Jedi and fired, Mara deflected what she could, but the blasts struck Anakin's back and front as he turned around, sending flames at the soldiers and engulfing Jyaing, whose eyes went wide at the sight.

The Master took interest as well. "Well, this has indeed been fruitful." The Master then pulled Jyaing and the other soldiers up, as Anakin kneeled clutching at his injuries. He gazed up as the ship left the apartment with broken glass and a partially singed hallway.

Mara rushed over to tend to Anakin. "Why did you do that? You could have killed yourself." Mara said, examining his injuries.

"Because, I felt them coming before I could start to help. There wasn't any time."

"Anakin," Mara said fiercely, "What you did was foolish, Anakin, nothing else. Not to mention you used force fire." She eyed him intensely. "Luke told me that you used it in the battle against the Yuuzhan Vong on Coruscant too."

"Uncle Luke did?" Anakin asked. So Uncle Luke did notice, Anakin thought in resign. That meant anyone else could have seen him using the fire. He stared into his Aunt's eyes.

"No one is worth using that much anger against." Mara told him. Anakin shook his head.

"I wasn't angry. Force fire is driven by both light and dark force emotions."

Mara stared at Anakin, "You're going to have to explain this to me later then. First let's call the New Republic security and get you to a Med-Center."

Leia turned as a holo-message beeped on her holo-communicator. She pressed the button and began to talk.

"What? Attacked? Anakin did?" Leia's eyes went wide with each piece of news Mara had to share from the other end. Han came into the room, trying to catch as much as he could from the conversation.

"What's wrong?" He asked as Leia hung up.

"Kyle was kidnapped last night and Anakin showed to help and ended up getting hurt instead." Leia moaned. Han wrapped his arms around her.

"Come on, Princess, our kids are made of sterner stuff." He cocked a grin. "I should know."

Leia rolled her eyes at him. "Oh, really?" She folded her arms across her chest. Han made a mock pouting face. Leia still refused to budge. Han then shrugged and went off into the kitchen.

"I'll just eat in here by myself then." He said, starting off. Leia knew this routine, but her concern for Anakin was preventing her from fully playing along to Han's attempt to lighten the situation.

"Han, focus for a minute. Our son just tried to head of a group of kidnapper with three possible force users in it, we have to talk to him.

"And say what?" Han asked, coming back into the room, all the playfulness out of his tone. "That he should stop being reckless."

"Yes!" Leia replied firmly. Han sighed.

"Leia, that's like telling a Jedi not to use the force." He pointed out, mussing his own hair, "It doesn't work like that."

"We have to say something or he'll just keep getting hurt until…" She didn't want to even finish her own sentence. Han, even though he didn't have the force, could immediately tell she was deeply troubled. He came over and embraced her, this time completely serious about his intentions.

"I've got someone who'll talk some sense into him." Han said with a small grin. Leia gazed curiously up at him, now thoroughly confused.

Anakin winced as the loud and sharp voice rang across the hospital room.

"Are you insane?!"

"Hang on, since when does going to help someone out classify as insane?" Anakin retorted, but was cut off once again.

"Doesn't matter, Lame-Brain, you just don't know when to stick your neck into someone and when to just stay out of it."

"I couldn't just stand there!" Anakin protested but to no avail.

"That's your problem! Build a bridge and get over it, and I mean now, Hero Boy." Two fiery emerald green eyes grilled into Anakin, making him shrink back against the pillows.

Anakin scowled. He knew his dad had sent Tahiri to chew him out, it was just the kind of thing his dad would do. Anakin was now thoroughly and completely pissed at his father for it. There was just no arguing with Tahiri when she got like this.

"Kyle was being kidnapped, Tahiri, do you expect me to just let that happen?"

"When you could be killed if you jump in to try to stop a crowd full of armed soldiers, and three force users who are probably stronger than you are," She added the last bit slowly and Anakin's scowl deepened.

"Mara was there." He said with the most coldness his voice could muster.

"And she had the sense to stay out. I don't get why you feel the need to get hurt every five seconds, either you're some kind of masochist or you have thrill issues." She shot at Anakin, then thought briefly, _Or both. _

"Listen, Tahiri, it's not like I try to get hurt, I just don't like to just lie around when I could be doing something.

"At least use your head when you're doing it!" She bit back, then softened her voice. "Anakin, come on, this is getting ridiculous. You just got out of the hospital and now you're back again. It's bad for your body, at some point your body won't be able to take any more."

Anakin opened his mouth then shut it. She was right, as usual. He had been unnecessarily reckless, and he could have at least assessed the situation Mara was in before charging in. It could have been Kyle, Ben, or Mara who was hit by the blasts.

"Fortunately it's not too serious, so you'll be out in a day or two." Tahiri said with a sigh, coming over to sit down on the end of the bed. Anakin looked at her carefully.

"Do I always sound and act like an idiot?" He asked. Tahiri's head went back with surprise.

"What kind of a question is that?" She gazed at Anakin who was now rolling and unrolling the folds of his bed sheets. "Galaxy to Anakin Solo," Tahiri waved her hand in front of his face when Anakin didn't answer.

"Just tell me, yes or no." He said finally. Tahiri looked over at the door then back at Anakin.

"Honestly? You're one of the most intelligent people I know, Anakin. But you do tend to act pretty idiotic sometimes. I don't really expect you to be perfect, but there's always something more logical than biting off more nerf steak than you can chew."

Anakin chuckled at the turn of phrase she'd used. "Yeah, you're right."

"Of course I am." Tahiri said, sounding mock affronted, and then laughed. "Anakin, what do you think we should do?"

He looked at her questioningly, "About what?"

"Well, you're not quite ready to be a master and you're not done with your training, so what should we do about it?"

Anakin thought for a moment, lowering his gaze to the covers, then looked into Tahiri's eyes. "If I said I wanted to leave, would you come?"

"Leave?" Tahiri repeated, not entirely sure where Anakin was going with this.

"Not running away, I mean to go train on our own," Anakin explained, "But I need to train more with the force fire and I can't do that while I'm here," He then added, "And I won't be taking my lightsaber with me."

Tahiri sighed. "What good would it do if you don't have it with you?"

"That's just it, Tahiri. I need to hone my skills again without the lightsaber. Right now it's just a killing tool. That's all we've used them for in the war." He fixated her with his ice blue eyes and tried to get a feeling through the force as to what she was thinking.

"Tahiri?"

"Hang on, I'm thinking." She replied gruffly. Anakin fell silent while Tahiri narrowed her eyes then furrowed her brow before looking up at the ceiling. He found all of her actions while thinking funny and laughed, causing Tahiri to continue what she was doing but say her retort in the process.

"Keep that up and I'll never come with you." She threatened. Anakin smirked. It was clearly the wrong reaction because Tahiri started to get up. He raised his eyebrows at her.

"I know you won't leave." He said smugly.

"Oh really? Watch me." She started out, but Anakin had a firm grip on her arm despite his initial state of injury he still had a lot of energy and strength.

"Anakin, let go."

"Nope, no can do," He said with a song-song voice, "I've made a promise."

"What promise, you never promised anything," She said, still trying to exit the room but Anakin held fast to her arm.

"Yes, I did, Tahiri. That the next time I fought you'd be with me? I promised myself I'd be with you in the next fight, so I can't let go." He arched his brow to challenge her. Tahiri's eyes suddenly got a glint, throwing Anakin off for a second. That was all it took for her to kiss him hard, leaving Anakin slightly stunned, and his grip completely broken. Tahiri then started out the door and only made it to the doorway before Anakin's voice caught her.

"That was a cheap shot." He said before kissing her back. "Now we're even."

"Fine, I'll come. But I'm going to hate every minute of it." She said with a grunt then went out. Anakin laughed.

"Uh-huh." He said aloud to himself skeptically.

Mara talked calmly as possible with the New Republic's security council about retrieving Kyle but none of them seemed to know anything about the kidnappers other than what Mara had said.

"Perhaps you were mistaken and they are not force users as you say," Fey'la suggested, his fur rippling.

"I know they were force users, Chief Fey'la." Mara said evenly. The Bothan frowned.

"I beg your pardon, Master Skywalker, but not everything a Jedi says is truthful."

"I could say the same for what you say." Mara countered, her sharp tongue getting the better of her, but she didn't bother to apologize as she really wasn't in the least bit sorry. Chief Fey'la had been nothing but trouble for the New Republic and the New Jedi Order. She also knew that even before she'd met Luke, Leia, or Han all three had had to deal with Fey'la's comments against the Jedi many times. That made Mara even more wary. Fey'la was never a clear ally to the Jedi cause even if he never sided with the Peace Brigade. She noted this with conviction and it decided for her that Fey'la wasn't going to give her any nerf shit.

"I assure you, Master Skywalker," Fey'la's voice now dangerously low, "I am trustworthy, but you Jedi-"

"Have saved your asses on multiple occasions and are the reason you can sit here and act like a stuck up hutt." Mara folded her arms across her chest. This conference was going nowhere and fast.

"Enough!" Wedge Antilles' voice bellowed. The two turned to face the General. "We will send a force to search for Kyle. Meanwhile, I ask for cooperation from both of you in the rebuilding of the galaxy. We shouldn't be fighting right now."

"I'll take that to heart, if he does." Mara cast a ferocious glare in Fey'la's direction.

"Chief Fey'la?" Wedge said, his voice holding the clear threat of Fey'la's current position on the council.

"For now," The Bothan said, eyeing Mara with distaste as the other members including Wedge filed out. When they were all gone, he commented to Mara acidly, "You are every bit as annoying as your husband."

Mara smiled at that, "Good thing too. We Skywalkers don't like to get pushed around." She then left without another word, feeling better knowing that Luke hadn't caved to Fey'la either.

Jacen hadn't slept well since his talk with his uncle, Luke Skywalker. The advice had been less than satisfactory because Luke had told Jacen the truth: Visions usually appeared for a reason. But he also warned Jacen not to overreact as the reaction often caused the visions to come true. Jacen didn't even know where to begin analyzing that statement. It was vague and frustrated every bone in Jacen's body and irritated every nerve. He knew something was wrong with Tenel Ka, he knew. She'd been to see Cilghal at Jacen's request after his talk with Luke, and Cilghal's explanation of Tenel Ka's condition was more or less a confirmation of the inevitable spreading of a disease that was not only rare but incurable. Because it was rare, Cilghal had explained, there were very few cases to test antidotes on or research on. Jacen immediately suggested that Tenel Ka take tests to try to find a cure.

It was the best chance she had. Though the disease wasn't one that would kill instantly, it did shorten the lifespan of the victim and weakened their immune system to things that the body could usually fend off. Jacen cursed as he banged the sides of the sink, staring into his ragged appearance. He hadn't shaved recently and also hadn't been eating much either. The lines of his jawbone were prominent in his thin cheeks and his hair was more messy than usual. Jaina had been by to talk to him, but there wasn't anything she could say that made Jacen feel any better. He was completely hopeless against an enemy that not even a lightsaber could cut.

He went to Valin's cradle. Tonight was one of the nights that Tenel Ka spent at the Med-Center undergoing tests while Jacen took care of Valin. The baby was moaning in his sleep then turned to look up at his father. He then let out a small cry. Jacen then scooped the baby up into his arms and held the infant close to Jacen's chest. Eventually Valin drifted off to sleep. Jacen turned his head to watch look out the window at the sky. All he could do was sit while waiting for an answer from Cilghal. In all his years training as a Jedi never had Jacen felt this helpless, even when he'd lost the force he wasn't this helpless. Cold dread crept into Jacen's mind. It kept him from paying attention during the day to what he was doing. Jacen carefully laid Valin down in the cradle again, the soft sound of the infant's breathing sent some calm through Jacen.

He then started out of the room when his body seized up, pain shot through his chest and out at his arms and legs, causing Jacen to fall to the floor. The thud caused Valin to wake up and start wailing. The pain kept Jacen on the floor, immobilized by an unidentifiable source of anguish that tore through Jacen's every nerve and eventually made his vision flash white twice before he opened his eyes to pass out on the floor.

**A/N- Hee, another cliffie! I loves me some cliffies. I've also been working on my other story "Life's Song," for Young Wizards so chapter posting is off (not to mention all the essays I've had to write, bleah). Hope you enjoyed the posting, and the next one will most likely be this weekend. I'm not sure. **


	5. Everything Comes to an End

**Chapter 4**

**Everything Comes to An End**

_A/N- Hey all! I've been working on this here chappie for most of the day since I finished my one and only college class today at around 12. I'm now finishing it with a nice cup of hot cocoa next to me. It's so nice when it's freezing where I'm currently living (and no it's not the Yukon, ha, ha- although I've always wanted to wrestle a polar bear). _

_Anyways, I hope you've all had a good week and hoorays for the weekend!! The weekend is a good time for three things: fan fiction, food, and sleep. Maybe some book reading too, but that about sums up my plans. Of course, I'll end up doing homework eventually but I owe all of you another chapter because of my busy schedule slowing the progression here._

_JediBettyBug- I love cliffies too! Though it's better for me since I'm the author and I already know what's going to happen, lol. _

_Oh, yeah, I'm really excited to write (but mostly edit) what will most likely be the next or chapter after that because it's the core of "Life and the Force" but as usual I will not say why because that would constitute as spoilers and I know there are some fans out there who will not like me if I disclose that information. Ahem, mum's the word!_

_Um, just a warning, this chapter has a lot of romantic stuff, so I'm just letting you know that it's there. I've kind of laid on the angst these past few chapters so I think some romance is in order. _

_-Donny Q ^_^ (I decided to mess with my nickname a bit, hee!)._

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Anakin stared out of the frontal viewport of the ship. He'd left as soon as he was feeling better, and against Tahiri's protests, they had packed that day and left the following morning. Now he was steering the ship through space, the little dots becoming blurred lines as they flew. His eyes went to the chair where Tahiri was dozing. He'd gotten her up so early that she fell asleep as soon as they took off. He smiled at her.

Something always put him at peace when he saw her relaxed expression as she slept. He returned his gaze to the stars. He wasn't entirely sure where they were going, but he knew that somehow the answer would present itself. It had to be somewhere he could practice what was most likely a forbidden force technique even if it wasn't even one that Jedi Masters, even Luke Skywalker, knew anything about. Anakin felt guilty about taking off without saying anything to Aunt Mara. He'd left a holo- note for his parents, but other than that hadn't said a word about what he was doing or where he was going, because frankly, he had no idea himself.

A small sigh escaped his lips, and then slowly they curled into a bitter smile. Now that he was leaving he truly was defying the Jedi code and when he came back he'd have a complete hold on his force fire. Something he planned to teach to Edo. Anakin could never bring himself to tell his parents that he was dabbling in something that was as close to the dark side as one could get without going AWOL.

_Which I probably am, _Anakin thought with a little humor. It was hard to believe that the thing scaring him the most right now was Anakin himself. The Yuuzhan Vong had hurt him, sure, but Anakin had never been afraid of them. He just plain didn't like them. Inside him was a monster that was dormant but every time he let loose force fire, the monster stirred a little. Anakin wasn't even sure why he gave into the monster so often. When did letting the inner demon of one's being become forbidden? _And when did I decide it wasn't any more? _

Anakin glanced up as the first planet came up on the screen. He frowned at the planet, he'd just randomly been flying through space and the planet that loomed in the frontal viewport only served to make Anakin's blood boil then go cold. He nearly jumped as he felt something touch his shoulders.

"Hey, take it easy, it's me." Tahiri's voice said from behind Anakin's head. He relaxed a little as Tahiri looked at the planet in the distance.

"Mykyr, huh," She looked at Anakin whose face was contorting slightly to reveal the discomfort he felt from being near the place that had ultimately changed him from a normal Jedi into something completely undefined. _Talk about reverse development, weren't adventures supposed to make you grow forwards not backwards?_

"Try not to crash into it this time." Tahiri commented absentmindedly as she went back into the storage closet to grab some rations. Anakin muttered something under his breath about smelly jawas and Tahiri's abnormal hearing caught his mix of insults. He switched the ship onto Auto-Pilot.

"I do believe you're being rude, Mr. Solo." She raised an eyebrow at him as she held the rations in her hands. He glared daggers at her, ignoring the building threat in her tone. "If you don't clean up I won't give you any food." Anakin turned his head away.

"Fine then, you can starve." She opened the rations box closest to her and began to eat. Anakin's nose picked up what little smell the rations had but refused to turn his head and reveal that she had him at her mercy. Food was something Anakin had trouble resisting and he never planned to let his enemies know that was a weakness. It was pretty pathetic. He cast what he thought was a secretive glance at the food but was caught by Tahiri.

"I see I've got your attention. Mind apologizing?" She arched her eyebrows as Anakin muttered, "If you weren't my girlfriend I'd just use the force to get it from you."

"Oh, so Anakin Solo does have a soft spot?" She smiled at him despite Anakin's sour expression, then handed him the unopened rations box. He took it and began opening the wrapped food items.

"Do you enjoy tormenting me?"

"I'm not tormenting you, Anakin. I'm doing something you may not have heard of, it's called _teasing._" She threw him a bemused look to which he shrugged, digging into his food with vigor. Tahiri resisted laughing at him. He ate like he wasn't going to get another meal for a while and she knew that rations tasted terrible, or didn't taste like anything period.

Anakin made a face. "Don't they know that if they give the soldiers indigestion it's a bad thing?"

"I don't think the taste is the point, Anakin." Tahiri pointed out.

"Yeah, I know, but still a little effort never hurt anyone." He grunted and finished what he thought was a bread type bar but he wasn't sure and didn't plan to find out.

"Except you," Tahiri said and dodged being hit by Anakin's hand. He struck out again, this time catching Tahiri's hand and making her drop her empty rations box. He stepped back, and then realized that he'd pulled her up with him and stumbled backwards against the wall.

"Ow." He moaned and rubbed his head, then looked down at Tahiri. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," She said, then started to get up. Anakin's hand pulled her back down the place she'd been in, leaning her head against his chest.

"Don't move." He smiled, then wrapped his arms around her, and kissed her hair then her forehead. Tahiri was surprised but it didn't take her long to respond by kissing him on the mouth. For the first time, Tahiri and Anakin moved inside each other's mouths. It was strange and exhilarating at the same time. They broke apart, both breathing heavily and looked into each other's eyes with a mix of confusion and questioning. Their last conversation about taking the next step had ended with Anakin not saying anything and Tahiri stomping off. Now they had taken the next level with kissing, bringing to both their minds the issue of what to do next.

Tahiri broke the silence, "We don't have to do anything, Anakin. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

He swallowed. She had no idea how far off that statement was or for that matter why he was uncomfortable. "I- uh," He pushed his uncertainty into the back of his mind, "I'm not uncomfortable." It was literally killing him to not just give in to his emotions. He really loved Tahiri a lot. Emotionally and physically, and there was no doubt about whether or not he wanted to have sex. He was more worried about hurting her because he knew how insane his emotions were. He brushed the hair from Tahiri's face and kissed her again, this time, all his heart went with him, as if his entire emotional being was going from his body into her mouth.

Tahiri placed a hand on his cheek. "I believe you."

"Someday, Tahiri, we'll know when it's time. I just don't know if it's now." Anakin said calmly, his voice saying what he'd been trying to tell her for a long time. Tahiri nodded. She felt his passion through the force, and of course through the last kiss. It just wasn't the moment. As cheesy as that seemed, it was the truth.

Tahiri's hand touched the cotton over Anakin's back, feeling the firm muscles underneath it as they deepened their current kiss. Anakin and Tahiri then pulled back to catch their breath. Anakin grinned at Tahiri, and then kissed her forehead. He shifted a little so she could more comfortably sleep on his chest. Anakin then only realized how tired he was too. He'd programmed the ship to land on Mykyr. There were some things he wanted to find out from there, and he planned to get over his initial misgivings from his mission there.

"Anakin?" Her voice made Anakin look down, but not too quickly so he wouldn't hit her head with his chin.

"Mmm?" He noted that her eyes were now looking straight at him.

"I know we're not read yet, but do you want to," She looked a little sheepish, "Just sleep in the same bed. With clothes, I mean, um…" She blushed bright red. Anakin couldn't help but chuckle a little internally. They'd shared intimacy like that before, so he wasn't sure why she was getting embarrassed now.

Instead of the surprised expression Tahiri was expecting from Anakin, the one she got was a gentle smile. "Of course," He then waited until Tahiri had moved off him, then he stood up, pulling Tahiri to her feet.

Ten minutes later Anakin was laying on one the beds with Tahiri's head resting on his chest again and Anakin's arm wrapped around her curled up form. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep as easily as Tahiri. She had been on the Mykyr mission, something that was traumatic for all of them, but Anakin had been to the void, which was something else entirely. It was the Mykyr mission that had sent Anakin there in the first place.

He didn't much relish the idea of going back, but for some reason his random flying had turned him up here. There had to be reason for it, the force had a way of pushing those within it in certain directions. Anakin knew that better than anyone else. His blue eyes glanced down at Tahiri again, the thumping of her heart resonated against his side and created a soothing rhythm that eventually caused Anakin to drift off to sleep.

Jacen could hear yelling. It wasn't himself. He knew the voices though. He forced his eyes further shut, but then as more pain shot through him they opened too quickly for him to blink out the sight of the hospital room he was now in. Jacen winced visibly.

"Jace," Jaina breathed as she came over to sit in the chair next to his bed, "Force, don't ever try that stunt again."

He shifted his head as much as possible without causing more pain than already was disconcerting his thoughts. He looked into the soft brown eyes of his twin sister.

"I felt your pain through the force. What the hell happened to you, Jace?" She asked. Jacen couldn't shake his head so he decided to just verbalize all of his usual gestures.

"I don't know, Jaina." He said, Jaina nodded, feeling his honesty through their bond. She bit her lip, an unusual gesture for the war hardened Jaina Solo. Jacen could also feel a lot more of her anxiety through their twin bond than anyone could through a normal bond in the force. He looked at her, sending a calm but firm questioning feeling through the force to her.

"The doctors don't really know either, not even Cilghal." Jaina finally said, apprehension lingering on her every word. Jacen was about to comment then something else occurred to him.

"Valin, who's taking care of him?"

Jaina had to laugh at Jacen's sudden outburst. "The ever doting and overprotective father, I wonder if you'll ever let Valin do anything on his own," She smiled reassuringly at her brother, "Valin's fine. After I came over to find you unconscious on the floor, I called Mom and Dad; they're taking care of Valin while you and Tenel Ka are in the hospital."

"Tenel Ka's here?" Jacen's voice strained. Jaina nodded.

"Not for the reason you think. She's actually doing a lot better because of Cilghal's intense research." She scanned Jacen, "You're actually doing worse than she is."

"I feel like it too." Jacen said, smirking a little. "They really don't know what's wrong?"

"As far as Cilghal can tell, you've got nothing that's obviously wrong, but it's like…" Jaina averted her eyes and bit her lip for the second time. That got Jacen to frown deeply.

"What?" He said, his voice going down in tone. She looked at Jacen.

"It's like the condition you were in right after the Mykyr mission. You weren't outwardly injured but your body was acting as though it was."

Jacen met her gaze solidly. "I'm not planning on kicking the bucket any time soon, Jaina." He cocked a grin at her.

She sighed, hitting Jacen's forehead with her palm. He rubbed it, giving her a scowl. "It's not about whether or not you plan to do something, Jace. In case you missed the past two times you've almost died and it had nothing to do with your planning. Things just happen and we improvise, and that's how we end up getting hurt or killed," She fixated him with a sterner expression. "Listen, Jace, Tenel Ka's getting better but she's making herself worse by worrying about you. So, if you can do something," She paused with a nod at Jacen's look of confusion, "I know you don't know anything about what's happening to you, but do us all a favor if you do figure it out and get better fast."

"I will." Jacen replied somberly. He was now worried that Tenel Ka was going to wear herself out worrying over him, and that wasn't what he wanted. She needed to get better, he hated having his body cause more problems for him than he was actually ready to deal with. Tenel Ka being sick was enough. Couldn't the force just let him off with that?

"Anakin left." Jaina said after a few minutes of silence. Jacen's head flicked around to stare at Jaina. His jaw set.

"When?"

"This morning," She said, allowing Jacen the moment to take in the fact that he'd been unconscious for almost an entire day. _Considering my past experiences_, Jacen thought dryly, _that isn't so bad._

"He sent a holo-message saying he was going off to do some training," Then a bemused light entered Jaina's eyes, "And Tahiri went with him." Jacen snorted. Training? When those two were together that was the last thing that they were doing.

"Mom's pretty upset, Anakin didn't say when he'd be back and he never mentioned where he was going." Jaina explained as Jacen listened silently, not wanting to comment until she was completely done talking. Now that she was looking at him wordlessly and her force emotions were ones of loss of answers, Jacen decided to put in his bit.

"I hate to be the one to say this, but Anakin isn't a kid anymore. He hasn't ever really acted like one, and as much as I'd love to keep him here and out of trouble." Jaina coughed at that. Jacen ignored her and continued, "He seems to have a goal in mind and he's more directed with his life than I've ever been."

Jaina's eyes narrowed but Jacen felt no disagreement from her. "He's definitely trying to figure something out and he's probably running a random course which is why he's not saying anything." Jacen said.

"It's definitely something Anakin'd do." Jaina replied. Anakin's last words about whether or not he was the same person as before caused her to realize that Anakin himself was searching for something he probably didn't even know was out in the galaxy or not, or if it was even something that was tangible for that matter.

Jacen looked down at his hands, his entire body ached for no reason and the pain kept building with every second that he talked to Jaina. Then his vision blurred and he found himself not in the hospital room but in a place that was completely undefined with force energy swirling around his entire body.

"Jacen Solo, it has been a long time." A voice said. Jacen whirled to face the speaker. His jaw dropped.

"Synthor! You're dead, but-" Jacen stammered. The Sytar smiled without showing any surprise.

"To be sure, I am the form of the one you knew as Synthor but I am not he." Synthor gestured to the swirling energy.

"Do you know where we are, Jacen Solo?" Synthor asked. Jacen looked around him.

"No idea, but it feels really strong with force energy."

"You do not know this, but Anakin was here before. Not too long ago I might add," Synthor came around to move some of the energy towards the far end of the swirling, what Jacen thought looked like a long tube. He tried grasping some of the light energy in his hands but it fell through like water. It was like trying to grasp a cloud.

"I am the force," Synthor said, "Or what you might call a physical manifestation of the force. You have been taking risks, Jacen Solo. That is why you are here."

Jacen opened his mouth and stared at the Sytar who had just told Jacen that it was the force in physical form.

"Risks? I haven't done anything since Mykyr."

"Not consciously you haven't. You do not realize this yet, but the force responds to more than just the conscious mind. It also responds to the subconscious."

Jacen groaned. _Oh, brother. The next thing it's going to tell me is that I'm somehow channeling whatever's wrong with Tenel Ka into me. I have been thinking about that actually._

"You're not wrong about that, Jacen Solo." Synthor said, breaking Jacen's thoughts. He looked up sharply.

"I can hear all thoughts and feel all things that anyone else does in here and anywhere else," Synthor said, briefly responding to Jacen's questioning look, "You have been transferring the disease inhabiting Tenel Ka Djo into your own body, and you are doing it so quickly that your body may end up destroying itself because of that."

"So what are you saying?" Jacen asked, frowning.

"That the reason you ended up here is because you're that close to losing your life, Jacen Solo. One only comes to the void when their force presence is fading and the body holding it is almost dead."

"If I'm doing it subconsciously, how can I stop it?"

"You cannot."

Jacen's eyes bored into the Sytar. "What do you mean I can't?" Fear turned his stomach to butterflies.

"You used the force to transfer a disease meant to slowly weaken the victim, in this case, Tenel Ka, but instead of letting her fight it off, which she was perfectly capable of doing, your subconscious will transferred the entire disease into your body before it was even fully developed in Tenel Ka's."

Jacen slowly processed what Synthor, or rather the Force, had said. "So I'm just going to die?"

"Because you took the disease in bulk, it's much stronger; your body hadn't fully recognized until a moment ago that you had the disease. Now you're going to have to fight it."

"Gee, thanks for your help." Jacen muttered sarcastically. Synthor's eyebrows went up.

"I never said you would die, Jacen Solo. That is why I wanted to talk to you. Right now you have two choices as to how you can handle the situation: one, you can continue to fight the disease the way Tenel Ka has been fighting it. Or."

"Or?" Jacen elongated the word, expressing his impatience. Synthor continued with his tone completely neutral.

"You can transfer it back."

"What?" Jacen's eyes became fiery at that. "I wouldn't give it back to her!"

"Your Jedi doctor, Cilghal, may not realize this, but I know that the disease is not one that humans can handle. It is only lethal to humans." Synthor watched as Jacen's jaw set and his face became stony.

"You can attempt to fight it, or you can let Tenel Ka fight it off, as she probably will, just enough to give her a long life, not the longest but it will be enough for you two to live it in peace. But your body will not be able to take the strain of the disease." He paused to lock Jacen's eyes with his own, "Will you transfer it back?" Synthor scanned Jacen's face, as it had not changed other than to show the resolute and stubborn determination staring out of Jacen's brandy colored eyes.

"No." Jacen said firmly.

**A/N- Yup, I'm sorry, yet ANOTHER cliffie. You can go ahead and complain because I'm evil and like to keep my readers on their toes. But it's all in good fun. From those of you who have reviewed I can tell you aren't too mad about it. I am posting more this weekend for sure so you get less time to pull your hair out from cliffhanger anxiety. Please review and I will love you! (Well, I already love my readers for reading my stupid story but I'll love you even more!). ^_^**


	6. Walk On

**Chapter 5**

**Walk On**

What could possibly have been the most life changing moment of Anakin's life and most life changing place, was now in front of him. It was hard to decide what to feel or if Anakin did feel something, what exactly that feeling was. He stopped walking a moment through the damp ground to examine the very trees where the first blood of the mission was spilled. If he didn't count his and James' crash landing, the blood spilled in the trees where they camped was the place of the first deaths. Anakin placed a hand on one of the trees. He knew if they kept walking they'd find the body of the Sytar who died in the attack.

Anakin dropped his hand to his side, beginning to wonder if coming to Mykyr was a good idea.

"Anakin, I found the-" Tahiri came over to him then paused when she noticed his expression. "What's wrong?"

He looked at her. "I find it hard to believe that at the time I was standing here during the mission, I was desperately trying to keep something from you. From everyone."

"You already told me everything, Anakin," She stated then frowned, "Right?"

He sighed, his shoulders slumping a little as he stared up at the fog clouded sky. "Not everything. Tahiri, even before the mission started…." He began saying with his breath shaky and uncertain. Tahiri's green eyes scanned him as she reached out into the force to comfort him. He really had been trying to tell her everything that much she knew. Though Tahiri didn't know what Anakin could have been keeping from her this long that still had the power to make him afraid.

"Even before it started and before you came to Tatooine, I was already weak from the battle at the Yuuzhan Vong base. The staff that stabbed me that day was poisoned and even with the antidote the Sytars gave me, I was already beyond help. I didn't want to tell you that even if we both survived the Mykyr mission, with the poison still in my body I'd still end up dying."

"But you're not-right now you're not- are you?" Tahiri asked, her voice failing to say what she was thinking.

He smiled wryly, "No, not anymore." His grim expression made Tahiri stare blankly at him. "The void cured my poison wound. But that was part of the reason Zekk couldn't come back." He slammed a nearby tree with his fist and looked down at the ground. Tahiri couldn't even begin to find the words to say to him. He lifted his tear stained face to look at Tahiri, "I'm the worst kind of person."

Jacen's determination did not go unnoticed by the force, nor did his decision. The force had already experienced the stubbornness of one Solo and knew that arguing was fruitless. Still the force knew that it had to tell Jacen one thing before letting him return to the real world.

"You seem to already know that the return to the world of the living will not be an easy one and it is likely that you will not be there for long after you do go back. However, I do think I should tell you this: the payment of life does not go unnoticed by time. No good deed goes unpunished as the saying goes." The force smiled in the form of Synthor. "When you die, Jacen Solo, your life will not be a waste, after all life never is, or will be, a waste if you live it with full vigor."

Synthor then pressed his hand against Jacen's chest, sending a tremor through it, and then Jacen's scream shut all sights from his eyes for a few minutes before he opened his eyes to see the doctors crowding around him, checking his pulse and talking. They had shocked into being awake. Now the doctors, including Cilghal were filing out and the door to Jacen's room reopened to let in a distressed looking Jaina, Han, Leia, Lowie, and finally Tenel Ka.

He groaned.

"Jacen!" Jaina yelled as soon as the doctors stepped aside. She reached his bed, and in her desperation of wondering what to do, grabbed Jacen into a bone crushing hug. Jacen brought his IV free arm to embrace his sister back.

"Jaina…" He said. She stepped back.

"What the sith is wrong with you? Didn't I tell you not to pull another stunt like that again?"

Jacen grinned, "Sorry." Through the bond Jacen sent comfort that he was okay and Jaina felt it, then stepped aside to let their parents talk to Jacen before Tenel Ka came forward. Jaina started out, knowing that the two would probably want time alone. Han and Leia stopped on the way out.

"We're here if you need us, Jace." Jaina said. Han and Leia nodded in agreement then left, shutting the door behind them.

Tenel Ka regarded Jacen for a moment then spoke. "I know what you did, Jacen." Her voice was calm but Jacen could sense the anxiety behind it. "I could feel the disease leaving me and I knew it wasn't because of what Cilghal was doing. As soon as I heard you were here I reached out in the force and I confirmed that you'd somehow transferred what had been my burden to bear."

"Yours? Tenel Ka, that thing would have killed you!" Jacen replied a little more harshly than he wanted to.

"It would have left me enough time to live my life well, Jacen. But you are not able to handle a disease lethal only to humans."

"You're human." Jacen said coolly. She shook her head.

"No, I am not. I am part Dathomirian and I am Hapan. They are not standard humans. We are of an alien species that looks human, though we are as close to human anatomy as any, we are not." Tenel Ka looked at him, finally showing outwardly the anxiety Jacen had been sensing from her for the past few minutes. "Why did you not talk to me about this?"

"Because I didn't know I was transferring the disease until a few minutes ago." Jacen replied honestly. Tenel Ka paused, then nodded for him to continue. "I entered a place just now, a void, and the force was there in physical form. It told me I'd subconsciously transferred the disease and told me I could either transfer it back or keep it and deal with the consequences."

"You chose to keep the disease. Why?" Tenel Ka's eyes were concerned and harsh.

"Why do you think? I didn't want to give you any more pain and there was no way I was going to let you hurt because I didn't think I would be able to handle a stupid disease."

"It's not stupid, Jacen!" Tenel Ka's voice was almost at a yell now. Her lack of calm surprised Jacen into silence. "Look at this," She held out the test results. "Just now when you passed out, they tested your blood and this is what they found." Jacen took the results in his hand and began to scan them.

Each line said what the status of his vital organs as well as minor organs were, and each line had the results. All the organs were in terrible shape and infected, even Jacen's heart was written as being infected and was also pumping blood that could be contaminated as well. There were also a lot of results that were unknown because there wasn't much known about the disease itself. Jacen lifted his eyes to regard Tenel Ka. He rested his hand on her cheek.

"Hey, I'm not going to give up just because of what some test says." Though in the back of his mind, Jacen remembered what the force had said about his body being near death because his force presence had gone into the void. He shook aside the thought. "I promise you that I'll fight this."

Tenel Ka frowned at Jacen. "You are too optimistic. I do not think you realize still how seriously sick you are right now."

"And you're giving up too early. I know I don't plan to just let some disease kill me. Are you that ready to accept there's nothing we can do?" Jacen asked staring with his now sharp brandy eyes into Tenel Ka's granite.

"No, of course I am not-" Tenel Ka replied stiffly. Jacen smirked broadly.

"Good, then you can stop acting like I'm about to die." He kissed her and pulled back to look at Tenel Ka's reddened face. They hadn't ever kissed in public and Tenel Ka wasn't, from what Jacen could sense, too happy about it.

"Jacen!"

"You needed cheering up, what was I supposed to do?" He made an innocent face, smiling oblivious to her anger. Tenel Ka stood up and started for the door, still annoyed. "Tenel Ka." She turned.

"I'll see you at home." He grinned. Tenel Ka nodded.

"This is a fact." Tenel Ka said then closed the door behind her, leaving Jacen with a broad grin.

Jaina leaned back in her chair, it felt strange to be talking to Jag Fel outside of anything military, but after Anakin's suggestion she decided to call Jag, again not really understanding why she did so, and now was sitting in a low key café on Coruscant across from Jag Fel.

Jag had even come in casual dress. He had worn a loose cream colored tunic and pants and boots he never would have adorned if he was in Chiss space or anywhere near a military area. Yet here he was, sitting in the chair opposite Jaina's with a cup of coffee in his hand, sipping calmly and without any sign that he recognized how strange Jaina was acting. Or how strange he seemed to Jaina, at least until he raised an eyebrow at her.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you didn't want me to be here." Jag observed. Jaina shook her head.

"I'm just not used to us being together outside of the military." Or not arguing about something, Jaina added to herself.

"Do you want to argue?" He smiled mischieviously. Jaina scowled at him. For what seemed like the first time, Jag laughed in public.

"Forget it." Jaina muttered irritably, and took a sip of her coffee. Jag looked at her.

"Forgive me for prying, but I heard your brother is in the hospital, is he alright?" Jag asked, shifting a little uncomfortably. Jaina regarded Jag for a moment, and reached out in the force, and sensed the sincerity behind his question.

"Yeah, Jacen's sick, but he's tough, he'll be fine." Jaina said with a little exasperation and then a sigh. But he had scared her silly with the two times he fainted.

"Not unlike you, Jaina." Jag mused, though his expression was plain and revealed no sign of amusement.

"We Solos-"

"Are tough and you don't want to mess with us?" Jag finished. Jaina once again scowled at him. It seemed all he did was attempt to make her react, it bugged the hell out of Jaina and made her wish Jag would leave. But since she had asked him to meet her, for whatever crazy impulse or reason, she would stick it out. "I'm not unfamiliar with any of your family, Jaina. Your brothers are both tough."

"You've met Anakin and Jacen?" Jaina blurted before she could stop herself. She silently berated herself for acting surprised.

"Anakin I did meet, though not Jacen." Jag replied simply. "He was very protective of you."

"Anakin was?" She frowned, "Why?"

"Because I told him about our fight in which you punched me." He indicated to the part of his face that she'd punched so long ago. "He immediately knew it was my fault you punched me and when he heard the reason he told me never to talk about it again."

Jaina had to admire Anakin's courage in saying that to Jag Fel. He wasn't the most easily convincible person to back down or to scare. But apparently Anakin had done both. Jaina briefly wondered what Anakin had actually done and said specifically to convince Jag to leave Jaina alone. She could only guess what was going on in both her brothers' heads. They were always getting into trouble that involved risks beyond her toleration. Jaina was sure now that she'd probably die from the anxiety caused by them.

"If I'm the reason you're stressed out right now, I can leave." Jag said, regarding her subdued expression with concern. Jaina sighed and shook her head.

"It's not you, Jag. So stop offering to leave." Jaina replied once again with exasperation. Jag fell silent then stood up.

"I'm getting more coffee, would you like some?"

"Huh?" Jaina said, caught in the middle of her thoughts again. "I can get it myself." Jag shook his head.

"Allow me to treat you. It's the least I can do to make up for being a jerk." He offered, and this time Jaina gave in, albeit with much reluctance on the part of her conscience. It was screaming at her to just get up and get the coffee herself, and not let Jag do anything for her. After all, her mind argued, he didn't have the right to do it. Jag had been nothing but obnoxious during the war, and now he was trying to make up for it? Anakin had said Jag was a nice guy or that Anakin knew that she knew that Jag was a nice guy. Whatever that meant, Jaina had given in because of it. _When did making decisions become so damn complicated? _

"I'll be right back." Jag said and took her empty cup and his to the trash. Then he went to the counter and ordered two more coffees. As he made his way back with the drinks, Jaina was already preoccupied with a new set of thoughts and was looking out the window at the streets. They reminded her of where Zekk used to hang out. She hadn't thought about Zekk in a long time, and it was becoming less and less of a forbidden topic to think about. It was still painful, sure, but Jaina had stopped running from accepting that Zekk would never come back, that he was dead. There would be no resolve in their relationship, nothing she could talk to him about again, and no conclusion to the never ending confusion over the sudden loss.

Jag placed her coffee in front of her. "If you need to talk to someone about anything," Jag began, licking his lips nervously, "I may not be the best person to confide in, but I can listen."

"I'm just a stupid girl who can't get over death, Jag, there's nothing more to it." Jaina replied, turning around and focusing on her drink.

"I don't believe you're right about that." Jag said, his green eyes narrowing. Jaina raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah? What makes you so sure?" She wouldn't believe him no matter what he said, but she was curious as to what Jag's reason was. What made him so sure that she wasn't the lost girl who couldn't find what she wanted to do because someone important died, and she was stupid because her wallowing in her pain was pointless, and not to mention pathetic .

"Because every time I see or talk to you, you never give up or give in. You're stronger than your worst weakness." Jag stared hard at Jaina, and she sensed no lies in his statement. Once again he had been completely honest and also, though Jaina hated to admit it, right.

Jaina blinked a little, and then regained her composure. What he said had resonated and not only that it had been oddly poetic. _I really must be losing it_, Jaina thought to herself. "I'm not so sure I'm as strong as you think. No matter how far I go, I'm always living in the past." Jaina said, this time without any edge in her voice. The tone was now the most subdued and almost quiet that it had been since Jag had first arrived and begun talking with Jaina.

"I would not seek to erase anything of my past." Jag said, not really speaking directly to Jaina's response, and was speaking as though he were telling her this as advice to be interpreted as she wished to. "Nor do I wish to. Because it has been," He paused then looked down at the table, "And always will be a part of my life. Times have changed since then. I would not dare say I am anything like the person my siblings left when they died. But I am still here and I will continue to live even when others pass on." He took a drink of his coffee without looking directly at Jaina. She stared at Jag for a moment then nodded. Jaina wasn't sure why Jag had to be so right all the time, but he had more experience with death than Jaina did, and she took that to heart when she accepted his indirect advice. Maybe it was time she accepted her past and future together. Jaina lifted her eyes to look at Jag.

"Jag, will you come with me?" Jag said, "There's somewhere I think we should go."

Luke returned to the new apartment after having dealt with the repair crew and given them instructions for the other apartment's rebuilding. He sighed as he slumped onto the couch in the living room. Every day presented a new and more aggravating problem and now Luke was faced with an even more person issue. He wasn't sure he liked it. In fact he was sure he hated it, and that was what bothered Luke the most.

"You're brooding." Came the statement from Luke's right. He turned his head.

"Our son is missing and you're not brooding about it?" Luke asked, his tone lacking its usual calm. Mara scoffed at that.

"I'm aware that he's missing, Luke, but I'm not going to brood about it. I spent today trying to convince Fey'la that we weren't trying to pull something over the New Republic's head." She felt a sour taste in her mouth at the thought of Fey'la. He wasn't the most pleasant of creatures and Mara was sure she'd never grow to like the Bothan.

Luke's expression softened, "I'm sorry I lashed out at you, Mara."

"I'll live, Farm Boy." She said with a small smile. "There's nothing you've thrown at me that I haven't been able to handle."

He managed a small smile himself, but it was layered with the strain and stress that was weighing down on his shoulders. With Anakin gone off somewhere, Jacen in the hospital, and the galaxy going in a new direction that Luke couldn't quite fathom, he was sure that times were going to only grow harder and harder to handle. Soon the old Jedi wouldn't be the right choice to solve the galaxy's problems.

"You more rattled than usual." Mara observed. Luke glanced sideways at her. Nothing got past Mara. She was more tuned into her surroundings and into the force, possibly more than Luke was or ever would be. Luke knew very well that he wasn't getting any more connected to the force, if anything he was growing further away from his grasp on his force abilities. If she thought he was rattled, then Luke was probably irreversibly shaken to his core. In the past if Luke had been shaken or afraid, he'd bounce back, it was something that went with being ignorant of the galaxy's problems. If he stood tall now it was only because sheer willpower was keeping him standing.

"I am. Because I've finally figured out that the time of the Rebellion's heroes is past." He sighed, "I should have realized it earlier but I didn't."

"Luke, now you're just talking crazy," Mara said, coming over and kneeling next to him and taking his hands in hers. "There's always something we can do."

Luke felt a lump form in his throat. For the first time since the war began he felt his body becoming heavier with the pain that was now welling up in his eyes. He tried pushing it back and sucked in his breath. Mara gripped his hands tighter.

"You don't have to hide that from me, Luke." Mara then used the force to calm the tremors she felt in Luke's hands. "For every time that you've been there for everyone else, for me, for Leia, for Han, for Jacen, Jaina, Anakin, and all the students in the Academy, you deserve some time to be human." Luke then broke down completely. His normally calm and determined face was soaked and reddened. His bangs were out of place. Mara let him cry.

Even the strongest mountains that stood tall for many years, at one point crumbled and disintegrated at one point. Mara once again found the things that Palpatine told her in her lessons to be applicable in most situations. Not only that, those words were incredibly ironic. Palpatine's mountain had collapsed leaving Mara's husband was the person who had helped bring down the empire and the ruler she had served. Now that that many years had gone by, she no longer regretted it. Even her most regrettable deeds lead her to live the life she did now and to realize her mistakes. Luke now had to realize his.

Anakin sat silently at the small fire he and Tahiri had built and now eat his rations in silence. Tahiri couldn't figure out what to say to Anakin before, though the force knew she tried. Nothing came to mind to respond to such words as "I'm the worst kind of person." Or to his confession about his disease almost killing him and Zekk's final sacrifice being more than Tahiri had imagine it to be. It was all a lot to take in. But after a few hours of walking through Mykyr in silence she decided now was a good time as any to say something.

"Anakin, I know Zekk helped you to come back by giving up part of his force presence," She began, catching Anakin's sullen gaze from across the fire, "But that doesn't make you the worst kind of person. I don't know how else to tell you this, except to say that you're flawed but you bantha headedly believe that your whole life has been a mistake. I really hope that that's not all you think your life is." She stared at him with fiery green eyes. He gazed up at the sky.

"Do you remember what I had been treating you like when we were here last?" He turned his eyes to face Tahiri once more, "I wasn't doing it for your sake. I was being selfish. I didn't want you to know about the disease because it would just hurt more when I came back from the mission and died." He stoked the fire with a stick after placing his empty rations carton on the ground.

"No, you did it because you were trying to protect everyone on the mission, and there's nothing wrong with trying to protect yourself, Anakin. In fact I've been trying to convince you to stop hurting yourself this whole time. It's just plain stupid and it drives me crazy that the only time you feel right is when you're insulting your own intelligence by saying you're only able to mess things up." She scowled, "We've been over this, Anakin. But if you need a reminder, I'll ask you this: is everything we've seen and experienced together a mistake? Was it just a flaw that you and I met? Or that you were born to know the pain of others and that makes you more down to earth?"

"Tahiri, I don't think there's a destiny for any of us." Anakin said, his voice monotone. She threw her carton at his head. Anakin fell off the log he was sitting on, and got up, rubbing his head. It bled from the edge of the carton having cut him. Tahiri had been making her way over through all this, and crouched down to pull Anakin off the ground.

"It may not have been destiny that made us meet, Anakin. But it wasn't an accident or a coincidence." She went to get the med-pack and began to clean Anakin's forehead. He watched her for a moment.

"You've been obsessed with the idea of destiny since I first met you."

"Maybe it's because I don't view things pessimistically." She raised an eyebrow at him as she stuck a piece of gauze and bandage on his cut. He winced but grinned.

"I'm a pessimist, huh?" He smiled, "So what are you?"

"An optimist of course," Tahiri said with an incredulous tone. "What else fits there?"

"Oh, I don't know, a jawa?" Anakin pretended to contemplate then smirked at her.

"Anakin," Tahiri said with a groan.

"A hutt."

"What?" She stared at him. "That makes less sense than a jawa!"

"Okay then," He paused, looking intently at Tahiri, "A life partner?" Tahiri stared at him curiously and couldn't formulate words for a few seconds.

"Are you-?" She began. Anakin lowered himself so he was crouched next to Tahiri.

"Yeah, I am." He smiled at her. "You can think about it, I don't want to rush you."

Tahiri sighed. Anakin's timing was off. This was a weird place as any to propose. "You have horrible timing, you know that?" She said. He chuckled.

"I know. It's okay if you need time to think about or if you want to wait. I'll be right here when you're ready." Anakin kissed her forehead and then started over to the fire and poured water over it and pulled out his bedroll. Tahiri came over and Anakin looked up.

"When we get back," She said. Anakin looked at her. "That's when." Her eyes were resolute, even in the darkness Anakin could see that. He nodded silently. Tahiri smiled.

**A/N- Yay for fluff! This isn't a cliff hanger, but it's a fluffy ending. I hope that's just as good. Until the next chapter, adieu!! ^_^**


	7. From Here to There

**Chapter 6**

**From Here to There**

_A/N- Ah, I am sorry for not updating sooner, please, please, please, forgive me! I'm running two fan fic series right now and I've just broken through my writer's block on the other one- so I had to do something while my brain was still working! Anyways, you'll be well paid back with a chapter (and depending on how much energy I have) maybe two tonight. But there's this one to start and I'll be posting more tomorrow because I only have classes in the morning so I'll have the rest of the afternoon to brainstorm and post more chappies! _

_Oh, and this chapter has a special tidbit about an old friend. Read and find out! _

_I always look after my readers. It's in my fan fiction code of honor. _

_May the Force be With You!_

_-Don ^_^_

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James leaned against the metal plating of Kirk's ship. His gray eyes scanned the older Jedi with feigned interest as Kirk steered the ship through space.

"Remind me again why we're doing this?"

"Because you decided you wanted to help out with the galaxy's repairs, that's why." Kirk replied plainly.

"I meant why did I have to go with you and not some other Jedi." James had a hard time wanting to go with any Jedi period. Even if Tahiri had changed his view of some Jedi, he still despised Jedi in general. He grunted at the thought of her. Anakin was pretty much immortal as far as James was concerned and that ruined any chances he had of becoming even just friends with Tahiri. Those two were inseparable.

"Well, if you went with anyone else, you wouldn't get much out of this trip because we're doing work that requires force sensitivity." Kirk said, flicking a switch up to bring up a map of the galaxy. He glanced backwards to catch James' sour expression. With force Kirk could tell what James was thinking but the younger man's expression gave a lot more away than the force did.

"Hey, there are other fish in the sea, Kid." Kirk smirked, slapping James on the back. James stumbled forward a little, then caught his balance and threw Kirk a glare.

"Exactly what are we doing?" James asked, forcing a much needed, in his opinion, topic change.

"Investigating some rumors in Chiss space." Kirk replied in a light and care free tone. James arched an eyebrow. He knew as well as anyone that the Chiss weren't the friendliest of sorts and might, with their violent reputation, which included the famous Grand Admiral Thrawn, the Chiss could possibly rival the Yuuzhan Vong in ruthlessness. Not to mention both of their lack of emotion being uncannily close as well.

"Isn't that dangerous?" James asked sardonically.

"Extremely." Kirk replied cheerfully. What exactly was wrong with this guy? James thought. Kirk Dekim was certainly nothing like his teacher, Luke Skywalker, and it didn't seem like Kirk ever would be. They were polar opposites in every way possible. James could almost say he liked Kirk better because Luke Skywalker was too idealistic, but Kirk was like a loose cannon, blasting through any barriers and rules in his path.

How Kirk Dekim ever managed to become a Jedi Master James could only guess.

"So are we just going to go in there?" James asked, his interest suddenly peaked, this could be more interesting than the past seven months or so of sitting around were. James felt pathetic that his only friend, if he could call Tahiri that, was off doing something with her insane boyfriend. Yes, as far as James was concerned, Anakin Solo had long lost his sanity or never had any to begin with.

So much for high expectations of the guy, Luke Skywalker must have his head on backwards, Anakin was completely nuts. Anyone who couldn't see that must be crazy too, James thought. Things were getting really boring, so James wasn't about to complain about some action, although going into Chiss space was more like asking somebody to just kill you for no apparent reason. _Joy, _James thought. He couldn't seem to make himself happy since the day his parents died, and even then he wasn't happy. Something had always seemed extremely off about his relationship with his parents. He got along with them like anyone would, fought with them, hated them through the better of his teenage years, but never found a real connection to them. It was as though he didn't actually belong in the family he was born in. It was some probably some cosmic idea of a joke that James wasn't loved or loving towards the people who were supposed to be his family. Save for his sister. James had been close to his sister, but like his parents, she was dead.

Kirk flicked the com channel on as the Chiss officer of the main docking bay hailed Kirk's ship.

"Incoming shuttle, state your name, planet of origin and business in Chiss space." The officer rattled off the list without so much as a second breath or pause.

"I'm Kirk Dekim, where I was born is none of your business and you can go ahead and let Soontir know that I'm here." Kirk said coldly. James turned his head abruptly from his focus on the incoming planet. Kirk was slowly becoming more and more of a mystery, not that he wasn't already, but James couldn't help but wonder what kind of relationship Kirk had had with Baron Fel or what circumstances had allowed Kirk to call one of the most cold men in the universe by his first name without so much as a twinge of fear.

"One moment," The Officer said, and five minutes later the officer came back on the channel, "My apologies, Master Dekim, please land in docking bay one, Baron Fel will meet you there. Welcome to Chiss space, sir."

"Now _that_ was a surprise," James voiced to Kirk, "How'd you manage to be on the good side of Baron Fel, I thought he hated all Jedi and Republic people."

"I wasn't always a Jedi, and I ran around with some of Soontir and his friends while the guy was still young. Bunch of troublemakers, so I got right along with him and everyone else here in Chiss space," Kirk said with a touch of nostalgia as well as amusement. James found himself taking an extreme amount of interest in the last person, besides Anakin Solo or Luke Skywalker of course, that he wanted anything to do with. Maybe this trip wasn't going to be so bad.

They landed in the docking bay and the door to the ship slid open to reveal a garrison of Chiss soldiers in full battle gear standing there. It was bad.

The struggle between existence and death wasn't the problem for Zekk. He had almost been killed before and lived just fine. Possibly because his force strength kept him going even when he was ready to let himself die for his betrayal of his friends, the force kept him from doing so. That and Jaina's persistent care of him, it almost pissed Zekk off that no one would let him just pass on and leave his tainted and ruined life behind.

But now he wasn't alive or dead. He was stuck in a state of existent-non-existence. If that was even possible, but what else could it be? Zekk was still in existence, but he had no distinct form. He could only feel some of what was around him in the swirling energy place he was in. A void is what Synthor had called it. The force void was where things passed through from one life into the next, in a force cycle of reincarnation of energy from each force presence. Zekk had been here long enough to learn that much. He was used to just being nothing, no form, no body, and nobody in particular. The only thing keeping him from passing through the large abyss at the end of the swirling tunnel known as the void was Anakin's promise. So far nothing had happened and Anakin hadn't come back. To some extent Zekk was glad to not have seen Anakin come. Though a while ago he'd been shocked to see Jacen in the void, but without a solid form Zekk couldn't identify himself to Jacen. Besides, Jacen was too confused and weakened to listen at the moment.

Zekk could sense things, anything that touched or passed around the void he too could feel because he was one with the void for the most part. He was energy like the swirls around him. Zekk's attention went over to the far end of the tunnel as Synthor materialized into view. For some reason the force always took the form of the dead Sytar even though the actual being known as Synthor had already passed through the void. Zekk wasn't entirely sure why that was, but he decided the force was strange enough as it was and it could do whatever the sith it wanted because he wasn't too concerned about the force getting any more strange than it already was. Anyone who kept someone like Zekk had to be strange, if not crazy.

"Greetings, Zekk." Synthor's form said. Zekk would have rolled his eyes if he had them.

"I'm not as much Zekk as the next person, Synthor." Zekk replied.

"You've retained the ability to think and to be without actually being, is that not living as yourself?"

Zekk muttered something inaudible to himself, the force picked up the number of swear words and counted fifty two. "When are you going to stop saying that philosophical nonsense every time you materialize here?"

"I no more understand it than you do, Zekk." The force replied calmly but still sounded amused.

"Yeah, right, you're the force, you understand _everything._" Zekk said pointedly.

"Ah, now that is not true at all. There is one thing I will never understand." Synthor's face flickered with the energy that had just passed through it. Zekk didn't get the chance to look who had just died, because his focus was now on Synthor. "I will never understand how one so young as Anakin Solo was willing to give up the force presence he managed to get out of the void once. It is most perplexing and I have to wonder if he knows that he could have pulled you out of here without even sacrificing himself."

"He could?" Zekk knew Anakin was strong but that surprised Zekk.

"If he wanted to, yes, but I already told Anakin that someone else had promised their life force for your return." Synthor smiled at Zekk. "I am in no position to tell you who it is, same as I was not able to tell Anakin. It would undo the structure of this void, and that would not do anyone much good."

"So am I going back?" Zekk asked.

"At some point, yes," Synthor replied. "But you have no body right now."

"What do you mean 'right now'?" Zekk asked, his voice dropping low in his confusion. Synthor looked up at the energy circling the top of the void. He blew some of it with his breath and the energy formed the shape of a ship sailing on the high waters. Zekk watched this with amazement.

"I am sure you are well aware that it is impossible to regain a body that was already lost." The force said plainly. Zekk nodded. As much as it pained him to admit it, he couldn't, even if he wanted to, rebuild his own body since it had been crushed and then at his funeral, cremated.

"But you can rebuild a new body. Since your force presence is the same, only your appearance will be slightly different." The force looked at Zekk with stern eyes, "But you will not be the same person. You will be known to your friends as Zekk, but the real person known as Zekk is dead because the body is gone."

"I can't look like my old self even?"

"You can. But I am warning you that it will take longer to revive something that existed and was destroyed than building an entirely new appearance." The force scanned Zekk with Synthor's eyes. "The choice, however, is yours to make, not mine."

Zekk would have blinked if he had eyes, "Mine?"

"You could even decide to not return at all. After all, a new life is born often enough that one more life presence will not upset the balance." Synthor inclined its head, "The choice is yours, Zekk. I will not judge or try to convince you of any decision."

Zekk paused. He would have to wait longer if he wanted to go back to the world of the living in his normal form and even that form would have changed because he was older and because the old Zekk no longer existed, as the force said. Something about Zekk's force presence had changed while he was here, it was still his, and recognizable as Zekk's, but it was different.

"How long will rebuilding my body take if I decide to go back as myself?" Zekk asked. The force paused then nodded.

"Two years at least, I cannot say if it will take longer."

"What about the other way?"

"One month, perhaps two at most, but no longer." The force said, "Because it is a new form and not a reformed copy of a past body, it takes less time."

Zekk thought briefly about Jaina. She wouldn't know who he was if he came back in a new body and not only that, with a new body, he'd need a new identity. She would see him as Zekk, but it wouldn't feel right. Two years was a long time, but it seemed like nothing to the time he'd waited.

"Two years, huh? I'll bet she's found a new boyfriend by now. I hope she isn't waiting," He smiled grimly.

"If you go as a new body, you can return sooner, and start over in life. You won't be the same, but in two years, the world you return to won't be the same as the one you left. That includes the people."

"So she's already found someone," Zekk said wryly but not without some happiness. He wanted Jaina to be happy and move on. She didn't deserve to wait in pain for something Zekk wasn't even sure about receiving. There wasn't a guarantee that he'd succeed in rebuilding his body in two years.

"I'll wait two years, but I'll make up for the lost time." Zekk said more to himself than to Synthor. It nodded then turned its head.

"Very well, then."

Kirk stepped off the platform ignoring the blasters aimed at his head and James' who was following behind, his hand lingering on his own blaster. "Hey, Soontir, you better have a good excuse for this lame joke." Kirk called. There was a clanking noise and the metal door to the main hallway of the base opened. Baron Soontir Fel in his full uniform entered the docking bay with, to James' shock, a smile. Then Kirk turned to the soldiers "You too, guys, I knew it was you guys from the minute we landed."

"Not much escapes you these days. Must be your useless days a Jedi." Soontir Fel walked over to where the soldiers were standing and laughed. The soldiers removed their helmets. Kirk embraced the soldiers one by one, calling them by their names then went over to Baron Fel and hugged him too, they clapped each other's backs, and exchanged gruff greetings in the Chiss language.

James was completely dumbfounded, and that seemed to be happening a lot lately. Baron Fel then looked over at James, scanning him with cold red eyes. "Who is the boy? Make him known to me, Kirk."

"This is James," Kirk said, walking with Baron Fel over to where James stood rooted on the spot. "He's a newly discovered force user. But he's not a Jedi. He's a skilled fighter and a real troublemaker."

Baron Fel's eyes went over James again, and a flicker of interest and approval appeared for a moment. "He looks like trouble. Not too unlike my Jag." Baron Fel then turned to Kirk. "We have much to talk about, Kirk, how about we let the boy wander around the palace for a while?"

"You'd let him do that?" Kirk asked in a bemused tone, "It's your funeral, Soontir."

The Baron waved over one of the soldiers, "Harjin, show James around the palace and see that he gets comfortable. Nobody who's friends with Kirk should be treated badly." Baron Fel nodded his dismissal and James was off with the soldier who was around Baron Fel's age.

"So, Kirk, inform me of your current status," Baron Fel said as they walked down the hallway. James turned his head to hear their words but found that the soldier was walking too quickly for James to keep up and to listen in on Kirk's conversation with the Baron.

"Best not let the Baron see that you're eavesdropping, Kid." Harjin said, his stony voice cutting across the silent hallway. James turned. "You are as Kirk says, though, a troublemaker. I can see why Kirk brought you along."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" James asked coldly. Harjin laughed.

"If you want it to be, it was merely an observation." Harjin rounded a corner and they entered another part of the docking bay where there were lines of landspeeders sitting in perfect formation. Harjin climbed into the first one of the first row to the far right. James hopped in with ease, having more than enough experience with landspeeders or any form of transport for that matter. His parents were transporters and traders, that made James familiar with all kinds of vehicles. As that was the field James had originally intended to take up before the Yuuzhan Vong invaded, James took his lessons in piloting and driving seriously. But that was all over now.

The landspeeder sped along the neat and orderly streets of the Chiss city and after a short fifteen minute drive they were at a large building that James could only conclude was the palace, as it was the only more decorated building in the entire area, the only building with color on it for that matter. James leapt out of the speeder with his natural agility and landed squarely on the sidewalk. Harjin looked at James with silent approval. Clearly stealth and agility was something the Chiss had respect and appreciation for, even if it wasn't one of their own who had the ability.

Two guards opened the doors to the palace and Harjin said, "This way." He walked stiffly down the hallway and then began explaining what everything was along the way, telling James about some of the royal family's history, and some of the Chiss stories about their own military, to which James nodded in mild interest, though not too impolitely so as to not set off the Chiss soldier. James knew all too well that the Chiss had an immense amount of pride that was not to be challenged.

He stopped along with Harjin as the soldier pressed a button to a door and it whizzed open to reveal a small room with a small coffee bar and a number of tables. James wondered why such a room was in the palace. He wouldn't put it past any of the Chiss to be leisurely drinkers of coffee or tea, especially not Jagged Fel or Baron Fel. Those two were the strictest and most well known for their straight arrow attitudes and "strictly business" attitudes.

Harjin began to explain the uses for the room when he noticed someone was in the room other than the coffee bar's clerk. "Miss Wynessa, what are you doing here?"

A light haired girl with a round face and sharp brown gold eyes sat in one of the comfy armchairs of the café, and abruptly turned her head from the magazine she had been reading titled "Galaxy's Best Speed Ships," on the cover was a Chiss racer with a sleek design. The girl was dressed in loose coveralls and was slumped in the chair with a cup of tea between her legs.

"I live here, Harjin? Or did Dad change his mind about that?" The girl retorted, and stood up to come around, stopping at the nearest table to deposit her tea and magazine, and glare properly at Harjin.

"You know very well that Baron Fel will not be happy that you've skipped classes again today." Harjin said, trying to use a softer voice, but his military personality prevented him from coming close. Wynessa scowled at him.

"What so I can become a stiff and emotionless robot like my brother? No thanks." She rolled her eyes, and then finally noticed that James was standing there too.

"Oh, you decided to torture another tourist, Harjin?" She said with a shake of her head, then she turned to James, "You might want to visit another planet, this one's as boring as you can get." She said in a matter of fact tone to James, jerking her hand towards the palace and military base. James then remembered that the Fel family had one daughter by the name of Wynessa and she was three years younger than her older brother, Jag. She was probably around fifteen or sixteen now.

James' gray eyes arched along with his brow as he replied sardonically, "Believe me, Wynessa Fel, I am no stranger to boredom. This is the most fun I've had in months." He didn't smile and continued to look impassive. Wynessa took note of this.

"Huh, you're really different than everyone else then. I think this place is really boring."

"You don't say." James muttered. Wynessa scowled at James this time.

"Hey, I can hear you, you know?" She shook her head. "You boys think we can't hear you when you say stuff under your breath, but we can hear everything. Talk about conceited." She snorted. James raised an eyebrow. This girl was certainly nothing like the pampered little protected princess he imagined to come from the Fel family. She waved Harjin away.

"Get out of here, what my father doesn't know won't hurt him." Harjin cast one glance backwards at James then was gone. Wynessa then returned her gaze to James.

"Now that the annoying robot is gone, we can talk normally." She stuck out her hand and offered James a wayward smile that spoke of her confidence and adventurous nature. "I'm Wyn Fel. How about you?"

James decided she was better than no one to talk to. "James."

"Just James?" She cocked an eyebrow, "They don't give last names where you live?"

"I didn't like my family much." James said without any emotion or concern as to what he told this girl.

"Don't they care about that?" Wyn asked with a strange look. James could understand why someone who had been sheltered by her family all her life wouldn't get that disliking your family was an option. She also still had both her parents alive.

"It doesn't matter, they're dead anyways." James replied again with his crisp bluntness. Wyn gaped at him.

"Your parents are dead and you're not upset about it?" She shook her head. "Why not?"

"Like I said, I didn't get along with them, and I also had no feelings towards my parents whatsoever." James then turned to look around. "Is this all there is in this place?"

Wyn didn't buy his subject change for a second but decided to let him do it anyways. "Come on, I'll show you the best place in the city to hang out." Wyn grabbed James' hand and without waiting for an answer, she lead him at a fast walk towards the front door where she took him to a speederbike. James stared at it as she jumped on and tossed him a helmet and goggles while putting her own on.

"Come on, get on the bike." She said. James could not believe he was letting a sixteen year old girl lead him around a Chiss city on a speederbike. Things certainly were getting interesting, if not bizarre.

"That is a most tragic story, Kirk. I am truly sorry." Baron Fel said as he poured another drink for himself and Kirk, who shrugged then downed his drink. Baron Fel smiled.

"You still drink like a scoundrel." Baron Fel said as he poured another drink into Kirk's glass and placed the pitcher on the nearby glass table then sat in a leather chair opposite Kirk's seat in an easy chair.

"I never said I stopped being one. I just said that I got the status of Jedi Master." Kirk replied. "Now, I have a bone to pick with you, Soontir."

"Oh, what would you have to challenge me about?" Baron Fel asked with a small glitter of amusement at the idea of Kirk fighting him.

"I want to know exactly what your alliance with the Jedi is worth." Kirk said leaning forward.

**A/N- Until tomorrow, please review! Thanks! ^_^**

**Sorry, please ignore the information that was here before. I accidentally forgot to delete it when I posted the document**.


	8. Catalyst

**Chapter 7**

**Catalyst **

_A/N- Hey all! Sorry I didn't get to posting chapters over the weekend. It was parents' weekend at my college and you know how things get when your family comes to visit- no time to yourself (not that I didn't enjoy eating off campus for a change and seeing my parents), and you're tired when you get back. So pretty much I kept going out all day and I'd come back wiped out and I didn't get to my fan fiction because of it. I'm sorry!!_

_I'll be trying to get more chapters up in the next few days (no promises on the number though) and over the weekend. I've also got a long weekend coming up from the 16__th__ to the 19__th__, and I'll be home for that weekend. So I might get more posting time then too. _

_Woohooo!!_

_Please excuse my dear aunt sally (even though I don't have one),_

_-Don ^_^_

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"This," James said with an air of amusement as well as disbelief as he looked around the place that Wynnessa had brought him to, "Is the best place to hang out?"

She scowled at him, "Yeah, it is. You have some sort of ego problem, Jimmy?"

"It's James." He replied icily. He would never allow anyone call him Jimmy. Except for one person, and that person was dead. The dead were gone and James preferred to let things lay that had no place in his future. Dwelling on the past was something that James never did without good reason, and often that reason was to fuel his often angry or apathetic views towards life. He stepped forward and scanned the small room. It looked as though it was once some kind of factory. The machines were rusted and falling apart at their hinges and the floor looked like it had at least five layers of dust, dirt, and dried up oil all over it.

James had an easy time seeing why a mechanics junkie like Wyn Fel liked coming here. But the place gave James the creeps. He wasn't sure why because he'd spent time enough in factories when his parents were picking up goods to be traded and shipped to other planets. He walked through one of the narrow pathways between the machines and stopped instinctively at a door. With a small push it creaked open and James' breath caught in his mouth.

Wyn came up behind him, having heard his sharp intake of breath. "What's wrong, Jimmy-?" She froze, now realizing what he was looking at. All this time she'd come to hang around the factory and James couldn't believe she'd never bothered to look and see what the factory had been used for.

Gray eyes focused on the split glass tubes and wires suspended from the ceiling. It was clear what this place was: a former cloning factory.

Anakin shifted his bag onto his back and started to make his way around their campsite. He'd gotten up early enough that he could explore before Tahiri woke up. He knew she'd been worn out from all their travels and he wasn't about to let her suffer because of his impatience. He was only curious to look at the planet. Now that the war was over, he got the feeling he could see some things he wouldn't have before.

Anakin tread lightly across the ground, casting a wary glance to his right then to his left before his foot sunk into a damp puddle. He quickly backed up impulsively then cast a look down to find he'd sunk his foot into a puddle, but it wasn't a puddle of mud. The liquid was too dark to be anything but blood. But it wasn't a human's blood, that much Anakin could tell. He crouched down and reached into the puddle with his gloved hand, rubbing the liquid between two fingers. It was thick and smelled. Yuuzhan Vong blood maybe? Anakin wasn't sure. It wasn't a good first sign. Blood was always a sign for bad things about to occur. Anakin was pretty sure he didn't like having to run into yet another situation where he'd have to kick the force out of an enemy or what was the more likely option, Anakin getting the force kicked out of him.

He sensed moved movement then drew his blaster faster than he'd ever felt himself draw his lightsaber.

"Ah. Peace to you as well, young warrior," Anakin's eyes narrowed on the speaker who was approaching from the woods on Anakin's right. Anakin didn't lower his blaster. In fact, Anakin's instincts were screaming at him to shoot this stranger right away. The only thing keeping him from doing so was his better judgment against shooting someone he'd never met. Though if it were his father, Anakin knew Han Solo would shoot first and ask questions later. It was a motto that was generally a good solution if you wanted to get into trouble and that was exactly what Han Solo wanted every time he took a step outside his front door. Although with Leia there, Han hadn't gotten too much action time aside from the odd jobs assigned to him by the New Republic.

"I'm not about to negotiate anything with you," Anakin said coldly, his blue eyes flaring.

"Oh, but I'm not here to negotiate. You see, I have the upper hand." The stranger then stepped into the open, revealing a man, or what used to be a man. His face was badly scarred and looked as though it had been beaten into being unrecognizable and he had unusual markings along his neck and face. Anakin's eyes widened then narrowed. He'd seen those markings before. They were the same ones that Tahiri had.

"Ah, so you noticed my dementation, have you? Not the best of appearances to greet other people with. I imagine you would not trust me. But I figured that I could get your attention with this," The stranger drew from his thick brown cloak a lightsaber. Anakin frowned then realization struck him.

"You're one of the prisoners of that village we raided." Anakin's grip tightened on his blaster. He wasn't sure whether to expect vehemence or gratitude so he figured it was better to not do anything.

"I'm sure you'll understand then if I tell you that you must come with me," He gestured into the forest, "Or your friend might never wake up."

Anakin's eyes narrowed further, as far as they were go and his brow furrowed as fiery fury danced in his eyes, "You touch her and I'll make sure you wake in the void."

The man's eyebrows went up with bemusement, "So you've seen the void as well? Then I will not have to explain very much to you. You see, I, like many others here on Mykyr, are members of a society."

"A what?" Anakin's anger turned to curiosity, though he still wanted to shoot this man, Anakin was sure that wasn't such a good idea until he got his facts straight.

"If you'll come with me, I'll explain things further, but you must come with me now, and do so without alerting your partner."

"You think I'm stupid?" Anakin shot at the man, "Leaving her here would only give you the leverage you need."

"Make no mistake, young warrior," The man said carefully, "I have no intention of forcing you to do anything. I merely wish to show you something that you protected inadvertently when you attacked this village."

Anakin watched as the figure walked over and then pressed the lightsaber into Anakin's free hand. Anakin looked at the handle and then clicked it on. A red blade flashed out and cast the darkened jungle in a red light.

"Sith." Anakin said with bitterness in his voice. He scowled at the man who was now standing with his hands folded behind his back as two more people came out, also with tattered cloaks and scarred faces.

"Allow me to introduce myself, I am Jesse Veila," He called the lightsaber back into his hand, "And I am the last of the Veila line." His smug expression stared at Anakin, who suddenly comprehended what the man was saying. This man, whoever he was, was somehow related to Tahiri and there was no doubt as to what they wanted Anakin to do.

"No," Anakin's eyes glinted, "I don't care who you say you are, but Tahiri is a Jedi."

"Can you really deny her what is her heritage?" Jesse asked. "I have heard a lot about you, Anakin Solo. That is why I thought you would understand who we are, and what we are about."

"You're sith, what else is there to know?" Anakin demanded, his insides suddenly boiling and a spark of flame leapt from his fingers and lit a pile of roots on fire. Anakin hardly noticed as his attention was on Jesse.

"Ah, naturally you wouldn't trust us, would you? After all, what proof is there that we are even related to Tahiri? Her parents are dead, no?" Jesse chuckled and said a few words in a strange language to his companions who laughed and stared with interest at Anakin. "Allow me to prove it to you, Anakin, from one Fallen Jedi to another."

Anakin's eyes went from one cloaked warrior to another. "Fallen Jedi?"

"Outcasts, renegades, exiles from the New Republic, whatever you want to call us, our ways were not that of the new Jedi Order or the Old Order. We used both light and dark force tactics. So it is no surprise that we were forgotten, oh, yes, wiped off the records and left to die on Mykyr. As you can see, we were among the first to find that the Yuuzhan Vong were not pleasant to Jedi, even ones who had been cast out of the Order."

Anakin paused, and lowered his blaster slightly, readying his force fire just in case any of them tried something funny.

"All I'm asking of you," Jesse continued, "Is that you think about joining us. We know you do not fit in with the other order, and that if your ability," He gestured with his head at the flames licking away at the roots, "Is discovered, you will be exiled."

"What does this have to do with Tahiri?" Anakin asked.

"Surely you don't expect to just abandon her when you leave?"

"You make it sound like I've got no choice." Anakin said, his gaze never leaving the lightsaber.

"You don't, really. It's just a matter of time. It could be a few years, a few days, a month, but soon your Order's patience will waver and their fear of you will force them to cast you out," Jesse looked sadly over at Tahiri, "Think of how broken Tahiri would be if you do not take her with you."

"What do you know of that?" Anakin asked, not bothering once again to tamper the flames leaping from his hands. This time flames caused the blaster he was holding to spark then explode, sending Anakin flying. The two cloaked figures jumped nimbly through the trees and hauled Anakin to his feet. One of them held his hand over Anakin's severely burned hand and a blue flame glowed. Anakin gazed at the man in wonder. Unlike Jesse, who was dark haired and had somewhat more tanned skin, narrow eyes, and fierce brown eyes, this man was blonde haired and had green eyes like Tahiri's.

"Hold still," He said, and in seconds the skin on Anakin's hand was healed. Anakin stared at the man.

"I'm Tyrus," The man stuck out a thick huge hand with layered muscles visible from inside his cloak sleeves."

"You're using force fire to heal?" Anakin asked, stunned. Jesse came over and stood next to Tyrus, who was kneeling to be at Anakin's height. The man was a giant, at seven feet he could pound anyone with just his feet.

"Tyrus, myself, and Korener," Jesse gestured to the man still standing at a distance, "Are the few that are left of the runaway members of the fallen Veila clan. Tahiri's parents were force users as well, at least they had the ability to be, but they didn't want to engage in dangerous activity or anything Jedi related. For many years, their side of the family avoided their talents. Now Tahiri had found her path as a Jedi and has found another force fire user," Jesse grinned, "Who is not a Veila."

Anakin's eyes went wide again, "You mean nobody outside of the Veila clan could use force fire?"

"No, that is why we were the ones banished, not anyone else. It was considered a dark technique and we were forbidden to use it."

"Why weren't there any-?" Anakin then stopped himself, remembering what Jesse had said about the Veila family records having been destroyed. Nobody knew. That's why Uncle Luke had been surprised to see me use force fire, he didn't know, and all the records about it were destroyed. Instead Anakin decided on saying, "The records of your family, they were destroyed, weren't they?"

"Yes, all of them were obliterated. We could do nothing to stop it. To the other Veilas, us active Jedi were dead. Now you came here. No doubt you felt something." Jesse lifted his hand and a blue flame shot out to douse the flames on the roots. Anakin looked at Jesse.

"Unlike you, our flames only have healing capabilities. It is fueled by different emotions and can recreate," Jesse looked over in the direction Tahiri was, "I would really like to talk to my sister."

Anakin blinked. He had to be joking. Tahiri's parents only had one kid, right? Just Tahiri. "You're lying, she can't be your sister. Tahiri's an only child."

"Is that what they told you?" Jesse asked, his voice suddenly cold.

"I never met her parents." Anakin said.

"What do you mean you never met them?" Jesse asked. "How did you meet her then?"

"She was found by my Uncle, Luke Skywalker on Tatooine while she was being raised by Tusken Raiders. They were the tribe that killed Tahiri's parents."

Jesse's face, if it had been harsh before, certainly became tightly stern, "You're telling the truth, I can sense it. No wonder she was here with you, she was alone all this time."

"Not completely," Anakin said, straightening, "She was adopted by another family and my family is as close to her surrogate family as any. I'd never leave her either."

Jesse smiled at Anakin, a genuine expression that Anakin, in the short time he'd been talking with the man, had never thought he'd see. "For being with my sister, even if she is adopted now, I thank you, Anakin Solo."

Anakin felt himself going a little red from embarrassment, "Um, you're welcome," He quickly changed the subject to hide his discomfort, "How are you two related anyway?"

Jesse looked curiously at Anakin, "Surely you know, our parents went and-"

"No, not that," Anakin made a face, was this guy seriously going to explain to Anakin in detail about sex? Anakin decided to avoid thinking about that, "I meant how did you get separated if you two are siblings."

"Oh, very simply actually," Jesse said with a wry smile, "You see, we look nothing alike, neither my parents, nor Tahiri bear any resemblance to myself. I look like none of them. When I was born, the outcast members were fed up with having no more heirs to carry on the Veila line, so the night we were born,"

"We?" Anakin was finding this a little ridiculous. First this strange man was telling him that he was Tahiri's brother and then he was saying they were long lost twins. Anakin felt like this was out of some weird story. It was too bizarre and improbable to be true. Though, he reminded himself, his mother, Leia, and her brother, Luke, never knew they were siblings until Luke figured it out later on. Still, this was stretching things a bit.

"Oh yes, Tahiri and I are fraternal twins. I look a bit more like our grandfather, but we are brother and sister without a doubt. The night we were born, Tahiri's father went out for a while to grab some food and the birth happened while he was out. My mother passed out, and while she was sleeping, two of the fallen Jedi of the Veila line here came and took the first baby they could see."

"Meaning you," Anakin filled in, still not believing it. "How did you find this out if you were just a baby and the only witnesses were either a baby or," Then Anakin nearly smacked himself for not realizing it before. "They told you? After all that, they told you that they kidnapped you? Why didn't you go back?"

Jesse laughed, "You think after all the trouble they went to in order to kidnap me, Anakin, they'd let me just waltz off again?" He looked thoroughly embittered about the whole thing, "I wanted to see my sister. But as I discovered later, the doctors, not wanting to hurt the parents, said I had died during the night. Of course, neither of my parents wanted to see the body of a child they'd never get to see grow up. So I was supposedly a buried secret. Though they probably knew what had really happened, I was gone to them." Jesse's glare in the direction of the village told Anakin that the old members were probably dead.

"The Yuuzhan Vong killed the rest of the Veila family, didn't they." Anakin stated. Jesse nodded.

"You have good intuition, but it's not hard to figure out. Good riddance too. Those of us who are left are more than glad to start fresh. I had been meaning to go find Tahiri for a while, but when I saw your Jedi attack, I knew I'd found her. I saw Tahiri. I felt it was her through the force."

"Then why didn't she know you through the force?" Anakin asked, his skepticism picking up again.

"Oh, easily enough. When you don't recognize a force presence, namely one you've never known existed in the first place, it's easy to not notice it in a sea of other presences. I noticed she was focusing on your presence in particular," He raised an eyebrow. "I wanted to ask you, without my sister here, what's the nature of your relationship?"

Anakin forced himself to not get blush again though he felt his insides twisting. Was this man for real? He wanted to butt into his long lost sister's love life? Boy, when Tahiri found out, she would never speak to him again, period. She hated it when people butted into her life. Even Anakin wasn't allowed to tell her or even suggest to her what she should do. Not without a fight at least.

"Why in the name of Jabba the Hutt, would I tell you what my relationship with Tahiri is?" Anakin asked crossly. Jesse cocked an eyebrow.

"Don't make me force you to tell me, Anakin."

"Tell him what, Anakin?" A low and annoyed voice asked. Anakin's gut wrenched. Tahiri was standing with her arms folded across her chest and looking thoroughly pissed off. "I sleep a little late and find you talking to some random guy about our personal life?" She muttered something in the Sand People's tongue, "When are you going to be responsible for a change, huh?" She stepped over and smacked Anakin over the head.

"Hey, what was that for? I was telling him I wasn't going to tell him anything?"

"Oh, besides what you've already said? You might as well have told him that they can just shoot you right here because we're alone and nobody knows where we are!"

Anakin stared at her as Tyrus, Jesse, and Korener exchanged glances. "Uh, Tahiri?"

She snapped around to glare at Anakin, "What?" She then smacked herself on the head, "I told them, didn't I?" She didn't wait for answer and drew her blaster. "Well, we might as well get this over with."

Anakin's mind whirled, "Wait, Tahiri, these guys aren't enemies."

"How can you be so sure?" She asked, taking a look at each one of the cloaked men in turn. "Maybe they're all lying, did you ever think of that?"

"I did actually." Anakin replied defensively.

"Well, that's a good start." She said with a roll of her eyes. "Now they can just kill us while we're arguing!"

"Hang on, since when was this _my_ fault? I'm not the one who started this!" Anakin bit back when both his head and Tahiri's snapped around to look at Jesse who was laughing loudly at their antics.

"I can assure you, Tahiri, the moment you use your senses, everything will become clear." Jesse looked at her with gentle brown eyes. Tahiri looked over at Anakin for his opinion for a change, then when he nodded and gave her confidence through the force, she reached out towards Jesse, and suddenly felt a warm bond flooding into every nerve of her mind and body. She stared at him.

"No way, that's not possible."

"I assure you," Jesse said with a sad voice, "That it is."

James nearly staggered out of the room, and into Wyn who was standing right behind him. "This can't be," He knew Thrawn had been the Admiral of the Empire's fleet, but James never would have put it past the Chiss to have a cloning facility. This more than anything made James' face become pale with each passing second. This factory sent shivers up and down James' spine. He couldn't say why, but it seemed to be giving him immense headaches. With the heaviness pressing down on him and odors blocking the oxygen to his brain, James staggered out of the door, not hearing Wyn as she called his name. Then he slumped over, his vision blacked over with flashes of the facility cluttering his mind.

**A/N- Sorry, a bit of typical Star Wars stuff there, and I'm sorry for making this incredibly dumb, but this is an important piece of the next series "Jedi Mastery" that I'm writing. So you'll at least see later on why this made sense. Until then, please don't flame me for doing something so stereotypical! ^_^ Please? **

**As always, reviews are welcome! **


	9. What Makes Us Human

**Chapter 8**

**What Makes Us Human**

The fire crackled brightly and reflected in Jesse's brown eyes as they sat in the small building that had once served as a slave quarters for the Yuuzhan Vong prisoners. The small group of Veila clan survivors had done a good job burning off the coral and rebuilding it into a small cave-like structure.

"I like the feel of the outdoors, no point in shutting it out," Jesse said and handed Anakin a bowl of soup from the pot hanging in the center of the fire. _He notices everything going around him_, Anakin observed. _Not too unlike Tahiri's sense of observation_, Anakin added as an afterthought. It had taken all of Anakin's energy to convince Tahiri to at least hear Jesse out. Despite Anakin's own reservations about the man, he had to admit that the lack of lies Anakin sensed in the force and the fact that Jesse's story held water. It made sense why Tahiri's parents were so isolated. They didn't want to associate with the rest of the clan after Jesse was kidnapped, so they moved to the most desolate place in the galaxy, Tatooine.

"I want you to tell me everything," Tahiri had said upon agreeing to hear Jesse out. "No holding back anything about the family or what they did." She then gave Anakin a warning glance, "And if you so much as try anything, I'm not holding back." Not that Anakin planned to let anything happen. He was just as wary as Tahiri was, maybe even more so. Tahiri seemed more curious than anything else.

"Well, there's the story I told you earlier, how I was kidnapped and you were raised as an only child. Then there was the banishment of the clan. We were supposed to be erased completely," He grinned wryly, "Killed to be more accurate. But at the last minute the Republic changed its mind. They let us slip into non-existence and wiped us from every record in the entire galaxy. All of our methods, our teachings, our research, all of it was obliterated so that only we knew who we were and lived in infamy for it."

Anakin grimaced at that. Instead of being killing them, the Republic had done the next worst thing: pretended they didn't exist.

"Then why didn't you just come out again when the New Republic was formed?" Tahiri asked. Anakin glanced at her, but Tahiri wasn't paying attention to him.

"I thought that was obvious, they didn't know we existed, those who did have long forgotten. But that meant coming into the open with powers like force fire would make things," He smiled with clear pain, "Tense. We didn't want to make things harder on the New Republic than they already were. Then the Yuuzhan Vong invaded and well, that threw any chance of coming into the open. Though I imagine the time will come soon enough. Right, Anakin?" He suddenly turned to look in Anakin's direction, and he met Jesse's gaze evenly and without falter, though Anakin's expression was one of grim acceptance, unlike Jesse's which was one of simple interest.

"What's he talking about, Anakin?" Tahiri asked, looking from Anakin to Jesse. Anakin looked at Tahiri. He didn't want to tell her that he was considering what he knew was Jesse's intention from the start. Anakin knew the reason why Jesse had revealed himself now to Anakin and Tahiri of all times, and why Jesse had decided to show Anakin their similar force fire abilities.

"They want us to train with them." Anakin said simply but not without a small look of apprehension.

"What?" Tahiri stared at Anakin. "Train? What would make you want to train with…?" She trailed off as she thought about it. Anakin and Jesse both had the force fire ability and without proper training, Anakin wouldn't be able to control his. But if he continued, he'd get kicked out of the order.

"Anakin, you can't, we're in the order still, even if they don't like it, they won't remove you completely." Tahiri argued.

"They can and will, Tahiri, I'm not saying you have to come with us now. But we're moving off of Mykyr as soon as the New Republic loses its grip and it will." Jesse replied with resolution, he turned to Anakin, "And when it does, will you be with us?"

"I don't know." Anakin's voice was monotone. Tahiri stared at him for a few minutes then spoke.

"Anakin, that's betrayal, and you know it."

"I've already decided to use force fire, Tahiri. Don't you think that already marked me as a traitor?" Anakin demanded, his voice losing its calm.

"You're not a traitor, Anakin. You're using a different method but you're not a traitor." Tahiri argued. Jesse laughed hollowly.

"That's what our clan argued but the New Republic won't listen now any more than it did back then." Jesse refilled his soup bowl and took a few bites. Then his attention refocused on Anakin and Tahiri who were looking at him with a mix of wonder and tension.

"I won't force you to make a choice, Anakin. Because that's not what I want to do and it'd just make things worse. But I do want you to know that we're not in small numbers, numbers that could be the difference between a good Jedi Order and a bad one," Jesse spooned more bites into his mouth then placed the bowl on the ground. "The choice isn't just yours either, so I'll understand if you don't want to go with us, Tahiri." Jesse smiled at her. Tahiri could feel a little more of the sibling bond now that they'd been next to each other for most of the night, but she still didn't trust Jesse's intentions any more than she trusted those of a Yuuzhan Vong warrior. Jesse stood up and began to walk inside the building, before doing so he paused.

"In the morning, we'll leave you the coordinates for our next base and if you decide to come, meet us there. May the force be with you both." Then Jesse was gone inside.

Tahiri turned to Anakin who was furrowing his brow. "Do you want to go with them?"

He lifted his head, "Tahiri…"

"No, tell me, Anakin. Do you?" She continued to look him in the eyes, but gently so because she knew how much Anakin wanted to consider this as a possibility because of his fears of the Order exiling him.

"I want to think about it," He answered honestly. Tahiri nodded.

"Then we will." Tahiri affirmed with a nod, her green eyes flickered in the firelight.

"Tahiri, you don't have to." Anakin argued.

"Don't tell me that bantha dung, Anakin. We're not about to throw away our relationship over a stupid Jedi outcast group. So we'll think it out and whatever we do, it's something we'll do together," Tahiri stated and Anakin knew better to argue even if he thought she was making a huge mistake saying she'd follow Anakin if he decided to train with Jesse. "Besides," She continued, sensing his misgivings, "I'm a Veila, what if I can use force fire too?"

"You don't want to." Anakin's voice almost seemed grimly wistful. Tahiri took from his tone that he wasn't too happy about his force fire being the reason they were even having this conversation.

Tahiri looked at Anakin carefully. He was obviously trying to protect her from feeling the same kind of anguish he'd been going through because of his new force power. But it was still the same kind of power that Tahiri might have. The question really was did she want to develop the power when Anakin clearly knew the consequences. _But since when did I care about consequences?_ Tahiri questioned herself. It was a valid one, although irrelevant since Tahiri had already made up her mind.

"Listen, Anakin. Nothing we've been through has been a fine cruise through hyperspace. But we did it anyways. Not because it's fun, but because that's just what it means to be a force user, Jedi or not," She smiled at him, "It's always been worth the while to just try and see where we come out."

"Have you lost your mind?" Anakin blurted.

"Have you lost your sense of adventure?" Tahiri asked with a raised eyebrow. Her green eyes remained soft and she continued to grin at him. Anakin blinked at her. Tahiri jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow.

"There's a difference between adventure and masochism."

"Says the guy who burned his own arm to kill the leader of the Yuuzhan Vong," Tahiri rolled her eyes.

"I had a good reason." Anakin said testily.

"I do too," Tahiri gave him a challenging glare. She sighed, "This is going nowhere."

"Got that right," Anakin said with a good humored grin. Tahiri chuckled.

"So what now?" Tahiri asked, leaning back on her hands.

"We just see what happens, I guess." Anakin replied with a glance at Tahiri.

"It's a good solution as any." Tahiri agreed with a small sigh. He smiled at her.

"Hey, we'll figure it out." Anakin leaned back so he was level with Tahiri. For a few minutes they just sat there, staring up at the sky. Stars glistened on the black and blue hues and one shot through in an arc.

"Wish for something?" Tahiri asked. Anakin didn't look at her and his tone was one of calmly simple enjoyment.

"Yeah," He said, smiling to himself. He didn't plan to tell Tahiri what he'd wished for. Despite how logical Anakin was, he still believed that wishes only came true if you didn't say them to the people or things involved in the wish. Maybe Anakin also felt that he could do something about his wish on his own.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" She asked. He grinned, turning his head to face her.

"Nope," He leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"Is that some kind of consolation for you not telling me because if it is," Tahiri gave him a short glare to warn Anakin of her initial plans to make his life miserable.

"And if it was?" He smirked, completely unperturbed by her threat. Sometimes Anakin wondered why Tahiri had the effect on him that caused Anakin to pick fights he'd normally avoid. It was part of the strange back forth he and Tahiri had had since they were young students at the Academy. Tahiri had always brought out the more aggressive and forward part of Anakin. A part that Anakin never even knew existed until then. Where the force was concerned, Anakin could tell a lot of things about Tahiri, but in the end, some things he didn't need a guide to figure out. Some things you just know without having to try.

"Is he okay?"

"He'll be fine. Mind telling me why you were at the factory in the city?"

"Actually, I do, Harjin."

James opened his eyes to look up at Harjin and Wynn's faces hovering over his. James shifted slightly and then immediately regretted it as his head felt extremely sore and throbbed violently.

"Is this going to be a pattern, because if it is, I'm not sure I want to hang out with you anymore." Wynn said with a frown. James grunted and sat up.

"You don't have to. I don't hang out anyway." James replied and pushed himself to his feet and started walking away from the two people who were standing at the factory entrance with confused expressions. Wynn ran to catch up with him.

"Hey, hang on a second. You pass out and now you're just going to leave?" Wynn demanded. He turned his head to look at her though his body was still postured to keep walking.

"Yes. Is there a problem with that?" James asked in an impassive tone.

Wynn scowled more deeply, "Yeah, I got a big problem with you suddenly walking off when you haven't explained anything as to why you fainted."

James smirked at that, "You think _I_ know why I fainted? You've got some delusions, Kid."

"Don't call me _kid_ and yes, I do think you know exactly why you fainted," Wynn snapped. James continued to be nonplussed about her anger.

"You've got some learning to do about this world, Wynessa Fel, because not everyone wants to talk about their past. Especially not to a little girl," James' eyes then flared, "Besides, if I knew that something would go wrong in the factory or if you'd said where we were going, I might have backed out. Did that ever occur to you?"

Wynn looked slightly taken aback for a second but a moment later she was roiled up again, "What's with the insults, huh? Didn't you ever learn to talk to people in a civil way?"

"Ha, civil? Nobody talks civilly unless they want to die. It's be tough or get blasted by lasers in this galaxy and that will never change. So I suggest you get used to being treated like dirty, because it'll keep happening until you kick it or someone else does because of you." James then spun on his heel and stared down the street.

James fumed for a second before something grabbed his sleeve. James whipped out his blaster and found himself pointing it at Wynn's face. His face remained cold and unfeeling as he held the blaster close to her forehead.

"Is that what you do to all your friends, James? Shoot them?" Wynn asked without flinching at the touch of the cold metal against her skin.

He didn't lower his blaster, "I don't have any friends." Then he returned his blaster to his holster and walked to where Harjin was waiting with the shuttle he'd taken. James climbed inside without another word to either of his companions and concentrated on the floor. Wynn took the seat next to his.

As the shuttle started away, Wynn continued to look at James with a soft as well as hard gaze. It was difficult to tell what she was thinking, and James didn't care for the most part what she thought. After all, this mission was a one-time deal. James would eventually go back to Yavin Four or Coruscant and do something new or maybe even go off on his own. James wasn't sure what he wanted to do. Or if there were that many options for a former member of the Peace Brigade as well as an orphan with no name to boot.

When James was a younger boy, he'd never thought too much about where he'd go in life. His career, his heritage, all of that was decided when he was born. He'd follow his parents into the life of a shipper and never ask questions about the cargo. It was all laid out. Before his parents died, James never would have thought to try to escape his set life. Maybe because James didn't know at the time how much he hated being a cargo shipper and trader. Nothing about that job interested him in the least. So why now of all times did he think things would be any different? All that had changed were the people who were telling him what to do with his time and his skill-set.

Except Kirk, who had told James that he could choose whether or not to pursue his path as a force user. Kirk never told James he had to become a Jedi or even use the force period. Kirk had left James alone after offering him the choice of becoming a student.

"If it makes any difference," Wynn said, breaking James' train of thought, "I don't have any either." James turned his head and regarded Wynn with his gray eyes.

"Don't get me wrong, Wynn," James said, "I don't hate or like you. I just don't have the direction right now to care much for anyone."

Wynn shrugged, "Who has direction period? And why should that matter?"

James laughed hollowly. She obviously hadn't been out in the galaxy much if she didn't know that wandering aimlessly unless you were a Jedi or a fugitive wasn't the smartest idea and even then being either of those two things wasn't particularly safe either.

"Naiveté won't get you anywhere, Wynn. If I were anyone else, you'd be dead today."

"But I'm not, "She pointed out gently, "Why?" She looked James in the eye and he averted his gaze slightly before returning hers. James didn't feel like having this conversation with Wynn, it wasn't on his agenda to open up, let alone make friends with this girl.

"Because of dumb luck," He replied. "My blaster had the safety switch on." James then gazed out the window at the pale gray buildings that shot by as they cruised down the streets of the Chiss city.

"Come on, you expect me to believe that?" Wynn said, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't expect you to do anything except leave me alone." James answered shortly and shot her a quick glare.

"Not going to happen, Buster. Why didn't you shoot me?" She asked again. James turned around completely.

"Cold blooded killing here won't do me any good. It'd only cause problems to clean up. You're not worth the ammo or the time," James' blunt answer silenced Wynn and any further thoughts she had about James' intentions. There was definitely something about James that made Wynn think he was at least a person with a heart, but he never bothered to use it if he had one to begin with.

Not only had Wynn been shocked by James' pulling the blaster on her, she'd actually put it past him to pull the trigger. He seemed like the experienced type who would shoot anyone who so much as caused him to pause for a second thought. James was definitely the soldier type. Like Harjin, James' words were sparse and to the point. James also never spent time worrying about the conditions of his own health and would probably, based on the most recent experience she'd seen him in, keep fighting until he bled to death or fell unconscious. He was also outwardly neutral about all situations. The only emotion Wynn could get a feel for was James' anger, and there was a lot of it to go around.

"That's it, huh? You're all work and no play?" Wynn frowned and folded her arms across her chest.

"I do what I need to get by. I don't have time to think about whom I meet," James had returned his attention to watching the cityscape. They were almost at the palace once more. He really wanted to get back on the ship and leave Chiss space. Everything here unnerved and destabilized James. He hated the city and its dreariness, and most of all, he hated the people. He didn't think the stiff and militaristic attitudes were all that effective. James found that these Chiss gave off an air of confidence that didn't always come through in reality. It was almost funny how their strength didn't match their reputation.

"And no one can make you care?" James was almost amused that the girl was still asking him endless questions.

"I'm self centered, Wynn. All I care about is getting my job done here and leaving. The moment this shuttle lands, I'm going to find Kirk and we're going to leave. There's nothing more to be had between a Chiss girl and an orphan from the other side of the galaxy. We're natural enemies and I'm not about to change that." James hadn't forgotten that the Chiss had been the first to back out of the resistance against the Yuuzhan Vong who attacked his home planet. James wasn't going to forget that, not now and most likely, not for the rest of his life.

"Self centered? Please," Wynn grunted, again making James wonder if she noticed how strange she sounded, "You haven't met either of my brothers. Now _they're _self centered."

James turned his head to glance back at Wynn then returned his gaze to the window. His reflection stared back at him with Wynn in the background. No matter where he moved, she'd still be there and he wouldn't put it past to her to not try to stowaway when he left with Kirk. People did strange things when they were curious about a certain person. The shuttle stopped and James walked out without another word to Wynn who tried to follow James but Harjin finally put his foot down.

"We're going to talk to your father about your lessons, Miss, let's go." Harjin steered Wynn away as she looked after the fading back of James. It stood tall but seemed weighted somehow, like his shoulders couldn't hold up his own head. Well, Wynn wasn't crafty for nothing; she knew how to ditch Harjin or any of the soldiers her father sent to watch her. It would just require a little time to think and already Wynn had formulated a plan.

**A/N- Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review! ^_^**


	10. Bound By Will

**Chapter 9**

**Bound by Will**

_A/N- Hey All! Sorry for the late update, I thought I'd get to this sooner but you know how it weekends are, you think you've got a long time to do stuff but then it ends up being shorter because you keep putting things off? Yup, pretty much the story of this weekend, ha, ha. Well, you'll get a good long chapter here and the next one (which is already mostly written) will be even longer. So get ready for some great story stuff! (Sorry my adjectives are bunk today)._

_**JediBettyBug- I'm glad you like it. I really enjoy writing Tahiri's past as she's definitely one of the more ignored characters of NJO and isn't really developed in LOTF. Force fire is an idea I just made up on the spot, but the more I write with it, the more I like it. Oh, I'm so glad that you didn't see the whole past thing coming, and that it's going well, I was iffy on creating Jesse Veila because I thought it'd be trite. Yay! ^_^**_

_Please enjoy and as always, I appreciate the feedback and reviews!_

_-Don ^_^_

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It was colder than hoth on Mykyr. Anakin was sure that it was because of the lack of sun, because the sun itself was not close to the planet, and because they were so far down in the jungle that even if there was a source of heat, they were the furthest from it. He stood up and moved from his bedroll. Out of habit, Anakin hadn't been able to sleep at night. It was the same on the Mykyr mission. He'd slept, if one could call lying with one eye open and scanning the surroundings sleeping. Anakin walked out and stood just outside the campsite. His head didn't even turn as someone approached from behind, silent as a wraith. Anakin already sensed Jesse's presence.

"You truly have confidence if you left your back open to me." Jesse observed, leveling with Anakin who still didn't look over at Jesse.

"You won't kill me. I'm your only tie to Tahiri." Anakin replied flatly. Jesse glanced back then refocused on Anakin.

"Is that the only reason?" Jesse said without much concern in his voice, "Don't you think I have any morals?"

"If you do, they can and will change at the drop of a hat because you have no obligations to anyone but yourself." Anakin's sheer bluntness took Jesse briefly by surprise then he recollected himself enough to respond.

"You don't credit people much for anything, do you?" Jesse said, though he wasn't really asking Anakin the question. It was more of a statement of fact.

"That's because the majority of the people I've met are immoral and their sanity has taken a permanent leave of absence." Anakin's cool blue eyes now fixed on Jesse.

"Oh, and you think I'm one of those people?" Jesse questioned dubiously. Anakin's eyes never left Jesse's mutilated face.

"No. I know you're one of those people because you threatened to kill Tahiri."

"It wasn't a serious threat, I wouldn't ever try that." Jesse pointed out with a scowl. He couldn't believe that Anakin was actually taking the threat seriously. Jesse was sure he'd made good on his story to prove that he'd never harm Tahiri or Anakin for that matter.

"The fact that you'd even joke about that proves you don't have a good idea what it means to care about someone." Anakin answered curtly. Jesse's mouth twitched and he smiled wryly at Anakin.

"I suppose you think I don't know how to love someone because I spent my entire life as an outcast with renegades and sith as my surrogate parents?" Jesse's jaw tightened as he glared at Anakin, who didn't flinch. Anakin's eyes continued to sharpen and harden the longer the two stared each other down.

"Yeah, unless you can prove otherwise," Anakin stated, though as unwilling as he was to not let Jesse prove himself, Anakin wanted, for Tahiri's sake, to let Jesse explain more of the Veila family's history.

"Our grandfather, the one I look like, was a sith by the name of Syrigus. He wasn't what many would consider a traditional sith, which is why he was dubbed a 'Fallen Jedi' and not a sith by those in the Republic," Jesse cleared his throat, his Adam's apple shifting as he continued with what was clearly, by the feelings Anakin gathered in the force, and disconcerting subject. "He used force fire to heal people and was cruel beyond belief when he needed to be. That was what called the Republic's attention to him. After the killing of twenty innocents as well as two Jedi Knights and a Master by Syrigus' hands, he was called before the Jedi Council to testify. His only response to the accusations was, 'they were weak, and I gave them a choice: to be strong and end the lives that weren't going to aid the Republic, or to die along with them. They resisted.

"You can imagine their faces when the council heard this. They immediately got permission from the New Republic to enforce an exile on Syrigus and anyone else who uses similar methods. Of course, all related to Syrigus were eventually exiled as well and soon the Veila name was wiped from the records just short of the years when the Empire was taking over. After that, everyone forgot about the Veila clan." Jesse grimaced, "Tahiri wouldn't be happy to know that her family is tainted by the blood of murderers."

"I can't not tell her, Jesse and even if I didn't, she'd find out on her own," Anakin replied coolly. Jesse sighed.

"You have to understand, Anakin, the truth will keep her from returning to us, to her family."

"Then maybe she's better off without you, but I won't lie or keep things from her," Anakin's voice became icy and almost angry. Jesse looked into Anakin's eyes.

"You have a lot of anger in your passion, it's a wonder that no one has noticed it before." Jesse said, though not without some irritation. "But even we control our emotions to a certain extent, we just don't discern between light and dark force power since force fire requires the use of both kinds of emotions."

"Then I think I'm fine." Anakin's answer cut off any last thoughts or words Jesse was about to say.

"Don't get me wrong, Anakin, I admire what you're doing for Tahiri, but did you ever ask her what she wants?" Jesse questioned. It was a genuinely honest question and wasn't asked with any layers of motive. Jesse was merely curious. Anakin remained silent for a moment. He knew that if he asked Tahiri, she'd probably say she wanted to know what happened to her family and that meant returning to Jesse to hear the rest of the story. Including the parts of the tale where the Yuuzhan Vong killed the remainder of the Veila clan save for the few who were now with Jesse.

Anakin turned around and started back to the campsite. "Anakin," He paused and turned his head to look at Jesse.

"We're all there is left of her biological family, don't deny her something you've always had for yourself." Jesse said, then he was gone inside the building, leaving Anakin to spend the rest of the hours of the early morning on his own. The temperature continued to go down and Anakin felt that there was no need to attempt to sleep because he knew it wouldn't come now any more than it did before he'd spoken to Jesse.

Whoever invented the phrase "I'm sorry," was an idiot, because no one in their right mind who wanted to sincerely apologize for something would actually say "I'm sorry. This was something that Jag found himself struggling with as he stood with Jaina in the cemetery before the grave of who Jag could only guess was Jaina's previous boyfriend.

What could he, Jag, possibly say that could help to heal something that wasn't meant to go away? Pain never did. Jag knew that well enough, so why was it that he couldn't find something intelligent to say now? Jag stood silently behind Jaina as she laid down flowers on the grass.

"May the force be with you, Zekk," She muttered then stood up without turning to face Jag she said, "He was a loyal person. Not everyone knew that because of a mistake he made. Even if no one knows that he was a true friend at the end, I'll tell anyone that he was. It's not fair that the last memories we have of someone have to be negative, right?" She turned around to look at Jag now. He nodded solemnly.

"He must have been a good person if you trust him as much as you do." Jag managed to say clearly and articulately. Jaina glanced behind her.

"If my word was good enough to erase all the things he did, I would talk all the time."

"Maybe you don't need to," Jag said, finally finding out what he wanted to tell Jaina in the clutter that was his mind. Jag knew he had never been one for words or for expressing what was important because Jag never stopped to figure out what that was. "Look." Jag gestured to the other flowers that had been placed a few inches in front of Jaina's.

Jaina's eyes went wide then softened. She knew who had probably been here. "Yeah," She then wiped her face with her sleeve. Jag watched this with stiffness in his entire body. Having lost his siblings a long time ago, Jag knew that the pain never quite evaporated because every time Jag looked at their pictures or visited their graves, he always felt hurt. No matter how many years went by, Jag knew he'd never be able to get over the fact that his siblings were a part of his life and no matter how much they teased him or made fun of him, Jag always felt emptiness in the place where his siblings used to be.

But saying that right now seemed to be the most insensitive option of all the actions or words Jag could choose. "Let's take a walk." Jag said instead. Jaina followed Jag as they made their way through the trees surrounding the cemetery then came out onto the path. Jaina was still sniffing a little but mostly from the cold now.

_Boy_, she thought to herself, _this isn't exactly the ideal place to be right now. It's never been this cold and I can't believe I didn't check the weather report. Not that it would help how clunky things have been going between Jag and I_.

"Can I ask you something?" Jaina said aloud. Jag turned his head as they approached the next curve in the small path that went around the entire cemetery.

"Yes," He replied shortly, not in a harsh way. Jaina didn't take it in a bad way since she could sense his apprehension at her question. Mostly people who asked if they could ask a question were about to ask something that was either extremely personal or extremely risky in terms of its rudeness or it could be considered interrogative.

"Why did you save my life?" Her brandy eyes narrowed a little as she concentrated on the fact that Jag's eyelashes had snowflakes on them. It was weird, no, beyond weird, Jag actually looked like a normal guy in his thick jacket and white collared shirt that was unbuttoned and lopsided.

"You're the commander aren't you?" Jag asked plainly. Jaina nodded.

"So?"

Jag continued, "So you should understand what it means when the leader is killed. No mission is ever completed without a leader. I was doing my job by ensuring that you lived."

"That's bull, Jag and you know it." Jaina replied. Jag's green eyes went wide for a second. "You didn't have to ensure anything because we were already fighting on the ground, on our own, the squad was done for. I'd called a retreat, Jag. Don't tell me that you had to ensure the mission, because it was already finished."

Jag shook his head, "Not for me it wasn't. I don't give up even after the commander calls a retreat. That's how Chiss fight."

"So basically you fight like an insane idiot?" Jaina gave him a quizzical look then smiled wryly. Jag sighed, his breath visible in the air.

"You could say that. But I prefer dedicated, to insane." Jag corrected and stiffened his shoulders against the air.

"Aren't they the same thing?" Jaina grinned at him.

"Very funny," Jag commented sardonically. Jaina laughed.

"You misunderstood, Jag. I wasn't joking." Jaina then walked ahead of Jag and stopped before another grave just around the bend. She brushed the snow off the cold slab embedded in the ground.

The name inscribed was: ANAKIN SKYWALKER, father, son, and husband. Then his birthday and death date.

"A man of great power and of cruelty," Jaina said, "I never understood how my uncle forgave his father for everything he'd done. It almost seems too naïve."

"Perhaps in the same way you forgave Zekk, Master Skywalker forgave his own father for what he did." Jag offered, causing Jaina to look at him curiously. It was an astute observation, not to mention accurate.

"He's not actually buried here. None of the Jedi are. Our ashes are all collected in the Jedi Temple memorial on Yavin 4." Jaina said. "All that's here is a stone with my grandfather's name on it."

"What about your grandmother?" Jag asked frowning a little as he thought about it.

"No one actually knew who she was. Not even my mother knew," Jaina brushed off her knees then rose.

"Despite all that the galaxy knows about your family, nobody knows who Anakin Skywalker's wife was?"

"I'm sure someone does. But no one in my family has had the time to look, we're all preoccupied with the present," Jaina then thought of Anakin. _Except for Anakin, he's always had his eyes on the past more than the present_.

"How about you?" Jag said. Jaina looked at him.

"How about me what?"

"Do you want to know who your grandmother was?" Jag asked gently.

Jaina shrugged, "It's not going to kill me if I don't know. But it couldn't hurt either." Jaina then moved away from the grave. She paused and looked down. To her surprise there was a single flower on the side of the grave that Jaina had overlooked before. Of all the flowers, it happened to be a rose.

"That's strange." Jaina said, walking back over to look at the flower. She picked it up. "Who would leave a rose on Anakin Skywalker's grave?" Jaina turned to glance back a Jag, who shook his head.

"Someone who still thinks he's worth considering as a person." Jag replied honestly. Jaina put the rose down and walked away.

"I'll admit this does have me curious. I didn't think anyone but my uncle still thought Anakin Skywalker was a human with heart at some point in his life. Even my mother thought he'd been long gone at the end of his life. So why now?" Jaina voiced all these thoughts aloud, not really expecting much of a response from Jag, who in turn offered none.

They started down the small gravel path that led to the exit of the cemetery. Jag thought about her question even though she probably didn't expect an answer from him, if anything, she was just voicing aloud the question that was on Jag's mind as well. All the same he said, "I don't know. Your grandfather was a person who knew a lot of people by the time he died. Who knows who of all those people would still remember Anakin Skywalker without thinking about Darth Vader at the same time," Jag looked at Jaina who was listening intently to his words but still furrowing and widening her brow while mulling it over.

"If someone did think he was human, why didn't they say something? Force knows how few people can actually look on my grandfather with a positive eye," Jaina asked. Jag shifted his shoulders.

"Well, if everyone thinks that Anakin Skywalker died long before Darth Vader came about, why would the person want to mention it? It seems to me that anyone who mentions Anakin Skywalker before he became Darth Vader gets silenced because no one wants to even consider that Anakin Skywalker was a normal person with a mother and a life before he threw it away."

Jaina fell silent as she thought this over. It was true that Anakin Skywalker had a past that so few people knew about, and those that did never mentioned it. Even Jaina's uncle, Luke Skywalker, one of Vader's own children, didn't talk much about his father, though Jaina knew as well as anyone that her uncle thought constantly about his father because at the end of his life, Darth Vader had once more become the kind hearted man that Darth Vader once was.

It was hard to believe that Anakin Solo, whose namesake was that of his grandfather as well as Jaina's, had overcome a barrier that would stay with him every time someone mentioned Anakin Skywalker or Darth Vader. Or even if someone said his name, Anakin Solo would feel cold dread that he'd become his grandfather some day. Jaina only just found out how long her younger brother had kept his fears bottled up only to have the end result was his attempt to run away.

It was a wonder when things became so complicated. In the past all Jaina could think about was the next project she was going to work on building out of spare machine parts. Or the next lesson at the Academy on Yavin 4. When she was a young Jedi knight that was what she knew was reality. But now she knew better than to think that was everything the galaxy was about, because it wasn't. If anything, that was the furthest from the truth. She and Jacen had long forgotten how simple things were. A day where the only goal was to complete the building of their first lightsaber or to have an adventure where there were risks, but nobody died. There were times when Jaina thought she'd wake up and the galaxy would still be that way. That she'd wake up and Zekk, Chewie, and Valin Horn would still be alive. Of course, that was naïve because Jaina knew Zekk was dead, Chewie was dead, and Valin was dead. None of them were coming back and she had to accept that. The Academy wasn't the safe haven it used to be and no one seemed to know how to rebuild a galaxy that distrusted itself and its inhabitants.

It wasn't as simple as destroying the empire or fighting the Diversity Alliance. In both cases, there was a good side and a bad side. At this point, Jaina was afraid to draw her lightsaber for fear of hurting the wrong person.

"Jaina?" She blinked and started for a second. Jag had stopped walking and was giving her a worried look.

"What? Oh, sorry, Jag," Jaina shook her thoughts from her mind. Right now her own world was so screwed up. Anakin had gone off on his own, Jacen was sick and possibly fatally so, her parents were dealing with the crumbling pieces of the New Republic, and her Uncle and Aunt were trying to find Jaina's cousin who had been kidnapped. "What were you saying?"

"I was asking if you planned to go back to your parents' apartment," Jag said, still fixing Jaina with his green eyes but not commenting on how spaced out she was.

"Yeah, I was, why?" Jaina had reoriented herself by now and the usual edge was back in her voice. Jag paused, giving her a long look, his green eyes softened to the point where Jaina was sure she could see depth in them.

"Why do you want to hide every feeling you have?" He asked, "I would think that even you would have realized by now that no matter how strong of a Jedi you are, you can't keep all your emotions bottled up," Jag stiffened, "I've never understood Jedi."

Jaina frowned, "Why's that? You can't imagine how we can be more compassionate than Chiss soldiers?"

Jag smiled sadly, "No. Exactly the opposite of that," He noted Jaina's expression of confusion and how purely gentle her eyes were when they lowered their hardened walls. It was the most pleasant thing Jag had seen in a long time. Even if her eyes were full of confusion, it was still something Jag appreciated, although he doubted Jaina would like it if he said so. "I've never understood how in the old days of the Knights of the Republic, Jedi gave up marriage, emotions, and dedicated themselves entirely to serving the Jedi Order and the Republic. If anything, Anakin Skywalker changed that black and white view of things for the better."

Jaina laughed. "You should say that to my uncle, he'd be happy to hear someone compliment his father that way."

"Aren't you happy to hear it?" Jag asked with a smile still on his face. "I would think you could enjoy it as well. If I wanted to say that to your uncle, I would have."

Jaina stared at Jag, once again perplexed. Everything Jag did seemed to confuse Jaina, something that she wasn't exactly used to. Jaina had gotten adjusted to being confident and collected, but Jag threw her completely off balance. "What's that supposed to mean?" She asked suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing," Jag replied as he kept walking, not bothering to look around at Jaina. She quickened her pace to level with him, and left it at that. She at least knew by now when Jag didn't want to explain something, he wouldn't explain it no matter what. If there was something Jaina knew about stubborn people, it was that they never gave up.

The wind brushed lightly against Jacen's forehead, pushing the bangs from his face in little tufts, then they swaying with the slow but steady whistling that soothed his mind more than any form of Jedi meditation would. He took a deep breath all the same and felt the cool air on his throat. It was nice to be out of the stuffy hospital. It was a wonder that they let him go home at all, seeing as his tests for a cure were still underway. But Jacen didn't pay it much mind. He knew as well as anyone that there wasn't any cure for what he had. The reason being, no one knew what was wrong with him. Except Tenel Ka, she seemed more aware of the disease than the doctors were of the consequences.

Her general displeasure with his decision to not give back the disease in the void, didn't go unnoticed by Jacen. He couldn't exactly blame her either. After all, if she'd done the same thing, he'd be upset too. It was a lose-lose situation. No matter who ended up being sick, both of them would be unhappy. Which, Jacen and Tenel Ka were, both of them didn't know what to say to each other because every time they spoke it was like acknowledging that they were fighting a losing battle. That every word they spoke could be the last ones. Jacen could feel his strength ebbing with each day and even though it would be years before he would be at risk of being killed by the disease, there were other factors he had to worry about. One of them being that the disease functioned like mononucleosis because it caused both physical pain as well as internal pain from the weakened immune system. Only unlike mono, this disease was permanent.

A cough seized Jacen's insides and he cringed, trying not to let it affect what was a peaceful moment outside for him. _If wishes were fishes_, Jacen thought. Another cough racked his body and he grimaced and used the force to numb the pain. But as usual, it only did so much to keep the rawness of his throat. He almost jumped when a hand touched his arm.

"Jacen, you know you should not be out here," Tenel Ka said with a small frown. Though Jacen could sense she wasn't angry. Concerned, yes, but not angry.

"I'm fine, Tenel Ka," He replied with a faint smile, "Really." She sighed and then grabbed his arm, pulling him off balance. Jacen stumbled then regained his balance. Tenel Ka paused while he righted himself then continued to lead him inside.

"You do not have to put on a tough front for me, Jacen," Tenel Ka said finally as they reached their bedroom. She turned around, wrapping her arms around his neck. "If you are going to take on the disease that was mine, then we shall do it together. But you need to trust me."

Jacen's eyes went wide then he narrowed them, but gently so as he ran his hand along Tenel Ka's cheek. "I've always trusted you, Tenel Ka," He pushed back the pain mounting in his legs so he could stand for a few more minutes, "But I sometimes wonder if I've screwed up too many times for you to trust me."

Tenel Ka flicked her braid behind her head, "Jacen," Her granite eyes narrowed, "You may be foolish, but that does not mean I question your trust."

"What about the time when I accidentally cut your arm off?" His mouth curled into a grimace.

"I pushed you too hard, Jacen. That was my fault," Tenel Ka replied sternly. Jacen remained unconvinced.

"You went back home afterwards, so I wondered if it was because you didn't trust me anymore," Jacen said.

"This," She said with a sigh, "Is not a fact. I went home because I needed to recollect myself. It had nothing to do with you."

Jacen tried hiding his hurt at the comment by turning his head to the side and using the force to put a barrier around his emotions but to no avail. She was already gazing at him with concern and puzzlement. He stepped away from Tenel Ka.

"You don't get it, Tenel Ka," He said, "With you, I never," He bit his lip and found to his disappointment that he was losing control of his emotions. "I never thought anything that involved you hurting was any different from me hurting. I was stupid. I never stopped to think about whether or not it was my business why you went back. All I knew was that I thought it was my fault and that I had to be with you on Hapes," Jacen clenched his fists to keep them from shaking. He wasn't sure why he was getting so worked up over this, but all the same here he was, standing in front of his best friend since he was fourteen and his life partner, losing his face. "I didn't want to lose you as a friend, no matter what that took."

Tenel Ka grasped his hands in hers and hugged him. Just like that, Jacen lost it completely. Tears leaked from his eyes and no matter how hard he squeezed his eyes shut, Jacen couldn't stop them from coming.

"I know." Tenel Ka said and for some reason Jacen's smile returned.

Mara landed lightly on the roof, her brown Jedi robe billowing around her as she stood up, surveying the cityscape. So far tracking the kidnappers by herself had proven fruitful. More so than depending on the New Republic to reorganize itself enough to take action on its own. Mara was more than happy that she hadn't told Luke what she was doing. Aside from leaving Ben with Han and Leia and telling them she'd be gone for a while, Mara disclosed nothing about her mission objective. Though Mara guessed Leia probably felt the lie somewhere in Mara's words as she spoke. But since Leia said nothing, not that it would have dissuaded Mara, because she was going to go through with her plan no matter what.

Mara had taken a ship to the first place she felt a connection to. Even though Kyle was young and his force presence wasn't as strong as Luke's or Leia's, or any of the Solo or Skywalker lines for that matter, Mara knew her son's presence. It wasn't something one forgot after being in labor for nine months. She scanned with the force then jumped nimbly to the ground, pivoted soundlessly and then entered the first building she came across with the strongest feel of Kyle in it. Mara entered and crossed the metal walkway which served as the maintenance workers' area. This was factory of some sort. Though of what, Mara wasn't in the least bit interested.

The crosswalk made a clinking noise and Mara turned abruptly to look into the cool golden brown eyes hidden beneath the dark hood of a robe. Without another word, the folds of the robe were cast back and a snap hiss signaled that the person, whoever it was, wasn't going to talk to Mara. A crimson glow held just below the hooded figure's face illuminated for a second the young face under the hood.

She smiled and ignited her own blade. Mara had faced many young opponents, having been young herself when Emperor Palpatine took her under his wing. Mara wasn't about to let her new opponent be the reason she lost the trail to her son again. She struck out first, thinking to catch the unguarded side of the lightsaber.

Mara brought her blade down when another one ignited in front of hers, this time, the color of a fiery sunset.

**A/N- I love listening to "Duel of the Fates," it's such a great song, especially when you're writing action scenes for SW fan fics. Please review! Thanks! ^_^**


	11. The Blood We Pay

**The Blood We Pay**

**Chapter 10**

_A/N- Hey Everyone! Long time no post, right? It's all my fault, so you can hit me later. _

_Anyways, I'm trying to keep up with three different series right now and it's hard to do that and my school work (which at times is procrastinated in the process, but shhhh! Don't tell my teachers that!). Not that you can since none of you know who I am really (outside of the site anyways)._

**JediBettyBug- **Thinking, huh? I'm glad my stories are somewhat stimulating. Ha, ha. Just kidding. Which bit? The Anakin Skywalker bit can be interesting but so can the J/J insinuations. Those weren't exactly by accident, but I won't say any more than that. =)

_Okay, so I'm thinking about all my stories in balance. But for the most part I'm trying to get "Remember" and "Life's Song" off the ground completely so they can just write themselves (which is what happens when the stories are going well for me, they just flow naturally). _

_Until then postings might be a bit off and really random (I know I'm usually very patterned about my postings but right now the first term of college is about to end so I'm still sorting out final papers and all that evil stuff). _

_Oh! Oh! Yeah! Before I forget, I'm sorry if the Anakin Solo/Anakin Skywalker stuff gets uber confusing (because it is, since the two have the same name) but I'm trying my hardest not to get them mixed up. If there's anything that doesn't make sense (pronoun mix up between the two Anakins or that kind of thing) please tell me, otherwise I won't know. I do reread my work but I'm only human and I do miss occasional mistakes here and there. _

_Also, I have off Tuesday on account of Plan Day at my college (where all the upper classmen-meaning everyone but myself and the other freshman) make a sort of "thesis" type thing for the rest of their years at the college. It's in place of a core curriculum ( and you can decide what classes you want to take and all that fun stuff. It's all based around your plan/thesis thingie (I know, very descriptive of me, right?). I don't have to do that, so I have all day Tuesday to give the lovely gift of fan fiction to all of you (because I love my readers and I love writing fan fiction). _

_I hope everyone is enjoy the story! Please review, I know there are more readers out there, so if you're reading, I'd appreciate feedback! (After all I am procrastinating a paper so I can post this for you guys). Oh, and if you get the chance, please vote in the story poll at the top of my profile page (it lets me know what fan fics I should update soon- it may not seem important because I'm good at updating pretty often, but I do value your opinions and sometimes I'm not aware of whether or not I'm updating often enough). _

_Thanks,_

_-Don ^_^ _

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What most people consider isn't exactly what they want. It's never about what one wants, or needs. In most cases, Jaina Solo realized, it was about what one didn't want. Or what one didn't need at one time or another. Right now was, well, to say the least, a moment where Jaina knew exactly what she didn't want, and not what she did want. One was considerably easier to make up one's mind about than the other.

The other of course, being Jag Fel. Yes, Jag Fel. Jaina couldn't believe that a few months ago she would never had even thought twice about Jag Fel on any level, friend or otherwise. _Now that the slick son of a sith_, Jaina thought to herself, _is under my skin, I can't push him away. No matter how hard I try, I can't make up any excuses. He won't listen._

Was Zekk any different? _Well, not exactly, he might have taken a hit occasionally but for the most part… _No, he wouldn't have listened. He would have gone right ahead with anything he'd planned for the start. Which was funny, seeing as Zekk never planned, period. _Zekk._

That was the problem, really. Zekk was constantly on Jaina's mind in the beginning after he died, but then it just became a sore subject for her to even think about, not so much taboo as painful. Admitting that he wasn't coming back, pulling an Anakin and returning from whatever place people went when they went to the force, it wasn't going to happen. Jaina was now more or less convinced that Zekk had simply left her unhappily confused on purpose. It was like him to do that to her. After all, ever since they'd met, Zekk was always doing mysterious things and disappearing to random places then reappearing days, weeks, and sometimes months later. The same thing happened with the Shadow Academy. Zekk had been her friend as well as Jacen's, Tenel Ka, and Lowie's, and then he suddenly vanished without a trace only to emerge as the Darkest Knight of the Second Imperium.

Over and over Zekk had told her he didn't deserve her or to be forgiven. He wouldn't forgive himself long enough to listen to anything Jaina had to say. When he finally did, it was right before they had to leave on the mission to Mykyr, the mission that would end up taking Zekk's life. Maybe it was the force's doing that caused Jaina so much indecisiveness.

Zekk was gone. Zekk was gone and Jaina couldn't do a thing about it. He was gone where she couldn't chase after him in a Solo style rescue and then bring him back to where he belonged. _And he belongs here, alive. _

Does he? _Of course he does! _Maybe death was kinder. _Death isn't kind, it's just easy. _Zekk always did want the easy way out. _Zekk isn't a sith. _Isn't he, though? He wanted things to be easy, even when it came to you. But it never was, was it? _Don't say that, he wouldn't leave me. Would he? _

To this question Jaina found no answers. Not even from her own roiling mind had any form of response. All she knew was that Jag Fel was there to stay and would continue to prevent her from clinging to all that was left of Zekk… a memory.

Just like that, someone who had been more real to Jaina, who had made her life a little livelier, was reduced to a few memories over the years she'd known him and the last one was of their conversation before Mykyr. It wasn't the very last conversation they'd had, but it was the last one where Zekk had talked to Jaina about something important, about something more than a mission or even a lesson that Luke Skywalker had given them both, it was just a conversation about them.

"_So what's this about, Zekk?" Jaina asked as they sat in the cafeteria. Zekk nearly choked on his food. _

"_Well, it's not really about anything, I just wanted to talk to you. Is that not okay?" He stared at her. _

"_I just thought you had something specific to talk about, I don't care if you want to just blabber away."_

"_Huh, and here I was about to say something important." Zekk muttered. Jaina's ears caught the undertone. _

"_Okay, spit it out. What's on your mind, Zekk?" Jaina's brandy eyes held Zekk's gaze, she wasn't about to let him run away now that he had her attention. _

"_I wanted to say I've been an idiot in the past and no matter how many times you told me you'd accept me for trying to be better, I didn't listen. So now I'm going to listen. I'm going to try for real this time. No more running away every time my past comes up, I'll be straight with you. So, um… I'll start by saying that I hated myself for betraying you since the Shadow Academy attacked Yavin 4, I don't think I can ever forgive myself for trying to hurt anyone, especially not you. I…" Zekk paused then focused his eyes on Jaina's eyes. "I don't know how far back my feelings go, but I know I don't like anyone as much as you. I've ignored it for the better of these years and now that it's beyond friendship, I can't keep avoiding it any more than I can avoid telling you about my past. How I feel about it anyways. So if you can accept me for being a moron, I'd like that." Zekk gave her a feeble smile. He wasn't sure how she'd react to his semi-confession. _

"_I've been trying to tell you for months I don't care, Zekk. What about 'I don't care,' don't you get?" She demanded. He smirked._

"_I guess the whole thing." _

"_I accept you for being a moron. But you have to accept that I don't care. Deal?" She said holding her hand across the table, he nodded and grasped her hand._

"_Deal." _

Then just a few weeks later, it was over. Anything Jaina and Zekk had rebuilt from Zekk's withdrawal because of the Second Imperium, and his initial misgivings, it was all gone. Because Zekk was dead and the fact that someone else had begun to enter Jaina's life just when she was beginning to accept that fact, she just wasn't ready for it. No, she wouldn't ever be ready for that. _I'll never not remember Zekk or not think that he should be here. Even with Jag, I feel like Zekk should be with me. _

"Jaina?" She turned, her eyes were slightly red from keeping all her emotions back. No matter what, Jaina had promised herself she wouldn't break down again. Nothing was ever worth crying over… right? _It should be that way: that I'm happy for what Zekk and I had, but right now, it feels like, well, nothing happened_.

"Jay?" Jaina pulled away from the doorway as Jacen walked in. The bed creaked as he sat down.

"Jay, look at me." He said. Jaina continued to face the other direction. "Jaina, you've been avoiding Jag all day, is something-?" Jaina then abruptly faced her twin, eyes flaring.

"Yes, Jacen, something's wrong. It's me, alright? I'm what's wrong!" She snapped the words out and continued breathing heavily throughout her rant, though Jacen remained patiently silent, "I can't catch a break enough to think about what I want, or if I do want something. I don't even know any more. I feel like I don't even like who I am any more, or that I'm capable of being a Jedi. Jedi don't dwell on the past, so why am I?" She practically yelled the words, but Jacen didn't even flinch. He put his arms around his sister, sending his understanding through the force.

"Jay, it's okay." He said, still using the force to project calming feelings to her. "Nobody's saying you have to move on." He pulled away and placed a hand on her head. If anyone knew that Jaina did need someone to support her, even though she was the tougher of the twins, it was Jacen. Jaina had been insecure when the Shadow Academy kidnapped them and she was the same way now. This was something they both had to get through.

"What if it's me that wants to?" Jaina said, her hands flopping into her lap, "Jace, I don't know if I can." Jacen drew back with a broad grin on his face. She looked away from Jacen. He turned her shoulders so she'd look him in the eye.

"Hey, it's me, Jay," He said firmly, "Me. Have I ever doubted you? Whatever you want, I'll back you up." He fixed Jaina with a long stare before she met his eyes completely.

"Jace, I don't think I want to," She paused to consider her words, as much as she knew that it might be mistake or that she was passing up something that could possibly end up with her happier than she was now, Jaina was sure she didn't regret her decision, "I don't think I want to be with anyone right now." She sent images of her conversations with Jag and then shared her thoughts with Jace, though he'd already gotten a good feel for her thoughts because of their twin bond.

"Jag's not a bad guy," Jacen stated. Jaina shook her head, finally feeling more confident.

"No, he's not. But I don't think I'm okay with moving on. I don't think I'll ever be." Jaina said quietly.

Jacen watched Jaina's face as it became one of pained resolve, "Your call, Jay." Jaina drew in her breath and sighed. If anything she didn't want to feel guilty, she'd have to tell Jag too. At some point, before he misunderstood her.

_I know how you feel about Zekk, Jay. You don't have to tell me. _Jacen voiced in Jaina's head. She looked over at her brother, grateful for their twin bond. It saved the explanations that drove most siblings to the brink of insanity.

_You're the best, Jace. _

_Don't forget it. _He grinned at her and punched her arm before getting up. Jaina caught him with their bond and he turned.

_I won't as long as you take care of yourself. _Jaina arched an eyebrow.

_Blackmailer._

_I call it like I see it, Jace. _

_Yeah, and that's blackmail._

_How about when you threatened to tell Mom and Dad that Zekk and I kissed in the kitchen if I didn't keep mum about you and Tenel Ka? _

Jacen paused outwardly and in the twin bond. _We're even. _Jaina laughed and Jacen shot her a Solo grin before closing the door behind him. Jaina stood up. At the very least, she was going to be honest with Jag, as he'd been honest with her.

Mara pivoted and blocked the second lightsaber as it came around to cut her neck. Then she retaliated swiftly, kicking her second opponent to the side then slashing the first across his arm. Both opponents pushed themselves up and straightened. Clearly no one in this group of force users liked to play fair. Two against one, though it was something Mara could easily handle, still struck her as somewhat odd. It seemed more like a method of stalling than one of strategy to win in a combat. Mara gritted her teeth.

They were stalling. Even though Mara wouldn't put it past them to spare her completely, she wasn't about to push her luck with anything. She raised her lightsaber and went on the offensive, charging down the metal bridge between the platforms of the factory. She leapt into the air and landed between the two enemies. Without so much of a warning, she slashed forward then back and then kneeled and sliced at the legs. One of the enemies went down, but the other, the one with the sunset colored blade, regarded her calmly. With little or no effort on his part, the second opponent had deflected Mara's attack. Mara glanced at the second opponent. He was one the ground, blood seeping through onto the metal bridge.

"Emperor's Hand," The sunset blade holder said, "Your skills have grown rusty."

"Me?" Mara's lips curled at that comment. _I may be a mother now, but I haven't lost any of my abilities. If he thinks he can scare me into submission, he's got something else coming. _"If you could be a little less mundane about your comments, I'd be able to say the same about you."

The other laughed with a sharp and icy tone. "I amend my comment. You're just as fierce and foolish as you were many years ago. Would that suffice, Emperor's Hand? Or should I call you Mara Skywalker now?" The voice drawled and mocked on the word "Skywalker."

Mara's insides boiled. Clearly whoever this person was knew her past and knew how to get under her skin. Not only that, he'd managed to detract Mara's attention from Kyle. Mara raised her blade again and the other didn't even make a sign that he was going to respond.

"If you want to fight, Jade, I suggest you not leave your back open." Mara's eyes flicked to the side only to see for a fraction of a second the blade coming down on her arm and then the searing pain that followed. Mara couldn't be sure how much she actually imagined or felt, but the pain was enough that in all her years of acting as the Emperor's Hand, she was sure nothing was quite like this.

Mara then sucked in her breath and stood up, her free arm holding her lightsaber and she faced her opponents with a glint in her eyes. The pain fueled her energy that would have otherwise been depleted. "Don't," She seethed, "Stab a Jedi in the back." She used the force to push the second enemy off the platform then twisted around the other opponent, locking blades. Her other arm bled profusely and it was hard to tell if it was even still connected to her body because at the moment it was going completely numb.

_Clang._ The other opponent was back on the platform. He was bleeding from several places and Mara could feel the fury reverberating off of him. This was not going to be an easy battle. Not by a long shot. Mara's mouth curled into a smile at the notion.

"What do you mean?" Soontir Fel asked. Kirk leaned back and took a swig of his liquor, not looking at his friend for a moment.

"Exactly what I said, Soontir. How much does your alliance with the Jedi mean to you?" Kirk's eyes then met Soontir's red with conviction. Soontir regarded Kirk with a look of meaningful seriousness as well as sharpness.

"Do you mean to ask if I would betray them?" Soontir questioned, keeping his voice forcefully even. Kirk raised an eyebrow.

"Soontir, you're the same race that Thrawn was, don't act so surprised that I'd question your allegiance following the mess the Yuuzhan Vong left." Kirk folded his arms across his chest. "Don't get me wrong, I'd never ask you this without reason."

"And that would be?" Soontir replied almost too quickly and his voice dropped to a flat and emotionless tone.

Kirk's own face turned into a scowl. "Claus Neros."

Soontir leaned back with some surprise on his face, "Neros?" He then arched his brow, "Now what brought him up?"

"You've been hiding him." Kirk stated plainly and refilled his glass. He cast a furtive glance towards the door as he said those words. Kirk then reached for his lightsaber as a new presence entered the room.

"Am I that obvious?" Claus' cool voice asked with some cool amusement. Kirk's entire body stiffened.

"I assure you, Kirk, I had no knowledge that he was here." Soontir said, casting a frosty glare in Claus' direction. Kirk was now on his feet and his hand was curled around his lightsaber.

"I believe you. But your son did," Kirk lifted his gaze to regard both Claus and Soontir at the same time.

"Jag? How could Jag know anything about this?" Soontir asked, his voice losing its composure. Kirk remained stationary and his lightsaber was out in the open and his fingers ran over the on switch.

"Not Jag, Soontir," Kirk's mouth curled into a grimly wry smile, "Jag's too old to be influenced like that."

Soontir paled visibly, which was saying something as the Chiss Baron was already pale faced by nature. "Cem? Why on the stars would Cem do something like that?"

Kirk returned his gaze to Claus who was equally eyeing Kirk with distaste as well as bloodlust. "Maybe Claus can answer that for us."

"He was all too eager to listen to my offer. What's to lose, Fel, you've got another son." Claus said with a grin.

Soontir was then up faster than either Claus or Kirk could follow. Claus certainly didn't see Soontir draw his sword or he would have moved to dodge Soontir's attack. In a second the blade flashed twice and then Claus was on the ground, bleeding from his chest and neck. When Kirk finally looked over at his childhood friend, the sword was already back in its sheath. For using a sword that was intended for formal events and not battle, Soontir had done a good job of making the hits count. Then again, Kirk thought with grim admiration, Soontir wasn't the Baron for nothing.

Kirk wasn't about to take any risks however. He turned on his lightsaber with a snap-hiss and then flicked the blade to Claus' neck. He glared up at Kirk. Thumping echoed outside and then the doors opened with a bang. Dozens of Chiss soldiers armed and armor clad filled the room and pointed their blaster rifles at Claus.

"Arrest him," Soontir ordered, now back to his cold Baron Fel self. Kirk was also back in battle mode as well. The soldiers cuffed Claus and then surrounded him and marched him out of the room. Kirk turned off his lightsaber and looked over at Baron Fel.

"If it's any consolation, Cem's not at fault." Kirk stated, keeping his voice respectfully low. Soontir turned to look at Kirk for a moment.

"A traitor is a traitor in Chiss territory. I trust you to remember that, Master Dekim." Soontir's firm and coldly calculating voice rang throughout the room and lingered even when Baron Fel inclined his head to Kirk then strode out of the room.

"Orders, Sir?" One of the soldiers turned to face the high collared leader as they hid in the docking bay. The leader narrowed his eyes and then frowned.

"There's nothing we can do, pull back." The leader's words stung even his own lips as he spoke them. But the soldier saluted and went to distribute the new commands.

"Yes, Sir," He said in a low voice, so as to not alert the patrollers in the Chiss docking bay of their presence. The leader scowled deeply at the person now entering the docking bay. He fingered his blaster as the blonde haired man came in. But he had his orders. Taking care of the Jedi would have to wait.

"I don't see why you have to keep coming back here to talk to me." Jag turned his head to look over at Jaina. They were back in the cemetery and in front of Zekk's grave. It seemed the right place to tell Jag, if anything, Jaina hoped being here would help him to understand what she had to say.

"Listen, Jag," Jaina began but before she could say anything more Jag was already talking over her.

"It's okay, Jaina, I already know why you brought me here. It didn't take much time to figure it out," He glanced over at her, smiling wanly. "I'm just sorry I couldn't be the one to help you." He brushed his hair out of his face. "Whoever he was, Zekk made a mistake leaving you behind." He laughed a little and saw Jaina cough from the cold creeping in under her jacket.

"You shouldn't be out here any longer, Jaina," He pointed out and moved over to where Jaina was standing in front Zekk's grave. She shivered.

"Why did you give up so easily?" She asked without looking at him. "You knew I was going to tell you this and you just gave up, why?"

Jag sighed and then rubbed his forehead, "Maybe because I felt like I couldn't convince you otherwise. You're pretty stubborn, you know." He frowned good humoredly at Jaina.

Jaina had to smile at that. "Always have been. Why should I change now?" Jag's brow went up in confirmation.

"Why indeed." He then crouched down next to Zekk's headstone and hung his head. "I was hoping I would be able to tell Zekk I'd be the one to back you up from now on, but I guess you've got that covered on your own," Jag laughed, "Zekk probably knew that from the get-go. You're independent."

Jaina cocked her head to the side, "We all are in some ways, Jag. You, me, Zekk, my brothers, this whole galaxy tries to do things on its own, but in the end, we end up helping each other anyways because that's what the force wants."

"What do you think it wants?" Jag asked. Jaina shrugged.

"Aside from that, I really have no idea. Anakin might but even he's got to be confused," Jaina pushed herself to her feet. "But I do know that I want to find out who left that flower here the other day."

Jag blinked. "So that's why you came back?"

"More or less. I'm saying goodbye to this place for good. Zekk's dead and I don't think I should dwell on the past any more than I already have." Jag's eyes grew serious.

"And you're okay with that?" He continued to look at Jaina until she sighed then grinned confidently.

"Yeah, I am."

Luke turned his head away from watching his niece talk to Jag Fel and walked over to where Corran Horn was standing. He'd already finished placing the flowers on the small gravestone in the ground. Luke crossed over and joined Corran in staring at the name: VALIN HORN, then his birth-date and death-date.

"Sometimes I don't understand why it has to be the young," Luke said with a frown. Corran gritted his teeth.

"You of all people I thought would know that it's not always the young." Corran observed more coolly than Luke expected.

"There's not much left for us to do if they're all gone, Corran." Luke pointed out. Corran looked down at his son's grave with a sudden harshness.

"I have to say, Luke, you surprise me sometimes. Of all the Jedi to say we need the young to live on, when you haven't stuck out your neck since the rebellion," Corran commented with bitter conviction. Luke's face shifted but he remained calm, knowing that Corran was never unnecessarily cruel whether with words or with his fighting. It was something in his old friend that Luke respected greatly.

"Corran, I promise you that I won't allow anyone to hold back any longer. It was my fault Valin had to sacrifice himself."

Corran laughed hollowly as Luke continued, "I'm not even sure what Valin himself wanted his life to end, but he did what he thought was right. It's my fault for not telling him that sacrifice, no matter what it gains, isn't worth it."

"Heh," Corran laughed bitterly again, "That's funny coming from you, Luke. You've always made the greatest sacrifice of all."

Luke's face became one of surprise. He blinked, "Oh, and what's that?" Luke looked honestly confused as well as curious to the point where Corran shook his head.

"Your freedom to choose your own path," Corran then walked down the gravel road and onto the main path out of the cemetery. Luke placed his hand on Valin's headstone. It was hard to be proud when a life, especially one so short, was lost. Nothing was ever worth that. Of anything, Luke was sure of that statement.

He paused, sensing in the force Mara's presence. Something wasn't right. He couldn't get a hold of her long enough to contact her, which could mean only one thing.

Anakin was sitting on the edge of the camp when Tahiri woke up. His face was so contorted and the feelings she was getting from him were so convoluted and constricted that Tahiri was sure she could almost feel her own mind screaming to be released from the twisted mess. The whole idea of having a bond brought two people so close that it was impossible to ignore even the slightest feeling of anxiety or happiness the other person was feeling. This was abundantly true with Anakin and Tahiri.

She picked herself up and without making any noise, went over to where Anakin was seated. "Mind telling me why your anxiety woke me up?"

Anakin almost jumped at hearing her voice then recollected himself long enough to reply, "I'm just thinking." Tahiri sat down with a long sigh.

"With you, Anakin, it's never 'just thinking,'" She glanced sideways at him as she leaned back, "Come on, Hero Boy, let the rest of the world carry its own burden for a change."

He swallowed, a gesture that did not go unnoticed by Tahiri, "Anakin, what happened?" Tahiri was now genuinely concerned and had stopped joking around.

"Tahiri, tell me the truth," Anakin said, "Do you want to stay here with Jesse and find out about your parents?" He met her eyes, even though his voice was almost faltering at the idea of having to accept that Tahiri would want to give up everything else to go with Jesse and leave behind her new family.

Tahiri brushed the bangs off of Anakin's face and let her hand linger on his forehead for a moment before shaking her head. "I'm already happy with knowing what I do, Anakin."

He bit his lip, "But you could know who your parents were, the whole history, you can't ignore that it's something you want, Tahiri. I can feel that much." He hardened his stare. Tahiri laughed.

"You look so silly when you try to pretend you want me to go with Jesse," Tahiri grinned at Anakin's stunned expression.

_Am I that bad at lying? _He thought with confusion.

"Yes, Anakin, you are." Tahiri said, still laughing a little. Then she took one of his hands and intertwined her fingers with his. Anakin's still surprised expression brought more laughter on Tahiri's part before she grinned. "But I appreciate that you're trying to give me the chance to get my family history. It means a lot to me that you would try."

"Yeah, but it's not enough." Anakin argued. Tahiri groaned then shook her head.

"And I'm telling you it is," She pressed her head against his, for the fourth time that day stunning Anakin into silence.

"What about learning about Jesse?"

"Anakin,"

"You could finally find your biological family. Don't you think that's important?" He was stopped in midsentence because Tahiri was kissing him and then his mind went blank. Tahiri smirked as she pulled away.

"That was underhanded." Anakin pointed out. Tahiri stood up briskly.

"It was the only way to get you to stop worrying about it," She answered flatly.

"You weren't taking me seriously." Anakin frowned. Tahiri punched him in the arm. Anakin winced.

"Of course I was. You just weren't listening to what I had to say about the situation. You were so convinced you already knew what I was going to say that you wouldn't listen when I said I didn't want to leave."

Anakin's blue eyes went wide, "Tahiri, do you get that if you follow me, it might be years before we can even consider coming back to find Jesse and the other Veilas?"

She plopped back down on the log, "Yup and I'm fine with that. Are you?"

He nodded, "I just didn't want you to feel like you had to leave if you really wanted to stay here with Jesse."

"Anakin, Jesse might be my newly discovered brother, but he's not the one I've been best friends with for the past seven years," Tahiri felt something just then. It was an almost sad fear hidden beneath all the emotions Anakin had underneath his emotional walls. The feeling was something that Tahiri would have missed if Anakin hadn't let his guard down for a moment by accident just now. She reached over and touched his cheek. "I'm not going to leave you just because I think I might find something out about my family. I won't leave you alone. I promise."

Anakin stared at her, "You felt that?"

"For a second, yeah, I did," Tahiri touched his mind with hers. "Were you really that scared that I'd just up and leave you behind?"

He nodded, "It's happened before. People just leave. They move on, they drift away or they push you away when it suits them best."

Tahiri fixed Anakin with her green eyes, "But this is me, Anakin. Not just other people," Tahiri drew in her breath, "And frankly I don't understand how they could quickly judge you to the point where they can think you're not worth the effort."

Anakin smiled at that, "Well, you always were a little different than everyone else when it came to making friends."

"I hope to the force you didn't just figure that out just now, Anakin Solo." She raised an eyebrow at him and scowled. He laughed.

"No, I knew that right when we first met. You didn't even comment on where my name came from. I guessed it was because you hadn't heard of Anakin Skywalker, but you really just didn't care who was who."

"Well, yeah, what does it matter who your family is?" Tahiri said bluntly and folded her arms across her chest in defiance.

"It did to me at one point, but not so much now," Anakin's serene smile didn't go unnoticed by Tahiri because she regarded him curiously.

"What are you smiling about?" She furrowed her brow.

"You," Anakin glanced at her, pure enjoyment radiating from his entire body and into their bond. Tahiri blushed vibrantly.

Mara drove her lightsaber through the second opponent's sleeve, just missing his arm. The other one wound around the other side of Mara but she caught his blade on hers then knocked him down once again and caught his arm on her blade. He pulled back quickly, sending blood splattering all over the platform.

"That was foolish." Mara pointed out before returning to her fighting mode. She kicked out and flicked her lightsaber to cut the silent opponent who arrived first in the neck. The one with the sunset colored blade had recovered from his injury long enough to renew his attack. His energy sent Mara sprawling as he struck her in the shoulder opposite her injured one. He approached but Mara was already on her feet and they locked blades again, she pulled under his defenses and cut more of his robe. Then a loud creaking sound echoed. Mara looked around as the first opponent stood off the side, his eyes narrowed in concentration.

She looked up as the beam above them gave way and began to fall.

**A/N- Cliff Hanger! ^-^ Please review and I'll give you cookies. **


	12. Sometimes and Somewhere a Lost Dream Sta

**Chapter 11**

**Sometimes and Somewhere, A Lost Dream Stays**

_A/N- It's been a while since I've kicked up the action in this story, so this chapter will definitely build up for some action. _

_I've just been building up to the main center of this piece (which I noted in my description of this story- and that particular character is about to make his entrance within the next chapter or so). I have to edit some bits of that chapter so I'll post it as soon as I'm done doing that. _

_Oh, oh, oh!! Yeah, I forgot to mention, I had a plethora of new ideas for the fan fic come to me today and yesterday, it was AMAZING!!! *Does the ewok dance* So you're in for some great stuff. Surprisingly I got new ideas from one of my least interesting college classes and I got a most interesting idea. (Talk about ironic, right?)._

_Just to note, I changed a few details about Cem's appearance in this fan fic, so if it doesn't fit with the book, it's deliberate. _

_Okay, I shut up now to let you read the story._

_As always, if you review I will love you forever!! (Plus reviews help me to know how to improve the story and make it more fun for you guys to read so it's in your best interest to give me feedback). _

_Happy Halloween!!!- by the time this is posted, it will have been that wonderful holiday where candy is in abundance and you see random people dressed as Jedi, Stormtroopers, Darth Vader, and Yoda (or that could be an SW convention- depending on where you are). _

_I just started reading "Dark Force Rising," it's so GOOD!! (Even that statement is a vast understatement)._

_Hee! =)_

_-Don _

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Jag sat back in his chair. The news about his brother had made him as angry as it had made him disappointed. Betrayal, Chiss culture or not, in one's own family, was just not the kind of thing Jag was used to. Death, sure, Jag had seen and felt it happen all the time. But betrayal wasn't something Jag was used to nor did he think he would ever get used to it.

Cem. Of all people to betray the family, why was Cem the one to do it? _Then again_, Jag thought, _Wyn wouldn't do that. She might run away, but she'd never turn her back on her family unless something horrible happened_. _We're honestly not that bad, are we? _Jag voiced in his head. The question rang out in hollow echoes and faded. Nothing came to him to sooth the pain. He almost wished Cem had died rather than betrayed his family. Because now that Cem was a traitor, Jag's brow furrowed deeply, Jag would probably have to kill him.

"Something on your mind, Fel?" His head turned to look at Jaina, who was leaning against the dashboard of the ship they were using to go track their first clue as to who left the rose on the grave of Anakin Skywalker. Jag shook his head. Jaina raised an eyebrow at him and folded her arms across her chest.

"You know I can tell that you're lying, right?"

"Yes," Jag replied curtly. Jaina frowned.

"Then why the lie in the first place?" She asked, unfolding her arms from across her chest. She came over and used the force to send comfort over to Jag. Though he wasn't force sensitive, he could feel the initial intent of the force around him.

"Because you don't need to know about my family's troubles," Jag pointed out a little more gently this time. Jaina nodded.

"Fact," She eyed him carefully, "But you don't need to hide them either. I'm not exactly a stranger to pain, you know."

Jag narrowed his eyes at her, "Exactly," He stared harshly at Jaina, "You think right now you can handle a little bit more bad news, but then later on it will crush you."

"That's my problem, not yours, Fel." Jaina answered stiffly. She sighed. "Jag, it's much worse that you're just bottling this up right now. I can feel all your pain just as well through the force than if you told me what was bothering you."

Jag stared at her coldly with his green eyes in hopes that she'd give up but he soon found that it was futile. He might as well have tried to get his father to smile.

"My younger brother, Cem, has become a traitor," Jag said, and not without some resentment of the statement. Jaina's eyes became continually sharp as she listened to Jag talk. "I have been given strict orders to kill him on sight if I find him."

Jaina blinked, "But he's your brother, can't your father do something-?"

Jag cut her off, "It was my father who gave the order." Jaina's blood chilled and she stood stock still at those words. If she'd been ordered by the New Republic to kill Jacen or Anakin, no matter what they'd done, she would have promptly ignored it. But she knew from experience that Jag was different. His planet was stricter and dealt more harshly with its traitors than the New Republic's planets did.

"You're not going to obey it," She asked, then noticed his aversion to her eyes. In a more subdued voice she said, "Are you?" Jaina sucked in her breath as Jag once again refused to answer her.

"Sith, Jag! Can't you think for yourself for once?" Jaina snapped. He regarded her carefully.

"I have a duty to my father and to my planet, Jaina," He replied more sternly than he was speaking before. "Cem has willingly gone with Claus Neros."

Jaina's eyes widened, "Claus Neros? Wasn't he one of Uncle Luke's old students?"

Jag shook his head, "I don't know too much about him except that Claus Neros has been causing problems for my father for years and only now has come into the open. Cem has been proven with exacting evidence to have been an accomplice."

Jaina made a noise halfway between a laugh and an incredulous snort, "Accomplice? Jag, come _on_!" She once again folded her arms across her chest, "If it was that easy to condemn someone, everyone would be guilty. Do you honestly believe that Cem would betray you?"

Jag smiled sadly at Jaina for a moment before replying, "There was a time," He said slowly, "When the answer to that would have been no," He paused and clasped his hands, "But Cem did not stick around to stand trial for himself or to argue. He left as soon as Claus was arrested. His room, his weapons, all of it was gone when the soldiers went to search for him to prove him innocent. He ran, Jaina."

"His silence proved him guilty, huh?" Jaina said in a sullen voice that was almost a whisper. Jag nod.

"He was only too proud to join the side he believed was in the right. Cem was always like that," Jag laughed hollowly. Jaina watched as Jag's face strained. She could tell even without the obvious feelings she felt from Jag in the force, that the last thing he wanted to do was kill his younger brother. Who would? After losing his two older siblings, Jag probably didn't care to lose another, especially at his own hands. She could almost hear him thinking, "Please let someone else run into him first."

The real question was, if Cem was truly a traitor, would he kill his family without a second thought?

Anakin felt the disturbance almost as though it were right there in the ship. He cringed, knowing that he couldn't do anything to help his aunt.

"Anakin, what's wrong?" Tahiri asked, seeing Anakin's expression as he ran the pre-flight check. He tried pushing the pain aside but Tahiri grasped his shoulder roughly. He glanced down.

"Aunt Mara's in trouble. But we're too far away to help her right now," Anakin replied in grim acceptance of the fact.

Tahiri's brow furrowed and she turned her head to look through the frontal viewport. "Do you want to go after her?" He shook his head.

"I do, but I'm not sure where she is. She's using the force to mask her location for some reason."

"That's odd." Tahiri said, one blonde eyebrow lifted slightly then her green eyes shifted their attention onto Anakin. "Nothing?"

He focused with the force and shrugged, "Nothing. She's too far away for me to get a feel and then there's her force block."

Tahiri frowned in thought and then looked thoughtful, "Anakin, don't get mad at me for saying this," She noticed how his eyes became suspicious of her as soon as she said that, "But maybe we can ask Jesse for help-"

Before she could even finish her sentence Anakin's response cut her off. "No."

"Anakin, she could be dying! We don't have time to waste."

His blue eyes grew distant, "That's one road I won't take. I'm not risking Mara's life in the hands of Jesse."

Tahiri almost flinched at that. "He is my brother, Anakin."

Anakin's eyes flared, "Brothers don't mean anything if they haven't been in your life for almost seventeen years."

"Still, you could give him a chance, Anakin." Tahiri argued. Jesse's words then echoed in Anakin's mind, _don't deny her something you've always had for yourself. _

He swallowed quietly as he could manage before looking Tahiri directly in the eyes. "Why do you think he'd be able to help?"

Tahiri shrugged, "Maybe something along the lines of 'you got to be a rogue to find a rogue," or something like that."

"Meaning if Mara's on a rogue mission, you need a rogue to find her?" He grinned at Tahiri's logic. It definitely made sense in theory, but he wasn't sure about the in practice part. "Even if Jesse's a rogue, that doesn't mean he knows where Mara is though."

Tahiri smiled knowingly, "No, but you have some feel of where she is in the force, right?"

Anakin nodded, "A little, it's really not much."

"It'll be enough." Tahiri said with her usual confidence. Anakin found it a little ridiculous how she could find confidence in something that was probably a total hit or miss scenario. Not to mention that the consequences of the miss meant Mara might be killed. Anakin didn't want that any more than he wanted to get into an argument with a jawa, because he'd lose that fight faster than you could say "bantha poodoo."

"You realize that we're placing our trust in the hands of someone, aside from being your lost brother, who's a complete stranger?" Anakin asked pointedly.

"Do you realize that you're sounding extremely paranoid right now?" Tahiri rolled her eyes at him. Anakin gave a long sigh. What had he done to deserve all this pressure right now?

"Not without reason. I have a funny feeling about Jesse" Anakin observed.

"Well, when you're done feeling funny, we can go talk to him about rescuing Mara." Tahiri arched her brow at Anakin who threw her an annoyed glare. She was thrusting aside any argument that Anakin tried to formulate, and moreover, she was good at it. Not that Anakin expected anything less from Tahiri, who was the master of words, but this was getting to the point of aggravation.

"What did I do to deserve this?" He muttered out loud to the force. Tahiri heard him and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Come on, Hero Boy, show a little backbone," She punched his arm and then continued walking back towards the ramp of their ship. "Well, you coming or what?"

"Or what," Anakin muttered once again, only this time Tahiri didn't hear him as she was already outside.

The ceiling came down along with the beams supporting it and Mara only had a second to jump back on the metal bride as one of the beams smashed both the metal bridge and platform in half. The impact sent her sprawling further than her jump had and she hit the other side of the metal bridge hard enough to disorient her. Then she turned her attention sharply as the bridge roared as it sunk down, half its support gone, the bridge was now sinking into the lower level of the factory.

Mara's instincts returned and she leapt onto the remaining platform but was met by the cloaked form of the sunset blade warrior. She drew her lightsaber only a fraction of a second too late as the warrior reached out in the force to pull the next beam down and it smashed down on the platform just as the warrior stepped backwards into the doorway of the upper factory's workrooms. Mara didn't even have the chance to try to use to the force to move the beam away and she could have given the time, but time wasn't something she had any of at the moment.

Mara used the force and braced as the beam gave its last and final creak before crashing down with Mara pressed against it to reduce the impact.

Luke's mind strained with the possibilities of where Mara could be. He felt her pain in the force, and then he felt some blockage. She clearly didn't want anyone, even him, to know where she was and more importantly, why. Luke paced back and forth, his brow creased until Leia finally stepped over to him.

"Luke, sit down, you're not doing yourself or anyone else anything by pacing," She gave him a harsh stare until he relented.

"Suddenly everyone is flying off to other places, and force knows why they don't bother to say anything about it," He rubbed his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. "I think Mara was a bad influence on Anakin."

Leia arched her eyebrow at that comment. "And you, Fly Boy, are not?" He glanced at his sister, wondering briefly what in his past she was making a reference to, though he had some idea given the nickname.

"Leia, we have to do something."

"Luke, you're always doing something, you need to let someone else take over for a change," Leia softened her gaze. "It's not up to you to save the galaxy and everyone in it each and every time there's a problem."

"There are some," Luke said, "Who think I don't do enough." Luke immediately thought of Corran's words when they had stood in the cemetery. It wasn't even about Luke saving Mara, it was about the fact that he hadn't gone on important missions like the Mykyr mission, helped when all the planets fell to the Yuuzhan Vong, and then he wasn't there when his family needed him the most.

"Well, whoever they are," Leia said with some edge to her voice, "They don't know the half of what you've done."

"A Jedi's work is never done, Leia," He said with a tired voice. Age really was starting to creep up on Luke. It was hard to believe that at one point he was doing the same thing as Anakin, Jaina, and Jacen were doing. Luke had even seen his now seven year old son, Ben; begin his training in the force at the Academy on Yavin 4. Ben was just as eager to train and had a unique sense of the force and all the beings as well as difficulties within it. All the exploration of this was new to Ben, just as it had been for Luke when he first met Obi-Wan on Tatooine.

"I never said it was," Leia pointed out. Luke met her eyes. "I only meant you could afford to take a break, Luke." Her tone changed from one of edge to a soft one of concern. "I'm worried that if you try too hard, you'll just end up hurting yourself."

Luke smiled at her. _Trust Leia to know exactly what to say to get me to lower my guard_, He mused to himself. He knew she was right of course. Pushing oneself when one was clearly tired and worn as Luke clearly was at the moment, was risky, and foolish at best, but Luke knew he still had some things to take care of before he rested.

"I have to help Mara. I'm sure you'd do the same if Han was in trouble."

Leia gave an uncharacteristically derisive snort. "That," She said, "Has got to be a joke." Her eyes twinkled as she said her last statement, "Han's always in trouble." Luke was inclined to agree with her. Then again, Han had also pulled Luke out of several tough situations. Some, that Luke himself had purposely put himself in for the sake of defeating some adversary.

"Then you should go find out what he's doing now." Luke suggested with an almost mischievous grin.

"Luke, you find the weirdest times to use facial expressions," Leia eyed her brother with amusement. He shrugged.

"What can I say, it's a talent," He stood up from the couch and started out of the room.

"Luke."

He turned shortly to catch Leia's face serious once more. It was the same expression she wore when handling New Republic issues.

"May the force be with you."

"And you, Leia." He smiled at her before exiting the apartment. This left Leia feeling alone as well as a strange feeling of misgiving. There wasn't any immediate danger surrounding Mara, that much Leia could tell, but something was off. It might be something that had to do with who Mara was with at the moment, maybe? That was probably it. Leia's brow furrowed and she made her way to the kitchen to make herself some coffee when the door to the apartment opened again. Leia sensed the presence before she even saw the person.

"I'm in here, Jacen." Leia said calmly. She heard his footfalls on the carpet and then Jacen appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. He looked tired and his body had a definite look of weariness as well as his weight was considerably lighter. Though the light in his eyes and the grin remained as upbeat and positive as when he was fourteen, before anything horrible had taken its toll on the young Jedi's life.

"Mom, can we talk?" He asked. Leia sensed the importance in Jacen's voice and nodded. "Do you need some coffee?"

He shook his head. "But I think you might need two cups for this one." He smiled grimly. Leia's senses couldn't pick up the exact nature of Jacen's statement but she knew better than to doubt his word, especially when the force was saying he wasn't exaggerating.

"I'm a mother of three, Jacen, and I've handled some of the worst news in the galaxy," She went over to the couch where he was already seated. "I think I'm okay with one cup."

Jacen nodded. He wasn't about to argue with his mother about that because it wasn't the reason he was there. If he wanted to argue with his mother, he would have picked a time that was more appropriate and a better topic than the one had had to talk about.

"So, what's this about, Jacen and don't leave any details out," She gave him a look that said 'I'll know if you do.'

"Well, I guess I'll start with the first piece of news," He had mentally decided to give her the good news then the bad for better or for worse. "Tenel Ka's pregnant."

Leia's eyes widened then she blinked. "Pregnant?"

Jacen nodded, his eyes were smiling. He wasn't unhappy about the idea of having a second child. Though it made him a little more apprehensive about his second piece of news, which wasn't quite as upbeat.

"We're not sure if it's going to be a girl or a boy, but I thought I should tell you about it," He watched his mother's face for a moment. It had been months since Valin's birth, so he expected his mother to have some shock at this revelation but she was completely floored. For a moment she swallowed then found her voice.

"That's wonderful, Jacen. Really," She placed a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure you and Tenel Ka are elated."

"Well," He rubbed the back of his neck, "We are. But I'm not sure how to tell Tenel Ka about something, and I wanted to ask you about it first."

Leia regarded her oldest son carefully, "Is there a problem with the child?"

He shook his head. "At least I don't think there is. But I'm concerned about whether or not," He paused as he chose his words carefully, "I'm going to be around long enough to raise it."

Leia absorbed this information slowly. It was hard enough, she could tell, for Jacen to even bring up this possibility, so she wasn't about to let her own shock and concern show. "Have you talked to the doctors recently?" She asked. He shook his head again.

"No, but I don't need to. I can feel my own health through the force and I can't really say how much time I have really," He gave Leia an almost pleading look, one that took Leia by surprise such that she had to gaze at Jacen before responding.

"You want me to do something?" Leia managed. He nodded.

"A will," He said, almost not managing to say the word. "And I want to make some holos of me for Valin and for the new baby. If they never get to meet me, then I want them to see something at least."

Leia's own heart constricted at those words. A child who never got to meet his or her parents would never get to know the feel of a mother's embrace or a father's hair ruffling. They wouldn't be able to talk about who their parents were as people or to wonder about how they came to be that way and ask them endless questions, because their parents were gone. Even if it was just one parent, it was enough to deprive a child of one half of a life they should have. Or the life the parent should have raising the child. All these thoughts ran through Leia's head. Here Jacen was, in sober acceptance of the possibility that he might not get to meet his next child, and he was almost calm about it.

Jacen could truly feel his own death coming or he wouldn't be asking. Leia's mind held back its pain and she used the force to suppress her own anguish. Jacen was right in front of her, possibly dying and she wasn't able to do anything.

"Of course," She said, a tremor threatening to show through onto her face. Jacen noticed this and placed his hand over his mother's.

"Mom," He smiled at her, "Please, if you have to cry, I don't want you to feel like you have to hide it." He grimaced as Leia nodded, letting some tears slide down her face but then recollected herself.

"You're still alive. Life should be celebrated while it exists and I've yet to see the day when a Solo doesn't cheat death," She stood up. "Now, what should we do about these holos?"

Cem stood straight as he surveyed the battlefield in front of him. The risk of attacking such a well known Chiss supply depot was that he himself could be recognized and caught. But Cem hardly gave this any thought as he commanded the troops. He had donned the dark armor of the alliance Claus Neros had formed with the unnamed leaders working in the background. What had made Cem trust in them wasn't because of rewards of wealthy nature. Cem could get that from his own family. Nor was it power in the purest form.

Cem was more interested in fighting on the frontlines. He wanted to command troops and to command fleets. He was tired of sitting on the sidelines while the Chiss high command debated endlessly what it was going to do. Cem was now satisfied with his new position as a commander on the team of soldiers raiding the Chiss depots, and the same team that Claus would have lead had he not been arrested.

Cem almost regretted having to leave. He liked Claus; the man knew how to fight. Despite Cem's initial misgivings about Jedi, Claus wasn't the typical kind of Jedi found flocking around Luke Skywalker.

"Commander," A soldier said to Cem, the sound coming from his helmet's comlink. "All units are in place."

"Good," Cem said. This was going to be interesting. He almost reveled in the idea of seeing the reactions of the formalistic Chiss high command when their depots turned up completely empty. "Move in and don't strike until I get inside."

"Yes, Sir," the soldier saluted and went off. As an experienced fighter from many years in training under the Chiss tutors and officers, and having hands-on experience, Cem was a first choice for recruitment by Claus. The rogue Jedi had known Cem was more likely to accept the offer than Jag Fel was. Jag's loyalty was steadfast. Cem hefted his own blaster-rifle.

"I'm going in, cover me," He said to the soldiers still surrounding him. They nodded their assent and he slowly made his way across the concrete ground and slowly approached the already destroyed fence, blasted by the troops surrounding the building. He ran across the ground, the other troops aiming around him.

Then the blaster fire came from his left. Cem fired, killing the shooter on the first shot. More fire followed but it was covered by Cem's soldiers. He moved swiftly. The mission was the priority. Inside the depots were enough supplies for a massive army, for the entire Chiss military and then some.

Cem reached the door and signaled for half his squad to remain watching the entrance. He then moved inside, still watching for Chiss guards. But all he saw were the bodies of the guards taken out by Cem's first force. He smiled. _Efficient and swift, just as soldiers should be_.

Cem went down instinctively as he heard the sound a trigger clicking. He narrowly dodged the blaster fire that would have clipped off his left ear. Cem rolled back into a crouch then returned the fire, with the reward of hearing the enemy groan and fall from his hiding place down the hallway. Cem scowled deeply. One of his troops would have to answer for the lack of coverage in this particular hallway. But not now, the time for reprimanding for not thoroughly covering each hallway and securing it would be when they met up with the rest of the army.

Cem stood up and ran down the hallway, his hearing and senses now sharpened. He then turned to the right and fired one shot, and another groan came. But it was followed by sharp breathing, so Cem knew he'd missed the vital spot. Not that he'd intended to hit it. He turned the corner and grabbed the Chiss soldier by the shirt collar. Then not bothering to note how much blood was coming out the Chiss soldier's wound, slammed him against the steel walls of the depot. "You," Cem said frostily, "Tell me where the rest of your squad is hidden," Of course Cem was well aware that no Chiss soldier, even the most wet behind the ears greenie, would betray his squad. Though Cem's asking had its desired effect, the soldier's eyes cast a furtive glance in the general direction of his squad before returning to Cem's glowing red eyes. Cem, unlike his brother, Jag, was pure Chiss in blood. He'd missed any of the human genes from their mother, Syal, and gotten all the Chiss that Baron Soontir Fel had. This made Cem more intimidating to all the soldiers now working under his command. All of them remembered the terror wrought on the galaxy, or at least had heard the legends of Grand Admiral Thrawn, the only non-human to become one of the Emperor's own Grand Admirals.

"I don't betray my own kind," The soldier spat at Cem, who smiled with sardonic sweetness, "Oh, is that so?" Cem, having already figured out what he wanted, took his blaster and shot the soldier straight through the skull, and let the body slide to the floor. With the close range, the blast's sound was absorbed and Cem was able to conceal his arrival on the rest of the squad.

Upon seeing him, the squad members opened fire, but only a second too late. Cem was already rolling and dodging with practiced ease, and then blew holes through all of their skulls. In his training, Cem was taught that shooting the head finished the job quickly and required less fire power. It also ensured efficiency. Cem was a stickler for efficiency. At age eighteen, Cem was the youngest officer in the Chiss military before he had left, or rather betrayed them. Most soldiers therefore knew who he was, if not for whom he was the son of, they knew him for his reputation for being the youngest soldier to obtain officer rank, even younger than Jag was. Cem's skills only went, as far as he was concerned, as far as he trained himself. So Cem had trained day in and out, gone on many ground missions, and even convinced his father that he should be put on the frontlines should a battle arise.

Which was where Cem was put during the Yuuzhan Vong war, he was always on missions, always fighting, and rarely ever came home. Jag on the other hand took vacations, came home, and talked to his family. Cem was dedicated to the military and was the choice pick for a promotion to the rank of Major, not too far behind his brother.

Only when Cem was offered a position that would make him constantly on the battlefield, but in higher command, did Cem even slightly consider the offer. Cem wasn't the type to turn traitor, but then again, he wasn't exactly the type to pass up on an opportunity to hone his skills as a commanding officer, more accurately, the officer in charge of all ground force operations by his new superiors as it were.

He stood over the bodies lying all over the floor when the rest of his squad caught up with him.

"Commander, we've found the supplies-" The soldier in the front began when he noticed Cem's eyes flaring at the sight of the bodies. The soldier gulped. In many ways, the soldiers in the force raiding the depot were almost as frightened of Cem as they might have been of an angry sith lord. In the short time Cem had been commanding them, even before his betrayal was revealed, Cem's reputation was well known. His betrayal only served to give the soldiers on both sides reason to believe Cem would go to any lengths to accomplish the mission.

"Lieutenant," Cem's said in a cool tone, "Is there a reason why I found guards that had not been taken care of?" His eyes bore into his second in command. The soldier gulped visibly.

"We missed them, Sir," He said, trying to keep the fear out of his voice but failing.

"Exactly," Cem replied, and without another word, his hand flashed to his blaster, drew it and shot the Lieutenant through the head just as he had shot the enemy soldiers, in the same motion he put his blaster back into its holster, and then turned to the next officer in line.

"You," He said to the soldier with a 2nd Lt.'s insignia.

"Yes, Commander Fel?" The soldier stood stiffly to attention.

"Dispose of these bodies when you leave. You will replace the First Lieutenant," He then turned on his heel and strode towards the exit.

"And the factory, Sir?" The newly promoted First Lieutenant asked. Cem kept walking.

"Burn it," Cem stated without any hint of emotion or care, and slinging his blaster rifle across his back, slammed the factory door behind himself and the rest of the squad.

Jacen tossed and turned, his face ridden with sweat. At some point the pain had gotten to the point where he couldn't even lie down flat. He was up in an instant, walking towards Valin's room.

He stood over the cradle where his son, just a few months old, was sleeping peacefully. Valin wouldn't wake easily, Jacen knew, but Jacen was also aware that if he wasn't too careful, Valin's force sensitive mind would feel his father's distress and waken. If anything, Jacen could already feel that Valin was far too sensitive to be anything but a strong Jedi.

Who would teach Valin?

_You know._

I don't. Tenel Ka will be the one who teaches him in the beginning, but he'll need a constant teacher. A Jedi Master who can help his force sensitivity grow in the right ways.

_Your brother might._

Anakin? Why Anakin?

_He is stronger than any Jedi currently alive._

I doubt that.

_No, you don't. You know he is. Anakin escaped the void without a single scratch and could do it again._

So, he's one with the force without being dead?

_Perhaps, only the force knows._

Jacen mulled over the words his own mind had said. Then, he thought to himself, is he to surpass Uncle Luke?

_Why don't you stick around and find out?_

Jacen sighed, because I'm dying.

_Wrong, you think you're dying, when in reality, your body is dying, but you yourself are still alive._

Isn't that the same thing?

_You tell me._

Jacen didn't answer. He couldn't answer, because at that very moment, his force senses tingled and he whipped his head around just in time to see the laser shooting through the door and then smash through the window to the balcony. He immediately called his lightsaber to his hand and stood between the door and Valin's cradle.

Jaina's head turned sharply as Jag leaned over the dashboard, plotting their course. After searching the records for anyone who might have been linked to Anakin Skywalker, Jaina had eventually just gone for asking the one person she knew would know the most about Anakin Skywalker.

Talking to Luke Skywalker about his father was no easy task. For one thing, Luke didn't know too much to begin with because he only met his father after he'd become Darth Vader, but Luke did know some facts and background from his own searches. After explaining what she'd found, Jaina had asked him if he knew anyone who could have placed the rose. Luke had thought about it, but had no answers. Save one.

Luke had heard some information floating around about the mysterious planet where much of the beginning of the Clone Wars had begun, with the invasion of an aquatic planet that had allied itself with the Republic when the Trade Federation was trying to pick away at the New Republic's edges.

"Alright, we're set to hyper-jump to Naboo," Jag began, and then stopped when he saw Jaina's face.

"What's wrong?" He asked. Jaina rubbed her forehead.

"I'm getting a bad feeling from a lot places. I can't even pinpoint where each one is coming from," She said slowly. Jag watched her for a moment as she squeezed her eyes shut in concentration.

_Jacen? _She spoke into her mind.

_I'm a little busy, _He said. She could hear the strain in his voice.

_What's going on? _She questioned.

_The usual, someone's trying to kidnap Solo children. I'll take care of it. You focus on what you're doing. _His presence then changed abruptly and she could feel some pain through their bond.

_Jacen, if you need, help, you need to call someone. Don't struggle on your own with this._

She heard him laugh through their bond, _you sound like mom. I'll be fine, Jaina, save your worry for someone who needs it._

_Fine, but if you get hurt, don't come crying to me._

_As if I would, _He replied wryly.

_May the force be with you, Jace, _Jaina thought, putting all her emotion behind it to let Jacen know she wasn't kidding about it. Jacen seemed to have gotten the message because his response came in a gentle and honest single word.

_Always. _

Jaina broke the connection and then focused her attention on the second disturbance, the one coming from Aunt Mara. Jaina strained to get a feel for how her aunt was doing, but it was difficult as Mara seemed to have blocked all force connections.

_That's odd, _Jaina thought. "I've got a bad feeling about this." She out loud and Jag looked at her with concern. Her silence in the past few minutes had been troubling. Even for Jaina's usual Jedi meditation, she'd been especially twitchy and restless in the past few hours, a feeling that had only gotten steadily worse as time went on.

"You want to turn back?" He asked. Jaina sighed then shook her head emphatically.

"No, they'll be able to handle it. But I'm just worried about the outcome more than usual. I don't even know why."

"It's normal. You care a lot about your family and so you want to make sure they'll make it out of the toughest situations," Jag continued to plug in the information before turning his head to look at Jaina, "I have a feeling that it'll all work out."

Jaina regarded Jag curiously as he said this. Considering his own family's current issues, he was being abnormally calm and almost wistful. Though Jaina could see it in Jag's green eyes, the faltering light and the tremor coursing through him. Then she could feel it in the force, the insecurity Jag obviously was fighting to overcome. For his sake, as well as her own Jaina didn't want him to know that she could feel his pain as clearly as she could feel her own fear at the moment.

It was entirely possible, even if Jaina would never directly admit it to herself that things wouldn't turn out okay, that the galaxy would throw itself into another decade of chaos and would leave everyone more or less in pain.

Jaina had had dreams about that. Memories creeping into her mind of events that could have happened, or really that were just as frightening of what she was already living.

"_Go! Jacen, kiss Tahiri for me," _

Those words were the most chilling to Jaina, of all the ones that had accompanied her dreams. In the dream Anakin had been on the Mykyr mission and was already dying from a wound he obtained while protecting Jaina. Then at the end he was fighting off the Yuuzhan Vong and was fatally wounded and didn't even try to escape. In fact he stayed and said those words as he died.

Then from there the dream became more like a dizzying nightmare. One by one the people around Jaina in the dream became steadily lost. First Jacen returned from his supposed death after Mykyr, forever changed and because of that, he was no longer the brother Jaina knew and loved. Slowly he became all the things that he'd fought to protect during the Yuuzhan Vong war.

That was when he lost it and turned over to the dark side, letting loose a fury that Jaina couldn't place. Most of it seemed to stem from Anakin's death and the rest was rooted in Jacen's frustrations with the New Republic.

As the dream sunk further along with Jacen's continued atrocities, including the murder of Aunt Mara, and the turning of Tahiri, Jaina wasn't sure why she didn't try to wake herself up or that it didn't startle her into waking up. Then the worst came. Unable to stop Jacen, in the dream Jaina herself was forced to kill her twin, her brother, the one who had helped her through the toughest situations. After that, Jaina did wake up.

It seemed all too real, as though it could have happened in some bizarre other universe. A universe where Jacen and Anakin were both dead and the rest of the galaxy was in ruins because of it. That Jaina herself was no longer the same person either, that she was no longer able to love Zekk because of that.

Zekk himself had gone off to other places in the dream and in the end Tahiri was too ashamed of her previous actions to continue being a Jedi. In the end, the galaxy was no longer the hopeful place it had been before the Yuuzhan Vong war. More importantly, Jaina had lost her own sense of herself. With that drowning feeling of hopelessness, Jaina had woken up.

Reality set in and she had checked her force bond and found that both Anakin and Jacen were still alive, and although Zekk was dead, the galaxy wasn't finished yet, not by a long shot.

Jaina removed herself from her reverie, finding that her long meditation had calmed her somewhat. Seeing how much worse things could and might been, Jaina felt some relief.

"Feeling better?" Jag asked, seeing her expression. He was walking from the back of the ship with two rations containers. Jaina smiled.

"As much as I can be," She replied. Jag didn't comment on her response.

"You drifted out for a while, so I just took the hyperspace jump in the meantime," He handed her a rations box. "We'll be at Naboo in a few hours."

"Did you sleep?" Jaina questioned. Jag shook his head. The dark circles under his eyes or the emptiness with which he regarded his food, despite its dull appearance, was still something Jaina both noticed and worried about.

"You should, though," He replied, gesturing to the one room on the ship with a bed. "I'll take care of steering."

"Jag," Jaina said but it was either his sullen expression coupled with his distant eyes or his pained sigh that made Jaina initially decide to let the matter lie.

Jag watched Jaina leave the cockpit and then opened his clenched fist. A cracked picture frame on a chain spilled out onto the dashboard. Five people stood together, two taller people, one man with facial hair and a defined stature though his youth showed through his smile and eyes, green like the younger boy standing in front of him. The older man had his hand on the boy's shoulder, the boy who wasn't much older than thirteen, had a grin that almost broke his face. Then there was a little girl who was wrapped up in the arms of an older woman, around the same age as the older man. Then there was another dark haired Chiss boy around ten or eleven with fierce red eyes but despite his appearance as a Chiss, his human nature showed through as he had a protective hand on the younger girl's shoulder. The girl's wide eyes glittered and sparkled. All five stood close together and their faces all seemed light with the moment that had been captured in the photo, a moment of peace.

On the bottom of the photo was a messily scrawled date and then,

_Jag, Cem, Ed, Kyal, and Wyn. _

All it took was a moment for that photo to turn into just what it was literally and nothing more, a broken picture frame and a captured moment that would never again occur.

**A/N- Sorry this took so long to post, you know how Halloween gets. Anyways, I made this chapter a little bit longer to make up for the late posting. Thanks for reading! ^_^**


	13. Mind and Memory

**Chapter 12**

**Mind and Memory**

_A/N- Rar!!!!! (Don't ask me about that, because I have no idea why I said that). Anyhoo, I have to warn anyone who is reading this that there is about to be a major shift in tone for the next chapter (not this one, but definitely for the next one) and the action is going to jump up several notches. _

_As the author I only feel it's fair to warn my readers (without spoiling the story) when things are about to change and if there are those who did not read the warning I put in the introductory chapter, I suggest going back and doing so. _

_I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. The tone was rather downbeat, so I apologize if anyone was looking for something fluffier to read right now. I happen to be an adventure writer (which includes fluff at times) but my work has a lot of conflict and character development (psychologically) as its focus._

_In this chapter in particular I'm going back and referencing NJO, the films, and other SW books, so there might be some spoilers if you haven't read any of the Pre- JJK, YJK, and NJO novels. I'm currently reading "Dark Force Rising," so that should give everyone an idea of the kinds of references I'll be making. _

_Sorry about the delay in posting, I had a few things going on this week that kept me pretty busy (and I was trying to finish my Young Wizards fan fic "Life's Song" which I did and now I am focusing on this story and my YJK fan fic "Remember). _

_Join me in yelling "May the force be with you! !!" (Or not if you're in a place that requires quiet)._

_Without further ado, here's the next chapter. Please enjoy and be sure to hit the button when you're done!_

_-Don ^_^_

* * *

Jaina lifted her eyes as she crossed the mud cluttered jungle and stared with awe at the city she could see on the other side of the water. Jag had wanted to get a look at the jungle, and Jaina, despite her specialty not being nature, was more than willing to explore the planet she had never set foot on. In all her years of life she'd never quite experienced the atmosphere of a place like Naboo. It was something else entirely. The warm climate clung to her clothes and to her forehead in beads of sweat. But despite that she felt the planet's life through the force. It was so strong. This alone was enough to make Jaina more than curious to know who it was exactly that Uncle Luke had found on Naboo.

"Jaina," She turned to see Jag making his way through the jungle's vines and low hanging branches. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." She said, amazed to find her voice barely audible. Jag nodded his agreement.

"It's an incredible place, Naboo." Jag cast a glance around.

"You've been here before?" Jaina questioned. Jag nodded silently and his green eyes showed something close to peaceful reminiscence before returning to their usual harsh and guarded texture.

"Once, when I was very young," He tread carefully as he neared where Jaina was standing. "My father had some business with the Naboo Government and as part of our education all of us children were made to go along."

Jaina wondered at his choice of wording, he'd said 'all of us children,' did that mean his older siblings had been here that last time? Jaina watched Jag's eyes as they surveyed the water, an extremely conflicted expression coming over his face. Not wanting to upset him, Jaina decided it was better not to ask about his past.

After all, Jag had left hers well alone. Not for the right reason at the beginning, but he was now respectful of the fact that she had her own skeletons in the closet that she didn't want to talk about.

"We should go to the city now." Jag said plainly and without any feeling. He was back in his shell of apathy. The shell Jaina had gotten used to seeing off. She briefly wondered if that was partially her fault since she'd dragged him to Naboo with her. Well, maybe not dragged, but ever since she'd brought it up he'd insisted on going with her and not only that he'd been subdued about the whole subject. It was hard to make sense of what Jag Fel was thinking right now, let alone what he was feeling.

After taking off, it only took fifteen minutes or so to reach the city and a landing zone. Naboo was heavily secured so an officer as well as armed soldiers in New Republic uniforms met them at the bottom of Jaina's ship's ramp. She showed them her ID and explained that she was a Jedi and who she was there to find. The officer's face turned curious as well as harsh.

"Naberrie?" He repeated, his tone was almost protective. "Are you someone trying to interrogate her about her sister?"

Jaina blinked and then recovered, keeping her tone diplomatic like her mother had taught her to. "I'm not here to interrogate anyone. I'm just trying to find out about my family."

The officer's eyes narrowed as he processed Jaina's response then widened. "Family? You mean that you're-?" Jaina nodded.

"That's what I'm here to find out." She replied calmly. The officer gestured for the soldiers to dismiss and they filed away.

"Then allow me to take you there myself," He smiled, his young face was one of around twenty, his rich brown hair gently fell across his face in tufts. "My grandmother has been looking for clues to her past for a long time."

Jaina paused, "Your grandmother?"

He nodded and then stepped off to the side to where a landspeeder was parked. "Sola Naberrie. We've all been wondering when the force would bring our family back to us. It's been a painful long time," He climbed into the driver's seat and motioned for Jaina and Jag to join him. "My name is Jobal," He said, indicating with his tone that he wanted to know both his passengers' names as well.

"Jaina Solo," Jaina replied, her own curiosity mounting by the minute about this man as well as his connection to Jaina's family.

"Jagged Fel," Jag replied. Jobal's eyes flicked back for a second before he turned the landspeeder around a corner.

"Fel? You must be the son of Baron Soontir Fel," Jobal observed. Jag's eyes went cold at that but Jobal couldn't see that. Jaina, however, could and she shot Jag a warning glance.

Jag's voice remained forcefully neutral. "I am."

"A good man, or so my grandmother always says," Jobal continued, "He helped Naboo through some rough spots over the years."

Jag's eyes seemed to grow wide at hearing that. "He did?"

Jobal arched his brow, "You never knew about that?"

Jag frowned, "My father doesn't like to talk about who he helps unless it has to do with war."

Jobal shook his head, "Well, what he did for us had nothing to do with war. In fact he prevented the possible outbreak of war between Naboo and another planet."

Jag opened his mouth then shut it. Jaina was beginning to wonder if she'd imagined him doing that because Jag was never, not in all the time that she'd known him, rendered speechless to the point where he'd shut his mouth after opening it. Jobal, as she and Jag found out, was a quick topic changer. He went through them like a hutt going through to spend all its money.

"Solo?" Jobal repeated out loud, looking up at the sky for a second before snagging what he wanted to say. "Ah! Solo, I knew that sounded familiar. You must be the daughter of Leia Organa Solo and Han Solo, right?"

"That's right," Jaina said, a tad warily. She was wondering what he had to say about her family now that Jobal was done talking about Jag's. _Oh, joy, this should be fun._

"Anakin Solo's your younger brother, I've heard quite a bit about him," Jobal said, and from Jaina's look of surprise, it was clear he hadn't gone in the direction she'd expected him to.

"Yeah, he is," Jaina replied, still getting over her surprise. Jobal grinned. "An amazing Jedi like him is sure to go far," He waved his hand towards the palace as they passed it. "Our newest Queen has been after the Jedi Order to get Anakin to come here."

Jaina narrowed her eyes, "Here? Why here?"

Jobal made a face as though he wasn't sure if she was serious, "Why? Because Naboo hasn't seen Jedi since the Old Republic Days, and we'd like to have one live here to help us."

Jaina sighed, "I understand that, but why Anakin?"

Jobal raised an eyebrow, "He's your brother, isn't he?"

"I think we've established this fact," Jag put in firmly. Jobal decided to avoid asking more obvious questions due to the glare he received from Jag as Jobal glanced behind him.

"Well," Jobal began, licking his lips nervously, "Fact is that Naboo has been hiding Jedi since the Emperor killed the others off. Naboo was the prime target of criticism during the Yuuzhan Vong invasion. We would have been overrun if the Chiss military hadn't stepped in when they did," Jobal's dark blue eyes narrowed and a frown crossed his face, "All of us on Naboo believe that having a Master to teach the Jedi here would be most beneficial and crucial to Naboo's revival in the galaxy."

Jaina mulled over that. So that's what it was. Everyone seemed to think Anakin would become a Master and become one even earlier than Luke Skywalker had. In fact, Jaina knew Anakin had already taken on his first student, and though they hadn't officially begun training, it was clear that Anakin was now, at least in the eyes of one alien race, a Master.

"He has a student," Jaina decided to say. Jobal turned his head in surprise then returned his attention to driving as they reached the spaceport where a public shuttle waited. He stopped the landspeeder.

"Please follow me," He said and got out of the landspeeder. Jaina and Jag followed him onto the shuttle and he paid the driver before taking an unoccupied seat. Jaina and Jag sat across from Jobal.

" Please explain," Jobal said, "About this student." Jaina paused and considered what to say.

"Anakin found his student on a planet called Zenoma Sekot, and decided to become his teacher," Jaina said plainly, "There's not too much else I can tell you about it." Jaina's voice made it clear that she wasn't going to elaborate and Jobal abandoned the topic.

"You still haven't explained why Anakin's the one who has to teach and no someone else." Jaina pointed out. Jobal shook his head with a sigh.

"You would not understand. There are some, like my sister, who believe Anakin is to be the savior of Naboo."

"The what?" Jaina said with a sardonic tone and with a large amount of disbelief. This was crazy. Anakin was barely nineteen years old and they expected him to be their savior?

"Ah, here we are," Jobal pointed out the window. Jaina turned her head slightly to gaze out the window. Below them were fields of the greatest amount of green and an abundance of flowers. As the fields went on they turned to plains and then to hills and near the top of one of the hills was a vast house that spanned the entire hill. It was large enough house more than one family Jaina noted.

"That is where we'll be landing," Jobal pointed to the small gravel landing pad constructed right next to the house. Jaina was impressed. Not even in all her life had she seen such a beautiful house or location for a home in her entire life.

The shuttle settled down and after its passengers stepped out, it took off once more. "Come," Jobal said, motioning for Jag and Jaina to once again follow him. Jobal had barely reached the door when it swung open and a woman of about thirty with bright brown hair like Jobal's and eyes of a brilliant hazel that had more green than brown strode out.

"Jobal!" She growled as she went out and immediately grabbed his ear and tugged him to the side, "What are you doing bringing strangers here?"

"Ow, ow, they wanted to talk to Grandmother, Lily," Jobal managed to breath out before the woman released him with a rough push.

"Oh, is that right?" She sounded more amiable now. Jobal rubbed his ear as Lily walked over to Jaina.

Lily proffered her hand, "I'm Lily Veila," She smiled at Jaina's eyes as they went wide, "Jobal's my annoying little brother but he's a good guy," Lily frowned, "I'm sorry if he scared you, he tends to talk too much."

"No, it's just," Jaina looked carefully at Lily, "Your surname, it's the same as a friend of mine."

Lily took her turn to look surprised. "You know another Veila?"

"I think," Jobal interrupted, "Maybe we should go inside and continue this conversation, it might take a while." Lily took a moment to process what her brother and Jaina had said, then gestured.

"Let's get you two settled, you'll be staying the night?" She looked from Jag to Jaina.

"Jag?" Jaina asked. He stiffened a little before nodding his head. "I've got some questions of my own," Jaina said, "So I'd love to get started as soon as possible."

"We'll be happy to answer all your questions," Lily replied as they walked inside the front door and into a pristinely clean yet homey hallway. It had furniture cluttered with books, letters, notes, and all manner of items. Some toys lay on the floor.

"Oh, sorry about that," Lily said with a fond smile, "My kids are a little messy."

As if on cue a high pitched scream of delight sounded from the stairway at the end of the hall and just before the kitchen and started Jaina slightly, "Mommy!" a little girl of around five ran over to be scooped up by Lily.

"Padme, where's your brother?" She asked. The little girl made a pouting face.

"Noka wouldn't play with me so I left him in the fields," Padme, a girl with brownish gold hair and green eyes struck Jaina as bearing a strange resemblance to Tahiri Veila in her eye color and the golden tone in Padme's hair.

"Well, go find your brother, Padme, or you don't get any supper tonight," Lily said, letting Padme down on the floor.

"Okay," Padme droned and then scurried off down the hallway and out the backdoor in the far end of the hall. Now Jaina was completely confused. Padme definitely looked a lot like Tahiri Veila and the last name wasn't exactly common either.

"Are you sure it is okay to let such a small child wander around outside?" Jag inquired. Jaina soon realized Jag was right. Lily laughed.

"There's nothing out there except a few animals and none of them are dangerous. Besides, Padme can easily find Noka without looking," Lily turned and entered the living room, which was directly connected with the kitchen. Jag and Jaina took that as their cue to enter and Lily gestured for them to sit down.

"Wait," Jaina said as she sat down, "You said that Padme could find Noka without looking?"

Lily nodded as got up, went into the kitchen and returned swiftly with a tray of cups and pot of tea and one with coffee. "Oh, Jobal didn't mention this to you?" Lily cast a glance at her brother who shrugged.

"My husband, Mortimer, is one of the last survivors of the Veila Jedi clan on Naboo," Lily stated, "His ancestors have been hidden here since the Old Republic days," Lily then said, "Noka and Padme are force sensitive like Mortimer."

Anakin lifted his head slightly to watch Jesse as he piloted the ship.

"Anakin," Tahiri's voice sharply cut into his concentration, "Stop trying to burn a hole in Jesse's back with your eyes and get over here." Anakin sighed before turning around the corner to where Tahiri was.

"I don't get why you can't just trust him just this once,"

"Once is enough to get you killed," Anakin replied shortly. Tahiri poked him in the chest.

"You really need to lighten up, Anakin. Not everything is a life and death battle and not everyone is your enemy."

He sighed, "Look, I'm just trying to make sure we don't get killed." He gave her a worried look that, through their bond, Tahiri could feel his honest misgivings.

"Worst comes to worst, I'll be the one reacting first," Tahiri said, "I can sense Jesse's feelings more than you can."

Anakin frowned, "That's what worries me."

Tahiri arched her brow, clearly confused. Anakin frowned, his forehead forming deep creases. "I don't trust Jesse to know that any mind to mind contact could hurt you."

Tahiri gave a derisive snort, "Come on, Anakin," Tahiri folded her arms across her chest, "Since when could mind to mind contact hurt me?"

"Since I know that mind talk can kill someone," He replied with the fear and anger evident in his voice. Tahiri felt a shiver run down her spine. _Where did that come from?_ She wondered. Anakin had been acting strange ever since he'd met Jesse.

"What do you mean 'since I know mind talk can kill someone'?" Tahiri questioned. _More importantly, how in the force did Anakin know something like that? _

"I have memories that aren't my own, remember?" Anakin said, as if sensing her train of thought. "Obi Wan had some memories of the Veila clan before they were exiled and some other facts that Qui Gon Jinn gave to Obi Wan too," Anakin's blue eyes expanded then shrunk quickly as he continued his sentence, "Maybe Jesse neglected to mention the real reasoning behind the exile."

"Real reasoning?" Tahiri repeated dubiously, "Anakin, that's just crazy talk," She scowled, "What could possibly be the real reasoning?"

He folded his own arms and his tone became icy to confront Tahiri's disbelief, "I'm not about to stick around to find out. The minute we find Aunt Mara we're leaving."

"Anakin, don't give me that bantha shit," Tahiri snapped, "There's something you're not telling me."

Anakin opened his mouth then shut it. "Never mind." He then turned the corner and entered one of the sleeping quarters, closing the door behind him.

_Ugh, _Tahiri moaned to herself, _I hate it when he gets like this. _Anakin was clearly hiding something and Tahiri couldn't get a feel for what it was. What worried her more was that it had something to do with her lost and now newly discovered family and moreover that it was bothering Anakin to the point where he didn't even want to be in the same room as Jesse.

Tahiri held her head in her palm. "Anakin still doesn't want to trust me, huh?" Jesse said, causing Tahiri to start to reach for her lightsaber.

"He has his own reasons and past experiences have given him enough reason to trust in them," Tahiri replied sullenly. Jesse smiled wryly.

"What do you think?"

"Me?" Tahiri considered for a moment then eyed Jesse suspiciously.

"Yes, I want to know what you think, not what Anakin thinks."

"You honestly expect me to tell you?" Tahiri asked with some edge in her tone to indicate that he wasn't going to be able convince her to go behind Anakin's back. She stepped forward for a second and then glared at Jesse then stared at the floor, "Listen, Jesse. I'd love to just trust you, but the fact of the matter is that I don't trust you any more than Anakin does," She lifted her gaze from the floor, "That said, if I were you I wouldn't try another backstabbing stunt or I'll be out of here faster than you can say 'may the force be with you." Tahiri then rounded the corner and without knocking, entered the room Anakin was in closing the door firmly behind her.

"Anakin?" She said then noticed that Anakin was asleep and had a strained expression on his face. He was as pale as he was when they were on Tatooine if not more so. She quietly made her way over and winced as Anakin's breathing became more ragged and raspy. It would have seemed to her like another one of his nightmares if he hadn't let out cry and then yelled, "Don't!" Anakin then threw himself towards the wall and would have hit his head on the metal if she hadn't grabbed him. His eyes snapped open at Tahiri's rough grasp.

"Tahiri?" He said, placing a hand on his head then looking up at her from his reclined position.

"What was that about, Anakin? I haven't seen you look this sick since Tatooine," She finally managed to voice exactly what her concerns were. Anakin averted his gaze but still responded.

"The visions are getting worse," He stated.

"What visions?" Tahiri asked, the confusion mounting in her voice.

"Remember how I told you that I'd gotten all the memories of the people I'd met in the void?" Tahiri nodded slowly, still not sure where Anakin was going with this. "Well, I'm now having visions about their pasts and visions of our future because of their memories."

Tahiri blinked back her confusion, "Wait, you mean that you're getting any of the visions that people like Obi-Wan might have had if they were alive?" Tahiri shook her head, "That's not possible, I mean you can't-"

Anakin nodded, "That's exactly what I'm saying," He said slowly and swallowed, "And they're getting worse, more eerily realistic."

Tahiri blanched to the point where she was almost as pale as Anakin was, "What did you see just now?"

He shook his head, "I can't tell you."

"Anakin, I need to know, we're in this together, remember?"

"Not this. I can't tell you." He said firmly, still not meeting her gaze. Tahiri tightened her grip on his shoulders.

"Anakin, whatever it is, I can handle it," She insisted and gently squeezed his shoulders to give him confidence. But she drew back as they started to shake and tremble along with Anakin's entire body.

Anakin looked at her, "I'm sorry, Tahiri," He choked out weakly, his voice barely above a whisper, "I'm so sorry,"

"What are you talking about?" She said, now more than just worried, he was scaring her. "Anakin, tell me what's going on!"

He then opened his mind and all the images from the vision flooded into her mind as well. Tahiri released her grip on his shoulders and then slumped onto the bed as she processed the information. It drained her. Nothing in the vision seemed to bring comfort or any form of reason.

"Is-is this what's going to happen?" She asked, her own voice almost failing her. Anakin shook his head over and over again.

"I don't know, Tahiri, I just-" He gritted his teeth, trying to keep back whatever emotion was trying to escape him and come into the open. "I'm sorry. I couldn't do anything for you." He then stood up and left the room. Tahiri reflected on the vision. No matter how many times she ran it through her head, she couldn't find another way for it to end. Now Tahiri knew what had bothered him and it was no wonder Anakin didn't want to tell her about it, now she knew that in the vision he was more helpless than she was and that he had to sit by and watch the events unfold.

"Force sensitive?" Jaina repeated then turned to look at Jobal, "So your niece and nephew were the ones you wanted Anakin to teach?"

Lily frowned at this, "What did you tell her, Jobal?"

"The truth, Lily," Jobal answered fiercely, "That the age where Naboo can just sit by and watch as our people are crushed is over. We need Jedi."

"My kids, Jobal," Lily said firmly, "Will not become Jedi. Or do you want to bring more pain to this family?"

Jaina looked from one to the other, thoroughly confused and feeling like she was listening to something she shouldn't be.

"Why not?!" Jobal yelled back, "Anyone would kill to have powers like theirs and you're just going to let it rot?"

"They're not your kids, Jobal!" Lily screamed back. He stepped back, as if stung.

"You're right, they're not," He answered frostily and then in a more calmly subdued voice said, "I'm not fit to decide, am I?"

"Enough," Another voice, this time from the doorway cut in. Jaina turned to look at the thinly built older woman hobbling into the room, leaning heavily on a cane. She looked from Jobal to Lily and back again. "I'll not have our guests frightened by your squabbles."

"But Grandmother Sola-" Lily began but the older woman waved her hand sharply.

"Sit down, Lily," She stated and simultaneously Lily and Jobal obeyed. Jaina gazed at the older woman.

"You'll be Jaina Solo, then?" She asked Jaina, who nodded.

"I have some questions for you if you won't mind this old lady's blabbering," Sola said, taking a seat next to Jaina.

"If you'll allow me to ask you some in return, I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have." Jaina replied.

"That," Sola said, "Should be no problem. I give lengthy answers so you'll excuse me if I go first."

Jaina inclined her head, "No, go ahead." Jaina was just as curious to know what Sola could possibly want to ask Jaina when there was the entire holo-net open for information and Jobal and Lily to find things out.

"What do you know of the name Kirk Dekim?"

**A/N- Heh, heh, I'm evil, it's a cliffie. But you'll get more this weekend, I promise. I'm trying to not fall behind in postings but college is busy. Please review! =)**


	14. The Legacy of Anakin Skywalker

**Chapter 13**

**The Legacy of Anakin Skywalker**

_A/N- Sorry for the delay in chapters. I had to find a job for my college's job term (and I ended up taking two and splitting the hours, I was lucky to be able to do that). Thanks for being patient. _

_Prepare for a really long chapter because that's exactly what this is and there's also a ton of action (which means violence too), so hang on to your seats and get ready for the story to take off. _

_Finally. _

__ Ouch, I think I just insulted myself. _

_Oh, and there's a reference in here that will be better explained in my other AU story (that hasn't begun yet, but I will start it soon) titled "Somewhere Out There." I decided to link this series with that story and create an AU back-story/past for the Star Wars AU galaxy I've created (based on Lucas' creations of course, so I don't own anything- except my computer). _

_Don't worry, all will be explained (in fact there's a lot of explanation in this chapter that will lead up to the action that is to take place)._

_Thanks to jediluver033 for the song suggestion! _

_Please enjoy and don't fear the green button!! _

_-Don ^_^_

* * *

The secret side of me, I never let you see  
I keep it caged but I can't control it  
So stay away from me, the beast is ugly  
I feel the rage and I just can't hold it

It's scratching on the walls, in the closet, in the halls  
It comes awake and I can't control it  
Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head  
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun  
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster

My secret side I keep hid under lock and key  
I keep it caged but I can't control it  
'Cause if I let him out he'll tear me up, break me down  
Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end?

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun  
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster

It's hiding in the dark, it's teeth are razor sharp  
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart  
No one can hear me scream, maybe it's just a dream  
Maybe it's inside of me, stop this monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun  
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin  
I must confess that I feel like a monster  
I've gotta lose control, he something radical  
I must confess that I feel like a monster

I, I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster  
I, I feel like a monster

-From the song "Monster" by Skillet

* * *

The sounds of crumbling had ended and Mara couldn't be sure if she was only hearing them because she was in the process of dying and if she knew anything about death, it was that hearing was the last of the senses to go. But one thing told her that wasn't it. She could still feel the weight of the metal beams on top of her. She knew something was probably broken because she was in a state of numbed shock. Mara shifted her hand and received a searing pain through her forearm. _That's broken too,_ She thought with a bitter smile. Her eyes still didn't want to open so she relied on sound and touch alone. The pain was enough to tell her to stay still. Though that didn't say anything for whoever was yelling around her and then tearing through the wreckage to find her.

"Is she okay?" One voice asked. It sounded familiar, though Mara couldn't be sure because she was too preoccupied with trying to heal herself with the force to sense who it was.

"I can't see her yet," A second voice replied, "Can you give me a hand with this?"

"Why don't we just levitate it off her?" A third voice, definitely not familiar to Mara, suggested.

"Because," The second voice responded coldly, "If we do that, something _else_ might fall on her."

"Wait, I can see somewhere where we can lift her out," The first voice jumped in and Mara could hear the clanking of metal as the group of people made their way across the wreckage.

"I can see her," The second voice said, and then Mara felt the weight lifting from her back as the beam went up into the air and then was cast into the pile of broken beams. "Aunt Mara, can you hear me?"

Mara then recognized the voice. "Anakin?"

"Thank the force, she's alive," The first voice Mara now recognized as Tahiri's. The third Mara still wasn't sure about. She felt herself being lifted up into the arms of someone. She could hear the vibrations on the chest of the person and the voice she knew was Anakin's. "I'll carry her back to the ship. You guys get ready to head out."

_When did Anakin get so strong? He was just a little boy a while ago? Now he can carry me without an effort. _Mara wondered. Within ten minutes Mara was lying on the soft bedding of a ship's infirmary and her eyesight had cleared enough to look up at Anakin and Tahiri who were seated next to her bed.

"I cut myself off," Mara said, "How did you sense me?"

Anakin rubbed his neck, "About that, we had help from someone else. I only had a vague sense of where you were."

Mara gaped wordlessly at Anakin when he said that_. He could sense me even with me even with my strongest force block up? Nobody except Vader or the Emperor would be able to do something like that. Not even Luke was strong enough to break it. Even Vader would have had some trouble. _But Anakin had found her and found her in time to save her. That was enough to make Mara worry how strong Anakin Solo was really becoming.

He was now immersed in a discussion with Tahiri when he noticed Mara's gaze on him. "Aunt Mara, is something wrong?"

"Besides the obvious, Anakin? She was almost crushed," Tahiri pointed out. Anakin threw her a frown before returning his attention to Mara.

"Tahiri, I would like to talk to Anakin alone," Mara said finally. Tahiri looked into Anakin's now conflicted blue eyes and then stood up. She only hoped this one on one talk wasn't about something overly serious.

"Thank you, Tahiri, we won't be long," Mara assured her as Tahiri exited the room, casting a worried glance over her shoulder at Anakin, who sent her reassuring thoughts through their bond. As soon as the door was closed and Mara was sure that Tahiri was down the hallway. She turned to look Anakin straight on.

"Anakin, I want to know what you've been doing these past months and why you were able to sense me through my force block. Don't tell me you don't know, because I know you do. I know about your use of force fire and I know more than that. I know about Tahiri's heritage," Mara met Anakin's expression of surprise with one of calm. "The Empire knew many things about the Old Republic that even the highest New Republic leaders wouldn't be able to even figure out on their own. We made it our business to know who was in the galaxy and who wasn't."

Anakin swallowed and continued to keep his blue eyes determined as he faced his aunt. "The Emperor, unlike the Old Republic, was very interested in the Veila family legacy. In fact, he hired some of them to keep a watch over some of the planets," Mara's frown deepened the creases in her forehead. "Including two major planets in the history of the war," Mara paused, "Naboo and Tatooine," She regarded Anakin now with the force, "Two planets where Anakin Skywalker was known to have spent time."

Anakin opened his mouth then shut it. The Emperor was aware of Anakin Skywalker for longer than people in the Old Republic thought.

"This was before I even worked for the Emperor. I stumbled upon this information later on when I began my training. The Veila family was used by the Emperor to eliminate threats and all of them were in a small covert ops team only known to the Emperor and Vader," Mara frowned, "It wasn't until one of them turned on Empire and killed some innocent citizens that Vader was ordered to kill them all. The 501st was on the mission specifically. Those that survived escaped to Mykyr where the Ylasmiri hid their force presences."

Once again Anakin was rendered silent and his eyes became cold, "What does this have to do with me breaking your force block?"

"Everything," Mara answered fiercely, "Anakin, the only reason you were able to find me is because you have the exact same ability to break into people's minds as the Veila clan had and Vader. Though the Veila clan's was much stronger and that's why the Emperor wanted to kill them. He couldn't even handle them."

"That's impossible," Anakin said flatly, "How could I have ability like that and Tahiri doesn't?"

Mara scowled, "I never said she didn't. I only said that yours is stronger than any member of the Veila clan," She looked sadly at him, "I can tell because of the color of your force fire."

Anakin lowered his gaze, "So my vision isn't out of the question."

"Vision?" Mara asked, brow furrowing to cast shadows over her eyes, "Anakin, be wary of how seriously you take visions," She took a meditative pause, "Because it is often our fear of visions that destroy us, not the content of the visions themselves."

Anakin looked at her knowingly, "You're talking about Anakin Skywalker, aren't you?"

She nodded, "You know about his story?"

"His story is as much a part of me now as it is him," Anakin replied, "The void did that to me."

Mara sucked in her breath, "Did it ever occur to you, Anakin, that reflecting on the memories of someone else might cause you to have visions?"

He shrugged, "No one told me anything about the void's existence in the first place so when I went there I didn't really know what to expect."

Mara regarded Anakin for a moment before responding, "Well, I can't say I've been there myself. But it was the knowledge of the void that the Emperor had that lured Anakin Skywalker to the dark side. The Emperor promised Anakin Skywalker that the dark side could save Padme while he light side couldn't," Mara shook her head, "In a way, the Emperor was both right and wrong."

"You mean the Emperor didn't know that by being one with the light side of the force you could reach the void too?"

"Or by using both you could get out of the void alive," Mara said, looking straight into Anakin's eyes at that comment. Anakin maintained his calm by using the force calming techniques his uncle had taught him but it wasn't enough to keep the defensiveness out of his voice.

"I'm not, and I will never be Anakin Skywalker," Anakin's voice was almost a growl. His blue eyes shone with the frustration he felt all over his body.

"I'm not saying you are, Anakin." Mara said gently, "But you have to be careful what you choose to do with the powers that you have," She paused to amend her statement, "Should you choose to use them at all."

He sat back in his chair, "I'm using it because being balanced with the two is better than fighting losing a battle against using the dark side," He smiled at his aunt, "But you can leave the chiding to Tahiri, she's got it well covered."

Mara had to smile back at that, Anakin was his normal self despite what strengths he had obtained through his force fire and the mind breaking. But both powers were ones that could be abused without the user's consent. So Mara knew she had to keep an eye on Anakin or at the very least tell him about the consequences. He had a right to know himself. The worst thing to do would be to keep Anakin in the dark and watch him struggle. Which Mara would never do.

"Listen, Anakin," Mara said, "I don't doubt that you know or are learning how to control these powers. But there is something else you should be aware of," Her eyes went sharp, "The more you try to break into the mind's of others, the more you lose control of your own mind. That's why so many of the Veila betrayed the Empire, they'd lost control over who they were breaking and why. It ended with the deaths of many people, and some were fellow members of the Veila clan. Many of them chose to leave each other and forget their abilities. The Emperor left those members alone and the rest were hunted down and killed."

_Typical Imperial tactics, _Anakin thought wryly. Then he thought briefly of Jesse. He must have been one of the escaped members or was kidnapped by one of them. By how old Jesse was, Anakin guessed it was the latter. There was also the story Jesse had told Anakin and Tahiri about his past. If it was true, then all the pieces of the puzzle fit together.

"Then what is it that I should do?" Anakin asked his tone bitter. "Just leave my abilities alone and separate myself from everyone else?" He laughed, "Because that's not something I'm willing to do."

"Spending time alone would help you get a better handle on your abilities, Anakin," Mara pointed out, "And prevent unnecessary harm to those around you."

"I would never hurt anyone!" Anakin answered incredulously. Mara sighed.

"I know you'd never do that intentionally. But your abilities aren't the kind that you can learn to control with others around you."

"You're wrong."

Anakin's and Mara's heads turned at that. Jesse leaned against the doorjamb, arms folded across his chest, casually regarding them before turning his gaze to the floor. "What Anakin needs is a teacher, and if that is to be, he needs someone who knows about his abilities," Jesse lifted his eyes to meet Mara's.

"Mara Jade," He said with a bitter smile, "How nice it is to see the one who murdered my family so courteously." The irony in his voice at that statement did not go unnoticed by either Anakin or Mara. They both frowned deeply.

"Anakin, who is this?" Mara turned to Anakin, whose jaw was set, and his eyes flaring.

"This is Jesse Veila," Anakin replied, "Tahiri's twin brother."

Jaina's expression was one of shock and curiosity. "Kirk Dekim?" _Wasn't that the name of the Master who was once a student of Uncle Luke's? What does he have to do with this family? _

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should have explained that better," Sola said with an apologetic smile, "Kirk Dekim is the grandson of an old, old, friend of our family."

"An old friend?" Jaina questioned. What did this lady mean by old friend? _I don't actually know anything about Kirk other than what Uncle Luke mentioned or the few times I've seen him talking with Anakin. _

"Well, you see, the Dekim family has long been friends with the Veila family," Jobal said, "And the Kenobi family."

That name did ring a bell in Jaina's head. "Kenobi? The Kenobi line ended with Ben Kenobi, he was a Jedi."

"Jedi or not," Sola cut in before Jobal could respond to Jaina's comment, "Kirk's grandfather, Birk Dekim knew Ben Kenobi personally. He also knew what happened to him after he became a Jedi because he was Ben's closest confidant." Sola shifted and reached over to the table to pick up a record book. She then handed it to Jaina. "Look in here, tell me if you see something familiar about the first page."

Jaina opened the book and right there on the inside cover the following words were written in a jagged script:

_To Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi,_

_I have sought you out for a long time, but since you have not responded to my holo-messages, I am assuming I will not see you for a while. I have given Jedi Skywalker this record book to give to you when the time comes that the galaxy will need to remember what all the Jedi have forgotten. I know you haven't._

_When you know what I'm talking about, you will be able to find me. _

_-Kaina Veila_

Jaina remained silent for a moment. None of this made sense. Who was Kaina Veila and why was she writing to Obi-Wan Kenobi? Also, what did Kirk Dekim have to do with this?

"It's a lot to take in, I know," Sola said, "But we too have been wondering who this Kaina Veila is. We searched around and only came across evidence that she was the wife of Birk Dekim. My guess was that something happened and Obi-Wan asked Birk to take care of her. Who she was to Obi-Wan, I am not sure."

Jaina looked at Sola, "So all these people knew Anakin Skywalker somehow?"

"Knew him?" Sola laughed, "Jaina, Anakin Skywalker practically lived here for a time. He was in love with my sister after all. It's only natural that the man would know the family of the woman he loved. But soon after some turmoil erupted in the Republic, about which we heard very little from neither Padme nor Anakin. Shortly after that, we heard Padme had died. What became of Anakin Skywalker, we never knew," Sola shook her head, "We were hoping you would know something about Kirk Dekim since he is directly related to Birk Dekim and Kirk's father, Herron."

Jaina shook her head, "I'm sorry, I don't know anything about them. My brother, Anakin, might," Jaina answered, "I could bring him here."

Sola glanced up at the name, "Anakin? Anakin Solo?" Sola's eyes became wide as well as frightened, "No, no, we cannot bring him here. There is too much here that is connected to the past. A boy like him is sure to get caught up in the tales rather than the facts."

_Wow, that was pretty accurate for someone who's never met Anakin in person, _Jaina observed to herself.

Sola continued to shake her head, "I cannot ask Anakin Solo to come here. He is not his grandfather and his grandfather is not he." Sola gave a cool glance at Jobal, whose mouth was twitching in protest. "That is the end of it."

Jaina however, still had questions, "Excuse me, Mrs. Naberrie."

"Please, call me Sola. Nobody has called me Mrs. Naberrie," Sola replied with a smile.

"Sola," Jaina corrected, "What kind of person was Anakin Skywalker?"

"What kind of person?" Sola repeated, "Well, he was a genuine person, he never would have dreamed of doing wrong to anyone."

"Sorry, I should have been more specific," Jaina said, pausing to think about her wording, "I mean who were his closest acquaintances besides Padme?"

"You mean his friends?" Sola asked. "I don't recall him having many of those. Anakin was mostly a loner type. It seemed a miracle that even Padme had gained his trust. Anakin wanted nothing more than to be a well respected Jedi and the only other person I can think of who might have been his friend was Meka."

"Meka?" Jaina asked. This time it was Emily who replied.

"Meka was the only remaining relative of Obi-Wan. That's what the blood tests showed at least. She knew Anakin through Obi-Wan and because of Obi-Wan made it her responsibility to honor Anakin Skywalker's name."

Jaina and Jag exchanged glances, "Do you think that it's her?" She asked Jag. He tilted his head in a thoughtful way.

"It could be. We would have to ask her," He said. Jaina turned back to Emily.

"Do you know where we could find this Meka?"

Sola shook her head, "Unfortunately none of us have heard from her in a long time. Last we heard she had gone missing."

"Missing?" Jaina groaned. She was not in the mood for unraveling another mystery.

"Yes, during the Yuuzhan Vong War she disappeared and nobody has heard from her since then," Jobal answered, "Why?"

Jaina turned to look at Jobal, "Because someone left a rose on the grave of Anakin Skywalker and we were thinking it might have been Meka."

"It does seem like the type of gift Meka would leave," Emily said with a nod, "But as far as we were concerned, Meka was killed in the war."

"Killed?" Jaina asked tentatively, "I thought you said she disappeared?"

"Euphemism," Jobal put in, "Meka was reported dead along with everyone else who was taken by the Yuuzhan Vong from her home planet."

Jaina grimaced. The Yuuzhan Vong rarely left any prisoners alive, even if their prisoners were left alive, they didn't have much life left in them afterwards. Most were shells of their former selves and carried both literal and non-literal scarring. Jaina knew Anakin had some from his experience as a prisoner and he certainly didn't tell anyone about it, except on a rare occasion he confided in Tahiri. But he never told Han or Leia, leastways Jaina or Jacen. Anakin was also not the type to let other share his burdens, no matter how heavy they were.

"Do you know for sure if she's dead?" Jaina felt the need to ask. There were some survivors found after the Yuuzhan Vong's conquered planets were liberated.

"No, but perhaps she does not want to be around us after a traumatic experience with the Yuuzhan Vong. I would not blame her in the least. Though do not take my word for it. If she is indeed alive, I would like to see her again." Sola answered with a hint of tired sadness in her voice.

"Grandmother," Jobal said soothingly. He turned to Jaina, "If you could find her, we would be grateful to you. Meka is very much like family to us since she was family to Obi-Wan and so too to Anakin Skywalker."

Jaina considered for a moment. She'd already started on this journey and she wanted to know as much as the next person who would leave a rose on the grave of Anakin Skywalker. "I'll look for her.

Sola brightened, "Oh, I'm so glad. You know, you really do look a great deal like Padme did a long time ago. Both of you have a natural beauty about you."

Jaina flushed a little red, "Thank you."

Anakin sat on his bed facing the wall, his knees drawn up so that his arm hung loosely over it. Mara had wanted to talk to Jesse alone about his past and find out if he was lying, at least Anakin knew that was what she wanted. After hearing that Jesse was a Veila and not only that, Tahiri's twin brother to boot, Anakin was sure Mara had more in mind than just questioning. He could only guess that she planned to grill the force out of Jesse, though Anakin was relieved that he himself wouldn't have to do that as Jesse was unyielding to any of Anakin's questions.

He ran a hand over his chin and then dropped it to his side, hanging his head. Things were becoming so complicated that he couldn't even keep a handle on his own emotions anymore. He turned as a firm hand gripped his shoulder.

"You okay?" Tahiri asked. He shrugged.

"Confused, but fine," Was his honest response. Tahiri sat down next to him on the bed.

"You're worried about the vision." She stated. He turned his head to look at her.

"You're not?"

"I'm just thinking that we have a choice in the matter. I mean it is our future, right?" She raised her eyebrow and a bright emerald colored eye graced Anakin with a knowing look.

"I just don't want things to end that way." Anakin said, leaning his head on his knees. Tahiri pulled his head back up.

"Then they don't have to," She frowned slightly, "If it's your life, then you should live it the way you want to. Don't worry about what some vision says."

"But it's _my _vision, Tahiri. About _us_." He pointed out.

"Exactly," She said calmly, "Then we're the ones who'll decide what happens." She reached out and gripped Anakin's hand. "Together."

His blue eyes softened then he nodded. "I just don't want to see you hurt like you were in the vision."

Tahiri looked at Anakin, "You don't want to see me hurt?" He nodded, "Then don't go anywhere. If you stay here and stay yourself, I won't be."

"That's not what I meant," Anakin protested, but Tahiri poked his nose. He looked slightly affronted but more confused than anything else.

"But that's what _I_ meant, Dummy."

"Tahiri," Anakin groaned.

"Sorry, but I've already made up my mind."

"I'm guessing that means you've made up _my _mind too?" He arched his brow.

"Yup, since you're being Mr. Indecisive, I've made up your mind for you." She grinned, "Don't look so upset, I can make good decisions."

"Really?" Anakin said sarcastically, "Since when?"

"Now," She answered and kissed him full on the lips, then smirked at Anakin's reaction of surprise. "Now _that_ was priceless." She mused.

"You did that just for kicks?" Anakin looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"No, most of it was for your reaction." She said in a mock assuring voice.

"Isn't that the same thing?" He asked, almost incredulously.

"Nope, because I wanted to see you smile, there's a difference." She giggled at his blank expression.

"Not what you expected, huh?" She said. He then regained his composure and started laughing.

"No, but it works just as well." This time Anakin leaned and kissed her until Tahiri pushed him back.

"What?"

"Nothing, I'm just trying to breath, here, Anakin." She gave him a questioning look, "Come on, I need to breath sometime."

"Can't you do you do that later?"

"Anakin." She said her correctional tone.

"Okay, okay." He made a fake pouting face then smiled. "Ready now?"

She shook her head, "You're hopeless, you know that?"

"You'll get used to it." He said with a wave of his hand. "I am."

_And I never ask myself why I'm dating him._

Anakin's blue eyes widened a little at her, "I heard that."

"Hey, since when can you overhear my thoughts?"

He waved his hand up and down in a very uncharacteristic way, "Hello? Force bond?" It took a moment for Tahiri to realize that Anakin was making fun of her. She regarded him carefully.

"You might want to watch who you're making fun of, Hero Boy," She warned, but not without some humor.

"Oh, really?" He said with a grin, "And why's that?"

"Because in a second I'm not going to let you kiss me for another month."

Anakin's eyes narrowed at that, "You wouldn't."

Tahiri smirked in triumph, "Try me."

Anakin knew better than to doubt Tahiri when she made threats, because she usually followed through with them.

"Come on, Tahiri, you know I wasn't being serious." He offered as an apology. Tahiri seemed to accept it because she leaned over and kissed his forehead.

"Neither was I."

He grunted through his nose, "Okay, that's it." He then kissed her full on the mouth and didn't even bother to notice that the ship had slowed to stop or that the voices of his parents were coming from the docking bay outside.

Jaina sat on the edge of her bed. There were so many questions she still had to ask Sola and the rest of Sola's family but the elderly woman was tired and couldn't stay up too long to talk. Jaina furrowed her brow. It was strange that everything seemed somehow connected in the galaxy. Everyone was somehow connected and most of all the force was strong with every member of the Veila family. After reaching out with her senses, Jaina could tell that Emily's children were both force sensitive and not only that, their ability to sense the life around them was abnormal for children of that age. Jaina knew that with proper training they could both be powerful Jedi but that was also a worry. Children who had this much potential couldn't have just any teacher, because more often than not children who were strong in the force from birth had more awareness of their own potential than their teachers.

Was Anakin really the right teacher for them? Moreover, would Anakin be willing to teach the children when he already had his own student waiting for his return. Jaina couldn't shake the feeling of fear she got whenever Anakin used the force. No matter what he was using it for, the amount of energy surrounding him was inhuman. As much as it bothered Jaina to think that about her youngest brother, it was the truth. Anakin's abilities weren't normal.

Mara frowned as she ran what Jesse had revealed to her. She wasn't an amateur at getting the information she needed. Not when she'd worked with the Emperor and had to deal with a wide range of people and aliens, some of which were highly intellectual and wouldn't fall for Jedi mind tricks like Jesse hadn't. Though Mara hadn't expected Jesse to fall for them, especially not with the amount of force presence she sensed in him. Jesse was definitely not lying about his being Tahiri's brother and twin. Nor was he lying when he told Mara that Anakin was better off learning under someone who understood Anakin's abilities more. It was a simple truth.

That didn't make Mara feel any more comfortable with the possibility that Jesse might become Anakin's teacher. Not when Jesse had the mind to use and abuse Anakin's lack of knowledge about the force fire and the mind breaking ability.

Though Mara knew that unlike Vader, Anakin's control of his emotions was much better. Because he wasn't in denial of them, Anakin could understand how to channel his emotions into more positive facets. For once Luke wasn't right about something related to Jedi teachings. Because Mara now knew that Anakin needed to go his own way or would eventually lose himself because he was suppressing the emotions that would eventually destroy him from the inside out. Just like Darth Vader had broken through the person that had once been Anakin Skywalker, an evil lay in Anakin Solo's very being that could either be conquered or become dominant.

It was an evil Mara herself had learned to defeat. Anakin too had to defeat his. Though whether or not he could remained to be the true question.

Jacen ignited his lightsaber as the figures stepped through the doorway. They looked exactly like the ones that Aunt Mara had described to have kidnapped Kyle. Jacen moved to block the doorway to Valin's room. Jacen wouldn't let Valin share the same fate as Kyle.

"This can be easier on you, Jedi," One of the soldiers clad in the black armor said. "Just move aside and let us take the baby."

"Sorry, but unlike you, I wasn't born yesterday." Jacen replied curtly and used the force to slam the soldiers straight through the door and made a dent in it. More soldiers came through followed by two figures in black robes.

"Oh, Dear, this is no good," One of them said in a cool and charismatic voice, "Must you be so violent, Jedi?"

"Only returning the favor, Sith." Jacen answered with a wry grin. The figure held out his hand and stopped the second robed figure from moving in to attack.

"There's no reason for us to fight, Jacen," The figure said, "Xillanor has told me much about you and your force abilities."

"Xillanor? Is that who you're working for?" Jacen asked, reaching out in the force to sense whether or not the figure was lying when he answered.

"No, Xillanor is simply a higher force user than I. Thus his opinions are more valued than mine," The figure shifted his shoulders, "No matter. I only wish to give you a fair chance to come with us, Jacen." He gestured to the soldiers who were now recovering. "Damage to the soldiers here will not be of consequence. In fact, it only serves to prove that Xillanor was right about you."

"About me, what?" Jacen asked, his eyes growing colder by the moment. The figure smiled underneath his hood.

"That you have more potential than your fool of a brother," The figure apparently noticed Jacen's anger flaring at that comment, but didn't notice why that was because his next words only served to make Jacen less willing to cooperate than he already was. "Yes, he is weak, isn't he? Your brother doesn't realize he could be using all of his anger, when he only uses some. You on the other hand, use it all."

Jacen smiled bitterly, "Yeah, I do." Then slammed the figure into the wall with the force and as the figure slumped down the second figure came forward, lightsaber already ignited.

_How can Tenel Ka sleep through all this? _Jacen wondered. She was a heavy sleeper but this was a little ridiculous. Jacen brought his blade up to block the attack from the second figure. The second figure then parried Jacen's attack and slashed at Jacen's arm, cutting a deep gash. Jacen bit down on his tongue to keep from crying out. A metallic taste filled his mouth.

Jacen let out a roar and began slashing hard to keep the second figure away from Valin. The first figure was now back on his feet and had his lightsaber out and ignited.

"This ends now, Jacen Solo," He said, the charisma out of his voice entirely. Jacen grinned but only to hide the distinctly horrible feeling he was receiving throughout his body and it wasn't because of the enemy, it was because of the disease stirring inside of him.

**A/N- More updates are to come soon over Thanksgiving Break!! Maybe even before then if I get that chance. Thanks for reading! **


	15. Light and Shadow

**Chapter 14**

**Light and Shadow**

_A/N- Yo!!!! Thankgiving'sHEREThanksgiving'sHEREThankgiving'sHERE!!! TK421, is there something wrong with your comlink, because I said THANKSGIVING'S HERE!!!_

_Yays!!! _

_I'm totally psyched about TG and now I'm spending time with my family and friends! I miss them like a non-Jedi misses the force (at least using it anyways). _

_Anyhoozles, so yeah, here's a chappie for you guys to enjoy post TG takes the stage and all of you are now done eating turkey (or tofurkey if you're vegetarian). I waited to post since I know that during TG most of you are too busy eating to pay attention to little old me writing SW fan fiction. _

_Just so everyone knows, __**this chapter is super intense**__**,**__ so if you want to wait until the festivities are over to read it, thaz cool by me. (Don't ask me why I put a z at the end of my "that" instead of "t" because I don't know why)._

_Does anyone actually read my author's notes? They're kinda long so I wonder if anyone does. I occasional include important warnings and stuff that you might want to read if you're the kind of person who reads certain stuff based on your mood. I do that a lot. But I'm almost always in the mood for Anakin/Tahiri fluff. =)_

_I'm listening to a playlist of all my favorite instrumental music right now so I'm rocking out!! WOOO!!!_

_**SECOND WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS INTENSE AND CONTAINS A FAIR AMOUNT OF VIOLENCE. **_

_Okees, on to my actual fanfiction writing._

_Have a great TG, Everyone!!!_

_-Don =)_

* * *

Anakin stood to the side of the ramp, leaning against the wall and out of view of his parents while Jesse and his crew helped carry Mara out into the docking bay. Anakin was not eager to start explaining why he had disappeared when he did. Nor did he want to stay very long to give his parents the opportunity to ask him.

"I don't get why you're avoiding them, Anakin." Tahiri said in a low voice because noise tended to carry inside of the docking bay. Anakin didn't look at her, because his blue eyes were still sharply focused on his parents.

"It's not about avoiding them, Tahiri," He answered, "I made a decision and I plan to stand by it." He shifted his gaze to look at his mother, whose eyes were tense. "Besides, my mom knows I'm here."

Tahiri turned her head to look at Anakin strangely, "And you're still not going to talk to her?"

He moved away from the wall and started back to the cockpit, "No. Not for a while."

Tahiri watched him go, feeling the obvious pain that Anakin felt through their bond. He was purposely forcing himself to not talk to his parents or anyone he knew. Rescuing Mara had been the exception but Anakin was now completely shutting himself off from the world of the Jedi he'd been a part of for so long. Was this part of Anakin's new training regime?

"Tahiri," Leia called. Tahiri looked up abruptly. Leia had felt Tahiri's presence too. Tahiri made her way over, wondering exactly what Leia was going to say to Tahiri.

"I know Anakin's in there and that he won't come out for whatever reason he has," Leia sucked in her breath, "But I want you to give him this," She held out Anakin's lightsaber and with it, Tahiri's. "At least, I want Anakin to be safe wherever he is, even if that's not where his family is."

Tahiri nodded mutely and took the lightsabers. _Tahiri, we're leaving. _Anakin sent through their force bond.

_Coming, _She sent back.

Tahiri smiled briefly at Leia before running back up the ramp where Jesse was waiting to close it once she was inside. Then the ship lifted off, sending air whooshing through the docking bay then leaving everyone present in silence.

Han wrapped his arm around Leia's shoulders. "He'll be fine, Princess."

Leia nodded, "I know he will. Tahiri seems to know what's going on with him and that gives me some reassurance."

Han looked thoughtful, "She always has been able to get closer to Anakin than any of us. It's a wonder how she does it."

Leia's lips curled into a knowing smile, "Through the heart. The only way to get to a hard headed Jedi is through the heart."

Han cocked his head to the side, "Huh, where'd you learn that one?" Leia pulled away and started back out of the docking bay. Han stared after her as she called her response.

"I have the Grand Master for a brother."

Han smirked, "Shoulda known." He started after Leia, only then realizing how far behind he'd fallen in learning how to let go of his kids. Whatever way they would go was now up to them and Han could only hope he'd right in his teachings. As much as a blaster was the thing Han had sworn by, if one was listening carefully enough, one could hear Han's quiet voice as it said, "May the force be with you, Kids."

James busied himself with setting the controls to leave. Kirk wasn't far behind but had lingered near the ramp for a second. Kirk's head turned a fraction as he heard a barely audible, and if not for the force enhancing Kirk's sense of all that went on around him, he wouldn't have heard the soft click near the ship's central control. _Force, not now. _"James, move!" Kirk yelled. The younger man only managed to lift his head to look at Kirk before he dove out of the way of the ship. Then the ramp was ripped up as the engine burst into flames and an several small explosions happened in short succession of one another. By the end, the ship was blackened and the outer hull was almost falling off its framework.

Wyn, having just snuck into the docking bay at the moment of the explosion, stood stock still, then pulled out her comlink and called the emergency crew before running towards the ship, where Kirk was already lying nearby, his clothes and part of his skin singed. Without another thought, Wyn jumped through the flames of the burning ship's remains and found James lying on the floor of the ship. The explosion had sent him flying towards the ramp, but not far enough for him to be hit by the main brunt of the explosives. Wyn lifted him up and draped his arm over her shoulder before she jumped back out of the burning entrance, then the ship's framework caved.

Kirk was waking up and raised his head, then pushed himself up slowly, gingerly touching his burns before making his way over to where Wyn was standing and supporting James.

"I can't feel a pulse," She said to Kirk, who reached over and pressed his fingers to James' neck, using the force to sense for life.

"He's alive, but not for long if we don't get him to a hospital soon," Kirk coughed violently and then glanced over as Soontir Fel and a squad of medics and then a two full squads of soldiers made their way into the docking bay.

"Hurry!" Soontir barked to the medics, who hurried over and split between taking care of James, who was put on a stretcher, and Kirk, who was treated for his burns on the spot with bacta patches. Wyn followed the med squad out of the docking bay at a jog to keep up with their fast pace.

Soontir watched his daughter as she went out, his red eyes scrutinizing her. There was definitely something different about Wyn now. She wasn't playing around. Not only that, she'd pulled James, who was a complete stranger as far as Soontir was concerned, out of a burning ship. Soontir knew he'd have to talk to his daughter about antics like that. But first, he needed to talk to Kirk.

Soontir strode over to Kirk, who was biting down hard to keep from showing his pain at the burns as they were treated.

"Kirk." Soontir said. The other met Soontir's eyes.

"I don't know who it was, Soontir." Kirk said to Soontir's unasked question, "But I have a guess."

Soontir furrowed his brow, a rare expression for the Chiss Baron, "Cem?"

"I had hoped not, but it would seem to be the most likely choice." Kirk answered, careful to keep his tone neutral. Soontir's red eyes seemed to grow more intensely red as his anger and frustration mounted.

"Cem," He snarled, "I never would have thought a son of mine to have the audacity for such shameless crimes." Soontir's broad chest heaved and he stiffened before pivoting to face his aid. "Inform all the military forces that Cem Fel is to be considered a traitor and to be killed on sight."

"Yes, Baron Fel." The aid bowed and retreated back down the hallway. Soontir's hand gripped the hilt of his sword, the shaking of his body in his infuriated state was frightening to all present, except Kirk, who had seen Soontir in his war maddened state. In fact it was in his war maddened state that Kirk had met Soontir for the first time. He had been fighting brutally and Kirk had happened along and given Soontir a hand, or a blaster to be more accurate.

"Soontir," Kirk said with his voice still neutral. "Do you really want to kill your own son?"

Soontir's head shifted to cast a shadowy face down at Kirk, "I have no choice. To attack a friend is only what a true traitor would do. It is the deed of one who has long lost his sense of right."

_But to kill one's own kin is also to lose one's sense of wrong too. Not that I see much choice either, _Kirk thought to himself. The medic finished bandaging Kirk's burns and then stepped back to await further orders from the Baron.

"Kirk, I must ask you to leave as soon as James has recovered." Soontir said, his face showing the long years of pain as well as triumph that only a seasoned warrior could have. Kirk of course knew why Soontir would ask him to leave, but had no intention of doing so.

"I understand, Soontir," Kirk replied firmly, "But I request permission to aid you in the search for Cem. I might be able to help recover him, should the opportunity arise for negotiations."

Soontir's eyes hardened, "There is no room to discuss anything with a traitor, Kirk. It would do for you to remember that." Soontir answered and turned to his team of soldiers. "Search the docking bay for evidence and report back to me. I want three teams to search for any remaining traitors. I want you to bring me someone to interrogate. The rest are to be killed."

"Understood, Baron Fel," The Commander pressed his fists against his chest in a Chiss salute. Then the commander set about directing the squads to search the docking bay. Kirk stood up so he was level with the Baron.

"Soontir, I know you don't want to hear this, least of all from me, but I think you're jumping to conclusions." Kirk said in a fierce voice this time. Soontir apparently noticed the edge because he faced Kirk directly.

"I was wondering if you'd lost your ability to choose that which is difficult. Apparently I was correct in believing that you had lost much of your war spirit."

"No, I was just taught by a Jedi well learned in the ways of justice and in words over violence," Kirk replied with a wry smile. It seemed strange that the Baron of the Chiss was saying, however indirectly, that Kirk had gone soft.

"I see." Soontir said his tone was less challenging and almost calm now. Kirk recognized the change and took this opportunity to hammer his point home. If anyone understood the importance of following one's master's teachings, it was Soontir Fel.

"Soontir, as your friend, and as a comrade in arms, I ask that I be allowed to accompany you on your quest to find Cem," Kirk pushed down the nauseated feeling he was getting at his new decision, "Should I fail to convince Cem to change his mind, I will not interfere any further."

Soontir regarded Kirk silently for a moment, and then nodded. "I have your word and I know you're honorable enough to not back down on it." In the back of his mind, Kirk sincerely hoped that he wouldn't have the chance to see Cem and have to be the one standing between Soontir losing a son or saving his son from execution. Kirk winced. If his own son were still alive today, watching Soontir would have been even more painful, because unlike Soontir, Kirk would have taught his own son the same values Kirk himself had learned from Luke Skywalker. Therefore watching Soontir lose a son while Kirk's lived was just cruel. Kirk cleared the thought from his mind as he followed Soontir back to the Baron's main quarters. It was only a matter of time, Kirk knew, before Soontir went out himself to follow through with the toughest mission he'd ever embarked on, though Soontir himself would never admit to it, Kirk knew. There were some things the force didn't need to tell Kirk, and this was one of them.

Anakin leaned back in his chair. After dropping Jesse and the rest of the Veila clan off at Mykyr again, he and Tahiri began to fly on their random course through space. After a short amount of thought, Anakin decided on landing briefly on Coruscant to collect their thoughts and refuel. The whole situation with Jesse had left Anakin full of anxiety but he was forced to put that aside as he and Tahiri found the guard to enter the city beyond the docking bay was, to put it bluntly, a complete airhead. Or just didn't know when to talk and when to just shut up. Though, Anakin admitted, not many people had those skills, nor did they learn them later on in life. Tahiri certainly was a rare exception.

Anakin found himself getting annoyed with the security guard after a full ten minutes of pointless debate.

"You say yer a Jedi?" The guard asked, his accent sharp as a whistle.

"Yes." Anakin replied, exasperated.

"Then where's yer little glow rods?"

"We don't have them." Tahiri piped in, "We've already told you we don't have them, but we're only here to conduct a mission. Let us through. We promise we won't take long and it'll be-"

"I don't believe yer Jedi," The guard cut Tahiri off, "You're both kinda scrawny and young." He looked Anakin and Tahiri up and down. Anakin felt himself grow heated. More than anything he hated being considered small and insignificant. He heard Tahiri's calming voice in his head _Don't. Let me handle this. _Anakin restrained himself from punching the guard with great difficulty.

"We're here on a mission to scout out some other Jedi candidates, we don't want trouble, that's why we don't have our weapons." She explained. _You're pretty good at lying. _Anakin mused to her through their mind to mind bond. She shot him a nasty look then faced the guard again.

"Well, if you say so. But no trouble or we'll have ye both kicked out, ye kin?" The guard waved them both through with a warning glare. Anakin followed in step with Tahiri until they were out of earshot.

"I can't believe you lied." Anakin laughed.

"Well, at least I wasn't planning on beating the guard into submission. Anakin, do you understand that we honestly have no weapons right now and that maybe, just maybe it might be a bad idea to start a fight with a guard?" She gave him a serious look.

Anakin continued walking and reached out in the force to get a feel for the cityscape. He found very few presences around that could possibly be Jedi. _Good_, he thought, _It's better that we remain inconspicuous. _

"Now there's a good joke." Tahiri said, rolling her eyes. "You don't know how to sneak in anywhere."

Anakin glared at her, mad that she'd eavesdropped on his thoughts, "Really? I'm not the one who can't keep her mouth shut for two seconds."

"If I hadn't said anything we'd both be in jail, Anakin." She pointed out. She groaned. They'd only been out alone for one day and already they were fighting.

Anakin, sensing her frustration reached out with a relaxing technique and said, "Sorry. I didn't meant to get angry at you."

She let out a sigh, "It's okay. I'm not mad."

"Really?" He fixed her with his most inquisitive stare as he stopped walking. "You sure you don't want to tell me what's wrong? I know it's not the guard, Tahiri."

She lowered her gaze. "It's just… you don't think things through, Anakin. You're always rushing off without planning or deciding where we're going." She raised her eyes to be level with his, "The last time you ran off, you were almost killed. Can you just think for once about the consequences?"

He nodded. "I might as well do it since I'm not allowed to try." He grinned at her and continued walking, grabbing her hand as he moved forward. "Come on, let's grab a bite to eat."

They entered the cantina on the third level of the city and chose a booth. While they waited for their orders they heard quarreling from the other side of the bar. Two rough looking barabels were yelling at a human, but from so far away Anakin could not tell what the human was thinking or feeling. Though, he figured he'd be better off staying out a fight with barabels. They weren't exactly the nicest of creatures. The front most barabel prodded the human in the chest.

"You did not complete the task. You do not get paid. Give us the money back."

"I don't do refunds." The human said, and with a quick motion pushed the barabels aside. Anakin blinked. It only took him a few seconds to realize that the human had just used the force to throw the barabels into a nearby table. He glanced at Tahiri, but she was already on her feet.

Anakin ran over to the bar and reached out with the force to the barabels' minds. _You want to leave, this is nothing left for you to take. _Anakin used the force hard on their minds until he felt the first barabel's cave in.

"Let's go." It said and the other two followed. Anakin watched them go and breathed a sigh of relief. Tahiri came over.

The human looked at them in surprise, he obviously had not expected to be saved but he soon recovered his stature. "Thanks." He jerked a thumb at the barabels leaving the cantina, "I would have been dead if you guys hadn't stepped in."

"Sure." Anakin said. He looked the human over and saw that there was something familiar about him. He was a few years older than Anakin and he had tussled untidy chestnut colored hair and sturdy broad shoulders. He had to around nineteen or twenty years old. His amber eyes looked back at Anakin's blue. Anakin used the force and then it hit him. He wasn't sure why he hadn't realized who it was sooner.

"Uldir?" He questioned. The boy's surprised expression confirmed Anakin's suspicion. It had been a long time but the boy had not changed much in his initial appearance after so many years. Except now it would have been more appropriate to call Uldir a man as he had the build and stature of one.

"Whoa, is that you, Anakin?" He said. Uldir scrutinized Anakin. "You've changed but I can tell it's you."

Tahiri came over to see what the fuss was about. "Oh, Uldir!" She exclaimed and threw her arms around her old friend.

"Tahiri?" Uldir's eyes went wide. "Now you've really changed."

She folded her arms across her chest and fixed him with a stern look. "You haven't. You're as obnoxious as ever."

"Hey, it was a compliment." He put his hands up in surrender. Anakin noticed immediately that Uldir's voice no longer had its usual squeak to it. It was deeper and sharper but never as randomly pitched as it was when they'd parted ways as kids. The three made their way back to the booth that Anakin and Tahiri had sat in when they came in. After they sat down, Anakin asked the question that had been on his mind since the fight with the barabels.

"Why do you owe them money?" Anakin's eyes narrowed. His own father, Han Solo, had been involved in business in places like this but soon found out that it wasn't really worth the while when Jabba the Hutt wanted you dead. Anakin had his reservations about smuggling and strange dealerships since hearing those stories from his father and about how the person who came to rescue his father was none other than his Uncle, Luke Skywalker.

"Oh, that." Uldir waved his hand in dismissal, "I was doing a delivery for them but on the way I got delayed because of the Yuuzhan Vong. It took me three months to get to the location but even then the cargo got stolen, so," He shrugged. "Not much I could do to get it back from the Yuuzhan Vong. I was just glad to get away alive. They apparently didn't agree with me."

"So you decided to become a cargo pilot?" Tahiri asked. Uldir nodded.

"I've brushed up on my Jedi skills. I can actually do stuff now but it's not enough to actually fight anyone. Especially not the Vong. I just use it to get out of places where I think there's trouble."

"Really?" Tahiri asked. "You figured out how to use the force?" She sounded excited. Anakin leaned forward with interest.

"For really simple things, like I said. I can lift objects. I realized back then that my dodging of the droids wasn't just coincidence, so even if I had work a little harder to get to use the force, I could do it."

Anakin cast a glance sideways at Tahiri and she looked back. They were both thinking the same thing and they didn't need to say it since they always knew each other's thoughts. That Uldir had come as far as he had in the force was incredible.

"Is it just me or have you two become even better at using your Jedi powers to communicate?" Uldir sat with his eyebrows raised as his chin rested on his hand.

"I don't think we've ever not been able to understand each other's thoughts. It's just stronger now." Tahiri said, looking at Anakin. He nodded.

"So what brings you two to this part of the galaxy?" Uldir asked.

"We're on a Jedi quest of sorts." Tahiri replied, smiling, "Just wandering around to try to get a better feel for our Jedi powers. The Yuuzhan Vong had cut down on our training time, so we're trying to make up for it. Right, Anakin?" She glanced at him.

He nodded and smiled at her. He was grateful for how little she mentioned about his real reasons for wanting to go on a force experience quest. Tahiri knew enough about Anakin to be able to tell what he wanted others to know and what he didn't. This was something she'd learned to do over time, he thought. To decide on what was important to say instead of going on about this and that.

"Really? That's pretty cool, I haven't had the time to work on my skills much either. You're on your own?" He paused, squinting as though trying to figure something out, "So what, how old are you guys now?"

"I'm seventeen and Anakin's eighteen. Though, he'll be nineteen soon." She watched Anakin's expression as it dawned on him that he'd almost forgotten his own birthday. Again.

"Now this really calls for a celebration!" Uldir pounded the table with his fist and then got up to get drinks.

"I can't believe you almost forgot your birthday." She laughed at him. He shook his head.

"I've been so out of it lately. Oh-" He hit his head, "You turned sixteen while I was gone, I never got you anything for that birthday."

"You did. Trust me." She smiled. Anakin remained confused for a few minutes. For the life of him, he could not remember what he'd given her.

"Come on, Anakin. Did the whole thing at the Sytar camp just fly over your head?" She waved her hand in front of his face.

"You can't honestly say that's a decent birthday present." He looked down. Anakin felt downright awful for not remembering and not being there to top it all off.

"I don't really need anything, Anakin. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not a material type girl." She raised her eyebrows at him. He sighed.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." She squeezed his hand and then he relented. She looked at him for a moment, "What do _you _want, Anakin?"

"Me?" He paused. Anakin had never really wanted anything since the war started. In fact, he didn't pay any attention to his birthday period. About two months after Anakin returned, the Sytars helped them to destroy the Yuuzhan Vong combined with the efforts of the Jedi and their few allies across the galaxy. In the end the Yuuzhan Vong's main base was turned to ashes. Now the galaxy was beginning to recover. Now Anakin was trying to figure out for himself what kind of Jedi he was. Something as simple as what he wanted for his birthday had never occurred to him. "I don't know." He replied honestly. Tahiri shrugged.

"I'll just come up with something then." She fashioned him a creative smile. He laughed.

"I'd like that." At that moment Uldir came back with three plates of food and three drinks.

"You guys seem to have matured yourselves. Tahiri,you're not as talkative, and more concise. Anakin, you're more open and you're definitely not as reckless." Tahiri laughed at that and covered it with a cough and Anakin glared at her. He slid into the booth next to Anakin. "Either of you dating someone?" He winked. Anakin nearly choked on his drink and Tahiri hid her face while eating her food. Anakin could not tell if Uldir knew about his and Tahiri's relationship.

Anakin and Tahiri exchanged glances, as though trying to decide whether they should tell Uldir about what happened on Tatooine. Through their minds they decided they only wanted to tell him specific details. Tahiri grew a little red and couldn't say anything so Anakin decided to speak for the both of them. "Tahiri and I are dating." He said plainly, turning slightly red himself. It was a fact they'd have to get used to themselves and also telling others because people were bound to ask.

Uldir's eyes went wide. For the first time he looked unsure. "You're serious?" He looked from one to the other. His face fell. "Wow. That's great."

Something told Anakin that Uldir had harbored some feelings of his own for Tahiri over time. Whether or not they were still there, Anakin couldn't tell but he knew that by Uldir's facial expression that he wasn't exactly happy for Anakin and Tahiri. Anakin felt a bad feeling his gut. Uldir was never someone who easily gave up. It was hard to say how Uldir react to Anakin and Tahiri being together if he really did like Tahiri.

Tahiri pinched Anakin's arm. "Ow." He glared at her then when she jabbed her elbow into his ribs he saw what she was trying to get him to look at.

"Sith-spit." Anakin muttered. Right in the doorway were two dozen barabels with blasters in their belts looking around the cantina. It didn't take Anakin very long to figure out who they were looking for. He nodded to Tahiri to indicate that they should leave. She didn't need to respond. Tahiri watched Uldir's eyes as they spotted the barabels. His face turned white as a sheet. He ducked and began to slip with his friends out of the back door of the cantina.

Once outside, they breathed a sigh of relief.

"How much did you get from them?" Anakin asked. The barabels were obviously pretty serious about either beating Uldir into submission or killing him, Anakin thought the latter. Since this was the case, Anakin figured it had to have been a large sum of money.

"Well, for the delivery they gave me a million and once I got there I was supposed to get more. It was an important delivery. But since it failed, I had lost my ship and wanted to keep the money for insurance. They weren't too happy about that." He shrugged. Anakin felt a chill and turned. The barabels were exiting the cantina and one of them turned around and saw Uldir's turned back.

Anakin grabbed Uldir and Tahiri's sleeves and pulled them down an alley and pushed them into a narrow crevice barely big enough to fit them. The barabels ran past the alley in droves then there was silence. Anakin held his breath. He waited a few more minutes until he lost track of the barabels presences in the force. He stepped out of the crevice. Rain started to pour down on them, Anakin felt some relief because it was harder to see or hear in the rain.

"That's not all you have, is it, Uldir." Anakin stated, rather than asking. He frowned at his old friend. "If you're going to get our help, you'd better start by being honest with us." Anakin folded his arms across his chest.

"I can't tell you." Uldir replied flatly. "Frankly, I think I've told you too much." He glared back at Anakin. Tahiri looked from one to the other. She could feel Anakin's tense emotions boiling.

"Uldir, maybe we can help you. You know we've been through a lot together and we're all trained Jedi. So we're all on the same side. The force-"

Uldir rounded on Tahiri, "Just because we're all Jedi doesn't mean we're all on the same side!" He snapped. Anakin stepped in front of Tahiri and his eyes turned an icy blue.

"Don't talk to Tahiri that way." Anakin said, his voice dangerously calm and cold. If Anakin had his lightsaber, he knew he'd be tempted to cut Uldir down for the amount of aggression he was directing at both Anakin and Tahiri. He was glad he didn't. But that didn't change that Anakin was ready to punch Uldir if he tried anything.

His fists curled and uncurled as he turned away from his two friends, seething inwardly.

"You two don't get it. You'll never get it. The force always came easily to you, no one asked you to prove it. Do you have any idea what it's like to be treated like dirt by people who are supposed to be fellow Jedi like you?" He laughed hollowly at their blank expressions. "Of course you don't. I'm not bound to any code or order. I'm on my own. The way Jedi should be." He paused and gave Anakin a knowing look, "You know I'm right, Anakin. You've always felt the same way. You just never acted on it. That's why you're weak." He then ran out of the alleyway and disappeared into the bustling streets.

Anakin stood with his teeth gritted and his eyes narrowed. Rain dripped from his face onto his flight jacket. Anakin breathed heavily, his frustration rising. He punched the wall, making his knuckles bleed. Anakin walked out of the alleyway deep in thought with Tahiri close behind him. He knew that his anger had nothing to do with the threat to Tahiri or himself. He knew Uldir wouldn't have actually hurt them. It had to do with what Uldir had said, _You know I'm right, Anakin. You've always felt the same way. You just never acted on it. That's why you're weak. _He was angry because he knew Uldir had been right. How long have I felt that way? Anakin asked himself. No matter how long he waited, the answer would never come. Uldir was right, he just never acted on his emotions.

On their ship, Anakin sat in silence in the pilot's chair. They had decided not to leave because of the rain and had rented shelter in a docking bay for the night. Anakin had refused to go to a hotel or motel, so they remained on the ship. He tinkered with a small piece of equipment in his lap as the rain pounded on the building around them.

Tahiri approached him from behind. "Hey." She said softly, sitting in the chair next to him. She knew he wasn't feeling okay because of late, tinkering had become more a therapeutic exercise than a hobby for Anakin. "Want something to eat?"

Anakin stared down at his work and said nothing for a while then, "Tahiri, how long have I been like this?"

She gave him a curious look. "Like what?"

"Solitary. Trying to do things myself all the time."

Tahiri thought for a moment then gazed gently at Anakin even thought he wasn't looking back at her. "As long as I've known you, Anakin Solo, you've been an independent person. You've never questioned your own beliefs and you've stayed strong to your goals." She paused then stared sternly at her friend, "But you've never been weak, if that's what you're worried about."

"How do you know?" His eyes gazed over at her. The skin around his eyes was red, his blue eyes were shining but not in a joyful way. It took Tahiri a moment to realize that Anakin had been crying. Something she'd never, in the five to six years she'd known him, seen Anakin do, save once, and that was after Vallin died. She came over and took the piece of machinery he'd been tinkering with from his hands.

"Because no matter what it was you wanted to do, you always finished it." She placed the small metal box into the panel where Anakin had removed it and a light panel flickered on in the cockpit. He smiled at her.

"Sometimes I don't get how I ended up being friends with you." He clasped his hands in front of him and looked down at the floor.

"I think it's pretty obvious." She hopped up on the small part of the dash board that had no buttons and swung her legs back and forth. She grinned at him, "We were both pretty independent."

He nodded, "Yeah, you're right." He watched her for a moment. Tahiri was still the carefree girl he'd known for a long time. But despite that, she'd become a lot more intellectual and practical. Almost as practical as Anakin was. _There's a scary thought_. He mused. Still he found it hard to believe that someone like Tahiri would want to be friends with him in the first place. "I still don't understand why you stayed friends with me, even though I left you behind for so long to go fight the Yuuzhan Vong."

She rolled her eyes, "Do we really need to have this conversation, Anakin?" She threw a piece of rolled up paper at him. He rubbed his nose, where the paper had hit him.

"Doesn't it make you curious?" He asked. She shook her head.

"Not really." She swung her legs out and then pulled them into a criss-cross position under her. She tugged on a lock of her yellowy blonde hair. "I guess I never really thought about it too much."

Anakin's brow furrowed as he concentrated on thinking back to the day at the Academy where the bright yellow haired girl with no shoes greeted him, a totally strange kid with such enthusiasm and immediately wanted to be friends with him. Not just that, best friends. Inseparable and bonded all the time in the force. Anakin never stopped wondering how he managed to find such a person in the entire galaxy that he cared about and felt such a strong bond with.

Anakin pushed his hair out of his face with a sigh before returning his attention to Tahiri. "Why me?"

"Huh?" She wrinkled her nose at Anakin, "Why you what?"

"Why of all the people at the Academy was I the one you wanted to be your friend?"

She fixed Anakin with a suspicious look. "What's got you so hung up on this?" Tahiri searched through her mind and the force then felt it dawn upon her.

"Anakin, does this still have to do with what Uldir said?"

He gave a gesture half way between a nod and shaking his head. "Kind of. I just couldn't understand why if there was someone who had their life more together, more whole, and well… not dark as mine. I didn't think you'd want a friend who was just going to make you miserable."

She raised an eyebrow with an indignant look. "Do I look miserable to you?" He shook his head, shifting uncomfortably.

"No, but-"

"Then don't force emotions on people when they're obviously not there." Her green eyes turned to face him. "Look, Anakin, I don't know why you think I'm unhappy with being your friend, because I'm not. You should know by now, if I don't think something's right, I'd tell you. I'm the girl who can't stop talking, remember?" She took a deep breath, "If you're unhappy, Anakin, just say it. If something's bothering you, just say it. I don't really care what it is. Say it. I'd be madder if you kept on being the quiet boy who hid everything because he was too worried about being made fun of."

"I wasn't afraid of that." He cast a nervous glance at her. "I… just didn't want to dump anything on you. You don't deserve that kind of pressure."

"That's bantha dung, Anakin, and you know it." She hopped off the dashboard and sat down in the chair next to Anakin's. "If there's anything I deserve, it's to hear exactly what you want to say, because that's what you owe your best friend and should be okay with telling or hearing from your best friend. I've always told you what I've thought and you never complained. So why's it any different if you're telling me? And don't tell me it's because your past is darker, okay? Because it's not. My parents were killed, Anakin. Killed." She looked over at him with a stony expression, "Do you have any idea what that feels like to never know what your birth parents were like?"

Anakin was silent. Tahiri was pretty good at getting Anakin to listen. Maybe that was why he never felt like he had to say anything as he figured she'd just wanted to talk. Now he knew she'd probably just not known to ask him or thought he'd bring it up himself.

"I don't think I could ever know and I hope I never have to. I'm sorry, Tahiri. I should have just told you." He replied slowly, his voice struggling to stay steady. He inhaled. "I've always envied a lot of the people around me. I envied Uncle Luke because he was able to know the good person that my grandfather was when I could only know the evil part of him. Even that time when we found the hologram of Uncle Luke at Vader's Fortress, he still seemed inhuman to me. Until I went to Dagobah a second time, he was the most evil person I had ever heard of. I talked with him, Tahiri. I spoke to him, the real Anakin Skywalker. He's as much a part of me as Vader is. I was afraid because when I was at the Yuuzhan Vong base, it seemed like I had to choose whose life was worth more, the Vong leader's or mine. I couldn't make a choice like that, so, I just did nothing." His hands hung limply his lap. "I felt like there was something I should have done right then, but I didn't do anything.

"I envied my parents because they got to be heroes and well known. I just had to hide in their shadows all the time. All of my family was like that. Even R2-D2 was more well known for being himself than I was. I hated it. I envied Uldir too, because he was able to redefine himself. He knows where he wants to go.

I envy you too, Tahiri. Because you're strong willed and always manage to stay positive. I can't measure up to you. Ever." He glanced at Tahiri who was stunned to her him compliment her on such a high level. She continued to listen to him despite her surprise.

"Someone who always has to ride of the coattails of his parents doesn't deserve to have friends who are independent. The only thing I know is weakness, because I only know how to resort to anger," He paused, chuckling, "I'm really just like my grandfather. I want so badly to prove myself that I just go around hating everyone and get angry at anyone who tries to get near me. I let everyone down. I let my dad down, I let Chewie down, and I let Uldir down." His hands shook from how much emotion he was pouring out into his words, the force he was letting loose was hard not to feel. Tahiri placed her hand on top of Anakin's hands, sending comforting force waves towards him. He relaxed a little but still seemed uncertain.

"You're not a hateful person, Anakin." She assured him, "Even back in the alley when you were fighting with Uldir, you didn't hate him."

"Yes, I did." Anakin replied instantly. Tahiri sighed. When Anakin wanted to be, he could be incredibly stubborn. He seemed to be getting more and more stubborn as time went on.

"No, I could tell you were just worried, you were hurt because he'd changed into somebody you didn't trust anymore. He was a friend to both of us, Anakin. I felt the same way you did. It's hard to lose a friend, even if it's just to change, it hurts."

Anakin put his head down his lap and let out a low moan. Without him voicing what he was thinking, Tahiri already knew his exact thoughts. They were the same ones on her mind as well. Neither of them could stop the galaxy from changing, from the intruders that came in and out of it. Or how many friends or family became wrapped up in something rough or dangerous.

They'd both been through their share of rough spots in terms of finding out whether they could trust people. Tahiri felt like she couldn't trust anyone when she had thought Anakin was dead. Everyone seemed distant and didn't understand the kind of pain she was in. Tahiri had isolated herself. She had made it so clear that she wanted to be alone, that she really was. Inside and out.

The feeling of emptiness gnawed at her and after a while she didn't know who she could talk to about anything. About Anakin. About her daily lessons, about how she was feeling, anything just seemed strange to tell anyone. Those who were usually the first people she'd go to, the ones she'd confide in, didn't seem warm anymore. There was no way they could understand what it was like to lose your family, not once, but twice. Anakin had been her family when no one else was. When she'd left Sliven, it had been hard to adjust until Anakin came along.

She hadn't gotten to telling Anakin that he meant more to her than just a friend, that he was her family and everything else that a person could possibly be. The idea of telling him, seemed ridiculous. Tahiri could never say that to him. Even admitting she loved him was easier than saying that and Tahiri had admitted she loved Anakin. But only after Anakin himself had come out and admitted it.

Tahiri could only guess how much it had hurt Anakin to lose a friend. Even though Uldir had been her friend too, Anakin had always invested a lot more trust and reliance on all of his friendships. He was protective and tried his hardest to hold them together no matter what it took. Loyalty. That was another quality that made Anakin who he was. No matter who the friend was, where they'd come from, Anakin would stand by them with his life and make sure they were always feeling their best.

For a while now neither of them had said anything, and Tahiri glanced over to see what Anakin was doing. He had dozed off in his chair. She decided to let him sleep and turned her attention back to listening to the rain. As soon as Tahiri sensed the rain had stopped, she started to move the ship out.

Tahiri hadn't realized that Uldir was still bitter about not being able to find Jedi powers so long ago. She thought he'd gotten over it. Or at least he said he had. The fact that he wasn't over it, that he wanted nothing more than to resent his friends for having something he didn't, made Tahiri feel sympathy and empathy towards Anakin for how broken he was.

He'd taken comfort in the idea that Uldir had somehow worked his life out since they'd parted ways. She could tell Anakin was truly happy for his friend who had finally achieved what he'd wanted so badly. Tahiri looked out of the front viewport and watched as the millions upon millions of glowing dots that were burning brightly in the distance in the darkness fly by. For all she knew, Uldir never moved on, and had lied when he said he was moving on. He had probably tried again and again, and failed. It was possible that what he told them over their meal at the cantina was also a lie, even if she hadn't felt it.

The flat out truth was as painful as the lie told bluntly to one's face and told in full emotion and spirit of the lie were it a truth. Uldir had once again embraced a lie. Not about using the force, but that he truly needed to resent and feel overshadowed by his friends. If anyone knew what overshadowing felt like, it was Anakin. He'd just told her that. Tahiri had known that for a long time too. That Anakin had always admired his parents and siblings for their abilities in the force and their presence. His mother a member of the Republic Council, his father and Uncle war heroes. Anakin's brother and sister were well known Jedi to the entire galaxy now.

What Uldir didn't know was that Anakin probably empathized with his friend from the beginning. He never looked down on him or pitied him. Anakin's faith in his friends was strong. Tahiri had never stopped worrying about her friend, even after he left. When Anakin had gone to fight the Yuuzhan Vong, she believed in him too, but the worry was something else. Had Uldir mistaken their concern for pity? Did he see their abilities as an intimidation or reminder of something he'd not been able to do?

The answers to these questions were beyond Tahiri. She glanced to the side. Anakin had been asleep on the chair next to hers for a while now. He was curled up in his chair, resting his head on the armrest. Tahiri got up and placed a blanket over him and then retaken the controls. As she steered them through the hyperspace jump, she saw Anakin stir and stare up at her with groggy eyes. "Tahiri?" He said.

She glanced back at him, "Yes, Anakin?"

"Thanks for listening." He gave her a small smile before falling back asleep. Tahiri smiled to herself as she returned her attention to the jump.

"You're welcome."

When Anakin woke up, he was surprised to find himself reclined in one the beds on the ship. He sat up, put his feet on the floor and made his way to the cockpit, scratching his head as he entered the cockpit.

Tahiri was already steering the ship towards a new planet. Her attention was completely focused on the screen so she didn't turn around when he came in.

"Hey." He said, looking over her shoulder to see what she was doing.

"Hi. I hope you didn't mind but I moved you into the bed because I thought you'd be more comfortable."

"I was, thanks." He was surprised at how strong Tahiri was physically. The fact that she had lifted him was amazing, even more so that she'd carried him all the way to the other room. He wondered when she'd gotten so strong.

"Where are we headed?"

"Random place." She shrugged, "We weren't really decidedly heading anywhere to begin with so I figured anywhere would do."

Anakin took a seat next to her, "Works for me." He scrutinized her face. She seemed tired, her eyes had dark spots under them. Had she been up all night steering and watching the ship?

"Let me take over, you've been piloting all night." He offered. Tahiri vacated her seat and Anakin sat down and began plotting their course to land.

"Thanks." She rubbed her eyes and yawned. Anakin glanced back at her.

"You should go get some sleep before we land."

"It's okay. I don't want to make you do all the work. I'll stay here."

"I'll take care of everything. You look run down enough already." When she tried opening her mouth again to protest Anakin shook his head, "Go. I'm not giving you a choice." He fixed her with an unwavering stare.

"Fine." She grumbled and walked down to the other bedroom on board. Anakin smiled to himself. He stretched out his toes and noticed how nice it felt to just be barefoot for a while. _I guess Tahiri knows how to relax more than I do_, he thought. Anakin got up for a second to grab some breakfast out of the rations they brought along and then returned to the cockpit to see the planet getting even closer.

"Endor." The word hung in front of him as soon as he said it.

He knew the planet well enough. It was the planet where his Uncle had gone in one of the last battles against the Imperial army. With the help of the Ewoks, they defeated one part of the Emperor's remaining forces and not too much later, the 2nd death star. It was a mysterious place, sure enough. Anakin wondered if the Ewoks were unharmed by the Yuuzhan Vong. He guessed, despite how cute they were, the Yuuzhan Vong probably didn't leave them alone if they'd been found. Whether or not the Yuuzhan Vong had gone to Endor in their conquest, Anakin didn't know.

The front viewport soon was mostly occupied by trees as Anakin lowered the ship into the first clearing he noticed. As the ship settled, Anakin glanced down at his clothes, it was probably a good a idea not to wander around Endor in his pajamas. He got up and went to the back to change. Then he knocked on Tahiri's door.

"Mhhm?" She mumbled.

"We've landed." He called. A moment later the door swung open. Tahiri was wide awake now.

"Why didn't you say so?" She walked quickly towards the ramp and slapped the button to open it. Before Anakin could say anything she was outside.

"Well, are you coming?" She called. Anakin grabbed two supply packs and closed the ramp door behind him.

Jacen pivoted and dodged the attack he felt coming through the force. He grunted. This force user, whoever he was, knew what he was doing. Jacen lifted his gaze as he felt a sharp pain shoot through his back. The second force user had slashed directly into Jacen's back and Jacen knew the blade had cut incredibly close to Jacen's bones. He grimaced and brought his blade back over his head to smash into the head of his attacker, who fell to the ground with a thump.

Jacen wasted no time attacking his other enemy and using the lightsaber to deflect the blasters firing at him from all sides. As a group split off, heading for Valin's room, Jacen raised his hand and used the force to pry the door off its hinges and sent it flying into his adversaries. The soldiers fell over, but quickly recovered. Jacen grunted and charged forward, driving his blade through each of their chests. That was when Jacen felt the immense pain jolting through his upper chest. He coughed, the dryness and pain was almost unreal. As Jacen looked down, he realized why that was.

Out of his chest grew two lightsabers and the burning sensation of blasters riddled his back. Jacen took all his strength to do the only thing he knew he could at this point. He concentrated hard on the wall and slowly a chunk came loose and smashed straight through Tenel Ka's bedroom, then Jacen let loose the most powerful cry into the force he'd ever had to use or thought he'd do. Then he moved, fully knowing that he couldn't remove the lightsabers at this point, and grinned at his opponents. _Tenel Ka… _Then the whole ceiling came down on top of them.

Tenel Ka awoke, feeling the strong blast through the force, and suddenly realizing, through her grogginess, that someone had drugged her food. Someone who had access to her food must be close. But that wasn't what had wakened her up. The force had sent a loud message through to her, no it had screamed at her to get up. Nothing so loud or strangely harsh had come through to Tenel Ka's senses in the past. Then she noticed the broken wall and immediately called her lightsaber to her hand and rushed out of the room. Despite her pregnancy, Tenel Ka was still in top shape.

She reached the outside where she found the bodies of black armored soldiers, and the broken pieces of the ceiling. Then there was a deafening feeling. A feeling Tenel Ka couldn't place until she noticed the body lying furthest from the ceiling. She rushed over and gathered Jacen to her, holding his bloodied form in her arms. His face was smiling, but there was no mistake this time, Jacen Solo was dead. The worst part was, she couldn't do anything to stop it.

**A/N- I know that was long, and there's another chapter in the makings right now. TG break is giving me a lot of time to work on my fanfiction, yay!!! =) By the way, don't hate me for killing Jacen off!! Please? I have some awesome stuff planned for Tenel Ka, Valin and their newest kid, so it'll get better! Hope everyone had a great TG dinner!! **


	16. Clearly Changed

**Chapter 15**

**Clearly Changed**

_A/N- Yeah… so, kind of a depressing last chapter, Sorry everyone. I did mention in my previous author's note that it would be intense and in my introduction before the first chapter too. So I guess it's just part of what comes with reading this fan-fic. This is the first character death (it was painful to write so I'm with you on the whole "NOOOOO!!" thing). _

_Any rate, this is another long (and intense chapter). This is because the main conflict is finally going to be introduced. If you've already figured it out, cookies for you!! _

_Just to be clear this chapter contains a good deal of violence. I want to be sure that everyone knows the series will only continue to get more intense as the series goes on. _

_Oh, and I know there are a bunch of you who are reading this story and not reviewing. There's nothing wrong with that of course and I do realize of course that not everyone is a reviewer type, but I would appreciate a short review just to let me know what you think (give a little constructive criticism and be specific- I really want to know what needs improvement now that the story is really taking off)._

_Hope everyone had a great TG!!! _

_Best,_

_-Don =)_

* * *

There were a lot of things that Jag Fel had to think over in his life. Most, he'd rather have died along with the people the thoughts were connected with. The memories were the worst. Jag's memories of his siblings were, for the most part, all positive. That made forgetting them that much harder. A feat, thus far, Jag had been unable to accomplish. He had made himself into a cold unapproachable soldier, a hardened Chiss soldier his father could rely on for any mission no matter the cost to either the other party or to Jag himself. Jag was apathetic and went forth without so much as a glance sideways, leastways backwards.

Jag's siblings had died on the same mission and both had come back covered in red soaked sheets with the Chiss military's insignia. Jag had been there, watching as his older brother and sister were both revealed, their mutilated bodies from so many hits by blasters, and their clearly pained expressions brought no comfort to the boy who had many years to go before manhood. The photograph Jag had on his chain was one to carry as a reminder that Jag was not going to forget that he too had a duty, like his siblings, to the Chiss military and to protecting its people. Jag gave up any ambitions from before that day, anything from his past was blanketed by the sheets of the day his siblings and his life, as he knew it, died.

Even Cem, who was enthusiastic and steadily growing as a soldier, was nothing compared to how cold and calculated Jag was in his fighting. The older Fel had made eliminating the enemies of the Chiss and their allies his new path. Jag was a horse with blinders on. He only obeyed his father and treated his friends and anyone he met with bitterness.

No one, not even his younger sister, who had been too young to fully understand what had happened to her older siblings at the time, could change Jag Fel's heart. Jag was a prime example to Chiss soldiers, a rising protégé, whose only mindset was to accomplish every mission quickly and without error. Jag had even forgotten what the sound of a laugh was like and how his cheeks felt when a smile graced them. Icy pang were the most of the emotions Jag felt, and even when he was hurt in battle, he felt nothing at all. More than anything, Jag held everyone around him in contempt. What did they know of the galaxy? What did they know of loss? Who was anyone to tell him what was right and wrong? No, killing enemies of the Chiss was the only right and would continue to be until Jag's life came to an end. For that duration Jag would live for his military and die by it. That was what Jag had decided. That was what Jag had made up his mind to do indefinitely.

At least, until now.

Jag was now acquainted with one of the most irritatingly amazing women in the entire galaxy. She was always getting under Jag's skin and causing him to reminisce about everything he'd done in the past and everything he planned to do. From the first moment of their meeting Jag was sure she was out to ruin his life and to turn him traitor to the Chiss. He was infuriated that his uncle, Wedge Antilles, had even suggested that he, Jag Fel, work with her, a Solo. The Solo family had a long history of bad relations with the Fel family. So all those of Fel blood steered clear of the Solos, up until Jag Fel met Jaina Solo there were many things that were on a set track.

But Jaina didn't feel anywhere near as close to Jag as he did to her. That was clear to Jag. No matter what he'd say or do, Jag would never be able to reach Jaina's heart. Not when the state of his own heart was the equivalent of a planet hit by too many times by war and was too badly torn into different directions to know where to begin repairing it. Jag couldn't measure up to someone whose love was pure enough that she wouldn't risk losing it even when the person it was meant for was already dead. It was hard to accept. Jag knew, there was one thing that Jag had plenty of experience in, so Jag knew very well how the mind could easily get lost in what should be and what is.

At least now Jag was able to have the heart enough to not tell her that waiting for the dead to change one's current anguish, was futile.

Jag's eyes shot open as he heard a thump and a crash from Jaina's room. His reaction was immediate and he was down the hallway in seconds to fling open Jaina's door to find her own the floor, unconscious.

"Jaina?" He questioned, and then checked over her for injuries, and finding none, Jag lifted her back onto her bed. The door opened behind Jag and Jobal and Emily entered.

"What happened?" Jobal asked, frowning.

"Is she alright?" Emily asked, noticing Jaina's pale state.

"She's unconscious," Jag said, his brow furrowed and his eyes cold. "There're no external injuries so I'm thinking it must have been a shock of some kind."

"Shock?" Emily asked. Jag nodded.

"Jedi are connected to many things, including people, someone must have died." This time the voice came from behind all of them. A man with golden brown hair and a crisply cut beard stood in the doorway. His bangs hung in his face and his bright green eyes shone with an energy Jag had never seen before. The man's attire was casual, the kind for working in the fields or exercise.

"Mortimer," Emily said breathlessly. _So this, _Jag thought with stern interest, _Is Mortimer Veila._

The man crossed over to where Jaina lay and placed his hand over her forehead and closed his eyes. For a moment no one in the room moved or said anything. Mortimer then lifted his hands and his eyes reopened.

"I'm able to detect pain, and a lot of it from her mind, but that's all I can feel at this point." He started for the door and turned to Jag, "You'd best get her home. This might be more personal than you can handle, Jagged Fel."

With that Mortimer was gone and Jag was left with a feeling of chilliness in the air around him. Jaina was suffering from something inside and there was nothing he could do about it.

"I'll help you to pack," Jobal offered and went to the door, and Jag turned, casting a quick glance back at Jaina before following Jobal to Jag's room.

Leia woke with a screaming rushing through her body and out through her lips. "Jacen! No… no, no, not Jacen!" She felt hands grip her shoulders in comfort and a gentle voice in her ears.

"Leia, what's wrong? Leia?" Han questioned and then frowned as he looked around their otherwise empty apartment. Down the hallway, another door opened and a figure came to the Solo residence. The door opened and a tired and worn looking Luke entered, coming over to his sister and brother in law.

"Luke? Do you know what's wrong? What's going on?" Han asked. Luke's tired expression as well as the newly formed lines in Luke's forehead told Han what he needed to know. Luke answered with a stony tone to voice the painful truth Han was already coming to grips with.

"Jacen's dead." Luke stated, knowing in the force that it was true. Nothing argued with it and the presence was completely gone. Jacen was gone.

"I don't believe it," Han said, his voice distant and airy, "I won't." Han's eyes flared, "He's not! Your force powers are lying! He's not gone!" Han growled.

Luke looked at Han with sympathy, "And Leia's too? I felt Jaina pass out just now. He's gone, Han. We were too late."

Han pulled away from Leia and picked up the closest object to him, the lamp from the bedside table and hurled it at the mirror, which shattered on impact. Then Han rounded on Luke, Han's face red and his fists shaking.

"Wasn't Chewie enough? The force has to go and take Jacen too?!" Han yelled, his anger was now a loose cannon. Han walked out of the room and went straight to the door to the apartment.

"Han, where are you going?" Luke asked, with concern at his friend's outburst and the obvious uncertain emotions roiling around in Han's mind and body. The force was warning Luke to watch Han's actions but Luke could do little to stop Han when he was this unstable. As Han was more likely to kill someone in his current state. This was the Han of before his marriage, of before warmth and comfort, when Han had to live on the raw materials of the galaxy. The cool Han, self centered and ready to blast anyone aside was present and the Han post the rebellion was gone.

"To find the bottom of a glass," Han's emotionless voice brought stabs to Luke's heart and the door slamming that followed sent shudders down Luke's spine.

Anakin had felt it. The sudden disappearance of his brother's force presence and the blank expression it left Anakin with was enough to cause Tahiri to backtrack and check on him.

"Anakin?" She inquired. "What's wrong?"

Anakin sucked in his breath and then released it with a ragged sigh. "Jacen's dead."

Tahiri's eyes went wide and her own insides jolted. "Are you sure?"

Anakin nodded, his blue eyes sullen, "This time he's gone. I can tell." Anakin's entire body was cold and his mind blank. He wasn't sure what to think. His brother, the one who had teased Anakin but been there for Anakin whenever he needed advice or ruffling of the hair, was dead. The other half of the twin bond that had always given Anakin hope, and had given him something to look up to or to depend on in a tough situation, was now split in two.

Who would give Anakin a hard time now that Jacen was gone? Who would tell Anakin to stop being an annoying little brother and acting self righteous all the time? Who would argue with Anakin until his face turned purple from anger? Who would send Anakin into fits of laughter or cause him to roll his eyes at terrible jokes? Who would balance out the Solo family with someone who had their heart in the right place while everyone else was hurting from the galaxy falling apart at its hinges?

Jacen, the brother who had survived and defied death so many times was dead. The force had finally claimed its toll, for whatever reason it had, the force had taken Jacen into the void and he wasn't coming back.

Tenel Ka sat with her back to the door as she sat on the bed alone. It was all over. Jacen had slipped away from her while she sleeping from a drug that someone had put in her food. Tenel Ka had sent her best investigators to look into the matter of the drugging and they had yet to bring back results. She expected her head of security, an officer from Hapes, to interrogate all the members of the kitchen staff and other workers in their apartment building. Security was tripled and the New Republic's council was informed of the incident. Now Tenel Ka was by herself.

The cleanup crew and med-squad had come within ten minutes of Tenel Ka's call and they had confirmed what Tenel Ka had already known. Jacen was long dead before Tenel Ka had woken up. His body was still lying in the other room, having been cleaned and covered in the apartment at Tenel Ka's request. His still body was no comfort. It was simply a reminder that Tenel Ka had no one to tell her jokes or to kiss her at all the wrong times. Tenel Ka already missed Jacen despite the fact that her mind was trying to deny what was sitting in the other room. Who would stand by her and support her now that her rock, the only person to ever care so deeply about her that he'd abandon his own life to protect her own, was dead? What could Tenel Ka do to fill the empty space on the bed that was growing cold and the indent left by Jacen's form were beginning to flatten?

Without warning Tenel Ka's entire body began shaking and tears started down her cheeks, slowly at first but then there were so many that Tenel Ka was sure her face was soaked. Nothing could stop the pain from spreading. The only one who could have made Tenel Ka smile was gone.

Anakin brought his head up abruptly as they reached a clearing in the forest. To the right of the cluster of trees surrounding the clearing stood a small furry creature with a hood on its head. Its teddy-bear esc appearance was nothing but a surprise to Anakin because of the strong vibes he was getting in the force from this creature. A creature he knew only from his parents as well as his uncle's stories about the battle on the forest moon of Endor.

"An ewok." Anakin said with his voice barely audible. Tahiri mirrored Anakin's expression as she too had noticed the creature. Tahiri had seen even less of the galaxy's stranger critters and alien races because she'd spent most of her life on either Tatooine or Yavin 4.

The ewok turned its head and rested its round brown eyes on Anakin. The gray-black fur rippled as a breeze ran through it. A scruffy and softened tone of basic greeted the two humans, "You have returned."

Anakin blinked. "Returned?" He cast a glance at Tahiri, who shrugged. "Sorry, but we've never been here before."

The ewok let out a low laugh, a friendly as well as heartwarming sound, it was like the sound of a child who has had no worries and was innocent of the galaxy. "I am sorry, that was vague of me. I only meant that you, as Jedi, have returned to Endor after having been gone for so long."

Anakin sensed no deceit from the ewok, nor did Anakin see any reason to distrust the creature. "Er, who are you?"

"Gi-Nego," The ewok replied, "Son of Gi-Rei who fought in the battle of Endor." The pride in the ewok's tone was evident to both Anakin and Tahiri. The furry creature scrutinized Anakin and Tahiri for a moment, leaning on his tiny staff.

"How did you know we were Jedi?" Anakin asked. Tahiri nodded.

"How else, but through the force?" Gi-Nego's smile was wistful as well as humored. "Jedi abilities do not only come to humans."

Anakin's jaw almost dropped a little but he held it in place. After all, he'd found more than enough Jedi hiding just outside of the New Republic's scope to know that there were more Jedi in different places than even Luke Skywalker realized.

"You're a master." Anakin said, the recognition had hit him along with the feeling of trust that Anakin felt towards Gi-Nego.

"Unofficially, yes," Gi-Nego answered. "I have mastered the ways of the force but I have no students."

Anakin's eyes shifted to the surrounding trees and he felt the cool air circulating against his skin. "You want to ask something of me." Anakin stated. He could feel more thoughts from this complete stranger as time went on and the strangeness of how much Anakin could feel was only increasing. _This was what Mara was talking about. I'm not aware of when I get into the minds of others and how. Not good. _

"Very perceptive," Gi-Nego commented with approval as well as with a tone of cool observation. "I'll withhold my questions about how you broke through my mind defenses for now," The round brown eyes harshly bore into Anakin before moving to look at both Tahiri and Anakin as a whole, "I wish to talk with you about the Jedi in the galaxy. I have not left Endor since my birth. I do not know what the Jedi of the galaxy are up to right now, and therefore I cannot continue as a master until I have done so."

Anakin briefly wondered why the ewok hadn't tried to leave before, but left off questioning the furry master for later. "Well, I can only tell you so much," Anakin said, "I'm not very old myself. You should talk to my uncle, Luke Skywalker."

"Very good, Anakin," An all too familiar voice said from behind Anakin, "Now I won't have to look for Gi-Nego myself."

Anakin's insides clenched. He didn't need the force to sense the venom behind the words or the anger that would fuel the speaker's initial intent, "There's no reason for us to fight, Uldir." Anakin answered, his blue eyes turning cold. His hand dropped to where his blaster sat in its holster. Anakin had hoped he'd not have to use it, but it might come to a battle if Uldir was as bitter as he sounded.

"Well, aren't you jumping to conclusions, Anakin?" Uldir's falsely friendly tone didn't go unnoticed by Tahiri, who was also reaching for her blaster.

_Tahiri, _Anakin said through their mind bond, _Just this once, we need to run. I don't trust Uldir's state right now._

_Me either, I'm with you. _

Anakin quickly drew his blaster and shot several lasers at a tree to bring it down down and threw caution to the wind, "Master, go!" He yelled, but the small furry Jedi had already vanished upon Uldir's arrival.

Anakin then broke into a run, his legs pumping as fast as they possibly could. Tahiri wasn't far behind. A blast struck Anakin's leg and he stumbled then rolled into a kneeling position to fire blasts at Uldir who fell back to dodge the shots. Anakin then started running again, glancing behind him to make sure Tahiri was still with him. She was, but she was also firing, but within the one second where she hesitated to see where Uldir had disappeared to, the blaster flew from her hand and two consecutive shots were fired as Anakin came back to grab Tahiri. The first hit Tahiri in the leg, causing her to stumble to the ground, and the second tore through the flesh of Anakin's shoulder. He didn't wait to begin firing his own blaster but Uldir had the upper hand. Uldir aimed at Tahiri's head and Anakin's instinct launched him in front of the laser so the blast hit Anakin's head. Then he went down.

Uldir stepped over, his cool eyes watching for any movements from either one of the fallen Jedi. Seeing none, except the brief look of disbelief Tahiri shot him before Uldir impassively pulled out his stun blaster and shot her.

Jag stood outside the emergency ward doors, leaning against the wall with his arms folded. His green eyes had lost their brief amount of gentle tone that had appeared for a short time. Now he was receiving a good amount of fearful looks from the hospital staff and from the visitors sitting in the waiting room behind him.

"Mommy, that human's scary," A young bothan was tugging at its mother's sleeve and the alien glanced at Jag for a moment before telling the child, "He's just a human." Then at a second glance the mother frowned. Her eyes screamed fury and pain. "No, he's a Chiss. Just ignore him." The mother added.

Jag's expression didn't change. He'd gotten a fair amount of flack in the past for being a Chiss and being part of the Chiss military. Even though Jag had turned out to be human because his mother was human, his blood was part Chiss and therefore he too was a Chiss, or to put it in the galaxy's terms, a monster.

Jag snorted with a wry smile. That was fine by him. He'd done enough to deserve any cold treatment he received. The doors to the emergency ward opened and a doctor walked in, looked around then noticed Jag and crossed over.

"Are you the one who came in with Jaina Solo?" The doctor asked. Jag nodded.

"I am."

"Well, Mr, um-" The doctor looked at Jag, searching for a name.

"Fel," Jag put in. The doctor nodded.

"Mr. Fel," The doctor continued, the bothan mother was still giving Jag a frosty glare and her gaze only hardened when she heard the name 'Fel' mentioned. "It appears Ms. Solo is suffering from a severe amount of trauma caused by something completely outside the body. We haven't found anything wrong with her physically but at the moment she's likely to go into a post-traumatic coma."

Jag's eyes narrowed, "Coma?" His jaw tightened. Out of the corner of his eyes Jag noticed the bothan mother watching him, her expression neutral now. _Funny how a tragic occurrence followed by pity can change the tunes of anyone, no matter who it was that had caused previous pain in the past, _Jag thought to himself.

"Yes, I'm afraid all we can do at the moment is to continue to monitor her progress and hope the shock wears off." The doctor consulted his charts then returned his attention to Jag. "Are you able to contact her family?"

"Yes," Jag answered, though he didn't relish the prospect of having to tell Leia Organa Solo and Han Solo that their daughter was now in a coma for a reason Jag himself was completely unaware of. He held in the sigh he was about to exhale. "I'll go tell them myself." He immediately regretted making the promise but at this point he had made a commitment and Jag didn't back down on his commitments no matter what they entailed.

"We will keep you informed of her progress once her parents give us the contact information," The doctor gave Jag a sympathetic pat. "I'm sorry, Mr. Fel." Then the doctor moved on to talk to the bothan mother who was now completely engrossed in telling the doctor what was wrong with her child. But at this point Jag had stopped caring, he was now making his way out of the hospital to complete what he was sure would be the worst mission of his entire life.

After hours of waiting in cold cell for what seemed like hours, Anakin and Tahiri were hauled up roughly and half led and half dragged by a group of ill tempered barabels to separate rooms in the former Imperial military base.

Anakin looked up as the door to the interrogation room opened. It was one that the Imperials had used at one point because after all, it was in their base. The place was abandoned but apparently someone had discovered how to revive it.

Uldir strode into the room, Anakin, who had his hands cuffed and chained behind his back could do nothing more than glare at his former friend. The chains were probably an added precaution, Anakin thought. They cut into his wrists whenever he moved so Anakin tried his best to stay still.

"So," Uldir said as he took a seat on the opposite side of the table from Anakin, "You're here without a lightsaber, hmmm?" He grinned. "That makes things easier."

Uldir leafed through files in front of him for a few minutes, not saying anything. Then he looked up at Anakin, a disappointed expression forming.

"You don't seem to have done anything extraordinary." He stood up and walked over to Anakin. In a swift motion he punched Anakin directly in his nose. Anakin heard the crunch and had to use the force to dim the pain and bit down on his tongue to stop from screaming.

He could feel Tahiri's panic through their bond, he sent a calming feeling through to her but she was still uneasy.

Uldir sat back down, casting a glance at Anakin's face, which was now covered in blood and dripping.

"Let me be clear, Anakin. I know you're more likely to withstand pain than Tahiri is. So why don't you just tell me exactly where Gi-Nego is?"

Anakin glared at Uldir. "You touch her-"

"Oho, you think you can do anything in your position?" He clasped his hands together on the table, a complacent 'matter of fact' smile forming on his lips, "I could kill you right now, you know."

Anakin coughed and snarled, "Eat bantha dung." Uldir shrugged and stood up, slowly making his way around to Anakin.

"You really are like me, you know. We both have no idea when to give up-" He shoved Anakin's head against the edge of the table, and blood trickled from the top right part of Anakin's forehead and a bruise had begun to appear down most of the right side of his face. The left side was haphazardly bound to cover the gash caused by the blaster shot from their struggle in the forest. Now his head was hurting too much for him to concentrate. He felt a twinge in the force as Tahiri's pain seared through his mind.

"Tahiri!" He cried and then glared at Uldir. Anakin's breathing was now ragged and labored. His tongue was also bleeding from having bitten down so hard.

"She's fine. Just a small shock. She's awake and fine. "He hopped onto the table, looking down at Anakin's battered face. "You're a noble sort, Anakin. I know you won't withhold any information if I threaten her. Neither would Tahiri. The question is," He scrutinized Anakin carefully, enjoyment of the moment evident on his features. Uldir clearly liked being the one with the upper hand. Anakin was sickened by Uldir's meditative tone and the way he was treating the whole situation like a joke." How far are you willing to go before either one of you caves?"

"Why- do- you- want -Gi-Nego?" Anakin forced the words of his mouth, his eyes drooping as he slipped into a semi-conscious state.

"I don't." Uldir replied. "I could care less. I work for a group of wealthy barabels, they're officers in the barabel police force and Gi-Nego has made them angry. So I imagine it's a legal matter that's none of my business."

"So you'd sell him out? And use us to do it?" Anakin snapped. Uldir smiled sadly, though Anakin detected no such emotion from Uldir.

"Business is business. I told you guys I'd do what I could to keep this galaxy in check. I found that they have a better idea of the world than your Jedi Masters did." Uldir folded his arms across his chest and placed a hand on Anakin's shoulder. "Trust me, you know I've done wrong before, but this time I know I'm right. Because this time I've found the force. You're weak, Anakin. Because you always work in a team, you'll never know what the force feels like on your own."

Anakin's head sagged and then he slumped over before he could respond. Uldir snorted. "Like I said. Weak."

Tenel Ka rose to her feet after hearing the knock at the door to the apartment. She'd lost track of the time since Jacen's death and only got up to take care of Valin and have small meals to keep herself healthy for the sake of the child in her womb.

Tenel Ka opened the door and found herself surprised at the person standing in the doorway.

"Hello, Queen Tenel Ka," The dark haired man bowed stiffly from his waist and waited for Tenel Ka's permission to rise.

"Please, no formalities here." She said. She knew this man vaguely, he was often seen with Jaina Solo. But why would he come here? "Will you come in?" Tenel Ka offered. He nodded and entered slowly.

"Jag Fel, correct?" Tenel Ka asked. Jag nodded. "You are good friends with Jaina."

"I am not sure I would put it in such positive terms. I am simply a warrior who is delivering a message." Jag answered, his voice betrayed no pain but the force told Tenel Ka differently.

"You have come to ask me for a favor." She stated. He stiffened then nodded.

"Yes, to give a message to Leia Organa Solo and Han Solo." Jag's brow furrowed. "I am not, because of my lineage, on the best terms with any member of the Solo family aside from Jaina."

Tenel Ka nodded her understanding but also voiced it as well, "I understand. I will give them the message."

"I appreciate this," Jag inclined his head, "Please inform them that due to unknown circumstances, Jaina collapsed and is now in a coma."

Tahiri sat on the cold cell floor and then looked up as Anakin was shoved in by two barabels. They slammed the door shut and walked down the hall, chattering to themselves. Tahiri crawled over to Anakin and cradled his upper body in her lap. He blinked the blood out of his eyes and stared up at Tahiri.

"I felt your pain." He croaked. She brushed his hair from his face and tried to wipe the blood from his it with her sleeve.

"I'm fine. He just gave me a small taser, it hurt but he actually beat you, Anakin." She touched his right cheek and he grimaced. "We can't keep this up. You'll die before he relents."

Anakin sucked in his breath, closing his eyes in pain, and then reopened them to breathe out his next words, "No, I won't sell out Gi-Nego." He watched Tahiri's expression. "He won't hurt you, Tahiri. I know he won't."

She gave him an incredulous expression. "Are you crazy? You can't run that risk, Anakin. How could you say that when he tortured you? There's nothing we can do. Uldir obviously has no sense of right left in him, no matter what he says." She gazed down at Anakin, "What makes you think he won't?"

"Trust me. I know." Anakin said, trying to sit up. Tahiri pushed him back down and tore off a strip of her shirt to clean up his nose. He winced and used the force to block out the pain.

"You should go into a force trance." She said, still cleaning his face. Anakin shook his head, making her stop.

"I'm going to break through to him." He then stood up and wobbled, then staggered over to one of the benches where he collapsed. Tahiri jumped to her feet with all her strength and came over to the bench and sat next to Anakin as he lay vertical, completely unconscious. Tahiri bit her lip. Despite that Anakin had told her to trust him, she couldn't understand why Uldir would hurt Anakin and not her. But it made some sense since he really hadn't touched her. The guard had only tasered her once and that was it. Then she was forced back into her cell to wait.

She would have to trust Anakin. If he had such strong volition to believe that she wouldn't be touched, he had to have a good reason and she wanted to believe he was right. But that didn't mean that Anakin would make it through Uldir's next series of torture methods. Even if she wouldn't be harmed, having Anakin endure more pain didn't appeal to Tahiri at all. Uldir wasn't holding back. If Anakin let him, Uldir would kill Anakin.

A few hours passed and Tahiri managed to sleep some. Then the door banged open and Tahiri watched as four guards entered. Two of them lifted Anakin up, who was barely awake and half led, half dragged him down the right corridor. The two others gestured for Tahiri to get up and follow them. She did so and went down the hall to a small room where she sat. The guards stood beside her, but did nothing. Then a sharp pain seared through her left arm. Anakin had been right. So far, he was the only one in pain. But because Uldir knew the extent of their bond, he could affect both of them.

Uldir would wait, however, a few days or so and Anakin might be tired enough from repeated torture to open up and spill Gi-Nego's location, among other things.

Jag left the Hapan Queen's apartment, his head lowered slightly in the sober guilt he felt at dumping the message on Tenel Ka, especially now that he knew why Jaina had gone into a coma in the first place. Jacen Solo had been killed and his partner, Tenel Ka, was in a state of extreme anguish. Now Jag had given her the task of telling Han Solo and Leia Organa Solo that their daughter had gone into a coma because of the death.

_I really am a monster, _Jag thought, stopping and holding his head in his hand. He had just brought more grief on a family that was already broken enough as it was.

Tenel Ka sat on the couch across from Leia. It was only shortly after Jag had left Tenel Ka's apartment that the Hapan Queen had realized that now was the best time to tell Leia before Jaina's condition worsened, which was entirely possible.

"So what's this about, Tenel Ka?" Leia looked at her daughter in law. Even though Jacen was gone, Leia wanted to make Tenel Ka feel as much a part of the Solo family as before.

"The son of Baron Fel came by to give me a message," Tenel Ka replied, her voice flat and emotionless to hide the tearing feeling that was threatening to cause Tenel Ka to break down once more.

"Jag Fel?" Leia looked surprised. "He's been around Jaina a lot lately. I wonder why he came to you."

"Because what he had to say was about Jaina." Tenel Ka answered plainly, her voice letting loose some of the strain.

"What happened?" Leia inquired, her eyes frowning. Through the force Leia had sensed the pain in Tenel Ka, and that it surrounded Jaina and not Jacen.

"Jaina is in a coma," Tenel Ka said, "She is at the main hospital in Coruscant. Jag brought her there after she collapsed."

Leia's face paled and her entire body became rigid. Leia knew the shock of Jacen's death would hit Jaina the hardest of all the children, but a coma? Losing Zekk and Jacen must have done that. The combination was too much for Jaina to handle.

"I did not wish to cause any more pain for you, Mrs. Solo," Tenel Ka said, lowering her gaze. Leia immediately looked up at that comment.

"Oh, Sweetie," Leia said and wrapped her arms around Tenel Ka, who was slowly losing control of her tear ducts again. "You're not causing pain for any of us. Jacen loved you and we do as well." Tenel Ka let herself be embraced, possibly for the first time in years by a motherly figure. Tenel Ka's mother had never really been the type to hug and show affection, and when she did it was done rarely and in a formal way. This was a new feeling for Tenel Ka.

"If it'll help you, you can start calling me 'Mother.' I think Jacen would have wanted that." Leia said. Tenel Ka bobbed her head wordlessly.

Kirk frowned as he heard the reports from the officers about the attempted murder in the docking bay. It was clear to Kirk that Soontir was more than willing to sacrifice his son for the price of dealing a just punishment for show. The very thought was revolting.

But now something else was bothering Kirk. The results had come back from James' blood tests as the Chiss doctors treated the young man, but the supposed birth parents that James' had mentioned were on record but their DNA samples didn't match James'. They were not James' birth parents and as far as the Chiss doctors were concerned, there were no matches for James' blood in the entire record listing. This was strange as Kirk knew that the Chiss records included all the families in the New Republic as well as every planet in the entire registered galaxy.

Concerned, Kirk had requested that individuals that might have similar blood results be compared. Now Kirk had to wait for the results to come in. It could take hours, and the tests had already two days to complete. During this time Kirk hadn't gotten any sleep, he spent the hours questioning the doctors, watching James' room, which was now assigned a squad of Chiss soldiers for security. Kirk himself now had two bodyguards assigned to him. He guessed that Soontir had resisted giving Kirk more on account of Kirk's annoyed reaction to the idea. That and Soontir knew that Kirk's fighting skills more than proficient to handle any other attacks. Kirk's immediate reaction to the explosives proved that much.

"Master Dekim?" The Chiss doctor stood to attention as Kirk turned around. Soontir's clear respect and care for Kirk had earned Kirk a status of reverence from all the Chiss soldiers and even the doctors.

"Yes?" Kirk answered, his eyes focused on the doctor who saluted before speaking again.

"We have the results, Sir," The doctor waited patiently as Kirk's brow twitched.

"Proceed with your report, Doctor," Kirk said, rubbing his temples. The doctor nodded and began to speak as confidently as possible. Kirk's appearance was enough to unnerve anyone who didn't know that Kirk usually looked this distraught and frustrated on a regular basis.

"According to our records," The doctor licked his lips nervously, "James Oldresk does not exist." The doctor shifted uncomfortably as Kirk's eyes flared.

"Doesn't exist? What do you mean?" Kirk demanded.

"Our records indicate that the Oldresk family never had a son, biological or adopted. So we checked the individuals listed in our records for a possible match."

Kirk's brow shadowed his eyes, "And?"

"There was a match. Just one." The doctor swallowed visibly as Kirk's icy stare rested on the doctor.

"One?" Kirk questioned. _There was no way that a child could only have one match… unless…_ realization dawned on Kirk before the doctor stated the fact that Kirk now knew to be the truth.

" The person you know as James Oldresk is the exact biological match to a former stormtrooper commander by the name of Fenix Detron," The doctor paused then finished, "James is to be more accurate, Fenix Detron's clone."

James, who had been straining to hear the conversation, had heard it all, every word that was said. He now knew he wasn't a real person, he was an imitation, a science experiment, and more than anything, he was a fabrication designed to kill. The clone of a stormtrooper, and in all ways that mattered, James was a traitor to his entire family.

The first week in the cell had left Anakin a literal bloody mess and his raw energy was now the only thing keeping him going. That and the intention to resist any and all of Uldir's attempts to torture Gi-Nego's location of Anakin, all of which had failed and true to Anakin's predictions, Tahiri had been left alone for the most part. Occasional tasering was used but it was nothing like the abuse Anakin was enduring.

Two barabels came into the cell where Anakin's latest cuts were being treated by Tahiri. She glanced over as the barabels stood expectantly in the doorway.

"He already went in once, isn't that enough?" Tahiri demanded.

"Orders are orders, Jedi," The first barabel stated flatly. They then came over and lifted Anakin to his feet and escorted him out, and the door clanged shut behind them. Tahiri bit her lip. She was sure Anakin would die before he said anything. He was too noble. She was also sure that Uldir had stopped caring a long time ago whether or not Anakin told him anything or not.

In the interrogation room Uldir pulled back from the punch he'd laid in Anakin's chest. Then he grinned dementedly.

"I have something to show you, Anakin. It's my latest force technique. I wonder if Luke Skywalker would ever teach you this, but then again," He smiled again, his eyes glinting, "He doesn't know how to break people like the dark Jedi and sith do."

Anakin watched as Uldir shut his eyes then Anakin felt something creeping into his mind, something was tearing apart Anakin's walls and the pain as the new presence entered and began to search around, ravaging Anakin's defenses. Anakin put up a fight but with his current exhausted state, his mind was now in Uldir's complete control. Anakin winced and used his energy to lift his defenses. Uldir took the baton and hit Anakin, who bit down on his lip hard then gritted his teeth as his mind was then torn through, Uldir was overturning and going through all of Anakin's memories. Anakin's mind then gave a little more and the pain of having the pained memories of losing Chewie pushed to the forefront and the hurt that Tahiri endured in losing Sliven, Anakin lost control and his mind reacted harshly. The full blast of fury grabbed a hold of Uldir's mind, which was vulnerable because it was focused on entering Anakin's mind, then it ripped through, a rampaging beast, bringing up every single memory and thought Uldir was trying to hide and then it hit the physical brain and attacked it before leaving abruptly.

In the real world, Uldir was on the ground, breathing heavily and bleeding from his ears. The trauma to the brain had left Uldir stunned. Anakin's forceful push was enough to tell Uldir that mind attacks were futile. Anakin was powerful enough to kill Uldir through his mind alone.

Uldir finally found his voice. "You," He said with his eyes unfocused then reoriented himself enough to glare at Anakin in confusion, "Have the ability to break minds as well."

Anakin took one look at Uldir then regurgitated before passing out.

James sat in stony silence when Kirk had entered and told James what he already knew. Then Kirk had left, and a wary looking Wyn Fel stood in the doorway.

"What are you still doing here?" James demanded. She raised an eyebrow.

"Why shouldn't I be here?" She asked. "You're not a murderer or anything."

"I'm not a person either." He stated, the vehemence in his tone leaking, "Don't you get it?" He snapped, "I'm not real! I'm the copy of someone else! I have nothing that's me, nothing that's just my own person."

Wyn cocked her head to one side, "Funny, I don't recall ever having met a stormtrooper who wanted to be his own person."

"Well, I'm not." James stated firmly. Wyn walked over to James' bedside and looked him straight in the eyes.

"You seem real enough to me." She observed. "And it doesn't matter if you're a clone. You make yourself into who you are by doing things not being born a certain way." Wyn took the seat next to the bed.

"That's just idealistic talk." James said coldly.

"It might be idealistic, but does that make it any less true?" Wyn questioned. She sighed when James didn't answer. "Look, I know you must think you can only be seen as the person whose looks you have."

"Wyn, I'm not just his look alike. I'm exactly like him, blood type, DNA, down to every cell in my body, it's all the same." James said, his voice sounding resigned and hurt. Wyn noted that he'd neglected to use her last or full name when addressing her, a sure sign that he wasn't hiding his true feelings now.

"You know what, twin's are like that too," She pointed out, "They look alike and often get treated alike, but they're completely different people." She smiled warmly, "It's all about the kind of experiences you have. No one who meets you should be able to tell you who you should be based on blood. Moreover you shouldn't let them. I don't." Wyn folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her chair.

James opened his mouth then shut it. Wynessa Fel definitely had a hard time escaping the molds of the Fel family. It was a family raised to be militaristic and was drenched in the bloody traditional of living and dying for the Chiss military's honor. Wyn had been running from that for years, James guessed, she was stronger than James was.

"You're right."

Wyn blinked, "I am?"

He smiled and gave a small nod, "You are. I've been worried about being the clone of a person who isn't even alive now as far as I know. If anything, I know I should be worried about other things."

Wyn got over her shock at James' response enough to pose her next question, "Like what?"

He felt something in the back of his mind. "Something's wrong." James knew that it was the force and it was telling him that someone was in danger. There was a brief image of a forest planet that flashed through his mind then James pushed himself up. "I have to go."

"Like that?" Wyn asked, raising an amused eyebrow at James' hospital gown. He scowled at her and continued to walk away. Kirk met James on the way out of the hospital room.

"James? What's wrong?" Kirk noted James' expression.

"Anakin and Tahiri are in danger." James stated. Kirk nodded, not bothering to ask how James knew, because Kirk had gotten a similar feeling a few moments before.

"Unfortunately I can't come with you. I've committed to helping Soontir with the search for Cem." Kirk noticed Wyn's grimace at the mention of her older brother. "Take Wyn and go find Anakin and Tahiri."

James nodded. "Wait a second," He paused, "Kashyyk, that's where my vision told me to go." He immediately started back to his room where he changed into his tunic and pants, then slipped on his boots. Then James exited the room and found that Kirk was holding something out to James. He blinked then realized it was Kirk's lightsaber.

"If you need it, use it." Kirk stated. James looked from the lightsaber to Kirk's eyes, which were resolute. James put the lightsaber in his belt then nodded his thanks.

"May the force be with you, James." Kirk said with a curt nod.

"Same to you." James answered before running to the docking bay. James knew where he could go and where he could find the help he needed.

**A/N- Next chapter is on its way! Please review!! =)**


	17. Flowers that bloom, flowers that wilt

** Chapter 16**

** Flowers that bloom, flowers that wilt**

_A/N- Hey All! I guess I'm a roll with the chapters here. I actually broke down an excerpt and that's the majority of what you've been reading (and then some new material I'd worked on more recently- I edited the bantha poodoo out of it so now it's just a matter of posting it). I have two weeks until I go on my Winter Break and then I have my job term (I'll be at home then of course). _

_I can't say how much writing I'll get done between the two part-time jobs I'm going to be working but I will definitely do what I can (since there's no try). _

_Oh! Oh! Oh! Before I forget, I want to let everyone know that I'll be starting a new fan fic at some point titled "Somewhere Out There" and it's centered around Obi-Wan as a student (it's AU of course). I plan to post that maybe a little after Winter Break (so I'm pretty much done with my YJK fan fic at that point). Although I have to admit my YJK is kinda on hiatus so I might start "Somewhere…" earlier if no progress is made. _

_Keep checking to that story and for anyone who's interested I'm going to post a Thanksgiving one-shot for Young Wizards soon too._

_Please enjoy!_

_-Don "QuixoticQuest" =)_

* * *

Uldir stepped back. Anakin's arm had blood oozing from a deep cut in his forearm. Uldir held a small dagger in his hand and twirled it. "Well, you're quite resistant. I suppose by now you've realized I won't do anything to Tahiri."

It was already the second week that Anakin and Tahiri had been in the captivity of Uldir and his band of barabels, and still Anakin maintained his silence about Gi-Nego and had put up a wall around his mind should Uldir attempt to break him again. Thus far Uldir hadn't tried another mind attack but Uldir had found other methods more effective than one that was sure to backfire.

"Yeah, I did." Anakin replied. He did all he could to keep from throwing up, clenching his teeth down and grinding them. Uldir set the dagger down on the table and pulled out a baton.

"The barabels lent this to me. Nifty creatures and strange," Uldir came over to Anakin and tapped his hand with the baton. Then without warning Uldir smacked Anakin solidly in his ribs. Anakin doubled over then caught his breath. Uldir then landed a punch in the same spot. Anakin didn't pull himself up again. But Uldir hit him several more times in the ribs with the baton until Anakin swore he heard a cracking sound. _Lately_, Anakin thought to himself, _I've been breaking those a lot. Definitely not a good habit to develop or maybe I already have_.

Tahiri assuredly felt his bones breaking because she cried out in anger. Anakin again sent a calming force feeling towards her but it did little to consol or to placate his friend. Uldir placed the baton on the table. Then he reached into his shirt pocket, "I've wanted to show you this. It's quite impressive if I do say so myself." He withdrew a metallic cylinder.

Anakin managed to move his eyes up to see the lightsaber. "You built one." Anakin said breathlessly.

"You noticed? It's a good one. I picked the stone from a meteor." He ran his fingers along the grip. Then he turned it on. A dark, almost onyx colored beam with white streaks shot up.

"I feel like I should duel you. But you left yours behind." He came over and brought the blade over to Anakin's left arm so it singed through the sleeve and burned Anakin's arm. Anakin let out a yelp.

Uldir brought the blade back and cut into Anakin's leg then stepped back while Anakin gasped. "I feel badly, I wanted to fight you, Anakin. Two like people, should make a good fight. Ah well, since you won't tell me, I'll just cause Tahiri to feel the pain of loss, and her tongue will loosen." He brought the blade over his head and then as it came down the door burst open and the lightsaber flew from his hand a blaster fire struck Uldir in his shoulder. Uldir growled then drew his blaster and fired it wildly before pushing his way out of the room.

"Go after him!" The person by the door holding the lightsaber called. Anakin sagged, and barely could make out the people in front of him. The brief glimpse of a blonde yellow blur told him Tahiri was there but there was the person holding the lightsaber.

"Here, hold my blaster, Tahiri." The person said and held the lightsaber close to Anakin's sore and bleeding wrists. "Hold still, Anakin." The voice was sharp but friendly. In a second the chains felt loose and clanged onto the floor. Then the rope dropped down.

Tahiri rushed over and caught Anakin before he could fall onto the floor. She draped his arm over her shoulder. The person who had cut the chains stood there, and then turned the lightsaber off.

"I don't want this." He said, tossing it to someone near the door. Anakin couldn't see much at this point. He could barely make out the outlines of Tahiri, who was holding him up. The other person supported his other side.

"How did you get here, James?" Anakin heard Tahiri ask. He smiled before passing out. So it was James.

"Daka told me she saw your ship." James replied, then he shifted Anakin's entire body over into his sturdy arms, carrying him like a small child, sleeping. "I've got him, you worry about getting to the ship."

Tahiri nodded, "Thanks." She paused, "Who's Daka?"

James continued walking as though he wasn't carrying anything. Tahiri noticed that James was a head or two taller and broader shouldered than Anakin and even Uldir was.

"Friend of mine. She was staying here for research with other wookiees. I felt your pain through the force and promised Master Skywalker I'd make sure you were okay since he couldn't make it out here."

"Well, you saved Anakin's life. Uldir was serious about killing him." She rubbed her arm and looked away. Her step had a limp in it from where Uldir's blaster had hit her.

"He was a friend, huh?" James' eyes softened and his expression turned sympathetic. Tahiri nodded. It was then that Tahiri noticed the girl to James' left, her hair shone brightly even in the dimly lit base.

James had apparently noticed Tahiri's line of vision because he answered her unasked question, "Tahiri, this is Wyn Fel, Wyn, Tahiri Veila."

"Pleased to meet ya," Wyn stuck out her hand to Tahiri, who in her surprised state couldn't do much more than shake Wyn's hand. So this was the Fel family's youngest child. In her time with Anakin and the rest of the Solo family Tahiri had heard stories about the Fels and their children, the living ones and the dead.

"Not very talkative, are you?" Wyn stated. James snorted and received a well earned smack on the back of his head from Tahiri.

"You could say I've learned that some things are best left unsaid," Tahiri shot a warning at James who seemed to have gotten the message because he had fallen silent.

"You were saying about your friend?" Wyn put in. Tahiri's mouth twitched.

"Someone Anakin and I knew when we were kids." She sighed. "I still don't get why he only hurt Anakin." She furrowed her brow. "I can't figure it out. Anakin said he knew why but wouldn't tell me."

James thought for a moment then smiled in a pained way. "I think it's because the truth would probably hurt you more because you'd know why Uldir was doing something to Anakin, so Anakin didn't tell you." James watched Tahiri's eyes cast their gaze down. "Anakin probably doesn't want you to know because there's still a part of Uldir that was sentimental but it was that part of him made him hurt Anakin."

She turned her head towards James as they walked through the doors of the base and into the forest. Their feet crunched on the floor, and voices called from up ahead and soon twelve wookiees with blasters came running. Tahiri immediately recognized one of them as Lowie, a good friend of Anakin's siblings.

"Oh, my, isn't that Master Anakin?" Em Tedee said. "He doesn't look so good." Lowie growled and Em Tedee felt silent. _Thanks for the astute observation, Em-Teedee. _James thought wryly.

"Hey Lowie, Daka," James nodded to the two front most wookiees. Daka was a white colored wookiee with reddish brown streaks down her face and back. Her yellow eyes glanced at Anakin then back up at James. She growled a few comments to which James responded. Daka obviously understood James and James understood the wookiee language. The fact impressed both Wyn and Tahiri a great deal. The wookiee tongue wasn't easy to understand or to speak well for that matter and James could do both.

To Tahiri's inquiring facial expression, James explained, "I spent a long time on Kashyyk during my time with the Peace Brigade. They were helping the wookiees rebuild some homes destroyed by the Yuuzhan Vong. I learned their language pretty quickly and Daka was one of the wookiees I became friends with." He then turned back to Daka and said, "Finish up whatever you need to do and leave."

"Halt." All eyes turned as a small ewok approached from the woods, leaning heavily on a makeshift staff. His black and white fur made him look almost like a cross between a badger and panda, and the gray only served to make him seem more dignified. His right eye had a scar over it that ran down to his furry cheek.

"Master Gi-Nego." Tahiri's astonishment matched that of her companions. The fact that the ewok spoke perfect basic was unusual.

"I wish to go with you and Anakin on your journey. It will do me good to see the world as it is now and not as my ancestors thought it was during the Empire." He hobbled forward and then stood up straight. "If I may."

Tahiri quickly nodded. "We would be honored to have you with us, Master."

James cast a look her way, "You mean you're not going back to Yavin 4 or Coruscant?" Tahiri shook her head.

"Anakin wouldn't like that?" James said, raising an eyebrow. Tahiri's mouth almost fell open. He shrugged, "Just a guess." He paused then continued, "Since you're not stopping, at least take my ship. It has a medical center on board with a bacta tank. It's not big but I think Anakin could use proper care." His eyes watched Tahiri as she thought about it. It didn't take her long to agree.

"Lowie, can you take this back to Yavin 4?" She asked the wookiee. Lowie barked an affirmative and followed Tahiri's directions to get to the ship. Daka said goodbye to James and Tahiri. Then she followed Lowie.

"They came with me. So they'll go back to Kashyyk on the ship before going to Coruscant. I know Lowie wants to visit Jacen and Jaina. It's been a while." James explained as they made their way to his ship. Tahiri didn't bother to tell James that Jacen was dead. Lowie probably already knew and neglected to mention it to James. When they approached the ship, Tahiri could not hold back her shock. It was huge. Even that was an understatement. The ship was about the size of a small carrier, with its many windows and weaponry. Its ramp was at least three times the size of Tahiri's ship. The metal was somewhat battered but on the side was a polished name in bold green letters: _Madeline_. James followed her eyes to the name. "Madeline was my sister. She died with my parents." He said suddenly, then the words caught in his throat and then he hurried up the ramp without another word.

Gi-Nego held Tahiri back as she made a move to follow him.

"He will come around. What he just said is very personal. Perhaps unintentional. But it will take him time to recover." Gi Nego nodded to Tahiri and gestured for them to go up the ramp.

When they got inside, Tahiri had to take a moment to get over the shock of how large the ship was. There was many hallways and cockpit thrice the size of the one on her own ship. A small kitchen was on board, and half a dozen doors where she guessed bedrooms where. Down the first hallway was an open door. She walked down it and found the medical center.

She entered and saw that Anakin was already in a bacta tank. At that same moment James was leaving, and he bumped into her and then apologized before going down to the cockpit to sit down. He plugged in the coordinates and continued getting ready for takeoff. Tahiri thought it best to follow Gi-Nego's advice and leave him alone.

She sat down on the chair near Anakin's bacta tank. Gi-Nego entered. "This could be a while. I do not know much about bacta but I think with his injuries, it could be all night. You'd best get to bed. I will check on him." He noticed her leg. "Let me put a bacta patch on that."

She let him place the patch on and bandage the leg. After helping her to one of the many bedrooms on board, he bid her goodnight. Tahiri pulled of her coat and flopped onto the bed, and pulled the covers back. She climbed under the layers of sheets and the blanket and then as soon as she had them pulled over her, she was fast asleep.

Leia stood tentatively off to the side, pacing to ward off the anxiety that she'd been feeling ever since she'd heard the news of Jaina's comatose state.

"Mrs. Solo?" The doctor asked as she came up to Leia, who nodded. "I'm doctor Tyrak."

"If I might have a word with you in private," The doctor said, jerking her head towards one of the offices. Leia followed the doctor into the small office, and Tyrak closed the door behind her. The Twilek turned her head to focus on Leia with a sharp seriousness that Leia took to mean their conversation wasn't to be a pleasant one.

"As I'm sure you're already aware," Tyrak said slowly, "Jaina is in a post traumatic coma caused by events rather than physical strain." Tyrak leafed through her files then regarded Leia carefully. Tyrak intertwined her fingers together on the desk. "I'm afraid there isn't much we can do to revive her. We've tried many methods but I want to inform you that there is a large chance that she might not wake up again." Leia stiffened then scowled, her voice losing its calm.

"What do you mean she can't wake up?" Leia demanded frostily.

"Not can't," Tyrak corrected, "Won't. It's possible that due to the amount of suffering she has endured that she doesn't want to live anymore. It sometimes happens when too many deaths occur within a short period of time. Or when the trauma or stress is so much that the person just gives up living and passes into a comatose state."

Leia sat back, her face pale. Had Jaina really reached the point where she didn't want to live anymore? Was Jaina truly not able to move on past Jacen and Zekk's deaths? Leia dreaded losing another child. Right now Jaina's life depended on the revival of something that could never be returned.

"I'm truly sorry, Mrs. Solo, we're still trying," Tyrak said sympathetically. Leia glared at the doctor as Leia stood up and crossed to the door.

"Do or do not, there is no try," Leia stated then opened the door and slammed it shut in the same motion.

Kirk raised his head to glance backwards at the soldiers sitting in the troop carrier behind him. Kirk hefted the second lightsaber he'd had. The first was his own and he'd willingly given it to James, who was well on his way to becoming a Jedi. He absently rolled the metal cylinder around in his hands until the name etched into the side was visible: Nina.

Tahiri blinked the sleep from her eyes then quickly sat up. She had no idea what time of day it was or how long everyone else had been awake. Tahiri jumped up and rushed to the med-center. As she came in, Gi-Nego motioned for her to be quiet. Anakin was lying on the bed, his face cleaned and bandaged. Most of the bruises were gone and his nose was also healed, there was still a bandage on it, she guessed there was still a lot of healing Anakin had to do on his own. But he looked better and was resting peacefully enough.

Gi- Nego gestured for Tahiri to follow him and he closed the med-center door as they left.

"He was awake a short while ago, I did not wish to wake you though." Gi-Nego explained.

"Thanks. I needed to sleep." She hated to admit it, but there was no lying to a Jedi Master or any Jedi for that matter. Gi-Nego found James in the cafeteria where he was eating a simple breakfast of toast and eggs. He looked up as the other two entered.

"There's coffee over there if you want it, and I made a ton of eggs. You'll have to toast the bread though." He gestured to the counter behind him where a stove with a pan completely filled with yellow eggs sat. The Coffee maker was still steaming. Tahiri, not being a big coffee drinker, settled with a glass of water from the sink. She popped two pieces of the toast in the toaster and sat down to her eggs. Gi-Nego took the eggs and coffee, declining Tahiri's offer for making him toast.

"So, how's Anakin?" James asked to his companions in general, not making eye contact with either of them. Tahiri decided to leave his choice to sit away from them alone and replied. "I just checked on him, he's looking better. Mostly thanks to Master Gi-Nego."

"It is a Jedi's job to care for the sick and wounded. Or for anyone who cares or has sentimental feelings, they must care." The Master replied simply. Tahiri smiled.

"Still, I'm grateful to both of you for helping Anakin out, for helping both of us out." She paused glancing from one to the other. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." James said with his voice barely audible. Gi-Nego inclined his head in a very modest way, his version of a "it's my pleasure" or "it's nothing," gesture for ewoks, Tahiri interpreted. Aside from Tahiri's toast popping there was not much noise in the cafeteria after that. Soon after she finished, she left to go check on Anakin. Gi-Nego, upon sensing the approach of another party, looked around as Wyn walked in.

Wyn entered, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. She noticed James' expression, one of conflict and confusion, and came and sat across from him at the table.

"Something on your mind, James?" She asked casually. He kept his grey eyes on the table, not wanting her to see that he was feeling insecure. Gi-Nego, sensing that this was something personal, took his leave.

"If I said no, you wouldn't believe me, would you," He said. Wyn shook her head.

"Not a chance in the galaxy. You might as well tell me," She said, "What could it hurt?"

"Truthfully, it hurts enough already." James stated, his voice had a slight tremor to it. Wyn reached across the table and used her hands to steady James'.

"Tell me anyways." He raised his head and met her gaze for the first time. "It'll be between you and me."

"You're really naïve and childish," James stated, giving her a strange look. Wyn shrugged.

"So sue me, we're all a little off at some point." Wyn regarded James for a moment. "What are you so afraid of?"

He pushed the lump that was forming in his throat down and didn't respond. Instead he slumped over and gripped his knees.

"James?" She questioned.

"I don't hate them."

Wyn blinked in confusion, "Who?"

"I don't hate my parents. I…" He shifted, "I convinced myself that I did. I wanted a reason to forget them. So I told myself that they weren't close to me… that I didn't get along with them." He laughed hollowly. "My family isn't even related to me by blood and they're the reason I made it through all the hard times. I should have just forgotten them."

Wyn's hand gripped his arms as they held his head. "No, you shouldn't have. Your sister, you named the ship after her, right?"

James nodded. "I built the ship for her. She loved ships since she was little. I thought it'd be nice for me surprise her by showing her the ship when it was done." He shook his head. "I finished the ship and hid it to surprise her, and then the Yuuzhan Vong killed her." He smiled wryly, "Ironic."

Wyn's insides tightened at the numbed expression James had on his face. She'd made him remember something that had been hurting him for a long time and that he'd buried for his own protection and sanity. James sunk his head into his arms on the table. He started slightly as two arms wrapped themselves around him. He found warmth in the embrace, a tenderness he didn't expect to get from anyone for the rest of his life. It felt strange and for a moment James considered pushing Wyn away. She didn't need to be here, comforting him, and she didn't need to waste her time on a worthless clone.

"James," Wyn said as though sensing his thoughts, "You deserve a better life than you've had."

He opened his mouth to say something then shut it again. There was truth in her voice, the force told him at least that much. Maybe Kirk was right about James becoming a Jedi. There was room for growth in the job of being a Jedi. Of changing who he was. James felt himself resign a little. _I'm sorry, Maddie, forgive me. _

When Tahiri came in, holding a plate of food and some water on a tray, she saw Anakin was already awake.

"Thank the stars, you're awake." She said, placing the food on the table next to his bed. She sat down in the chair next to the table. "I brought you some breakfast."

Anakin smiled, "Thanks." He pushed himself into an upright position and reached over to take the tray from Tahiri. He sat eating in silence for a while before turning to face Tahiri.

"What's wrong?" He asked, not without noticing how much of a routine question it was becoming.

She shook her head. Anakin continued eating then looked up at the ceiling. "I've always wondered what the sky looks like from a planet's point of view. Or a ship's. If a ship or planet had a mind, what would they think of the stars or space," He shrugged. "I'll never know because a planet or ship would never tell me." He glanced back at Tahiri.

"Is this your way of telling me to just spill whatever's on my mind?" She asked with a wry smile.

"Did it work?" He cocked his head to the side, an innocent smile on his face.

"Yeah, close enough." She laughed a little at his attempt to make her talk. It was a very "Anakin" thing to do, talking about what inanimate objects thought of the world living beings experienced every day.

Anakin didn't press her. But he didn't have to wait long because Tahiri's next words poured out. "I was scared. Of Uldir, of what Uldir had said to us in the alley. Of what he did to you. I couldn't get it out of my mind. I was just so scared I was angry and frustrated because I was so helpless."

"Tahiri." Anakin's gentle soothing voice reached out to her but she took little comfort in it, like when they were in the base on Endor.

"He was going to kill you, Anakin." Her voice broke for a moment before she continued, "If James hadn't shown up, he would have. Anakin, you knew he was going to do that. You knew why." She stared at him, her eyes small and frightened. "Please, just tell me why he did that."

"I can't." Anakin said.

"Stop trying to be so tough, okay? It kills me every time you do that." She snapped. Anakin's blue eyes had a stunned, wide look in them. "You knew why he wasn't going to kill me. But you knew from the beginning he was going to kill you. Why didn't you say anything?"

Anakin lowered his face until his eyes were in shadows. Tahiri pressed him. "Why, Anakin?"

Anakin's eyes suddenly came up, they were soft and so gentle, but were lost, and deeply troubled. "I thought he'd change his mind. I thought he'd just give up if I just said nothing. I didn't know how serious he was until near the end. Something told me he was holding back. I didn't want to admit he was gone, Tahiri. I kept denying it." He rubbed his forehead where it wasn't bandaged. The tense stress Anakin was feeling was felt directly by Tahiri through their bond. "I hadn't given up after you talked to me on the ship. I didn't think he was so far gone he'd forgotten how much he cared. I was right."

He snorted at himself. "But only half right." He sighed, "He only cared about you, Tahiri." He glanced sideways at her. Tahiri was silent.

Uldir only cared about her? There was no way that was possible. Uldir never would think so selfishly. He'd changed. "No, that can't be it. That's impossible."

"It's not. I felt it too." James stood in the doorway of the med-center, his hands in his pockets. He sighed. "He had so much emotion bottled up that he couldn't take it. He was overly jealous and he used his situation with the barabels as an excuse to get back Anakin."

"Get back?" She repeated incredulously. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Uldir couldn't do such a thing, he'd cared a lot about his friends. Even now that was true.

"Tahiri, I can't believe it either. But…" Anakin leveled his eyes with hers, "It's something we'll have to accept because if he had any humanity left in him, it's obviously gone."

"It's my fault." She pounded her leg and before she could do it again, Anakin caught her wrist.

"No, don't you dare blame yourself for what happened to Uldir. He was the one who lost control, not you." Anakin's voice now had a sharp edge to it and he continued to grip her arm.

"I should have been there." Tahiri bit back.

"You were." He reassured her.

"I wasn't."

"You were." He took her hand and held it in his. "In the only bond that mattered then. A bond that Uldir could never understand because he lost himself."

She nodded slowly and quivered a little. James decided to leave. He'd started to feel like a third wheel. On his way out, he leaned against the wall just outside the door. Had he been like that? Jealous? Even if it wasn't like that for James, he wouldn't ever let himself become so consumed that he'd hurt anyone. Saving Anakin had proven to him where he should stand in that situation. James started down the hall with his hands in his pocket. As long he was friends with both of them, it would stay that way, and James didn't plan to stop being either one of their friends any time soon.

Then he remembered Wyn's sudden act of hugging him and his cheeks began to redden in an uncharacteristic way. He quickly walked to the cockpit, trying to put the moment out of his mind.

Gi-Nego was punching in the coordinates, while standing up on the seat, his stubby arms too short to reach the switches. James came in and flipped them for the small Jedi Master.

"I thank you. My arms are quite useless."

"Not a problem, and they're just not meant for piloting ships. They're meant for using the force." He plugged the coordinates in and began to watch the stars zoom past them. The Master regarded James with interest.

"You speak truly, young one." Gi Nego said. "I sense you too have the force inside you. Yet, you do not wish to use it." It wasn't an accusation. The Master was merely curious and patiently listened for a response.

"I don't know if I can handle it." James admitted.

"Oh, why is that?" Gi-Nego furrowed his brow in concentration.

"There's so much I could do wrong." James let his hands drop to his sides. The Master closed his eyes and with the force pushed the auto-pilot button.

"Yet, so much you could simply find out from using it." The Master relaxed and a meditative expression crossed his face. "Many wrongly think of the force as a tool. It is not just a tool but a living essence. It gives you knowledge and understanding of everything around you. That understanding is what provides the balance. Tahiri and Anakin have spent their lives with that balance and seek to revive it. So they left behind their weapons, to remind themselves. A very hard choice to make for their young age."

He paused then turned to James with a sparkle in his small eyes.

"But you have another goal. You just have not figured it out because you see the force as burden, as something that will lead you astray because of the damage it can do. You must first see it as the part of life that is you. Then move on to expanding your horizon of understanding of what it can do, but not as a weapon or tool. Perhaps some may need it as a tool. You may or may not need it. It is your choice, young James. The force exists inside of you even if it is able to used for a Jedi's purposes or not."

James shrugged, "I just don't know if I need it like a Jedi does."

"Then find out how you do need it and use it. You will find that when you explore the force as it exists for you individually, there is nothing threatening about it. It just will present itself in a simple way." He smiled, "It just takes Jedi potential to see that simple form."

James considered this and then nodded slowly. "I guess I can try."

"Do." The Master corrected. James' face was full of shock. "I am familiar with Yoda as well." Gi-Nego hopped down from the chair and made his way down the hall, leaving James confused, amazed and thoughtful all at once.

Tahiri took the next shift of piloting while James practiced using the force in his room. She wondered what the Jedi Master had said to make someone as stubborn about not using the force as James, change his mind. She flipped the switches and watched the front viewport. They were a good ways from their next stop, which was a relief since they all had plenty to think about as well as recover from.

Tahiri knew that James and Anakin had been telling the truth about Uldir from the beginning. She too was in denial about it. About his feelings and how far he was willing to go for jealousy. But what hurt the most, was that he didn't trust his friends enough to tell them how he felt. "I'm sorry, Uldir." She said softly.

A clacking noise turned her attention around. Anakin was making his way into the cockpit, one crutch under his arm to help him walk on his injured leg. Tahiri nearly jumped up but Anakin waved for her to sit down.

"Should you be up and about?" She asked. Anakin shrugged.

"I'm feeling better." He dropped into the chair next to Tahiri's. "Where to?"

"Wherever the force tells us to go," She answered plainly and received a small grin from Anakin in response.

"And where is that?"

Tahiri paused and then shrugged, "It hasn't made up its mind yet."

Anakin smirked and laughed. "That's rude of it."

"True." Tahiri returned his smile. Then she looked into Anakin's eyes without saying anything.

"What?" Anakin questioned curiously, but gently.

"I was thinking about how Uldir never realized what he'd done was wrong." Anakin's eyes darkened for a moment but he withheld comment until Tahiri was finished. "I guess to him, the only thing that mattered was being with me, and he was willing to go to any lengths to achieve that." Tahiri frowned deeply, "I can't forgive him for that." The statement brought some alarm to Anakin's face.

"Tahiri," He began but she shook her head fervently.

"No, I'm serious, Anakin." She met his blue eyes. "I love you and if Uldir wants to hurt you, I don't think I can understand that, let alone forgive him for hating you."

Anakin's eyes softened, "That's still not what we should embrace. If we allow ourselves to only hate, and not to love at the same time, we're not giving balance to ourselves as well to the force." Anakin closed his eyes and spoke with a strong conviction and wistfulness that Tahiri had never heard from Anakin before, "The force is love and the force is hate. There's always an in between but it won't find you if you're allowing yourself to feel that balance."

"I think you just made the first step to becoming a Master," Tahiri said in a stunned voice. Anakin ran a furtive hand through his brown hair.

"Well, I hope the steps aren't all this philosophical, it hurts my brain." He made an exaggerated face of mock excruciation and Tahiri laughed. Anakin then leaned over and kissed her, and as he began to pull away, Tahiri reached behind his neck and pulled him closer. Anakin was surprised but didn't protest.

For one moment, there was only love between the two young Jedi and the force didn't interrupt.

**A/N- Well, I think we're going back to the usual length of chapters now. Thanks for reading! Please review! =)**


	18. Broken Promises

**Chapter 17**

**Broken Promises**

_A/N- Hey all! Sorry for the delay, FFN wouldn't let me load anything yesterday, I couldn't even log in, so this is a day later than it would have been._

_Anyways, here's another chappie, a lot shorter than the others, but I figured you'd all need a break from the longer ones. There's a lot of ground to cover still in this story but we'll get there eventually and I'm sure you'll all have fun too!! _

_As always, I appreciate any feedback (as long as it's not flaming) from you lovely readers!_

_I'm being a mega—dork and listening to the soundtrack from Star Craft while I write this. LOLZ. Go Glenn Stafford!! *Fan throws a brick at Don's head* Okay, done with my outbursts. _

**JediBettyBug- **I humbly apologize for my evilness. It is world renowned (at least in the FFN world) and it tends to make tragic things happen. But believe me when I say it'll get better (and more complicated too). Yay!!

**jason kent- **That's because Kitster rules!! =)

_A special thanks to both JediBettyBug, jason kent, and Jediluver033 for their encouraging comments! _

_Best,_

_Thanks,_

_-Don =)_

* * *

When had things become so complicated?

At one point there was a simple way of the galaxy, growing up under the care of parents, wondering if at some point or another Uncle Luke would be called upon to lead the Jedi against the latest threats to the New Republic's peace. It was hard, but it wasn't complicated. Fighting a simple evil or find a solution: that was the job of the Jedi. To be the protectors of the galaxy, the defenders of justice and the New Republic and to ensure that the innocent people of the galaxy were safe, that was the responsibility of the Jedi. It was straightforward, naïve even, but that was what Jaina and Jacen had been trained and taught to believe for most of their lives.

Or at least that was how it had been.

Since coming to the Academy run by their uncle, Jaina and Jacen were blissfully unaware that the galaxy and the New Republic were ripe with corruption. That corruption became apparent as soon as the Yuuzhan Vong attacked and turned everyone against one another. Fingers were pointed and the Jedi bore the brunt of the blame for the galaxy falling to its knees. It was practical that the blame fall to the protectors who were supposed to have known how to defend its citizens. But to defend them against themselves? Jaina knew that was as much unlikely as it was next to impossible.

So she'd been forced to watch the galaxy fall apart as her uncle and the other Jedi rushed around trying to pick up the stray pieces of the crumbling structure. All that remained were the few of the rebellion who remembered what it was like to struggle against the epitome of all evil, and to fail to stop it. Not before everyone was embittered beyond belief.

Those who weren't, well, they were dead. Or worse, tainted to the point where return to the unified New Republic was difficult.

Now Jaina knew that life as well as the way of the force wasn't as simple as knowing who was a Jedi and who was a Sith. Anakin was much of a proof of that as anything else. He was the balance between dark and light that no Jedi dared to cross. Anakin was that road that stretched between the far extremes of darkness and light, and he knew how to utilize both. A feat that not even Luke Skywalker would attempt.

The baton had been passed during the time that the Yuuzhan Vong had ravaged and then were defeated. To whom, Jaina guessed that it was any of the young Jedi leftover. Any Jedi not killed shortly after the war ended.

**Like Jacen.**

_Is it truly that bad to be dead? You're with the force._

**It hurts.**

_What doesn't?_

**A lot of things don't.**

_Not the things that are worth it._

**That's idealistic.**

_But true._

Jaina meditated over the silence that filled her mind. It was quiet and she couldn't sense anyone outside of herself. She wasn't even sure why.

_Do you want to face that Jacen's dead?_

**No, I don't. Jacen's not gone. He's out there.**

_Your brother is dead. Sooner or later you'll have to face it._

**What if I don't want to?**

The voice seemed to shrug. _You can stay here forever, alone, or die yourself._

**What's the point of going back? Jacen's gone, Zekk's gone, and the galaxy's about to destroy itself.**

_Giving up now would destroy all that Zekk and Jacen died for._

Again with the idealistic comments! Don't you get that I'm not listening to that sith spit any more?! Trying to find the light won't solve anything and foolishly believing that the Jedi can do everything is stupid too.

_Then what would you do? If the force isn't the answer, what is?_

**Life and living it.**

_The force is life and life is the force. There is no distinction between the two and the sooner the Jedi realize that the closer they will be to becoming one with the eternal force._

**Uncle Luke's probably closest to it.**

_No, he's not. He only embraces the light but not the dark. There is no life without the balance of light and dark. Therefore he cannot be one with the force. You and Anakin are closest._

**Us? Why us?**

_You know loss, you know anger, you know hatred, and you know pain in its worst form._

**What form?**

_Helplessness._

Jaina paused for a second, mulling over what the voice of reason was saying her head. She wondered if it was the force controlling her thoughts that brought about this discussion.

_To stop that which you thought you could. Many make the mistake of believing all that is loved, lasts forever in the galaxy. It isn't true. What lasts is the life force that they held, the presence they gave to others and the last memories they created. _

**That's sad, does it have to be that way?**

_You never asked that question as a child, did you?_

Jaina shook her head inside her mind, so it wasn't even a real gesture. **No, but force knows I wanted to. But logic told me that it did have to be that way and asking only made it hurt more.**

_**Ask, **_both voices said in one.

**Why do those we love have to die and leave us behind?**

_Because the life that comes after is loved as well._

Jaina couldn't stop her heart from breaking, her body was shattered the moment Jacen died, the moment he slipped from the force and became one with it she knew she'd never see him again.

"Jace, may the force be with you."

"Always."

Jaina tried to push the pain away but it kept coming, the reminder of the emptiness returned again and again to tell her that it'd never quite vanish entirely. She didn't want to face it. She couldn't and wouldn't.

**Why did you break your promise, Jace?**

There wasn't any answer. There wouldn't ever be.

Anakin shifted in his bed so that he was lying facing the ceiling. With the journey to their random destination in progress Anakin now had time to reflect on his brother's death more completely and to begin his acceptance.

Anakin didn't want to accept it. He kept reaching out into the force, half expecting to get a force message with Jacen laughing about the prank he'd pulled on everyone. Anakin half expected to hear Jacen say, "Hey, just kidding. I'm not dead. You can't kill a Solo that easily." Then he'd grin in the same fashion as their father and laugh.

But no such comfort came. No matter how many times Anakin reached out he couldn't feel Jacen. Anakin's hand rested on his forehead, blocking the light from the room out of his face. He pushed his hair back and then sighed. There was no point in trying to sleep, it wouldn't come. Anakin sat up and started out of his room for the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee.

To his surprise he found one other person there.

"Can't sleep either?" James said with a wry smile.

"No," Anakin replied simply and then made his way to the coffee maker. As he poured his cup he glanced over at James.

"What's keeping you up?"

"Matters of the heart, if you'd believe it," James gave Anakin a bemused smile. The other boy laughed.

"I do, actually." Anakin replied and held up the coffee to offer it to James, who nodded. Anakin poured a second cup and then made his way back to the table. He handed James one of the cups then slid onto the bench.

"What about you?"

"My brother's death," Anakin replied, drinking his coffee absentmindedly. James' eyes widened a little then softened.

"It hurts, doesn't it?"

Anakin nodded, sensing through the force that James wasn't trying to be obnoxious by stating the obvious. James was, if anything, sympathetic as well as empathetic.

"Yeah. So much I don't remember anything physical that's ever happened to me hurting this much." Anakin's mouth twitched, unable to even smile at this point.

James shrugged, "That's usually how it goes. Someone dies and you'd rather have all your bones broken than lose them."

Anakin's blue eyes met James' grey ones, "Your sister?"

"Yes. She was three years younger than I, Young and naïve. Pure as any child could have been and warm hearted." He took a long drink of his coffee.

"She sounds like a great person." Anakin observed.

"Was," James stated bluntly. "The past is best left where it is."

Anakin thought about that for a moment, finding bother reason as well as falseness to the statement. Although the past when dwelt on too often it could destroy a person who couldn't find it in themselves to move on or create a future for themselves, but on the other hand if the past was forgotten, it was hard to measure where to go from how far one had come.

"To get to the future, we must first accept the past." Anakin said, without realizing he was saying something until he had. James stared at Anakin.

"Easier said than done."

"Everything is," Anakin answered, his voice tired and heavy with his own pain. "I don't want to face that Jacen's dead any more than I would want to face that Uldir's not who he used to be." Anakin downed the rest of his caf then looked James in the eyes again. "But we have to start somewhere, no matter how long it takes us." He fashioned pained smirk, "Or how many cups of caf it takes."

James nodded and pushed his empty cup towards Anakin. "I'll take your word for that." Then he smiled.

Han downed his tenth or was it eleventh mug of beer? His liver was certainly not enjoying the experience either way. It'd been way too long since Han had drunk this heavily for him to be able to handle the amount of liquor he'd just chugged, and not slowly either.

As he stood over the garbage can outside the bar, the acid from pouring out his drinks still clinging to his lips, he glanced sideways as he noticed something odd out of the side of his vision. Now Han, being married to a force sensitive wife, having a Jedi for a brother in law, and having three, now two, force sensitive children, was not immune to oddities, but this was a little too much.

Han could have sworn he'd seen the blue shimmering form of… _no, it couldn't have been_. He shook his head fervently. _Could it? _Han wiped the rest of the sweat from his forehead and started down the alleyway. For the life of him he couldn't believe that he, Han Solo, was chasing a literal ghost down the alleyways of Coruscant.

He shifted slightly as the rain started pouring down on his head. Han pulled up the collar of his jacket and continued running through the streets, his graying hair plastered against his forehead. He let out a low groan, running had never been his thing, but it had been years since he'd actually run for cover or from anything. Now he wasn't doing either.

"So you noticed." Han nearly jumped out of his boots and whipped his head around to face what was the shimmering form of… who?

"Who are you?" Han questioned, only now realizing he hadn't seen who he'd hoped to see.

"Disappointed?" The ghost asked with a wry smile. "People usually are when force ghosts appear. We only stick around long enough for the receiving party to move forward in life, then we ghosts have to move on."

"So why are you seeking _me _out?" Han asked with his sharply confused tone.

"Because you're the one who knows how to complete the task I was assigned," The ghost replied simply.

"Me? Why not a Jedi?" He almost scoffed at his own suggestion. The ghost's mouth curled into an amused smile.

"Why ask a Jedi to do something you can do on your own, Han?" The ghost sounded bemused.

Han pushed his bangs from his face, and sighed, leaning against a nearby garbage can. "Okay, you got me. What can I do that no one else can?"

"Don't flatter yourself," The ghost answered tartly. Han's brow went up, now where had he heard that kind of retort before? "I never said you were the only one who could do it, I only said you could do it well enough without the help of anyone else."

Han folded his arms across his chest. "Huh. What is this task, then?"

"You want to do this?" The ghost asked, "You seem preoccupied with grief."

"Do they teach you manners in that otherworld place?" Han asked sardonically.

"No, we come with what we had from the past life."

"Which is nothing for you, eh?" Han lifted his brow once more. The ghost shrugged.

"I get by just fine without them."

Han laughed and grinned, "I like you, Kid." Han stated, now looking the ghost up and down, just realizing that this ghost was barely older than Jaina was. What had killed this person at such a young age? The man, or rather boy ghost had short hair that was cropped just above his ears and neatly arranged so that his bangs were even except for two stray bangs that kept falling into the boy's face. Because the boy was a shimmering blue Han couldn't tell what color the boy's hair was or what his exact complexion was, but Han did notice the sharpness of the eyes, and was once again reminded of someone, but Han couldn't place who.

"Well, before I agree," Han said, "Can I ask who you are- er- were?" He corrected, lowering his gaze a little. The ghost waved the mistake aside.

"A mistake easily made, Han," The ghost said, his voice almost sounding warm and comforting to Han's pained insides. "But I cannot tell you just yet who I am."

Han 's jaw dropped half an inch, "You've got to be kidding me," He frowned, "I'm not doing anything for an anonymous ghost who dragged me out of a bar to an abandoned alley to complete a task doing kriff knows what!" Han hadn't even realized that he was yelling until his voice echoed around the entire vicinity.

"You have every right to be angry. Hurt, too," The ghost said in a placating tone. "But I have my reasons as well as the force's for not telling you who I was." The ghost smiled, "Because you'll eventually figure it out without my help."

Han stared blankly at the ghost then blinked. "I will?"

The ghost gave Han an mock admonishing look and raised his eyebrows, "Come now, Han, you've got the best Jedi in your family."

"Yeah, except one's dead and the other's in a coma." Han said in a bitter tone. The ghost walked over to Han and moved to put a hand on the older man's shoulder but then dropped his arm.

"It's easy to forget you can't even feel anything once you're a force ghost," The boy smiled painfully, "But it's one last chance you get to fix the things you didn't while you were alive."

Han regarded the force ghost, "Something you didn't fix?"

"Something that has a lot to do with you as well, Han." The ghost answered soberly. Han shook his head.

"I don't understand how this could have anything to do with me, but how is this going to help me if at all?"

"Besides distract you from your pain?" The ghost questioned with a knowing look, "It will give comfort to the one person who needs it the most right now."

"Besides me?" Han said in a sarcastic tone then laughed. The ghost's mouth twitched.

"Even you," The ghost replied. "The pain lifted from one will lift the pain from others." The boy turned his head to look up at the tops of the buildings shining with their neon lights in the night sky. They were stark against the stars in their natural blaze.

"The false happiness is nothing to the pure joy of a life filled moment, " the boy stated. Han stared at the boy.

"Just who are you?"

"I was a Jedi." The boy replied.

"Padawan?" Han asked, confused.

"No, Master." The boy grinned at Han's disbelief.

"Then how did you die so young?" Han asked, then realizing he hadn't asked what he'd meant to or how he'd meant to.

"How or why? Or rather how did I become a Jedi Master at my age?" The boy smiled gently, "The same way your son will become a Jedi Master at his age."

"My son is dead."

"Wrong. Only Jacen is dead," The ghost reminded Han. "You should remember that you still have two living children even though one might have died before his time."

"You sound like you were a bundle trouble when you were alive," Han said gruffly, "With all your wisdom. Ever been called a smart-aleck?"

"Among other things," The boy replied with another pleasant smile. "Don't worry about the finer details. You'll know what to do when it's time. In the meantime, you have to go find a person by the name of Merlin Genrick."

"That's it?" Han said incredulously, "That's all I have to go by?"

"You'll figure it out, Han." The boy answered with a bold grin. Han almost stumbled into a nearby garbage can.

"I don't believe it." He stammered.

"You don't have to, because it's a fact." The boy then shimmered and was gone, leaving Han almost as confused and amazed as when he found out that the Dark Force not only existed but that he'd stumbled upon the ships when he and Lando were "forced" to be guests on it.

He had to go ask Luke. This was too strange to be true… but if it was… Han knew why he had to be the one to complete the task. For once, things made sense but in the strangest way.

Anakin grunted and mumbled curses under his breath. They'd made a short stop a nearby spaceport on a random planet not too far from Endor, though far enough away that if Uldir tried to find them he'd have a hard time of it. Not that Anakin was willing to let Uldir anywhere near the ship or its passengers. The ship was well equipped with a defense system, shields, and a hyper-jump capacity that rivaled the Falcon's. Or so James claimed. James had built the ship with his own two hands and since never touched it. Now that the ship was in constant use, James had taken it upon himself to monitor the condition of the ship and to upgrade it if necessary. Now was one of those times. Anakin pulled out from under the control board. At James' request, Anakin had decided to help the other boy rewire the ship to have a better control rate for fast escapes while under attack. Something Anakin himself would have readily agreed was necessary if it weren't for the fact that staying near Endor was a poor choice of location. Even at this distance.

"Find it?" James asked. Another string of curses followed the question. "I take that as a no."

"What the hell did you use to wire this?" Anakin asked, pulling out from under the control board and dodging the mess of wires to stand next to James.

"Whatever I had with me," James answered, his tone curling with the defensiveness he felt. "You got something to say, Solo, say it."

"Don't blow your gasket, James," Anakin replied, and wiped the sweat from his dirt clad face with a cloth. "I'm only asking because the wires aren't what I'm used to."

"Oh." James said, now realizing that it had in fact been a fairly practical question to ask. Anakin fashioned a warm grin.

"I'll figure it out," He then ducked under the control board again and after a few moments James heard a jovial whoop. "Got it!"

James shook his head in admiration. He had to admit, Anakin Solo was more talented with ships than anyone James had ever met, including himself. Someone else clearly shared that sentiment because James turned to look over as a voice said, "Your boyfriend is really something."

James' grey eyes focused on Wyn as she gazed intently at Tahiri who was looking with a knowing smile at Anakin.

"Yeah. He is," Tahiri's expression then turned concerned, "Anakin, if you reopen your wounds, I am not bandaging them again!"

_Wham._ Anakin's head hit the control board. "What? Come on, Tahiri!" He moaned.

"Sorry, Hero Boy, you break it, you fix it."

"Stingy." He said with a deep scowl. Tahiri arched her brow.

"Excuse me?"

"I think I'll let the old married couple argue, I'm going to the kitchen." Wyn said, and stepped back and away from where Anakin and Tahiri were staging their latest argument. James was already a few steps ahead of Wyn.

After a few minutes of walking side by side, Wyn looked at James. "You're abnormally quiet."

He turned his eyes to look at her for a second before refocusing his gaze on the hallway ahead, "I think I'm normally quiet."

Wyn shrugged, "I think you're holding back what you want to say."

He paused before replying, "Really? Why's that?"

"You're opinionated." Wyn said shortly. James' lips twitched and his expression became bemused.

"I am? Who isn't?"

"Which question do you want me to answer first?" Wyn asked, her step becoming a little more light and springy as they neared their destination.

James shrugged. "Whichever one you want, I don't care."

"Yes, you do." Wyn corrected and then stopped and turned so that she was blocking James' path. He watched her with an impassive expression.

"I don't get why you think you know everything about me." He stated.

"I don't think that," Wyn answered sharply, "But you don't seem to know bantha fodder about yourself."

He raised an eyebrow, "And you do?"

"Again, no," She said with a snort.

"You're not very feminine."

"You're not very nice." Wyn raised a challenging brow. "Just what are you trying to hide that I wouldn't be able to understand? I already know about your sister."

"I'll thank you to not," He gritted his teeth, "Talk about Madeline."

"Why?" Wyn asked, her eyes softening, "You already talked to me about it once."

"Then why should we talk about it again?"

"Because you're still being a prat about it," Wyn frowned, "What wouldn't I understand?"

"I'm not answering that."

"What wouldn't I understand?" She repeated.

"Don't ask me that!" James' voice was loud enough for the whole ship to hear.

"What wouldn't I understand?!" She stood stock still as James' eyes flared.

"You've never broken a promise, have you?"

"What do you-?"

"Have you?" He demanded. Wyn's voice caught in her throat and she shook her head. "When you break a promise to the person who needs you the most, you'll understand why I can't explain it to you."

"I don't get it, James," Wyn said in low tone, "What happened?"

"I ran."

Wyn blinked. "Huh?"

"I ran when I should have been standing next to my sister, protecting her from the Vong." He clenched his teeth. "I should have stayed. Like I promised I would. I told her every night that if anything threatened her, I'd be there. She was my little sister and I was the one who was afraid!" James' voice shook and his entire body vibrated with the level of frustration he felt. Wyn placed a hand on his arm.

"It's okay to be afraid." She said.

James eyes showed the disappointment and strain of many years, "No, it's not. I told you that you wouldn't understand." He turned the corner and slammed the door to his room behind him.

**A/N- Like it? Hate it? Feel like judging? Don't feel like anything? Want to throw your computer out the window but you're afraid it might break your neighbor's window? Feedback welcome! (NO FLAMES!!). Thanks! =)**


	19. The Wisdom of a Ghost

** Chapter 18**

**The Wisdom of a Ghost**

_A/N- Yo! Sorry for the delay in posting (again). I just got home on Friday (12/11) from college and I've been caught up in holiday stuff. You know how that goes: you eat, you talk, you spend time with family (some of them have known you since you were a baby but you have no idea who they are… yeah, that kind of thing). Reminds me of my Bat-Mitzvah, ha, ha. _

_Woot. Anyways, here's the chappie, and I'll be posting more often (when I'm not doing other things- my job term for college starts in early January, so, I might not post as often then- but I'll definitely do as much writing as possible. Yay!_

_Oh, and for all you Zekk fans, please be patient, I'm pacing myself for a reason. You're in for a surprise in this chapter- not related exactly to Zekk per-se but you'll see ;)._

_I'm also in the process of writing the next chapter for "Somewhere Out There," my Obi-Wan fan fic, if anyone's interested in reading that, please feel free to leave feedback as it's a different kind of story than the others I've written. _

_Enough of my babbling- please enjoy the chapter and remember that the green button loves you! _

_-Don =)_

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Luke said as he rubbed his temples as he stopped pacing to face Han, who was seated on the couch of the Skywalkers' apartment. "A force ghost came to you and told you to find someone you have no idea who to find?"

Han nodded and took a drink of the caf Luke had made. It wasn't the best, but it helped with the massive headache Han had. "That about sums it up."

Luke sighed. "Do you even know the ghost who visited you?"

"You're pretty calm about the whole ghost thing, Luke." Han observed. Luke shrugged.

"Well, I've had plenty of them come and talk to me. That's not even counting Obi-Wan." He flicked his blue eyes to the floor. "I get the feeling the force doesn't want me to get involved in this one, Han."

Han shook his head, "The ghost said I'd figure it out with the help of some of the Jedi I know, and I'm guessing you're one of them."

Luke's gaze came up abruptly. "What did you say the name of the ghost was that visited you?"

Han blinked, "I didn't. He just looked familiar, it took me a minute to realize who he was," Han paused, "It was Anakin."

**Are you going to stay like this forever?**

_Until Jacen and Zekk come back._

**I'll take that as a yes.**

_Why should it matter if I go back? Nobody cares._

**All living beings are foolish because they believe the galaxy has nothing to go with them, when in fact it has everything to do with them.**

_What the sith is that supposed to mean?_

**That you are more connected to the realm of the living than where you are now.**

_I'm not alive?_

**You are, but only just.**

_I guess I gave up. I didn't want to go on, I didn't want to face that when I went back Jacen wouldn't be there and Zekk wouldn't be there. _

**But others will be. Others who care.**

_I know. _

Jaina sighed deeply within herself. It was hard to accept that she was going have to go back sooner or later. Or she could die. Was life that worthless?

**Life and death are the force's alone to determine. But you live your life and choose the path where your life will start over when death begins.**

_A new life?_

**Yes.**

_What if I don't want to go there just yet?_

**You still have that choice, Jay.**

Jaina blinked and started at the shimmering blue figure sitting in the room across from her.

_Am I awake?_

**No. But you're close enough to the void that you can see me. **

The figure ran a hand through his wild hair. "You need to go back, Jaina."

"What about you, Jace?"

He smiled, "I'll be around for a little while longer. But my life's over."

Jaina scowled, "You make it sound so permanent. Aren't you the one who always tries to turn things around?"

He grinned. "True. But it is permanent." He sighed, "I blew it."

Jaina looked at her brother, who was now barely more than a shimmering imitation of his former self. It seemed a short time ago that they were both playing in the gardens of their home of Coruscant, or holding their newborn brother between them and marveling at the tiny toes and fingers.

Then they were at the academy, building their first lightsabers, and trying to find out what their strengths in the force were and finding out just what a force bond meant in both gaining it and losing it.

"Jacen, you're here, right? Why can't you stay?" Jaina said the desperation evident in her voice. Jacen moved over and placed a comforting hand on her head, smoothing the bangs out and then brushing them out of her face.

"Because you can't keep clinging to something that won't always be there." He answered gently. Tears started out of Jaina's eyes.

"What about Tenel Ka? Are you going to leave her too?" Jaina said bitterly then stopped as she saw and felt the hurt on Jacen's features.

"That's why I'm not leaving right away. There are still some things I have to do. But you have to move on, Jay."

"Why? Because I'm stronger?" Jaina felt the pain as she said that and briefly wondered if that was even true in the first place.

"No," He shook his head, "Because you have more to live for and more to build for the future. Life doesn't end just because someone dies."

"Oh yeah? Because it sure doesn't feel that way," Jaina said sardonically.

"Of course it doesn't right now." Jacen replied softly. "But it will."

"I can't forget you, Jace, I won't, it's not possible," Jaina's throat constricted, preventing the rest of the words from coming out.

"You don't have to. I told you the force would always be with me, and I wasn't lying." He placed a hand on Jaina's, and then shimmered brightly before disappearing. Jaina felt extreme pain in her chest and felt herself drifting even further away from consciousness.

Luke frowned, "Who?"

Han mirrored Luke's frown, "You don't have to look at me like I'm insane."

"As in Anakin Skywalker?" Luke questioned. Han shook his head.

"No, as in my only living son, Anakin." Han answered his brow furrowing. Luke didn't say anything for a minute.

"Are you sure? Anakin's not-"

"Dead? I know." Han said, his jaw tightening. He sighed, "Look, I'm just as confused as you are about this, Luke."

"I should hope so. That you think that a force ghost of your living son is wandering around should bother you. Even more than you are now."

Han turned his head, "Is that bad?"

Luke concentrated for a second then replied in a stern tone, "It could mean that Anakin is more connected with the force than he truly intends to be." Immediately Luke thought of what Mara had said about her conversation with Anakin in which he mentioned that the void gave him access to memories that weren't his own.

"What does that mean?" Han asked, "I don't get all this force stuff, Luke."

Luke shook his head, "Sorry, Han, it's complicated, I don't even understand it fully right now."

Han frowned, "So how is it that this force ghost is even here, if it is Anakin?"

Luke narrowed his eyes and cupped his chin in his hand, "I have a theory about that, but I could just be crazy."

Han made a face and replied sarcastically, "Come on, Luke, you, crazy?" he waved his hand.

"I can't tell if you were making fun of me or you're just having fun at my expense." Luke said with a deep set scowl.

"Both actually." Han said with a broad grin.

"I'm tempted to not tell you anything. I could let you do this on your own, you know." Luke said in a flat tone even though his words expressed the clear threat. Han's eyes went wide.

"Come on, Kid, I was joking."

"Jedi never joke." Luke countered.

"Jacen does-" Han began but then froze as his face contorted. Luke regarded Han for a moment before the other recovered. "What was your theory?"

Luke put aside his concern for Han's sudden change in subject and replied, "I think that the ghost you saw wasn't actually dead."

Han blinked, "Come again?"

"The Anakin you saw isn't dead." Luke continued calmly, "At least not in our galaxy."

Han held up a hand, "So wait, you're telling me that the ghost I saw is from some other dimension or something like that?"

Luke nodded. "That was my theory."

"I take back what I said before, you _are_ crazy." Han said with a shake of his head. Luke appeared to not take offense because he was busy pacing back and forth.

"Han," Luke said, "Who did the ghost say to find again?"

Han looked over, "A man named Merlin Genrick. I have no idea who he is though."

Luke smiled, "Not in this life you don't."

Han's face fell, "I have a bad feeling about this."

The soldier stepped up and clacked his heels together as he stood to attention. "Master Dekim, your presence is requested on the bridge." The soldier waited as Kirk turned around slowly, his brow creased with the tension he felt coming from almost everyone on board the massive Chiss battleship, _Aglaris. _

"I'll be there," Kirk answered and the soldier saluted stiffly before departing. Kirk knew that he was receiving more than enough respect aboard the ship than was normal, even for Kirk being a close friend of Soontir, this was abnormal treatment. Soontir obviously expected Kirk to follow through with his promise. The one that Kirk felt he regretted, the first promise he'd ever regretted making.

Kirk turned on his heel and exited his quarters and headed down the long hallway towards the bridge. As he walked he passed many officers who stopped to salute Kirk. Some were old friends of Kirk's from his days as a thief. They were now respectable officers and Kirk was a respectable Jedi Master. Both parties recognized and acknowledged this fact. Though Kirk was more reluctant to accept the respect because he knew it wasn't deserved. He had a long history of events that were sure to make even the most war hardened soldier or officer cringe. Kirk had done some things he'd continue to keep to himself. To put it simply, Kirk knew deep down that his hands were stained beyond repair. Nothing could wash his hands of the ten years he spent in darkness.

The doors to the bridge whizzed open and Kirk stepped down the metal walkway tentatively before stopping just behind Soontir, whose gaze was decidedly fixated on the stars.

"You wanted to talk, Soontir?" Kirk said, knowing full well that he was ignoring the protocol for the addressing of the Baron on a military mission. Soontir didn't turn around; a signal that he wasn't exactly keeping track of how disrespectful Kirk was being in front of the other officers, at least by Chiss standards Kirk was being extremely informal.

"You know full well what I'm going to ask you to do, Master Dekim." Soontir said calmly and in a monotone voice. Though no one else noticed it or felt it, Kirk felt through the force and noticed in the slight tonal shifts in Soontir's voice that the Baron was deeply hurt by what he was asking Kirk to do.

"I do, Soontir," Kirk answered, sending a comforting wave through the force to his old friend. Soontir smiled, though it was to the stars alone, Kirk felt the thanks through the force. "You don't wish to come with me?"

Soontir sighed, "I'm not as young as I used to be, Kirk," He said, dropping the formalities for a moment. "And I'm asking you this as a last favor between friends."

Kirk turned his head to the side, taking in the gazes of all the officers who were watching out of the corners of their eyes. Then he returned his gaze to Soontir. "I know this isn't any consolation, but I regret doing this as much as you do."

"I appreciate that, Kirk," Soontir said stiffly, "But you and I both know that neither of us is free of the blood spilled."

Kirk's lip twitched and shifted into a wry smile, "I might be able to match your record, Soontir." He sighed, "I'll leave right away." _Let's hope I don't have to fight this one out, _Kirk thought to himself, _the last time I had to fight in a situation like this…_

"You are dismissed, then. You may depart at your own leisure, Master Dekim." Soontir then kept his gaze on the stars and Kirk could tell that somewhere in the hardened core of the Chiss Baron's chest, a heart was breaking. One that had never been shattered, no matter the brutality of the battle or the harshness of the loss that had occurred, nothing had ever broken the core of Soontir Fel. Now something would and Kirk would be the one to break it.

"Anakin, get up here!"

James' voice startled Anakin from his brief slumber and into a run for the cockpit. "What's going on?" He asked, even though his eyes had already registered that their pathway out of the refueling port had been blocked by a dozen odd looking ships floating just above the port's edge, the oddest of which was shaped like a wolf's head.

"I'm getting a really bad feeling here." James expressed.

"You and me both," Anakin said with a deep scowl as he sat down in the gunner's seat and put on the headset. "Let's get ready to hyper-jump the minute we find an opening."

"And if they don't give us one?" James asked, albeit reluctantly. Anakin's eyes narrowed in determination.

"We make one."

James sighed, "I had a feeling you were going to say that."

"Then we're on the same page," Anakin added with a quick smile in James' direction.

"You ever been told that you're really reckless?" James asked rhetorically.

Anakin gave him a look that said, 'Plenty of times.' James shrugged before he set to setting up the ship for hyper-jump. During that time, Tahiri and Wyn entered the cockpit, shortly followed by Gi-Nego.

"Unknown vessel," A cold filtered voice came onto the com-speaker of James' ship. "You are to surrender and prepare to be boarded."

"Under whose authority?" James demanded evenly.

"It does not matter whose authority if your only wish is to stay alive," The voice replied in the same unfeeling tone.

"He's got a point," Anakin said with a small look at James. He grunted and mumbled something under his breath.

"If you don't watch it, you'll be blasted into stardust," James said to the voice on the other end. There was a brief pause.

"If you're suggesting that you can take on all of the ships here, I would not recommend that course of action."

"Well," James said with a grimace, "You can take your recommendation and shove it up your-" He didn't get to finish his own sentence because Anakin had already opened fire on the front-most fighter. It went up in a blaze of flames and sank to the ground below. Another pulled forward to take its place. Anakin raised an eyebrow.

"So that's how we're going to play it, huh?" He grinned. "Fine by me." Anakin then reached out into the force to sense the movements of the pilots. Though he couldn't sense one of them fully, Anakin was able to reach into the minds of most of them. _Okay, this is going against what Aunt Mara told me, but this is an emergency._

Anakin then began to stretch out his mind and reach into those of the other pilots. With the force behind him, Anakin shoved hard on the barriers of the enemy pilots' minds and they all _What is with this Jedi Master, he's got the whole galaxy on his tail. _Anakin then shoved again, to throw the other pilots off balance before he fired at their ships, blowing up five of the ten in quick succession.

"Mind letting us in on how the fuck you pulled that stunt off, Solo?" James said with a deep scowl. Anakin released his mind and then began to breathe heavily. He then narrowed his eyes as the Wolf shaped ship moved to the front and its metallic eyes glared at Anakin, who returned the glare. He shifted slightly as a sudden probe from the force made him unbuckle his crash webbing.

"Anakin?" Came Tahiri's voice. He placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Start pulling out, I'm going to distract them," He stated. Tahiri's hand caught on his arm.

"Are you insane? This isn't a game, Anakin, they'll blast us out of the sky," She inhaled sharply as Anakin gently pried his arm free.

"I won't let them. Get the ship ready." He commanded and then was gone down the hallway and stepped off the ramp to head straight to the docking bay where he began talking to one of the mechanics about borrowing a spare fighter. The mechanic looked reluctant then nodded slowly and led Anakin away. Soon enough the roar of engines came from the docking bay as an X-Wing shot out of the port.

_Anakin, don't do anything stupid, _Tahiri sent through their bond. She felt him smile.

_Don't worry, I'm only trying to buy us some time, then I'll meet up with yo_u guys.

_How are you planning to return the ship? _

There was a pause, apparently Anakin's thoughts hadn't gone that far. _I don't think the guy in the docking bay expected to get this back. But I'll return the favor sometime later._

_You better hope he doesn't count this against you, _Tahiri said with a sardonic tone.

He chuckled. _Focus on getting out of here first, okay? _

_Fine, but don't blame me if you get your ass burned. _

Anakin blinked at that comment. _What, are you losing faith in me?_

_No, I can't lose something I never had._

_I'm hurt, that was cold. _

_Then stop being a complete idiot, Hero Boy. _

_I think the galaxy will destroy itself first before that happens, _Anakin thought back. He could feel Tahiri's annoyance at that statement then her sigh.

_I'll settle for you coming back in one piece then._

_Will do, _Anakin said and saluted her, and then sent comfort to her through the force. He then refocused his attention to the wolf ship in front of him. He felt something strange.

"Anakin Solo…." The voice came over Anakin's com-channel. "A surprise to see you here of all places," A pause followed and Anakin could almost feel the person smiling, "Nevertheless a pleasant one."

"Who are you?" Anakin demanded.

"I am a bounty hunter known as Xillanor. I have also met your brother, Jacen. It seems you are bolder than he."

Anakin's insides twisted at the mention of Jacen but he suppressed the urge to blast this person from existence. "My brother's dead, and I'm getting the feeling you had something to do with it." Anakin's force senses almost confirmed the impulsive statement as he said it.

"You're not wrong, but you're not right either." Xillanor answered plainly. Anakin could sense no anger, or any distinct emotions for that matter from the other person, which struck Anakin as odd since it probably meant that the other was hiding his force presence and hiding it well.

"What the kriff does that mean?" Anakin demanded. Xillanor's chuckle send shivers down Anakin's spine. Shivers of anger and irritation.

_Anakin, what's going on? _Tahiri's voice broke Anakin's brief moment of anger.

_Nothing. _

_Then get your butt over here, we're almost completely clear. _

_Don't wait for me, Tahiri. I'll be there when I'm done with the leader._

There was a pause. _I just hope you know what you're doing._

Me? Never.

_Funny, Hero Boy. Now start moving._

_I will, I need to find something out first. _Anakin broke contact with Tahiri and focused his attention on the wolf shaped ship.

"Do you think I killed your brother?" Xillanor asked pleasantly. This only served to make Anakin's hands shake and his left hand twitched as it lightly touched the red trigger on his control stick.

"I know you did," Anakin stated.

"The force never lies," Xillanor answered plainly, "But living beings do. It's their nature," Xillanor smiled to himself within his own cockpit. "I, much like you, Anakin, am part of the big puzzle that is forming. Your brother's death was the beginning of that, the first piece. I trust you understand the meaning of the phrase 'sacrifices must be made'?"

Anakin's hand lost its control and lunged forward to squeeze the red button. In seconds the side of Xillanor's ship was smoking and flames leapt into the air. Anakin was breathing heavily and had regained control over his body.

"I hope I have not made a bad impression on you, Anakin, for it is not I who will be your enemy in the end," Xillanor stated, and then his ship moved slightly and then shot into hyperspace along with the other fighters. Anakin continued to stare at the sky long after their departure. His blue eyes narrowed in pained concentration. Every part of him wanted to tear Xillanor apart and he had a feeling it wasn't going to get any better.

Luke sat back. After what Han had told Luke, he had taken it upon himself to conduct research. It didn't seem likely, with the thought Luke had given to his previous theory, that the ghost Han had seen was Anakin, dimension hopping or not. Luke would be willing to believe that to be true if it made sense, but it didn't. He rubbed his head. It was hard getting to sleep without Mara there, so most nights Luke didn't get much sleep. Even if she was, Luke doubted he'd catch much anyways. Her presence was a subtle reminder that their second son was missing and likely going to die at the hands of whoever the kidnappers were.

A sigh escaped his lips as he rifled through yet another file on the holo-database that Luke had in the apartment. So far he'd found nothing that would clue him in on who the ghost was, if the ghost had in fact visited Han. Luke then decided to change his tact. He typed in the name of the person Han had been told to find: Merlin Genrick.

Two files came up. Luke opened the first one to see a brief record of a man whose name was "Raynor Tekk," from ten years ago. The record said:

_Raynor Beylord Tekk, the only known member of the cloning facilities from the early days of the empire, Raynor Tekk invented the cloning machine in Chiss territory and kept it a secret from the Republic for many years before the Republic conducted a search of the facilities and dismantled it. _

_Tekk's blueprint design however, was never recovered and the New Republic placed a ban on visiting the cloning facilities by anyone outside of the Chiss government. _

_Today the records are held by the only known living clone from the original facility on Kamino, Merlin Genrick, whose whereabouts are kept confidential for the purposes of maintaining the prevention of further cloning methods within the New Republic and within Chiss territory._

Luke stared thoughtfully at the text on the screen. Now it seemed more likely that the ghost Han had seen was someone from the early years of the Old Republic. Someone who has been staying with the force in order to deliver a message, a message that only someone related to the ghost could understand.

Luke went back to the listing of the two files and then opened the second one. It was dated a few years after the first file. A short paragraph sat on the screen:

_Merlin Genrick was arrested by the New Republic for the discovered killing of a Jedi from the days of the Old Republic. Genrick was discovered to have unusual genes that allowed him to have a longer lifespan, though he neglected to comment on any of the cloning methods used to make this possible._

_The Jedi killed was not named but he was said to have been a recently dubbed master at a young age that was also withheld. Genrick's reasons for the killing were also not disclosed and he currently remains imprisoned until the information is revealed. _

Luke once again sat back, but this time with a stunned look on his face. The Jedi that Genrick killed was Han's ghost.

**A/N- Sorry for the delay in posting and thanks for reading! Please review if you have the time! =)**


	20. A Whisper In Time

**Chapter 19**

** A Whisper in Time**

_A/N- Ahhhh, I'm sorry!!! It took me so much longer to get this chapter up, what with the holiday chaos and what not. Before I knew it, the last post had been more than a week ago. GAGHHHHHH!!! _

_*Smacks self for overreaction* Okay, I'm good._

_Thanks to Bad Religion for the title. _

_Ahem, I humbly apologize for the delay. I've been extremely distracted and I haven't gotten much writing in (and I admit, my new collection of NCIS DVDs have kept me busy- I got full seasons of the series from my younger brother, so you can guess how I got distracted for so long). I'll get more posts up from now on. If I don't, I will understand if you want to yell at me through PMs. _

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Reviews are give me writing power, yaahhhhh!!! _

_Oh, and the last chapter will be explained in more detail (I know it was pretty confusing). It's directly linked to my other story "Somewhere Out There" which will help to explain more of the details than this story will alone- that's just something to keep in mind. _

_You know it's actually brain stimulating to listen to epic instrumental music while writing fan fiction. I'm listening to a mix I made out of all my "epic" sounding music. It's giving me writing power… whatever that will bring… I have no idea. _

_As always, it is a pleasure to write for you all and I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. _

_Cheers,_

_-Don =)_

* * *

Anakin leaned back in the seat of the X-Wing. Because of the bad feeling he had, he'd told Tahiri where to meet him in order for them to not be tailed. He'd flown in the complete opposite direction of the meet up point in hopes of getting the enemy off the trail of Tahiri and the others.

At the very least he hoped to lose the one called Xillanor. Anakin knew that Xillanor killed Jacen, the force was sure of it and Anakin's own instincts were determined to find the murderer and throttle him. Anakin wasn't even sure where the feelings of hatred were coming from; all he knew was that they were strong enough to pose a problem when dealing calmly with a situation that could end up killing more than just Anakin himself.

He closed his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. There was definitely something odd about Xillanor. Something was off about the way the strange man's force presence radiated through the force. What, though, Anakin again wasn't entirely sure. Unanswered questions could be the difference between life and death, Anakin had learned and he was decidedly annoyed that he couldn't answer any questions about Xillanor.

Suddenly Anakin's com crackled with a pleasant upbeat and southern reaches of the Outer Rim accented voice, "You look like you need a lift."

Anakin opened his eyes to flick the switch on his com channel with the force, "Depends who's offering."

"Heh, you must be one of those Jedi, you're not very trusting," The man's laugh threw Anakin's mind off its current course for a second. It had a charming and rough sound to it. "No offense, Kid."

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "How do you know I'm not some older pilot waiting to spring a trap?" This guy either saw Anakin at the docking bay or he himself was a Jedi.

"Honestly, I don't have the foggiest who the kriff you are or where you're from. I'm just tough enough to hold my own against anyone."

Anakin's grin reached the edges of his face, "Even a Jedi?"

"I've dealt with plenty of 'em. You need help or what?" The voice turned professional. Whoever the other party was, he was done beating around the bush. Anakin shifted so he was sitting upright.

"I'm actually in need of some coverage," Anakin said tentatively, now reaching out with the force to get a feel for the other man. He seemed clean, but Anakin didn't plan to take a leap of faith unless he was sure this person wasn't working for Xillanor.

"You mean an escort for protection?" The man asked in a thoughtful tone. "I can do that."

Anakin paused, "Right. I just have one more question."

The man chuckled, "Fire away, Sparky."

"Who are you and who are you offering help on behalf of?" Anakin asked, now completely immersed in the force so that he could detect even the slightest lie.

"Captain Adrock Reginald Antilles at your service," The man answered formally. It was clear that the man wasn't lying and not only that he was a seasoned fighter from what Anakin could tell by the sound of his voice and the feel of Adrock's force presence. _At least I won't have to mind tap him,_ Anakin thought with some relief.

"And to whom am I directing my services on this lovely day?" The man asked good humouredly. Anakin felt as though they'd just done the ship equivalent of a handshake through their comlinks.

Anakin smiled, "Anakin Solo, Jedi Knight."

"You were a kid, then." Adrock said with another laugh. "You're just as suave as your father, Kiddo."

"I could say the same about you, Captain," Anakin said, "What's Wedge doing letting his only son wander around space?"

The man paused, "So you know my father personally, huh?" There was a pregnant moment of silence before Adrock continued. "Let's just say that I haven't exactly been home in a while."

Anakin mulled over the comment. _We all have skeletons in our closets. _Out loud Anakin replied, "I won't ask you anything if you don't ask me anything."

"Deal, Kid." Adrock said, with a curt nod. The two ships then shot off into a hyperjump.

Tahiri gritted her teeth as she paced the cockpit of their ship. Because of the risk in their current situation, she wasn't able to contact Anakin through their force bond. That only served to put Tahiri more on edge than she already was. All she would be able to feel was the occasional feeling from Anakin and even his physical condition was somewhat concealed for security purposes.

"Anakin will be fine, Tahiri," James said in his usual flat tone. Though James would never admit it out loud, he too was feeling anxiety over the situation.

"Perhaps he is taking extra precautions," Gi-Nego offered. Tahiri turned to the old Jedi Master.

"Anakin's over an hour late, what precautions is he taking?" She said testily. James rose from his chair and crossed to the control board.

"Anything to make sure this Xillanor guy doesn't find us. He's probably worried that Xillanor is tracking him and wants to make sure Xillanor doesn't find us at the least."

Tahiri processed James' words. That did seem like something Anakin would do: not worry about himself and take the measures to protect his companions. Even so, it did seem odd that Anakin wasn't at the rendezvous point yet.

"Well, if he got attacked, wouldn't he warn us to get out of here?" Wyn asked.

"That's true. Anakin would make sure we got a warning before he goes off to kick the stardust out of whomever he's fighting." James assented.

Tahiri stopped pacing for a moment. "I would have felt it if Anakin had gotten into a fight. The force reflects the changes in emotion during a battle. Anakin's not the most centered person during a fight. He's not." Tahiri sighed and took a seat. Wyn glanced at her.

"Just what did you guys do to make this Xillanor chase after you?" Wyn asked.

"We didn't do anything. But I get the feeling Anakin knows more about this than I do." Tahiri said.

"You better hope whatever it is that he knows," James said in a low voice, "Won't get us killed."

Han scratched his head. "I don't get it. Who the heck is this Merlin Genrick and what does he have to do with me?"

Luke shrugged, "All I know is that whoever this murdered Jedi is, he is your ghost, Han." Luke replied. He sighed. "Don't get me wrong, Han, I'm just as confused about this as you are."

"You bet your blasters I'm confused. If this ghost is this murdered Jedi from who knows how long ago, why doesn't he go to you or some other Jedi to solve this murder mystery?"

Luke rubbed the back of his head, throwing the hairs into disarray. "I'm not too sure about that part yet."

Han grunted in frustration and glared at the ground before turning back to Luke, "Any hunches?"

"One," Luke said meditatively, then shook his head.

Han frowned, "Well, what is it?"

"It could be that this ghost is a direct relative of yours, Han." Luke said. Han snorted then burst out laughing.

"Luke, you and I both know that there's not an ounce of Jedi in me. There haven't been any Jedi in my entire family for generations." Han replied with another chuckle. Luke sighed and sat down on the Solo family's couch. Ben, and his whole seven years, walked through the room. He had the same blue eyes as his father but his blonde hair had red brown highlights like his mother. After the attacks at the Academy during the Yuuzhan Vong War, Luke pulled Ben out of the classes and decided to home school him. The younger Skywalker was a quick study and was showing strong signs of being attached to the smaller parts of life. He could sense even the slightest motion in the force. His talents for being aware of the small life presences and changes in the force impressed even the most prestigious Jedi Masters that Luke knew.

Luke smiled, with the force, there were no accidents. "Nothing is impossible." Luke said with a broad smile. He clapped Han on the shoulder and then went to attend to Ben. Han sat on the couch, confusion etched onto his features.

"You sure this is the right place, Kid?" Adrock asked as they arrived at the rendezvous point. "There's nothing here but rubble and shards."

Anakin's brow creased, "That's the point. This is where Alderaan once was."

"Alderaan? The planet the Empire blasted to smithereens for the sake of showing off?" Adrock's own sad realization was hidden beneath the man's clear disgust at the act that provided a small cover for Anakin and his one-time companion.

"Yeah, that's the one." Anakin replied sullenly. He then flicked his eyes to his radar as it beeped. His senses flared with a sharp warning and Anakin reacted by barrel rolling aside as a laser beam shot inches from where his ship was a fraction of a second before.

"Get your weapons ready, Kid, this looks like trouble." Adrock said, and his own ship brandished its weapons. Anakin flicked his eyes to the side as a fleet of ship appeared, this time there were at least two hundred fighters of an unidentifiable class. Then there was the wolf shaped ship.

"We meet again, Young Solo." Xillanor's cool voice came over the com channel.

"Friend of yours?" Adrock asked with an edge in his voice. Anakin shook his head.

"Nope."

"Good, then no worries about blasting him to bits, right?" Adrock asked.

"I'd like to ask him some questions, but it doesn't seem like that's a possibility." Anakin answered with slight annoyance.

"Brace yourself, Kid, we're not getting out of this without a fight," Adrock then powered his ship forward and then shot straight at the enemy fighters. Anakin took that as the cue to start attacking. He paused a second to reach out to Tahiri in the force, _Tahiri, get out of there, fast. _Anakin then shot after Adrock and dodged and weaved around the enemy fighters, shooting their engines in quick succession. A blast struck his left wing but it wasn't enough for Anakin to stop and worry about it. Not that he had the time to anyways.

At that moment more fighters pulled out of hyperspace and closed in behind Anakin. Adrock fired and two of them burst into flames. "Watch it, Kid! They're not playing around here."

Anakin narrowed his eyes and then geared his X-Wing into action, aiming straight for the wolf ship in the back of the fighter formation. He was going to get his answers.

Kirk shifted slightly as he pulled his ship out of the jump and searched the force for any enemies, finding none, he focused his attention on the strange planet ahead of him. The coordinates that Soontir had given Kirk to track Cem were to a planet that wasn't even on the standard maps, so it didn't even have a name. Soontir said it was where Cem was tracked to, so Kirk had to trust Soontir's judgment.

He reached out into the force, even though Kirk didn't know Cem, he knew Cem's force presence. Each force presence was unique: it had a code like DNA, one that only strong force users could sense even if they weren't family.

As someone who had never had too many close connections, Kirk was more aware of outside presences in the force. Though Kirk doubted that Soontir knew that when he'd asked Kirk to find Cem and do whatever was necessary. Kirk had avoided people on purpose but now everything seemed to be following Kirk wherever he went. For whatever reason it had, the force was now bringing Kirk back to the chaotic galaxy and life he'd left behind for ten years.

Kirk knew that Cem was headstrong and thus unlikely to surrender without one of them dying in the process. Kirk wasn't much relishing the idea of coming back to Soontir with the news that Cem was dead because Kirk couldn't capture him for a trial. But then again, Soontir wasn't entirely interested in trying to capture Cem alive. Or at least the Baron side of him wasn't. Kirk glanced up before he switched on his landing monitor. He focused on the planet looming in front of him. It was a cream color on the outside but the inside was a complete mystery.

"Unidentified Craft," The com channel immediately connected and Kirk's hand went to the weapons buttons. "You are requested to land at Docking Bay Four. Your escort will meet you there."

Kirk narrowed his eyes. Something was going on, something that he didn't like. "Acknowledged." Kirk replied plainly. He steered his ship into the atmosphere. He didn't sense anything unusual about it, other than the fact that there weren't too many building aside from the scattered landing pads and docking bays around the area. Kirk found the one marked "4" in peeling red paint and as soon as he touched down he saw a group of black armored soldiers standing in two lines as a sole figure in a high collared gray uniform walked through the pathway formed by the troops. His red eyes focused intensely on Kirk's as he walked down the ramp.

"Master Dekim, to what do we owe the pleasant visit?" Cem Fel asked in a cool and crisp tone. It was clear that Cem wasn't frightened of Kirk and that Cem was in his element on this planet. The soldiers stood stiffly to attention, waiting for orders.

"I was under the impression that you already knew, seeing as you fled Chiss space without so much as a word to your father." Kirk said, keeping his voice even.

Cem raised an eyebrow. "I am unaware, so please enlighten me." Kirk sensed the hidden threat in Cem's voice at that comment. It was clear that if Kirk said the wrong thing the troops would probably attack or Cem himself would.

"By order of Baron Fel, you, Cem Fel, are under arrest and sentenced to death on sight." Kirk stated. Cem didn't move or show any sign that the statement had surprised or even bothered him. _Not so much as a twitch at that_, Kirk thought to himself.

"I assume you're the assassin my father sent to kill me?" Cem asked impassively and almost in a bored tone. Kirk frowned.

"I offered to come and negotiate your terms of release from the order of execution," Kirk answered.

"My father is clearly mistaken if he thinks he can change my mind at this point," Cem said and turned sharply as another figure approached.

"Captain Fel, who is this man?" The cloaked figure demanded.

"This, Jyaing, is Master Kirk Dekim, I don't believe you two have met. It would be more polite if you introduced yourself before demanding who someone else is." Cem's cool tone and calm composure was unnerving, even to Kirk and it was clear that he wasn't the only one who thought so.

"My apologies, Captain, I was not aware that this was a friend of yours," The dark cloaked figure bowed, "Welcome to D'rish'Shayt, Master Dekim."

Cem waved the soldiers away and Jyaing went with them. "Come with me, Master Dekim." Cem said and began walking in military fashion back to the building at the end of the docking bay. It opened with a loud clang and Cem strode calmly through with Kirk behind him.

"I trust my father didn't tell you that he knew for a long time where I had disappeared off to?" Cem asked.

"No, Soontir didn't tell me anything except that you needed to be talked to." Kirk replied, "Though I doubted you'd listen."

Cem smiled as he turned his head slightly to face Kirk, "You are correct, Master Dekim," Cem then returned his attention to walking through the hallway and up to a lift where Cem punched in a code before the doors opened. Kirk followed Cem inside the lift. "You have keen instincts, Master Dekim, instincts that only some Jedi dream of having and ones that I myself envy."

"I'm flattered," Kirk said, though his tone was completely unmoved by Cem's words.

"No need to be so cold, Master Dekim. I am not your enemy." The lift doors then opened to a floor with a lighter tone of gray in floor panels. He kept going at a clear pace until he reached a door where two guards stood to attention.

"Pray tell," Kirk said sardonically, "Who is my enemy?"

The door whizzed open to reveal a man seated at a small table. His steel gray eyes focused on Kirk and his heavily scarred face glared blades at him.

"I am," A blast hit Kirk squarely in the chest and he fell.

Luke started. Something had happened to Kirk. He knew that feeling anywhere. It was one that Luke had long forgotten since the days of the rebellion, one of a powerful force lingering on the edges of the galaxy just out of reach of the Jedi's protection and watchful eyes. At the time of the rebellion though, Luke and Leia were two of the only known Jedi. Others were scattered but Luke hadn't yet met them.

He stood up. Mara was now home, and he was reluctant to act now but Kirk had been Luke's student and Luke owed Kirk a lot for helping Anakin. Luke's mind was made up. He went to his closet and began to put on his Jedi robes and outfit and then clipped on his belt. Onto the belt Luke hooked his lightsaber and then walked over to where Mara lay sleeping. He quickly scrawled a messy note on a piece of paper and pressed it into her unclenched open hand. It closed around the note and she stirred. But not before Luke was gone.

Tenel Ka had finally let Jacen's body be removed from her apartment. It was moved to the new Jedi Temple that was in the process of being constructed on Hapes. Tenel Ka had decided that it was an appropriate action as Jacen had sworn to Tenel Ka's father that Hapes would have its first Jedi King. Jacen was the king and was for a short time. It wasn't enough for Tenel Ka though. She wanted the entire planet to adapt to the new regime of Jedi. No one, not even the other Hapan officials, would stand in her goal of unifying Hapes under the force.

Tenel Ka planned to return to Hapes herself in two days. If Valin was going to be raised under the Hapan traditions as well as the Jedi code, she knew he'd have to be raised on Hapes. Tenel Ka wasn't entirely sure what to make of the constant barrage of sympathy she was receiving from fellow Jedi as well as other people from around the galaxy who had heard about Jacen's death. She didn't even realize how well known and respected Jedi were until now. She'd lost sight of the amount of sacrifice that Jedi had paid to the galaxy throughout time. Maybe it was what Ta'a Chume had said or maybe it was the Yuuzhan Vong War that had made Tenel Ka forget what being a Jedi was all about until now.

Tenel Ka rewound the holo that was playing. Leia had given it to Tenel Ka with the holo message Jacen had recorded. In it he expressed that he had the feeling that the disease would soon claim his life and that if that happened the holos would be for Valin and the unborn child to hear the words of their father by.

One of them was more of a montage.

It had footage of Jacen and Jaina as young Jedi trainees at Yavin 4 and then of them as children around eight or nine.

_Jacen laughed as he tried chasing Jaina around with a stick he was pretending was a lightsaber. She yelled at him and with a small force shove Jacen tumbled backwards into a chair. Leia's yells could be heard in the background and Anakin came into the room with his latest invention. He sat down on the carpet, oblivious to his siblings and began to tinker with the small machine. _

"_Come on, Leia, they're just kids," Han's voice was saying. Jacen then stood up and grinned at Jaina._

"_Hey, Jay, I'm going to be a great Jedi!"_

"_Not if you keep crashing into things like that you're not." Jaina answered._

"_Am too!"_

"_Are not!"_

"_It worked!" Anakin's voice broke in. The small robot Anakin had been working on picked itself up and began to walk across the room and clean up the dirt off the floor. It moved over to Jacen and took the stick "lightsaber" from him. _

"_Hey!" Jacen cried and ran after the robot. He stumbled again and grunted. "How am I going to be a Jedi if I don't have a lightsaber?"_

_Jaina laughed, "You just use the force, Jace," Just as Jacen was getting up, she force pushed him down again. _

"_That's not funny!" He yelled and began to chase his sister again. _

"_I'll be the best Jedi and I'll even have better Jedi kids than you!" Jacen yelled as Jaina disappeared down the hallway. Han then came around the corner and patted Jacen on the head._

"_You'll be okay, Son, she's just quicker on her feet." Han ruffled Jacen's hair and then kept walking. For a moment Jacen's brandy eyes met the holo video's camera, one that either Leia or Han had set up in their apartment at the time. He stared at it with a meditative stare, one with deep concentration then he grinned and started away._

"_I am going to marry the prettiest girl and that'll show everyone that I'll be a Jedi like nobody else." He said. "Jay! I'll be the best Jedi ever and then you'll want me to help you!" _

The holo-video ended and Tenel Ka smiled through her tears_. _Even when he was that young Jacen knew he wanted to be a father and raise his children to be great Jedi. Tenel Ka was sure he was right. From a long time ago Jacen had been right about many things.

"Your Majesty?" The attendant appeared in the doorway. "The officials are waiting for you at the hotel."

Tenel Ka placed the holo-videos back in their box and then closed it before placing it in the drawer.

**A/N- Sorry this chapter was a little short. But there's still more to come, so please keep reading!! =)**


	21. A Forgotten Past

**Chapter 20**

**A Forgotten Past**

_A/N- Um… yeah, long time no post. I justly deserve your frustration, but I assure you all that I have a good reason for my lack of postings. I just started work this week (yes, I had to get a job for college- I'm actually doing two part-time jobs so I get home at different times in the day on different days of the week). I'm working some Saturdays too, so I'll try to work around those time blocks to write for you guys. _

_Anyways, this chapter was written with the intention of shedding some more light on specific characters who may have taken a backseat in previous chapters. You'll see what I mean- I won't say too much because I don't like spoilers- they're evil. _

_Also, if you haven't already reviewed, it's never too late to let me know what you think! ;) _

_Oh, oh, oh! Yeah, I almost forgot! I just bought a guide to all the weapons of the Star Wars universe. So I can add more details!! Wooooo!!!!!_

_By the way, Happy Belated New Years! _

_Okee, done with rambling. _

_-Don =)_

* * *

Kirk blinked his eyes twice only to see the blurry outline of a person in front of him. It was too difficult for him to know for sure, but he felt the presence of her.

"Nina." He muttered. The person seemed to smile from what Kirk could feel in the force.

"You've gotten older, Kirk."

"You haven't changed a bit." He said with a smile himself.

"Well, while you've been off saving the galaxy, I've been trying to keep myself the same."

Kirk groaned, "Aw, come on, I had to go."

"You did. But if you'd stayed, maybe things would have been different." She gave him a mournful smile before Kirk realized the presence he was feeling wasn't in the room. He felt a sharp jab in his abdomen and his eyes shot open. Nina was gone and in her place was the form of the heavily scarred man. He was seated in front of Kirk, who was lying on his side against the cold steel floor of what Kirk took to be a ship.

"Kirk Dekim. How nice of you to drop by. I was beginning to wonder if you'd died after you left last time." The man smiled ruefully.

"Mind your own business," Kirk said with a harsh glare in his captor's direction. The man raised an eyebrow.

"I could just kill you, you know," The steel gray eyes fixated on Kirk as he shifted himself into a cross-legged position. Kirk regarded the man with minor interest.

"I could care less."

"Now, now, Kirk. Is that really how you feel? You do have a future. Your antics ten years ago proved that. Don't throw away what you've got."

"Is that why you shot me?" Kirk asked sardonically. The man held out his hands.

"Come now, it was only a stun gun," The other replied with a sigh, "You wouldn't have listened to me otherwise." He paused as Kirk removed his cuffs using the force, "Kirk, you're a hard man to get a hold of," The man nodded approvingly, "And that's what I like about you. You're clean and quick at any job. Nothing gets past you or your senses. Skills like yours are hard to come by. Why don't you drop the whole Jedi act and come back to where you belong."

Kirk scowled deeply as he stood up. From the feel of the ship and the way it was set up, Kirk could tell it was still in docking bay mode. His captor had no intention of keeping Kirk for very long.

"Look, Terry," Kirk said with a short glance around him before returning his attention to the man now known as Terry. "I left that life a long time ago."

"With a bang I might add," Terry replied with some amusement in his tone. "I'd never seen someone with guts until you blew a hole in the hull of my ship and laid my crew to waste. It was an impressive sweep."

Kirk grimaced. That was a moment he had no intention of reliving in any way, shape, or form. The crew had all been innocent bystanders, but at the time Kirk hadn't cared all that much. He simply killed them to accomplish the mission within the time block of his employer. He'd gone back to being a thief and a killer because it was all that made sense. As a Jedi Master he was able to be anywhere and be trusted. Kirk didn't overlook his advantages and manipulated them to the point where no one he'd hurt in the process could look at him the same way.

"Miko wants you back." Terry said. Kirk hid his flash of anger at the mention of the man who had given Kirk missions that could only be accomplished through straight violence and brutality.

"Yeah, well, if he wants me he can look for me at my funeral." Kirk stated and called his lightsaber and blaster from Terry's belt without so much as a flick of his wrist.

"Kirk, you made a mistake," Terry said in a placating tone, "We all did. None of us want to repeat those mistakes. That's why I came here. I felt your presence for the first time in years. You've cut everyone out of your life, Kirk. It's hurting you more than it's helping you to just ignore what happened."

Kirk's head snapped around. "Ignore it? What the kriff have you been doing all these years, Terry? I've been trying to fix what I fucked up back then." His eyes lingered on Terry's twitching face for a moment. "You helped me to realize something, Terry."

Terry frowned. "What's that?"

Kirk started towards the ramp door and turned his head for a fraction of a second, "That no matter what you do, the past stays dead." Kirk hit the ramp door's button and as soon as it opened he was gone.

Terry sighed. Kirk was one of the hardest people to get a hold of, and even if one did manage to snag him, convincing him was a whole other issue. It was time to bring in more force. Terry clicked his comlink and after a second a cool voice crackled on the other end, "Miko."

"You were right, he didn't want to listen." Terry said in an irritated tone.

"I told you it wouldn't work, Terry. Kirk is a single directional person, he doesn't easily sway."

Terry grunted angrily. "I realized that. Don't berate me, Reglia."

Miko's tone relaxed, "I know you want to convince him quickly, Terry, but that just won't happen." He breathed a meditative sigh, "I learned a great deal from the man. Perhaps even more than my former master."

"Durron? That nut couldn't match any master, even Skywalker."

"Skywalker is quite talented despite his inactivity of late." Miko said thoughtfully. "Though I'd much rather fight someone of worthier blood."

"Is that what this is about, Reglia?" Terry demanded, "Fighting those worthy of killing?"

Miko laughed hollowly, "Hardly." His lips curled into a satisfactory smile. "In time, Terry, you will understand just how pointless killing a powerful Jedi is."

Terry hated how unperturbed and impassive Miko always was. The young man was barely thirty years old and managed to outwit the best smugglers, warriors, and even Jedi in the galaxy. Terry knew that Miko was a trained Jedi himself but the fact remained that Miko's training was unfinished. It was probably on Miko's agenda to find a master to complete that training, even if that meant destroying any and all previous lessons learned.

Terry remained perplexed as to why Miko spent ten years trying to track down Kirk Dekim of all people. Terry himself had been hired, as he was one of best trackers and also someone who knew Kirk well enough to find out the Jedi Master's location. Miko himself didn't rest once during the ten years they spent searching. That was what annoyed Terry. Miko was uncannily like Kirk in terms of Miko's undying determination to complete a task no matter how ridiculous or improbable the success might be.

"Call him back. I'll talk to him." Miko said. Terry swallowed. The hidden sharpness in Miko's smooth voice was probably the least of Kirk's worries.

"If he's not gone already." Terry answered uneasily.

Miko shook his head as he came around the corner from far side of the docking bay. "He's still here. He has a mission to complete." Miko lifted his eyes to focus on the ship, he ran his hand over the underside and then turned to Terry. "I don't have to remind you, Terry, what your part in this is."

Terry shivered again. Miko had once more used the neutral, yet quietly threatening, tone that was reserved for when Miko himself was about to take control of a failed project.

"Yes, Reglia, I do." Terry answered with a small growl in his voice. Miko arched his brow.

"Are you having reservations, Terry?" Miko's hand went to his belt without much motion on his part. He was a master of subtly and he never used force unless necessary. His tongue was his best weapon.

"Of course I am. You're chasing a ghost of a man that died a decade ago," Terry spat on the ground. "You're out of your bloody mind, Reglia, and it's about time I stopped listening to your jawa jabbering."

Miko raised a single eyebrow this time. He didn't move any other part of his body, even as his eyes rested on Terry they weren't even moving. He didn't blink or twitch either. Terry dug deep to find his last nerves to make his stand against Miko.

"I'm through, Reglia. You can keep your credits and your ghost hunt. I'm out of here." Terry then hit the button to close the ramp, and as he turned around, he looked into the now fiery almost teal colored green eyes of Miko and that was the last thing he saw before a flash of glowing sapphire and crimson plunged into Terry's unprotected back and then swiftly decapitated him.

Anakin swerved in a neck jerking figure eight before shooting right under his next target and then pulling around to shot the enemy fighter's engine. He then grimaced as a blast hit his own ship from behind. He flipped his ship around and fired a straight shot into the cockpit glass of his attacker. The glass revealed the crackling of wires and then it burst into flames. Anakin felt the pain of the pilot and frowned. He almost wished he could simply shoot Xillanor directly without going through all the other fighters. It would save time and lives.

"Kid, you alive?"

"Yeah," Anakin said in a low tone.

"Good, because our party is about to be crashed," Adrock's statement brought Anakin's head around to face the two dozen X-Wings that had just pulled out of hyperspace and were attacking the dark fighters.

Adrock's sharp intake of breath over the com channel started Anakin out of his brief moment of relief. "Adrock?"

Both their channels now had a third voice, "This is Rogue Leader, are you two alright?"

Anakin knew that voice. "I'm alright, Wedge."

"Anakin Solo? I'm surprised to run into you out here. Your parents are wondering what you've been doing." Wedge's voice was conspiratorial. "But since you're up to no good I think I can overlook our little meeting out here."

Anakin grinned. Wedge Antilles certainly hadn't changed much from the person Anakin's father and uncle had described him as. "X-Wing fighter, are you damaged?"

"No, I'm not." Adrock said coldly. Anakin felt Wedge twitch through the force.

"Adrock," Wedge's tone changed from light to being sharp and harsh. "Don't you think six years of avoiding your family is enough?"

"You wouldn't accept me even if I did." Adrock stated stiffly.

"You have no idea what I will and won't accept, Adrock. I was willing to accept your decision six years ago and I'm ready to accept it now." He sucked in his breath. "Adrock, you have to face what you did."

"What _I_ did?" Adrock laughed hollowly. "All I did was deal with a problem and you kicked me off the squadron for it."

"You killed a fellow pilot!" Wedge practically yelled into the channel, his anger reverberating through the static, "I was willing to let you decide whether or not you wanted to remain in the New Republic's air force or to leave. But you just took off and haven't contacted myself or anyone else in six years."

"For good reason too. You wouldn't understand why I pulled the trigger. You're too old to understand the way the galaxy works now." Adrock flicked the off switch on his com channel and then flicked the switch to have a private channel with Anakin.

"Anakin, if you don't mind, I want to make the jump out of here." Adrock said, the chilliness was still evident in his tone but it had subsided somewhat.

"I'll send you the coordinates," Anakin said, then switched to a private channel with Wedge, "Wedge, tell my parents I'm alive and that I'll be traveling around a lot more so I won't be back any time soon."

"Well, I think they'll at least be happy to hear that you're breathing." Wedge said with a faint smile and a forced playful tone. Adrock's words had clearly cut deep.

"Solo out." Anakin said and then reopened his channel with Adrock. "Ready?"

"Let's go," Adrock said firmly. In seconds the stars turned to straight lines and Anakin and Adrock soon arrived at the second rendezvous location that Tahiri had sent to Anakin via their force bond.

They slowly lowered into the atmosphere of the small planet below them and onto the first landing site they saw below, which was just an open field with a few scattered bushes and a plethora of wildflowers.

As soon as Anakin's ship touched down he gave a long sigh. He removed his helmet and was halfway out of the ship when something hit him chest high and tackled him onto the ground below.

"Ouch, Tahiri, what-?" He stopped when he noticed that she wasn't smiling at him. Anakin moved so he was in a sitting position and put Tahiri at arm's length so he could look at her more clearly. "Tahiri, what's wrong?"

"You could have said something!" She said fiercely. He looked at her strangely.

"About what?" He glanced behind him as Adrock emerged from his own ship.

"You know what!" Tahiri growled and her emerald eyes bore into Anakin's blue. He remained completely perplexed.

"No, I really don't know," He said and began to frown.

"You cut off your mind bond! I couldn't feel you at all!" She said and glared at Anakin more intensely.

"What are you talking about?" Anakin asked, now more confused than he had been when she first started yelling at him. "I never cut you off. I just told you to go to the rendezvous point."

Tahiri blinked at him, "Then why didn't I feel you after that?"

Anakin thought for a moment and then remembered that for a brief moment during his fight against Xillanor that Anakin couldn't feel anything in the force at all. It was so brief that Anakin hadn't paid it any mind. But apparently Tahiri had noticed it. "I didn't even know that had happened."

"Then you didn't do it on purpose?" She asked. Anakin shook his head.

"I…" He felt a nauseating feeling filling his stomach and then his head throbbed violently. Anakin's vision went in and out of focus for a second before he could look at Tahiri fully again.

"Anakin?" Her concern at his lack of focus overturned her anger at his antics in the battle. She knew that Anakin's shifts in force power often caused problems, but she couldn't be sure when and how those shifts would happen.

_What is going on? _Anakin thought as his vision blurred again and then his entire head had earsplitting pain shoot through it and Anakin's head burned so badly that he shut his eyes. Without warning the pain shot straight into his chest and Anakin slumped to the ground.

"Anakin?" Tahiri pulled him up but he was already unconscious. Adrock looked the most confused of the entire group as James and Wyn approached.

"What happened?" James asked, kneeling next to Anakin.

"That's what I want to know." Adrock said, "Are you guys all Jedi or something?"

Tahiri looked at Adrock, only now noticing that he was there, "Who are you?"

"I'm the guy who saved Anakin's ass. Name's Adrock Antilles," Adrock stated plainly.

"Any relation to Wedge Antilles?" The question came from James. Adrock looked at James carefully.

"He's my pater, but that doesn't say anything." Adrock's statement diverted all attention from the subject. James nodded in understanding.

"I'm not a Jedi, but Tahiri is," He gestured to Tahiri. "Wyn's not one either."

"That right?" Adrock asked. "Looks like you guys have been through the wringer."

"You could say that," Wyn said with a shrug. James looked at her in surprise. "What?"

"We're on the run from a crazed bounty hunter and all you say is 'you could say that'?" James' voice was almost incredulous. Wyn arched her brow.

"Don't be dramatic, James. A little adventure won't kill you," Wyn pointed out.

"Actually it could," Adrock put in. Wyn and James looked at him. He threw up his hands, "I'm only sayin' it could."

James then returned his gaze to Anakin. "He needs medical attention," James could feel a little of Anakin's strain through the force but didn't know how to pinpoint the source. For all James knew the source could be anyone in the galaxy who had force potential.

"What's yer name?" Adrock asked James. He regarded Adrock mildly.

"James," James replied shortly. Adrock folded his arms across his chest.

"You guys aren't too fond of last names I take it." Adrock said with a cocked eyebrow.

"You aren't either." James countered. Adrock shrugged.

"I at least admitted where I was from."Adrock looked at James with interest. "What's in your past that you're running from."

"I'm from nowhere and that's all you need to know." James said firmly and with an edge. He then turned around and walked silently back to his ship. Wyn looked at Tahiri and Anakin and then followed James.

Adrock looked at Tahiri, "Is everyone in your little crew like that?"

Tahiri looked up, "What?"

"Abrupt and harsh."

Tahiri nodded, "Most of the time. Anakin and James more so than the rest of us, but there's only one of us who isn't, " She then turned as she felt the presence of the mentioned member approached. Adrock followed her gaze to the small form of Gi-Nego as he walked over.

"You're an Ewok." Adrock stated with awe.

Gi-Nego favored the young pilot with a smile, "Indeed, young one," He looked Adrock up and down, "But I daresay you are not much of an alien yourself." Adrock's stunned silence at the small joke in the Ewok's answer left time for Gi-Nego to make his way to Anakin's side and begin to use the force to examine him.

Gi-Nego closed his eyes and frowned as a few minutes had passed, "It seems as though Anakin's mind is being broken into."

Tahiri felt her hair rise at the mention of mind breaking, "By whom?"

Gi-Nego paused and then opened his eyes, "I cannot be sure," Gi-Nego answered slowly, "But the sooner Anakin can get his mental defenses back up the better."

Tahiri glanced down at Anakin, whose face was contorted and was beginning to pale as sweat trickled from his hair. "What if I helped him?"

Gi-Nego regarded Tahiri, "Tahiri, you do not have the ability to enter Anakin's mind fully without causing harm to him or to yourself. There is also the chance that whoever is trying to break into Anakin's mind will enter yours as well if you try to interrupt the breaking."

Tahiri's jaw clenched, "Then what am I supposed to do?" She demanded, "I'm not going to just sit here while he's suffering from something I can't even see!"

Gi-Nego held up a small paw, "Patience, young Jedi, Anakin will not die this, if I am not mistaken, this is not a fatal mind breaking technique."

"They aren't all fatal?" Tahiri asked, a little overwhelmed by all the information.

"No, in fact, the more control you have over your breaking technique, the less chance there is of your target dying. Unless of course you really want to kill them, then there is nothing that can stop you."

Tahiri twitched but continued to try to remain calm, "So whoever is attacking Anakin is deciding not to kill him?"

Gi-Nego inclined his head, "So it would seem. Though I am unsure as it why one would break another's mind unless they wished to kill them."

"Why?" Tahiri questioned, her eyes fixating on the furry Jedi Master.

"Well," Gi-Nego said with a frown, "If you bore deep enough into someone 's mind to the point where their most painful memories are brought up to the front, you can hurt them to the point where they no longer function normally," The Ewok looked sad, "Basically everything that makes that person who they are will be destroyed as a result and they will be an emotionless shell of their former self."

Tahiri's eyes immediately went to Anakin. "What about Anakin, will that happen to him?"

Gi-Nego shook his head, "Anakin's mind barriers are extremely powerful, so it is unlikely that there will be any permanent damage." The Jedi Master straightened, "But only if we move quickly."

Tahiri stared at Gi-Nego, "Move?"

"Anakin will not recover unless he is completely isolated," Gi-Nego stated. Tahiri was liking this situation less and less by the passing minutes but Gi-Nego's last statement did it.

"I'm not leaving him alone," She said firmly.

Gi-Nego looked at Tahiri with sympathy but hardened his gaze, "If you wish to help him, you have to let him stay out here for tonight." Tahiri blankly stared at the old Jedi Master as though he was out of his mind. Maybe the strange Ewok had finally cracked.

"Any force sensitive presence will disrupt Anakin's fight," Gi-Nego said with a glance at Adrock. Tahiri's green eyes rested on Adrock.

"You mean he can stay with Anakin but I can't?" Tahiri asked.

"One person and Adrock seems to be the best choice since he has the least connection to Anakin's mind." Gi-Nego watched as Tahiri's shoulders stiffened then dropped into a sagging position.

"Fine," She stared at Adrock with the harshest glare she could manage, "But the minute something happens I'm coming back out here."

Adrock smiled reassuringly, "I won't let anything happen."

Gi-Nego, "On the contrary, the reason you are the one staying is because you can do nothing to aid Anakin against the breaking."

Adrock paled a little and watched as Tahiri started away, her clear misgivings and fear apparent on her face. Gi-Nego nodded to Adrock before following the other Jedi back to James' ship. Adrock sighed and sat next to Anakin's form. It was going to be a long night.

Kirk's neck crawled as he felt Terry die. There was nothing on that ship except for Terry and the strange presence that Kirk felt earlier, which turned out to be a figment of Kirk's pained imagination.

He didn't understand why Miko would want Kirk to return, after all, Kirk had been the one who had backed out of an important mission that Miko was managing. It was the last one Kirk was involved in before he withdrew and disappeared off the radar again for three years.

Kirk continued down the corridors, masking his presence with a force block. He knew there were other force sensitive beings around, though who they were Kirk didn't know and if he could help finding out, he'd avoid it

"Kirk Dekim, a pleasant surprise as any." A voice said from behind. Kirk pivoted and his lightsaber was ignited right at the throat of the figure behind him.

"I'm not playing any of your games, Miko." Kirk growled. The other smiled.

"All the more reason to kill me then?" Miko suggested in an almost brightly oblivious tone. Kirk didn't even twitch at the comment. "I assure you, I have nothing up my sleeve."

Kirk's hand snapped like he was cracking a whip and a trickle of blood fell from Miko's forehead and a gash appeared on his neck. Despite this, Miko remained calm. "Must you be violent, Kirk? I only want to talk."

"You can talk about why you killed Terry but I'm through listening to your lies." Kirk snarled, "I was finished when I left your crew and I'm no more interested now than I was then."

Miko shrugged, "If you wish to blame me for your misfortune, be my guest."

Kirk's force push sent Miko into the nearest wall, and if Miko hadn't anticipated the attack, he'd had been crushed upon impact. Instead Miko used the force to cushion himself. Miko picked himself up, he felt the broken bone in his wrist and the dislocation in his shoulder but Miko was otherwise mostly just bruised.

"I'm telling you now, Miko, I'm done." Kirk stated and without another word he left the hallway for the lift to the next floor. Miko watched Kirk leave, and as the other disappeared into the lift a smile crossed Miko's features.

Mara woke and felt the small jab in her palm from the paper pressed into it. She unclenched her hand and opened the crumpled note:

_Mara, _

_Kirk was in trouble so I felt I had to help him. It might have something to do with where he was for the past ten year so I don't know how long it'll take me to figure out what's going on. _

_I'll be back as soon as I know._

_-Luke_

Mara sighed and tossed the message into the wastebasket next to the bed. Luke seemed to find the most inopportune moments to go off on a wild ronto chase. Though it was like Luke to run off to help a friend, she got the feeling there was more to the mystery than even Luke was aware of. As far as Mara's intuition went, she was rarely ever wrong.

Luke, on the other hand, had some trouble being able to predict the worse case scenarios and often didn't know how to deal with them without causing more problems in the process or involving someone who didn't want anything to do with it. That was how Luke had met Mara after all. He'd dragged her into his escape from Talon Karrde and the imperials. As a result Mara became tangled in Luke's web of contacts and in the forming of the New Republic at the expense of the destruction of the remains of Mara's beloved Empire. It took her a long time to get over the bitterness she felt as a result of losing what had been the sole purpose and comfort in her life.

That all changed when she gave up trying to fight against the paths Luke inadvertently dragged her down. He was a strange young man from a desert planet and the son of one of the Empire's two most dreaded Sith Lords. The only other was the Emperor.

It was hard to believe that the man that she would now be devastated to lose was someone she had been determined to ruin and wipe his existence from the galaxy entirely. Luke was an irreplaceable piece of Mara's being.

A smile tugged at Mara's mouth as she thought about how pure hearted and somewhat naïve Luke was when they were struggling through the forest to get away from the imperials. He'd been weaponless and still he cared about Mara, someone he'd never actually met in his entire life, and someone who, at the time, had been hell-bent on killing him. It was ironic really. How the meaning in one's life could change so drastically and how alarmingly thin the line between loyalties was.

Mara had walked that line for a while before deciding that being neutral was better than joining with Thrawn or with the Rebellion completely. Karrde was that gray area.

Now Mara knew whose side she was on, yet there still seemed to be fading allies and with them emerging enemies. Whose decision was it then to determine when someone was no longer an ally and was now an enemy? Luke couldn't suddenly make someone into his enemy and kill them. The last time he'd been faced with that choice was when he'd stood before the Emperor and blatantly told the aging sith that Luke wasn't going to join the dark side or become like his father. The Emperor then decided to kill Luke and the only thing that saved Luke was Darth Vader's sudden return to being Anakin Skywalker, the loving father that never would see his daughter or the galaxy she would eventually help to form.

Anakin Solo was now one of those vague people. He was as pure heartedly loyal and loving as anyone, but Mara knew that Anakin tread a thin line between the dark side and the light. What was worse was that Anakin was well aware of this fact. He embraced it even. His namesake was beginning to become a reality rather than simply being a nightmare that would never come to pass.

Mara sighed as she wandered into Ben's room and watched the boy as he slept peacefully. He was blissfully unaware, as children often are, of the darkness that was surrounding his family and had surrounded it for years. The last name Skywalker had come to mean fear as well as hope in the eyes of the galaxy. It was the face of a man who had lost himself as well as the face of a man who had been destined to erase what he helped to build.

Mara could only hope that Anakin Solo wouldn't become that same fear stricken person that Anakin Skywalker was.

**A/N- Da-dun!! Yoda says "Ta-da!!" Well, until the next chapter, I bid you, my lovely readers, a good day! =)**


	22. For the Lost

**Chapter 21**

**For The Lost**

_A/N- Okay, I'm going to say this vaguely on purpose but some of you are in for a surprise (about what I'm not saying). Hee ;) _

_I'm wondering why the previous chapter hasn't gotten that many hits (reviews aside)- did my writing quality go down? I worked hard on the last chapter so if it's not up to par I need to know. _

_I'm writing on Pocky power!!! Who here has had Pocky before? Anyone? Buehler? Ha, ha. It's delicious if you haven't. Most food stores sell Pocky (little bread sticks with chocolate on them) and it's well worth trying… and getting addicted to. _

_Hello, my name is Don, and I am a Pocky addict._

_Hello, Don! _

_*Dead silence*_

_You don't have to laugh at that but feel free to laugh at me. =)_

**jediluver033- Thanks! I hope your computer works better from now on. I'm finally going to move the plot forwards a little. I've been having some writer's block so some of the chapters have been filler-ish. But the ones coming up should be better. **

**JediBettyBug- Woo! I do too! I'm definitely planning to have some more of that kind of thing later on as I build up on Jaina's conflict. I think you'll definitely like this chapter- I tucked in a little surprise and yes it's the good kind. =) **

As always it is a pleasure to write for you all. Reviews…. Do I need to say it?

Thanks,

-Don =)

* * *

Anakin stared into the blank space of his mind. It was disorientating to see exactly what the floating and transparent mind that lived inside everyone in a physical manifestation. If Anakin hadn't seen the force in its physical form he'd probably have been more confused. But weird things were normal, at least for Anakin Solo.

The inner manifestation of Anakin's mind was a black space with spirals of stars like those in the galaxy and with floating whispers of what Anakin knew to be his thoughts. Though he'd listened many times to his own thoughts, hearing them like they were separate from his own being was odd. But once again, Anakin wasn't a stranger to the weird and strange. He watched as one of the spirals sucked in another and expanded across the blank space. Anakin took a minute before he noticed the other presence near him. He gazed around and rested his eyes on the person's shimmering presence next to one of the spirals.

Anakin blinked the pain from his face. "Jacen."

Tahiri gave a restless grunt and began pacing the kitchen on board the ship. "How much longer?"

Gi-Nego, for what seemed like the hundredth time, answered, "I cannot say, Jedi Knight Tahiri."

"Why the hell not?" Tahiri demanded.

Gi-Nego released what was his most strained sigh so far, "Because only Anakin knows."

"And the guy trying to kill him," James added flippantly as he walked into the kitchen. Gi-Nego shot the dark haired boy a warning glare, the only time Gi-Nego had ever shown outward anger.

"If I am not mistaken," Gi-Nego continued, "I do not believe that the person penetrating Anakin's mind is actually trying to harm him at all."

"We've established that already," James said with a snort as he sat down with a huff onto the bench. "So what's this guy's agenda if he or she isn't trying to kill Anakin?"

Gi-Nego sighed, "I'm afraid we won't know until Anakin regains consciousness."

"_If _he regains consciousness," James corrected and before he could continue the bench was upended onto the floor and Tahiri's back was through the doorway in a second.

"What the sith is wrong with her?" James asked as he picked himself up off the floor. Even Wyn looked angry.

"I understand where she's coming from. I'd be mad if someone said that to me," Wyn said, folding her arms across her chest and leaned against the table.

"Said what?" James demanded, "The truth?"

"You could have kept it to yourself!" Wyn snapped back. "Has anyone have taught you that sometimes lying is better than the truth?"

"I don't get it," James said sardonically. "Aren't Jedi supposed to face the truth no matter what it is?"

"Even Jedi are flawed, James." Gi-Nego pointed out firmly. "Though," Gi-Nego said with another sigh.

"That's not an excuse for letting people die." James stated vehemently.

"We do not _let _people die, James," Gi-Nego said calmly.

"Really? Then what do you do?"

"We help in what ways we can. Not everything is within our power to save." The Jedi Master's aged fur ruffled and his shoulders sagged with his exhale. "There comes a time when we must realize that there are some things we simply cannot prevent from happening."

James' eyes flared, "How many times do you plan to use that as an excuse before everyone is dead?"

"James," Wyn said in half soothing and half warning tone, gripping his shoulder, and was surprised when he didn't try to throw her off.

"No, Wyn, let him answer. It's about time that someone put the Jedi on trial," He said firmly and eyed Gi-Nego, who was silent. "Well, Master Gi Nego?"

The old master gave James a sympathetic look. "I see much pain in you and in your past, Young One," Gi-Nego said gently, "I have no right to know what happened to you, nor does it matter what I think since it is you who must decide initially what is to become of your future.

To James' surprise the old Ewok continued in a subdued voice, "My future is, and always has been, to die alone. I foresaw this a long time ago and thus decided to isolate myself. During the battle of Endor, I did not appear, not once, even when my kin were dying, I refused to reveal myself. I was so convinced that I would never be happy if I was not alone, so I stayed hidden." He smiled weakly at the two young humans.

"Now I am alone, just as the force predicted," He closed his eyes, "The force tells you things because it is a possibility, not because it is the truth. Often if the person who sees the future becomes convinced that it is the truth, then it will be. But it is not always so," Gi-Nego regarded James and then Wyn carefully. James still hadn't pushed Wyn away. "You know within yourself, James, what it is that you are capable of creating for yourself and for others. As harsh as it may be, your pain gives you insight to the struggles of those around you."

James still stared intently at the furry Jedi Master but hadn't said anything or moved since the Ewok had begun to spin his tale. "What you use that insight for," Gi-Nego's gaze rested on Wyn with an intenseness that made James turn to look at her. "Is up to you."

James remained still and it took him a minute before he could manage a response. "You're out of your mind, Master Gi-Nego," James said plainly, "Even though you're probably the most insightful Jedi I've met, you're still just as crazy as everyone else if you think that I'm able to have a life outside of the one tied to my past," He finally stepped away from Wyn so that her arm dropped to her side. "I don't love anyone and I never will." He started out of the kitchen, "Even me."

The other gave a weak half smile, "It's been a while, Anakin."

Anakin swallowed hard. Here Jacen was, inside of his mind and all this time Anakin had been thinking that Jacen would leave without a word to anyone. The force was, as Anakin knew, often cruel as it was merciful. What surprised Anakin more, was that the person trying to get into Anakin's mind was Jacen and not someone else.

"Jacen," Anakin said, finding it hard to say his brother's name after having felt Jacen die not too long ago, "Why were you trying to get into my mind?"

Jacen stiffened, "I wasn't. That's why I'm here." He turned to look into the center of one of the spirals. Jacen then returned his gaze to his brother. "I'm not the one who was trying to break into your mind, Anakin."

Anakin froze. "Then why are you here?"

Jacen grinned but was disappointed, playing the part of the "wise and mysterious Jedi" was never one of Jacen's strong points, "I'm here to tell you that it wasn't a threat." He grinned, "So you wouldn't do anything stupid."

Anakin arched his brow at Jacen, _He decided to take on a mission that almost got him killed by a tree and I'm the one who's stupid? _"So it's not Xillanor?"

Jacen scowled at the name, "You met him?"

"Twice," Anakin replied, "Once before I passed out and another time before then. What's up with that guy?"

Jacen looked at Anakin seriously, "Anakin, I'm telling you this for your own good: stay away from that bounty hunter."

Anakin had never heard Jacen use a tone so dire and grim so it wasn't something that Anakin was about to overlook that Jacen had now used both tones in one, "Why?"

Jacen's jaw twitched. "He's the reason I'm dead."

Tenel Ka had never known something so frightening until she realized that she was going to have to raise Valin and her unborn child alone. Jacen wasn't going to come back with his cocky Solo smile plastered on his face and that carefree attitude and tell her it was going to be okay, and that they were going to be in the parenthood together. Jacen was gone and that was that…. Right?

Tenel Ka sighed as she tried to focus on the papers she was filing through for the next meeting of the royal council. Valin was now constantly in the care of one of Tenel Ka's handpicked assistants, Yuuna. The energetic child was barely a year old and he was already trying to walk his way around the palace. Albeit he didn't have much success but he was certainly determined to make an effort of it. The boy was now sitting on the floor behind Tenel Ka's desk and was attempting to reach for a nearby pencil that had fallen on the carpet. Frustrated with his lack of arm length the baby grunted and reached out again, but this time was rewarded when the pencil twitched and then zoomed into the baby's outstretched hand. He giggled and began to poke the carpet with the tip. Tenel Ka had glanced around in time to see the pencil move, of its own accord, into her son's hand. She blinked. Valin was even stronger in the force than either of the Solo twins were when they were born. Tenel Ka wondered if it had to do with the fact that Valin was the son of two Jedi instead of one. Although the twins had come from a long line of force sensitive people, and were, to be fair, extremely powerful, Valin had done something that wasn't normal for a baby of a year old.

"Da!" The baby threw the pencil and it hit the nearby wall, making a small dent. Tenel Ka raised an eyebrow, a habit she'd picked up from Jacen. She'd have to make sure to pad the walls in the future. A knock turned Tenel Ka's attention to the door.

"Your Majesty?" A thinly built woman in light robes entered the room. Yuuna was a young woman from Coruscant who was trained in the force by Coran Horn for a brief amount of time, at least before Valin Horn had been killed he had trained Yuuna. After that the young woman had been assigned to Kyp Durron and only recently been promoted to Jedi Knight and been under the radar of Tenel Ka at the recommendation of both Luke Skywalker and Kyp Durron to be assigned to Hapes permanently. Tenel Ka agreed because Luke had personally tested and examined Yuuna.

"Oh dear, what has he done to the wall?" Yuuna said as she picked up the pencil.

Tenel Ka turned her body to face Yuuna, "It seems like Valin had some force potential in its early stages."

Yuuna looked at Valin with wonder and then got down on one knee, "Do you like the force, J.D?"

J.D. was the nickname that everyone except Tenel Ka used for Valin. The baby seemed to like the name so it stuck. Tenel Ka on the other hand, preferred the name that she and Jacen had chosen. Yuuna had scooped up Valin while Tenel Ka had been lost in thought. "I'll bring him back later. Master K'tar might want to examine Valin for force specialty."

Tenel Ka nodded in agreement. S'yon K'tar was, to the surprise of many, a bothan Jedi whose loyalties lay solely with the Jedi and nowhere else. He was also relatively young for his age and his youth made teachings easier to understand. He also knew a great deal about force specialties, he was able to feel through the force what direction one's force presence tended to lean. Like Jacen was strong with animals and living things, K'tar sense what Valin's strength was.

"Yes, and tell Master K'tar that I would like to speak with him later," The young Queen shifted a little. "I have a personal matter to discuss with him."

Yuuna inclined her head, "Yes, Your Highness." Yuuna then bowed more fully and left Tenel Ka to sit at her desk unmoving for a moment. Tenel Ka let out an uncharacteristic sigh and leaned her head on the desk.

Valin was her sole reason for living now. He was Tenel Ka's pride and hope. The baby was growing quickly and Tenel Ka intended to keep him as safe as possible. She was also well invested in making Hapes into a Jedi friendly place. There were already twelve temples built on Hapes and one of them was even in the newly rebuilt private garden of the Queen.

"You wished to speak with me, Jedi Knight Djo?" K'tar asked as he appeared in the doorway. Tenel Ka started for a moment, and then recomposed herself.

"Yes, but you need not have come until after the meeting, Master K'tar." Tenel Ka inclined her head. He smiled, his fur shifting in his gesture of respect.

"I make time for those who I sense need my help." The Jedi Master walked into the room and took a seat next to Tenel Ka. "What is troubling you?"

Tenel Ka's pained eyes met those of the bothan, "I feel heartbroken."

The Jedi Master regarded Tenel Ka with sympathy, "Loss is like that."

Tenel Ka shook her head, "It is not okay for me to feel that way."

K'tar looked at her with narrowed eyes, "And why is that?"

"I am not allowed to be weak."

"You are not weak," The bothan said firmly, "There is not a weak bone in your entire body and if I may say so, you have always underestimated your strengths." K'tar frowned deeply, "If there is anything that is happening to you, it is your feeling of loss of a love that should not have ended so abruptly."

Tenel Ka lowered her gaze, "I have no reason to mourn, it will do nothing."

K'tar straightened and then stood up and walked to the window, clasping his hands behind him. The Master wore pure white Jedi robes and a training shirt and pants, and in the light of the window his fur and robes made him seem ghostlike. "I'm not so fortunate as to have had a love like yours, Jedi Knight Djo." He turned his head slightly, "The Jedi of old were forbidden to have attachments like yours and were subsequently compromised when one of their own betrayed the laws to have what you had and still have."

"With all due respect, Master K'tar, Jacen is dead." Tenel Ka stated. The Jedi Master smiled in wistful way.

"For now," He answered, "But he will come back in one form or another. You may meet him again, you may not." K'tar made his way back over to Tenel Ka. "But do not think that, even for a moment, that you have lost everything. Jacen gave his life to protect what you still have."

"Valin," Tenel Ka said in a low breath. K'tar nodded sagely.

"It is said that children are the force's gift to parents," K'tar looked at Tenel Ka thoughtfully, "I think it is a mistake to think of children as simply just gifts. They are more than one thing to a parent, don't you think?" The Jedi Master turned and walked out without waiting for a response.

But Tenel Ka already knew. She'd known it for a long time, and now she was beginning to understand what Jacen had a long time ago.

Anakin bristled, "Xillanor killed you?"

"Take it easy, Anakin," Jacen said, "Don't go flying off the handle just because you know-"

"Who killed you?" Anakin said angrily. "Do you have any idea what everyone's been through because you died?"

"I have some idea, believe me." Jacen said with a pained expression, "I know about Jaina."

Anakin's anger decreased but his voice still had bitterness, "Then you know that she's never going to recover unless something drastic happens?"

Jacen sighed, "I realized that, which is why I'm here to tell you that Xillanor isn't the one who is breaching your mind and it isn't an enemy."

"Then who's trying to breach my mind?" Anakin asked, still frowning slightly. He jerked his head around to see the new presence even before he stated it.

"I am."

Kirk stepped up to the door where he felt Cem's presence. He kept a tight grip on his lightsaber and used the force to unlock the door before he stepped inside and closed the blade down. Cem raised his eyebrow at the sight of Kirk.

"You're alive after meeting Miko?" Cem nodded in approval, "I truly _am_ impressed, Master Dekim. My father's babbling isn't all just lies. You live up to your reputation."

"You're not as smug as you act, Cem." Kirk replied coldly.

The young Chiss man laughed, "You certainly do have a death wish, Master Dekim." He pulled out his blaster and began fingering it and running his hands over the rough surface of the handle. "Why else would you walk into what you knew very well was a trap?"

"Terry didn't have the guts to kill anyone, he never did," Kirk answered stiffly, "Miko was the one who always carried out the executions."

"Which is no doubt why he likes you," Cem pointed out. Kirk's eyes hardened.

"You really don't have any idea who you're rubbing shoulders with, do you?" Kirk said with a disappointed glance at the desk the young officer was sitting out.

Cem arched his brow, "I do as a matter of fact. I've met the leader of the faction. He's not here but I've met him."

"It's not Claus Neros, is it?" Kirk asked, even though he already knew it wasn't.

The Chiss sat back in his chair, "Goodness, no, the old fogey can't even keep tabs on his own members. He's just a pawn." Cem regarded Kirk with a thoughtful look.

"You knew that already though, didn't you," Cem state rather than asked.

Kirk nodded, "Claus isn't, and has never been a great leader. He's too self absorbed."

Cem nodded, "My thoughts exactly," Cem smiled, "As it happens, I told my superior the same thing."

Kirk looked up sharply at the mention of the leader. "And what was his response?"

"The response?" Cem looked at Kirk carefully as Cem laced his fingers together on the desk. "I suppose it shouldn't hurt to tell you what he said." The Chiss stiffened, "The response was one of agreement. Our leader isn't an idiot, though some would probably say he is. I personally am more impressed with his apprentice."

Kirk's attention was now completely had. _Apprentice? Then the leader was definitely a dark Jedi of some sort. Who, though, was the real question. _

"Yes, I think I've said enough. You probably have already realized that the leader is a former Jedi. That is all you need to know and all you will know." Cem pressed the button on his desk and a voice crackled through the speaker.

"Yes, Captain Fel?" A flat and emotionless voice asked.

"Send a squad to escort Master Dekim to his ship." Cem ordered.

"Right away, Sir," The voice replied and then Cem clicked off the connection. Two red eyes focused on Kirk.

"You have something else you wish to say to me, Master Dekim?" Cem asked, noticing how grimly silent Kirk had become.

"No," Kirk answered coldly, "No, I don't." Kirk then drew his blaster and fired two shots into Cem's chest and then the door burst open as Kirk fired a third shot into Cem's arm as the Chiss fell from his chair.

"Captain!" One of the armored soldiers yelled and then spoke into the comlink in his helmet. "The captain has been shot, requesting immediate backup and a med squad." That was all it took for Kirk to find an opening and kill the squad leader who had requested backup and then the six soldiers behind the leader. Kirk then returned to Cem's side. The red eyes looked up at Kirk with hatred.

"You…" Cem stammered, "My father told you to do this, didn't he?" Cem spat the last part, "I thought Jedi were moral and didn't commit murder."

Kirk's eyes hardened to an emotionless state that even Cem was surprised by, "Your father never told you that I was assigned to the Jedi covert ops because I was a skilled killer."

Cem frowned through his grimace, "I didn't even know the Jedi had such a thing."

Kirk remained impassive, "They don't anymore. It was a choice of the New Republic to disband the squad before the casualties included innocents. I was the only one they couldn't recall."

"Because you'd already killed someone you shouldn't have?" Cem asked with a wry smile. "I'm shocked that anyone so noble could have such blood stained hands."

Kirk didn't move, "Will you go back to the Chiss Alliance?"

Cem coughed, "You already know the answer to that, Master Dekim…" His head then lolled to the side as he slipped further towards unconsciousness. Kirk fingered the safety on his blaster and then looked up just in time as the two blasts from the now semi-conscious Cem hit Kirk straight in his chest. Kirk staggered and then drew his blaster and bore down on Cem, slicing the Chiss' left arm off along with the blaster. Cem was now fully unconscious.

Kirk breathed heavily, he was losing blood quickly and he couldn't stay awake for too much longer. He looked up as the five new squads of troopers came storming down the hallway. Upon spotting Kirk they opened fire and hit him in the arm and twice on each leg. Kirk deflected the rest and sent the frontline of troopers flying into the ones behind it with the force. They stumbled and Kirk used their brief moment of disorientation to jump into the lift and start up to the floor of the docking bay. Once there he blasted the door lock with his blaster and then limped to his ship. The moment he reached the ramp, more troopers had arrived on that floor and were firing at Kirk. But Kirk was already on his ship and he hit the button to close the ramp on the space his head had been moments before.

Kirk slumped into his chair, the exhaustion of his injuries now sinking in. He set his ship for auto-jump before falling into a force healing trance.

Anakin stared blankly at the two people now before him. "Zekk," He breathed. The dark haired man smiled.

"See, I told you he hadn't forgotten my name." Zekk pointed out to Jacen who shrugged.

"You had a fifty-fifty chance."

"Not even."

"Um, galaxy to Jacen and Zekk," Anakin said. The two turned and grinned simultaneously at Anakin.

"Sorry, Anakin, we had a bet going," Zekk said with a wink. Anakin rolled his eyes. He had to wonder if it was even remotely possible for either of them to grow up. Anakin realized then that the thought was impossible because both Jacen and Zekk were dead.

"Look, Anakin," Jacen said, "Your connection with Zekk had kept him in the void for a while, but you need to sever it in order to let Zekk come back to the galaxy alive."

"You mean I'm the one who's been holding Zekk in the void?" Anakin asked, his stunned expression brought more grins from the two older boys.

"Yup," Zekk said, "Thanks to you and your stubbornness, your force presence got attached to mine and now we have to sever it in order for me to come back completely."

Anakin paused as he slowly processed what Zekk was saying, "What do I have to do?"

Zekk looked around, "This is your mind, Anakin. The only reason I'm here is because your thoughts revolve around me." Two green eyes carefully regarded Anakin's blue.

"So I have to stop thinking about you and attaching myself to anything related to you?" Anakin guessed. Zekk nodded.

"Only for a little while though, I'm close to being able to come back but I can only do that if I'm just myself." Zekk regarded Anakin with a smile, "But I'm happy that your strength helped me to get through this." Then Zekk's expression turned to one of pained longing, "I just hope Jaina'll be okay when I get back."

Anakin's serious tone got the attention of both his brother and Zekk. "I'll protect her until you come back, Zekk." Anakin looked intensely at Zekk, "But once you get back you better take care of her."

"I wouldn't take him lightly either," Jacen put in, giving Anakin a knowing look. The younger man threw Jacen a resentful look, who shrugged in response. Jacen frowned then, directing the look at Zekk, "Zekk, I need you look after Jaina when I'm gone. She needs you. I can't be there, so I want you to promise to the force that you'll never let her get hurt."

Zekk nodded solemnly, "I won't."

Anakin gave Zekk a knowing glance, "I'm holding you to that too, you know."

Zekk groaned, "Why did Jaina have to have two brothers?"

"Because she's got an idiotic boyfriend," Jacen and Anakin said in unison.

Zekk groaned. "Right…"

Anakin looked at Jacen, who was beginning to fade. "Jace, you should talk to Tenel Ka. She'd want to get a last chance to talk to you." Anakin's blue eyes became a deeper shade, a sorrowful night sky blue, "She still loves you, Jace. You should tell her."

Jacen knew what Anakin was talking about, and to Zekk's questioning glance, the older Solo brother gave his famous grin before disappearing completely. Zekk now turned to Anakin. "It's time."

Anakin then began to push all thoughts and memories of Zekk out of his mind and slowly he regained consciousness. His eyes blinked in the morning light and the concerned face of Adrock Antilles.

"You okay, Kid?" He asked the still groggy Anakin, who had pushed himself up then slumped back down.

"Just peachy," Anakin said, his lips then twitched.

Adrock smiled at the same time Anakin did, "Glad to hear it."

_I love you, Jace, _Anakin thought to the silence now surrounding the small field. Only the force responded with its usual silence and flow of life on its usual course.

**A/N- Fin chapter 21! Seriously, why have the hits gone down? It's making me sad. =(**


	23. It Takes All Kinds

**Chapter 22**

**It Takes All Kinds**

_A/N- I am on a roll with my writing for this story so I thought I'd post again before the creative juice runs out for a while (which it does every so often). You know how it goes. _

_I just came back from having dinner at an amazing Japanese restaurant and I ate too much. But since I went to the health club earlier today I think I'm okay. _

_I thought all you Zekk fans would enjoy the last chapter and I believe that I was right, ha, ha. I don't mean to burst anyone's bubble (trust me, I do not relish the prospect of bursting a bubble and feeling the wrath as a result) but Zekk will be a little longer in his official return but the time is winding down. I might change my mind if I get more reviews but I won't make any promises._

_That said I thank all of you who have reviewed so far for your loyalty to this fic and to the "Namesake" series as a whole. You know who you are._

_I was just rereading the chapters and I realized I I'd been focusing on the drama and angst and left out the most important genre: romance. _

_I wonder if anyone caught the joke I made by the names I gave my OCs. The first to review and tell me what it is gets a virtual cookie! _

_This chapter is to make up for all the depressing stuff that's been going on. _

_Enjoy!_

_-Don =)_

* * *

Luke reached out into the force to find that Kirk's presence was ebbing in and out of the force. That only served to make Luke's concern for his former student's life intensify. He gripped hard on the joint-stick of his X-Wing and swerved around a nearby meteor. He flicked the radar and once again the screen didn't detect any nearby ships.

Luke sighed. He was having a hard time understanding Kirk's mentality since the younger Jedi had returned to the Order. Luke himself was aware of Kirk's previous status as a covert ops member and assassin for the Order. It was a time when the New Order had needed to establish itself as a strong protector of the galaxy in order to gain the trust of the rest of the planets, so , the consensus had been to create a team of specially trained Jedi who had nothing to lose and a sense of duty to the Order that was undying. Kirk Dekim was the top student that fit that description and his skills were on the level of a Master. As a result Kirk was promoted officially to the rank of Jedi Master and assigned to go on individual missions around the galaxy to eliminate threats and criminals on the spot. He unquestioningly carried out his orders and as a result many innocents were killed. Any witnesses were also eliminated as per the covert ops program.

For ten years Kirk didn't once return, even after the program had been terminated and all orders recalled, Kirk didn't return any of the New Order's commands or messages. It wasn't long before everyone assumed Kirk Dekim had been killed because he'd cut himself off completely.

When Kirk suddenly came back after Luke had given up looking for his old student, Luke was surprised and saddened to see how fake Kirk's positive attitude was. The Kirk Dekim that had grown up at Yavin 4 was dead and in its place was the hollow shell of a person whose mind and being was confused and shattered. It wasn't any surprise, therefore, that Luke couldn't pinpoint Kirk's presence, it had changed so much that even Luke couldn't recognize it.

Luke's mind suddenly sensed a slight twitch in the force. He then traced the location to the edge of the outer rim. Luke withheld his own misgivings about going there and plotted his jump.

Anakin stepped back, eyeing James carefully as the other boy stood silently in the afternoon sun.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Anakin asked as he lifted his lightsaber. James responded by igniting the one Kirk had lent James.

"Just fight me, okay?" James said as he hefted the blade. Anakin shrugged.

"You should be starting with a stick, James, I don't know if you can deflect as well as you think." Anakin pointed out. James responded by charging at Anakin, who stepped nimbly aside and then struck at James' shoulder. The other's blade met Anakin's and flicked it back towards the user. Anakin grinned.

"I take that back, you're probably more experienced than most students at Yavin 4," He arched his brow, "Or is it just beginner's luck?"

James snorted, "You wish." He then charged in again and swung his blade at Anakin's head, which moved just barely in time, and several hairs were cut from Anakin's neck. He skidded across the grass and then straightened before locking blades with James once more.

Gray eyes met blue as the two slashed back and forth, neither one giving any ground. Anakin felt the sweat trickling down from his forehead. James wasn't exactly an amateur and it made Anakin curious as to how powerful James' force sensitivity was or if James was just a very skilled fighter and paid attention in general to his opponent's movements or both.

Anakin let out a breathy grunt and then caught James' unawares for a second and bowled the other boy over with the force before the violet blade flicked to James' neck, ending the sparring match.

Tahiri watched with a deep scowl on her features. She'd been reluctant to let Anakin fight after just waking up from what had been a trying mind battle. Anakin had assured her several times that there wasn't any threat to his health and that the only reason he was unconscious was because he'd been talking to Zekk, Tahiri remained defiantly unconvinced.

Anakin turned his head as he sensed her disapproval. His blue eyes narrowed then brightened. "If you're so worried why don't you just join me?" He said loud enough for everyone to hear. Tahiri twitched. He was pulling her leg.

"Forget it, I'm not prancing around like an idiot." She answered. Anakin shrugged.

"Your loss," He gave her a mischeivious wink, "I can tell everyone on Yavin 4 that you chickened out of a sparring match."

Tahiri was on her feet faster than a jawa on a speeder bike and drew her lightsaber as she stomped over to where Anakin was standing.

"Get your lightsaber out, we're fighting _now._" She stated firmly and gave Anakin a glare that he wasn't likely to forget.

"I'll wait inside," James said and backed away from the two as Tahiri's green eyes grew steadily more furious. Anakin lifted his violet blade and crossed it with Tahiri's before she jumped forward, sending Anakin flying backwards. He caught himself by crouching and then pushed himself off his back foot and locked blades with Tahiri once more.

She wasn't through though. In fact Tahiri was as far from being finished as Anakin had ever seen her. The energy she put into each attack and parry was enough to bowl Anakin to the ground through sheer will power. He staggered for a second after she slammed her blue blade against Anakin's. Then he came back with a fervor that caused sparks to leap from the blades.

He then jerked his lightsaber back and back flipped a few times before giving Tahiri a challenging lift of his eyebrow. That was all it took for Tahiri to go ballistic. She charged with the force channeling through her legs and arms to the point where Anakin could feel the energy pulsing in the air around both of them. She didn't stop and as a result sent Anakin crashing to the ground about five feet back. He looked up to see the blue blade at his throat.

"Who's scared?" She arched her brow. He shook his head.

"I wasn't being serious-" he winced as he touched his right arm, "Ow." The fire and competitive nature left Tahiri as she noticed Anakin gripping his arm.

"Let me see that," She said, moving the hand that covered Anakin's arm. She grimaced as she saw that there was a fair gash from where she'd struck him during her intense attacks. "Why didn't you tell me I'd hit you?"

He smiled, "Because you were having too much fun," He shrugged, "Besides, it's not serious."

"Your idea of serious is you being dead," Tahiri muttered and then helped Anakin to his feet. "Come on, I want to treat that," She then half lead and half dragged Anakin by his uninjured arm to the ship, where she sat him down in his room while she went to get the med-pack from the closet.

When she returned Anakin was staring blankly at the wall. Tahiri noted this and immediately guessed it had nothing to do with his being hurt. "Here, hold out your arm." She pulled out the cleaning salves as Anakin relinquished his arm for her inspection. Tahiri cleaned it and continued to give Anakin occasional concerned glances.

"You're wondering why I'm staring into space," Anakin stated since he'd already felt her question through their bond.

"I figured that you'd tell me when you were ready," She replied as she finished cleaning his wound and began to wrap it in a bandage.

"I saw Jacen while I was unconscious," Anakin stated slowly. "And Zekk," Tahiri paused in her wrapping to give Anakin a contemplative but patient look. "They were the ones trying to get into my mind."

Tahiri's expression looked relieved for a moment but turned back to its former state of concern as she felt Anakin's sadness at his own comment. "He's coming back," Anakin's voice broke as he continued, "But I couldn't- I couldn't bring Jacen back." He bit his lip and scrunched up his face to keep from letting out the tears he could feel forming in his eyes. He felt the soft feel of clothing on his face as Tahiri wiped his eyes with her sleeve.

"It's okay, Anakin, we need to let it out sometimes," She brought her arms around his waist as he let go of all the emotions that had been bottled up since Jacen's death and Uldir's betrayal. All of it came spilling out and Tahiri didn't let go, even when he was done she held on. She only let go enough to look Anakin in the face and to kiss his tear stained face.

He smiled at her and reached out to touch her cheek with his fingers. "You're really amazing, you know that?"

Tahiri let out an embarrassed laugh, "Oh, stop, Anakin, you're full of nerf steak."

Anakin shook his head. "And you're selling yourself short," He straightened as he found his full voice. "I've never lied to you about what I thought when it came to how I felt and I won't start by lying to you now." He sighed because he knew how ridiculously corny his words sounded. _Here goes everything, _"Listen, Tahiri, I'm not sure if I can say this right but…"

He smiled and the light in his blue eyes glittered for second, "I'm always teasing you and sometimes I don't say exactly what I mean to, but I want to remind you that you have been and always will be the reason I'm sitting here and asking myself what in the force I did to deserve to be with you." He sighed, "So I'm asking you what I can do to make it clear to you that I'm not joking when I say that you're the most brilliant and spontaneously beautiful person I've ever met."

Tahiri blinked and then stared at Anakin blankly. She was stunned, no, shocked, in the best possible way by his words. Anakin was trying to prove that he thought she was the greatest person in Anakin's mind. "I don't know, you're making me sound a lot better than I actually am, Anakin." She pointed out. He raised an eyebrow.

"Am I?" He smiled at her and ran his hand over her hair, causing Tahiri to shiver a little with the tender feeling of Anakin's brief touch.

"You do tend to embellish things," She said with a smile. He nodded.

"Which is why I'm asking you what you need me to do to prove that what I'm saying is one hundred percent true," Anakin watched as Tahiri rested her head against his shoulder. He brought his arms up and around her and for a few minutes they just sat there in the silence of the room.

"Nothing," She answered with a glittering smile. Anakin obviously didn't think that was enough because he pulled away from her. "What?"

He sighed. "I guess I'm going to have to try to improvise." Anakin then leaned in and kissed Tahiri, hard. She was a little taken aback at his sudden impulsiveness but then returned the gesture. They broke the kiss and then rested their foreheads against each other and in the process their noses bopped against one another.

Anakin started laughing first and then Tahiri joined him. Anakin leaned over again and kissed Tahiri first on her nose and then on her neck. Tahiri gave him a strange look to which Anakin gave her a grin that Tahiri deemed 'too adorable.' Anakin then flopped back against the bed, watching Tahiri with passionate blue eyes.

"I have something now," She said. Anakin's gaze never left her.

"Anything," He stated simply.

"This," Tahiri said and then lay back next to him, her head on his chest. Anakin wrapped his arm around her and brought her as close to him as was possible.

"Anakin?"

He turned his head to face Tahiri's, "Yeah?"

"You're the one who's amazing."

He laughed, "Let's call it even." Tahiri closed her eyes as she returned her head to his chest.

"Mmm," She felt herself drifting off to the sound of Anakin's heartbeat and to the gentle touch of Anakin's hand as it stroked her hair in a soothing rhythm.

James stepped into the empty kitchen and took a seat on the bench. It was off balance because of Tahiri's outburst the previous night. One that James now admitted was duly deserved on his part. He got up and then poured himself a cup of what was now cold coffee.

He returned to the table and placed the cup down a few inches in front of him before he proceeded to lie his own head on the table, his arms folded underneath it. He heard the screeching of a bench as it was pushed out and glanced up as he heard the same warm voice that had tied his head in knots.

"Mind if I join you?" Wyn asked. James nodded silently. She obliged and regarded him carefully.

"You've been acting a little differently today," She said after a minute. He raised his eyes and rested his head on his hand.

"Yeah?" His voice was softly subdued.

Wyn nodded, "I don't think you would normally ask Anakin to spar with you, let alone spar with lightsabers."

Gray eyes scanned Wyn's face. "I kind of just did it on impulse."

"Huh," She said, folding her own arms over one another on the table. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you're on the verge of a personal epiphany."

Wyn nearly fell off the bench when she saw James' wry, but still genuine, smile. "You're not far off."

Wyn felt his gaze on her and shifted a little. "Oh," Was all she managed since his current behavior was nothing like anything she'd seen from him. He wasn't trying to insult Wyn, push her away, or throw her off. Finally Wyn spoke again, "I was thinking about what you said last night."

He regarded her thoughtfully, "Which bit?"

She met his eyes, "The part where you said you couldn't love yourself."

"That," James said firmly, "Is the truth."

Wyn sighed, "Is it?"

"I just said it was, do you think I'd make it up?" James asked with a frown.

"No, I believed you," She replied, "I just didn't understand why."

James drank some of his coffee and decided it definitely tasted better cold than hot in his opinion. "What's not to understand? I've got no redeeming qualities, I'm a clone, I abandoned my family and let them die and I'm a former member of the Peace Brigade," He put the cup down and his cool gray eyes stared hard at Wyn, "What really gets me is that you actually care."

"Why, because you prefer that everyone treats you like shit?" Wyn questioned sardonically. James twitched. Her words had struck a nerve to silence James. "Look, James, nobody's perfect and you're no different. We all have things to be ashamed of and a past to hide behind us. But that's no reason why we have to go at the galaxy alone."

James grunted, "You shouldn't waste your time telling me that. I'm a lost cause."

Wyn's eyes flared as her fist hit the table, spilling some coffee, "And I'm telling you you're not."

"Wyn-" James began.

"No, James, I'm not listening to any more excuses," She said and fixated him with her harshest stare yet and only relented when she saw the hesitation in James' eyes. "I know you want to say something, so say it."

"I can't-"

"Wrong," Wyn corrected, "Won't. You _won't_ take a chance but you can."

James sighed, he hated that she could see right through him. "Fine, you want to know what I wanted to say?" He demanded. Wyn blinked, obviously surprised that he was going to say it after only a short amount of time. "I wanted to tell you that I'm not the only one who's got some accepting to do."

Wyn stared at James for a second. "What do you mean?"

"Exactly what I said," James said, "You're always running away from the path your father tried to lay out for you but you never stopped to think about what you wanted to do."

Wyn's jaw slipped open a little. Had she really been that transparent? Apparently so because James had hit the nail on the head with his statement and he wasn't done even.

"You try too hard to avoid fitting in so much that you're no more unique than anyone else in a uniform," James continued, "Why don't you let yourself decide anything?"

Wyn frowned right back at James, "Why don't you like yourself?" She countered.

"I have my reasons."

"Well, so do I," Wyn retorted, "But I'm actually willing to give a new life a chance, are you?"

James fell silent and stayed that way for five minutes. Wyn tried to stare at him but James avoided her gaze. "Fine, be stubborn." She snapped and got up and was at the door before James was beside her, his eyes on the floor. He chewed on his lip for a second before looking Wyn in the eye.

"What?" She demanded and tried to walk out, but not before James' caught hold of her arm and turned her around.

"Give me time," He said slowly. "I'm not going to move forward right away, but I'm trying."

Wyn nodded as his grip slipped from her arm. "Is that all you wanted to say?" Wyn waited after James shook his head and when he remained silent she looked at him with concern, "James?"

James wasn't really sure what was going through his head but all he knew is that the feeling of his lips against Wyn's was nice. Wyn's expression was one of surprise when James broke and started away, trying to hide his burning cheeks.

Luke hurriedly opened the door to Kirk's ship and sealed it behind him. "Kirk!" Luke called as he saw Kirk's form slumped on the floor. Luke knelt over his friend and felt his pulse. The force trance was all that was keeping Kirk alive at that moment.

Luke clicked on his comlink and another voice crackled through, "Hammer."

"Kennth? It's Luke."

Kennth paused, "Luke? You sound like you're in a pitch. What's wrong?"

"I'm not, but Kirk is, he needs a medical squad ready for when he gets back to Coruscant, can you arrange that?"

Luke heard Kennth's sigh, "I hope that you get here before it comes to a matter of time, Luke."

Luke grimaced, "Same here, but it may already be at that point."

"I'll get it set for you, but hurry up," Kennth said, "If it's as bad as you say, Kirk may not make it through the night when he gets here."

Luke nodded even though he knew that Kennth couldn't see Luke's gesture. "I will. Skywalker out." Luke cut off the connection and then put his helmet back on as he went to the back of Kirk's ship to grab the cable to pull his X-Wing. After going out and pulling his X-Wing close enough to attach the cable to both the X-Wing and Kirk's ship, Luke powered up the engines and plug in the coordinates for Coruscant.

"Hang in there, Kirk," Luke said as the ship entered the hyperjump and the stars turned to lines.

Leia sighed as she sat in the chair next to Jaina's bedside. She had already been in a coma for close to two months. Leia was on pins and needles over the risk of Jaina never waking up. Leia knew in her heart that a part of Jaina didn't want to wake up at all. That part of Jaina made it clear to Leia that the life Jaina would wake up to would be one of extreme loneliness and tiring days of simply just living an empty existence. Leia could feel some of Jaina's cascading emotions.

Leia herself had lost her adoptive and biological family but Leia could only imagine what it would be like to lose someone who was half of her own being, someone who was practically Leia herself.

Jacen had been half of Jaina's heart. Without him Jaina's entire being couldn't push through the toughest situations. Leia only knew some of what that felt like. Luke was like that but since Leia hadn't known Luke for most of her life, that bond wasn't as strong as it could have been.

Jacen, her son, her precious baby and a huge part of her life, was gone. Images of Jacen when he was a newborn flooded into Leia's mind. The memory of the small infant as he dozed off while Jaina still breastfed was both heartening and painfully reminiscent of a time that was long gone and a point in Leia's life that couldn't be relived except in memory.

The smile on Jacen's face as he captured his first animal and cared for it, the determination as Jacen faced the ruthless leader of the Shadow Academy, Brakiss, and protected Jaina. The loyalty he showed when the galaxy was turning its back on the Jedi and the loving and warm heart he'd opened up to let Tenel Ka inside. He'd left behind two newly created lives. He had proven that the Jedi could be a part of anyone's planet, even Hapes. Jacen had moved the unmovable, and he had held on to even the most hopeless situations with fierce vigor.

Nothing was impossible for Jacen Solo. He had always done exactly what he felt was right and what he believed was the path he should follow. He had died with that belief in his heart, Leia knew. She knew that Jacen's death was because Jacen refused to let anything happen to the new life he'd created for himself and for Tenel Ka. To the very end Jacen was the embodiment of what Leia and Han had fought so long to keep alive.

Leia closed her eyes. She wanted so much to see Jacen once more but wanting to undo what he'd decided to do was wrong. No, both Jacen's death and the life that would have been lost were wrong. Everything about the situation was wrong. Tenel Ka had lost someone that shouldn't have died at all and Jaina was suffering from a pain that no one should have to go through.

"Leia?" Han said as he touched her shoulder. Leia opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Oh, Han," Leia said and without warning the tears came out of her eyes. Han sat down next to Leia and hugged her.

"I'm here, Princess."

A low moan turned Leia and Han's attention to the bed. Jaina's eyes fluttered open a fraction and stared drearily at the ceiling.

"Jaina," Han breathed and moved towards the bed with Leia behind him. "Jaina?"

"Dad, where's Jacen?" Jaina asked. Han's chest tightened. "We're here, Sweetie," He said soothingly and grasped his daughter's hand.

"Jacen…" Jaina muttered before falling asleep. Han bit down hard on his lip until blood flowed. Leia averted her gaze, she couldn't look at Jaina, who was out of her coma but was awake only to feel the emptiness that was sure to come crashing down on her head. Jaina's coma was the shock and the acceptance would probably be a long time in coming.

Leia knew because she wasn't accepting it herself. Some part of Leia wanted to pretend it didn't happen and part of her actually did think that. Nothing made sense any more. Nothing so painful could ever make sense to Leia.

Luke watched as the cart bearing Kirk's unconscious form raced down the hall. Kirk's breathing aid was pumping oxygen into the fading body and the patient's mind was completely blank. He was in shock.

Luke sighed deeply and sat down on one of the chairs in the waiting room. He closed his eyes and used a calming technique. A familiar presence entered the waiting room and Luke's eyes opened.

"Han," Luke said and his expression became sullen after seeing Han's expression, "Is Jaina okay?"

Han nodded, "She woke up just a while ago and she's sleeping off the pain. Leia's taking it hard." Han explained and took the seat next to Luke's.

"What about you?" Luke asked.

Han sighed, "I'm better off than Leia is," he paused for a second to stuff his hands in his pockets, "But I'm still not over the denial of it all."

Luke regarded Han carefully, "Han, if Jaina hasn't accepted what's happened, she's not going to want to go back to anything that reminds her of Jacen," Luke met Han's eyes.

"What do you mean?" Han asked. Luke's expression became severe.

"She will most likely," Luke said slowly, "Give up being a Jedi."

Han sat forward and gave Luke a fierce stare, "Give it up? Why?"

Luke shook his head, "It's a guess, Han. But I'm thinking that Jaina won't want to associate with anything that reminds her of Jacen or of Zekk. That includes being a Jedi."

"But to give that up, what else is there for her?" Han asked. "That's been Jaina's entire life. Our lives have revolved around Jedi training. I don't know what she'd do."

"I know," Luke said with a sigh, "And I sincerely hope that I'm wrong, but we have to face the facts, Han," Luke said firmly, "Jaina lost the two most important people in her life and both of them were Jedi."

Han's hands gripped his knees and his face contorted. Luke put a hand on Han's shoulder. "I'm going to do all I can to keep her from falling apart. Call me when she wakes up again," Luke said and stood up, "I'm going to get some sleep." He glanced at Han, "You should too."

Han nodded wearily. "Yeah, you're right."

Tahiri stirred and turned her head to look at Anakin, who was sleeping soundly next to her. Her mouth curled into a content smile. He was dozing with the most peaceful look that Tahiri had seen on Anakin's face in a long time. It was good to see that he'd finally managed to sleep straight through a few hours without being woken up by a nightmare, even if he was sleeping during the hours of daylight.

Tahiri started to move away from the bed when Anakin's hand grasped hers. "Stay," He mumbled. She frowned at him with a wry smile.  
"I thought you were sleeping," She stated.

"I was until you moved," He gave her a smile despite that his eyes were closed. Tahiri sighed. Anakin could be pretty high maintenance sometimes. But it was worth it in every way.

"Alright, I'll stay, but only for another hour." Tahiri said, giving in to Anakin's smiling face.

"Good," Anakin said softly and as Tahiri rested her head down on his chest he leaned over and kissed her briefly on the lips before going back to sleep. Tahiri snuggled up against him and shrugged. _Well, maybe two hours won't hurt._

James found himself unable to stop blushing. He was more than embarrassed and frustrated at himself: he was dumbfounded at his own actions. He'd _actually_ gone and _kissed _Wyn. He'd only intended to talk to her, but something made him go much further than a simple statement.

"Ugh," James laid his face in his hand and let out another groan. He wouldn't be able to look anyone on the ship in the face ever again, especially Wyn. She was probably mad at him for doing that. "I think I need to throw myself off the face of this planet." James muttered.

"Well, that wouldn't be very productive now would it?" James started at the sound of the last person he wanted to talk to right now. _Kriff it, why now?_

"Go ahead and laugh at me," James said. Wyn sat down on the bed next to him.

"Why would I laugh at you?" She asked, her voice soft and confused.

"Because I…" James turned even redder. Wyn reached over and grasped his hand.

"I'm not mad at you, James," She said, "I'm just surprised."

James looked over at Wyn, "Did I do the wrong thing?"

Wyn shrugged, "That depends," She said thoughtfully, "Did you want to kiss me?"

James almost swallowed his words as he spoke, "Yeah."

Wyn smiled, "Then you've got nothing to worry about." She then stopped, "Except that now we've got to figure out what we're doing from now on."

James finally looked at Wyn head on, "What we're doing?"

She laughed, "You didn't really give this that much thought, did you?" He shook his head.

"Uh, I didn't even plan to kiss you, all I planned was to talk to you."

"That's usually what happens. You surprise yourself sometimes." Wyn replied in a neutral tone.

"Well, that's somewhat reassuring," James said.

"That still leaves what you want to do from here," Wyn pointed out. James thought for a second.

"You're sure you were okay with me doing that?" James asked. Wyn nodded.

"I am. If that was your way of asking me out, I'd say yes." Wyn regarded him as James stared at the floor before lifting his gaze.

"It was, but I'm not sure I'm capable of being a good boyfriend," He gave her a shaky laugh.

"Well, everyone has to start somewhere," Wyn said, grasping James' hand in hers. He looked at her. "And I'd like to start mine with you."

James' eyes widened, "Are you sure?"

Wyn gave his hand a quick squeeze, "Positive."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know where to start though." He met her gaze.

"You'll figure it out." Wyn pointed out and then kissed James on his cheek, which as a result turned bright red. "You're a really shy type, it's cute."

James coughed to cover his embarrassment before he returned Wyn's kiss, but his was on her lips. "I think you're great too, Wyn."

**A/N- Ah, fluff. It's so heartwarming to write. Just to let everyone who is reading this know: I am going to see if the hit count/review count goes up, if it doesn't within the next few chapters I am going to PM the readers who have reviewed and second ONLY them my chapters by email. So hit and review! =)**


	24. Whatever Will Be, Will Be

**Chapter 23**

**Whatever Will Be, Will Be**

_A/N- Another update??? *mock gasps* _

_**Again, a warning about the hit and review count: IF THE REVIEW COUNT/HIT COUNT (but mostly the hit count) DOES NOT GO UP FROM WHAT IT IS NOW I WILL ONLY SEND THE STORY'S UPDATES TO THOSE READERS WHO ARE CONSISTENT AND LOYAL REVIEWERS. **_Whatever it takes, if you wish for me to resume posting on FFN as usual, get more people to read/review this story in addition to yourself and do it within the next ten chapters. If the hit count for each chapter only remains at 5 hits max with the occasional review I will only send the story to those who have reviewed already.

Seriously, Guys, all I'm asking is for you to put in a little time to reviewing and getting more readers hooked on this story (I've put my time and love into this story, I'm only asking for a little exchange, that's all).

On a happier note, I've got some awesome stuff planned for this story and the story is only going to get better in my opinion so stay tuned (even though this isn't a TV show).

Best,

-Don =)

* * *

Another day. Jaina leaned her head on her knees. After being in the hospital for another month and a half since she'd woken up, at her parents' insistence, Jaina was now in the Solo family's now empty apartment. Except for Jaina, Leia, and Han, and occasionally the Skywalkers, the apartment was lonely and quiet. Jaina listened to the soft chirping and squalling of the animals outside. A brisk breeze touched Jaina's cheek and rustled the sheets around her waist. Jaina slipped out of the bed and her feet touched down on the cool wood plank floor.

She moved silently across the apartment until she reached the carpeting and stopped at the doorway of one of the rooms. Jaina gently pushed the door in enough for her to walk inside and stood silently staring at the empty cages and containers that used to hold the animals from the abundant menagerie that Jacen had had. She'd cried enough while at the hospital, out of sight of her parents and doctors of course, but now she just felt the numb loneliness of the space where Jacen used to be.

The bond was now cut off permanently and there seemed to be a constant static in her heart and mind. No matter how far into the force Jaina reached out she wouldn't be able to reach Jacen anymore. He had gone where she couldn't follow, no matter how intrepid she might be.

Jaina knew that no matter how much time passed and no matter how many bridges she crossed to move forward, she'd always miss the sound of Jacen's laugh and his grin that was so like Han's. Or how Jacen would make jokes that didn't make any sense no matter how long Jaina thought about it. Normally such memories would make Jaina laugh a little and shake her head at the silly attitude Jacen had towards life, but now she just felt a sense of resign.

A sigh escaped her from the very bottom of Jaina's chest. "Well, it's over." She said to herself. For once there really wasn't anything Jaina could do to undo what had happened and it hurt. It killed Jaina to think that Jacen's death was out of her hands and that she'd been away when he'd needed her the most. She could have prevented his death, she could have stopped all the horrible events that came after, she could have ended the biting solitude that Jaina knew would come crashing down on her.

Jaina stepped across the floor and past all the cages and containers to the small futon that was in the very back of the room. Jacen hadn't minded sleeping on the floor as long as he got to have his animals around him. Jacen was always surrounded by life and thus surrounded by a light that no one, not even Jaina, could match.

Since it was so early in the morning no one was likely to notice that Jaina was out of bed and in Jacen's room. The place had been avoided since his death but it was the only room that felt good to be in. It felt like Jacen, she sensed his love of the room around her. It was amazing how much of an imprint someone could leave on a room.

Or on a person, Jaina thought as she sat down on the futon and began to run her fingers over the sheets, and then traced the blanket's woven patterns.

"_How many stormtroopers does it take to screw in a light bulb?"_

"_Well? What are we waiting for?"_

"_Jaina, I have a favor to ask,"_

"_Zekk likes you."_

"_Always." _

Jaina laid back on the futon, the warmth from the last time Jacen had slept there was already almost gone.

_Who am I without him? _Jaina added to the series of words and sentences that Jacen had spoken to her over time. She didn't know and probably wouldn't know for a long time.

Anakin shifted his head slightly against the grass as he lay outside the ship. After some thought, he'd decided to stay on the random planet they'd landed on a little over a month ago. With his hands behind his head and the cool breeze gently caressing his cheek, Anakin felt at ease for a change. That was probably due more to the fact that he'd given up trying to make himself heal the gaping wound that Jacen had left. Tahiri too had simply decided to just leave Anakin alone to deal with his grief on his own. He'd even told her himself that that was what he really needed, and sensing the truth through the force, Tahiri had let Anakin go outside to be by himself for a few hours. It was nighttime so Tahiri was going to sleep anyways, so she relented when she saw how distressed he was.

Anakin didn't really know how long he could stand to distance himself before it all began to be too much. When he was with the rest of the group on the ship he felt too suffocated by being around others, and when he was alone he felt impending sadness because being by himself was a subtle reminder of how everyone in his family probably felt right now. Especially Jaina, Anakin could never even begin to imagine how torn up she was right now, no matter how close Anakin could have grown to Jacen, it was a bond Anakin would never understand. He watched as a cloud changed its shape and Anakin almost wanted to imagine it into the shape of Jacen's face, as stupid as that sounded inside his mind.

"Solitude is only as good as the company of the silence around you," Anakin didn't turn at the sound of Gi-Nego's voice. The Ewok often showed up at random points and didn't expect much response as a result.

"I guess it's pretty good company then," Anakin replied, his voice still carrying the heaviness of his deep seated anguish and helplessness. Gi-Nego came over so that the small creature was standing in front of Anakin.

"You are not avoiding everyone, are you?" Gi-Nego asked. Anakin shook his head.

"No, just thinking," He let out a ragged breath.

"Sometimes the mind can be harmful if overused. It is often best to just let things lie until it is clear what you must do," The Jedi Master said gently.

Anakin nodded, "I know. It's just that I don't feel like any of it will go away."

"The pain? The bond you lost?" Gi-Nego shook his head, "None of it will."

"I meant the feeling that I'll always get to have something that Jacen didn't," Anakin turned his head so Gi-Nego couldn't see his face as it contorted. "I'll probably get to see my life to its end and Jacen only got to see the beginning."

Gi-Nego leaned heavily on his cane, "Yes, there will always be a feeling of selfishness that we despise in ourselves. It is common that we will take our long lived lives for granted until the time comes when someone around us or we ourselves die."

Anakin turned his head to look _up_ at the Ewok, a strange sensation. "I guess that's why I fight so hard to protect what I do have."

Gi-Nego nodded, "We all do in our own ways. Your brother, if I am not mistaken, gave his life for the same reasons that you have." With a small nod in Anakin's direction, the Ewok departed, and at the same time Tahiri came running out of the ship and stopped when she saw where Anakin was before rushing over. Anakin sat up slightly only to be pummeled back to the grass.

"Tahiri?" He felt a strange déjà vu from when he'd passed out when they first came to this planet.

"Anakin," When Tahiri continued her death grip around him without saying another word, Anakin decided he needed to step in. Something felt off about her sudden impulsiveness.

"Tahiri, what's wrong?" He asked quietly enough so that only she could hear. She let out a soft sniffle and Anakin gently pushed her away so he could look into her green eyes. "Tell me."

She let out an elongated sigh before finally speaking, "I had a vision."

Anakin stiffened. "When?"

"About an hour ago," She said, "I tried going back to sleep after that but I couldn't."

Anakin regarded her sternly, "Then why didn't you come to get me?"

She sighed again, "Because," Her green eyes looked indecisive as her force presence was indicating she was, "You needed time alone. I didn't want to bother you."

Anakin grasped one of her hands, "Tahiri, you know you're never a bother. Especially if something's wrong, you need to tell me."

She looked down, "Well, it was about the past, so I didn't know what to do about it."

Anakin stared at her for a moment, "The vision was about the past?"

Tahiri nodded. "About the Yuuzhan Vong war," She paused a minute and Anakin continued to hold her hand gently, but firmly enough to comfort her. "It didn't go the way it actually had for us."

"Us?" Anakin questioned.

"You and me." Tahiri said, said averting her gaze.

Anakin felt an extreme sense of fear and misgiving from Tahiri that was strong enough for anyone who had an ounce of force in them to feel it clearly. He almost didn't voice his next question, "What happened?"

Tahiri clasped her other hand around Anakin's free hand. "Well, it went like the war had for us, except when I got captured by the shapers… they actually changed me completely instead of only a little bit. I almost killed you because of it, Anakin." She shivered and Anakin's concern grew. He couldn't imagine how such a thing could have happened… unless…

"You went after me and rescued me, but I was different, Anakin. It didn't stop there," She continued. "When we went on the Mykyr mission, it was a trap. The Yuuzhan Vong knew we were there. They tried to cut us off but you made sure that everyone got out alive, only…" She grimaced, "You didn't."

Anakin watched Tahiri for a minute. She was shaken by this horrific alternative to the events of the Yuuzhan Vong war. "Anakin, you- you- died and left me on my own! I saw what happened because of that: I went to the dark side and I did everything you would have been ashamed of me doing. I was a failure as a Jedi."

Anakin didn't say anything. He was still trying to process what she was describing. It was an alternative where he'd been reckless, and died because of it. The result was everyone losing their sense of direction, including Tahiri. She'd still loved him, long after he'd died, she'd never let go of him.

Anakin knew what she'd been so afraid. If Tahiri had suddenly died, Anakin would be devastated out of his mind. "It's not real, Tahiri. It's just a vision of something that never came to be." He brought her trembling form into his arms and felt the intense feelings as Tahiri wrapped her arms around him and squeezed his back. Even though he'd told Tahiri it was only a vision, Anakin knew that because of who he was and that outcome could have very well been the truth had the mission gone differently.

"I'm not going anywhere, Tahiri. I'm here, okay?" He said and sent reassurance through the force.

"Promise?"

"I promise."

He felt her shift uneasily, "You didn't keep your promise to me in the vision, Anakin. You told me you'd come back to finish our kiss, but you never did."

Anakin knew where her real fear was and it wasn't completely unfounded. He'd gone off and almost died more than five times, and even gone into the void. It only seemed like he'd made it through because the force needed him for something that Anakin didn't really know about, at least not yet.

Anakin was glad that Tahiri couldn't see his face because it was now so pained that even in the dark it was clear that everything she was saying was hurting him as much as it had her. "I won't break it. Just stay with me all the time and I won't ever break it." He then briefly thought about the reason why he'd died without her. Tahiri hadn't mentioned it yet, but he was getting some images through their bond. Anakin starting to kiss her but Tahiri saying that he had to come back to finish the kiss, and Anakin promising to do so. Tahiri let him go because she trusted him to do what he could to help his siblings; it was something Anakin had to do.

"Anakin, if you'd tried to help Jacen survive when he was killed, you might have been too," She said desperately, "Just like in the vision."

"I…" Anakin suddenly felt the strange hopelessness that Tahiri had been sending out for a long time too. There wasn't anything Anakin could have done to help Jacen, not without risking Anakin dying instead, or in addition to Jacen. Or if Tahiri had been there too, she could have added to the casualty list. There was simply no easy way out of the situation without loss.

"Would you still go to save them, even if that meant you'd die?" Tahiri asked.

"What?" Anakin said, breaking his train of thought. "Tahiri-"

"Answer the question, Anakin." She cut in.

He paused and then shook his head, "No, not without you. If I had to go, I'd want you with me. But that's not really my choice."

Tahiri scowled as she pulled away to glare at Anakin, "Then whose choice is it?"

"Yours," Anakin replied. "Your life is yours to choose what to do with it."

Her expression softened at the realization that Anakin wasn't telling her he didn't have the choice not to die, but that he wanted her to decide for herself what to do if it came to the decision between life and death, if it came to choosing between living without Anakin or dying alongside him in a fight to save the lives of Jacen and Jaina.

"Do you really want to throw your life away just because I wouldn't be in it?" Anakin asked with his blue eyes serious. He placed his hands on her shoulders. "There's always a chance that something like that might happen in the future. That's probably why you had the vision. Do you really want to just toss your life away?"

Tahiri sighed, "Anakin, I can't believe you're making me say this, but," She stared at him and lightly touched his cheek with her hand. "Life without you isn't life at all to me. The vision, if anything, made that abundantly clear to me."

Anakin felt his chest clench and unclench itself, "I feel the same."

"I know," Tahiri said, "You're always trying so hard and almost getting killed to keep me alive so much that you didn't stop to think about whether or not I'd be happy living without you there in the first place," She kissed him tenderly on the lips and then raised an eyebrow when he didn't respond in kind. "What?"

"You realize what you're saying, right?" He asked as his own brow arched.

"Dummy! Do I have to say everything out loud?" She started getting a little agitated to the point where Anakin was too surprised to form an articulate response. "Anakin, I'm not kidding about this. We're either in this together or we're not. You can't just up and leave someone after you've said you'd stay with them, it just doesn't work that way."

"Or it shouldn't." Anakin corrected but fell silent again when Tahiri's glare pierced him. She was now standing a few feet away from him instead of next to him.

"Anakin, do you understand what I'm saying or not?"

He sighed and ran his hand through his hand, "I do understand. That's why I'm asking you." Tahiri blinked.

"Huh?" Tahiri stared at Anakin. "What do you mean?"

Anakin sighed again, "Tahiri, you need to understand that the reason why I don't want you to think that way is because _I'm _not okay with you throwing your life away because of me. You're too important to everyone around you to risk losing you on a reckless whim."

Tahiri snorted, "I could say the same to you."

Anakin shook his head, "If I died, you'd have people to take care of you. But if you died, I wouldn't feel like everything's as it should be."

Tahiri groaned, "Why are we even having this conversation?"

Anakin smiled wanly, "I think I know."

Tahiri stared at him and then folded her arms across her chest, "Okay, spit it out, what's the big secret?"

Anakin laughed, "There's no secret, Tahiri. You're just a lot more loved than you give yourself credit for." Tahiri gave Anakin a wide eyed stare, and then her usual smile curled onto her lips.

"You're a big lovable idiot, that's why." She answered. He chuckled.

"That's fine by me." Anakin said with a grin and then closed the gap between them before kissing her without any hint of hesitation… and Tahiri didn't mind it one bit.

James made his way through the ship, trying to get a handle of his emotions, which were now on a rollercoaster ride since he and Wynn started dating. James could never be sure what to do or when to do it. Kissing was bad enough to time and Wynn wasn't exactly giving him any hints, which only served to frustrate James and make him even antsier than he already was about the whole situation. She continually assured him that being insecure about dating was "normal" but James was beginning to wonder if Wynn actually knew what the kriff she was talking about since she'd never date anyone either.

James stood with his head against the wall of the hallway for a moment before he started hitting his head against it. A clack of footsteps echoed through the ship and Anakin and Tahiri entered the hallway only to stop and stare at James. All it took was one look from James that told Anakin and Tahiri everything.

"Wow, you really don't know what to do?" Tahiri asked. Anakin raised his eyebrow at her. Their beginning wasn't exactly smooth either.

"I feel really stupid asking you this, Anakin," James said, "But can I talk to you about… dating?" Tahiri blinked twice and Anakin exchanged a look with her.

"Hey, come on, Guys, please?" James said in a desperate tone. Anakin nodded.

"Sure, let's go to my room," Anakin answered with a smile. He nodded to Tahiri. "I'll let you know when we're done talking."

"I didn't want to participate anyways," Tahiri said and started towards her own room. Anakin watched her go before gesturing for James to follow Anakin. Once inside Anakin's room, both boys took a seat on Anakin's bed. Before Anakin could ask anything, James started.

"So, do you and Tahiri kiss a lot?" James asked. Anakin took a moment to gather himself before he responded.

"Well, not all the time, but we do we can," Anakin replied, not really sure how to answer such a random and forward question.

"Sorry," James said, sensing with his own force sensitivity Anakin's awkward feelings towards the question. "It's just…." James sighed, "I have no idea what Wynn is thinking. So I'm always wondering if I should be kissing her or just talking." He slumped with his head in his hands, "Even the talking is confusing because I have no idea what to say to her."

Anakin smiled and couldn't help but laugh, "James, you just have to talk like you normally do."

James glanced up, "Before I was extremely obnoxious and secluded."

Anakin shrugged, "You were scared. It's okay to be that way. Wynn accepted you, didn't she?" James nodded. "Well, then you've got nothing to worry about. If she wants to date you, then she's probably open to hearing what you're thinking. I get the feeling she's just waiting for you to open up and tell her yourself."

James gave a hollow laugh, "Easy for you to say. You've had a pretty easy going relationship."

Anakin fixated a wry smile on his face, "Not quite."

James raised an eyebrow, "What have you ever had to go through that was tough?"

Anakin clasped his hands between his knees. "Everything," He replied, "Just now Tahiri and I were having an argument."

James looked surprise, "About what?"

"Oh, the usual, my recklessness and how it's going to kill me," Anakin waved his hand. "When someone cares about you, those kinds of things become a routine conversation."

"You sound like a married man," James pointed out with a smirk. Anakin shifted.

"Well, I kind of am."

James stared at Anakin blankly, "You mean you proposed to her already?" Anakin nodded sheepishly.

"Kriff!" James exclaimed, "And she said _yes_?"

"Pretty much," Anakin said with an awkward laugh as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"'Pretty much' he says," James shook his head, "How do you do it?"

Anakin sighed, "It was just something that happened over time. Tahiri and I have been friends since we were kids."

James' eyes widened with comprehension, "Oh, so you were childhood friends. That must have made things easier."

Anakin shrugged, "Not really. It took me a while to realize how I felt and to verbalize it, and even then it wasn't an immediate thing."

"So I'm not behind?" James asked.

"Well, you're just beginning, so it's really up to you and Wynn how fast you want to move. Most likely, you'll both know when you want to get closer and some of the emotional growth will eventually just happen on its own," Anakin stood up, "The best advice I can give is to be honest no matter what it is you have to say." He threw James a significant look, "Because unlike Tahiri, Wynn can't sense what you're thinking through the force."

James nodded silently and then started towards the door. As soon as he opened it, he saw Tahiri outside. "How did she-?" James glanced at Anakin and then back at Tahiri.

"The force, James," Tahiri said with an arched brow. James snorted and then stalked off down the hallway. Tahiri turned to Anakin.

"Was he really asking for advice on dating?"

Anakin nodded, "He wanted some pointers."

"So what'd you tell him?" Tahiri asked, taking a seat on Anakin's bed. He smiled.

"I used the Jedi Master approach."

"So you didn't give him an answer and told him to just figure it out?" Tahiri asked in an amused tone.

"Yup," Anakin said with a broad grin and then used the force to close the door to his room.

"You're evil." Tahiri pointed out.

Anakin smirked, "But that never bothers you."

"I'm used to it," She said with a shrug. Anakin flopped back against the pillows with a meditative expression on his head.

"What?" Tahiri said when she noticed the look wasn't changing.

"I told James that we were engaged," Anakin said, not quite meeting Tahiri's eyes. She sucked in her breath.

"And?" She asked apprehensively, "What did he say?"

Anakin smiled, "He thought I'd used some kind of Jedi trick to win you over." Tahiri snorted.

"Those kinds of things only work on the weak minded."

Anakin continued to smirk knowingly, "I know that," He pointed to himself and then at Tahiri, "You know that," He laughed, "But James doesn't."

"Sometimes I wonder if you have any sense of morality at all." Tahiri said, shaking her head.

"I do, but it's selective," Anakin replied. Tahiri gave him a light punch before lying down next to him.

After a few minutes she turned her head to look at Anakin's face, his eyes were closed but he could still sense her through the force, "Are you okay with me staying here for the rest of the night?"

He opened one eye and gave her a curious look, "Why wouldn't I be?"

Tahiri rubbed her arm nervously, "Well, I thought you'd get bored of being so close to me all the time."

Anakin laughed, "I don't think that'll ever happen, Tahiri." He then pulled her closer and soon enough they were both fast asleep.

"Amazing," James muttered to himself as he saw through the narrow opening that the door had left. "They're always so close to each other."

"I never pegged you for a Peeping Tom, James, but there's something new I learn every day," Wynn's voice made James jump.

"Wynn!" He exclaimed and then lowered his voice, "What're you doing here?"

"I should be asking _you _the same thing," She gave him a suspicious stare, "What were you looking at anyways?"

James swallowed. He'd been caught, now he'd have to come clean. For a non-Jedi, Wynn sure had good instincts. "I was," He tried to think of good excuses, but none of them seemed to make even remote sense, "I was just looking at how close Anakin and Tahiri are."

Wynn looked surprised, "Really? Why?"

"Because…" He cast a furtive glance behind him, "I wanted to know how they became so close," He sighed, "I really want to do this right, Wynn. I never know what to say that a boyfriend would."

Wynn paused for a moment, processing what James was saying, "You really wanted to be that good at dating so you were willing to ask Anakin for advice?"

James nodded, making sure to not look Wynn in the eyes. James felt Wynn's fingers lift his head. "James, you don't have to worry about that. You're doing fine the way you are."

"But I'm not-"

"No," She cut him off, and finished his thought with, "You're not Anakin. You won't ever be Anakin and I won't ever be Tahiri. We have to go at our own pace and do what's best for us," She gave James a warm smile, "And you don't have to do it all on your own, James. This is a two person thing. So, we need to be talking to each other."

James nodded and then let out a sigh, "Yeah, okay." He then pivoted and started towards his room.

"And, James?" Her voice cut him off in mid-step. James turned.

"Thank you," She said, "For trying to help." James backtracked a few steps and without much more than a small pounding of his nerves, he leaned over and kissed Wynn briefly on the lips.

"You're welcome," He said with a small smile before starting away down the hall to his room, leaving Wynn to stand stunned for a few minutes before she went to her own room.

Mara stood up from the couch the minute Luke returned to their apartment. He'd just gone back for his daily visit to the med-center to see Kirk. It worried Mara that every time Luke came back he seemed more stressed than when he'd left.

"Luke," She said and came over to meet him at the door. She felt it and saw it in his expression, but kept her calm, "How is he?"

Luke shook his head, "The doctors are having a hard time treating him because he's been away from any form of medical care. His body is just ravaged, Mara. It's crazy how he managed to live this long without any treatment."

Mara watched Luke's face and kept herself neutral for his sake, "He's going on sheer willpower."

"That's what I figured," Luke said and went to sit down on the couch. "But that shouldn't be possible with his body the way it is."

Mara raised an eyebrow, "I seem to recall that a certain someone going on sheer willpower for most of his life."

Luke scowled and shook his head, "That was different."

"Was it?" Mara sat down next to Luke. Her eyes flickered with the light that Luke had always found mesmerizing. "You two aren't so different, you know."

Luke sighed, "That's not the point, Mara."

She frowned, "But that's my point, Luke. You were his teacher. He learned everything from you."

Luke leaned his elbows on his knees as he rested his head in his hands, "You make it sound like it's my fault."

"It is partly," Mara said gently, "But only enough for it to be your responsibility to give him some advice as a friend and fellow Jedi."

Luke nodded slowly, "I guess. It might be too late to do anything. The reason why he's like this is because of what happened to Nina all those years ago."

"Why not try to find him someone new?"

Luke stared at her strangely, "And give him a blind date? Mara, you can't be serious."

Mara shrugged, "If you think that his condition is because he's been alone for too long, then you should follow through and try to find him someone new."

Luke shook his head, "Mara, if he was going to find someone, I think he would have already."

"But he didn't, though, did he?"

"Exactly!" Luke said, and then quieted himself because he remembered that Ben was sleeping in the next room. His blue eyes became sunken, "He didn't find anyone because he didn't want to. He gave up a long time ago, Mara."

Mara put her hand on Luke's arm, "I'm saying that you can change that, Luke. If anyone can, it's you."

Luke let loose a shaky laugh, "I think you overestimate my ability to change people. Especially Kirk Dekim."

"I have a feeling you should do it anyway," Mara said and stood up, taking Luke's arm. "At least do something before he comes back from a mission in a worse condition than he is now."

"I'll try," Luke relented in a reluctant tone.

"No try, do or do not." Mara quoted before fashioning Luke with her brightest smile. He really couldn't say no to that look, and it bothered him that he was getting that soft.

"Will do, Jade," He answered with a smile.

"Glad to hear it, Farm Boy." Mara nodded approvingly before they both went into the bedroom. Shortly after they were inside the holo-communicator beeped loudly. Luke felt the disturbance even before he answered the call.

**A/N- Thanks for reading and don't forget to review. In ten chapters (that means chapter 33- if the hit count (at least) isn't up from just five hits per chapter I am only going to send the chapter updates to those who have reviewed already. Have a good rest of the week! =)**


	25. That Time of Year

Chapter 24

That Time of Year

_A/N- Update mania!! Seriously, People, this is great!! I'm excited and my creative juices are flowing like a carton of spilled milk. Yes, I DID use both milk and juice in one sentence, because I'm awesome like that. =) Ha, ha. _

_Anyways, get ready for some good action stuff! WOOOO!!!! _

_Again a fair warning about the review/hit count: NINE MORE CHAPTERS BEFORE I WILL ONLY SEND THE CHAPTER UPDATES TO THOSE READERS WHO HAVE ALREADY REVIEWED AND ONLY THOSE PEOPLE. NO LENIENCY WILL BE ALLOWED. (Sorry, Guys, it's getting ridiculous that everyone is just hitting and reading one chapter and not another or reading and never reviewing. I like to discuss my stories, so consider this my formal invitation to review/find more people to increase the hit count. The only way I won't enforce this is if there are more than five hits per chapter that I post and that the review count goes up before I post chapter 33 (and I'm not counting one person's reviews as acceptable). _

_If you're a consistently loyal reader (you guys know who you are and I appreciate all your feedback either via reviews or PMs) this will not affect you since I already know who you are and will be contacting you for your email in order to send you the updates should the hits and review counts not go up. Also, a special thanks to my unofficial beta, __**jediluver033**__, who has not stopped talking about my story since it started. You rule!! _

_Other loyal reviewers to whom I owe my thanks:_

_**JediBettyBug**_

_**jason kent**_

_Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for all the readers who are still keeping up with this series, but the only way for me to be able to tell what needs working on or what needs to be kept the way it is, is if you all review in detail. Even a simple "I liked (insert scene/character here) because (insert reason) would suffice." Be creative, People, this is the place for that kind of thing. I mean FFN's slogan is "Unleash Your Imagination." What are you waiting for? Go forth!!_

… _And now for the Feature Presentation._

_-Don "QuixoticQuest" =)_

* * *

Another Year  
Has Come and Gone again  
Look around  
And think where have you been  
Trace the Lines  
On your face tonight  
And don't forget  
That this will pass in time

It's cold out this morning  
You should be getting into bed  
can't believe it's that time  
Of year again

Curled up tight  
A darker shade of white  
Thinking back could be  
here for a while

Its cold out this morning  
And it's getting harder to pretend  
can't believe it's that  
time of year again

Can you believe the life you led?  
Did you achieve the goals you set?  
Did you lose your mind?  
Well and then

Is there a reason you own them  
It is a season that won't end  
can't believe it's that  
time of year again

Another year  
Has come and gone again  
Look around  
and wonder what happened.

-"That Time of Year" by Sick Puppies

* * *

Luke fast walked through the hospital hallway and tried his best to keep the intense frown off his face so that he wouldn't be asked to leave by the doctors.

He stopped as soon as he saw who he'd been looking for. "Leia," He crossed over to his sister. "How is she?"

Leia shook her head, "She hasn't come out of the ICU."

Luke gritted his teeth and took to pacing before Leia grasped his arm and pulled him into the nearest vacant seat next to hers.

Luke finally calmed himself long enough to ask the question that had been tugging at him since Leia had called him an hour ago. "What happened?"

Leia shook her head, "She went into Jacen's room, and suddenly I felt something was wrong and when I came in…" Leia shook her head.

Luke's face grew severe, "She didn't try to-?" He felt Leia's initial response, "Oh, kriffing sith fuck!" Luke stood up abruptly and banged his fist on the wall.

One of the doctors came over to Luke, who glared in return. "Excuse me; are you the friend of Kirk Dekim?" The doctor asked and Luke's expression changed to one of confusion.

"Yes, why?" Luke tried to get a feel of what the doctor was getting at but had little success.

The doctor shifted, "Well, we're not sure how it happened… but," The doctor lowered his voice, "Mr. Dekim disappeared from the hospital last night."

Luke, to the extreme shock of the doctor, nodded, "Figures," He grunted. Kirk had never liked hospitals much. As Kirk often put it, "It was a waste of time to die by a disinfectant overdose."

"We're searching for him now, Master Skywalker," A more senior doctor said as she approached. Luke smiled to himself.

"Don't bother," He replied, waving his hand. If Kirk didn't want to be found, he wouldn't be. Luke could only guess what his old student was up to, running around Coruscant in nothing but a hospital gown, but that was Kirk Dekim for you: completely and utterly non-sensible.

"Master Skywalker?" The senior doctor and the other doctor were staring at Luke. Leia glanced at Luke curiously before returning her attention to the door to the ICU.

"Leave him be, Kirk Dekim is under my care, I'll make sure he gets proper treatment," Luke assured the doctors. _If I can't get him to go to a regular hospital I'll just have to have Cilghal deal with him. _The Mon Calamari Jedi healer was very good at getting even the most stubborn patients to listen.

"Er, yes, Master Skywalker," The senior doctor said with a strange look over at Leia, who shrugged. "As for the matter of Jaina Solo," The senior doctor then made her way over to Leia. "Her condition has stabled physically, but I do not think it is a good idea to let her leave the hospital for at least another six months."

Leia paled, "Six months? Jaina just left the hospital a month ago," Leia protested with her eyes flaring. Luke put a hand on his sister's shoulder and sent calming feelings through the force.

"We understand that this is stressful, Mrs. Solo," The senior doctor said with an incline of her head, "But we believe that Jaina is prone to continue to try to harm herself if she is not under constant watch."

Leia raised an eyebrow. _Uh, oh. I have a bad feeling about this. _Luke thought to himself._ Never tell Leia how to raise her kids or tell her that she's doing it wrong. _The doctor had just violated both taboos.

"My daughter will be under the care of her family as soon as she is physically able," Leia stated in her "no debate tone" used for when a particularly difficult politician wasn't moving on a position.

The doctor shifted visibly, "Yes, Mrs. Solo," The doctor inclined her head again and retreated and the male doctor's eyes suddenly went wide with recognition.

"That was Senator Leia Organa Solo," He whispered to his superior. The older doctor turned to look over her shoulder and then her eyes widened. She'd just tried to tell Leia Organa Solo, one of the most influential people in the galaxy, how to raise her kids. The female doctor wondered if the hospital would let her keep her job after this.

"I haven't seen you that forceful since Han was trying to convince you that you were in love with him," Luke mused. Leia grunted.

"Shut up, Luke, "She threw him a wry smile, "I didn't see you helping."

Luke shrugged, "And steal your thunder? Na, I'd like to live to see another year." He grinned at his sister, who couldn't help but let a small smile slip. "Where's Han?"

Leia sighed, "He left two days ago to find out who that ghost was that you two were looking for," She gave Luke a curious gaze, "He said something about finding a Merlin Genrick. Do you know who that is?"

Luke shrugged, "I only just researched that name and passed what I found to Han. Beats me what he's doing right now."

"Luke." Leia said sharply.

"It's the truth, Leia," Luke said firmly, "Han was approached by this ghost because the force wanted Han to figure this out."

"But is Han going to be okay on his own?"

Now it was Luke's turn to look strangely at Leia, "Come on, this is _Han Solo _we're talking about. He rescued you and me on multiple occasions."

Leia finally conceded, "Well, I guess you're right. But I'm still worried that he'll wander into something he can't handle on his own."

Luke shrugged, "We always pull each other out, it'll be fine." He then stood up and stretched. "I'm going to get a cup of caf, we might be here for a while," Without a word, Leia nodded. "Two cups coming right up." Luke then turned around and started down the hallway.

Kirk glanced around the corner as two people passed by. He'd had a time trying not to hurt himself when he removed the annoying IV from his arm. But Kirk had escaped from too many hospitals to not know how to remove an IV without a doctor's help. He'd even hated being taken to see Cilghal when he was at the Academy on Yavin 4.

Kirk grunted. His injuries weren't even serious. If Kirk didn't know any better he could have sworn the doctors were trying to figure out if there were more problems aside from the ones he'd been hospitalized for. That's why Kirk hated doctors: they were always trying to find more problems than there were originally.

There was a another reason, but Kirk didn't really want to think about it, though even if he didn't, it would come up anyways. It was Nina's birthday in two days after all. Every year Kirk would go over all the things he'd done wrong and thought about how he could fix them. No matter what path he took in his thoughts, his conclusion was always this: it was his fault that Nina died. It was his fault that he let Nina have sex that resulted in a birth that killed both Nina and the baby. Kirk wouldn't speak to another doctor after that. Nobody would ever change his thoughts about hospitals either.

Kirk sucked in his breath as the cold air touched his injuries. Some were left alone after bacta treatment, but still hurt. Kirk refused to have any anesthetics and now he was reaping the results.

Kirk turned the corner as soon as he sensed it was safe, and then bumped into the form of a running figure in body armor and a gray-black helmet with a black built in visor for the eyes, it was almost clone-trooper-esc in design except that the helmet was more angled and had teal streaks along the sides. The figure stumbled over Kirk, righted, and then fired three shots from a weapon Kirk couldn't place the name of, and then the figure turned to look at Kirk.

"Bit cold to be running around in your underwear, isn't it?" The voice wasn't abrasive or cold, it was if anything, warm and amused.

"It's not my underwear," Kirk replied, unable to believe he had to say that.

"I know it isn't," The armored figure said, and Kirk could almost feel whoever it was grinning at him. "You just escaped from that hospital, right?"

Kirk blinked, "How did you know?"

She shrugged, "I guessed. You don't look like a hospital type."

Kirk scrutinized the figure as much as he could, but he couldn't get a feel for who it was, if he even knew who it was in the first place. Kirk took one step forward and then his legs gave out. The figure caught him, moving Kirk's arm over the figure's heavily armored shoulders, "You need to take a break."

"I'm fine," Kirk said coolly.

"Right," The figure said and then proceeded to help Kirk walk. "We'll go to my hideout. They have medical supplies there."

"Hideout?" Kirk questioned absently, he wasn't thinking straight because of the pain that was shooting from his wounds.

"Yeah, I'm a bounty-hunter if you hadn't noticed," The figure then ducked behind a wall as New Republic soldiers ran by. Kirk looked over at the bounty hunter.

"What'd you do?" He asked.

The bounty hunter shrugged, "The usual, I stirred up some trouble, stole some goods, and made a run for it." Kirk thought about her words, for her saying 'usual' those crimes were actually pretty minor.

"What'd you do to yourself?" The bounty hunter asked. Kirk shrugged.

"Normal results from a Jedi mission," He said, again without thinking too much about his situation.

"A Jedi?" The bounty hunter repeated in amazement. "Well, well, we're in good company then."

"We?" Kirk said, but seconds later he got his answer. Two more armored figures stepped out of a building and waved the bounty hunter holding Kirk over.

"Who's he?" One of the other figures asked.

"A Jedi, Brookes, so be nice," The bounty hunter answered.

"Kriff it all, Render," Brookes replied hotly, "You had to go and bring a _Jedi _here?"

Kirk felt awkward, "If I'm not wanted, I can just leave, I won't say anything about meeting you guys." It was the truth, Kirk just wanted to get as far away from Coruscant as possible.

"No, you're staying. Brookes just has to get over himself," The bounty hunter glanced at Brookes and then helped Kirk through the building's crooked door and onto a torn, but otherwise comfy couch.

"Welcome to our home, Mr, Jedi," The bounty hunter said brightly. Brookes and the other armored figured removed their helmets to reveal two men. Brookes was a young man of thirty with brown hair, sharp green eyes and a scar on his neck. The other was around the same age but was a Chiss with brilliant red eyes. He regarded Kirk.

"It's okay, Brookes, this is Kirk Dekim, we can trust him." The Chiss gave a bow to Kirk and then stood silently by while the last member of the group, the bounty hunter who had helped Kirk, now faced him helmetless.

"I'm Natie Renders, well, it's actually Natasha, but I hate that name." The chestnut colored haired woman said, sticking out her hand. Her blue eyes shone brightly. "This is Brookes, my overprotective older brother, and Nokir Kel of the Chiss. We're bounty hunters."

Kirk stood up momentarily to raise his hand with his palm outwards on his chest and his last two fingers down in the Chiss form of greeting. Nokir responded in kind. Brookes nodded but still gave Kirk a suspicious gaze.

"Sorry about Brookes," Natie said to Kirk, he's had some run ins with some Jedi who didn't treat us all that well."

Kirk looked at Brooke, "Was Claus Neros one of them?"

Brookes stared at Kirk, "Yeah, how did you know?" The young man was still giving Kirk a suspicious look.

"Claus Neros and his Silver Blade Jedi aren't with the Jedi Order, they're as close to being dark Jedi without actually being labeled as dark Jedi." Kirk explained, and then closed his eyes as more pain shot through his body.

"What's wrong?" Natie asked, coming over.

"Just my body having a fit because I won't take care of myself," Kirk joked with a faint smile. Natie wasn't smiling though.

"You're seriously injured," She turned to Brookes, "Will you help him, Brookes?"

Brookes shifted uneasily but then nodded. "I believe that he's not with that Neros. But as soon as he's healed, he has to leave. We can't have Jedi in here." Brookes then went into the other room.

Natie smiled at Kirk, "He can be stubborn, but Brookes is a good guy at heart."

Kirk nodded, "I believe you." He then used the force to supress his pain. "Is he a doctor?"

Natie shrugged, "Once upon a time, yes. He was one of the protégées at his medical school but they kicked him out of the hospital because he refused to treat a Peace Brigade member."

Kirk's insides twisted. Just like the bias against James. Kirk put aside his comment for the moment, "So you all decided to be bounty hunters?"

"We formed to stop Peace Brigade members from killing and turning over people to the Vong. Nokir was almost turned over to them, but we busted him and a bunch of other captured Jedi out of a stronghold."

"We've been stealing from Brigade members since then," Brookes said as he came into the room, now wearing a clean collared shirt and doctor's overcoat. He walked over and began to inspect Kirk's injuries.

"I'll treat you, so come into the other room where I have all my supplies," Brookes said flatly. Kirk nodded and tried to push himself up, but Natie and Nokir took one side and helped Kirk along.

"No use in making it any worse," Natie said. Kirk was already almost unconscious from exhaustion so he didn't respond. He couldn't even keep a straight track of his current situation and flashes of his past that he was getting.

"_Kirk, watch where you're swinging that lightsaber!" Thirteen year old Nina yelled. She grabbed Kirk's wrist. "You're going to kill somebody if you don't keep your grip in control." _

"_I'm holding it right!" Kirk yelled back. In his fifteen year old mind, Kirk always knew he was right. _

"_No, you're not," She chided, "That's why I'm telling you to stop moving so I can show you how to use it."_

"_I'm fine," He then pulled away and began to swing the lightsaber around and it slipping from his hands and cut a gash in his outstretched hand. Kirk dropped the lightsaber in shock and the blade clicked itself off. _

"_What happened?" Luke called as he came striding over._

"_Nothing, Master," Kirk said in a huffy voice. Luke looked to Nina for an explanation._

"_Kirk was swinging the lightsaber and he cut himself, Master Skywalker," Nina said honestly. Kirk glared at her then turned on his teacher. _

"_I'm older, I know how to use a lightsaber." Kirk insisted. Luke nodded._

"_I'm sure you do," The Jedi Master answered soothingly, "But you can still learn from your peers while you train. It might help to prevent accidents like this one."_

_Kirk mumbled something under his breath and Luke laughed, "I might be an insufferable know it all, Kirk, but I am still more seasoned in my Jedi skills than you two are."_

"_Says who?" Kirk asked. To that, Luke had no answer. Kirk always asked the unanswerable questions. _

"Kirk? Kirk?" A voice brought Kirk around. "He's awake, Brookes." Kirk moaned and opened his eyes to stare at Natie who was sitting in a chair next to the couch where Kirk was laid out with blankets.

"You look better," Brookes said in his impassive voice. Kirk wondered if that was just how Brookes was, or if he'd been different before the hospital kicked him out.

"I almost thought you wouldn't wake up," Natie said to the barely conscious Kirk who stared drearily around him and then back at Natie.

"Don't be dramatic, Natie, his injuries weren't serious." Brookes said with a frown. Natie pursed her lips at her brother and then scowled.

"Just because you have the emotional capacity of a trash can doesn't mean we all have to be that way, Brookes." Natie argued. Kirk silently found himself wishing he could be in quieter company. He had a huge headache and he was still sore from whatever procedure Brookes had given him.

"Fine, but leave me out of this," Brookes said, ending their argument that Kirk had tuned out of, "But don't come crying to me when it ends badly. Jedi always get caught up in death one way or another." Brookes then walked out of the room and into the med-room where Kirk was treated, slamming the door behind him.

Natie winced and then turned to Kirk, "Sorry about that. Brookes used to date a Jedi."

Kirk gave Natie a sympathetic look that he'd have directed at Brookes otherwise. "What happened to her?"

Natie shrugged, "I don't know the whole story since it was Brookes who was with her when she died."

Kirk's expression turned bitter, "Yuuzhan Vong?"

Natie nodded, "The same hospital that Brookes was kicked out of, failed to save her life." Kirk felt a pang at those words. Kirk knew better than to prejudge people, as a Jedi he could tell the true natures of the people around him. Brookes' had been shrouded in an unidentifiable grief when Kirk first used to the force to sense Brookes feelings.

"I understand," Kirk replied gently, meaning it. "I lost someone a long time ago." He wasn't really sure why he'd told Natie of all people this. He'd only just met her, what was now hours ago because of the medical treatment and she wasn't anyone that he'd normally have wanted to tell something like that to. She was too sincere and open hearted to be able to be anything more than a stopping point in Kirk's life. This wasn't a permanent place for him and these people would just become faces to Kirk. He didn't connect to people for a long time, that's just how things were.

"That's horrible," Natie said with an almost frightened look on her face. Kirk now wished he'd never said anything at all. "What happened to her?"

"I killed her," Kirk answered, once again his mind had spoken without his own volition.

"What do you mean?" Natie asked, Kirk definitely did not want to have this conversation, yet he was having it anyways.

"She died in childbirth and it was my fault she ended up in that situation." Kirk replied in the same impassively heavy tone that Brookes had used. This didn't go unnoticed by Natie. Without really thinking too much about his words Kirk continued, "Loving someone only causes pain. It's not worth it. Your brother's right."

Natie flinched, "You don't actually believe that, do you?" She asked.

"I do, and I have for a long time," Kirk answered sternly. Natie was obviously naïve. It was no wonder that Brookes didn't want her going too far. "You should listen to Brookes."

"Don't talk down to me, Kirk," She said, "I'm twenty five, I can take care of myself." Kirk shook his head with an exasperated sigh,

"I've been through a lot more than you or your brother," Kirk explained.

"What? You're not much older than I am." She said. "Why should you be able to tell me what to do?"

"I'm twenty eight, Natie, and no that's not that much older, but sometimes experiences aren't about age." Kirk looked at the door where Kirk sensed that Brookes was quietly listening to his conversation with Natie. "Your brother doesn't want you to get hurt."

"Who'd hurt me?" Natie asked, "You won't," She added confidently. Kirk shook his head.

"You don't know that. Just because someone tells you to trust them, that isn't always the end of it." Kirk frowned deeply so that his forehead creased. "It's usually the beginning."

"Well, I trust you, so are you just going to attack me to prove a point?" Natie asked, her own expression growing grim. Kirk sighed again.

"No, but if I was anyone else wandering around, all three of you could be dead," Kirk paused, "Or if I still was who I was ten years ago you guys would be dead right now, I wouldn't have hesitated. Most people don't."

Natie raised an eyebrow, "Kirk, I'm a bounty hunter, I know not to hesitate."

Kirk frowned, "So why didn't you shoot me?"

She gave him an amused look, "What, shoot an injured man while he's half conscious?" Natie laughed, "I'm a bounty hunter, not a murderer-" Suddenly her eyes flickered with the light of Kirk's newly built lightsaber, since he'd given the other one to James, this one was a dark blue.

"I'm telling you this for your own good, Natie," Kirk said without any emotion, his voice was cold and firm, "Don't trust me. The moment you do, you'll end up just like your brother said. I live alone and I work alone. Some Jedi would gladly accept you as a friend, but I'm not one of them." He then closed down his lightsaber and let his head sink back onto the pillow. Natie finally recovered from her shock to stare at Kirk.

"What happened to you?" She asked. "I've never met anyone so indifferently bitter."

Kirk laughed hollowly, "Then you haven't talked to very many people because I'm actually willing to warn people."

Natie folded her arms across her chest, "Huh, and I'm supposed to be grateful for that?"

Kirk shrugged, "Take it how you wish. But I'm leaving as soon as it's morning." The door to Brookes' room opened and he walked over to Kirk and placed a set of clothes comprised of plain loose trousers, a down flight jacket, and a brown tunic and black vest.

"Here, I had some spare civilian clothes," Brookes said, "The best way out of here is through the alleyway to the left, it leads straight to the lifts to the docking bay on the first level. No one goes down there so you can slip out unnoticed," Then as if as an afterthought Brookes said, "May the force be with you, Kirk." Then Brookes went back into his room and shut the door behind him.

Natie stared at Kirk who was obviously left out of the strangeness of what just happened. Nokir was standing off to the side and had heard the entire exchange as well. His expression was one of definite surprise.

"What?" Kirk finally ventured.

"Brookes has never lent his clothes to anyone," Natie said, shaking her head. "He must have heard what you'd said because he doesn't connect to anyone that easily."

Kirk gave a hard stare in Natie's direction, "Don't think much of it. I'm leaving."

Natie stopped herself from almost punching Kirk, "My brother shows some compassion for the first time in years and you're telling me _not_ to think about it?" Natie asked incredulously. "Listen, Kirk, you have no idea what Brookes has been like since she died."

Kirk smiled wryly, "Actually, I have a pretty good idea," He glanced at the door to Brookes' room, "He's exactly like I was ten years ago. It'll pass."

"So he'll just become as isolated and bitter as you?" Natie said angrily. "What's comforting about that?"

"Natie," Nokir said, holding her arm.

"No, let him answer, Nokir," Natie insisted coldly, "Well, Kirk?"

"Life isn't about comfort," Kirk replied, "Not for a Jedi." Kirk said and then was silent.

Nokir continued to hold Natie's arm until she stopped breathing heavily and fuming. "How can you just give up? How can you live with being so unhappy?"

"Natie," Nokir cut in, "It is not your choice."

"Kirk?" Her voice was now a little more than a whisper, "Why did you give up?"

Kirk's eyes showed the obvious detachment that had been there for years, "You have your life ahead of you, Natie. Mine has already gone ahead of me and turned me into a hollow shell. It's not your responsibility to help someone like me. I know you're only trying to do the right thing, but it's not up to you what happens to me."

Natie's shoulder slumped in resign and she started away, letting Nokir's hand drop to his side. "Goodbye, Kirk." She said before going into the room next to her brother's and closing the door.

"I know you do not wish to hear this," Nokir said to Kirk, "But it is possible for you to fix what has happened in the past, Master Dekim."

Kirk blinked, "Nokir, I remember you," Kirk gave the Chiss a sober look, "You're one of the Chiss that helped me to raid those ships."

Nokir nodded, "It is hard to forget such a warrior when he destroys all in his path," The Chiss said, nodding towards Kirk.

"Then you know why someone like me shouldn't be around Natie," Kirk looked significantly at Nokir, "She's already been through enough with Brookes, she shouldn't have to hear what I've done."

"Your mistakes, are simply that, mistakes," Nokir answered with a hard stare, "You are a warrior, Master Dekim. No one expects your hands to be clean."

"Exactly," Kirk pointed out, "Natie is clean. I won't stay around her any longer than I have to."

"Natie has killed others herself, Master Dekim," The red eyes fixated on Kirk. "Do you honestly think a bounty hunter has no sense of what death is?"

Kirk opened his mouth and then shut it. "I'm not staying, Nokir. I'm a wanderer and I always will be. I'm sorry." Kirk inclined his head and raised his hand above his head in the Chiss form of apology.

"It is not to me that you must apologize," Nokir said with a shake of his dark haired head. "You are the one who deserves an apology for your pains."

Kirk nodded and inclined his head, "I thank you for your hospitality, Nokir of the Chiss."

"And I you, Kirk Dekim of the Jedi, " The Chiss then turned on his heel and was gone. Kirk pulled on the clothes and lay on the couch, staring up at the ceiling until morning came.

Anakin slowly took one last look around the grassy area. He had decided that it had been long enough since they'd come to the random as well as blissful planet to hide and now Anakin was sure that they needed to be on the move once more. Something in the back of his mind was troubling him. A warning bell had rung and he'd felt Jaina's pain followed by the sharp disturbance from somewhere else. In a distant part of the galaxy a threat lingered and Anakin knew that Xillanor was only the surface of that threat. It was possible that Xillanor wasn't even related to the threat Anakin felt.

All that Anakin knew was that he need to keep moving, no matter how far he went, or how long it would take them, Anakin wanted to keep everyone safe until he knew what exactly Xillanor was up to and more importantly, how to fight the mysterious bounty hunter: the same one that had killed Jacen and as a result, caused Anakin's entire family trouble and heartbreak. Jacen wasn't weak, so Anakin was almost soberly frightened of the chilly fact that this bounty hunter could easily eliminate a member of the Solo family.

Anakin frowned deeply at the sky before turning around to go back up the ramp where Tahiri was standing.

"What's wrong?" Tahiri asked.

"I'm getting a bad feeling from the force," He said in a low voice, "I'm not sure what it is though."

Tahiri nodded, "I feel it too."

Anakin shivered from the breeze passing by, "If you don't want to keep running, you should go back to Coruscant, where it's safe." Anakin said. Tahiri snorted.

"Are you kidding? What makes you think I'd do that?" She asked incredulously. He shrugged.

"I just thought I'd try to convince you to go while it's still an option," He offered. Tahiri sighed.

"We're in this together or not at all, Hero Boy," She replied with a slight amount of anger. Anakin nodded.

"What's really bothering you?" Tahiri asked.

"I don't know," He said, his agitation at the fact creeping into his voice, "The feeling that there's so much more to Xillanor and Jacen's death that I don't know about, it's frustrating and scary. I want to know what to do before it's too late and someone else gets hurt or dies because I couldn't figure out what's going on."

Tahiri nodded, "We'll figure it out then." She replied confidently but stopped when she sensed the extreme nerve wrecked feeling she was getting from Anakin.

"This isn't like you, Anakin," She said, concern etched onto her face. "You might lose face but you're never this unnerved."

He gritted his teeth, "That's because before now all of my family had been alive."

Tahiri knew Anakin's feeling well. She'd lost Sliven, but before he'd been killed Tahiri had been on pins and needles to help him.

"You two ready to go?" Adrock asked. The pilot had decided to tag along in his X-Wing. His interest in finding out about the attackers and Xillanor was peaked and now Adrock was as invested in the search as Anakin was.

"Yeah," Anakin said airily and turned and went into the cockpit, his eyes still unfocused and full of dread.

"What do you mean she's being held?" Leia demanded of the doctor standing before her. The doctor stared unflinchingly at Leia, who was just as tall as he was.

"Your daughter is unstable emotionally, she needs more care here," The doctor stated firmly, "Please understand, we're doing this for her own health."

"Excuse me, but I think I know better than you do how to take care of my daughter," Leia replied evenly.

"I'm sorry, this is hospital policy," The doctor said, "We can't release a patient who is prone to violence towards herself or anyone else."

Leia clenched her teeth, "Your policy?" She snapped. A hand touched her shoulder.

"Leia, let them take care of Jaina," Luke said gently.

After a moment Leia relented, "I'm going home." She stated and started off down the hall. Luke rounded on the doctor.

"Do you have any training on how to handle someone who's under that kind of stress?" He demanded. The doctor took a step back.

"Well, I-"

"Then I suggest you give your policy a little more thought, Doctor." Luke's voice was almost a growl. He turned on his heel and was gone.

"That's Luke Skywalker," Another doctor said in amazement, "You pissed off _Luke Skywalker._"

The other sighed, "Don't remind me."

Jaina moaned and opened her eyes. Her memory of the night before was fuzzy but she seemed to remember being in Jacen's room and then…. Yes, she'd gone and picked up his training lightsaber and then tried to stab herself to death. But Leia had come in before then and Jaina had passed out.

She turned and noticed the IV in her arm and without a single thought pulled it out.

Leia's head jerked around as she heard a commotion in the ICU ward. She turned around and bolted through the doors. As she entered she heard the loud continuous blare of the life monitor in Jaina's room.

"Jaina!" Leia cried before she was stopped by one of the doctors. "Jaina!"

**A/N- Another cliffie! Hee! Good thing is that I'm updating again tonight (might be really late but I will). Please review!! =)**

.


	26. Self Destruct

**Chapter 25**

**Self Destruct**

_A/N- Yeah, I kind of ended on a grim/cliffie scary moment, so this title is to make sure it stays that way! Yay!! (Just kidding, I'm just messing with you guys). The title will make more sense later on, just read on._

_I didn't get to finish last night but oh, well. It's up now so you can read, yay!!! _

_I don't have to say much since my other AN was longer and explained everything (including the warning about the hit/review count). _

_Thanks again to all the loyal readers out there and to my dog, Apollo, for being absolutely adorable. _

_-Don =)_

* * *

Kirk slipped out of the small building that served as the home for the three bounty hunters. His instincts had told him that he might be making a mistake but he didn't want to listen to them at the moment. From experience, Kirk knew his instincts often lead to situations where he had to do something he didn't want to. Like his instinctive impulse to respond to Luke Skywalker's summons to help find his missing nephew a little over a year ago.

Now Luke's nephew was missing again, but this time Kirk wasn't going to go find him, even if Luke asked Kirk to. He'd had his share of failures over time but the one surrounding Anakin was more painful than anything Kirk had ever experienced in his entire life. It was mainly because he'd found Anakin only to see the young teen die. Or so Kirk had thought for the eight months or so that Anakin had been missing once again or at least as far as the force was concerned, Anakin had been missing.

No, Kirk was finished with that life. He'd run away from the hospital with every intention of cutting himself loose from the chain that had reattached itself to his neck. Kirk glanced around and felt out the area with the force before running down the alleyway that Brookes had pointed out.

Kirk slowed only when he made it up to the small flight of stairs to the platform crowded with people and aliens rushing to their destinations. Well, Brookes had been right about not being noticed. Kirk was just another face in the crowds on Coruscant's first level. Kirk shifted the weight of the lightsaber strapped to his belt off his leg and closer to where his hand could reach it, then started towards the docking bay where he would use the credits he'd earned over time to buy a ship to get himself out of Coruscant permanently.

Kirk entered the docking bay, glancing around at the ships surrounding him, he saw the manager off to the side, chatting with one of the mechanics.

"I'm telling you, I can't fix it," The mechanic said, waving his clipboard in the face of the manager, who continued to scowl and shake his balding head.

"Look, if you can't fix it, this ship's useless to me," The manager grunted. Kirk smiled. Opportunities presented themselves in the oddest of forms, but Kirk was willing to take what he could get. He made his way over to the two bickering beings. The mechanic, an ill tempered rodian, was glaring at Kirk until the reptilian alien noticed Kirk's lightsaber.

"If I may," Kirk said, "I'll make you an offer."

The manager sighed, "I'll take anything." Kirk gestured to the ship.

"If I can fix this ship, will you sell it to me for a discounted price?" Kirk asked in a calm and neutral tone. The manager threw his hands up.

"If you can fix that thing," The manager pointed at the ship, "Then you can have the damn thing for free."

Kirk smiled. "That's a generous offer; sure you don't mind me taking that off your hands?"

The manager grunted, "If you can fix it, what makes you so sure that you can?"

"I have some experience, shall we say." Kirk said with a confident smile and then turned to the rodian who growled before holding out his toolkit.

"It'z not fixable," The rodian said and then walked away, flicking his tail back and forth.

Kirk rubbed his hands together. "Ready to see some amazing mechanics?" He gave the manager a cocky grin.

The manager shrugged. "You're wasting your time,"

_We'll see about that, _Kirk thought before getting to work on the ship. It was the exact design that Kirk had seen in old blueprints of Old Republic ships. He'd only seen some of them, but the design of the relic like patrol fighter. It was a SoroSuub Cutlass-9 fighter modified and designed especially for use by Jedi during the glory days of the Old Republic. Something like this would be a treasure for anyone using it. Kirk ran his hand along the long tip and then climbed up to get a more objective view of the cockpit.

Within minutes the twenty eight year old Jedi Master had located the source of the issue and was already making adjustments.

"Hard to fix, right?" Kirk turned to look down, expecting the manager again, but to his surprise he saw not an old man but a young woman in armor, a familiar helmet tucked under her arm.

"What are you doing here, Natie?" Kirk asked coolly, trying to keep the exasperation out of his voice.

"Seeing you off, what else?" Natie replied with a raised eyebrow. "Come on, I've got to at least see if the job Brookes did fixing you up worked."

Kirk gave her a wry smile, "Do you think he'd botch it?"

Natie shrugged. "I wouldn't put it past my brother, but you never know."

Kirk returned his attention to the ship as he pulled out some of the wires and began to rearrange them so that the most vital ones were better connected with the control board. Then he made changes to the controls to accommodate his Jedi strengths, which were geared towards first instincts. He needed immediate reactions from his craft.

"Why do you want to leave now?" Natie asked, breaking Kirk's concentration once again. He grunted as he had to redo his job on the control panel and weapons.

"I told you that I don't like to stay in one place very long," He answered curtly as he continued to wire his soon to be new ship. He'd already fixed the drive, which had been the original problem that the rodian had failed to fix, so now he was just adding some new features of his own design.

"Yeah, I heard you before," Natie said with a frown, "But I'm not sure why."

Kirk finished his job and gave the stunned manager a wink as he tested the engines. The fighter roared with its newly restored life and then Kirk grunted. He'd have to find some goggles and a helmet somewhere else. He then felt something hit his knee and glanced down. A helmet and a pair of goggles were lying at his feet. Kirk lifted his head to see that Natie was watching him.

"You're going to need that," She said in explanation before averting her gaze.

"Thanks," Kirk said with a nod and picked up the helmet and put on the goggles before slipping on the silver helmet, which was angled a little like Natie's own helmet but it had only two markings on each side of the helmet: two blue flames in the form of a lightning bolt.

"What're you going to name the ship?" She questioned. Kirk thought for a moment.

"Blue Rain," He looked reflectively down at the ship. "I've always liked the rain."

Natie nodded with a faint smile, "It's a good name," She said quietly before shifting her helmet a little. "Well, I've got to go. Brookes wants to try to hit a depot on the far side of the city before the end of the day."

"Right," Kirk said with an inclination of his head, "Good luck and may the force be with you, Natie Renders." Kirk then closed the canopy of his ship and the ship began to move out and then shot into the skies.

Natie sighed as she fingered something in her hand before pocketing it.

"Let me through!" Leia commanded, and used the force to shove aside the stunned doctors. She strode quickly towards Jaina's room, which was crowded by the doctors.

"What happened?" Leia barked as she entered. The chief doctor turned around and then straightened when he saw Leia.

"Senator Organa Solo," The Mon-Calamari bowed respectfully. It wasn't quite the reaction Leia was expecting from the doctors since all she'd received were negative responses and uncooperative lectures and arguments. "Please follow me outside; I'll explain more in detail before I let you see your daughter."

Leia nodded. She was glad that the doctor was at least going to let her visit Jaina. Though the feeling she was receiving from the doctor wasn't good. Once outside the room and the door had been closed behind them, the chief doctor faced Leia.

"First of all, let me offer my condolences for your loss, Senator," He let out a pained sigh, "I much liked Jacen," The doctor nodded to Leia's surprised face, "Cilghal is my sister. She talked much about the Solo children and of you and your husband. I've seen the reports of the battles Jacen has fought in and I know how brave he was. It is a shame that such a person had to be killed." He bowed his head again to Leia, who recovered her composure.

"Thank you."

"It is no easy task to lose a child, Ma'am," He continued, "My wife and I," He began with a heavy tone, "Lost two of our children in the attack on Coruscant during the war."

Leia's insides grew heavier and she felt her heart go out to the doctor. "I wish we knew that there was a threat to the innocents." Leia said, "We could have helped you."

He shook his head. "Your family has given enough for the galaxy as it is. There would be no point in risking it any further." He sucked in his breath before continuing, "Besides, you did not know about every single casualty. There was no way to save everyone. My children died because a coral skipper crashed into our home." He shook his head,

"Doctor-" Leia began. He held up his hand.

"Please, call me Ly'ghal," The chief replied with a smile. "You are among friends here, Senator Organa Solo." He then straightened, "Your daughter removed her IV."

Leia tensed, "What would she do that for?"

The Ly'ghal looked uncomfortable, "She tried to use the needle to kill herself."

Leia shook her head, "That's not possible," She continued to shake her head despite Ly'ghal's clearly truthful feel through the force; "Jaina wouldn't do that."

Ly'ghal placed a hand on Leia's shoulder. "Death makes people do things they normally wouldn't."

"But-" Leia protested and Ly'ghal steered her over to the seats lining the wall. He sat down next to her.

"Jaina will be fine," He assured Leia, "She is a strong person. I may not be her mother, but that much I am sure of." He paused before standing, "We were worried when her monitor went flat," He sighed, "She had almost gotten the needle completely into her wrists."

Leia turned pale. _So that's why there was so much commotion? Why hadn't I felt it coming?_

"We'll be keeping an eye on her, but you are welcome to stay as long as you like," The chief doctor then waited as Leia rose shakily to her feet and followed him into the room. Jaina was lying on the bed, bandages covering her wrists. Two assistants stood off to the side, watching Jaina as she stared intently at the blankets. Ly'ghal gestured for the assistants to leave.

"We'll be outside if you require anything," Ly'ghal said and then shut the door behind him, leaving Leia to experience the cold and emotionless silence that followed.

Without a warning Jaina spoke, "Go ahead and ask me why I wanted to do it." Her tone was so empty and listless that didn't even sound like Jaina at all.

"I won't, Jaina," Leia answered gently but firmly, "Because it's my fault for not realizing how much Zekk and Jacen's deaths affected you."

Jaina gave Leia a look of grief and confusion. They were wide and lost like a young child who'd had a nightmare that she or he didn't understand. Jaina felt helpless, lost, and alone. It was feeling she wasn't used to. "I don't know what to do," Jaina said, her voice cracking, "I'm supposed to be the strong one, why can't I be that way now?"

"Jaina," Leia said, reaching over and placing her hand over her daughter's, "Nobody expects you to recover right away or to move on. Jacen was…" She swallowed, "Jacen was a large part of all our lives. He was your twin, as much a part of you as your own heart," Leia sighed, "I know Luke and I don't have what you two did, but I understand the pain. It doesn't fade."

Jaina nodded wordlessly and then her hands shook violently as the tears came down her cheeks. "I can't stop hurting all the time. Something won't let me stop crying. It's pathetic." Jaina said bitterly.

"Sweetie," Leia said, her eyes locking with Jaina's, "If you could stop crying after a month that would be inhuman."

"What if I don't want to just be human? I'm a Jedi. Jedi aren't supposed to cry." Jaina argued fiercely."

"That's not true," Leia answered, "Anakin cries, Jacen cried, and even your uncle cried at many different points in his life." Leia shook her head, "You shouldn't be ashamed of being human sometimes," Leia paused and gave Jaina's hand a squeeze, "Especially when it's one of the reasons why the people around you love you."

Jaina tried to choke back her sobs but they came through anyway and tears spilled on the sheets. The door opened and Jaina's tear stained face looked up as Anakin entered.

"Anakin," Leia said in surprise. "I thought you weren't coming back."

"I felt Jaina's hurt through the force, so I had to come back," He said, giving his sister a warm smile, "At least for a while."

"Where's Tahiri?" Leia asked. Anakin jerked his head towards the hallway.

"She's outside," He answered, "The doctor said there were already too many people in the room as it is." Anakin walked over to where Jaina was and Leia got up.

"I'll be back again later, Jaina," She said and left her two children to talk. Anakin took a seat next to Jaina's bed and clasped his hands between his legs.

Jaina gave Anakin a hard stare before speaking, "You know, don't you," She said, the tense pain rising in her voice, "Who killed Jacen."

Anakin hesitated and Jaina scowled at him. "Anakin, I know you know who killed Jacen. Tell me."

"It's not for us to take revenge, Jaina," Anakin said quietly. Jaina gritted her teeth and kept her voice deathly low.

"Don't tell me what to do, Anakin," She said icily, "You know who killed Jacen. He could kill someone else."

Anakin gave Jaina a caring and soothing look, "Exactly." He stood up and gave Jaina a hug.

"I know who it is, but I don't know what he's capable of, Jay," He said gently as he sat down on the edge of the bed. "Until I know, you need to focus on healing."

Jaina frowned, though more out of concern for the planning in the back of his mind that was hidden by his tone. "What are you going to do?" Jaina asked, almost wishing that she didn't have to.

"I'm finding out who this guy is," Anakin replied seriously, "Someone needs to get the information and since he's already got me on his radar, I can track him."

Jaina's scowl deepened, "He attacked you?"

Anakin paused but then decided on telling the truth, "Yes, but no one got hurt."

Jaina stared at Anakin incredulously, "No one got hurt? That might be true now but what about if he tries again!" She growled. "You're running into the same trap Jacen did." Jaina's voice softened with the clear fear she felt at her core, "Anakin, you need to stop this. I mean now, before it gets someone else killed."

"I won't let anyone else handle it," Anakin replied, placing a reassuring hand on his sister's shoulder, "This is what the force wants me to do, so I have to trust it."

Jaina shook her head, "Anakin, that kind of idealistic thinking will get you killed." She gave him a pleading look, something that Anakin hadn't ever seen Jaina use before. Not even when she was little did she plead with their parents. She swallowed, trying to find the words to say what she was clearly feeling. "I don't want to lose you too, Anakin."

He placed a hand on Jaina's head and kissed her forehead, "Tahiri won't let that happen," He almost laughed at that, "And nor will I."

Jaina bit her lip, "I don't know…"

Anakin placed his hand over hers and sent his confidence through the force, "Trust me, okay? I'm not going to die."

"Anakin, you don't know that," Jaina protested, "Anything could happen. Someone could shoot down your ship and no one would ever see you again." Jaina's voice finally broke and she couldn't say anymore. Anakin gave her a Solo grin that reminded Jaina briefly of the kind of care-free grins that Jacen used to display on a regular basis.

"Not going to happen," A voice said from the doorway. Tahiri stood there, her arms folded across her chest and her green eyes flaring. "Not under my watch."

Anakin threw his sister a shrug and a knowing look, "I wouldn't question her, if I were you."

Jaina felt a smile creep onto her lips at that. Anakin had the most stubborn and overprotective girlfriend that Jaina had ever seen. Even Tenel Ka wasn't that attached to Jacen, at least not for a long time. But Tahiri had been stuck to Anakin like glue since day one.

"I'm trusting you to take care of my idiot brother, Tahiri," Jaina said with a significant look at Tahiri, who gave Anakin a small glare.

"Hey!" Anakin said indignantly.

"Don't worry, Dummy here isn't doing anything without my say-so," Tahiri said to Jaina and then grabbed Anakin's arm. "Come on, Anakin, we've got to go."

Anakin threw Jaina a glare before being dragged unceremoniously from the room. Leia came in, looking after her son with a questioning look and then turned to Jaina. "Did I miss something?"

"Only the usual," Jaina replied with a grin. "Anakin losing another battle against Tahiri."

Leia laughed for what seemed like the first time in days. "He's been head over heels for her since day one."

"My thoughts exactly," Jaina said, smirking. "He can't find it in himself to say no to her."

Leia shook her head, "I never thought anyone could do that." She grinned at Jaina, "What would we do without her?"

"I don't know, lock Anakin in the Falcon?" Jaina suggested. Leia looked mock-horrified.

"Han would have a fit," Leia pointed out. Jaina laughed.

"All the more reason to do it," Jaina smirked mischievously, "Dad needs some excitement in his life."

Leia sighed, "You're definitely his daughter alright."

Anakin entered the docking bay nearest to the hospital, where they had left James' ship, only to have Tahiri grab his arm as she remained still. Anakin stopped and turned around.

"Tahiri?" He questioned and then felt his surprise grow as Tahiri hugged him harder than she ever had in all the time Anakin had known her. He felt her unease. The conversation with Jaina must have worried Tahiri. He put his arms around her and rested his chin gently against her head. "I won't let go."

Tahiri nestled her head against his chest. "You better not." Anakin had to smile at that. She was back to her usual self.

"We'd better get back to the ship," He said after a few minutes. Tahiri bobbed her head and pulled away but Anakin grasped her hand before she could start walking. "I said I wasn't letting go." He said with a smile, which Tahiri returned. Then they walked up the ramp of the ship and as soon as they were inside, the ramp closed and the ship lifted up and out of the docking bay.

Kirk used the force to plot out his flight and then he took the hyper-jump into Chiss space. He had to talk to Soontir as soon as possible.

Hours later Kirk pulled out of hyperspace and was cleared to land. Soontir was waiting at the palace for Kirk. Once inside the Baron's private office, Kirk gave Soontir a serious frown.

"You found Cem I take it?" Soontir asked in a sobered tone.

"He wasn't willing to join," Kirk filled in, Soontir stiffened.

"You killed him then. Very well," Soontir said and turned away from Kirk to face the window. Kirk felt the chilliness of his body.

"Cem isn't dead, Soontir," Kirk said, the edge in his voice. "I did what should have been a fatal attack but after I left they must have gotten him treated in time." Soontir's back stiffened and the Chiss Baron's eyes narrowed to slits.

"I understand," Soontir said firmly, "You may go, Kirk. This is between Chiss now."

Kirk inclined his head and turned to leave and he froze when he saw the person standing in the doorway. His already tense expression grew grave.

Brookes checked his chrono for the fifth time that afternoon, "Where is she?" He questioned. "She said she'd be here as soon as she saw Kirk off."

Nokir gave Brookes a reassuring nod, "She will be here soon, Brookes," The Chiss lifted his head to stare up at the sky.

"I don't get it," Brookes said with obvious disapproval, "What is she doing?"

Nokir gave a rare smile, one that only he truly understood. "She must be distracted as usual."

"But she's never late for a mission," Brookes said and began to shift his gear. He glanced around the secluded alleyway: still there was nobody in sight. "That's it." He said after another ten minutes of silence. "I'm going to find her," Brookes started away from the alleyway and stormed off in the opposite direction. Nokir took one look behind him before following Brookes.

Kirk barely had enough time to shove Soontir aside before the person standing in the doorway pulled on the tab of his vest. The room flashed white and red.

**A/N- I will update tomorrow night, until then, fare well, My Friends! =) **


	27. This Time Around

**Chapter 26**

_**This Time Around**_

_A/N- Sorry, I've kind of been mean to you guys (giving you nothing but cliffies at the end of each chapter). That's my bad, and I was having a little fun at your expense. But hey, it's Schadenfreude, people! (For explanation of this reference look up "Avenue Q" on youtube). _

_Anyways…. I'm seeing some improvement in the hit count but it's not enough for me to cancel the sending of the chapters to only those who have reviewed so far. So if you really don't want me to do that, get more readers and if I see all the chapters over 5 hits by the time I get to chapter 33, I might change my mind. If they're over 10 hits each by the time I hit 29, I might extend the deadline, but we'll have to see. Keep up whatever you guys are doing and I won't have to pull the plug on the fan fic for those only reading and not reviewing. Seriously, if you're reading it and keeping up with the story, what's wrong with taking two minutes to review? Reading the chapter takes longer than that! _

_Okay, done ranting. Well, it's up to you guys now. So may the force be with you and your ability to get more readers/reviewers/hits. _

_A special thanks to my dog, Apollo, for being the best dog in the world! (Sorry, if you guys have one, but he's my dog, so I think he's the best) and to the following people:_

_-My I-tunes music for providing inspiration (the title goes to Hanson- though the song lyrics themselves have nothing to do with this chapter)._

_-Timothy Zahn: because he's the genius of this outfit._

_-Lucas (He created it)._

_-Tea (because I use that as my writing fuel!)._

_- Once more to my unofficial beta, jediluver033, for putting up with my cliffies and giving me encouragement throughout the entire series. _

… _And to YOU, my lovely readers! _

_Enjoy!_

_-Don =)_

* * *

The hallway was silent as the shadow of a figure slipped across the bleak metal walls. Breath held, the figure used the tracer grasped in the left black leather gloved hand to detect whether or not the target was in the room. Then the figure slowly moved towards the corner but immediately felt the silence fall just before a loud explosion sounded from the room the figure was about to enter. Without waiting a second, the figure ran towards the melted remains of the door.

Kirk let out a low groan and turned his head. In his attempt to save Soontir's life, Kirk had pushed his old Chiss friend out the glass window behind the desk and onto the balcony. Kirk used what angle he could to see if Soontir had survived the forceful, though necessary, push. Soontir stirred and Kirk could see the Chiss Baron's legs testing themselves out. Soontir was okay if he could at least gingerly test his body's condition. But Kirk couldn't say the same for himself.

Because he hadn't had the time to move far after shoving Soontir through the glass, Kirk had gotten the brunt of the explosive. Kirk knew from the numbing feeling he felt on his back that it was probably severely burned right down to the outermost nerves. Kirk declined to look at the rest of his body since he already knew that it was probably just as bad as his back, if not, worse.

He couldn't open his eyes because the thickness of the dust and debris in the air. Pieces of the ceiling and large pools blood were scattered all over the floor. Kirk decided it was better not to think of what became of the bomber. He let out a ragged sigh as he felt his leg was pinned by a fallen piece of the ceiling. It was likely broken at this point. Kirk didn't know how long it had been since he'd passed out.

Suddenly the weight lifted from his leg and a hand touched his arm. "Can you stand?"

"Natie?" Kirk's eyes still weren't recovered enough to see who it was, but the force knew. "No, my leg's crushed and I…" He winced as his burns seared from the light touch of Natie's hand. She apparently didn't need any further telling because she didn't touch him again.

"Mind telling me how and why you followed me?" Kirk said, his voice labored, he felt her initial surprise through the force.

"You mean you didn't notice?" She asked.

"Notice what?" Kirk asked, now as confused as he was in pain.

"I planted a small tracking device in your helmet," Natie said. Kirk could feel her smiling proudly. It wasn't really something Kirk himself would have self congratulated himself on. Not that he'd do that anyways. Kirk always took the philosophy of "worst case scenario" and always prepared himself for something bad following the good.

"Right," Kirk said, "Good work," He said sardonically, "Now you're going to have to explain how and why you got into the highest security level building that the Chiss have."

Natie smirked and even though Kirk couldn't see it, he knew she was. It was the same cocky attitude that got many Jedi that Kirk had worked with, on the rare occasion that he did work in a team, in the Jedi covert ops, killed. It bothered Kirk that people like Natie still existed in the galaxy and nobody was telling them not to be idiotic.

"Didn't your parents tell you not to run into a room after it explodes?" Kirk asked in a fiercely incredulous voice.

Natie shrugged, "Well, since my parents left me and my brother in the middle of the streets in Coruscant, they never really taught us anything, except that we weren't wanted," she paused, "And to answer your other question, Nokir let me in. He said he was an old friend of the Baron," Natie regarded Kirk carefully, "And of you."

Kirk's expression became grimly sober. "Why didn't you tell me you knew Nokir?"

"Because it wasn't important," Kirk answered flatly. He could hear voices from the hallway as what Kirk felt to be the med-squad and five Chiss troop squads, ran towards the still burning room. Most of the flames had been crushed by the ceiling and by the sprinklers that hadn't broken in the explosion so Natie and Kirk weren't in any immediate danger, but still Kirk couldn't help but feel apprehensive.

"If you'd come in here a second earlier you'd be dead," Kirk said, now feeling the nauseating sensation as blood trickled into his eyes from a gash on his forehead. Kirk heard the soft crunch of boots on rocks as Natie knelt down next to him.

"What about you, huh?" She asked, "Don't you care that you would have died in an explosion that wasn't even meant for you?"

Kirk gave her a sad but firm smile, "When the lives of your friends come to mean to you than your own, you'll understand why I do what I do."

Natie grunted, "Despite how naïve you seem to think I am, I do know that feeling." She leaned her head on her elbow as it rested on her crouched leg. "Nokir and Brookes mean more to me than anyone else. Everyone down in the underground of Coruscant stay together or they're dead. If your friends don't survive, neither do you."

Kirk nodded. "Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that."

Natie shrugged again and gave Kirk a smile, "I don't hurt easily. I'm pretty tough. Brookes just knows my weak side tends to come out when I least expect it to."

Kirk grimaced after he attempted to smile, "That's usually how it goes." He lifted his eyes. "You should go. The Chiss aren't too receptive to strangers."

Natie shook her head. "I'm not leaving you here in this condition," She said firmly, "Besides, I'm the one who told Nokir to go get backup."

Kirk frowned through his confusion, "You did, why?"

Natie's expression grew sullen, "Because both of us knew who the bomber was."

Mara shifted slightly as she poured through what seemed like the millionth record of bounty hunters recorded in recent years and even some that dated as far back as the rebellion, and none of them turned up anyone by the name Xillanor. If Jacen had known anything more about the bounty hunter, Mara couldn't ask him now. It seemed cruelly convenient that Jacen had been killed in a kidnapping attempt and that his death had hushed up any hints about who Xillanor was.

She threw the holo-record pad down in frustration just as the door to the apartment opened and closed.

"Mara?" Luke said, noticing both the look on her face and the files as well as data discs, and the now cracked holo-pad on the floor. He immediately placed the things he was carrying on the counter and came over to where Mara was sitting on the floor with her head hung low.

"We won't find him, Luke," She said dejectedly. Luke frowned with concern at how defeated Mara sounded. She was never this down no matter how impossible any task seemed.

"Were you trying to find Xillanor?" He asked. She nodded. Luke shook his head, "Then you won't find anything because as far as the New Republic is concerned, Xillanor doesn't exist."

Mara looked up at her husband. "What do you mean he doesn't exist?" She scowled at Luke, "He kidnapped our son, killed Jacen, and you're telling me he doesn't _exist_?"

Luke held up a hand and placed it comfortingly on her shoulder. "Not under the name Xillanor, he doesn't." Mara's eyes widened and then narrowed in comprehension. She nodded.

"Sorry, Luke, I'm just…" She averted her gaze and he knelt down on his knees so he was completely level with her.

"It's okay, I know. I'm worried too," He picked up the holo-pad and placed it on the table next to the couch next to them. Mara gave him a strange look.

"You do such a good job of hiding it," Mara pointed out. "One would think you didn't feel anything at all." Luke sighed.

"I don't view that as a good thing, though," Luke said, the clear weight of all the pain and confusion that had been circulating since the end of the Yuuzhan Vong war; the deaths of Zekk, Valin, and now Jacen. Then there was the fact that both Mara and Luke felt that Kyle was alive but that he was so far away that neither of them could get a reading on where he was.

"I don't understand it," Mara said, concentrating on the floor, "How could they mask where Kyle is?"

Luke let his resign show, "Because Kyle is a baby, Mara, whoever took him can easily manipulate his mind, anyone could do that if they wanted to. The difference is that we choose not to, though force knows we could."

Mara gave him a serious glare, "You mean that if Jedi wanted to, they could break into someone's mind and change it?"

Luke nodded hesitantly, the cold feeling of the truth rushing though him like icy hot water, "Yes."

Mara winced, "It's frightening to hear that from you."

"It's frightening to hear from anyone," Luke said, rubbing his temples. From the other room Luke heard the sound of Ben waking from his nap. The boy came into the living room, rubbing his eyes.

"Daddy?" Ben said with a yawn. "When's Kyle coming home?"

Luke reached out his arm and the small boy went under it and snuggled against his father's warm body. "Soon, Ben," Luke gave Mara a knowing look and she mentally withdrew from the subject. Someday Ben would understand what had happened, but for now they'd have to keep him safe from the truth.

Suddenly Luke's com-link beeped and he quickly pulled it out, "Skywalker," He said. "Wait, slow down, what happened?" Luke's expression turned grimly meditative. "I understand. No, I'll look into it myself, thanks, Wedge." Luke clicked off his comlink and turned to face Mara.

_What's wrong? _She commented mentally, sensing that whatever was going on, Ben shouldn't hear the details.

_Someone or something attacked the Sytars on Zenoma Sekot. Wedge wasn't able to figure out how or why. But one of the Sytars is missing._

_Missing? Why would someone kidnap a Sytar? _She asked, frowning outwardly, then corrected her expression before Ben noticed.

_That's what I'm going there to find out, _Luke replied and stood up, passing Ben, who had fallen back asleep, into Mara's arms.

"I'll be back," He said and kissed Mara before going to pick up his robe, lightsaber, blaster, and then was gone. Mara sighed before going to put Ben back into bed. After that she'd continue to search the records for anyone matching the description of Xillanor.

Anakin felt guilty leaving Jaina in the state she was, but he knew that he'd be placing more people in danger he continued to stay in Coruscant for too long. It was staying in one place, Anakin figured out, that made Jacen an easy target for kidnapping attempts. Anakin planned to avoid that as much as possible by moving around. It was tiring but he knew that the alternative was staying where he and the others were likely to become the victims of an attack by Xillanor.

The bounty hunter had good tracking skills, or else was strong in the force. Whichever the case, Anakin wanted to find out what he could from a distance before confronting the strange person. Anakin poured himself his third cup of coffee and continued to steer the ship on his force guided course, which was as random as conscious steering went. Upon Anakin's insistence, he was allowed to take the first shift of choosing _Madeline's _course. The small ship cruised smoothly through space and took in all surroundings on its radar. Sleep ate at Anakin's already dark lined eyes, but he wouldn't stop until they were in another remote location that Anakin deemed safe.

Tahiri's touch almost went unnoticed as Anakin's focus on the task intensified. "Hey, galaxy to Anakin." He started and turned his head to look at Tahiri, who seemed just as tired as he was.

"What're you doing up?" He asked.

She sighed as she took the co-pilot's chair. "Couldn't sleep," As if as on cue, she yawned. "I'm so tired but I can't fall asleep."

Anakin nodded as he looked back at the frontal viewport, "I couldn't either, not right now. So I took first shift."

Tahiri watched him silently for a moment before saying what she'd come to say to Anakin, "Listen, Anakin," Tahiri began, "You're not going to like this," She watched as his blue eyes narrowed expectantly, "But the only way we might be able to find out more about Xillanor," She breathed heavily, "Is to bait him."

Anakin's head abruptly jerked around, "_Bait _him? Are you out of your mind?" Anakin demanded.

"I said you weren't going to like it," She said with a sigh.

"Still," Anakin said, briefly switching the ship to auto-pilot so he could focus his attention on Tahiri. "Something like that could get one or all of us killed."

"Preferably neither," Tahiri put in.

"But it's a high probability," Anakin said, his voice cold with tension. "We can't risk that."

"Can't or won't?"

"Don't use that argument, Tahiri, this isn't a joke!" Anakin growled, his fears of running into Xillanor at the moment were directing his thoughts completely and he wasn't about to face them so close to Jacen's death.

"I'm not joking, Anakin," She said, folding her arms across her chest, "I think Xillanor will only come out when you're vulnerable."

Anakin's jaw tightened, "So who would be the bait, me?"

Tahiri lowered her gaze as she nodded. Anakin let loose a string of curses, "I don't believe this, you want me to go out and risk killing all of us so we attempt to draw out some information from Xillanor?"

Tahiri grimaced, "He didn't exactly deny your accusations about Jacen's death."

"He didn't tell me enough either," Anakin replied flatly. "What made you think I'd accept this?"

Tahiri lowered her gaze, "I didn't."

Anakin softened his gaze but his voice still remained firm, "So why would you suggest it?"

"It's just…" She bit her lip, "All this running away isn't going do anything for us. All we're doing is eliminating the places we can hide because Xillanor will track us to each one."

"So you think it's a better idea to face him head on?" Anakin asked coolly. He gritted his teeth. "Force, Tahiri, you really think I'd do anything that'd put you or anyone else here in danger?"

She shook her head, "I know you wouldn't, that's why I'm saying you should go to find Xillanor…. Alone." She almost didn't say the last word, her voice betraying her true thoughts about the idea. Anakin's eyes turned concerned as he saw her face. It was clear that she didn't actually want Anakin to leave but knew it was the only way.

"I don't think it'd be a good idea for me to go alone in either case," Anakin replied, closing his eyes as his brow creased as he mulled over the plan. "I'm going to think about it, but if I choose not to, that's it."

Tahiri nodded in a half relieved and half anxious way. Part of her wanted Anakin to continue to run and part of her knew that he wasn't meant to keep running while the rest of the galaxy suffered under Xillanor's constant barrage of randomized attacks. Where there was unrest, the Jedi had to create peace. It was part of the old code, but still the Jedi code nonetheless. Anakin, Tahiri knew, went by many of the rules of the old code subconsciously, but since his exposure to the void and the memories of all the masters, he did it more consciously than before.

This time, Anakin wouldn't have a choice but to do what would be best for his family and for his fellow Jedi, no matter if that meant leaving behind what he wanted the most.

Luke pulled out of hyperspace at Zenoma Sekot and touched his ship down lightly on one of the planet's rock platforms. Then he made his way down to the lower grassy ground where a small reception of Sytars was waiting.

"Jedi Master Skywalker, welcome to Zenoma Sekot," One of the Sytars said, "I am Kythor, and this is Dynthar," the male Sytar gestured to the Sytar on his left. He straightened and inclined his head as he stepped aside for the Sytar with the bluest skin Luke had ever seen.

"I am Mygrothor," The Sytar said, bowing his head, "I am the replacement for our late leader."

"My condolences for your loss," Luke said, returning the bow, "Did he die in the attack?"

The violet eyed Mygrothor nodded. His shoulders were broader and more muscled than the other Sytars. Luke wondered if the Sytar had taken on some training recently. "Yes," The leader replied, the cold heaviness of his tone told Luke that the attack was clearly spreading fear and anger among the Sytars. "We are not sure why we were attacked, but it came suddenly and left at least twenty dead."

Luke's eyes widened, for the Sytars, twenty was a lot to lose. Their kind had long been dying out even before the Yuuzhan Vong war stretched into the Outer Rim.

"I'm here to help find out who did this," Luke stated firmly, "If you'll allow for me to assist you, I'll do my best to see that justice is given for your loss."

Mygrothor inclined his head stiffly, "We gladly accept your help, Jedi Master Skywalker," He looked sadly over at the mounds of dirt that Luke guessed were the buried bodies of the fallen Sytars.

"You said the attack was unexpected, did you not hear the attack happening?" Luke asked, looking around him for any traces of an attack, but found none. The Sytar leader seemed to follow Luke's train of thought because he shook his head.

"The attackers, whoever they were, left no traces of who or what they were," Mygrothor's brow furrowed, "It is not the Yuuzhan Vong's fault, as many of us would like to think."

Luke detected the clear and utter bitter hatred in all the Sytars, especially in Mygrothor's eyes and tone. The leader of the Sytars was practically radiating an aura of pure revenge. His eyes were calculating and thirsted for blood. Luke knew better than to play to that mentality, once Luke found out who or what was responsible, he'd bring the guilty party before the New Republic first. He wouldn't let there be more bloodshed over this than was necessary.

Luke felt a chill run down his spine as he faced the question he would inevitably have to ask. "I don't wish to intrude on your mourning, but would it be possible for me to examine one of the bodies?"

Mygrothor nodded, "I was told you might wish to see a body, so we left one out," He gestured to his left where a Sytar's dried out body lay. Luke walked over and knelt next to it, first scanning it with the force for any signs of internal injury and then used his eyes. Finding nothing, he checked all the vital spaces on the body. Nothing seemed to have been harmed from the outside. Mygrothor had been right: it was too clean for Yuuzhan Vong, or for any rogue fighters. There was only one kind of warrior that could kill like this and Luke knew deep down who had killed the Sytars.

"You should post sentries out every night from now on," Luke said as he stood up, his frown deepening, "The Jedi Order will send some of our own to protect you."

Mygrothor nodded, "I appreciate your offer for protection, but why is that necessary? Our warriors are strong enough on their own."

Luke nodded, "I know your warriors are brave but the attackers are dark Jedi," he felt his own stomach twisting in knots at the thought, "You need Jedi to fight other Jedi."

Mygrothor looked gravely at Luke, "I did not know that Jedi could be ignoble."

Luke stiffened as he threw a severe look at the body of the Sytar, "We aren't," He replied, "Sith are."

Natie looked up as the medics finished putting Kirk and Soontir onto stretchers. Nokir was standing and talking to an officer about the event. He was honest but the officer continued to look coldly impassive.

"You say this attacker is an acquaintance of yours and you are not responsible for this attack?"

"That is correct, Sir," Nokir answered stiffly. The officer regarded Nokir with a frown.

"Yet you knew exactly where to find the attacker and you knew to call a medical squad," The officer shook his head, "This does not line up with your claim of innocence, Former Major Kel."

Soontir jerked his head around from its position on the stretcher and held up his hand for the stretcher to halt. "Kel?" The Baron's cold voice repeated, "Nokir Kel?"

"Yes, Sir," The officer replied, "That's who he claims to be." Soontir waved the medics to turn the stretcher around and they brought it around so the Baron could look at Nokir more carefully.

"Yes, I recall you, Kel," The Baron said slowly, "A loyal soldier until a mission went awry. Cold feet and a failure were all that the military remembered of you," Soontir's eyes looked disappointed, "I saw potential in you, Kel."

The young Chiss stiffened, "I apologize, Uncle Fel."

Natie glanced up from the place she had at Kirk's stretcher's side, "Uncle?"

Nokir grimaced, "Baron Fel is my father's brother." The Chiss in question continued to look sober and averted his gaze.

"You must face the consequences for your actions, Kel," The Baron said firmly. "Involvement in an attack is treason."

"I understand, Sir," Nokir said and gave Natie a weak smile before two of the troopers escorted him out.

"How come he couldn't argue for his nephew?" Natie whispered to Kirk, who looked sadly at his friend.

"Because it's not his choice," Kirk answered in flat voice that carried a pained undertone, "Baron Fel answers to his older brother, Janisor Kel, the King of the Chiss."

"They have a monarchy?" Natie asked, her stunned face glancing at Baron Fel and then back at Kirk.

"Yes, for a long time," Kirk replied, "Soontir handles most military business but the matter of family goes straight to the parents, namely the king and queen." Kirk watched as Soontir waved for the stretchers to move forward. Kirk's tension clearly showed on his face because Natie looked at him with soft eyes.

"Will Nokir be okay?" She asked tentatively. Kirk honestly didn't know since he'd never met the Chiss King. He'd only heard about the king from Soontir in stories. Most of them depicted the king as both ruthless as well as firm on decisions.

"I don't know," Kirk answered in a low defeated tone. Natie glanced at Kirk with fear in her eyes.

"What do you mean you don't know? Nokir could be executed," She said and scowled at Kirk's lack of words. "Kirk, are you just going to let them kill Nokir?"

Kirk gave Natie a sympathetic look, "There's nothing we can do that wouldn't jeopardize the trust that Nokir is already at risk of losing from his father."

"So we're just going to do nothing?" She asked. Kirk nodded, before he realized how little he could move his head without his mind feeling airy.

"Go back to Brookes, Natie…" Kirk said before he passed out on the stretcher. The medic cast a furtive glance back at Kirk before motioning to his partner to speed up, leaving Natie standing helplessly in the middle of the hallway.

She then made her way to the outside of the palace where she found Brookes waiting.

"Where did you go?" He demanded. "I had to interrogate Nokir to get your location and you're here of all places?!" Brookes growled.

Natie didn't say anything, a clear indication that something was wrong. "Where's Nokir?" Brookes asked.

Natie shook her head, "He's been arrested for treason."

Brookes jaw nearly dropped but instead he tightened it, "What? Why?"

She shook her head several times over, "He's the Chiss King's son, so he has to face trial directly from his father."

Brookes' expression turned from one of disbelief to pure incredulousness, "He's the prince of the Chiss?"

Natie nodded wordlessly. Brookes gave a hopeful smile, "Well, that's good, isn't it? His father wouldn't want to execute him… would he?" Brookes' smile faltered as he saw the tears forming in his sister's eyes, "Oh, Natie." She then leaned her head on her brother's shoulder and he hugged her tightly, knowing full well that it was out of their hands. This was the vulnerability that Natie had told Kirk would come out easily. She was quick to anger and to hurt even if she was normally so strong and resilient to violent or trying situations.

Brookes' gritted his teeth, "It's because of Kirk, isn't it?" He pulled away as soon as Natie had calmed down. He spat on the ground, a clear sign of disrespect and hatred from Brookes. With some it was just an insult, but when Brookes spat, he meant it in the worst way possible: it meant that Kirk was now his enemy.

"I'm surprised they let you go," Brookes said, the cold not leaving his voice, "Didn't you know the attacker? Nokir mentioned that you did."

Natie nodded reluctantly, "He was an old friend of Nokir's, I met him while you were still working at the hospital. He's the one who told me about Nokir's situation."

Brookes opened his mouth and then shut it. If that was true, they had almost gotten involved with someone who clearly wanted the Baron, a member of the Chiss royal family, dead. "Kriff it, we need to get out of here. It isn't safe."

Natie scowled at her brother in disbelief, "And leave Nokir to die?"

Brookes grunted his anger and frustration, "Look, Nates, we don't have a choice, okay? These are the Chiss we're talking about. They don't forgive people who are involved in a murder attempt, especially one involving their leaders. We need to leave. Now." He stated and grabbed his sister's arm.

"Natie, come on," Brookes said, his eyes flaring at his sister's lack of cooperation. She shook her head and pulled herself free.

"Nokir is my brother, Brookes," She said frostily, "If you aren't willing to rescue him, then I've only got one brother left who matters."

Brookes stared at Natie with flaring eyes and a clear disapproval that was laced with a sense of loss. He'd clearly expected differently of Natie because he averted his gaze. "If you're going to get involved with a Jedi who doesn't give two shits about you or me, Natasha," Brookes leveled his eyes with her, "Then you can do it alone." He started to walk away.

Natie's eyes hardened with the pure fiery anger that she now felt towards her brother, "I don't believe you, Brookes, how can you just up and leave your best friend behind!"

"I don't believe that you would side with the enemy!" Brookes snarled back, "Kirk is a traitor, don't you get that? He's breaking apart the bond we have! You should have left him to die. He's not our family," The vehemence hadn't left either of their voices and neither gave any ground.

"Fine," Natie resigned, "If you don't want to help, then I'll bust Nokir out by myself." She stood still, as Brookes averted his gaze as he turned away, his head facing his sister once before he walked away towards his ship.

"I thought you were different, Natie," He said in an almost bitter whisper, the hurt evident as he eyed with a lack of recognition, "I don't know what I was thinking, believing that we were in this together." He then faced the streets as he strode away. Natie watched him go before turning to go back inside the Chiss building.

**A/N- Intense ending, I know. More will be on its way after I finish a few things around the house. =) As always, reviews are appreciated! **


	28. Once and Always

**Chapter 27**

**Once and Always**

_A/N- I'm sitting here with my mug of hot apple cider and some yummy chocolate while I write this chapter. I hope everyone is enjoying reading this story as much as I am writing it. =) _

_It's the weekend!!! Awesome, right? The weekend means only one thing:_

… _And no, it's not me going out on a date because I don't have a boyfriend, LOL. (Okay too much information). _ _

_Yes, you guessed it!! _

_More postings!! Piles upon piles of postings!! And this goes for all my stories!! _

_I love weekends, don't you?_

_Well, you know what I'm going to say about the hit/review count, so I'll skip over that. Chapter 33, people, that's the cut off!! Get cracking!! _

_(Nobody has guessed the nerd joke I made with the names of two of my characters- first person to guess is automatically allowed to have chapters sent to them regardless of their current standing with the reviews- IN ORDER TO OFFICIALLY WIN YOU HAVE TO SUBMIT YOUR ANSWER __**IN ADDITION TO**__ YOUR ACTUAL COMMENTS IN A REVIEW. NO PMS WILL BE ACCEPTED). _

_Most of all: Enjoy the posting!_

_Oh, and I put up my OC poll on my profile for this story, so don't forget to vote! _

_Cheers,_

_-Don =)_

* * *

"All set, Sparky?"

"Almost," Anakin replied, casting a glance at Tahiri, who stood next to the ramp. She held her arm tentatively. Adrock looked between the two and stepped off the ship.

"I'll be outside when you're ready, Sparky," As soon as Adrock was off the ship, Anakin walked over to Tahiri.

"So, I'll probably not be using my mind bond to talk with you that much. If you need to talk to me, it's better to use coded messaging." Anakin said, glancing to his side at the control board, which was equipped with a coding system.

"Right," Tahiri said, still standing awkwardly. Even though it had been her idea for Anakin to go and find Xillanor on his own, Tahiri wasn't too happy with the solution he'd come up with to resolve his "alone" part of the deal. After a long argument between them, Tahiri finally relented to accepting Anakin's alternative. As much as she didn't want him to go alone, she liked his choice of company even less than Anakin probably did.

So, a few hours later found them at the location designated as the hideout of the Fallen Knights and Jesse Veila. Tahiri found little comfort in the fact that Adrock was the only person in the group besides Anakin that she trusted and even that trust in Adrock was a little flaky.

"You guys should follow the route I mapped out," Anakin continued, trying his best to ignore the apprehension in the air. "Tahiri, you're the one who knows the planets I mentioned the best, so make sure that you use the safest routes to them."

"Don't worry, we'll manage," She answered with a confident nod. Anakin rubbed the back of his neck, letting his own misgiving show a little.

"Yeah, I know," He said with a shaky laugh. "Well, I'd better get going." He moved close enough to Tahiri to kiss her briefly on the lips before he started away. Tahiri grabbed him by the arm and then hugged him hard. Anakin tried to send comfort to her, but didn't have much to give since he had little himself. This was probably the closest thing to suicide without it actually being that.

"I love you, Anakin," She said a gently fierce voice, "You know that, right?"

He nodded, "I know," Anakin kissed her head before whispering in her ear, "If I'm not back in a month, tell everyone in the Jedi council about this." Then he paused and said in a normal voice, "I love you, Tahiri, take care of yourself?"

"Same to you," She said with a weak grin. He smiled and then walked down the ramp, which closed soon after. The ship started away and suddenly Tahiri heard the crinkling of clothing as James shook his head.

"That was a tearful goodbye," He said sardonically. Wynn smacked him in the stomach.

"Don't be obnoxious, James," She said with a sharp glare.

"Sorry," He said, "I was just trying to lighten up the situation," James threw an apologetic look at Tahiri, who continued to stare blankly into space. Gi-Nego came in, his eyes scanning the scene before him.

"No use in regretting a decision once you've made it," The Ewok said sagely, "Indecisiveness will only lead to more pain and tragedy." The Jedi Master regarded Tahiri for a moment before continuing. "You made a wise decision, Tahiri. Though it may not seem like it now, it will come in time to prove fruitful."

She nodded mutely before straightening, "I know that I suggested it, but I can't help but feel like I just sent Anakin on a one way mission."

"Nah, he wouldn't kick it," James said with a knowing grin, "You'd kill him if he did."

"James!" Wynn glared at him. A grin twitched its way onto Tahiri's face.

"Yeah, I would." She said and then sighed before going to the dashboard to pull up the routes Anakin had planned out. He gave us a rendezvous point that we'll meet at in a month. Until then we're following his instructions to move from planet to planet."

James frowned as he thought about the plan, "Wouldn't it be better if we went on a completely random course?"

Tahiri shook her head, "No, because Anakin planned it so that if we keep on schedule he can find us when he's done."

"Oh," James blinked and then his expression of contemplation turned to approval, "That's pretty ingenious."

"Unlike someone else," Wynn muttered. James shot her a glare before returning his attention to Tahiri as she concentrated on setting their course for the first planet.

"Aren't you worried?" Wynn asked. Tahiri nodded without turning around.

"Of course I am," She sucked in her breath, "But if Anakin is out there risking his life, I have to do something too."

She remembered what he had told her following her agreement to the plan:

"_Listen, Tahiri," Anakin said, "We're going to be in separate places, but we're both going to be doing something crucial to finding out about Xillanor." He shifted his eyes to the door before looking back at Tahiri, "Only you can really fight if Xillanor decides to go after you guys instead of me. I want you to promise me that if that happens: that you'll get to a safe location where you can contact mom, dad, or Uncle Luke, promise me that." _

"_Why would you think I wouldn't?"_

_Anakin threw a furtive glance at the door, "Because," He gave her a hard stare, "You might want to find me right away," He gave her shoulder a squeeze, "You have to promise me that you'll get the word to them about anything you find out about Xillanor. That's why we're doing this. If we die before we can tell anyone it'll have been a pointless sacrifice." _

"_Anakin, you're not going to die, so why-?" _

"_I'll be trying my best to come back, but on the outside chance that my escape plans and defenses fail," He sighed, "I need you to take the data I send you straight to someone we can trust because Xillanor will probably sense that he's being set up. When he does, he'll either kill me or try to kill you."_

"_I promise," She said. "But don't forget that if you're going to die, I'm going to be with you."_

_Anakin shook his head, "Not this time," He replied, "This time you need to get the data to trustworthy hands, even if it means you have to leave me behind for a while."_

"_I'm holding you to your promise to come back, Anakin, so don't even think about it," She said coldly. He grinned. _

"_As long as you know what to do, I'm okay with that," He smiled. "There's something else."_

_Tahiri looked at him, "The route I planned out is made so that I can find out where you are based on what day it is. You need to keep the ship on schedule." He ran his hand nervously through his hair, "It takes you straight through all the routes that Xillanor might be taking. So if you run into him first, you need to contact me or the nearest planet straight away." _

"_Why are you so convinced that Xillanor will find me before you?"_

"_Because Xillanor isn't stupid, he'll know it's a hoax for information from the get-go. You're more likely to get some information out of him than I am. If he attacks you instead of me it's up to you to get the data and run." Anakin tightened his grip on her shoulder, "Please, I need to know that you'll get out of there safely." _

"_So you're saying we're as much the bait as you are?" Tahiri asked. He nodded._

"_Separating is exactly what he wants us to do. We're both taking a fair risk," Anakin fixated Tahiri with a firm stare. "I need your word, Tahiri."_

_She squeezed his hand, "I promise, Anakin." _

_He smiled in relief. "Good," He said with a shaky laugh. _

There was enough of a threat to both groups to go around and Tahiri wasn't about to increase the risk by running amok of Anakin's planned routes. She took a deep breath and got ready for the plunge.

Jaina woke up for the fourth time that night, unable to keep images of both Zekk and Jacen out of her mind. She was also too wary of the constant surveillance by doctors, even while she slept: at least one doctor was on shift in her room, making sure she didn't attempt to kill herself again. Not that Jaina planned to try. She was through with trying to erase her pain by killing herself. It didn't seem worth it. Even though her life now was seemingly worthless, she still knew it was equally as useless to end her life right now.

It was also beginning to bother Jaina that she was all too willing to try that kind of drastic action in the first place. In the past something like that would never have crossed her mind. The very thought would have frightened her, and that's what was disturbing Jaina right now. Had she changed so much that she couldn't even keep her own life together? _I've changed enough that I don't even recognize myself anymore, _Jaina thought, _I wasn't this bitter, even when the Yuuzhan Vong war was going on, I wasn't this demented until Zekk died. Now I'm just a stupid idiot who doesn't know what she wants anymore._

Jaina drew her knees up to her chest and she leaned her chin against them and then turned her head so her cheek was pressed against the sheets. The worst part of the whole situation was that there wasn't a thing that Jaina could do to undo anything that had happened. The moment Jacen's lightsaber was in her hand, it was already on its way to making her into a patient destined to be watched for the rest of her life. Nobody trusted her like they used to. Not even Jaina's parents wanted Jaina to be by herself.

Her entire life was already crashing down over her head. Jaina wondered how Tenel Ka managed to get through every day with Jacen gone. Jaina shook her head, Tenel Ka was strong.

_But she loved Jacen._

**I loved him too, I still love him.**

_She was in love with him, though._

**Does it matter? The point is we both miss him.**

_Zekk's death affected you in the same way that Jacen's affected Tenel Ka._

**So she's miserable and won't ever fall in love again?**

_Torn up, yes, but not miserable. _

**I don't get how she does it. She's always been so strong.**

_Even the strong have a moment of weakness. It comes at the most inopportune moments._

**Like me trying to kill myself?**

_Yes. But you know now that it wasn't the right choice._

**I'm still debating that.**

_Don't. There will be a path for you when you're well enough to stand up again, but for now, let someone else help you, Jaina._

**You're the force, aren't you?**

_Your mind's version of it, yes._

**There are versions of it for everyone?**

_Of course. The force is life, and there are many forms of life. It must come in all forms to accommodate each living being's needs._

**Needs?**

_Wants do not matter because in time what you truly need overcomes the wants that don't matter._

**What if I want something that I can't get?**

_Then it isn't the right thing for you to desire. It will only bring pain._

**I won't fall in love again. I know I won't.**

_Even love that begins and continues throughout life with the same person requires love to be restarted over and over again as beings change._

**But the person I loved is dead. What am I supposed to do if he's dead?**

_Well, isn't that what we all want to know?_

**Yes. **

_Do you need to know what to do or should you just go and find out?_

**Has anyone ever told you how incredibly and insufferably obnoxious you are?**

The force, if it could have laughed, did so. _Many times, Jaina, many times. You are loved, and in time it won't matter through whom that is made clear. _

Jaina looked around the room for a moment before leaning back against the pillows, her eyes drooped. It hurt so much to just live with the loss and remember every moment that made her smile with Jacen or every moment that frustrated her and made her laugh with Zekk. Both of them made her feel and understand things should wouldn't have otherwise.

**Where do I go from here? **

_**Well, why don't you go find out?**_

Jaina let a small smile cross her lips. _Fine, be that way. _The force didn't respond but Jaina knew it was smirking at her in an understanding way.

With a brief mental preparation, Natie slipped on her helmet and began to make her way through the hallways. She'd managed to figure out from the map she got from Nokir where all the rooms were in the palace, but it was still a hassle getting from one to another without being noticed or without getting disoriented since all the rooms and hallways looked exactly the same.

_They obviously don't care much about interior decorating,_ Natie commented to herself with wry smile. _Though frankly, neither do I. _

Natie paused behind a wall as she heard footfalls on the sleek and shiny floor below her. Two armored guards passed by and then stopped briefly to check the doors to the rooms before continuing walking on their patrol.

"Apparently one of the brats got caught getting his hands stained," One of the guards said to the other. Natie stiffened.

"Oh, yeah? And did his father bail him out?" The other asked with sarcasm, a tone Natie didn't think she'd ever hear from a Chiss.

"You kidding?" The first guard asked, stopping completely, "The prince is in prison right now, they're sentenced him to exile on pain of death."

The second guard snorted, "About time someone showed the kids how to behave. There're all an embarrassment to the Chiss. I heard that Cem Fel has a death penalty on his head."

"Cem Fel?" The first whistled tonelessly, "Talk about shameful. The traitor probably deserves it."

"Yeah, just wait, all of them will screw up one way or another, and then we'll get someone real in power."

"That'll be the day," The first mused and the two guards disappeared down the hallway, leaving Natie silently dreading what busting a condemned prisoner out would mean. But she had to try. It was her responsibility to help Nokir since he'd always given her his entire effort no matter the cost. He'd protected her on countless occasions, helped train her in combat techniques, and even helped her to get into the Chiss palace to save Kirk's life. Nokir had been nothing but a loyal and trustworthy friend to both Natie and Brookes.

If Brookes didn't realize that, then he really had something else coming. Natie glanced down at the map before tucking it back into her pocket. Luckily the prison was connected to the palace. It was through a series of passageways that were heavily guarded but Natie wasn't unprepared. She had explosives to get through the doors and a blaster to stun or kill the guards if need be.

She slowly made her way down the hall, silencing her footsteps as much as possible until she got to the first set of prison doors. Two heavily armed guards stood there and the two guards she'd seen before were going in. Natie grinned and pulled out her blaster, set it on stun and then fired fire consecutive shots. Four thuds rewarded her efforts and she came out into the open long enough for the fifth guard to blindside her with his blaster. The laser struck the underside of her chest plate and she grimaced and then shot the guard with the stun laser, which was more than he deserved.

Natie sucked in her breath, ignoring the pain from her injury as she ran down the corridor towards the second door, she ducked behind a wall and pulled out a detonator. She threw it and waited as the explosive blew a hole in the metal door and knocked the two guards unconscious or dead, she couldn't tell and wasn't planning to stick around to find out.

The clattering of boots on the floor startled Natie to set her blaster on regular firing mode and she waited as the doors opened to the far end of the prison opened, and to her surprise eight guards were escorting Nokir who was wearing stun cuffs on his hands.

As soon as the guards saw Natie they raised their blaster rifles and one of them began to talk quickly into his comlink. Nokir's eyes widened in horror as the scene unfolded before him: Natie having a clearly outnumbered firefight with the guards as more made their way down the halls to the prison. Nokir's eyes narrowed and he elbowed the nearest guard in the lower region before turning and hitting the guard in the neck. The guard toppled and Nokir grabbed the key to unlock his stun cuffs. He caught a blast from one of the guards behind him but that was all the guard managed to get in before he was blasted into the wall by the blaster Nokir had taken from the guard's fallen comrade.

He blasted the remaining guards and then turned to Natie. "What are you doing here, Natie?" He demanded, "I am under the penalty of exile. Your attempt to break me out will be considered a crime and the guards will kill you."

Natie grunted, "That's the thanks I get for trying to help you, Nokir?" She shook her head, "See if I ever help _you _again."

Nokir frowned deeply, "This is not a joke, Natie. The Chiss take law and punishment seriously here. Prison breaks are punished under pain of death, no matter who you are."

Natie's eyes widened, "You're kidding. They're that serious?"

He nodded, "I would have been fine with being exiled. I left my life here a long time ago," He glanced around and then pulled Natie to the side as a blast stuck the wall where she'd been standing a moment before. He fired shots down the hall and gritted his teeth. More guard squads in addition to troops were probably on their way. They were also coming with every intention of killing both Nokir and Natie.

"We must get you out of here," He said, hastily firing another shot before grasping Natie's arm and backing down the opposite way she had come. "There's a back entrance down this way. I can take you there but you'll probably be the only one who can get out." Nokir glanced as more blaster fire came from both the front entrance from the palace and the side passageway that Nokir had been escorted from. Three dozen guards began firing heavily on the two, and despite both of their skills and excellent aim, they were still too outnumbered for that to make any difference.

"What am I going to tell Brookes if you get killed?" Nokir demanded angrily as he fired five shots, taking down five guards with them. Ten more took their places and behind them several squads of armored troops appeared followed two officers in full armor as well.

"Surrender, Nokir Kel, you are hereby sentenced to death for disobeying the laws of our prisoner," The officer, whose rank was Colonel, ordered. "You will be executed in time but your companion will be shot here. Lay down your weapons."

The second officer stiffened at Nokir's defiant expression, "Now! Put down your weapons!"

"I will not," Nokir said firmly, he reached behind him and into Natie's belt for a detonator. "Let her die by your hand." He then shoved Natie backwards into the exit tunnel as he thrust the detonator forward followed by his own body as he fired rapidly.

Anakin found himself inevitably unable to stop feeling suspicious of Jesse Veila, and he knew why, but it didn't allay his severe misgivings. Jesse was the last person Anakin would want to trust his life with, with the exception of Emperor Palpatine and Xillanor, the latter of which the very person Anakin was trying to survive his encounter with.

Jesse regarded Anakin carefully, "How do you plan to find this Xillanor?"

"How else? I'm going to contact him through the force," Anakin stated, hating the very idea of the plan.

"You're leaving us to be an open target for a fighter attack." Jesse pointed out. They were already hovering in space. Jesse had two fighters of his own, piloted by his top Fallen Knights, and then there was the small cargo ship he, Anakin and two other Fallen Knights were aboard. Adrock hovered off to the side in his X-Wing, keeping track of their surrounding with his radar.

"That's the idea," Anakin said, sucking in his breath. He only hoped he wasn't going to be killed right away, or the mission will have been for nothing. At least Anakin wanted to get something out of the demented Xillanor's mind. If Anakin could condemn the bounty hunter for the death of Jacen, Anakin would be able to at least report that to the New Republic and the Jedi Order.

"I'm going to contact him, get ready," Anakin said and closed his eyes. _Xillanor, we're at the remains of Alderaan. If you want to talk, let's talk._

Anakin listened through the force for a response but none came. He only heard the low whispering of Jesse and the other Fallen Knights. Suddenly Adrock's voice crackled through the ship's com channel. "I've got something."

Anakin's eyes snapped open and he went to the dashboard and brought up the radar. A small fleet of fighters were approaching their location and fast. Anakin felt a chill run down his spine. It was Xillanor all right and Anakin knew that Xillanor knew that Anakin was almost completely alone.

"Hello again, Anakin Solo," Xillanor's crisp voice came through the channel.

"Xillanor," Anakin said with a cold affirmation.

"Oh, come now," Xillanor said in a mock affronted tone, "Don't act so cold, or one might think you didn't want to see me at all."

"I didn't honestly," Anakin said frostily, "But I had some questions for you."

Anakin could feel Xillanor's clear satisfaction of Anakin's anger through the force. "Then ask, Anakin Solo. So we both might be on our way."

Anakin grimaced, "If I didn't know any better, I'd say _you _were the one who didn't want to be here."

Xillanor laughed, "Very intuitive response, Anakin. You're sharp witted as you are cunning," His voice changed to one of feigned urgency, "But I have a delivery to complete. It's important, so ask your questions quickly."

"I don't believe you," Anakin stated. Jesse threw Anakin a warning glance. The fighters behind Xillanor's wolf-like ship were getting into an attack formation. "You're always looking for a chance to kill more Jedi, aren't you?"

Xillanor smiled serenely, "Is that your first question? Because my answer is no, I don't look for opportunities to kill Jedi," The bounty hunter's tone changed to one of hostility, "In fact, I only kill those who get in the way of my payment for my job."

"So Jacen was in your way?" Anakin demanded, the anger rising in his voice.

"In a manner of speaking, yes," Xillanor answered in a cool tone. "I'll allow for one more question before I ask you to stand aside."

Anakin smiled, Xillanor knew how to play this game well. But Anakin had Han Solo for a father. "Sorry, but I have a few more, that I'm sure you'll be happy to answer."

Xillanor frowned, "Oh? What might those be?"

Anakin scowled, "Why did you kill the Sytars on Zenoma Sekot?"

The next day Jaina was released from the hospital to her parents' apartment. Leia tried not to hover over Jaina, but in truth, Jaina appreciated her mother's presence. It was easier to cope with the emptiness when someone else was around.

Han was off searching the prisoners for someone related to a ghost, so Jaina wasn't entirely sure when her father would be back. Knowing him, it wasn't going to be without some form of conflict with another person or group of hostile aliens. Or both. Jaina felt herself laugh inside at the thought of a typical Solo family mission.

Her family was well known for getting into trouble they usually couldn't get out of without some amount of struggle, which usually involved massive damages to whatever place they were running from or to: or, once again, both.

With a sigh, Jaina vacated the couch and moved to go to the balcony. She opened the doors and stood there, letting the wind wash over her face. After a serious talk with Ky'ghal, Leia managed to convince the hospital that Jaina was well enough to go home. The hospital agreed under the condition that Jaina check in with a therapist. Instead Leia offered that Jaina go and talk with Luke instead, since Luke knew Jaina much better and he was good at helping his students to find their points of relaxation more easily than a therapist would. Jaina was grateful for the alternative and readily agreed.

Unfortunately Luke Skywalker had just come back from visiting Zenoma Sekot and had an immediate message to deliver so he wasn't able to talk to Jaina. In her place, Mara offered to talk to Jaina.

So now Jaina was waiting with some unease for her aunt to arrive so she could get the painful mandatory "shrink" session over with. A knock on the door and a familiar presence told Jaina that Mara had arrived. Jaina nodded to Leia and then crossed to the door.

Mara entered, and gave Jaina a hug before stepping inside. To Jaina's surprise, Ben entered too. "I was wondering if you might take Ben out for a while, Leia." Mara said. Leia looked reluctant but then nodded at Mara's assurance through the force that she could handle things.

"Come on, Ben, Aunt Leia is going to take you to the park," Leia said in a sing-song voice to the boy.

"The park!" The boy exclaimed and was out the door faster than one could say "Millennium Falcon."

Mara then turned to Jaina. "Now let's see, how about we go into the kitchen? I have some recipes I'd like to try."

Jaina looked hesitant, "Um, Aunt Mara, we're supposed to be having a therapist session, not a bake off."

Mara shrugged, "No sense in doing the whole couch and notebook routine. That always stresses people out more, I think. Besides, baking is relaxing," She flashed Jaina a smile, "Isn't that the point?"

Jaina felt herself readily agree. She really didn't want to sit and "talk about her feelings," on the couch. So Jaina rolled the sleeves to her sweatshirt, briefly receiving a glance from Mara at her niece's bandaged wrists, before Mara pulled out the recipe scrawled on the piece of paper.

"Now, I'm going to show you how to make a Tatooine specialty that always has Luke completely at your command," Mara winked at Jaina.

"If it's from Tatooine, how come Uncle Luke can't make it?" Jaina asked with a curious look at her aunt.

"Because the only thing more dangerous than your uncle with a lightsaber," Mara began with a conspiratorial grin, "Is Luke with a spatula."

Jaina burst out laughing and began to pull the ingredients out of the cabinets and then the fridge. Upon seeing the orange juice in there, Jaina was reminded of the day that Jacen had told their parents that he'd had sex with Tenel Ka and that the two young adults were about to become parents. Jacen had dropped the orange juice carton when the Solo parents walked in. Jaina smiled briefly at the memory. It wasn't one Jacen would want to relive but Jaina found it pleasantly nostalgic because it represented a moment of acceptance of Jacen's love for Tenel Ka and the future they would have had: a family.

"Jaina," Mara said gently, "You don't have to talk about anything the doctors want you to. But I want you to know this: I'm here to listen if you decide you want to talk about anything. It doesn't really matter to me."

Jaina gave Mara a grateful smile, "Thanks, Aunt Mara," Jaina said, "But I'm not ready yet."

The older woman shrugged, "No matter, we can just focus on a treat for Luke and Leia for when they come home." She began to measure out the sugar and Jaina decided to let things lie how they were. When the time was right, she would talk about Jacen and Zekk, but for now, baking was fine.

Natie's cry was lost under the screaming of the lasers as they struck Nokir all over his body. The young Chiss wasn't through though, He continued to fire his blaster, and briefly turned to see if Natie was gone. But she wasn't. She was rushing out of the tunnel with her blaster in hand.

"Natie, no! Go back!" Nokir yelled as another blast struck him in the shoulder. Two more struck his legs and he took four more guards down in response.

"I'm not leaving without you!" Natie growled, "That's why I came here in the first place!" The wall of the tunnel suddenly exploded in flames as an armored figure stepped through.

"The hell?" Came the sharp voice of Brookes as he appeared. He raised his blaster rifle and let loose his fire on all of the guards, taking down ten at once. He glanced at his sister. "You okay, Natie?"

She nodded wordlessly. She should have guessed that Brookes wouldn't abandon either of his siblings. "Brookes, I'm sorry," She said loudly enough for him to hear over the blaster fire.

He blasted two more guards away, "Forget about it. We're siblings, this is where I belong." As their attention was diverted, two squadrons appeared on the other side of the hallway, just next to the tunnel, cutting off the way in. Brookes noticed a fraction of a second before two blaster lasers struck him in his chest. He grimaced. The lasers were designed to penetrate armor like his and Natie's. Nokir, who had no armor, was fading. Brookes gave Nokir a glance, and the Chiss nodded. The two moved closer to Natie and pulled out the last of her detonators, with both men holding one each, they paused before opening fire on either side then shoved Natie forward through the rubble filled tunnel just before the threw their detonators to seal it.

The explosions only served to blind Natie enough that she could barely make out her two brothers through the cracks in the rocks falling before a heavy barrage of fire. Nokir fell first, his entire body bloodied and battered beyond recognition. Brookes saw her and fired a blast to hit one of the enemies before flashing his sister a grin. Then five blasts took him, his knees buckled and Brookes fell to the floor.

Natie started running, and didn't stop until she reached the end of the tunnel. Once outside, she gritted back her tears and stared back at the partly demolished prison. Now she really was alone.

**A/N- Next posting will be when I get home from work Saturday. Thanks for reading! =)**


	29. Departures

**Chapter 28**

**Departures**

_A/N- I believe some of you will probably be thinking that this chapter is long over-do but I was trying not to rush this for a reason, so please don't be mad. _

_Okay, this is the five chapter warning: IN FIVE CHAPTERS, ONLY THOSE READERS WHO HAVE ALREADY REVIEWED AND/OR GIVEN CONSTANT FEEDBACK FOR THIS SERIES WILL BE SENT THE STORY'S UPDATES IF THE REVIEW/HIT COUNT IS DOES NOT MEET THE FOLLOWING:_

_THERE MUST BE AT LEAST FIVE HITS PER EACH CHAPTER OF THIS STORY._

_THERE MUST BE AT LEAST TEN MORE REVIEWS FROM DIFFERENT REVIEWERS (PER EACH REVIEW) AT LEAST BY THE TIME I POST CHAPTER 33 (I mean chapter 33 by the chapters listed in the actual documents not in the listing on the top of the page)._

_If you've already reviewed in the past before I started posting these warnings and you have given feedback, this will not affect you. But those who are silently reading might want to review more and/or get more readers to up the hit count. _

_I don't like doing this and I don't want to make this a standing obligation. Granted, I only plan to keep this in place (assuming the hit/review counts don't increase) for at least fifteen chapters after 33. Depending on how long the story ends up being, it might be for the rest of the story. Please, for your sakes as well as mine, make the effort to be proactive readers: I'm just asking for feedback here. _

_Thank you to all of you who have kept up with the story for this long and welcome to any newcomers! _

_Best,_

_-Don =)_

* * *

"Why did I kill the Sytars? I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about," Xillanor said, his frown felt by Anakin through the force. He gritted his teeth.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Xillanor," Anakin said coldly, "I sensed the death of all the Sytars and I sense that one of them is on board your ship."

Xillanor smiled wryly, "It seems you have some experience with those who lack the force."

"Everyone has a force presence, some aren't force strong though," Anakin replied curtly, "That's not the point."

"Indeed, it is not," Xillanor said in a brisk, business-like tone. "Your point, Anakin Solo, make it."

Anakin felt his force senses ringing out with a sharp warning, but he decided to ignore it for the time being. "Why do you want the Sytar you captured?"

"I never said I had one," Xillanor said calmly.

"You never denied it either," Anakin argued evenly. For a moment the channel fell silent and Anakin's tension never halted its increasing course.

"No, I did not," Xillanor affirmed, "But I have also yet to see your proof."

Anakin's already angered mind snapped and he lashed out with his mind, reaching into Xillanor's defenses and tearing through them for a brief moment before the bounty hunter threw Anakin back out. The sudden attack had thrown Xillanor off balance enough for Anakin to confirm that the missing Sytar his uncle had messaged Anakin about was on board Xillanor's ship.

"If that will be all," Xillanor said coldly. It was clear that the normally composed and charismatic bounty hunter was through with the formalities.

"Yes," Anakin replied, his own voice low, "We're through here."

Xillanor's fleet then launched itself at the small ship and the fighters surrounding it returned fire. Anakin threw himself into the gunner's seat and began to fire rapidly with what weapons the tiny ship did have.

A blast struck the ship and sent it spinning backwards. Anakin grimaced as his body was thrown roughly against his crash webbing.

"Get to the next vector," Xillanor said over his channel. "I'll send the coordinates."

Anakin sensed the change before the formation broke and fired at the two fighters as they split off. Both exploded in flames and then crashed into one another.

The wolf-like ship loomed in and before any of the preoccupied fighters could hit Xillanor's ship, the blast from what looked like the snout struck the glass of the frontal viewport and sent a shattering rumble throughout the entire ship.

Without another word, Xillanor was gone.

Natie had never run so much in her life. Even when she had first begun to do raids and rescues she'd always run around a lot, so as to not get caught. It was usually that she was running away from something, not towards something.

Now for the first time Natie found that she was running back to the last place she really wanted to go. Because deep down, Natie knew the truth: it was her fault for going after Kirk. If she'd let him die in the explosion, Nokir and Brookes would still be alive. It was true as well that Brookes and Nokir should have mattered to her more than a complete stranger that Natie couldn't even say she trusted for sure. But how could she have known that by trying to save Kirk she would forfeit the lives of her brothers.

"Damn it!" She spat at the ground and put on a new burst of speed. As she neared the hospital she paused. Her own injury was forgotten in the chaos following the death of her brothers, but now it was seeping through her clothes and dripping on the ground. The burns on her armor didn't go unnoticed by the doctors and nurses as she strode silently through the halls of the hospital. She stopped at the desk.

"Yes?" The assistant sitting there asked, taking in her condition, though he withheld comment.

"Where can I find Kirk Dekim?" She said, pausing a moment to catch her breath.

"Room 323, down the hall to your left," The assistant replied flatly. Then he gave her a small frown, "You seem like you could use a treatment yourself, Miss."

"I'm better than off than I look," She said with a wry smile before heading down the left hallway, the eyes of the assistant never left her until she entered Kirk's room.

"Natie," He said, his tone revealing the initial misgivings he had about her appearance. She stood next to his bed until the two doctors left and then shut the door. Kirk's frown grew as he watched her nervous movements. "What happened?"

"I tried to rescue Nokir from the prison," She said, and Kirk's eyes widened in the incredulity of her statement.

"You what?" He repeated. "Please tell me you didn't try to do that after he said to leave it alone." Kirk said. With Natie's silence Kirk's expression grew grim."I thought I felt something wrong," Kirk said solemnly, "I thought I might have felt it wrongly, but Nokir and Brookes are dead, aren't they?" Natie nodded wordlessly.

He glared at her, "Damn it, Natie, do you realize what you just did?"

She twitched at the comment, "Of course I do, I killed my own brothers."

Kirk's face softened but his eyes continued to harden, "I'm not saying that," he said slowly, "Because you decided to risk your life for me, someone you owe nothing to and don't have any connection with, your brothers are dead."

"I'm not here to blame you, Kirk," Natie replied soberly. Kirk scowled as if to say 'you should.' "I've got nothing else to-"

"No," Kirk cut in firmly, sensing her train of thought before she could finish her sentence.

"Why not?" Natie demanded. "I've given everything away and I've lost my only family!"

Kirk shook his head, "It's my fault your brothers are dead and you want to stay with me?" He stared at her with guilty eyes.

"What else am I supposed to do?" She asked fiercely. Kirk sighed.

"I don't know, Natie," He said honestly, "But I do know that right now you need to get as far away from me as possible. I mean it this time. The more you hesitate, the more pain it will bring to your life."

"What else can I lose?" She said sardonically with a bitter smile, "My brothers are dead and my parents haven't shown their faces in years. Nobody cares about me, Kirk. Where can I go?" She grunted, "At least you have a place to go."

Kirk lowered his eyes, "No, I don't," He answered gently, "I haven't had home to return to in a decade and that home died before I left. I wander and I live with what I've got left. If I die, that's my choice." He faced Natie, "But you aren't the same. You still have the ability to go find a new beginning. I can give you some places to go find that life, but I can't walk you through it."

"I don't need someone to walk me through it, Kirk, I'm not a child," She retorted, He stiffened.

"Then what _do _you need?" He questioned. Natie opened her mouth and then shut it as she averted her gaze. Kirk gave her a concerned look. "I'm not the shoulder you should be leaning on if you need it," Kirk continued calmly, "Or the friend that you'd confide in. Whatever it is that you think I might be for you," He shifted, "I'm not capable of being that person."

Natie grunted, "I don't _want _or _need _anything from you, Kirk." She said frostily, "Look, I don't even know what I want in the first place, let alone what I need. I just feel like there's something that's been pushing me into helping you and I'm not one to just ignore my instincts."

Kirk gave her a smile, "You're a bright woman, Natie," He said firmly, "No one doubts that you can be something more than what you've been. I don't think either of your brothers would have wanted to see you continue the life of a bounty hunter-"

"So let me come with you," Natie argued. "If that's what they wanted: then help me leave this place."

"I'm not meant to cross paths with you, Natie," Kirk said with finality, "Your brothers' deaths should have told you that much." He turned his head as the doctors approached, "May the force be with you, Natasha Renders." Then the two doctors ushered Natie out before the assistant pointed Natie out to one of the doctors behind the assistant.

"Miss, you're injured," The doctor said with a frown, "How did you manage to get this far without treating this?"

Natie shrugged, "I'm not sure."

"Will you allow us to treat it?" The doctor asked. Natie shook her head.

"No, thank you," She replied absently, "I've got to go." She then started down the hallway and out of the hospital.

The knock turned Janisor's head to the side for a moment before he returned his attention to the two large glass windows in front of him. As far as Chiss went, Janisor was a stickler to the rules but the same couldn't be said for Janisor's family, in recent years, those with the potential to succeed him dwindled for one reason or another. He wasn't too happy with his own son, but had little choice but to wait for the young upstart to return home to be retrained. Recent events overturned the possibility.

"You wished to see me, Brother?" Soontir asked, walking into the room, noting the meditative stance Janisor always assumed when he was about to make an order as a King and not as a family member.

"Yes," Janisor said coolly, "The reports are telling me that my son is dead. Do you care to comment on that?"

Soontir watched his brother for a moment. If there was anything different about the two, it wasn't who had more loyalty to the Chiss homeland, it was who would sacrifice every ounce of his morality as a father to suit the situation.

"Only that Nokir died for his belief in his friends."

"Though in defiance of his country's laws," Janisor said acidly. He turned and regarded his brother. "You are and always have been naïve, Soontir. When will you realize that friends who are enemies of the country, are enemies to be killed."

"I find comfort in my own sense of morality and justice, Janisor. I'll thank you not to criticize my judgment." Soontir replied evenly. Janisor shook his head.

"That's why father placed me on the throne and not you, Soontir. You were the older brother, the ideal soldier, and yet your softness towards our laws prevented you from becoming a firm leader," Janisor pointed out severely, "I am surprised that you yourself haven't been arrested."

"Are you so cold that you are not willing to condemn those who shot your own son in cold blood?" Soontir asked. "You disappoint me, Janisor."

"It was his choice, Soontir," Janisor answered. He stiffened, "To business. You know why I asked you here, Baron Fel."

"It is not even past the Honor Period," Soontir said, his clear disbelief in his brother's intentions.

"There will be no Honor Period," Janisor stated, "Nokir is dead. You know what you must do, Soontir."

Soontir's scowl covered any ounce of feigned politeness he had left. "You know Jagged won't do it."

Janisor faced his brother abruptly, "He will not be given a choice. The throne belongs to the first born child and since Jag is the oldest child left. He will fill it."

Soontir remained silent before he answered, "Jagged has signed his Blood Denial Pledge."

Janisor flinched, "And you allowed him to do this?"

Soontir lifted his gaze, "It was never my choice to make. Jagged is my son, not yours, Janisor," Soontir frowned even further, "That bomb was intended for you, wasn't it?"

Janisor cast a furtive glance at the door before fixating his gaze on his brother once more, "I was going to be in that room, yes. But it was far too calculated for the bomber to miss out on a schedule change."

Soontir's glare penetrated deep into Janisor's eyes, "Your lack of care for the lives of those around you, Janisor, is the very reason I will never trust my children with you." Soontir then turned on his heels to face the door and marched out without another word.

Jaina was almost completely comfortable with her daily sessions with Mara by the time the doctors agreed that they weren't necessary any longer. It was ironic how that worked. Just when you got used to something, it went away. It was probably for the better. Jaina wasn't sure she could stand the smell of flour any more. Mara had also given Jaina plenty to think about. Jaina hadn't opened up too much about Jacen or Zekk but she had finally decided that she wasn't going to spend the rest of her life brooding over it either.

Jaina was also asked to assist in patrols with the Rogue Squadron by Wedge, who vouched that she'd be fine once she got back into the cockpit of an X-Wing. Jaina got shivers of excitement at the very thought of being back in the game. She loved flying and had almost completely forgotten how great it felt to see the stars up close and to have the sensation of soaring through the galaxy with only the force to guide her.

Jaina was now a day away from when she would be on Wedge's ship and getting assigned to the squadron officially. Packing wasn't difficult since Jaina hadn't really unpacked much since she got home. Her belongings also didn't consist of much more than a few pairs of pants, shirts, undergarments, and shoes. She also mostly wore her jumpsuit more often than anything else, she laid that out too. After neatly folding her last pair of pants, she picked up her lightsaber and tucked it into her belt. Then she saw the other lightsaber sitting on the dresser.

It was time.

Natie finally ran out of steam and sat down on the corner of one of the blocks. She hadn't really thought about where she was going to go once she got outside the hospital, so she'd just kept on wandering aimlessly throughout the streets. She hung her head low as the scraping of boots as they stopped walking came from behind.

Two green eyes peered towards the side of her face. "Huh, didn't think so, you're not a Chiss."

Natie turned to look at the dark haired man standing behind her. He was built strongly and had piercing green eyes that almost seemed to have a life of their own outside of the man's body. The most noticeable part of this man was that aside from his eye color and stature, he had the undertone of Chiss in his skin.

"Are you lost?" The man asked. Natie shook her head.

"No, just thinking," She then reconsidered, "Well, maybe I'm lost in a non-literal sense if that makes any sense."

The man nodded, "I know what you mean," He paused, "I'm Jagged Fel." He extended his hand.

"Natasha Renders," She took his hand, "But that's Natie to you."

He nodded stiffly. _Definitely a Chiss, _"Most call me Jag, so that goes for you too."

"Alright, Jag," Natie said slowly, "Why did you stop to talk to me when I'm clearly not a Chiss?"

He shrugged, "The outside world is rubbing off on me, I guess." Jag's eyes roamed around. "I forgot how bleak and pointlessly rigid this place was."

Natie suddenly thought for a moment and then looked over at him, "You said your name's Fel, right?"

Jag frowned a little, "Yes, why?"

"So your uncle is the king?" She questioned. Jag nodded.

"Why all the questions?" He said, folding his arms across his chest. Natie considered not telling him but decided it was better to be up front about her situation. It was possible that Jag was more amiable than the other Chiss she'd met recently.

"I know why you're here, Jag," Natie said. He looked stunned as well as skeptical, an eyebrow went up in response.

"_You _do?" He repeated.

"Yes," Natie replied. "You're here because your cousin, Nokir, was just killed and your uncle wants you to take the throne."

Tenel Ka leaned over her papers when a knock stirred her from her concentration. One of her aids stood in the doorway.

"Your Majesty, there's someone here to see you," She waited as Tenel Ka put her pen down.

"Send the guest in," Tenel Ka said. The aid went away and then returned, bowing and stepping aside as the brown haired young woman entered.

"Friend Jaina?" Tenel Ka said, standing up. The aid, seeing that the Queen knew Jaina, left the room, closing the door behind her.

"Queen Mother," Jaina said, inclining her head. Tenel Ka shook her head.

"No, please, we are friends. No formalities here," She gestured for Jaina to sit on the second chair while Tenel Ka pulled hers away from her desk. "I was informed that you were hospitalized, are you well now?"

Jaina started to nod but then shook her head, "That's why I'm here, Tenel Ka," She said with a heavy tone. "Both of us lost someone important to us and only one of us seems to be handling it best."

Tenel Ka frowned in confusion, "I do not understand."

Jaina looked at her friend carefully before Jaina began pulling up her sleeves to reveal the bandages, Tenel Ka narrowed her eyes in an attempt to comprehend what she was seeing. As it came to her, Tenel Ka's eyes turned concerned. "You have hurt yourself, Friend Jaina. Why would you do this?"

Jaina shook her head, "I was lost, Tenel Ka. I didn't know what to do after…. After Jacen died," She bit her lip before continuing. "It's complicated."

Tenel Ka's brow creased even further, "Explain to me why you would think it was necessary for you to hurt yourself, Friend Jaina."

Jaina took a deep breath, "I wanted it to go away. The pain, the emptiness, the loneliness, all of it was overwhelming. I didn't know what to do without Jacen there. It just started happening. I wasn't even conscious when I was doing it." Jaina shook her head, "It didn't even help."

Tenel Ka gave Jaina a knowing look, "Of course it did not help. To hurt one's self when you are already suffering is to pour hot water on a burning cut." Jaina figured this was either a Hapan expression or one of Tenel Ka's odd interpretations of human expressions. "It is better to be among friends when you hurt, not to cause yourself more pain."

Jaina sighed, "I know, Tenel Ka. That's why I came here, like I should have done before anything else." She smiled wanly, "I know that the only person who knew Jacen better than I did, was you."

Tenel Ka stiffened a little. It was clear that the young Queen had yet to deal with Jacen's death on her own. "I tried my best to understand him in my own way, Friend Jaina. It is not for us to compare what should not be."

Jaina nodded. Tenel Ka as always, was wise beyond her years. Though behind Tenel Ka's mature stature and wisdom was a young woman whose life was filled with events that only middle aged adults could hope to avoid as it was a norm then. She had the burden of a death that had shattered the world she'd only just begun to build. Jaina reached into the internal pocket of her Jedi training shirt and held out the lightsaber to the Hapan Queen.

"This is," Tenel Ka looked at the lightsaber. "Jacen's."

"From his Academy days," Jaina said, "He built a new one for the war. But I think he would have wanted his son to have it."

Tenel Ka took it with almost trembling hands, "I thank you, Friend Jaina, for this. It means…" Tenel Ka's face betrayed for a moment the clear anguish that had been threatening to break through. "More than you know to me."

Jaina nodded wordlessly, remembering the force's words about Tenel Ka's feelings being beyond that of just brother and sister. A feeling that wasn't comparable, not because it was stronger: but simply because it was different.

"Jacen was…" Tenel Ka said slowly, "The one person who seemed to manage to be bright at the darkest moments. There was not a single obstacle that he was ever dissuaded by."

Jaina had to smile at that, "No. Except for maybe telling a joke that you'd laugh at."

Tenel Ka smiled painfully, "Ah, yes," She looked so peaceful for moment that Jaina could almost feel the love for Jacen radiating from Tenel Ka's entire body. "He never seemed to tell jokes that made sense."

Jaina smiled herself. _That's an objective opinion, but technically correct. _A silence fell between the two women, only to be broken by the loud and energetic yell coming from down the hall. The doors to Tenel Ka's chamber burst open.

"Mommy!" Valin cried with a big grin plastered on his face.

Yuuna smiled as she followed the boy in, "He won in a mock match against Master K'tar."

Tenel Ka smiled warmly at her son, "Did you now?" She picked Valin up and set him in her lap.

"Da!" He grinned in a confident way that immediately reminded Jaina of Jacen. Valin's face and brandy eyes were that of his father while his hair was a mix of the bright red of his mother with hints of Jacen's brown. Valin, as if sensing Jaina's thoughts, turned to look at her.

"That is Aunt Jaina," Tenel Ka said to Valin.

"Faiga?" He repeated. Tenel Ka gave Jaina an apologetic look. Valin still had some ways to go before his pronunciation was perfected.

"Here," Tenel Ka said and lifted Valin into Jaina's lap. She hesitated for a second before relaxing with the young boy in her arms. He had such wonder and hope in his eyes. A thirst that was unquenchable. Jaina looked at Tenel Ka, who seemed to get Jaina's thoughts. They both felt it, the presence of the force, and thus the presence of anything that once resided in it.

"Will you stay for dinner?" Tenel Ka asked. Jaina paused.

"Stay!" Valin voiced. Jaina looked at him and then nodded.

"I'd love to," And for the first time in months, Jaina smiled genuinely.

Jag froze as he stared blankly at Natie. "How do you know this?"

Natie sighed, "Because Nokir is my brother."

Jag looked curiously at her, "Brother? But Nokir has-"

"I know he doesn't. Nokir and I have been friends for a long time, so we were family to each other since we didn't have family outside of each other and Brookes."

"Brookes?" Jag asked. Natie nodded.

"My biological older brother."

"Ah, I see," Jag said, his eyes turned sympathetic, "You'll excuse me for being suspicious."

Natie waved her head, "Nokir was always like that too," She smiled, "I'm used to it."

Jag shifted, his hands tucked deep into the pockets of his thick jacket, "I did not know Nokir that well. My father and my uncle did not get along and so we only saw each other occasionally. Then after Nokir vanished, he was dead to us," Jag looked soberly at the ground as he uncharacteristically scuffed the pavement, "Now I hear is that he has been killed. I wonder what kind of person he risked his life to save."

"You heard about that?" Natie asked, her eyes wide. Jag nodded gravely.

"We make it common knowledge when someone breaks the code of our laws," Jag answered with a deep frown. "So I know that he risked his life for someone that nobody in the Chiss royal family knew except for Nokir." He glanced down at Natie, "I am sure that he felt the same about your familial sentiments."

"Thank you," Natie replied, taking the compliment for what it was. Most Chiss did not give direct compliments and Nokir was no different. So naturally Natie was familiar with that form of approach.

"So why are you waiting here?" Jag cast a glance over his shoulder as though trying to figure out where Natie had been coming from or where she was going.

"I was thinking about the reason I came here in the first place," She answered plainly.

"Which is what?" Jag asked, now more interested since he'd found out that Natie was practically his surrogate cousin.

"To find someone," Natie replied sullenly as she rested her chin on her knee. Her eyes turned forlorn.

"And you could not find this person?" Jag said, his green eyes now not so threateningly penetrating.

"No, I found him," Natie said with a sigh, "He just doesn't think I should be within five miles of him."

Jag's eyes flared, "That is rude."

Natie blinked, realizing that she'd made Kirk look like a complete jerk. Granted, he was an idiot sometimes, but Kirk wasn't an arse. It was then that the whole story came bursting out of her mouth, "No, I mean," She sucked in her breath, "He's the reason why I came here and Nokir got involved in the bombing attempt on the Baron. So now the guy believes that he's the reason why Brookes and Nokir are dead: because they both had to rescue me when I tried to break Nokir out of prison."

Jag narrowed his eyes as he processed the information, "You mean that you came here to find this person, who was connected with my father, and there was a bombing attempt that you saved this person from and in the process Nokir helped both you and my father to get medical attention, resulting in his arrest?"

"That about sums it up," Natie said with a pained look. Jag fell silent.

"You wanted to risk your life to save Nokir from prison?" Jag asked, "Is that why Brookes and Nokir died?"

"Yes," Natie said. Jag paused and considered this.

"You were being noble, foolish, but noble. I think this person should recognize that," Jag said firmly. It was an indirect piece of advice, which Natie appreciated coming from the cousin of her surrogate brother.

"He does," Natie replied slowly, "In his own way. But he just doesn't think I should stay anywhere near him because he feels like he's cursed to bring unhappiness."

Jag looked confused, "Why is it that so many humans believe that they are cursed to bring unhappiness?"

Natie looked at Jag, "You know someone else like that?"

Jag nodded contemplatively, "She is quite convinced that she will be the death of the next person to come within a mile of her."

"Wow, the galaxy is full of idiots," Natie mused. Jag let out a bark-like laugh; something Natie was sure was odd, even for this particular Chiss, one that she barely knew. It was strange, but it seemed like Jag Fel was in many ways like the Nokir that could have been, had he stayed in Chiss territory for longer.

"So it would seem," Jag said wistfully, "I'm sure your person, whoever he is, will understand that there are better ways to protect that which is important than pushing them away."

Natie looked at Jag carefully. _He is definitely a lot like Nokir, in the best of ways, too. _

"I must be going," Jag said, "I can take you to wherever you need to go in the city to repay you for helping my cousin."

Natie nodded. "Thank you, but I feel like I should do it on my own." She watched as Jag nodded silently.

"I respect that, Natie Renders," He said with a nod before walking down the opposite side of the sidewalk from Natie. She would talk to Kirk, and this time, he'd have something else to hear, something that Natie knew she should have said before. Jag Fel had made that much clear.

Anakin felt pain searing through his entire body, the roar of flames and the sound of the sirens blaring in the background eventually woke him from his semi-conscious state. Glass was littered all over the floor of the cockpit and Anakin noticed that someone had forced a helmet over his head. Something touched his arm.

"Anakin?" He moaned in response. "Good. He's awake, Adrock," Jesse's voice was saying, into what Anakin knew was Jesse's comlink.

The radar, which was miraculously still intact beeped, "Hey, looks like you guys could use a hand." Anakin lifted his head, unsure if his hearing had been damaged by the blast.

"Yeah, we could," He replied and then passed out.

**A/N- Next post is on its way. Stay tuned! =) **


	30. What Matters Most

**Chapter 29**

**What Matters Most**

_A/N- Woot! Okay, so the last chapter probably left some of you thinking:_

_ 1. What the fuck? Are you trying to be mysterious??? That's so stupid!!_

_2.I want to know who this person is, but I have a feeling it's going to be Luke or something."_

_3.I don't care about this fic, its author, and I hate the world!_

_4. What am I doing again?_

_5. Wait; there was a point to that? _

_the Hutt could write a better ending than you!!_

7.…_. (No response)_

_And so on and so forth. Ha, ha. Well, I promise not to disappoint, even if you do think the ending was a tad dumb, I did that for a reason, so stay with me. DON'T DIE ON MEEE!!!!... Please?_

_Well, I'm having a change of heart and I'm extending the deadline for the hit/review count. The new deadline is chapter 35. But beyond that, the hit count needs to meet the criteria I listed in chapter 27. Kapeesh?_

_That said, "Always look on the bright side of life!" (Because it's all a part of growing up and being British)… or at least it is for some._

_Word!_

_-Don =)_

* * *

If there was such a thing as a non-aggressive staring match, Natie Renders and Kirk Dekim were the only ones to ever pull it off, in a hospital room no less.

"Let me get this straight," Kirk said with a raised eyebrow, "You want me to stop believing that I am the harbinger of unhappiness?"

Natie stood unmoving and then nodded, "Pretty much."

Kirk gave her a wry smile, "I was wondering what your argument was going to be, but this is a lot better than I expected."

Natie scowled, "You think this is funny?"

"Why, you don't?" Kirk asked. Natie grunted.

"No."

"Not even a little?"

"Not on your life."

"What about yours?"

"Kriff, Kirk, you're annoying!" Natie blurted finally.

He gave her a thoughtful look, "Then why are you still here?"

She gave him a suspicious look, "Was that an attempt to get rid of me?"

"Yes, and apparently it didn't work," He said, but didn't sound all that disappointed, which confused Natie.

"Oh?" She said sardonically. "Pray tell, why do you seem so amused?"

He shrugged, wincing in the process, "Because you refuse to take a hit. I haven't met anyone so stubborn in a long time." He looked distantly at the door and then back at Natie, "It's almost refreshing."

"Refreshing?" She repeated, "What are you, an old man?"

"I am 28," He pointed out.

"That's not old," She countered.

"If you say so," He said with a neutral tone. Natie was beginning to wonder what was on the man's mind since he hadn't tried to send her away. In fact he'd done everything but tell her to leave. She decided to throw a fastball.

"Why aren't you telling me to leave?" She questioned in a serious voice. He looked at her.

"You wouldn't leave even if I told you to," He replied simply. "So I won't."

"That easily?" She asked, "You'd give up that easily?" Natie demanded, "You were all 'I can't risk being around you,' before."

Kirk thought for a moment before he regarded Natie with an almost hesitant expression in his eyes, "Well," He began slowly, "I thought about what you'd said after you ran out the last time."

"And?" She pressed.

"I remembered that there was a time when I was able to care about things without pushing them away," He shook his head, "But I don't even remember when that was." Natie listened wordlessly as she moved to sit down on one of the chairs next to the bed.

"If I so much as even tried to push… Nina away, she'd tell me that she was just as capable of handling the tough situations as I was. I eventually came to believe that because she proved it in every way, shape, and form. I trusted her to take care of herself and at the same time I was able to be a Jedi because she was one too. We both grew up knowing how to meet that balance point." He smiled a painfully sardonic and wry smile.

"But in the end it was my love that killed her, not our lives as Jedi." Natie opened her mouth and then shut it. All this time she had mistaken Kirk's abrasive attitude towards connections as an attempt to tell her she couldn't handle the dangerous life of a Jedi. But she'd been wrong. He wasn't even talking about that. She'd missed his entire point. Now it all made sense. Kirk didn't believe Natie wasn't strong, he believed that his love was the thing that was tainted, as ridiculous as Natie believed that was.

Kirk continued, "I don't want that to happen to anyone else. If it's my pure emotions that hurt people," He sighed deeply, "It's better that I don't use them at all."

Natie paused, "Is that your way of telling me that you don't want to be around me?"

He shook his head, "No, it's my way of telling you that if you want to travel with me, you have to harden yourself to the life that I lead." Kirk frowned, "I don't love anymore."

Jaina left the royal palace feeling some closure to the pain that Jacen had caused. Tenel Ka had been, if anything, a subtle reminder that the things that Jacen loved were still alive. Tenel Ka was probably a lot more broken up than she was showing, but Jaina couldn't expect anything less of the strong Hapan warrior Queen. Tenel Ka had always displayed courage that Jaina herself envied and wanted so badly to emulate.

Jacen told Jaina she was being ridiculous because he said that being so tough made the then Hapan Princess hard to approach and even harder to make laugh or smile genuinely. Something had told Jaina from the beginning that Jacen was missing a lot of subtle hints that Tenel Ka was a lot more open with him than anyone else. That the vulnerable side that had always been there was particularly visible when Jacen was around.

He'd realized it eventually of course, but Jaina had been amazed at how two incredibly sharp people could keep missing the obvious. It was part of what made Tenel Ka and Jacen's relationship so delightfully well matched.

As Jaina steered her borrowed X-Wing back through space, she wondered briefly if she and Zekk had ever been like that: well matched and always finding an understanding that only occurred when they were together. Jaina wouldn't know from the inside because it was the kind of thing that just happened, but still, she had to wonder if she and Zekk would have become as close as Tenel Ka and Jacen were.

Jaina punched the coordinates for Coruscant. She would be leaving for Wedge's ship soon and almost had a sense of loss. Being in the Rogue Squadron would be her new life, a Jedi on the best team of fighters the New Republic had to offer. Jaina would leave behind her Jedi skills for the most part and only occasionally touch the force while traveling.

This was it: Jaina was going to stop being a Jedi. She was going to give up the part of her that would always connect her to the two people she loved most and lost to the Jedi missions.

_I'm sorry, Jacen… Zekk._

Jaina touched down in the docking bay and then started down the hallway. She needed to get home to pack. The journey away from Jedi training was going to be longer than the one to it.

Mara frowned. It seemed odd that suddenly there were dark Jedi floating around the galaxy and nobody had noticed, let alone sensed it. They were the ones who kidnapped Kyle. They were the ones who kidnapped Kyle and weren't giving any hints as to why. Though Mara could care less as to the why since she planned to issue justice the moment she was able.

She glanced up as Luke entered their apartment, home from another meeting with the Jedi Order and the New Republic. "Any luck?" He asked, referring to Mara's research on recent dark Jedi. She shook her head. Luke's face fell.

"How is that possible?" He asked, sitting down on the couch next to his wife.

"Search me," Mara replied irritably, "They're probably more skilled at masking their presences."

Luke shook his head, "Sith are good, but nobody's this good."

"Apparently there are because none of us noticed before it was too late," Mara pointed out with a sour expression. Luke watched her with concern.

"Mara," He said quietly.

"I know!" Mara snapped, "Don't tell me to calm down, Luke, because this isn't the time for that."

He looked hurt, "I wasn't going to." Luke glanced over at Ben's room, and sensing the boy was still fast asleep, Luke looked back at Mara. "I only meant to say that I'm worried about this too. I know it's my fault as much as anyone else's for not expecting something like this to happen eventually."

Mara frowned, "What do you mean 'eventually'?"

Luke smiled wryly, "Come on, Mara," He said, "People who use the force can sway to the dark way as often as they can sway back to the light. You should know that better than anyone else."

Mara opened her mouth and then shut it as she thought about that for a moment. "Of course I know that. One doesn't just up and forget that they once worked for the most evil man in the entire universe."

Luke had to smile at that, "At one point that would have been me."

"Except that I didn't work for _you_, Luke." Mara said sardonically, arching her brow at him.

He chuckled, "Point."

"You better believe it, Farm Boy," Mara said coolly. He smiled.

"Oh, come on, Jade," He said playfully, "Don't you have a sense of humor."

"I'm sorry, but that died when you came along."

"I'm hurt." Luke said with a mock frown.

Mara shrugged, "You'll live."

"Oh, I don't know," Luke said, slipping off to the open side of the couch. "This could be fatal."

Mara raised her brow again, "You're really pushing it, Luke."

He leaned back against his folded arms, "I like to live on the edge."

"There's a change," Mara said with a massive eye roll. Luke made a mock affronted face before shutting his eyes and relaxing against the soft fabric of the couch. He started a little when he felt the weight of Mara's body as it snuggled under his arm.

"And here I was thinking you'd never come around," He said with a complacent smile.

"Come on, Luke, I might be harsh, but I'm not that cold hearted," Mara said, sending her disapproval to him through the force. Luke chuckled as he kissed her hair.

"I know."

Han paused briefly, looking over at the guard. "You sure this guy isn't dangerous?"

"He's a murderer, Captain Solo," The guard said sardonically, "Of course he's dangerous. The difference is that he's sitting with his hands cuffed and he's flanked by two of our best guards."

Han, who was not one to place a lot of confidence in prison guards, gave a weak smile, "Sure." He then walked into the cell where he found a table with two chairs set on either side of it was set out in the center, and in the far chair was a man with a heavy dark beard and plenty of scars covering his face and hands. He was a large muscled man and Han could see why the guards flanking the man were so large.

"So yer Han Solo?" The man eyed Han up and down. "You're kind of scrawny."

Han gave a wry smile, "Right," He sat down in the chair and watched as the large man shifted forward.

"You say you wanted to ask me some questions?" The man asked.

"If you're Merlin Genrick, then yes," Han replied. The man laughed.

"Yer lookin' at 'im, Solo," He laughed good naturedly, "What can I do fer ya?"

Han was a little thrown by how friendly Merlin Genrick was in person but he knew better than to let his guard down. "I want to ask you some questions about your murder many years ago."

Genrick's eyes grew cold at that, "What about it?"

"Who was the Jedi you killed?" Han asked. "And why did you kill him?"

The officer monitoring the conversation gave Han a strange look but didn't say anything except to prompt Genrick, "Answer the question, Genrick."

"You want to know who I killed?" Genrick asked with a toothy grin, "I killed a scrawny guy like you, except that 'e was a Jedi."

Han frowned even more deeply. That was exactly what Luke had said. "What was his name?"

"That's classified, Captain Solo," The Officer cut in. "Genrick, keep your trap shut."

"Fine by me if you want to hush this up," Genrick said smugly, leaning back in his chair. "It wasn't my fault your security botched their rounds and left the poor Jedi to investigate me personally."

"Personally?" Han asked. The Officer glared at Genrick.

"That's enough, Genrick, you've said enough." The Officer shot a warning at Han. "One more question about that subject and this session will be terminated."

Han nodded grimly. Something about this smelled fishy and he was sure that it was layered in years of deceit and lies about the crime. Clearly the military and police weren't too happy about something that happened and Genrick and the Jedi were deeply involved. Han's curiosity was peaked and he wasn't about to let that slide by unanswered.

"Right," Han said, racking his brains for an indirect way of getting the information he needed, "You didn't mentioned why you killed him." The Officer didn't cut in so Han guessed he was still in the clear.

"Why?" Genrick laughed hollowly, "He was a Jedi, that's why: It was retribution for their failures. The stupid bloke didn't know what was coming to 'im." Genrick smiled, "Oh he put up a fight all right, but I wasn't chosen to be a clone master for nothing."

"Clone master?" Han's mind clicked with one of the records Luke mentioned. "You were the man they cloned?"

"Right in one, Solo," Genrick answered. "Had a bunch of other ones out there too until the Republic killed 'em off." He threw a glare at the guard. "Bloody waste if ya ask me."

"You killed a Jedi because he was trying to eliminate the rest of the clones, didn't you?" Han asked coolly.

"Yep, that I did," Genrick answered, "Now what was the kid's name? Something with a J, I think."

"That's enough, this session is terminated," The Officer said and gestured for the guards to take Genrick. Han stood up.

"Solo," Genrick said as the guards dragged him out, "This is a long buried past that the Republic don't want to remember. It'll take more than questioning to get to the bottom of the muddy pit." The guards then shoved Genrick down the hall and the Officer escorted Han to the exit.

"You'll have to forgive me, Captain Solo," The Officer said, "But I can't allow you to return here and risk revealing classified information."

Han gave a sardonic smile, "Oh, and how many years has this been classified for, huh?"

To Han's surprise The Officer answered, "Since the Old Republic days."

Han blinked. Now _that _was definitely specific enough for him to work off of. "Not a problem, Officer, I've learned what I needed to." Han fashioned his famous grin before turning and exiting the prison. He had a few things to relay to Luke now.

"I still can't believe you refused to go to a proper hospital," Tahiri said as she sat next to Anakin's bed on the _Madeline. _He sighed.

"I told you that I had a good reason," Anakin replied.

"I still don't get what that reason is," She said, giving him a strange look.

"I'll tell you later," Anakin said with another sigh. "Trust me, now's not the time for me to be home."

Tahiri frowned more deeply, "You're being really vague, Anakin. What's up?"

"You really aren't good at waiting, are you?" He said exasperatedly.

"Not when you end up getting badly injured and aren't willing to tell me why you made a stop to Coruscant and didn't even bother to get medical attention while you were there."

"I had my reasons."

"And I want to know what they are, Anakin," She said firmly.

"And I said I'd tell you later," He argued back.

"I want to know now."

"Remind me again how you became a Jedi?" He said sarcastically. Tahiri scowled at him. Nothing made Tahiri happy when she decided she needed to know something, except for whatever it was she wanted to know.

"I trained, what else?" She retorted, in her state it was like Tahiri to answer a rhetorical question. Though she might have in any given situation since that's just something Tahiri did.

"Tahiri." Anakin said, arching his brow. "Will you calm down? It's nothing serious, okay?"

"What your injuries or what you went to Coruscant to do?"

"Both," Anakin replied firmly, "So you can relax."

Tahiri snorted, "Honestly, Anakin, I don't believe a word you're saying and if it weren't for the force I'd be stalking off because I didn't."

"But you know I am," He pointed out. She grumbled a few curses.

"You like taking advantage of everything I say, don't you?" She folded her arms across her chest with a skeptical scowl.

"And you like to blow everything out of proportion. I told you that Xillanor might attack me," Anakin said in an attempt to keep Tahiri's fiery lashes from hitting him again. "It was a better result than what could have happened."

Tahiri looked uncomfortable, "Still."

Anakin smiled gently, "Come on, I'm still here, aren't I?"

"Yes," She said reluctantly. Anakin grinned confidently.

"I'm not one to go down that easily, you know that." He said reassuringly, "Plus, I've been through worse injuries."

Tahiri groaned, "It's not about what's worse, Anakin," She argued, "It's about whether or not you realize that you're risking long term affects by not getting the proper care on Coruscant."

"If you want me to get treated at a med-center, I will," Anakin said, relenting, "But not on Coruscant."

She sighed, "Yavin?"

"That works," Anakin said amiably. With his agreement Tahiri seemed to relax. She shifted, which didn't go unnoticed by Anakin.

"Hey," He reached over and squeezed her hand, "I made it out. I'm here." His blue eyes met Tahiri's green.

"I know," She said in a low voice. "It's just that I…" She shook her head. "Forget it."

Anakin patted the empty space on the bed and Tahiri came over and sat on it. "I know, Tahiri," He said softly, "I was scared too." She gave him a skeptical look.

"Liar," She accused, "You were not."

He threw up his hands in a hopeless gesture, "I was," He continued to hold onto her hand as he spoke and slowly grasped his other hand around her free one, "I was afraid of a lot of things out there."

Tahiri looked at him curiously, "Like what?"

"Me losing control," He said in a barely audible voice. "I was afraid that Xillanor would go after you while we were recovering and while we were going to Coruscant," He paused, "And I was afraid of the chance that I'd go into the void and never come out again."

Tahiri felt a chill run down her spine, "You didn't see it though…" She stared at him, "Did you?"

He shook his head, "But every time I've been hurt, I sometimes feel the force around me, as strongly as I did then."

Tahiri felt Anakin's fear then, as though he were only now letting it show. Anakin tended to bottle up his fear and often that made it hard for Tahiri to see if he really did feel it sometimes. She returned the squeeze on his hand. "I believe you. It's hard to remember that even you get scared sometimes."

"Why's that?" Anakin asked. He was honestly confused. As far as he was concerned, he was always afraid of something or other. There was never a time when he didn't think he had to be on his toes and wary of the dangers surrounding him. Those fears were real and Anakin was sure that he'd never be rid of some of them.

"Well, you seem like you're strong all the time so I don't know when you're afraid. You hide everything behind your walls. Even with me you use mind blocks. It's tough to know what you're thinking when you do that."

Anakin opened his mouth and then shut it before replying, "Sorry, I don't mean to shut you out."

She shrugged, "It's okay, Anakin. I know you're trying not to, so that's enough for me."

"Well, let me show you what I'm feeling right now," He then lowered his mental wall and let Tahiri slip inside.

She saw the images of the ship as it exploded, the flashes of the memories of Jacen and Anakin as children, and then of Zekk as he died on Mykyr. Tahiri felt Anakin's pain but held on, letting some of the weight shift onto her own mind. Anakin felt the urge to put his wall up when he felt the weight leave but Tahiri sent him reassurance.

As he opened his eyes once more, Tahiri was staring at him with concern. "How do you manage to stay strong with all that on your mind?"

Anakin shook his head, "I don't. I'm just as confused and broken about it as you are about things that bother you," He let out a long ragged sigh, "I don't always know what to do so I just push it into the back of my mind."

She nodded, "I felt that, some of those things came rushing out when you let me in." Tahiri gave him a gentle poke on the cheek, "I wish you'd let me in more often."

"Sorry," He said sheepishly. Tahiri grinned.

"It's not something you can do all at once, we've both got layers of crap to work through in our heads," She shrugged, "But we'll get through it together."

"You seem to be strong yourself," Anakin said with a smile. Tahiri gave him a strange look.

"I'm no different than you are, though. I have things that I keep to myself and they weigh me down," She sighed, "But it's still not right when I do it either."

"So you want to let me in on what you're thinking?" Anakin offered. She met his gaze with a nod.

"That's what I'm saying, Hero Boy," She lightly touched his cheek and then stood up. Anakin looked at her curiously.

"You're leaving?" He asked, trying to hide his surprise and disappointment. Tahiri laughed a little.

"Come on, Anakin, you're hurt, you need your rest," Tahiri said, kissing him on the forehead. He held onto her arm. "You're such a baby sometimes."

"Not true," He said with a frown, "If you want to leave, leave." He let go.

"Blackmailer," Tahiri accused as she sat back down. She leaned back in her chair and then let out another yawn. Anakin caught it.

"I don't mean to keep you away from sleeping," He said, his tone now concerned. Tahiri waved her hand absently.

"I'm fine, Anakin," She said and then yawned again. He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Says the girl who's yawning," Anakin squeezed her hand. "Go to bed." Tahiri started to get up and then looked thoughtful. Anakin stared at her curiously.

"What?" He inquired, unsure if he'd regret doing so.

"Do you think I could sleep here?" She said, almost not even asking as she spoke. Anakin blinked.

"In the chair?" He asked incredulously. She laughed in her lighthearted way.

"No, Silly," She said, "On the bed and don't be such a baby about it,"

He scowled, "I am not being a baby, I'm just surprised since I'm not exactly in the best condition to do that," He looked at her, "I won't be able move much."

Tahiri shook her head, "I don't care, Anakin," She looked at him questioningly, "Do you want me to stay or not?"

"Of course I do," He answered and then as if to affirm his statement, he shifted over and pulled back his blankets.

"You don't have to do that," She said as he finished making room.

"Don't be ridiculous," Anakin said firmly, "This ship is freezing." Tahiri nodded mutely and then climbed in next to Anakin. It wasn't like it was the first time they'd fallen asleep next to each other, but that had usually been on top of the blankets, not under them. It hadn't ever occurred to Tahiri that the covers made any difference since she'd always felt at ease lying next to Anakin. But it was warmer with the combined heat of Anakin's body as she laid her head on his chest and the warmth of the blankets.

He looked over at her, "Comfortable?"

"Yeah," She said, blushing furiously. He grinned and then shut his eyes, wrapping his one good arm around her shoulder. With that Tahiri did relax and was soon fast asleep. Anakin wasn't too far behind but he was also staring up at the ceiling, briefly debating if his stop at Coruscant was a mistake or not. He shook his head, making sure not to stir Tahiri, as he did so and then let himself sink into the pillows before drifting off.

"Wynn?" James looked around the corner, still not seeing her, he muttered curses under his breath. He wasn't really sure why she'd run off. He was trying to figure out what he'd done wrong and wasn't able to figure it out.

He tried running through the events in the recent days they'd been traveling, _Well, we were just flying and we were talking most of the time. I haven't been able to kiss her because… well, she'd get bored of that, right? Is that what she's mad about? No, it can't be, right?_

James sighed, his internal debate going nowhere. Wynn was clearly avoiding him, because he'd gone everywhere on the entire small ship. He felt something in the back of his mind and then whirled around, backtracking to the closet. He opened it and heard a small sniff. With a glance down, he saw Wynn, her head in her lap, and clear sniffles coming from her nose.

"Wynn?" James questioned, getting down so he was level with her. "What's wrong?" She didn't answer and James felt the fear of his own hand in her state gnawing at the back of his mind. "Wynn, if there's something I did, just tell me."

She shook her head and a muddled, "It's not you, James," Came out. James felt some relief but his confusion didn't leave him. Even though James had had some times where he'd had to figure out what had made his sister cry, it was usually something simple, like she'd lost her favorite toy or some stupid kid from next door had said something stupid or mean to her. As Madeline had gotten older, James had come to realize that it was hard for him to pinpoint exactly what she was upset about because there were so many things that James didn't get about girls.

Now wasn't any exception. "Wynn, please, I don't know how else to help unless you tell me." He decided on saying. He hoped that it wasn't too lame or too simplified. Wynn gave a final sniff and looked up at James. Her eyes were red. In one of her hands was a comlink and she looked positively terrified.

"He's dead."

James started, "Who's dead?"

"Nokir, my cousin," Wynn said in a barely audible voice. "And my dad was almost killed in a bombing."

James worked his jaw, unable to figure out what to say in response to her words. "Kriff, Wynn," He said, "That's horrible." _Great, way to be lame again, James, _he chided himself.

She nodded mutely. James decided to try another tack, "You were close to your cousin?"

Wynn choked out a response, "Yeah, he was like another older brother when my older siblings died." She grimaced, "He was there all the times I needed him, but after he left I didn't know what happened to him… and now he's dead."

James reached out and touched her shoulder and that was all it took before Wynn launched her arms around him and began crying uncontrollably. James took a minute before he got over his stunned state and put his arms around her and just sat there, hoping that his presence was more comforting than his words.

After a few minutes Wynn pulled away and rubbed her eyes. "Thanks."

"Um, I didn't do anything though," James said. Wynn flicked his nose, which James wrinkled in response.

"You came to find me: that's something," She pointed out. Wynn obviously gave him more credit than he deserved or at least that's how it was in James' opinion.

"Not really," James countered, "I was just worried." He turned red immediately after his admission.

"You're fine the way you are, James," Wynn said. She then leaned her head back on his shoulder. He put his arms around her.

"This is okay?" He asked tentatively.

"Yeah," She said, a weak, but nonetheless genuine, smile, creeping onto her lips.

"Alright," James said in a slightly more confident voice, "Then I won't move," James said and he didn't.

Jaina pushed the rest of her freshly cleaned laundry into her suitcase. Leia had even ironed them, which Jaina appreciated. It was nice to know that someone was still there to show Jaina even the smallest gesture of love, as cheesy as that was: Jaina appreciated it more than anything right now.

She then went to her closet to take down her jacket and the last of her pants. It was strange to have her room be so empty. But Jaina knew that it was going to be that way every time she came back, if she did, so she decided it was better that she get used to it now rather than later.

With her back turned to the door so she didn't see the shadow that was cast across the one light she'd left on in her room. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even feel the person behind her. After a moment she did, but kept her back turned, her attention on putting the rest of her things into the bag.

"Hey," Came the soft voice from behind her. Jaina's hand froze with the rest of her body at the sound. With a slow rotation she turned around. Her jaw nearly dropped, but the clothes in her hands did. Surprise mixed with a sense of shock at seeing something that she'd never hoped to see in her entire lifetime. It was to the point where Jaina couldn't even find the words inside her own head to respond.

"Anakin told me I might find you here," The person said. Jaina's hands shook with the tension that was now pouring out of her in floods.

"Why?" She said as she finally regained her voice, it still shook as she spoke, breaking off at the end. Jaina wasn't used to being so vulnerable and broken up. It bothered her that this was all she could manage now.

He smiled at her and slowly made his way over to where Jaina stood rooted on the spot. Still she couldn't even look at him. Without another word Jaina found herself in the warmest embrace she'd had in a long time. In seconds she was rendered silent by its effects.

"Zekk," She said, the pained fear still lingering in her voice.

"I'm not going anywhere," Two green eyes looked down at Jaina as he rested his head on hers. "I promise."

**A/N- Yay!!! I don't think I need to say much about this chappie except that it's heartwarming and heartbreaking at points. =) Please review!! **


	31. The Rising Tide

**Chapter 30**

**The Rising Tide**

_A/N- I've been rocking out to this band called "The National." I just got one of their albums titled "Boxer" and it's really awesome to listen to. It's a great mix of mellow and just easy listening alternative music. _

_I highly recommend it to anyone who's interested. _

_Well, I'm guessing the Z/J fans out there are going a little ballistic now that I finally brought Zekk back, so I won't disappoint now that he's back._

_Okay, on to the chapter! _

_-Don =)_

* * *

"What the kriff do you mean you don't love?" Natie demanded heatedly and glared fiercely at Kirk when he didn't respond right away. "Well?"

Kirk returned her harsh stare, "Exactly what I said, I don't love anymore."

"You expect me to believe that?" Natie said with a raised eyebrow. She continued to glare at him as he sighed.

"That's what I said, so I expect you to accept it. It's my choice to make," He replied a little more angrily than he intended. "Not yours."

"Oh, and that's all fine and well by you?" She said sarcastically. "You'll be happy the rest of your life because you're just miserable? You're a masochist, is that what you're saying?"

Kirk took his turn to raise his eyebrow, "Why would it matter to you if I want to be alone?"

Natie's cheek twitched and she took all of her leftover nerves to not literally bite Kirk's head off, "Because somebody has to if you don't."

Kirk shook his head, "That's not what I meant," He replied. "Why go through all this trouble to convince me that I don't want to be alone when it's clear that I do."

Natie opened her mouth and then shut it, mulling over Kirk's words. "You really don't know, do you?" She said and only now started to show the disappointment and doubt she'd been trying to put aside.

"I'm not the only person who'll be able to have a decent conversation with you, Natie," Kirk said plainly. "Go home, pack your things and move on if you have to, but don't dwell on the past." He then refocused his attention on writing down some of the information he'd received about the bombing. He frowned and then continued writing, oblivious to the clearly irritated state that Natie was giving him.

"What the kriff is wrong with you?" She finally blurted. Kirk lifted his gaze, scowling.

"What is wrong with _me_?" Kirk repeated. "There's nothing wrong except that I'm in the hospital with most of my body burned. That's what's wrong." He growled. "Let me give you my honest opinion, Natie Renders, and don't interrupt me," He said, shooting her a warning glance. "I know you're hurt and you're desperate for attention and for the love you just love. That's not wrong and it's natural to have an attachment to the people closest to you at a time like this. But don't kid yourself into thinking that someone like me will always be around. There's always a chance that the next bomb will kill me and you'll be right back where you started.

"There's nothing worse than setting yourself up for disappointment, Natie. I know I'm not the person I could have been and I don't know how to care anymore. You've got a life ahead of you, don't start backtracking now." He paused for a second and smiled at her, "You'll find that people can be a lot more warm and accepting in the galaxy, you just need to get out there to find out who those people are."

Natie nodded slowly and then gave him a questioning look, "But you're accepting."

"That may be," Kirk answered, "But I'm not willing to let you ruin the chance to explore the galaxy because you want to hang around with an old fogey like me."

"I don't know where you get off calling yourself an 'old fogey' but you're definitely not as old as you think." Natie said. Kirk raised his brow at her.

"It's a figurative statement," He laughed a little, "But what I should have said was that I've run my entire life through the wringer. Any passion, any attachments, and anything that I touched became tainted. I've broken more promises than I've made and I don't have any sense of moral." His eyes met Natie's reluctantly, the contrast of his haunted ones and her fear stricken but still pure ones stood out. "I was asked to come here by the Baron. To carry out a mission."

Natie shrugged, "So what? Everyone does that."

"Let me finish," Kirk said, his voice hardened. Natie fell silent. "I was asked to either bring back Cem Fel alive or to kill him." Kirk's gaze didn't waver, "I failed to kill him. Now I've endangered the Baron and anyone associated with him, including myself. I'm a walking target." He stared at her with a penetrating gaze, "You can't afford to decide that a life on the run and a life where you're only making enemies and having no friends can be worth it."

Natie shook her head hopelessly, "You think you're such a horrible person, but would you be warning me if you were?"

Kirk sighed, "That might be true, but only in theory." He wondered briefly if Natie was going to stay here until he relented. He hoped that something of his argument had gotten through to her because he didn't want anyone to be with him when he went to face whoever the leader of Cem's organization was. Kirk knew where Cem was, and with that knowledge Kirk could stop the threat before it spread. There was even a chance that it already had spread too far for Kirk to stem the flow.

"Cut your ties before you have any feelings," Kirk said firmly. "You won't have any regrets and no one will think badly of you if you leave now and never come back."

"This isn't about feeling guilty, Kirk," She snapped, pounding the wall with her fist. He looked up her contemplatively. "I don't owe you anything, it's true. If anything I should blame you for what happened to Brookes and Nokir, but I don't." She sucked in her breath. "I'm here because I feel like you're probably the first person who ever didn't judge me on first sight. Most people peg me as a criminal because I'm a bounty hunter and I rescued prisoners during the Yuuzhan Vong war. We didn't do it to have allies or friends. All of us gave up friends for a life of morality. Neither of my brothers would have ever asked for anything in return and didn't even try to find love of their own. It didn't matter to them since our life consisted of just the three of us.

"So don't tell me I don't get what you're saying or where you're coming from, because I do," Natie said, letting herself sigh, her eyes softening. "You want to go through life doing exactly what you believe is right and that involves giving up things like permanency and friendship. It's something that some people are okay with."

"Which I am," Kirk pointed out. "I'm not unhappy with my life, Natie. I've lived up to be an upstanding Jedi and I've had my regrets but my life is what it is because I made it that way."

Natie chewed on her lip for a second, keeping her anger in check once more. Kirk was the toughest egg she'd had to crack, even a little. Not even Brookes, who had lost his interest in love and attachments; was never this stubborn. Brookes eventually let himself loose somewhat, but he made the choice to be a bounty hunter to pay back the debts he couldn't as a doctor. Kirk wasn't giving any ground. Natie was almost completely out of ammo to convince him to change his mind.

"Let me ask your something, Natie," Kirk broke into her thoughts, "Why would you honestly care if I died?"

Natie scowled, "Because I wouldn't just want anyone to drop dead."

"I mean me personally," Kirk corrected himself, "You obviously have a specific reason." Natie didn't say anything. "Natie?"

"I don't know!" She blurted when he opened his mouth again. "Look, I don't know, okay?" She grunted, "It's this feeling that I have that won't leave me alone and it has nothing to do with moral value. I think if it was about repaying a debt, I'd have found a way to pay it already and been on my way. But it's not."

"So you're not the type to leave things be, hmm?" Kirk said with a thoughtful glance in her direction.

"No," Natie said, folding her arms across her chest. "What's it to you?"

Kirk chuckled, "It's just a very Jedi-like quality." He nodded, "You're not force sensitive, are you?"

"Force what?" Natie asked, frowning in confusion. He shook his head.

"Never mind," He paused for a moment as he considered his options. There was a chance that she was either force sensitive or was at least capable of helping out the Jedi in some way. It was probably a good idea, therefore, to bring Natie to Luke. At which point Kirk could leave her among friends Kirk trusted. It was probably the only way he could get her to agree on dropping the subject. She could then find a new life: one without Kirk in it.

"You can come with me to Coruscant," Kirk said finally, "But I'm only taking you there because of my former teacher, Luke Skywalker. He'll be able to give you some direction if anything. Then you have to agree to stay as far away from me as possible."

Natie thought about it and decided it was the best option she was going to get out of Kirk, at least for the time being. "Fine."

Jaina wasn't entirely sure what to say now that she had the person she'd been missing for nearly three or four years because she'd thought he was dead. After Zekk had explained, in detail, how Anakin had refused to let Zekk stay in the void and that Anakin had additionally offered his own life in payment for the return of Zekk's, Jaina found herself in stunned silence. Two years were shortened for a reason that Zekk refused to mention, and the dark haired man could only wait patiently as Jaina processed the information.

"So you're not a ghost?" She said breathlessly.

"Hardly," Zekk said with a wry grin.

"I still don't believe it," Jaina said quietly. Zekk nodded. He couldn't blame Jaina for being in shock after he'd returned from the dead. The only one who'd known that Zekk could come back was Anakin and he wouldn't have said anything until he was sure that Zekk could return for sure.

"If it's any consolation," Zekk began hesitantly with a nervous smile, "I wasn't all that happy in the void."

Jaina frowned at him, "Why would that be a consolation?"

Zekk shrugged, "I don't know, the whole if you hurt: I hurt, it's all about relating to each other or something like that." He attempted to grin but faltered when he saw Jaina's expression.

"Knowing you were hurt doesn't make me _happy, _Zekk. Why do you think I wasn't able to move on after you died?"

Zekk regarded her, "Why didn't you?"

"I just told you, didn't I? I didn't like the fact that you were dead. It hurt," She said, almost bitterly. He nodded. Zekk didn't blame Jaina for resenting that he'd gone and sacrificed himself suddenly and left her without any closure.

"I guess I deserve some flack," Zekk said, "Or a lot. However much three years accumulates."

Jaina punched his arm, "Forget about punishing yourself. Being back here should be enough of one."

Zekk stared blankly at Jaina for a second, "What do you mean?"

Jaina looked down, "Things have changed…. A lot since you left." She lowered her gaze. Zekk looked at her.

"Are you seeing someone else?" He asked, his eyes revealing the fear he'd had to put aside while he was in the void.

"No, but I almost did," Jaina replied. Zekk hid his relief behind his honest confusion at her statement.

"Almost?" Zekk questioned. "Did you kiss?"

"No," Jaina said, averting her gaze.

"Then why does it matter?" Zekk said gently.

"Because I moved on, even if it was for a short amount of time. I liked someone else besides you, Zekk," She said, lowering her head. Zekk gently squeezed her shoulder.

"Look, I don't blame you, Jay," He replied with a concerned look, "I wanted you to do something that'd make you happy. If that meant finding someone new, I hoped you would." He sighed, "I didn't know if I could help you anymore, and if there was someone else who could, I would have let him." When Jaina continued to look disconcerted, Zekk reached over and lifted her head a little. "Come on, Jay, what's wrong?"

She averted her gaze as she lifted her sleeves to show the bandages. Zekk's eyes narrowed and then he glanced between the bandages and Jaina's face. He held them gently in his hands as he frowned at her, "When did you do this?"

"A month ago," Jaina replied in a low tone.

"Force, Jaina, what were you thinking?" He said, sucking in his breath.

Jaina shook her head, "I don't know, I really don't, I just couldn't think straight after you and Jacen died."

Zekk's body tensed. "Jacen's gone too?" Jaina nodded wordlessly. "I feel like this is my fault."

Jaina glared at Zekk, "How is it your fault?"

"Because I died when I should have tried to come back," Zekk replied. "Maybe I could have done something to help Jacen."

"No, if you'd done that, you'd both still be dead," Jaina replied firmly.

"Still," Zekk said stubbornly, "I never should have left you."

"You were trying to complete the mission, it was important," Jaina said with a shrug. "Nobody blames you. You were a hero, you know."

Zekk turned a little red, "Me? Yeah, right."

"You were," Jaina insisted, "Even the Jedi Order and the New Republic Council acknowledges that," She looked painfully prideful. "I was happy that you were finally seen as the person you always were."

Zekk was now trying to hide his bright red face by hanging it low, "You give me way more credit than I deserve."

Jaina smiled, "I don't think so."

He shook his head, "That's because you're… never mind" Jaina looked suspiciously defensive.

"I'm what?" She said, folding her arms across her chest. "Tell me, Zekk. What am I?"

He raised his head a little and then leaned over and kissed her with full force, sending shivers of relief down Jaina's spine and a sense of comfort between the two of them.

"Amazing," Zekk finished as he broke away.

Anakin had forgotten how much he hated bacta until he was forced into the tank on Yavin-4. He couldn't believe he'd let Tahiri talk him into getting a full treatment and spending even more time in the med-center. It was driving him nuts by the third day and he was on the verge of breaking out of the "prison" as he had begun to call it.

Anakin grunted as he leaned huffily against his pillows. The door opened and a bright eyed Tahiri walked in. He found it hard to remain angry at her while she was smiling like that and dressed in the same orange jumpsuit that Anakin had come to love.

"So how's the patient today?" She asked.

"I hope that's a rhetorical question," Anakin replied sardonically, lowering the book he was reading.

"If you want it to be, then that's fine by me," Tahiri answered, sitting on the side of the bed.

"I'd prefer it if I didn't have to be here at all," Anakin pointed out. Tahiri rolled her eyes.

"It's your fault you had to provoke Xillanor," She said, flicking her bangs from her face, her green eyes now more visible.

"Who said I provoked him?" Anakin asked defensively.

"Your tone," Tahiri said with a knowing expression on her face. Anakin averted his gaze and refused to say anything for five minutes. Tahiri sighed.

"Come on, Anakin, how long are you going to stay mad at me?" She asked with a sober face.

"I'm not," He answered stiffly.

"So why aren't you looking at me?" Tahiri questioned skeptically. She waited for a minute as Anakin slowly turned his head around to look at her directly. His blue eyes looked almost as lost as his unsure facial expression was.

"I want to tell you why I stopped on Coruscant," He said reluctantly, his voice barely audible. Tahiri watched him silently. "Zekk came back… from the void."

Tahiri smiled, "Well that's good, isn't it?" When Anakin didn't respond she gave him a concerned look. "Anakin?"

"It wasn't Jacen's life that got Zekk back," Anakin said, gritting his teeth, "Someone else is going to die."

Tahiri watched Anakin for a moment, "Then whose life is going to pay?"

Anakin stared at her, "Does it matter? Someone else is going to have to die and it's because I couldn't save Zekk in the first place. If I'd given my life force from the-" Tahiri grasped his arm in an iron grip.

"Don't even think about saying that you should have stayed in there," Tahiri replied, "Zekk's alive, Anakin. That's a good thing. If you weren't here, a lot of things would be wrong."

Anakin frowned skeptically, "Like what?"

"Your parents, Jaina, Mara would be dead because you weren't there to get her out of that mess," She paused, "And I wouldn't have been able to make it."

Anakin shrugged, "You'd find someone else." Tahiri punched his arm.

"Ow, you don't punch hospital patients!" He exclaimed indignantly. Tahiri ignored him.

"I might see someone else who's great but I wouldn't love anyone else, Anakin. When are you going to get that through your thick head?" Tahiri asked.

Anakin blinked at her, "Sorry." He said, shaking his head. "I'm just…" He shook his head again. "Never mind."

"It's okay, Anakin," Tahiri said, "I'm not blaming you. What happened on Mykyr was hard on all of us. None of us knew what to make of it. We all wanted to be able to blame ourselves." She pushed Anakin's bangs back, "But that doesn't mean it's our fault every time something goes wrong."

Anakin smiled wanly, his blue eyes darkening, "I wish I could think like you."

"You can but you feel like it's your responsibility to blame yourself," Tahiri said.

"I have to," Anakin said, the desperation evident in his voice, "I can't just let it go."

Tahiri placed a hand on his, "Try."

Anakin concentrated and then shook his head, "Tahiri…" He said in a hopeless tone. She continued to hold his hand.

"Do it, Anakin, let go," She urged. Anakin breathed heavily as the images of Mykyr flashed through his mind. Zekk's surrender to death before the rocks came down on him, the blood as Jacen was hit, the Vongcor as it trampled through the forest, Anakin was responsible for all of it. Anakin grimaced and then he felt it slipping from him. Tahiri was there, taking some of the pain from him.

"Tahiri," He protested but she continued to squeeze his hand and send comfort through the force. _It's okay, Anakin. Let me help you let go. _He hesitated and then lowered his mental wall once more. Slowly all the burden lessened and the outcomes of all the situations had Anakin not been there came into his mind. Tahiri was creating the images for him; she was replacing the others with new images and taking the old with her.

After ten minutes Anakin reopened his eyes, the icy blue color now returning along with the small sparkle that caught along the edges with the light from the room. Tahiri continued to hold his hand even after she too opened her eyes.

"Better?" She asked. Anakin nodded.

"Yeah, thanks," He smiled a tired but clearly relieved smile. Tahiri felt the weightlessness that had been a long time in coming and felt her own smile creeping across her features. He glanced around. "Come on," He slipped off the bed, throwing on his jumpsuit, which sat on the chair next to the bed, and tugged Tahiri's hand.

"Where are we going?" Tahiri asked, running to keep up with Anakin's stride. He gave her a grin.

"Does it matter?" He questioned, "Are you okay with random destinations?"

She smiled contently, "By all means," She replied, her own grin visible from every inch of her body, "Lead on."

Kirk stepped off the ramp and was greeted by Kam and Tionne. "I thought you'd still be on Coruscant." He commented. Kam shrugged.

"Luke wanted us for something, so we'll be here for a few days. He mentioned you were coming," Kam smiled. "Have you met Tionne?"

Kirk extended his hand and shook Tionne's, "Kam's got good taste," Kirk said with a warm smile.

"Both of you are bad liars," Tionne said with a wry smile, "But thank you."

Kam looked up as Natie made her way down the ramp, "And who's your friend, Kirk?"

"This is Natie Renders," Kirk said, "Natie, this is Kam and Tionne," Kirk said, gesturing to each as he named his friends. Natie shook hands and then stepped back.

"Are you two-?" Kam asked and before he could continue Kirk shook his head firmly.

"No, I'm just dropping her off and then I'm heading out again," Kirk answered flatly. Kam hid his disappointment.

"Oh, I see," Kam looked at Tionne, "We would have liked to have caught up a little more."

Kirk nodded, "You know how my life is, Kam," Kirk said.

"I know, I just hoped it had changed," Kam looked hopefully at Kirk who remained impassive.

"I've got something to take care of," Kirk replied, which was Kirk and Kam's private code for 'Jedi mission with likely fatal results.'

Kam said, and then cleared his throat, "Well, we'd best go find Luke. He's the man of the hour it seems." Kam started away, Tionne right beside him and Kirk and Natie trailing behind.

"Don't you think you should have stayed in the hospital a little longer?" She asked quietly enough that only she and Kirk could hear. He kept his eyes ahead as he responded.

"I'd overstayed my welcome and I have a mission to take care of immediately," Kirk replied without so much as a glance Natie's way.

"Why's it so important?" Natie asked. "That you have to do it right after you got out of the hospital."

Kirk graced her with a brief stare before returning his attention to the hallway ahead of them, "Because I'm the only one who knows about Cem Fel's location. I have to find out who it is that he works for."

"Wouldn't that involve a lot of risks?" Natie asked cautiously, not wanting Kirk to explode at her naïve question. He nodded.

"There isn't ever anything I do that doesn't." Kirk replied, "I do things because they're right, not because it's safe."

Natie grunted, "I got that much, but why only you?" She asked, "You could tell someone else and they could help you."

Kirk smiled in an almost sadly understanding way, "Your heart's in the right place, Natie. But sometimes there are things that you need to do on your own."

"Even if you never come back because of that?" Natie asked, almost hesitating to voice her question. Kirk regarded her calmly and then did something that made Natie almost do a double take, he ran his hand gently over her cheek and then brushed her bangs from her face.

"Yes," He answered and stopped at the wide lobby connected to the docking bay. In it stood the brown robed form of Luke Skywalker, his warm and welcoming smile came to rest on Natie after looking at Kirk, Tionne, and Kam.

"Natie Renders?" Luke said, walking over, and extending his hand. "I'm Luke Skywalker. Kirk told me about you."

Natie glanced behind her only to see that Kirk was gone. "Yeah, I'm Natie." She said slowly. Luke smiled.

"We'll find you somewhere to stay and I'll find something for you to help with," He looked around, "Do you have any bags?"

Natie lifted the small beat up woven bag that Kirk had lent her. "No, just this," She replied. Luke nodded.

"Well, we'd best get you to your new apartment. I'm afraid it's small, but it'll have to do until we can get you something a little more upbeat." Luke explained as he began to walk down the lobby. "We'll be taking a landspeeder to your building. I'll give you a comlink and my number so you can contact me if you need anything."

"Take ours too," Kam said, "We're here for another week or two and we can help you get situated." He held out a piece of paper, which Natie took tentatively. She wasn't used to having so many people be so amiable and willing to help her out. It was she, Brookes, and Nokir against the galaxy in the past, but it seemed like that was about to change. It was now just Natie against whatever her new life had to offer.

"Sorry if Kirk wasn't much for company," Luke said, noticing Natie's expression. "He's a bit abrupt but he means well."

Natie nodded, "I know. He told me about his past." She replied as they exited the building to the curb where the landspeeder was waiting. Natie climbed in after Luke and he started it up.

"Did he?" Luke asked, somewhat surprised. "You must have pressed him a lot."

"He kind of just talked about it after a while," Natie said. "I mean I talked about me mostly but he told me about his past because he didn't want to stick around."

Luke looked thoughtful, "I wonder why."

"Doesn't he do that to everyone?" Natie asked. Luke shrugged.

"Mostly Kirk just avoids the subject altogether or changes it," Luke turned the corner and took a second to look at her. "You must have said something really powerful to make him open up like that."

Natie sighed, "I don't know about that."

The speeder pulled up at a large building with hundreds of glass windows and a nice view of the city from all the balconies. "Let's get inside," Luke said and took her bag with him as he climbed out. Natie was surprised at how fast Luke had gotten her into an apartment building and how quickly she'd already become accustomed to his presence. He seemed like the kind of person one just warmed up to easily.

After ten minutes of talking with the doorman, Luke handed Natie her key. "Do you need any more help?" Luke asked.

"No, I'm okay," Natie replied. "Thank you."

"Well, I'd best be home soon," Luke said with a friendly smile, "My wife, Mara, and my son don't like it when I stay out too long unless it's on Jedi business."

Natie laughed a little, nostalgia creeping into her memory. Nokir frowning when Natie came back late from running errands not related to their raids or to their rescues and Brookes fussing over her "curfew" and her injuries when she got into scuffles with street thugs. "It's okay, my brothers were the same way."

Luke nodded, "We're all bound to share some similarities," He inclined his head, "Have a good night and may the force be with you." Then Luke was gone, leaving Natie alone to think about her next step.

Kirk went into hyperspace as soon as he was clear of Coruscant. He knew the jump point almost as well as he knew his name at this point. The burns on his hands tingled occasionally but Kirk used the force to push back the pain. It wasn't enough for him to worry about it.

As soon as his ship pulled out of hyperspace he looked up to see the shape of a wolf looming in his frontal-viewport. He clicked on his com-channel to hail the person just as he noticed the white light gathering in the front of the turbo-lasers. Kirk immediately buckled his crash webbing tighter and he fired as the turbo-lasers hit him straight on, five times straight.

He tried moving his ship but it was held firmly by a glowing light around him. _Kriff, a tractor beam? Nobody's used that since the empire._ Two more blasts struck his ship before one smashed through the glass of his ship.

Everything faded to black.

**A/N- More tomorrow (I get off work at 3 so I'll be writing at around 3:30), thanks for reading! =) **


	32. Painful Pride

**Chapter 31**

**Painful Pride **

_A/N- Sorry for the cliffie, Everyone, but I promise this chapter will make up for it. I'm working towards the central conflict and it's about to heat up even more (if the last chappie was any indication). _

_That said. We have four more chapters until you have to have met the hit/review count. Remember that!_

_VOTE IN THE OCs POLL ON MY PROFILE IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY!! I'll post the results once I think everyone who's reading this story has voted. Who'll win? You decide!!! =)_

_Please enjoy! _

_-Don =)_

* * *

Anakin smiled as he felt the sun on his face. After wandering around the lower level of Coruscant and talking, Tahiri and Anakin finally decided to just lie down in a small clearing for a while. Anakin could almost hear Cilghal yelling for his return to the med-center. Tahiri apparently had noticed too because she opened one eye to look at him with a curious expression.

"You should really be back in the med-center with all your injuries," She pointed out, though wasn't being nearly as forceful as she could have been about the subject. Seeing Anakin relaxed for a change was better than seeing him all worked up about being a med-center for hours on end: or being in a med-center period.

"Five more minutes," Anakin said, his eyes still closed. After another moment he commented to no one in particular, "I like how quiet it is out here. I definitely see why Jacen liked the outdoors so much."

Tahiri watched Anakin, trying to figure out if that statement was the explanation of why he'd led her all the way out here. She figured he'd just voiced his mind and that didn't really require much of an answer. He turned his head and lightly touched her arm.

"Tahiri?"

"Mmm?" She shifted onto her side to look at him.

"You know I was trying to survive out there, right?" Anakin asked. If she hadn't had such a strong connection to Anakin's mind, she wouldn't have understood the context of what he was saying, but she knew either way exactly what he was talking about since there was only thing that made clear sense in regard to the question.

She nodded and replied quietly, "I know," He smiled before kissing her on the forehead.

"We can go back now," He said, starting to sit up but Tahiri pulled him back down.

"I think Cilghal can afford to fume a little bit more," Tahiri grinned mischievously.

"It's my head that'll be ripped off not yours, though," Anakin said indignantly.

She smirked, "You should have thought of that before you brought me out here, Dummy." Anakin groaned a little and then found he didn't really care all that much what Cilghal said to him.

"Alright, you win," He mused to Tahiri before kissing her on the lips, she responded in kind and after they broke apart, he leaned forward again but she shoved him back down onto the ground, in what was meant to be a playful gesture but Anakin raised an eyebrow.

"If you want to be rid of me that badly, why didn't you just let me go back to the med-center?" She knew Anakin wasn't being serious but she still decided to give him a hard time right back.

"Because it's so much fun to torment you by sitting five feet apart," She then stood up and moved that exact distance away. Anakin scowled.

"Have it your way," He said with a chuckle and started to walk away, but didn't get far before Tahiri was hugging him from behind, a little more tightly than she normally would. He sensed the difference in her emotions from the joking attitude of before.

"Are you okay?" He questioned.

"Of course I am," Tahiri said. Anakin turned around and kept her at a distance so he could get a better look into her eyes.

"Tahiri," He said, his tone indicating that he both didn't buy her response and that he wasn't going to let her off without an explanation.

"Do I need a reason to hug you?" She asked a little humorously.

"Come on, you know there was something else going on just now," Anakin countered. "Tell me."

Tahiri sighed, knowing full well that Anakin was probably reading more into her actions than was necessary but it was probably about time she voiced her feelings a little more clearly.

"I was just thinking," Tahiri began slowly and almost reluctantly. Anakin followed her eyes as they shifted from their surroundings to Anakin's gentle blue ones. "That maybe we should make it official," She continued when she saw his look of incomprehension. "Our relationship."

"You mean…?" He began.

"Yes," Tahiri said with an affirmative smile. "It's been almost two years since we left and we've been spending enough time together that it seems ridiculous not to."

"Still," Anakin said, rubbing the back of his neck, "You remember how my parents reacted to the news of us dating and to Tenel Ka being pregnant. This is…" He shook his head, he could feel his stomach twisting at the thought. Tahiri took his hands in hers.

"You're not telling them alone, you know," She said, "It's _our _choice, so we have to tell them together. We can tell my parents at the same time." She tried to get a closer look at Anakin's eyes to see what he was thinking before she sensed it through the force.

"I," He then straightened, "Well I guess I already made it official between us. What's a little more music?"

Tahiri grinned, "That's the attitude you need to have when we tell them. We need to make it clear that we're serious."

Anakin regarded Tahiri for a moment, "You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?"

She shrugged, "Well, yeah, I mean, haven't you?"

Anakin nodded, "Mostly in the sense of in all ways that mattered we already were…. Married."

Tahiri had to raise her entire brow at that, "Anakin."

"Er…" He turned bright red. He knew exactly why she'd said that. They weren't at the point Jacen and Tenel Ka had been when they were married. Whether or not that was a good thing, was still in question.

"I thought so," Tahiri said in a bemused tone, "You really haven't given much thought as to what order you want to do this in."

"What order?" He almost couldn't choke out the words, "Oh, force."

Tahiri laughed, "You're so ridiculous when it comes to this stuff."

"I don't think I'm the one who's being ridiculous. You're the one who always brings up this topic," Anakin countered evenly, his face growing steadily redder by the minute.

"Only because you won't bring it up yourself," Tahiri answered, folding her arms across her chest.

"I-" He ground his teeth nervously, "I don't want to rush you."

Tahiri sighed, "Look, Anakin, if you're not ready, we don't have to." She waited a moment while Anakin worked his jaw.

"We've talked about this before, I'm not nervous," Anakin said, making a poor attempt at covering his feet as they shifted. Tahiri placed both hands on his shoulders.

"Anakin, I'm not mad. We don't have to tell our parents or do anything period, until you want to."

Anakin groaned, resting his head in his palm, "That's not it."

Tahiri gazed at him, her eyes scanning his face, "Then what is it?"

"I don't have any idea what to do," He lifted his head, "You know."

Tahiri's eyes narrowed in understanding and then she sighed, "I don't either, what did you expect?"

He shrugged, "The decision to be easier to make. It's a little scary." Anakin rubbed his other arm with his hand.

Tahiri had to laugh, "You've conquered worse things, Anakin."

"Actually, no, not really," He admitted with a forced laugh. Anakin gazed back up at the Academy where he could feel Cilghal's irritation turning to worry. Tahiri obviously sensed it too because she was watching him for his decision.

"I want to think about this," He answered, "I want to tell my parents but I want to think about everything else too."

Tahiri nodded, "I have to think about too, Anakin. So there's no rush." She took his hand and squeezed it. "Ready?"

He nodded, "More or less," Anakin then started forward, matching Tahiri's pace as they made their way back to the Academy where Cilghal was waiting with all her voice to explode at them. Ironically, it didn't require any force at all for Cilghal to project her voice when she was annoyed.

Natie stood up and began pacing for the fifth time that day. After hearing from Luke Skywalker that Kirk's ship's signal had gone dead and that Kirk's force presence, or whatever Luke had called the Jedi sense of life, couldn't be found, Natie had to assume the worst. Kirk's antics had finally killed him and he was off somewhere in the galaxy where no one could find him.

"He can mask his force presence, or his life signal if you want to call it that," Luke had explained, "So he's probably just in a place where he can't contact anyone."

Natie didn't buy it. Something was definitely wrong. The whole situation felt off for some reason and she wasn't even sure why. She'd told Luke as much and the Jedi Master had assured Natie that he was looking into it, but the efforts were taking too long, even for Luke's quick call to action of all the Jedi he knew who weren't on duty it wasn't quick enough for Natie. She wanted to go out and search for Kirk on her own. But Luke had insisted that if Kirk was in fact missing because of his mission, it was better to go when they were more informed.

Informed meant more time wasted in Natie's opinion. Though she had never been one to wait, in fact she hated the whole concept altogether and wondered how Jedi ever managed to stay sane with all their impatience cast aside. She jolted as the phone rang for the umpteenth time with Luke's hourly update.

"Did you find him?" Natie blurted before Luke could say anything. She honestly had no idea why she was getting so worked up over this or why Kirk mattered so much, her answer to his question about the subject in the hospital was completely honest. She truly and indubitably had no clue whatsoever as to what was wrong with her right now. If Brookes were in the room he'd be lecturing her on how ridiculous she was being about something that didn't concern her or how it was out of her hands.

Natie hated that mentality. That there was nothing she could do to stop the things she had from slipping away. _Can I lose something I never had? _A voice in her head questioned. Kirk wasn't a permanent piece of her life, in fact he was pretty much as impermanent as the few people who'd help the raids occasionally by supplying weapons. They never stayed long and often took the weapons back when they were done. It was a passing breeze, a small relief to the dry feeling that nagged at the back of Natie's mind. She was sure it was the same feeling Nokir and Brookes had felt time and time again.

Luke continued despite the fact that Natie stopped listening after his simple response of, "We're working on finding out where he went."

"I'm asking two of my colleagues to search for Kirk but we can't spare too many Jedi at the moment since there's a chance that whoever keeps attacking our Jedi might strike an innocent planet or possibly the Academy on Yavin 4."

Natie blinked at that, "Academy?"

Luke sounded surprised, "Kirk didn't mention that there's an Academy for young Jedi students?"

"Well, he said he went to one, but I didn't know it was that official," Natie replied, feeling her own surprise building. No wonder Kirk was so detached, anything connected to the Jedi was connected to the Academy, and thus it was something Kirk wanted to avoid altogether.

"Kirk was practically raised there, you see, his parents abandoned him when he was a little boy so he grew up trying to get by on raids and theft." Luke explained, "Kirk didn't want anything to do with anyone from the beginning. Least of all any of the Jedi since he believed that we could have helped him to fix his situation earlier but we didn't, so he came to the conclusion that Jedi couldn't help with what was important. He only changed because he met one person at the Academy."

"That quickly?" Natie asked skeptically.

"Not immediately, no. But Kirk certainly warmed up to those around him because of Nina." Luke replied. "It wasn't his fault that she died but he still blames himself for it," Luke's voice betrayed the hopeless feeling that Natie was sure many felt around Kirk. He was a difficult person to understand and an even harder person to connect with. Even Kam, who Natie could tell was a close friend of Kirk's, couldn't get through to him.

"I hoped that Kirk might have changed his mind since he left but it seems like he still doesn't want to accept that he can still care about someone without hurting them." Luke certainly sounded to Natie just now like a father who was raising a wayward son, "He really is a gentle person: he's just forgotten that he is."

The image of Kirk as he reached out to touch Natie's face flashed through her mind. _Kirk forgot? So he just did that impulsively? _Natie tried her best to keep her voice calm. "He's missing, though. Isn't there some way you can tell if he's okay?"

"Well," Luke began hesitantly, "Like I said before, Kirk could be blocking our ability to feel his life presence through the force, so we can't tell if he's alive or not. I'm sure he's fine but we won't know for sure until we find him."

This was the point that they kept hitting and going absolutely nowhere with, "I could just go with two Jedi and find him. Or on my own," Natie said, not really offering at this point. "I'm not exactly under your jurisdiction or anything."

Luke sighed, "No, you're not. You are at liberty to do whatever you wish and if you want to you may leave and look for Kirk. But I caution you against running off into the galaxy when you have no idea what's out there. This enemy Kirk is tracking has already killed my nephew."

Natie went silent for a full three minutes. Luke's own nephew was killed by this guy? What was Kirk doing going after this enemy on his own? The whole idea seemed ludicrous, Kirk handling it on his own.

"Kirk's more capable of handling people like that than any other Jedi I know," Luke said soothingly. His confidence in his former student was clear as day to Natie but she still wondered if Luke was overestimating Kirk's abilities. "I have to trust that Kirk can hold out until we can officially designate who the enemy is and prepare the New Republic and its Jedi against the enemy."

"But that'll take too long," Natie argued and unable to hold her temper in check any longer she growled, "Kirk could be dead out there and you want to wait."

Luke nodded, even though he knew she couldn't see him doing so, "I understand your fear and frustration, Natie. But you have to wait until we know more."

How long, Luke never said.

Jaina watched in a mix of relief and confused anguish as Zekk's former grave was removed from the cemetery. His return had come as a shock to many, though Luke wasn't as surprised as some. Leia was full of relief that something was now making Jaina smile and was now concentrated on making sure that Zekk remained as close to "civilized" as possible.

Jaina didn't mind her mother's judgments half as much as she might have. Altogether Jaina was just happy to be able to see Zekk again and to be able to actually feel him through the force and physically as he held her hand.

"Jay, you're hurting my hand," Zekk said. Jaina loosened her grip on his hand.

"Sorry," She said, lowering her gaze. He smiled in understanding. He didn't blame her for feeling a little nervous about letting go of him since he'd felt some desperation of his own since he'd come back to the world in his physical form. Only having been half alive in the void, Zekk couldn't really tell what he was feeling and what the force was feeling. Now he could make the distinction the occasional twinge of fear that he'd turn around and be back in the void again. Their hands touching kept his thoughts from wandering down that path.

"I'm not going anywhere," He said, squeezing her hand and sending his confidence to Jaina through the force.

She threw him a warning glance, "You better not." Though her voice sounded like her usual tough and often sardonic self, there was a hint of terror at the thought. Zekk obviously felt it because he shifted closer to Jaina. The grave site where Zekk's stone used to be was now cleared and Zekk looked over at Jaina.

"Looks like I'm a free man," Zekk's green eyes rested on Jaina. "Come on, let's go find somewhere to eat. Being the void can make you hungrier than you can imagine."

Jaina raised an eyebrow, "Is that what this is about, food?" She shook her head in mock disappointment.

"Food's just an excuse," Zekk said, fixing Jaina with a warm smile. "The main attraction is walking next to me."

"You're full of nerf steak," Jaina said, making a weird face at him and walking further ahead, briefly letting go of his hand. His face fell and then he jogged to catch up with her

"Hey, I was trying to be charming," Zekk said, grasping her hand again, lacing his fingers through her so that she couldn't pull away as easily.

"Charming on you is criminal," Jaina said with a wry smile, "Not to mention comical."

"Well, la-ti-da, Ms. Solo," He said sardonically, though he still wore a broad grin. "Aren't we amused by Zekk's idiocy today," He raised his own brow at her.

"And the fact that he's talking in third person," Jaina added with an airy sigh.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you think I'm lame," Zekk said folding his arms across his chest as they walked. Jaina halted and stood in front of him, momentarily rendering Zekk motionless as she stared at him.

"I think you can be idiotic sometimes, Zekk, but not lame," She reached over and pulled his arm down and held his hand again. "Don't try to be charming, your personality has its own charm." Zekk let himself be led, his mind still temporarily stunned by Jaina's compliment.

"You weren't joking about the idiotic part, were you?" He said, giving her a knowing look.

"Is that the _only_ part you focused on?" Jaina asked warily.

"It's hard not to when your girlfriend calls you idiotic," Zekk pointed out. Jaina felt a strange sensation as Zekk said 'girlfriend,' and wondered if it was because he'd never actually openly used the term around her or anyone else. Or maybe it was because he'd been away for so long that Jaina felt strange being back together again. Whichever the case, the feeling was both new and pleasantly old in a comforting way.

"I said sometimes, Zekk, not all the time," Jaina corrected. Zekk grunted.

"You still called me idiotic. Do you hear me calling you stupid?" Zekk asked. Jaina paused for a second. It was true, no matter how far Zekk went with his teasing he never went as far as to say something negative about Jaina.

"You're right, sorry," Jaina said. Zekk caught the guilt in her voice and shook his head.

"Doesn't matter, I know you don't mean it like that," He leaned over and kissed her on the lips before continuing walking once more. Zekk paused for a moment as a thought occurred to him.

"I have an idea of where we can go," He said with the same broad cocky grin that Jaina had missed so badly for almost two or three years. Without waiting for Jaina's response, he pulled her into a run through the rest of the cemetery.

Tenel Ka turned her head to the side, the air around her bedroom always seemed especially cold at night and even during the day there was an unusual draft. Tenel Ka couldn't seem to figure out why no one else was bothered by it, except for Valin, whose sensitivity to his environment was stronger than Tenel Ka's at times.

It was clear after a while that Tenel Ka simply missed Jacen's presence at the one time of day when she was alone with her thoughts and lying awake to consider her life as it was now. She wondered at times, even if it was foolishly so, if Jacen had loved her and thought about her right before he died. It was a selfish thought but no matter how many times Tenel Ka brushed it aside, she couldn't decide if Jacen truly had her on his mind as much as she did him.

Part of her wanted to say, "Of course he loved you, he opened himself up to you in every way possible."

There was always the opposite side which was, "He did, but you probably weren't the last thing he thought about when he died."

Tenel Ka shook the thoughts from her mind and turned over once again to face the wall. Not that it made any difference the wall looked the same on either side. Jacen would have told her to repaint it if he was here right now. With some ridiculous color choice too if Jacen were allowed full reign and if Tenel Ka were to be honest, she'd admit that she'd love every minute of the process. Jacen's mind was something she'd only begin to imagine was filled with ideas that not even the greatest minds of the galaxy could fathom. It gave her a sense of pride to know that even if it was for a short time, Tenel Ka was able to see more of that world than anyone else. She could only guess how incredible living in Jacen's mind could be. He'd probably give her a strange look if she said that since it wasn't something Tenel Ka would readily admit.

There were a lot of things that Tenel Ka regretted not admitting because she was too proud to even think about saying them.

Like telling Jacen how much she really did love him.

Sure she'd said it once or twice and shown him through gestures more than words, but she'd never really outright said the words to him save once: right before the Mykyr mission and the mission that changed the lives of every member of the team. Jacen was different after the mission, he seemed more worn down and his sense of humor was no longer light hearted. He forgot to laugh as much and Tenel Ka wondered if he was really happy around her most of the time.

It was hard to understand Jacen at that point. He hid things from her and risked their relationship because he needed to be noble. Time and time again Tenel Ka tried to tell Jacen that he shouldn't play games with his life like that. If one could even call the three or four times he almost died a "game."

At least that part of Jacen never changed. He was also fun loving and managed to make Tenel Ka laugh through whatever she was doing. As much as she tried to resist it later on, something about Jacen just made Tenel Ka loosen up that the laughter that just came flooding out. At some point he didn't need to try because she was laughing inside, even if she wasn't laughing outwardly.

Tenel Ka squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to fall asleep and to stop all the thoughts from bringing up any memories of Jacen. It was futile. He was all she could think of now that she'd begun down this road.

Something touched her arm. She buried her head in her pillow and tried to ignore it but instead of the small feel of fingers on her arm moving away, she felt warmth around her waist as something wrapped around it. Tenel Ka turned her head to face the two brandy brown eyes she found behind her.

"Jacen?" She blinked her surprise away. He definitely looked real. She reached out and felt the warmth of his chest. It wasn't real, it couldn't be. Yet, here he was in front of her. She could feel him physically. "How is this possible?" She managed to ask finally. He smiled at her.

"The force owes me one for the Mykyr mission," He sighed, "So it gave me a chance to help you find some closure."

Tenel Ka shook her head slowly, "No, you cannot leave again, Jacen." He pressed his forehead to hers.

"For now, I won't," He replied. "But this is only temporary since my life force is already going to someone else."

Tenel Ka looked at him curiously, "What do you mean?"

Jacen looked over his shoulder towards the room where Valin was sound asleep, "Every life presence that dies, returns to the void and then becomes another life. It's a cycle of life going from one body to the next. Since my life presence has another body to go to, I can't stay here."

Tenel Ka grasped her arms around Jacen's neck and didn't even let go when he shifted so his body was closer to hers. The warmth returned to the room and Tenel Ka could finally feel herself relaxing.

"Jacen?" She said.

"Yeah?" His brandy eyes focused on Tenel Ka's granite.

"I love you," She said, "No matter what you have done in the past or what you wanted of yourself, I have loved you for a long time and I do not think I would want you to be any other way than you are now."

Jacen's eyes widened in surprise, "I'm… wow… thanks." He turned bright red like a young teenager who was just given his first kiss.

"Tenel Ka," Jacen said, stroking her cheek with his hand. "I want you to know that I… I thought about you right before I died: you and Valin, and the new baby. All of you are my life and always will be. I wanted to tell you I loved you right before I died but I didn't get the chance to. I'm sorry it has be like this, but I hope you'll forgive me," He leaned over and kissed her in the hardest more passionate way that he could manage, every fiber of his being moved closer until he was right up against her. Tenel Ka let herself sink into the feeling of Jacen's lips on hers and sent every thought and feeling she'd ever wanted to express to him through their bond. Jacen did likewise and soon Tenel Ka no longer felt the air of the room anymore. It was just Jacen and she with their arms around each other. It wasn't long before Tenel Ka started to drift off, her body still close to his.

She looked into his eyes as he kissed her forehead, her eyes closed in the moment, and she felt the warmth flooding into her and when she opened them again, she still felt the warmth… but Jacen was gone.

* * *

Synthor turned as Jacen materialized into the void. "Is the debt repaid then?"

Jacen smiled, "Thanks... for letting me go."

The force shrugged, "A life saved is always something to be repaid, Jacen Solo."

Jacen rubbed the back of his neck. "It was my sister, what else was I supposed to do?"

"Not everyone will jump in front of a rampaging beast to save someone, even if it is a member of their family," Synthor said with a knowing smile. "It will not be so bad on the other side, Jacen."

For some reason Jacen didn't doubt the force's words for a second, "Well, what are we waiting for?" He then turned his head as the glowing of the swirls around him increased until he himself was barely visible, then he was no more than a glowing mass that disappeared to its next destination.

Tenel winced as she felt something jabbing at her stomach from the inside. She placed a hand over it and felt the soft thudding of the heart inside. A smile crossed her face. For some reason now she felt like Jacen hadn't left at all.

* * *

Jaina let out a long sigh of relief and satisfied exhaustion.

"It's great, huh?" Zekk's voice came from below Jaina's head as it rested on his chest.

"It's amazing out here," She said, the awe in her eyes and dripping from her voice. They were on one of the high platforms on Zenoma Sekot overlooking a magnificent stretch of water that cut off at the gold, purple, and red sky in the distance. As the sun went down the stars were made even clearer.

"How did you even know about this place?" Jaina questioned. "You died before anyone found out about it."

Zekk chuckled, "I got around while I was in the void, Jaina. Sekot here is well connected with the force. If you go into the cave on the far side of the planet, you can sometimes talk to the ghosts of past Jedi or even just people who died. That's one of the places I was when I wasn't completely reformed."

"Reformed?" Jaina sat up abruptly. "What do you mean?"

He sighed. Zekk knew this conversation was going to come up eventually. He just hoped it would be later rather than sooner. _Hoping wasn't enough apparently_, he thought wryly. "Jaina, when I died, my body and my force presence were separated. So I couldn't return to my former body. I had to create a new one while I was in the void. It's the same as my other one but, well, older and more force sensitive."

"So the Zekk from before is really dead?" Jaina sounded faintly dejected. He smiled and then shook his head.

"Only in body, but not in force presence and I promise you that I remember everything we've ever experienced." Zekk grasped her hand, "Do you trust me?"

Jaina averted her eyes, "I don't know, Zekk. You make it sound like you're a different person."

Zekk grinned, "Well, you're not the same either. Let's call it even?" He looked into her eyes for a moment, the same penetrating gaze that he used when he was trying to figure something out.

"Okay," She relented, "But the moment you start seeming like you're some kind of alien I'm ditching you."

Zekk laughed, "Deal," He gave her a curious glance, "Just out of curiosity, what kind of alien do you think I'd be?"

"A nerf."

"Shoot me now, my girlfriend thinks I'm a piece of meat," Zekk groaned as he leaned back on the platform. The stars now littered the bluish black sky in tiny clusters and Jaina could make out some of the planets from the galaxy. It was probably the best view of the galaxy she'd ever seen and she'd been flying since she could walk.

"Zekk?"

He turned slightly and his eyes went wide as she kissed him hard and it took all his strength not to laugh at the faces of the Sytars down below as they stared curiously at the kissing couple. He broke off for a second.

"Are you that embarrassed?" Jaina asked with a mocking grin. He shook his head.

"Nah, let 'em look all they want," He then returned Jaina's previous kiss with full force, both of them too literally wrapped up to notice that Luke Skywalker had walked past down below, his head shaking in silent amusement.

* * *

Almost six months had passed. There was still no sign or indication of return from Kirk. Natie felt like she was being left in the dark. She'd heard that in the time that he'd been missing, a baby had been born to the Queen of Hapes, a little girl. Natie didn't know much about Hapes except that it had in the past had harbored an anti-Jedi sentiment, but now it was ruled by a Jedi whose children were Jedi as well.

Natie couldn't believe she'd let six months pass by without her own instincts kicking in and her usual determination to accomplish things on her own taking her to find Kirk. But she found herself convinced time and time again that she was better off leaving the search to the Jedi. Soon weeks became a month and one month became two and then it was six months and nothing had turned up.

Luke had said something about creatures called, "Ylasmiri," that could mask force presences and keep even the strongest Jedi from using the force when the creatures were around. If Kirk was surrounded by them, was that why he couldn't be found? Natie didn't know. All she knew was that she'd been idle enough and that she was ready to leave.

Which she was now in the process of doing, with the blasters she had borrowed from Luke and the other friends of Kirk's, she packed her ship with rations and any form of search technology she could gather, and was now setting off in a ship she'd familiarized herself with during the last few months. It was pretty much the only thing that she was allowed to do without some scrutiny from Luke Skywalker, who was like a hawk convinced that his prey was trying to make a break for it, which to be fair, she was.

With the engines all set and all her supplies, Natie checked behind her and then slipped on board the ship. Luke still refused to give her a ship, but that didn't mean that he could stop Natie from commandeering one. She was about to close the ramp when she heard the footsteps, she tensed and then looked around in surprise when she saw it wasn't anyone she knew.

The dark haired man had piercing green eyes and his small amount of facial hair around his chin gave him an almost roguish look. "I was wondering who was trying to steal my ship."

Natie blinked. "How did you know?"

The man raised an eyebrow, "From one street dweller to another, I'd say your job of sneaking into someone's ship without a trace is pretty poor."

She scowled, "So what now? Are you going to take the ship back and send me on my way just like everyone else?" Natie demanded bitterly, folding her arms across her chest. The man looked taken aback. He held up his hands to placate her but it came off as more of a gesture of surrender.

"Hey, don't get all your blasters out, I'm not Luke Skywalker," Zekk said, knowing that in the process he was insulting his Master to some degree. Although it was truthful: Luke did tend to be overbearing at times. "I was going to offer to help you, but you seem to want to go at this alone. I get that."

Natie's frown turned into a look of interest, "You said you're from the streets?"

"Coruscant, lower levels, why?"

"Same with me," Natie said with a smile. "I'm Natie Renders," She held out her hand.

"Zekk Zahn," He said with a grin. "I only just found out what my last name was. Weird huh?"

Natie shrugged, "Not really. It's more normal in the lower levels to not know what your last name is for your entire life."

"Zekk?" A voice came through the docking bay, putting Natie on the defensive again. A young woman with brown hair and brandy colored eyes rounded the corner. Like Zekk, she had a lightsaber attached to her belt.

"What are you doing?" She demanded of Zekk. He looked sheepish.

"Um, catching her breaking into my ship?" He offered. The woman raised her eyebrow, indicating that she didn't buy his excuse.

"Okay, fine, I was offering to take her to wherever she's going," Zekk said, throwing his arms up in surrender. "Yeesh, I can't get anything past you."

"Better believe it," The woman said with a sharp stare Zekk's way. She turned to Natie.

"So, I guess since Zekk's helping you out, I have to too," She threw Zekk a resentful look. Natie looked confused.

"Um," Zekk said, shifting a little, "Jaina, this is Natie Renders. Natie, this is Jaina Solo, my fiancée."

Natie blinked, "Nice to meet you," She said, still stunned from the sudden introduction and offering of help from two people she barely even knew.

"Sorry about my uncle," Jaina said, "I know he can be a little pushy sometimes, but he means well."

"Your uncle?" Natie said, pausing between the two words. Jaina looked at Zekk.

"Didn't Zekk mention that Luke Skywalker is my uncle?" Jaina asked, throwing a quizzical look at Zekk, who shrugged.

"We hadn't gotten that far before you came," He said. Jaina shrugged.

"Well, yeah, Uncle Luke's a little overprotective of everyone," Jaina waved her hand. "Anyways, what is it you need to find so badly that you're sneaking out at night?"

Natie was glad that her face was hidden in the dark because she turned a deeper shade of scarlet. "I'm trying to find Kirk Dekim."

Zekk and Jaina both sensed the emotion behind the statement to the point where they exchanged silent glances before Jaina spoke again, "You can count us in, Natie."

**A/N- Wooo!! Tomorrow's posting will be up earlier, I hope. But until then, thanks for reading and don't forget to review! The green button is waiting…. For the chosen one!! =)**


	33. Even If Everything Goes

**Chapter 32**

**Even If Everything Goes**

_A/N- Well, there wasn't a cliffie, but I hope this chapter was still anticipated. =)_

_I'm pleased that the hit count on the chapters has continued to go up. But it's still not enough for me to call off only sending the chapter updates to those who have already reviewed. I might delay it another chapter if the hits go up drastically before chapter 34. Keep up the good work and I won't do anything. _

_I need to know what you guys think otherwise I won't be able to make the right improvements to make this series more enjoyable. So please, just return the courtesy that I give when writing and review if you are in fact reading this story. _

_That aside, I am happy to present today's chapter that I was trying to figure out how to write today. _

_Thanks to everyone who has supported the "Namesake" series/trilogy throughout its duration and I hope to continue to have your support to the end as well as in the sequel series "Jedi Mastery."_

_Here's to being a FFN nerd!! _

_-Don =)_

* * *

Anakin lifted his weapon to block the parry and then rolled to use the force to send his opponent sprawling. He made a quick recovery and charged Anakin once more. The smile crossed Anakin's face before his opponent knew what was coming. With a swift pivot and then a leap over the small opponent's head, Anakin dealt a blow to knock his opponent to the floor and then flicked the training stick to the pulsing green neck below Anakin.

"Your movements are quick but you're thinking about your speed and not feeling what my next move will be," Anakin said as he lowered his stick and proffered his hand to his student. Yoda's nephew was definitely talented in the force, Anakin had no doubt. But the young student wasn't close to being ready to take on serious combat. Part of Anakin knew that the serious part was probably going to put a damper on Edo's enthusiasm.

They were in the training center that had been rebuilt on Yavin 4 for all the students to use. It had five large training halls and several small personal training rooms with machines to help students develop their skills on their own. It was an impressive piece of work in Anakin's opinion.

"Yes, Master Solo," Edo said, inclining his head. Anakin could practically feel the laughter coming from the far side of the training hall.

"If you're going to laugh, you might as well not watch," Anakin said with a clearly un-amused frown at the blonde haired spectator.

"Oh, but it's hilarious that you're now 'Master Solo,'" Tahiri couldn't hold it in any longer and burst out laughing. Anakin's lip twitched. He was feeling weird enough as it was being an unofficial master, which was technically against the Jedi Council's code, and he wasn't even sure he was cut out to be a master in the first place. Tahiri's jokes on the subject weren't helping matters either.

It was hard for him to be mad at her though. There were times when he wondered how she'd managed to get him to not stay angry even in his worst moments or that a simple look would be all it would take for Anakin to just give up whatever fight he was battling.

At the moment, he was mulling over the same fight he'd been having with himself for six months and he knew from the way Tahiri was looking at him that she wasn't here to laugh at him, despite the brief about of teasing he'd received.

"Let's call it a day, Edo. Good work," Anakin said, smiling confidently at his student as the green alien ran excitedly from the room. Sometimes Anakin wondered how aliens like that aged since for the life of him, Anakin he couldn't understand how old Edo was exactly.

Tahiri walked over to where Anakin was standing, wiping the sweat off his face with his towel. He glanced up at her. "I'm still thinking about it, you know."

She grunted, "You've been thinking about it for the past six months, Anakin. Haven't come up with even the slightest amount of decisiveness?"

He force a wry smile, "You know me, stuff like this doesn't compute."

"I noticed," She said sardonically, cocking her brow at him. "Look, Anakin, we have to tell them sooner or later," She pointed out, "They might be as calm as they were with Jaina and Zekk."

"Because I'm their last child, I highly doubt that," Anakin replied with a skeptical eyebrow raised in Tahiri's direction. They stared at each other like that for a few minutes before Anakin sighed. "I actually came up with a decision but I was still wondering if it was the right one."

Tahiri watched Anakin's nervous shifting, noticing even though he tried to cover it with wiping his face with his towel. She reached over and took the towel from him and forced Anakin to look her in the eyes.

"Anakin, I don't care what you say you want to do as long it's what you really want," She placed the towel on the ground and reached out to grasp his hands. Anakin swallowed.

"I want to tell my parents first, but doesn't mean I don't want to," He averted his eyes. Tahiri gently moved his face back to look at hers.

"It's okay," Tahiri said, her green eyes carrying the same passion they had for years but now had a new level that Anakin hadn't noticed was there before. It was clearer now. Even Anakin's own blue eyes had a luminous glow to them that hadn't been there until recently.

"Is it?" Anakin questioned, "I mean you're always talking about how I feel about it, but what about you? Are you sure that you still want to move forward?"

Tahiri nodded, "I'm not going to lie to you, Anakin. I was scared of being physically close as well as emotionally. But I don't think that's anything to worry about since I know it's what I want in the end."

Anakin thought for a second and then nodded, "I feel like you just voiced exactly what was on my mind. But I guess that's because of the bond."

"It's because I understand you, Anakin, and that happened on its own without the bond," Tahiri said. Anakin looked at her for a moment and then he gave her a smile.

"Yeah, it did," He gripped her hands and then dropped on to pick up his towel. "Come on, I want to shower before I drop the bomb."

"Right next to you, Hero Boy," She said. _If I was behind him I'd smell his sweat and Anakin stinks when he's sweaty._

_I heard that, _Anakin commented mentally. Tahiri shrugged outwardly. Even if the bond didn't come in right away, it was there now. Nothing was a secret at this point, not even Anakin's smell after he worked out.

Jaina had to practically force Natie to vacate the pilot's chair after eight straight hours of flying through space. Jaina wondered what was driving Natie to go on without any rest, but her guess was the same passion that drove Jaina's proposal to Zekk that she and he get married. It had been on her mind since Zekk had come back. She wasn't sure if Zekk was going to rush things since he'd always been careful of Jaina's feelings and didn't want to make the wrong moves at the wrong times.

But when she suggested it, Zekk practically jumped at the idea. He was happier than she'd seen him in years. It took him a long time to accept that it was what Jaina wanted, and then he simply basked in the sheer enjoyment of their status. It was a month later that she and Zekk told her parents, and Peckhum, since he was Zekk's surrogate father, that they were engaged.

Leia was of course shocked and Han was positively thrown into fits of laughter. He'd been worried that Jaina would never recover from her depression over Jacen and the formerly dead Zekk but it seemed like the smiles were returning to everyone's faces. It was hard for him to say no when he saw Jaina's broad grin. It was the same one that Han had when he'd decided to propose to Leia. He was even prouder when he heard that was Jaina, not Zekk, who had made the move.

Zekk of course had readily agreed, but Jaina's natural forwardness was back. It was that very energy that was practically reverberating off of Jaina's skin; that eventually convinced Leia that she wanted Jaina to get married as soon as she wanted to.

The wedding wasn't supposed to be for another month, but Jaina wanted some time to plan most of the wedding herself, so she was willing to wait. Now that she'd volunteered to help Natie out, she knew it was going to take time away from her planning. _Oh, well_, she thought, _Mom'll probably pick up the slack, she wanted to anyways. Plus, Natie needed our help. Jedi have to put others before themselves._

Natie probably didn't understand that mentality because she was chasing after a Jedi that Uncle Luke had described as "The Master of Selflessness," Kirk Dekim wasn't one to give up on the Jedi code of old or new. He was dedicated to giving his life, if necessary, to protecting the galaxy from the worst case scenario. Kirk's dedication rivaled that of the masters of the old republic.

Even Luke and Mara were sure that Yoda would have approved of Kirk's self sacrificing attitude. Despite his recklessness, Kirk handled all missions with a level head and calm attitude that would make most people cringe because it seemed almost inhuman.

Though Natie seemed to have seen right through all of this because she was determined to find him to the point where she was on the brink of killing herself from overexertion.

"She's asleep," Zekk said as he walked into the cockpit. He saw Jaina's furrowed brow and came over to hug her from behind. "Hey, relax, we'll get out of this with Kirk alive and fit to take a beating from Natie." He grinned in hopes that Jaina would laugh. She didn't.

"I don't even know how we're going to find him," Jaina admitted. "I've never felt his presence through the force so I wouldn't know where to begin looking."

Zekk thought about it for a moment, "What about his ship, didn't she say it was a standard New Republic ship with basic weaponry?"

"That's just about every ship in this galaxy," Jaina pointed out, folding her arms across her chest as the _Lightning Rod _cruised through the stars on auto-pilot. Zekk opened his mouth and then shut it, thinking hard. "There aren't even any ships around here."

Zekk nodded and then his eyes flicked upwards as they neared something floating in the distance.

"I'm guessing that isn't it?" Zekk looked at the ship that looked like a sword had been stabbed straight through the glass and out the back and then wrenched out like someone had had a medieval sword fight with the ship, except the damage had been done by lasers. The melted metal of the hull hung by its last strings to the core but otherwise there was very little left of the original form, so one could hardly even say it was a "ship" at all.

"Well, if he's in there, we can cut this mission off right now," Zekk continued with a visible grimace. Jaina elbowed him in the stomach.

"We need to make sure that isn't the ship before she wakes up. If it is we've got bigger problems on our hands than we think." She got up and gestured to the ship's controls.

"Bring her around so I can climb on board the other ship to check its make," Jaina said and without waiting for a response she grabbed the space suit hanging from the small closet and put it on. She then slipped the helmet on and locked it before standing patiently at the ramp, hoping to the force that the ship they had just found wasn't Kirk's. Because if it was, Zekk's statement was definitely one of fact: they had serious problems of a gargantuan magnitude, including that there was someone out in the galaxy with enough firepower to fry three X-Wings with a single blast. Jaina shivered at the thought.

It was almost starting to sound like the kind of power the first Death Star had when it blew Alderaan to bits. Jaina honestly hoped that there wasn't anything close to the Death Star out there because she knew that it there were it was only a matter of time before a second empire rose. The Second Imperium wasn't even close to the threat that a unified front of enemies could pose to the current New Republic and its Jedi Order: namely the two things that were holding the galaxy together since the aftermath of the Yuuzhan Vong invasion.

Jaina gritted her teeth as the _Lightning Rod _lined itself up with the place where the ramp used to be on the other ship. Jaina took the cord she'd brought along and attached it to the small hook on the ramp of the _Lightning Rod_ and then locked the other end on a piece of metal. She gave it two tugs for good measure and then zip lined over to the other ship.

Once aboard Jaina walked to the front of the ship to the place where what as a dashboard but was now a melted circuit board. She reached into the mass of wires and pulled out the data chip that was stored on board every New Republic ship to record its production number, make, and whatever other information one needed to know about the production process. Jaina glanced over the chip and then started back out.

Natie had told Jaina what the make was, but before Jaina decided if it was in fact Kirk's ship, she wanted to get Zekk's opinion. If Zekk agreed with Jaina, there was a chance that Kirk was in fact dead or there was another possibility that Jaina didn't want to think about but was high in probability. She shook the thought from her mind and zipped back to the _Lightening Rod _before she had a chance to come up with any more morbid ideas.

"What's your verdict?" Zekk questioned as she entered the cockpit. Jaina sighed and sat down in the chair, hard. He watched her tentatively, sensing the obvious answer to his question. "Here," She pressed the data chip into Zekk's palm. "See if you can't bring up a picture of that ship. Then we can decide if it's the one Natie described."

Zekk walked over to the holo-database installed on his ship and brought it up on the screen as he searched the details and image of the ship recorded on the chip. In seconds an image of a rotating diagram of the ship appeared.

Before either of them could comment on it a slightly sullen and grimly sober voice came from behind, "That's Kirk's ship."

Anakin straightened and then slumped in front of his parents' apartment door for the umpteenth time that afternoon. He'd called them and told them that he wanted to talk to them. Tahiri had done that same for Kam and Tionne, telling them to meet at the Solo family's apartment.

Both sets of parents were in there now and Anakin only now had to go in himself. Tahiri gave him a squeeze on his shoulder. "We're in this together, okay? I'm not going to bail on you just because both sets of our parents are in there right now."

Anakin shifted uncomfortably. He wished he'd taken longer to clean up, he still looked like he'd just come back from training. "I think I'm going to be sick." He made a move to turn around but Tahiri grasped his arm in her iron grip.

"Anakin, we're doing this, so let's go," She opened the door, stepped inside and pulled Anakin in with her. As soon as the two were inside, four sets of eyes rested on them.

"We were wondering what was holding you two up," Leia said, "Kam said Tahiri left an hour ago."

Anakin felt his nervousness rise. He'd been the reason they were late because he'd spent an extra hour mentally preparing himself in front of the apartment door. He felt the warmth of Tahiri's hand as it wove its way through Anakin's fingers and held on tight. He looked up into his parents' eyes.

"Mom, dad," Anakin started, looking over at Tahiri, who nodded, sending him the indication that she'd follow up once he was done talking to his parents personally. "We have something to tell you."

Tahiri sent her confidence to Anakin and spoke clearly as though she'd rehearsed her words, though Anakin knew she hadn't, "Kam, Tionne, Anakin and I have been dating for a long time and we've thought a long time about this."

Anakin finally found his voice and the tone that came out was different from his usual one, it had the same calm to it but was filled a sense of ease and genuine joy that it projected more than it ever had before in the past, "We're getting married," Anakin simply stated and gave Tahiri the most loving smile he had ever shown in front of his parents or Tahiri's.

Leia exchanged a silent glance with Han before looking at Kam and Tionne. Both sets of eyes refocused on their two kids.

"You _are_?" Leia questioned slowly, with her own nervousness hidden behind her mask of calm, "Or want to?"

"Are," Tahiri and Anakin answered in unison. Both sets of parents exchanged glances at the same time.

"You mean you already proposed?" Han directed at Anakin. He nodded.

"While we were traveling, I asked, and well, we decided a while ago," He looked at Tahiri for her opinion on how to word their explanation.

"That we weren't going to change our minds no matter how much time passed and we're already close enough as we can be as boyfriend and girlfriend," She smiled, "We want to find out what it means to be life partners."

Leia let out a long exhale, trying to keep herself from unraveling, "You're sure about this, Anakin?" She asked, eyeing her son with some hesitation. It was clear from what Anakin could feel through the force that his mother wasn't really worried about his own heart being in it but her own unease at the thought of her last child being married.

"Yes," He answered gently, "I am. But that doesn't mean we're going to go far away because of it." He gave a shaky laugh, which was filled with some relief now that he'd spoken his heart and mind to his parents. "I think we'll need help with the wedding and… moving out."

Tahiri stared at Anakin in silent surprise. He'd mentioned that he'd thought about whether or not his decision was the right one, but she didn't think that this was what he'd meant. He wanted to move into a new home, with her: just the two of them.

So, he had really wanted to do this for a long time. No wonder he seemed so on edge whenever Tahiri had brought it up.

Han finally grinned and nodded, "Why not? What's a little more happiness in this galaxy, huh? Two families are going to be joined, another party, drinking, what's not to like?" Leia glared at him at the 'drinking' part.

"If this is what you want, Tahiri," Tionne said, "We're happy to support you in finding a new home and planning the wedding." She broke off at the end, her own voice cracking from the emotion of her daughter, even though Tahiri was adopted, moving out. It was strange in the best of ways and also marked a change in the times of the galaxy. A new generation was stepping forward as adults.

It was at that moment that both Tionne and Leia lost it and Kam and Han held on to their wives, and comforted them with small smiles. Anakin didn't waste any time in giving Tahiri a passionate kiss that she returned before they returned to the world where their parents were still dealing with the joyously traumatic news.

The doors opened and Luke walked in with Mara and Ben. "Did I hear someone crying over here?" He glanced over at his sister in concern. Luke didn't miss much.

Han laughed, "Hi, Luke, great timing. We're just having some trouble coping with our newly betrothed over there." He jerked his head at his youngest son, and now only living son, and Tahiri, who were averting their eyes in embarrassment of having kissed in front of their families.

Luke smiled in his knowing way. He had been the first of anyone to see that Anakin and Tahiri were going to together for a long time. It was a feeling he had and his feelings were usually right.

"Togetherness is always a comforting feeling," A new voice joined the group. All eyes went to the ground where the furry white form of Master Ikrit sat, flicking his bushy tail back and forth. "May the force be with you both in your newfound life," The Jedi Master inclined his head and Anakin exchanged a look with Tahiri. It had been Ikrit who had initially brought the two together to find the Golden Globe and thus set them on the journey to where they were now.

"Master Ikrit," Anakin said after he had conversed mentally with Tahiri, "We'd really like it if you could conduct our wedding ceremony."

The round eyes fixated on Anakin's in a clearly flattered expression, "I would be honored to conduct your ceremony, if Master Skywalker does not mind my doing so." Ikrit looked over at Luke who held up his hands in an amiable gesture.

"Why not? I think you should since, if I'm not mistaken, you brought these two together on their first adventure," Luke chuckled. "It's your wedding, Tahiri, Anakin, whatever you choose is what we'll do."

Tahiri spoke this time, "Master Ikrit?" She looked at the small Jedi Master. "We'd love for you to send us off once again on a crazy adventure." She threw a bemused glance at Anakin, who laughed.

"By all means," Master Ikrit replied, smiling himself. "Consider it my last gift to you two as a teacher."

Zekk froze and couldn't even manage to turn to look at Natie as she walked over to the diagram. "Is that the ship that's out there?" She questioned Jaina, whose jaw tightened.

"It is, but we don't know if it's Kirk's," Jaina said, trying to offer some form of comfort for the other woman. Natie didn't buy it.

"No, that's Kirk's ship. I know it is. He told me he was taking this ship so his other one wouldn't be damaged. _Blue Rain _was a ship used by Jedi in the Old Republic. There are so few of them around now that Kirk wanted to preserve it."

Jaina exchanged a brief glance with Zekk. They both had the same thought: Kirk was truly a Jedi through and through. He treasured all aspects of the history and of the codes. In all ways that mattered, Kirk respected what it meant to be a Jedi more than anyone Jaina had ever met before. It was easy to see why Natie was so attached to him.

Jaina worked up the best response she could, "There's another possibility."

Natie looked at Jaina with an almost dejected expectancy, "Besides Kirk being dead you mean?" Her tone was bitter and sardonic. It showed the creeping devastation that Jaina was sure she couldn't handle talking to Natie about without causing more pain.

"It could be a set up," Zekk put in. "That whoever attacked Kirk wanted us to think Kirk was killed." He paused as he looked out of the frontal viewport at the demolished ship, "And they certainly did a convincing job of it."

"Kirk's alive," Jaina said assuredly,

"The question is why would someone go to so much trouble to convince us that he wasn't?" Zekk continued as an offshoot of Jaina's thought process. "Do you have any idea what Kirk's been up to in recent months?"

Natie shook her head, "The only things I'm aware of are the things he told me, which have nothing to do with the galaxy or his missions," She paused, "The only thing I know about is the bombing in the Chiss Palace and that Kirk said something about finding Cem Fel."

Jaina's eyes narrowed, "Cem Fel?" She frowned more deeply, "Isn't that Jag's brother?"

"Jag Fel?" Natie asked, her tone changing at the mention of the name. Jaina fixated her gaze on Natie.

"You know Jag?" Jaina asked.

"I wasn't in Chiss Space for very long but I met him and talked with him a little," Natie said. "I didn't know he had any siblings."

Jaina nodded, "He does: he has two left."

"Left?" Natie questioned, becoming more and more confused by all the information by the second.

Jaina sighed. It was a sore subject with Jag and she didn't plan on giving Natie more information about Jag's past that was his to tell, than was necessary, "His older siblings died when he was young. Now he only has a younger brother and sister left. The brother is Cem Fel and the sister's name is Wynnessa Fel."

"Have you met either of them?" Natie asked. Jaina was almost beginning to feeling annoyed by all the questions, but calmed herself when she felt Zekk's calming feelings through their force bond.

"I've met Wynn in passing, but not Cem," Jaina replied. "Why?"

Natie shrugged, "If you knew anything about Cem we might be able to figure out where he is and then have a start to finding Kirk."

Jaina nodded, it was sound logic but it wasn't going to go anywhere since they didn't know anything about Cem except that he had betrayed the Chiss and disappeared over six months ago. It was a dead end. Even if they knew that Kirk was alive: it was all for nothing if they couldn't find him.

Natie's eyes flared and she stared intently out at the skeletal remains of Kirk's ship. Some of the pieces had come loose and were now floating around it. There had to be something to go on, something that could give them a clue as to where Kirk was.

Natie's hand smacked her forehead, _Why didn't I think about that before? _

"We can find him," Natie said, "I put a tracking device in his helmet."

Zekk considered it for a moment before shaking his head, "They probably left the helmet on the ship. It's probably in pieces or melted by now."

Natie shook her head and held up the small metal holo-tracker in her hand, "The signal's still working," She grinned confidently. Jaina shrugged as she looked over at Zekk. It was beginning to sound like someone either wanted Kirk to be found or it was a trap.

_I have a bad feeling about this, _Jaina thought to Zekk, who silently agreed.

Kirk moaned and blinked his eyes open. He heard the crinkling of clothes as someone stood up and moved closer to Kirk.

"So glad you could join us, Kirk," The cool and charismatic voice near Kirk said. He felt his body tense at the sound. He knew that voice anywhere.

"Miko."

**A/N- Next posting will be tomorrow! Please review and thanks for reading! =) **


	34. About Today

**Chapter 33**

**About Today**

_A/N- So I gave everyone a break from the angst with the double wedding whammy in the last chapter, so now the conflict and angst shall return with some fun fluff moments thrown in here and there. _

_This story occupies a lot of my time when I should be focusing on other things, so I hope some of that enthusiasm is rubbing off on you guys now if it hasn't already. *Gives a hopeful grin*_

_Okees! So, so far only one person has voted in my OC poll and that makes me sad because I want to know if you guys like my OCs. If you get the chance to think about it, you can make that your review. Just tell me what you think of the OCs and badda-boom-badda-bing you're done! It's easier than doing a cartwheel (which is actually kind of hard since I've never figured out how to do it). __

_Bottom line is: VOTE IN THE OC POLL ON MY PROFILE!! (And don't forget to help up the hit count before the next chapter or I won't extend the deadline)._

_Happy reading!_

_-Don =)_

* * *

Miko Reglia gave Kirk a wounded look as he glared at the other, "I'm hurt, Kirk. You don't seem all that glad to see an old friend."

Kirk's eyes flared, "The fact that you still think you're a_ friend_ is part of that problem, Reglia."

"Not on a first name basis anymore?" Mino straightened, "Very well, Dekim, to business if that's what you want."

Kirk frowned until his brow creased, "I want to know why it's you that captured me when someone else fired the blast into my ship."

Miko shifted so he was leaning forward in the chair next to the cell bars. Even though he was in the same cell as Kirk, it was clear that Miko didn't consider Kirk a threat because the dark Jedi hadn't bound Kirk's wrists or put stun cuffs on them. "It's simple, really, Dekim." Miko answered in his usual smooth tone, "I was asked to do a friend a favor."

"I take it you don't mean me," Kirk said rather than asked in a sardonic tone.

"Naturally, no," Miko replied complacently, "I doubt almost killing you would constitute as a favor to you."

Kirk's lip twitched. It seemed to be the only part of Kirk's body wasn't in pain or so badly marred that it was numb. "You're twisted as always, Reglia."

"Not unlike you, my dear covert ops Jedi," Miko's voice hissed towards the end of his calm statement.

Kirk briefly wondered if Miko was the one pulling the strings behind Xillanor's attacks and the sense of corruption Kirk could feel burning at the edges of the galaxy. It seemed like it was only a matter of time before the seeds of deceit spread into even the purest of minds. Kirk had gone after Cem Fel in hopes of nipping the corruption in the bud but now it was clear that he was in over his head.

Now Natie's words about his attempt to handle this on his own were coming back to haunt him, "_Even if you never come back because of that?"_

"Yes, Dekim, I helped Xillanor to bring you here," Mino answered, clasping his hands together between his legs. "But it was a worthwhile reward to get the chance to offer you an out."

Kirk resisted the urge to spit out the obvious response, "I take it this 'out' involved betraying the Jedi I work with?"

Miko looked surprised, "I was under the impression that you no longer felt any connection to your old Jedi comrades," He smiled serenely, "But this works just as well. I am thinking that you might come around to see things differently when I put the situation in perspective for you. Shall I elaborate?"

Kirk gave Miko a shrug which sent searing pain through Kirk's shoulders, "By all means. It's not like I can move if I don't like what you're saying."

Miko shook his head sadly, "Don't be that way, Dekim, I'm telling you this for your own good: Right now the people who shot your ship were all for killing you right then and there. I happened to be nearby and stopped them on the condition that if you agreed to the terms they set out, they would let you go without any more trouble."

Kirk's eyes narrowed in doubt, "Now why do I not believe you?"

Miko leaned back, folding his arms across his chest, "I haven't given you any reason not to. Hear me out, Dekim, if you don't believe me after I've said my piece you can do whatever you wish, free of my cell here."

Kirk frowned, "There's a catch, isn't there." He stated rather than asked. Miko smirked approvingly as well as in a bemused way. Between the two old scoundrel type Jedi, though Miko became a dark Jedi after he disappeared.

"There's always a catch, Dekim. We both know that from our covert ops experiences," Miko answered. "You just have to account for all of them."

Kirk smirked himself, in an ironic way, "That's unlikely not to mention improbable."

"Only if you think of it in terms of black and white, Dekim," Miko replied. "Come now, I'm offering you a chance to join my crew and be out of the way when the Republic is once again ruined by its own corruption," Miko fixated his gaze intently on the bars for a minute before returning his attention to Kirk, who had managed to push himself up into a full sitting position.

"There's only black and white when it comes to this galaxy," Kirk replied flatly, his eyes staring impassively at Miko. The dark Jedi shifted so he was sitting up straighter.

"So you think you're the only one who can be in between?" Miko asked, his eyes flaring with his clear distaste for Kirk's lack of fear in his current situation.

"No, I'm dark, like you. The only difference is that I try to fix the mistakes I've made," Kirk frowned at the thought. There wasn't a single thing he could actually fix without admitting that all those who had died at his hands were just numbers instead of actual people. "I'm no longer with the Order, so I don't have to abide by their rules."

Miko raised his eyebrow in interest, "Yet you still go by the title of 'Master' do you not? Or is that a self proclaimed title?"

Kirk met Miko's eyes with Kirk's own, "No, I retain the title because the galaxy doesn't want to see any more dark Jedi in its midst. So I pretend, for their sakes, that I'm not the very thing that could turn this galaxy into an empire again."

Miko nodded, "Sounds like you've done the job of condemning yourself well enough without the help of the Order."

Kirk grimaced, "If they knew what I'd done, I'd be exiled."

Miko laughed, "So you won't admit what you've done to those who shelter you? Oh, the irony that the very monster they want to keep out is already under the skin of the New Republic," He let out a cold laugh, "You're running from the inevitable, Dekim. The day I was exiled was the day I was free to be who I was from the start. I could kill anyone who defiled the Jedi name, dark or light. I am the very thing you have been becoming for ten years, Dekim. That's why I think you should try to see it this way: the ones who tried to kill you are going to overthrow the New Republic, I don't know how, but it's definitely on their agenda. They have rats lurking all over the New Republic and possibly some hooks in the Jedi Order. It's only a matter of time.

"We can stay out of it and take our leave for a while. Maybe when we return dark Jedi will have made their way to the top once more in acceptance by the Order. For now you are marked as an enemy that knows too much about their goals. Move aside now and you'll be left alone, like I am."

Kirk gritted his teeth and seethed inwardly. Miko hadn't lost any of his shameless rhetoric and lack of morality. "Maybe I'm supposed to die before I betray anyone else."

Miko sighed, "Are you really that naïve, Dekim?" Miko snapped, "Wake up: you're not bound by the Order any longer."

"I'm not so far gone that I don't know that the world my closest friends and family died to protect will deteriorate sooner rather than later if I step aside now. Even if I'm not that important, one obstacle between them and the galaxy might be better than not doing anything while they ravage it." Kirk felt his insides seize and he coughed, blood trickled from his mouth and down his chin.

Miko seemed to find great interest in this because the dark Jedi was now smiling complacently, "I didn't mention the way you would die, Dekim." Miko turned his head so he was looking down on Kirk in a very condescending way. "You will simply be left alone here until your current injuries kill you," Miko's expression turned almost pitying, "Frankly, there's not much left for me or anyone else to do. You're dying now and it's not long before we can just let life take its natural course."

Miko then leaned forward, clasping his hands together once more. "You won't get to be the thorn in the side of the enemy because you already have a thorn that's skewering you to death."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a metaphorical bastard?" Kirk asked frostily, but without bitter humor. Miko smiled smugly though there was a hint of his anger at being insulted.

"Not to my face," His eyes flared in Kirk's direction, "But there's a first time for everything."

* * *

Once alone inside the Solo Family's apartment, after everyone else had gone out, Tahiri turned to look at Anakin. "You should have told me that you wanted to move out together."

Anakin sighed, "Well, I wasn't sure if I was going to go that far until the last minute." He gave her a nervous look. "Are you really okay with it?"

"I would have told you if I wasn't," Tahiri shrugged, "I don't mind. I'm actually glad you did."

Anakin blinked, "Really?"

Tahiri raised an eyebrow at him, "Yes, Dummy, really," She smirked, "Did you actually think I'd mind living with you, Anakin?" At this point Tahiri was almost laughing at his stunned expression. "I said okay to marrying you, so the moving in is just a part of the process."

"Once again your casual attitude on this subject never ceases to amaze me," Anakin said as he sat back on the couch, rubbing his temples as the exhaustion from his conversation with both his and Tahiri's parents set in. Tahiri came over and sat on the couch next to him and pulled one of his hands into hers.

"Hey, are you okay?" She turned her head so she could peer into his eyes. Anakin swallowed and nodded slowly. "Are you sure? You seem on edge."

Anakin looked at her, his blue eyes had an almost shyness to them as he looked at Tahiri. It was a look that was full of a silent admiration and was almost boyish in its purity. For Tahiri, it was a look that seemed like Anakin was looking at Tahiri for the first time, like a whole new set of qualities opened up for him to see. "You're so beautiful." He finally managed to reply. At first Tahiri looked confused at his seemingly irrelevant response and then smiled.

"You're full of nerf steak again," She said, shaking her head, "What made you say that?"

Anakin looked at her strangely, "Because it's true."

Tahiri eyed him skeptically, "Uh, huh."

Anakin sighed. Tahiri could be stubborn when it came to Anakin verbalizing his thoughts, but he was prepared for a response like that, so he just smiled and shook his head silently. Tahiri regarded him for a moment. She wasn't sure what he was doing now because Anakin's thoughts had gone fairly ambiguous and his expression was unreadable.

She groaned, "Okay, out with it, what's going on?"

He leaned back and shrugged, "Nothing. I'm just waiting for you to realize what I said was the truth."

Tahiri sighed, "Your flattery had a poor delivery, Anakin. It was kind of hard to believe."

He stared at her curiously and then smiled, "Huh, is that right?"

She folded her arms across her chest in determination of her statement, "You better believe it, Hero Boy."

Anakin then leaned over and kissed her while she was busy giving him the 'Tahiri glare' as patented by Tahiri Veila. "Whatever you want, Mrs. Solo."

Tahiri shoved him back, "That sounded too weird." She made a face at him. "Mrs. Solo?"

He looked confused for a second then replied, "What, you want me to be Anakin Veila?"

"Still weird," Tahiri said, shaking her head, and having a hard time keeping in her laughter. He smirked and then poked Tahiri where he knew she was extremely ticklish, her ears. It was the oddest place but Anakin had known for a long time that's where she was ticklish. "Ahahhahaha!" She jerked out of the way as Anakin made to tickle her again and she pushed him off the couch. "You're too much."

"Regretting your decision?" He asked, getting up with a smirk. Tahiri shook her head.

"I never go back on my word," She said with a fierce glare his way. Anakin raised an eyebrow as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Never?"

"Never."

"Not even once?"

"Nope."

"What about when you were little?"

"Forget it, I was better back then at keeping promise than I am now," Tahiri gave him a knowing look. They both knew that she was talking about the promise she had kept to Sliven to return to Tatooine for a final test to prove that Tahiri was strong enough to truly be part of the Sand People Tribe, to be a Tusken Raider. Though she passed the test, in the end she'd chosen the life of a Jedi and to be at the Academy. She had made that decision because of one person and that person was standing right in front of her, a warm smile playing across his lips.

"What?" He asked, still smiling with that same gentle curiosity that he'd always had on his features. She shook her head, content with the current situation she was in. It seemed like for the first time she was finally going to be able to be together with the one person who mattered the most to her in the entire galaxy. As ridiculous as it sounded, even in her own mind, Tahiri knew that it was true.

"I'll accept that you think I'm beautiful if you accept what I'm about to say," Tahiri said after almost five minutes of silence.

Anakin almost thought about considering not agreeing since he didn't know what he was about to agree to do. But he knew better than to second guess Tahiri, his best friend since childhood, and now his lifelong partner. "Anything," Anakin said with an affirmative nod.

"I want you to accept that you're my life, Anakin, so I want you to share everything we go through together," She paused, gazing at him intently, "All of it."

"The fighting, the food fights, and the lightsaber sparring?" Anakin offered with a hopeful smile. Tahiri gave him a long stare before her entire brow raised.

"Anakin."

"The training of students?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Anakin." Tahiri finally put in with an almost exasperated look and then a nervous glance his way. He stared at the floor and then back at Tahiri.

"You mean, once we move in you want to….?" His jittery nerves caused him to swallow the rest of his sentence but Tahiri already knew he was on the same page.

"Yes." Tahiri said with a nod. To her surprise, instead of Anakin looking nerve wrecked like he usually did, his smile returned with an overall sense of relief coming from him that Tahiri could feel through the force.

"I do too," He said with a shy but otherwise assertive smile.

"You do?" Tahiri looked at Anakin in surprise. This was the subject that would normally have Anakin scrambling for an articulate response and to get a grip on his opinion of the matter. But now he was completely at ease because of what she'd said.

Anakin's cheeks turned a little red but he didn't avert his gaze, "Yeah," He stepped over to where Tahiri was and took her hand, "I was going to say the same thing but I wasn't sure how to bring it up."

Tahiri nodded silently, not sure what to say now that they'd cleared that hurdle. The next question was how they were going to get an apartment. But before she could voice her thoughts the door to the Solo Family's apartment opened and both Tahiri and Anakin's parents entered. But Anakin and Tahiri's eyes didn't leave one another until Han's voice broke their mutual reverie within their force bond.

"Well, we've got an early wedding gift for you two," Han said, fashioning his famous Solo grin onto his face. Leia threw him a warning look. "Sorry, Leia didn't want me to ruin the surprise until the wedding but I thought you two would like to know so you don't waste time doing it yourselves." He glanced at Kam and Tionne and Kam stepped forward and handed an envelope to Tahiri. Anakin moved over so he could look at it over Tahiri's shoulder.

Both Anakin and Tahiri's eyes widened, "This is…" Anakin began but the words left him. Tahiri looked at her foster parents in surprise. It was the receipt for an apartment in the building right next to the Solo's.

"Kam, Tionne, you bought this?" Tahiri asked. Anakin was still staring blankly at the paper.

"We all chipped in our share," Two more voices came from behind as Luke and Mara entered the apartment. "As a celebration of your engagement I'm making dinner-" He faltered when he saw Mara's look, "I mean I'm helping Mara cook dinner for everyone."

Tionne looked up at that, "Mind if I help? I've always wanted to try my hand at cooking a little more. Kam's the expert cook in our home."

Mara smiled, "The more, the merrier."

"It's too bad Jaina and Zekk aren't here to celebrate," Luke commented, "They would have liked to have congratulated you two."

"They'll be here for the wedding: so it's fine," Han put in with a confident smile. Anakin paused.

"I think there's someone else who might want to be here with our family," He said, looking a little sad as he said it. Tahiri glanced at him, and soon after understood where his thoughts were going.

* * *

Tenel Ka stepped off the shuttle and cast a look around. It had been a long time since she'd set foot in Coruscant. It wasn't surprising since she'd been so eager to leave after Jacen's death, but now it seemed to have a pleasant nostalgia about it. She continued to look around the platform, wondering if she'd gotten off at the wrong stop and that she wouldn't be able to find her way around. Hapes had always been easier to navigate for Tenel Ka after all. She gently held on to Valin's hand. The two year old was a speed demon on two legs. It was hard to get him to stop moving. But right now the boy was nervously sucking on his thumb because he didn't recognize his surroundings, having spent most of his life on Hapes. Yuuna moved so she was directly next to Tenel Ka. Yuuna held the small form of Rose Teniel Solo, now a little over six months old and squirming with her tiny fists flailing at the air, still unable to grip anything.

"Tenel Ka!"

Both Hapan women turned to see a tall young man with brown hair and a brown flight jacket thrown over his white t-shirt, It was certainly a surprise to Tenel Ka until she realized she was looking at Anakin Solo, the younger brother of the Solo twins. Anakin had certainly grown up in the two years he'd been away. Facial hair lined his chin and his shoulders were broader. He almost had the same facial structure as Jacen and wore a familiar Solo grin as he approached.

"I'm sorry for being late. Did you two wait here for a long time?" Anakin asked as he slowed down in front of the two women to catch his breath.

Tenel Ka shook her head, "No, Anakin, we have just arrived, you are not late." She then turned to Yuuna, "Yuuna, this is Anakin Solo, Anakin, this is Yuuna, she is one of the caretakers for my children and a protector."

Anakin held out his hand, "Nice to meet you, Yuuna," Yuuna grasped Anakin's hand while carefully still holding on to Rose. Anakin noticed the baby and looked at Tenel Ka for approval. She nodded and Yuuna passed Rose gently into the arms of her uncle.

"Wow, so this is my new niece," Anakin smiled as the small baby stopping squirming and began to doze off in his arms. Tenel Ka exchanged a glance with Yuuna, they both knew that Rose, like her brother, didn't go to sleep very easily, so they decided to let Anakin carry Rose. He glanced down at Valin.

"You must be Valin," Anakin smiled at the two year old who remained behind his mother. She gave Anakin an apologetic look.

"I am sorry, Anakin, he does not know you quite yet," Tenel Ka placed her free hand on her sons head. Anakin shook his head, but not too hard so as to not wake Rose.

"That's alright, you've been on Hapes for the beginning of his life so he doesn't know most of his family right now. But he will," Anakin smiled as they made their way over to Anakin's landspeeder and Anakin passed Rose to Yuuna before climbing into the driver's seat.

"We're going to my parents apartment and then we can help you adjust to your apartment we rented for you when the party is over." Anakin offered, as he started up the landspeeder.

"Thank you, Anakin, but that will not be necessary," Tenel Ka had returned to her usual formal self, which seemed odd to Anakin.

"Really, it's no problem," Anakin said, "After all, we are family." He threw her a smile before the landspeeder took off. Tenel Ka felt the strangeness of Anakin's words but something about the word 'family' seemed right. Yes, Anakin Solo was her brother in law, and he was doing what any good hearted person and loving brother would do for his sister, whether or not she was related by blood. Tenel Ka knew that Anakin was noble and that it was best to let him show his natural caring side than to push aside his kindness.

"We would like to have your help if you wish," Tenel Ka said, managing to smile genuinely. Something had remained of Jacen in his family: they still welcomed her as if Jacen had never died and as if Tenel Ka had always been a member of their family.

It was a good feeling.

* * *

"Is that it?"

"Looks that way."

"We're fucked."

"Zekk!"

Jaina and Zekk stood in the cockpit staring at what seemed to be the biggest ship they'd ever seen either in holos or with their own eyes since the high class Star Destroyers of the Empire were destroyed. The ship in front of them was long like the Star Destroyer and just as daunting with its wide range of weaponry except instead of it being a simple boring gray, the ship had a bluish gray hue along with the black coating it had at its front and back.

Natie had hardly been paying attention throughout Zekk and Jaina's argument about whether or not they really wanted to take on this ship or if they wanted to sneak inside it. Zekk, despite his enthusiasm at the beginning wanted to do neither.

"You've got to be kidding me; we can't sneak inside that thing!" He said, pointing his finger at the ship looming large, even in the distance. "That's like asking them to capture us and do who knows what to our dignity."

Jaina grunted. She briefly wondered if the void had taken some of Zekk's sense of adventure along with whatever else it took. For the moment she put aside the thought in order to grill her exact thoughts on the matter at hand into Zekk's thick skull. "Zekk, we both agreed to help Natie. And wouldn't you want someone to help you if I was stuck on that thing?"

Zekk shifted uncomfortably, "Well, you're not stupid enough to get caught."

"That's beside the point, and I don't think Kirk is all that stupid to begin with," Jaina replied shortly. "We came to rescue Kirk and that's what we're going to do if I have to drag you on board that ship."

"You two don't have to come if you don't want to," Natie cut in, stepping over to the two bickering Jedi. "I can go get Kirk myself, it's no big deal." Natie hefted her blaster and secured her armor onto her body before picking up her helmet from its place on one of the chairs.

Jaina looked at Natie with concern, "There's no way you can get him out of there on your own, you'll be killed or capture before that happens."

"My point exactly," Zekk said.

"Shut up for a minute, will you, Zekk?" Jaina said sharply. He fell quiet for a second and then spoke out again.

"Hey, I'm not trying to be rude here, but we're really pushing our luck. We could honestly be killed doing this and we're not even sure that he's on the ship still. I'm not just saying that to be difficult, okay? I know people like this, Brakiss was the type to pull strings and set things up so that people would get killed without much trouble on his part. People like that don't joke around," Zekk looked over at Jaina, "Don't get me wrong, Jay, I know how important it is to rescue someone important to you, especially when there's a chance they might die if you don't risk it. But right now we're risking all of us dying in what looks like an obvious trap."

Jaina looked over at Natie, who was silent and then back at Zekk, "I know you're not trying to be harsh, Zekk. But the fact remains that Kirk is possibly dying and we have the opportunity to save him," Jaina fixated him with a hard stare, "I know you're only trying to protect us from whatever is on that ship."

"Then I'll go first," Zekk said firmly, "I know how to infiltrate better than either of you do," He nodded at Natie's questioning expression, "I know you're a bounty hunter and that you know how to do this, but I'm going first because if Kirk is worth this effort, he probably doesn't want you to die during the rescue attempt."

A frown crossed Jaina's features as Zekk adjusted his lightsaber in his belt and pulled a blaster out of the supply closet. "Zekk, you could die too if you're not careful."

He threw her an affirmation smile, "I know, I'm not planning to screw up a mission a second time, count on it." Without another word, he pulled on his own space armor suit and put on his helmet and walked over to the ramp. "I'm going to zip line it, so get the ship close enough to where the docking bay is." He hefted a detonator to indicate how he was going to blast his way through. Jaina felt a shiver run down her spine.

She was definitely getting a bad feeling about this and the ship in the nearing distance was only the beginning of that feeling.

* * *

Miko raised his blaster so it was level with Kirk's head. "I'm guessing this is what you meant by 'putting things in perspective'?"

Miko frowned, "Hardly, I call this 'being merciful' since what will happen to you if you don't agree will be much worse than being shot in the head with a blaster and dying instantly."

Kirk coughed again and felt himself slipping from conscious, he blinked to clear the blurriness from his eyes as he replied sarcastically, "How generous of you, Reglia."

Miko almost looked concerned for a second as he countered, "You really don't get it, do you, Dekim?" The dark Jedi shook his head, "They'll kill you because you have information on their locations and on one of their leaders."

"Cem Fel is one of their leaders?" Kirk asked as his surprise then quickly turned to frustration. Now Kirk honestly wished he'd finished killing Cem Fel when he had the chance.

"A lower level one, but a leader nonetheless," Miko replied, still holding his aim on Kirk's head. "And you almost killed him."

Kirk found himself wondering exactly what the other leaders had in store for a Jedi like Kirk, who still retained his covert ops skills but was still closely connected enough to the New Order that he could be considered a viable enemy. "Dekim, I don't want to have to pull this trigger to relieve you of the pain you'd endure."

"Then let me endure it, Reglia. Force knows you and I can handle pain better than anyone else," Kirk smiled wryly. He was of course referring to the cover ops training which included torture endurance for going undercover. All the covert ops Jedi were to resist revealing any secrets to the point where they were dead by the end. Kirk was one of the Jedi who could resist it the most and Miko wasn't too far behind.

"Dekim," Miko said warningly. Kirk grunted and heaved himself to his feet, but in seconds his knees buckled and he hit the floor hard enough that his ears rang from the impact. Miko was now clearly distraught. The dark Jedi was gone from the morals of the New Order but he wasn't so far gone as to not care when an old friend and comrade was suffering.

"I don't owe those people anything, Dekim, but I have some debt to you," Miko lowered his blaster. "This ship may belong to them and they may want me to stay out of this, but I'm going to help you escape from it this once."

Kirk eyed Miko before the dark Jedi had swung Kirk's arm over Miko's shoulders and held his blaster in his one free hand. Miko then pushed the speaker button on the comlink attached to his belt.

"Go, Captain," A calm voice came from the other end.

"We need a diversion, I'm busting Dekim out of here alive," Miko ordered.

"You want to keep this ship intact?" The voice asked. Miko considered this for a second and then spoke a clear cut decision.

"No, leave as little traces as possible, we don't want to get involved with them," Miko replied. "You know what to do, Karrde."

"Don't call me that, Captain," The obviously young sounding man's voice said, "My father's Karrde, I'm just Matek."

"Fine, Matek, get the diversion set, will you?" Miko grumbled irritably. A chuckled issued from the comlink.

"You got it, Captain," Matek replied, "Matek out." Miko pressed the button on his comlink to turn the speaker off. Then he started out of the cell block and into the main hallway where he immediately opened fire on the armored troops on patrol.

That was when the alarms went off in the docking bay.


	35. Tentative Beginnings

**Chapter 34**

**Tentative Beginnings**

_A/N- I didn't get to post more than one chapter before so here's another on. Unfortunately when I finally get to posting this it might be later in the night because I didn't have internet access from where I was writing and when I got home I had my brother's birthday party. He's turning 18 _. I think mine will be scarier since I'm turning twenty. Oi vey._

_Any rate, I'm in a good mood so I decided that I'll give everyone until the time I return to college (February 19__th__) to get the hit count and review count up. At least a fifty or more hits and the reviews have to go up ten to fifteen more without all of the reviews being written by one person or the same two reviewers. It's easy to just review once for each chapter and after ten chapters it meets the requirements: in my book that's cheating. So I will in fact not send anyone (who hasn't already reviewed/given me feedback) the updates at least until the end of "Life" and maybe some of the sequel's chapters. I don't want to do that and I know that would be a pain for anyone who wants to know what happens. So just find one other person who likes NJO/SW and tell them to read AND review this story, If they do, you're one step closer to not having the suspense kill you. _

_Well, I think I've covered that enough. _

_I am excited for the coming chapters because it marks the story's vital changes in preparation for its sequels. _

_Thank you all for reading and I hope you have a great rest of the weekend!_

_-Don =)_

* * *

Miko's eyes flicked around to the sound of blaring alarms and the thumping of feet as all the soldiers rushed towards the docking bay. He could feel the source. Someone had broken in, but it wasn't Matek and the rest of Miko's crew fromthe _Asteroid Harbinger. _Matek was quick at getting diversions but he wasn't that fast. Someone else was aboard the Star Destroyer-esc ship _Cordac _and they had no intention of keeping quiet about it.

_Well, this actually works to my advantage, _Miko thought to himself and blasted the last patroller into an unconscious or fatal state. He didn't wait to find out which because he was already fast walking down the hallway. In all honesty, Miko knew that even though he'd planned to get Kirk out and stay clear of Cem Fel and whoever else was with the young Chiss, it was an idealistic result. In truth, the chances of escaping without some link as to where Miko or Kirk was, were well below slim.

Miko raised his head as something slammed into the _Cordac, _rocking it from the outside all the way to its core. This time, he knew it was Matek, back with his diversion.

* * *

Zekk had no sooner set foot in the docking bay, with the gaping hole in the docking bay door, and he was bombarded by blaster fire. His quick reflexes in drawing his lightsaber were the only thing that saved him from becoming a human pincushion of blaster wounds. Zekk then rolled to the side, deflecting another blast and drew his own blaster to return the fire. He'd have to get closer in order to use his lightsaber, and Zekk didn't want to use his lightsaber if he didn't have to. It had become a dangerous outlet to the feelings of fear, anxiety, and hate that were still leftover from his experiences at the Shadow Academy. Zekk fired off another two rounds, taking out two soldiers in turn. He could only hope that Jaina would know exactly how to time her entry.

It was Zekk's job initially to get inside, find Kirk and bring him close enough to the docking bay for Jaina and Natie to pick him up. Zekk knew that he'd have to get Kirk right up next to the entrance so that Jaina and Natie weren't at risk. Zekk was once again prepared to put his life on the line to see that all three got out. He sighed a little, knowing that if Jaina had overheard his thoughts, she'd be beyond mad that he'd even considered the possibility of another sacrifice.

Though he knew that if she had in fact overheard him, he would know because of their bond: something at times he didn't thank the force that he had.

"Kriff it, why the hell won't you guys leave?" Zekk growled through his teeth. He picked up another detonator from his belt and threw it into the mass of troops gathering to intercept Zekk's single handed attack. Clearly they didn't underestimate the power of a single Jedi. As the explosion sent twenty soldiers flying Zekk gave a wry smile. _Wait until they meet Jaina, then they'll wish they'd kept fighting me instead._

As if on cue there were two loud crashes and the damage alarms went off in both the docking bay and all of the ship as the _Lightning Rod _smashed through what was left of the docking bay door. He groaned. She just _had_ to go and be dramatic about her entrance. Not that Zekk was expecting any less of the daughter of Han Solo.

He then rolled once more and blasted his way to the remaining garrison of soldiers until he was close enough to use his lightsaber to cut down the remaining soldiers. More were on the way, but at least now Zekk could go find Kirk before things got too out of hand. There was always the chance, however, that it already was.

Jaina ignited her lightsaber and turned to her partner in crime, "Ready, Natie?"

The bounty hunter grinned, "Lead the way, Jaina, I'll be right behind you."

The two women then rushed out of the ramp of the _Lightning Rod _and immediately began blasting and slicing any soldiers that tried to get between them and the doors leading to the main hallways of the _Cordac. _Both stepped there because it was the point where Zekk was going to meet them when he got Kirk.

Jaina could only hope that Zekk could do it without getting himself killed in the process. Like Anakin, Zekk tended to take more risks than was absolutely necessary. She grunted and deflected a laser that was bound for Natie's helmeted head.

"Thanks, Jaina," The filtered voice said. Jaina nodded.

"Any time," She then proceeded to slash and blaster alternatively, but the soldiers never seemed to end. It was seemingly all too uncoordinated for true soldiers and not only that, these soldiers were being thrown into battle as though there wasn't a limit to them.

Jaina frowned. That kind of attitude could only mean one thing and she didn't want to consider that it was even possible. She then started a little when Zekk's voice broke into her thoughts.

_Jay, we've got a problem._

* * *

"Don't move, Reglia," Miko felt the cold metal on his neck and slowly lowered Kirk to the ground to put his hands up, though feeling out for the force to get ready to draw his lightsaber when the opportunity presented itself.

"I'd never have put you down for someone who goes back on his word," The crisp voice said in Miko's ear as the nozzle of the blaster pressed harder against his neck.

"I haven't, I decided that Kirk's coming with me," Miko replied curtly, keeping his senses aware of his opponent's every movement. The rustling of clothing alerted Miko that someone else was there besides the person with the gun.

"Cem Fel," The other said coldly. "Looks like someone didn't take his trip to the void seriously."

"I did, which is why I'm not taking any more chances with him," Cem landed a kick in Kirk's unprotected chest and both Miko and the other winced as the sharp cracking of bone as it connected with Cem's boot touched their ears. Without any warning Miko took his chance and called his lightsaber into his hand and palmed it to life. The light hissed but was met by a glowing blue blade.

"I'm sorely disappointed, Reglia, it seems we have our differences after all," The cool filtered voice came from behind. Miko turned to lock his blade with the blue of his newfound enemy. Even with the Mandalorian style armor, it was clear from Miko's feeling through the force that this bounty hunter was force sensitive and strongly so.

"Your orders, Xillanor?" Cem questioned.

"I have my priority to eliminate, you have yours," Xillanor replied simply. Cem smiled in satisfaction and his voice as he replied held a sense of respect.

"Yes, Sir."

* * *

Anakin found himself very impressed with the apartment his and Tahiri's parents had bought. It was a simple enough apartment, with a standard kitchen, a bedroom and a fair sized living room. The couch was also comfortable, which Anakin thought was a plus since he often preferred crashing on couches to beds when he wanted to sleep during the day. Though in recent years Anakin hadn't had much time to just sit or lie down on a couch and relax. Now with their wedding coming up, he found that there was only time in their lives.

Tahiri lightly touched Anakin's shoulder as she came to stand next to him. "I think they made a good choice."

He nodded, "It's a got a great view of the city and it's comfortable too," He cast a glance around the living room where they stood and then felt Tahiri's hand slide into his.

"It's a lot to take in, huh?" Tahiri looked over at him.

"Yeah, it's hard to believe that we'll be living here just the two of us," Anakin's blue eyes went to the kitchen and briefly lingered on the bedroom before returning to Tahiri.

"Are you okay with this?" She questioned, though she felt Anakin's response long before he voiced it. The feeling she could sense from him was the same one she had been feeling since he made the suggestion to move in together: they were going to be even closer than they ever were before.

With the wedding set in two weeks, Anakin could feel his nerves getting the better of him sometimes. There were times when he'd pace whatever room he was in for no apparent reason and pause only to glance at whoever he was talking to, if he was. Other times he was alone when he paced and Tahiri could feel his anxiety reverberating off him like a storm pounding rain on the heads of those below it.

"We're going to be okay," Anakin said finally, "I'm adjusting to the idea of us being alone together, but I know that it's where I want to be."

Tahiri smiled at him, "Good, then you can help me unpack." She gestured to the bags she'd brought over from Kam and Tionne's apartment. Anakin was amazed that there were so few bags, but then again Tahiri wasn't a materialistic person to begin with. He then stooped over and picked up her three bags, all three in the hand not holding Tahiri's, and walked into the bedroom and placed them on the ground. He started to bend over to unzip them but Tahiri held fast to his upper arm.

"Didn't you say you wanted to unpack?" He asked, giving her a confused look. She nodded wordlessly. Anakin gently pried himself from her grip so that he could place his hands on her shoulders. "Whatever you want to say, Tahiri, you should just say it, okay?" He touched her cheek and then kissed it. He waited for a few minutes and when she didn't respond he gave her a concerned frown. "Tahiri?"

Her emerald green eyes, which were filled with a sense of resolve, met his blue before she spoke, "I'm ready."

* * *

Xillanor raised his blue blade in challenge to Miko, who glanced back at the other person, a dark haired young man Miko didn't recognize but could feel he could trust, "You," Miko said, directing his voice with the force so the stranger would know that Miko was talking to the other.

"Yeah?" The stranger asked, almost in a confused way.

"Take Kirk and go," Miko jerked his head at Kirk, who was now slipping in and out of consciousness to the point where he couldn't tell where he was and what was going on around him. "I know you're here to get Kirk, so I'm letting you help him this once, so go."

The other slipped Kirk's arm over the stranger's shoulders and he continued to give Miko an inquiring look. "Thank you." The stranger said and with a parting blast from his blaster at Cem, who winced as the sudden blast grazed his arm, and then the stranger was gone.

"May the force be with you," Miko murmured before returning his attention to his two opponents who had recovered from their initial surprise.

"He just had to shoot my only biological arm," Cem said with a bitter smile as the skin of his prosthetic arm showed. The shade of the skin was different from a natural hue so Miko could tell that it wasn't real.

"Your actions just lost me my chance to kill the man who cut off my arm," Cem said as he raised his blaster to level with Miko's head. The dark Jedi regarded Cem with patient but still flaring eyes.

"I'd just deflect your blasts, Fel," Miko pointed out, "You can't fight a lightsaber with a blaster." The ship rocked once more as a blast hit it from the outside. More alarms went off but Cem's attention remained solely on Miko, who hadn't moved since the stranger departed. A few minutes of bated silence followed as the ship shook once more. Miko felt Matek's presence nearby, probably bombarding the ship. Miko only needed to get away himself now. But he knew the minute he turned his back, Xillanor and Cem would kill Miko.

Before Miko could twitch something flashed past his arm and knocked Xillanor backwards. Miko turned to see the stranger standing there, a lightsaber grasped in his hands. The stranger's green eyes flared.

"What happened to Kirk?" Miko questioned. The stranger turned to Miko with a confident smile.

"He's in good hands, I'm just giving them time to get ready to go," The stranger nodded to Miko, who felt the plan forming from the brief image the stranger sent through the force. Miko threw himself at Xillanor while the stranger went at Cem with heavy blows with his lightsaber. The stranger then leapt backwards and Miko took the chance to roll back as the stranger picked up a detonator and threw it before disappearing down the hallway as smoke filled it. Miko ran himself, and noticed that the stranger had indeed told the truth. Two people, one who was completely armored so Miko couldn't tell who it was, and the other was a young woman with brown hair that Miko took a minute to identify as Jaina Solo_. If that was Jaina Solo, _he thought, _Then who were the other two people?_

The green eyed man gave Miko a nod, which Miko returned. Jaina Solo turned to the dark haired man with a questioning look. "He helped me to rescue Kirk." The man said.

Jaina's eyes went to Miko, "You helped Zekk, I'm not going to forget that, count on it." She stated before helping the armored figure carry Kirk onto their ship. The ramp closed and the ship tore out into space through the hole in the _Cordac_'s docking bay. Miko then turned and went into his own ride where Matek was waiting and took off.

Jaina quickly took the controls with Zekk's help while Natie examined Kirk's wounds. She pushed back all of her fears in order to attempt to stem some of the blood flow that had erupted when Zekk had run into the docking bay, unaware of the reinforcements behind him. Kirk had taken a few hits in non-vital areas and Zekk's arm bled from a gash but was otherwise unharmed. Natie used the bandages in the first aid kit to bind Kirk's blast wounds and then felt something lightly grasp her wrist in the middle of her work.

Kirk's eyes fixated her for second as a rare smile crept across his lips, he never thought he'd feel so glad to be alive but something made him happy that he made it out of his captivity in more or less, one piece, "Thank you," He said with a small squeeze on Natie's wrist before his eyes closed and Kirk passed out.

Natie sighed as the whole result of their rescue set in: Kirk was still among the living and he had finally said something direct to Natie. It wasn't much in the way of large changes but it was a start, and Natie could work with that.

* * *

Han woke with a start, he groggily picked up the phone and muttered drearily, "He…." His yawn interrupted, "…llo?"

"Mr. Solo?" The officious voice question.

Han rubbed his face and then absently scratched his ear, "That's me."

"We have some bad news," The voice said. Han's oblivious state soon became sharp.

"What's going on?" Han asked curtly. The voice seemed taken aback because there was a slightly pause before the response came.

"Well, Sir, the prisoner known as Merlin Genrick, has escaped," The official paused, "Or rather he was broken out."

Han's brow furrowed, "Broken out?" He chewed on his lip for a moment, "Why would someone want to break him out?"

The official sounded disappointed, "We were hoping you would have some idea, Mr. Solo. Do you know of anyone that would have wanted Genrick to be freed?"

Han thought about it and then found himself shaking his head despite the fact that the official couldn't see Han doing so. "No, but I'll give you guys a hand in finding out. Give me a few hours and I'll be there."

"That's really not necessary, Sir," The official protested but Han wasn't listening.

"I'll be there, stay on your toes," Han then hung up as Leia stirred, turning her head to face him. She blinked as Han started to pull on pants and change out of his nightwear.

"Han? What are you doing?" Leia said, barely able to keep her eyes open, "It's three in the morning."

He smiled at her and kissed her on the cheek. "I know, Princess, but I have to go take care of something. Hold up the wedding fort for me, will you?"

Leia smiled wearily, "Alright. When will you be back?"

Han shook his head, "I don't know. This might take a while to figure out."

Leia sighed and then relented, knowing full well that once Han was determined to accomplish a task, he didn't back down on it. "May the force be with you."

"You too, Sweetheart," Han replied and kissed Leia again before heading out the door of their bedroom and then the apartment to the docking bay where the _Millennium Falcon _waited.

* * *

Anakin let himself sink into his pillow, the slow rise and fall of his bare chest didn't seem to bother Tahiri as she slept with her head resting on it. Anakin's arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her close to him as he lay staring up at the ceiling.

It had come as a surprise to Anakin that Tahiri had been so assertive about what she wanted, and that she was willing to share more than just thoughts with Anakin last night. Neither of them knew what was going to happen nor did they have anything to go on except their clear cut feelings and strong emotional bond with one another.

He had never found himself filled with so many mixed emotions at one time: fear, a tender passion, nervousness, trust, and an overall sense of want to give away his entire being to show his love to the woman he loved the most, as corny as the thought sounded in his own head. Anakin wondered what would happen after the wedding. He had a feeling that it would come with a better understanding of their closeness and a sense of comfort that they didn't quite have before, but would now have in the years to come or at least, that was what the force was allowing Anakin to sense at least.

He let his eyes slowly close as the soft feel of Tahiri's hand in his calmed him until he drifted off completely. It was going to be okay.

* * *

Jaina stood up the moment Zekk walked into the waiting room of the med-center. She crossed to him and he gave her a confident smile.

"It wasn't anything a bacta treatment couldn't handle," He then felt surprise as Jaina hugged him tightly. Zekk thought for a moment about saying something but then decided against it and instead wrapped his arms around her, one around her back and the other gently wrapped around her shoulders, the hand touching her hair.

Finally after remaining there for about six minutes, Zekk brushed Jaina's bangs from her face, "Come on, let's go, your mom wants us to plan our own wedding."

Jaina smiled as she raised her eyebrow, "What'd you do?"

He grinned as they started out of the med-center to the landspeeder parked outside. "Why do you think _I _did something?"

Jaina gave him a knowing look, "My mother wouldn't back off planning a wedding even if the galaxy was ending."

Zekk looked impressed, "That's quite the statement, would she really?"

Jaina grunted and lightly punched Zekk in the arm as she got into the driver's seat. "That's not the point, Zekk, and you know it."

He grinned broadly and laughed, "But it's worth it to see your reaction."

"Keep that up and you're walking home, Buster," She said, giving him a sardonic smile, her eyes glistening with the same fire that Zekk had learned not to challenge.

"Okay, so I asked her if we could do most of it ourselves, and she told me that we could just it alone if that's what we really wanted," He looked a little abashed, "Did I insult her?"

Jaina laughed as she steered the landspeeder down the streets. "No, she's just sulking because she really wanted to do the whole thing herself."

Zekk looked somewhat relieved but his initial misgivings were still apparent on his face, "Should I tell her she can plan it?"

"Not if you actually want to plan it with me," Jaina replied shortly, "Zekk, if you wanted to plan the wedding with me, you should have said something and I'd have talked to my mom."

"Well, since I'm going to be her son in law, I figured I might try to do some of the talking myself," Zekk said, his green eyes averting as he said the words.

"You're still nervous even after six months?" Jaina questioned incredulously. "I'm having a hard time believing you actually want to go through with this if you're that jittery."

"Who wouldn't be when they're marrying one of the galaxy's most well known children?" Zekk sighed, "Jay, you have no idea how intimidating it is to be around you."

Jaina raised her brow again, "I'm intimidating?" She sounded slightly amused but her tone was wry.

"I didn't mean it like that," Zekk said, holding up his hands to indicate his surrender to Jaina's glance in his direction.

"Then what did you mean?" Jaina questioned.

"You're well accomplished, an upstanding Jedi, you've got your future in your hands, you're confident and just plain incredible compared to the people around you. Nothing you do has anything regrettable about it, and you have the courage to do things most people would falter and fade from." Zekk shook his head, "You don't realize what it's like to even stand next to you."

Jaina regarded Zekk with concern, "I don't think you're being realistic, Zekk. Everyone saw you in the holo-news after you died and there were people who said they would have wanted to meet you if you hadn't died," She turned the corner and they were now at the apartment building where the Solo Family was. "I'm not even sure where you're getting this from, Zekk. Because I find it hard to stand next to someone who's strong enough to come back from a place like the void and still be able to laugh like nothing happened. Most people would call that 'superhuman.'"

Zekk turned red. "I'm not sure about that."

Jaina fixated him with a hard stare, "Well, I am. So you can either take it or walk away."

Zekk frowned with a sense of humor that he'd learned to just accept with Jaina since she was always very firm about her decisions. But behind her eyes and within the confines of her mind, that only few people, including Zekk, had access to, was a timid fear of being left behind or alone. "I'm not going anywhere, Solo, so you're stuck with me," He gave her a cocky smirk and then hopped out of the landspeeder. Jaina slowly began to smile warmly.

"I think I can live with that," She then jumped out and followed Zekk inside, their hands grasping one another as they fell in step.

* * *

A week later found Natie in her apartment, packing away her belongings. She'd had enough of the high life on Coruscant, it was far too quiet at points for her taste. There was no mistake that she greatly enjoyed the company she'd found in the Solos and the Skywalkers, and even in Jaina's fiancé, Zekk, but it wasn't enough to keep her away from the life of a bounty hunter, the only life she really knew and felt at ease with.

"May I come in?" An almost timidly soft voice asked. Natie turned to face the brownish blonde haired man standing in the doorway of her apartment.

"If you want," She answered neutrally before returning her attention to her packing.

Kirk took a tentative step onto the carpet just beyond the doorway, making sure not to lean too hard on his now fully recovered legs. The feel of the soft kaki and the plain black collared shirt felt different from what he usually wore but his entire body felt somewhat unstable in a refreshed way, like someone had it the restart button on all his systems. The only remains of his prior injuries were the bandages under his shirt and the one that remained on his forehead. Bacta had done its work and all that was left was for Kirk to return to retraining his body to health.

"I don't know if you heard me back there on the ship," Kirk began slowly, "But I wanted to thank you for coming to get me."

Natie nodded stiffly, "I did, and you're welcome." She almost surprised herself by how impassive she was being towards Kirk right now. His shoes made the sound of rustling grass as they moved him over to where Natie was standing over her suitcase on the couch.

"I wasn't finished," Kirk said, his voice retaining its usual briskness, "There was something I needed to do that I hadn't already, so I'm grateful that you didn't let me throw that away."

Natie looked at him with the same distance he'd been showing her for the past months they'd known each other, "So I prevented you from dying before you could kill whoever it was you were after?" She nodded, "I'm happy I could do the Jedi a service."

Kirk looked almost amused for a minute but Natie passed it off as a trick of the light, "I meant something else, Natie."

She watched as the look in Kirk's eyes changed from its usual lack of interest and cold firmness to a youthful spirit that had seemed to have evaporated over the years. "What did you mean, then?" Natie asked, still frowning.

"Give two people a chance at being something other than what they are," Kirk answered, giving Natie a serious look now, "If you'll accept the scars that come with it."

Natie paused for a moment, not quite processing what Kirk was saying until she noticed that he wasn't trying to push her away or say that he couldn't let her any closer. He was asking _her _to give _him _a chance. He wanted to try.

"I'm not a whole person, Natie," Kirk continued, "I've been out of the galaxy for the better of the last decade and I've done things that I'd rather not relive, but I'll let you be the judge of whether or not I'm worth forgiving all that for."

Natie's eyes went a little wider and then returned to their usual sharp but friendly appearance, "Why don't you try forgiving yourself first?"

Kirk smiled his first warm smile in ten years, "I didn't try, I only realized just now that I already did." He waited as Natie looked at him curiously.

"When did you forgive yourself?" Natie's eyes scanned Kirk for answers but as usual his body language with completely unrevealing.

He put his hands in his pockets and looked at the carpet for a moment before returning his gaze to Natie. "I knew a long time ago that Nina's death wasn't my fault and that it was only the moving on that I couldn't accept." Kirk sighed, "The rest I know was part of my hurt, and I do regret killing those that I did, but all I can do now is accept that I'm now living a different life than I was then. I'm not going to let anything like that happen again."

"That's your way of forgiving yourself?" Natie asked, folding her arms across her chest. "It sounds like you still blame yourself."

Kirk looked sheepish, "I'm doing it one step at a time," He then gave Natie a nod. "I'll let you pack then." He then turned on his heel and began to walk out when Natie's voice stopped him in the doorway.

"If you were the first person you had to give a second chance to, who was the second?" Natie asked. Kirk turned his head to look at her with quiet admiration in his eyes.

"An old friend," Kirk replied, "You were the reason he got that chance." He smiled, "You're something else, Natie." Disappointment lit his face when she didn't respond and he began walking again.

"Kirk."

He did an about face and found that Natie was right behind him. "Natie?"

"I want you to give yourself a chance at loving again, if not for you, for Nina," Natie stated, "I think she would have wanted you to be happy again."

Kirk looked at Natie with a cross between amusement and natural curiosity, "And whom did you have in mind for that?" He was now closer to Natie than he'd ever been before. Natie's words caught in her throat.

"It's okay, I already knew how you felt," Kirk said with a gentle smile, "I'm not doing any more missions, not for a while." Natie's pain from all the events, her brothers' deaths, the six months of solitude, and the sense of loss to her previously directional life came out in the tears as she threw herself onto Kirk's chest. He wrapped his arms around her shoulder and placed his hand on the back of her head as he leaned his chin gently over the front.

"Kirk?" Natie said with a low sniff.

"Yes?" He looked down at her, a calm, almost natural care in his eyes.

"I think I love you," She then hiccupped and he couldn't help but laugh as he kissed the top of her head.

"I know I do," Kirk replied with sense of confidence in his tone. Natie slowly pulled away and went to her bag.

"Then help me unpack this," She said, and it didn't take long for Kirk to make his way over, take the bag and then dump its contents on the floor. Natie's eyes widened a little and then narrowed as she scowled at him.

"That wasn't what I meant," Natie said but at the small grin that had formed on Kirk's mouth, she couldn't keep scowling for long. It was about time she had a little less organization in her life.

"Fine, keep it there," She assented and soon found herself grinning broadly.

**A/N- Fin this chappie. I hope you liked it (hint-hint-nod-nod towards the green button). **


	36. What's Closest to the Heart

**Chapter 35**

**What's Closest to the Heart **

_A/N- Well, weekend's over, Everyone, time to get back to work (school or job or both, depending). _

_I'm pleased to see that the numbers for the hit count are going up (albeit only a few hits at a time) but it's passable so I won't comment on that other than to say, keep up the good work and if you know anyone who likes YJK, NJO, LOTF, or anything like that, send them along to read this series. Thanks!_

_As you guys might have noticed, I've thrown in a lot more romance and as my awesome unofficial beta delicately put it "Kirk has finally gotten his head out of his butt." The romance is meant to balance out the conflict that is rising and the topsy -turvy twist this story is going to have (if all goes well with my writing)- I make revision as I go along so it's helpful to hear from you guys while I'm still working on the story. _

_A special thanks to Timothy Zahn for being himself and for inventing all the awesome characters I am currently using. I own nothing: credit goes to all the authors and to Lucas LTD. I just finished reading "Last Command" and I highly recommend it to anyone who hasn't read the Thrawn Trilogy. _

_This chapter is dedicated to my younger brother and my cousin, both of whom had birthdays this week. I love you two!!_

_This chapter is shorter than the others, but I'll make up for it later. _

_As always, a pleasure writing for you all,_

_-Don "QuixoticQuest" =)_

* * *

Tahiri sat up, rubbing her forehead and then her eyes as the rays of sunlight slipped in through the small slivers between the curtains illuminating the brown of Anakin's hair. She turned to look at him as he slept peacefully on his stomach. One of his arms was stretched out in her direction and had dropped when she sat up. The other remained tucked under his pillow and occasionally twitched as he slumbered on. Tahiri quietly slipped out of bed, not wanting to wake him.

She went to the kitchen and began to make coffee when a knock on the door turned her attention around. Not surprisingly, Anakin didn't even stir at the sound: he could sleep through anything, except, of course, meals and lightsaber training. Tahiri went to the door and opened it to find James and Wynn standing there.

"Hi, Tahiri," Wynn said with a bright smile, "Sorry to come at such an early hour. Is this a bad time?"

Tahiri shook her head, "Not at all, I was just about to make some caf, do you want some?"

Wynn nodded and looked over at James, who seemed strangely quiet, even for his demeanor. Tahiri seemed to notice the concern in Wynn's eyes because she waved her two friends inside and closed the door behind them.

"Have a seat on the couch, I'll bring the caf," Tahiri said. She stopped, "Do you want some, James?"

Gray eyes lifted focused on Tahiri but James didn't respond, he simply nodded and continued to look downcast. Tahiri's own concern built at the expression on James' face. She had known James for a little longer than Wynn, so naturally Tahiri knew something about James' mood swings but this was completely new. James had never been this depressed and Tahiri could feel his depression clearly through the force.

Apparently so did Anakin because he walked into the living room, rubbing his neck and looking groggily over at James and Wynn. "Morning…" Anakin mumbled and then slow walked over to where Tahiri was.

He gave her a questioning look to which she shrugged. _I don't know any more about this than you do. They just walked in._

_James has enough stress to wake up anyone. Any idea what's going on?_

_I don't know, Anakin. They seem okay, health wise, but something's off with James, Wynn seems normal._

Anakin looked over at James and Wynn and then returned his attention to Tahiri. _You've known James longer than any of us, are you sure nothing comes to mind?_

Tahiri poured the coffee and racked her brains for anything that might help them to unravel the mystery before Wynn and James said anything, but nothing came to mind. _I can't think of anything. _

Anakin gave Tahiri a comforting smile, _don't worry about it, I'm sure whatever it is, we can help them figure it out._

_I hope you're right, _Tahiri said, her tone voicing her clear doubt in Anakin's words. He squeezed her shoulder and then took two of the cups over to James and Wynn while Tahiri grabbed the remaining two and walked over herself.

Anakin eyed James as Anakin sat down on the chair he'd brought in from the kitchen. "So, mind telling us what you woke us up for?" Tahiri elbowed him as she sat down in the chair she'd brought over.

"What Anakin means," She glared at him, "Is whatever you guys have to say we'll help you."

James exchanged a look with Wynn, who nodded before James spoke for the first time since he entered Anakin and Tahiri's apartment. "It's not so much of a definite problem as a possible problem."

Anakin's brow furrowed at James' wording, "Possible problem?" He continued to frown until he thought about the words for a moment, "What do you mean?"

Wynn spoke up this time, "It's something James noticed when we were going through the records of his, well, cloning history." She gave James an apologetic look to which he shook his head in dismissal. He'd obviously put that behind him because he didn't comment further on the mention of his clone status.

"I believe your father was looking through some records, Anakin," James said, his voice was the sternest Anakin had heard in a while, and so apparently for both Wynn and Tahiri because they sat up straighter, their eyes firmly fixated on James as he continued. "Merlin Genrick: does that name ring any bells for you?"

Anakin shook his head, "No, should it?"

James didn't answer right away but began to furrow his own brow as he cupped his chin in one of his hands. His lip twitched slightly before he found the words to answer with. "There's a possibility that your father is trying to track down the very man that was the clone master for the army of clones that Grand Admiral Thrawn created."

"Thrawn?" Wynn repeated. She had obviously not heard this part of the story because her normally upbeat and positive tone became dark. "Are you saying that something is going on with this clone master?"

James smiled grimly, "There has to be, because if the records are correct, Genrick was just broken out of prison recently."

Anakin exchanged a quick glance with Tahiri while Wynn's eyes hardened, "Thrawn was one of the coldest and calculating Chiss the galaxy had ever seen. He was the only non-human that the Emperor saw fit to serve as a Grand Admiral. It's precarious to take the man Thrawn deemed worthy to clone and use him as a clone master again."

"Is that what's going on?" Tahiri asked, "Someone is trying to create another clone army?"

James looked firmly at her, "Why not? They've already got people like me who're clones of soldiers from the Old Republic era." Silence fell among the four friends as they all considered what this could mean. Anakin was the first to break out of his reverie.

"There's no time to worry about what it means, we've got to tell everyone what we already know. If my hunch is correct, I think this is linked to all the attacks orchestrated by Xillanor." Anakin's eyes went icy as he said the name of the murderous bounty hunter. Tahiri's green eyes went wide with concern as she felt Anakin's pain over Jacen's death rise again. Xillanor's name was a trigger for the feelings of bitter resentment that Anakin harbored and carried with him all the time now.

So naturally it worried Tahiri that Anakin's almost hateful bitterness towards Xillanor bordered on obsession. She wondered what exactly he was thinking but feared trying to open their bond right now when he was completely focused on something else. He would most likely tell Tahiri when the time was right, but Tahiri knew that it was time she talked to someone about his increasing interest in Xillanor.

Anakin apparently wasn't paying attention because he didn't even turn when she continued to gaze sidelong at him with her misgivings reverberating through her entire body. James, on the other hand, had. He caught Tahiri's eyes with his gray, indicating immediately that he wanted to talk to her about whatever was on her mind in private. Wynn would probably want to know too, since she hardly ever liked to be left out of any discussions. However, it would be tough to convince Anakin that something wasn't going on if the three of them met and Anakin wasn't there.

Tahiri nodded in James' direction and sent him a brief mental message, _later, in another place. Anakin will get suspicious if we stay here to talk._

_I don't like going behind his back,_ James replied. She flicked her eyes over to Anakin to indicate how out of it he was. Anakin was standing up and staring intently at the floor, his hands curling and uncurling themselves.

_I don't either, but we need to talk about this. Any ideas?_

_One, _James said cautiously, _but it's a stretch._

_I'll take whatever you have. _Tahiri broke their connection and then gently pulled Anakin back into his seat. "We don't know if it's Xillanor, Anakin. This is only something James just found out."

Anakin bristled, "What if it is? Are you willing to just wait until something bad happens to someone else? Kirk was almost killed by Xillanor, Jacen's dead, and now there's a chance that Xillanor's got a cloning master at his hands. I'm not sure I want to find out what he's planning to do with that."

This time it was Wynn who cut in, "We're not saying we won't do anything, Anakin, we're only saying it's best to tread be carefully now that we know what we do. Xillanor seems to know who's got information on him. He could kill us if we misstep."

"Wynn's right, Anakin," James put in firmly, "We understand that we need to act quickly but right now isn't the time for brash actions."

Anakin's mouth twitched as he turned his head away as though he'd been punched, "I'm going for a walk." He then walked to the door, opened it and slammed it in one swift movement. Tahiri looked over at James, who took a moment before he nodded solemnly. They had to talk to someone and fast.

Tenel Ka found herself slowly beginning to enjoy the simplicities of living in an apartment: even if it wasn't one she had entirely to herself. The Solo Family's apartment was one large space that was constantly filled with people who loved one another unconditionally and despite the initial misgivings she might have had about staying there, Tenel Ka conceded. She had sold the apartment she'd shared with Jacen to erase the memories but found it comforting that she could sleep in his room.

Tenel Ka could feel the clear tension when she requested it, but eventually Han and Leia caved in. It had to with Jaina's attempted suicide, Tenel Ka gathered, though no one actually said it out loud, she knew. Tenel Ka wouldn't give up the life Jacen had died to protect and not only that, there were now two small children who needed Tenel Ka to be there as a mother.

Leia lent Tenel Ka the crib that was leftover from when the twins were small to Tenel Ka for Rose and a small bed with sides for Valin, who was slowly outgrowing the crib setting. He was a lively child, and clearly channeled the heart and spirit of his father in Valin's growing interest in the animals and other living things around him.

Tenel Ka looked over at Valin as he knelt down on the side of the pathway of the park they were walking through, and watched as the small boy tenderly picked up a small animal from the bushes and cradled it to his chest. She then turned to look at Rose, who slumbered peacefully in Tenel Ka's arms. The girl wasn't a wailing type like her brother but instead she took to silent stares around her to take in the world around her. Rose was clearly her mother's daughter, Tenel Ka could feel the intense calm coming from Rose and as time went on, Tenel Ka could only guess that it would increase. Despite this, what Tenel Ka could already see of Rose's eyes, she looked more like Jacen.

"Excuse me, Your Majesty," Yuuna said, "Are you sure it's okay to be so far out in the open?"

Tenel Ka nodded confidently, feeling out with the force, there weren't all that many people or aliens in the park, and those that were, didn't pay too much mind to Tenel Ka or to her companions. Especially since Tenel Ka had one of the best body guards one could have.

"What's that you've found, Valin?" Over the calm of the park came the tender voice of the brown robed man crouching down next to Valin. For some reason Tenel Ka didn't mind Anakin calling Valin by his name. It was something about Anakin that caused both calm and serenity to fall over Tenel Ka, which rarely happened these days.

"Ani!" Valin exclaimed and presented his young uncle with a flower. Anakin smiled gently and accepted the gift while ruffling Valin's hair. There was a lot about Anakin that Tenel Ka didn't understand. Some things, like his fierce loyalty, had gained Tenel Ka's admiration and respect. Others baffled her somewhat, like his sense of the galaxy. Anakin wasn't like Jacen in Anakin's belief that the balance of light in dark in Jedi techniques was essential. Jacen firmly believed that using dark was always a negative thing and that it was easy to lose one's self in fighting.

"That's a Rose, like your sister's name," Anakin was saying as Tenel Ka returned her attention to the scene in front of her. "Can you say 'Rose,' Valin?"

Valin frowned in concentration, "R-brose."

Anakin gave a shrug in Tenel Ka's direction, "He was close."

"He seems to like you a lot, Anakin," Tenel Ka said, voicing her thoughts. Anakin stood up, his eyes growing serious.

"Probably because he doesn't know I'm not his father and that his father is dead because I didn't do anything," Anakin looked over at Valin as the boy sat himself down on the brick pathway and used a piece of bark to pat at the bricks.

"No, this is not a fact," Tenel Ka replied with a harsh stare in Anakin's direction, "He likes you, because you are a good person, Anakin."

Anakin laughed, "You, like Jacen, naively believe something about me that isn't true," Anakin smiled, "But thank you."

Tenel Ka turned her head to look across the park as a flock of birds took off from the cluster of trees at the far end of the path. "I don't understand how you can be so insulting towards yourself when it was you who showed Jacen what was important."

Anakin blinked, "I didn't do anything."

Tenel Ka smiled, "Ah, aha, but you did. You had always had a strong passion for the things you believed in and for the people around you. Before Jacen might not have told me how he felt, but because you were so confident, you showed him how things could be." She let her gaze drift contently off towards the path as another person stopped at its entrance. "Your love, Anakin, is something to be proud of, for it is a rare thing to have passion that is so pure that it can overcome the dark side of the force."

Anakin hid his embarrassment behind his hood as he brought it up around his face. Because of that he didn't see the figure approach him from the side and only turned when something touched his hand.

"I was wondering where you'd gone," Two green eyes peered into Anakin's from the side. Something threw back his hood. "You look inconspicuous like that, you know."

Anakin decided against telling her that he'd only put it up a minute ago because he'd been embarrassed by Tenel Ka's compliment. Anakin knew as well as anyone that Tenel Ka rarely gave out compliments, they were as rare as the number of Sytars left in the galaxy. It was a gift to be treasured that she'd voiced the compliment at all.

"Anakin?" Tahiri stepped over so she was in front of Anakin. He shook his head.

"Sorry for running out on you guys like that," He looked at Tahiri, "I wasn't being rational."

Tahiri touched his cheek, "You were upset, I know you're still hurt and I'm sure James and Wynn do as well."

Anakin sighed, "That's no excuse for me to be a-" All other words were lost as Tahiri pressed her lips to his. There was a brief pause after they broke off where Anakin regarded Tahiri with a questioning look.

"That wasn't very nice, I was trying to apologize," Anakin said irritably. She smiled.

"And I'm saying you don't have to," Tahiri replied with a small laugh, "Sometimes it's just understood that you don't mean things the way they come out. I'm sure anyone with a head on their shoulders knows that too."

Anakin rolled his shoulders to loosen the tension that had been there since he'd stormed out of his and Tahiri's apartment. "So you're not going to kick me out?"

Tahiri made a face, "Why would I do that?"

"I can get pretty annoying in large doses," Anakin said with an arched brow. They stared at each other for a few minutes before they both cracked up laughing.

"Better?" Tahiri questioned. He smiled warmly this time.

"Yeah, much," Anakin glanced back at Tenel Ka who nodded in assent of his unspoken question, she didn't miss much, not that Anakin expected her to.

"You should go home, Anakin, we will be fine on our own," Tenel Ka watched as Anakin's blue eyes showed his hesitation. That he could care about so many people, showed how large his heart really was, Tenel Ka had never met anyone on Hapes like Jacen or Anakin, both of whom had hearts large enough to fit the whole galaxy. Jaina was like that too, though she was harder to get to admit it than Anakin or Jacen were. "I will summon someone else."

"I'll take care of it," Anakin said with a shake of his head. He pulled out his comlink and prepared to call in a favor, at least for the duration of Tenel Ka's stay Anakin would make sure she stayed safe.

As an unspoken promise to Jacen.

"How about this?"

"No."

"This?"

"I'm going to puke."

"Okay, then, this one?"

"Are you kidding," It wasn't a question.

"Right…. This one?" His tone was now painfully hopeful.

"I can't believe I'm marrying a guy who's completely color blind _and _tone deaf."

Zekk snorted defensively, "Tone deaf? I've never sung in front of you!" He muttered something under his breath before looking at Jaina once more, "You're being excruciatingly stingy, you know," Zekk grumbled as he threw behind him what seemed like the hundredth rejection of wedding colors. Every single time he'd made a combination Jaina had given him an even weirder look as the combinations continued to grow more and more "off" in her opinion. To Zekk, however, they were brilliant.

Which brought the subject of conflict to the forefront, "Fine, you seem so confident that you know what colors we should have, tell me," He frowned at her as he nodded, "Well, go on, then."

Jaina sighed, "Zekk, I'm not trying to start a fight here."

"Then what are you doing? You don't seem to want to agree with anything I suggest either," Zekk pointed out and Jaina was forced to concede that she had in fact been a little more difficult than she originally intended.

"It's not that I didn't like any of your choices, Zekk," She said hesitantly. Zekk noticed the change in her tone because he stopped his next retort from rising and brushed it aside. He then reached out and touched her hand.

"What's going on, Jaina?" He asked. "I know you well enough to know that you're not worried about the colors." She shook her head wordlessly in confirmation. "Then what's wrong, Jay? Tell me."

She shifted a little and then bit her lip, an incredibly uncharacteristic gesture for Jaina to make, so Zekk was immediately on his feet and walked over to the other side of the table where Jaina was seated in the kitchen of the Solo Family's apartment. He brought his arms around her as he kneeled next to her.

"I love you, Jaina, so please, if there's something bothering you, I need to know what it is," Zekk said, his voice unusually soft. Even though he had a gentler voice, it always had a teasing and sort of roughness to it at times, but now it was completely soft. Jaina could almost lose herself in the sound alone.

"I'm just nervous about the future," She admitted, looking decidedly at the floor. Zekk lifted her chin so her eyes were level with his.

"I'm going to be right here next to you the whole time, Jay," He said, his green eyes shining with his usual confidence. The light there was something Jaina knew she'd missed for the three years she'd thought he'd been dead. Zekk leaned his forehead against Jaina's. "You know I wouldn't leave you, right?"

She nodded, the flare returning to her brandy eyes, "I know." She touched his cheek and then kissed him lightly on the lips before Zekk looked into her eyes, his own still ridden with the deep concern he felt.

"Was that all that was bothering you?" He asked.

She shook her head, "I was worried about whether or not I'd be able to handle whatever happens to the galaxy. I mean, we're going to be the ones taking care of it soon."

Zekk shrugged, "I don't know what you're so worried about. You're a Solo that kind of thing is in your blood."

Jaina grunted, "Yeah, right. In my mom's and maybe Anakin's but I think it skipped Jacen and me."

Zekk chuckled, "You're a little too modest for your own good, Jaina. I know that a lot of people would follow you if you just decided to lead."

Jaina raised a brown eyebrow, "Really?" She asked wryly, "Like whom?"

Zekk made a mock thinking face, "Oh, I don't know…. Me?" As Jaina continued to look unconvinced Zekk poked her and then began kissing her on the ear when she shoved him away.

"Stop that, Zekk," She said, although her face showed the humor that she barely managed to hide from Zekk, who grinned, seeing that he had won. Without any warning he began tickling Jaina who shoved him back, but he lost his balance and fell back down, hovering over her as she lay on the ground, speechless. After a moment Zekk brushed the hair from Jaina's face and leaned down to kiss it, as he moved back up, Jaina wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back down, kissing him harder and fuller than she ever had before.

Their bodies touched one another briefly during the kiss and that only served to deepen their embrace. After they broke off, Jaina smiled up at Zekk, who returned the facial expression to the ends of his mouth.

"How about brown and green?" Zekk suggested. Jaina thought for a moment and then nodded. The colors of their eyes were fine and in truth, she hadn't disliked any of Zekk's choices. But at the moment, neither of them really cared.

Kirk pulled nervously at his white collared shirt as he stood waiting outside of the apartment building. He wondered if it was enough that he was only wearing a simple collared shirt and Khaki pants accompanied by his usual boots.

He smoothed over the front of his shirt for what seemed like the fiftieth time. His preoccupation with his attire tore his attention from the approaching person behind him. When Natie's hand touched his arm Kirk nearly jumped a foot in the air.

"What's got you all jumpy?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow at the man, whom she had never expected any signs of surprise, yet here he was, completely and honestly startled.

"I just didn't notice you coming," Kirk said, catching his breath and calming himself, he knew he was overly nervous and that the fact that it was obvious to Natie was a bad thing.

"Don't you sense people when they're coming?" She waved her hand to indicate his Jedi powers. "You know."

_Not when they're not paying attention or distracted, _Kirk thought to himself with some annoyance in his own direction.

"Well, let's go," Natie said and started walking. "Where did you say we were going?"

Kirk looked over at her, his usual calm returned, "I didn't, it's a place only I know about."

Natie looked at him strangely, "Only you?"

"Yes," Kirk replied, _And one other person._

After an hour long landspeeder ride, Natie got out and immediately saw why Kirk had said that. "Wow, Kirk, this is amazing."

**A/N- Well, it's a more pleasant cliffie, so I think you guys can live with it. Please R &R!! =)**


	37. Gifts and Curses

**Chapter 36**

**Gifts and Curses**

_A/N- Yes, I borrowed the title from the song by Yellowcard. It's not the type of band I usually listen to but I liked that particular song, so I decided to borrow the title. I do not own the song or the lyrics, Yellowcard does._

…_. Oh, alright!! I admit it, I only got into listening to this song because I watched an Avatar (Last Airbender) AMV that used it in a totally wickedly awesome way. Happy? *Grumbles something in wookiee*_

_Oh, the wonders of music and writing… it makes for such a great combination._

_By the way, I've set a number of hits that has to be reached in order for me not to enforce the email only updates (to those who have reviewed and/or sent me feedback through PMs) and the number of reviews that must be met by February 19__th__ is 30. I'm going to be flexible and say two people together can meet that goal. But it has to be two new people; those who have already reviewed won't count towards this since they're going to be able to get the emails anyways. You have a little over three weeks, go forth!!_

_I hope everyone is enjoying the fic and I appreciate all the support and reviews I've received so far. _

_REMEMBER TO VOTE IN THE NAMESAKE SERIES OC POLL ON MY PROFILE!!!!!!_

_A special congratulations to jediluver033 who is now officially my beta, thank you for all your hard work! _

_Thanks to the following users for their feedback as well:_

_newworldwriter1_

_jason kent_

_JediBettyBug_

_Keep warm! (At least it's cold where I am). _

_-Don =)_

* * *

Mary belongs to the words of a song.  
I try to be strong for her, try not to be wrong for her.  
But she will not wait for me, anymore, anymore.  
Why did I say all those things before? I was sure.

(She is the one), but I have a purpose,  
(she is the one), and I have to fight this,  
(she is the one), a villian I can't knock down.

I see your face with every punch I take,  
and every bone I break, it's all for you.  
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,  
still I will always fight on for you.

Mary's alive in the bright New York sky,  
the city lights shine for her, above them I cry for her.  
Everything's small on the ground below, down below.  
What if I fall, then where would I go, would she know?

(She is the one), all that I wanted,  
(she is the one), and I will be haunted,  
(she is the one), this gift is my curse for now.

I see your face with every punch I take,  
and every bone I break, it's all for you.  
And my worst pains are words I cannot say,  
Still I will always fight on for you. Fight on for you ...

-"Gifts and Curses" by Yellowcard.

* * *

"I got a bad feeling about this, Boss," Matek said as he stepped over the rubble scattered around them as they trudged through the ground level of Kessel. The place had, for the better of the years since the Empire had been toppled, a factory town and nothing more. To the surprise of Miko and his crew, it had also apparently been the target of an attack. By what, Miko wasn't sure.

That was what brought the crew of the _Asteroid _and Matek's own ship, as he was working with Miko as part of a deal, but soon that deal had extended when Miko saved Matek from being caught smuggling by the New Republic's police several years ago. Matek Karrde was, despite his mishap, in Miko's opinion at least, the best smuggler since Talon Karrde and Han Solo became respectable.

Karrde was now the commander of a squad of former smuggler pilots but spent most of his time playing Sabacc these days. Matek was now taking up his father's helm in his ventures in space with Miko. Of course, Matek had insisted on having a ship of his own. The _Wild Karrde_ was, and would remain Talon Karrde's ship, not Matek's. His was similar to the Republic Consular class cruiser but sleeker and angled for quick dodging and weaving. Matek called his prized ship _Black Moon. _True to its name, the ship was only visible in the light of the moon or brighter planets. Matek took pride that he'd built the ship himself. Talon had commended his son but the older smuggler hadn't actually seen _Moon _in action. It was a demon to anyone trying to smuggle things under the _Moon's _nose, because there wasn't any way to do that. Matek had built in his own tracking system that was not only undetectable by outside scanners but it could sense the scanners of anyone else's ship.

"We're not here to worry about our fears, Matek," Miko said, turning his blaster rifle slightly so it could have more range in case of a sudden attack.

"I know that, Miko," Matek replied, his dropped friendly title for his friend indicated the smuggler's clear misgivings, and he felt the acid in his stomach churn as he saw the first body since they'd arrived. If one could call it a body since it was hardly a body anymore since most of the limbs had been blown off by some kind of explosive. It was probably the same explosion that had reduced most of the small factory town to rubble. Matek's cool hazel eyes flicked over to where he could see more bodies in a similar condition as the first one.

"What the hell happened here?" Matek voiced finally after he'd looked at what was the twentieth mutilated body.

"Dunno," Miko responded, kneeling down on the ground, the strap of his blaster rifle strained and the butt clacked on the rocky ground. "Looks like something big blasted the kriff out of this town."

"The real question is why," Matek said, finishing Miko's thought. The dark haired man nodded and exchanged a glance with his brownish red haired friend. Miko continued to make his sweep of the area when Matek's broke through the smoke filled air.

"I think we might be in over our heads with this," Matek said, his voice sounding almost awestruck as well as disgusted. Miko came over to see what Matek was looking at and had to scowl to keep his anger in check.

"This is definitely not good," Because it was Miko saying it, Matek believed the words right to his core. So far, Miko had never shown any signs of misgiving or fear but at the moment but were in Miko's eyes. Both were spreading through both Matek's and Miko's crews.

* * *

Kirk dropped down the ledge and landed cleanly next to Natie as they walked further down the cliff's side and into the cavern hidden to the side of the junk yard mountain's gates. The lights of the city and the natural sky reflected into the cave's sides, illuminating the rocks to the point where they made glittering rainbows across the floor. The luminous cavern brought out the colors in the skin of the two people as Kirk crouched down to pick up one of the rocks. He pulled out a glow-rod and held it up to the rock, the glow of the gem inside reflected in his eyes and on the walls behind them.

"How did you find this place? I had no idea Coruscant had anything like this," Natie said, crouching down on her knees so she could get a closer look at the gem in Kirk's hands.

"I didn't either," Kirk said with a small amount of sadness hidden beneath his clear enjoyment of being in such a natural place. "Nina showed it to me, when I took her to Coruscant. She was born here, so I wanted to see it for myself. She said she found out about this cavern when she ran away from home. It's hidden behind all the junkyards and buildings, so you would miss it unless you were looking for a treasure in the murky waters."

Natie regarded Kirk as he continued to turn the gem around in his hand, creating hundreds of specks of multicolored light. His expression was neutral but she could tell he was conflicted by being in the cavern. His eyes showed the lost person inside that was still stuck in the past along with all the memories it held.

"Why did you want to show me this if it hurts to be here?" Natie decided on asking after a silence fell between them. Kirk's eyes finally left the gem and rested on Natie.

He was about to insist that it didn't hurt but in all honesty, it did. Ever passing minute caused a pang to his insides as the memories flooded back into his mind.

"_Kirk, come on!"_

"_Hang on, where the kriff are we?" Kirk climbed over the rocks at the entrance to the cave and stumbled as he went down the end to where Nina waited impatiently tapping her foot._

"_Don't swear, just trust me, okay?" She grabbed his hand and half pulled, half dragged the fourteen year old boy behind her. After a few minutes they stood in the cavern and Nina let go of Kirk's hand long enough to pick up a rock and pulled out a glow-rod. _

"_Hold this," she pressed the gem into his hands. Kirk did as he was bidden, confusion still etched onto his face. She then raised the glow-rod over the gem and the cave exploded with the glittering lights. Kirk's eyes widened with wonder and he found that he couldn't do anything but stare at the lights glowing in the cave like thousands of rainbow fireflies in the cavern's night sky._

"_Neat, huh?" Nina asked, looking at Kirk with a smile. He nodded blankly. Something about the light was making his mind go around and around in circles, but mostly he was focused on the way the lights hit Nina's face. He couldn't think of any reason why he'd want to be spending his time with anyone else. _

_The gem hung loosely in Kirk's hand as he pulled his lips away from where they were on Nina's own. _

"_Neat," Kirk assented with a smile and Nina blushed._

"Kirk?" Natie asked as she stared into his eyes. "Are you okay?"

He shook his head, "This place has a lot of memories for me," He shivered half in pain and half in a bittersweet nostalgic way. This had been a place of beginnings for Kirk, the cavern was where Kirk's anger at the galaxy for its neglect faded and for a few hours, he had nothing to worry about. _Naiveté could go a long way, at least until the truth was thrown in your face_, Kirk thought to himself.

He glanced over at Natie, who was transfixed by the lights created by the gem, her youthful eyes wide with fascination and delight. Kirk watched her for a moment until the lights illuminated her entire face in the darkness of the cavern. He looked at her for a minute before the lights reflected on his face too.

_Nina leaned back on Kirk's chest as they both lay on the cavern's floor. "Hey, Kirk, do you think we can change the galaxy?"_

_Kirk turned his head, "Why would you want to change it?"_

"_Just tell me, if it was possible to change it for the better, do you think we could do it?"_

_Kirk considered and then smiled affectionately, "Why not?"_

_Why not, _the words echoed in Kirk's mind as he suddenly lost track of where his head and mind were. Something warm and soft was touching his lips and sent warmth throughout his body in a tingling sensation. He was a fourteen year old again with the strangeness of a first kiss stunned and excited him.

"You're not as shabby at kissing as you look," Natie said with a smile, hiding her surprise at his sudden action. Kirk glanced around the cave for a second before he smiled.

_Why not?_

* * *

Anakin stood patiently waiting, chewing his lip as he waited outside the door. Tahiri had somehow convinced him that talking to someone about his pain over losing Jacen was a good idea, but Anakin wasn't entirely sure that she'd picked the right person for Anakin to talk to. After another excruciating minute passed, the door opened and Mara smiled at her nephew.

"Come on in, Anakin, I was just making tea," Mara stepped aside while Anakin stepped into the apartment. In seconds Ben came running from his room and threw his arms around his older cousin with intense energy that nearly knocked Anakin to the floor.

"Anakin!" The seven year old exclaimed, "I missed you!" Anakin smiled as he placed his hand on the younger boy's head.

"I missed you too, Ben," Anakin felt Mara's gaze on him but didn't comment on it. "Are you keeping up with your training?"

"Yup," The boy bobbed his head then looked sullen as he scuffed his shoes across the carpet, "But Daddy hasn't been home to teach me much."

Anakin ruffled his cousin's hair, "Hey, your Dad's a busy guy. But I'm sure you have other people to teach you."

Ben suddenly looked hopeful, "Will _you _teach me?"

Anakin chuckled, "Only if you mom will let me," he gave Mara a questioning look of amusement. She grinned back.

"We'll see," Mara replied and gave her son a nod. Ben bounded over to the door, which opened once more to reveal Luke.

"Ready to go, Sport?" Luke asked his son who let out a whoop before running down the hall. Luke shrugged at Mara and Anakin and then closed the door behind him.

Mara then turned to Anakin, "So, Tahiri tells me you're having some trouble coping with Jacen's death."

* * *

Anakin had told Tenel Ka that he'd be sending someone to protect her while she stayed on Coruscant, but the person, or rather, alien, in question was more than a surprise to the Hapan Queen, her aide, and especially to her children.

The only one who wasn't surprised was the alien himself. With his taught grayish blue skeletal face stared stiffly at Tenel Ka for a moment before he spoke. "Queen Tenel Ka Djo Solo of the Royal Family of Hapes, I greet you with honor," The alien crossed his arms in an x shape over his chest and inclined his head.

Now honor on the other hand, was something Tenel Ka had a lot of experience with. She lived by the code her people had set out in the beginning, the code she had lived by and then used in tandem with the Jedi code. But this was a little strange, having a Yuuzhan Vong as her body guard, on Coruscant no less.

But to Tenel Ka's surprise, at the waist of the warrior was a blaster and what looked like detonators and slug over the warrior's back was a metal force pike. Another long look confirmed that this particular Yuuzhan Vong had no qualms about fighting with what would normally be dubbed by Yuuzhan Vong as "abominations." The warrior also wore a light cloak and pants shaped for fighting with ease. Tenel Ka couldn't be sure what kind of experience the warrior had gone through in order to make him so different from her impressions of the Yuuzhan Vong from the duration of the war.

"Lord Anakin has informed me that you are adept with a lightsaber," The Yuuzhan Vong continued as though he hadn't noticed the direction Tenel Ka's gaze. He probably hadn't seen the facial expression of the warrior hadn't changed in the least. "I presume my duty will mostly be to watch your heirs?"

Tenel Ka nodded, her approval of the warrior increased somewhat. The warrior knew better than to underestimate the power of a Jedi and knew how far his protection would extend. Though Tenel Ka was still a little unnerved by the fact that someone had drugged her food and the culprit had never been caught.

"Your Highness, if I may," The Yuuzhan Vong said with another inclination of his head. Tenel Ka nodded for the warrior to continue.

"My name is Vua Rapuung. I am indebted to Anakin Solo and thus my protection extends to you because he wished for me to watch over you. I will not, however, overstep my boundaries should you wish to set them."

"Thank you," Tenel Ka said with a curt nod, "I will only need for my children to be protected, I will be fine."

"As you will, Your Highness," Vua Rapuung bowed low and then stepped aside to give Tenel Ka space but was still close enough for intervention in case of danger in the park. Without the force in Vua Rapuung, Tenel Ka felt strange around the alien. It was odd that only a few years ago the very idea of a Yuuzhan Vong warrior being indebted willingly to a human, let alone a Jedi, was inconceivable, until now at least.

True to his word, Vua Rapuung did not even make his presence obvious to passersby, as his cloak was up and a quick glance would only show that it was someone tall with a cloak, most would probably assume Vua Rapuung was a Jedi, not a Yuuzhan Vong warrior turned tame by New Republic standards. That was probably the reason why Anakin had Vua Rapuung wear a cloak and pants, if that had in fact been Anakin's doing at all.

"Mommy, look!" Valin held out in his palm a small turtle-like critter with horns on its head that he had picked up from the bushes of the park. Tenel Ka bent over to look at the turtle with some interest of her own. There was no doubt that Jacen would have liked to see the horned turtle his son had found. Valin was so like Jacen it almost hurt just to look at the little boy as he scampered away to put the turtle back onto the grass where it crawled slowly, but steadily away.

As though he had felt his mother's distress, Valin turned his head and then came over, peering up at his mother with inquiring eyes. "Mommy?"

Tenel Ka smiled, "Nothing, Valin, I am fine."

"Nuh-uh, you sad," Valin said, not quite forming his sentence but Tenel Ka got the gist of it.

"Your son has good senses, Your Highness, if you do not mind my saying," Vua Rapuung said, folding his arms in what looked like a meditative gesture to Tenel Ka. She looked over at the Yuuzhan Vong. "I may not be the most compassionate of creatures, but I am able to see pain clearly on the faces of those around me."

Tenel Ka thought for a moment before replying, "I do not believe the Yuuzhan Vong are uncompassionate, nor do I believe that you are any exception, Warrior Vua Rapuung." Tenel Ka turned her head to look down at Valin, who was still gazing at his mother with clear cut concern and worry ridden on his features. "I am still in mourning over my husband." She stated simply, though it seemed almost distant as she said it. A heavy breath came out with her next words, "Over Jacen, my best friend and only love."

Vua Rapuung, once again to Tenel Ka's surprise, looked almost sympathetic, "Loss is a difficult thing. Even where death is common, it causes pain and tension where we would rather not have it." He looked down at Valin, "Though there is always hope at the end that the pain will pass in time to leave good memories in peace."

Tenel Ka found the words both truthful as well as poetic. It never would have occurred to Tenel Ka to consult a Yuuzhan Vong over something as painful as Jacen's death had been in the beginning and still was, then again, Jacen himself had been a surprise.

It was time to stop expecting gifts to come in obvious forms.

* * *

Matek kicked his foot out, and when nothing happened, he turned to Miko, who was still examining their find. It had turned out to be the carcass of a Vongcor, but it was mutilated far beyond recognition of either of the species it was combined with.

"How did this thing get here? I wasn't aware that the Yuuzhan Vong invaded Kessel," Matek said, grimacing. Miko scowled, his furrowed brow casting shadows over his eyes.

"That's because they didn't." Miko said, looking over his shoulder at the mass of carcasses surrounding them.

"What?" Matek looked at Miko questioning as well as took a step back from the stench of the rotting bodies. Matek held his sleeve up to his face. "Gas masks would have been nice," He muttered under his breath. "You mean something else killed them?"

Miko nodded as he knelt down to examine the carcass closest to them, "They were killed by something that could have burned them."

"Flames? Someone burned them?"

"Or cut them," Miko said, standing back up. Matek's eyes widened then narrowed in comprehension.

"Wait, you mean…?"

"Yes, these creatures and the people here were killed by Jedi,"

* * *

Zekk stood in front of the mirror, fidgeting with his shirt for what seemed like the hundredth time. He couldn't be sure when he was getting it right since he hadn't had much experience with a suit and tie, let alone a tux. Luckily most of his outfit would be covered by his green Jedi robes made especially for the wedding. Their wedding, which was tomorrow, two days before Anakin and Tahiri's wedding.

"You'll be fine, Zekk," Jaina said as she walked through the living room on her way to the kitchen. He turned his head to look at her incredulously. "Calm down."

"We're getting married _tomorrow_ and you're telling me to _calm down_?" Zekk blurted, fidgeting even more with his bowtie and then just let it hang around his neck.

"Yes, I am," Jaina replied, coming back to the bedroom where Zekk was standing with his tux partly on, the rest of the parts lay on the bed in their wrappings from the stores. The robe, of course, was being handmade by a friend of Luke's who knew how to make Jedi robes better than anyone else. She raised her eyebrow at him but when he continued to look distraught she walked over and placed a hand on his arm to stop him from fidgeting even more.

"What's wrong, Zekk?" Jaina asked, "If you're not ready to do this, if you don't want to have the wedding, just tell me." She gave him a long look but before she could continued Zekk cut in.

"Of course I want to marry you! I've wanted that since I came back from the void, it's just…" He averted his eyes but Jaina's hand brought it gently back around to look into her brandy eyes.

"Tell me, Zekk," She pressed, "I'm not going to run away just because you have something to say to me."

"You might," Zekk said hesitantly.

"Try me," Jaina challenged with a sharp glance back at the door to make sure no one had walked in on their conversation, though she already knew from the force that nobody had. It was more reflexive than anything else.

"I don't know if you realize how I feel about you," Zekk said tentatively, his eyes still working hard not to look away, even with Jaina's hand there to keep Zekk from looking down his eyes still darted from side to side.

"Well, we're getting married, aren't we? I think it's pretty obvious," Jaina said simply then her eyes narrowed. "Unless you're talking about something else… are you?"

Zekk swallowed as quietly as possible, "Do you feel anything when you touch me?"

Jaina frowned and then thought about the question for a moment, "Well, yeah, I mean I feel something. It's hard not to."

"That's not what I meant," Zekk said, pushing her hand down and staring hard into Jaina's eyes. "I know how we both stand emotionally but I don't know about how you feel physically."

Jaina opened her mouth and then shut it slowly when no sound came out. She knew this conversation would come up, but she hadn't expected Zekk to bring it up this close to the wedding. She expected him to broach it later rather than sooner. But apparently Zekk had been thinking the latter for a while. It wasn't a mystery to Jaina where Zekk's thoughts lay. No, she knew exactly what he was thinking even without their bond.

"Jay, when I said I loved you, I meant it," He said, grasping her hands, "That means all of you."

Jaina blinked, searching her mind for the words, but once again they didn't seem to be forthcoming. Finally she managed a small response, "Well, it's not like I haven't thought about it, Zekk. I mean I do feel a lot of things when I'm around you, both emotional and physical. I'm just taking things one step at a time." She nodded, "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Don't worry about how we feel now." She squeezed his hands and then leaned over and kissed him tenderly on the lips, both of them savored the moment before they broke away, twin smiles on their faces.

"So you don't hate the idea?" Zekk questioned. Jaina sighed and then rolled her eyes.

"Like I said, we'll get to it when we get to it," Jaina saw his smirk and then punched him in the arm. "You were pulling my leg, weren't you?"

Zekk laughed, "Only just now."

"That still warrants a punishment," Jaina said, folding her arms across her chest and then grinned in contemplation. "What should I do?"

Zekk shifted uncomfortably, when Jaina decided she was going to "punish him" it usually involved something really painful, like sparring with Jaina while he only had a sparring stick and she had a lightsaber. A glint appeared in her eyes, indicating to Zekk that she was done thinking and he stiffened, but his surprise, Jaina didn't say anything and then stepped back away from him.

Zekk braced, _Is she going to charge at me with her lightsaber? _His force sense then picked up a presence that wasn't there before and turned his head to look in the doorway.

"Peckhum!" Zekk exclaimed.

* * *

Once they were settled on the couch with two mugs of tea, Mara fixated Anakin with a gentle look of understanding, "Jacen's death wasn't your fault," She said, "He died while we were sleeping, Anakin."

"Still," Anakin said, his teeth clenching and then unclenching like his fists. "If I hadn't been wandering around the galaxy, I could have been there sooner."

"And done what?" Mara asked sternly, "Sacrificed yourself so he could live?"

"If it'd make Jaina and Tenel Ka stop crying, I would do it in a heartbeat," Anakin answered firmly. Mara regarded Anakin silently for a moment before she spoke.

"You have a gift for being able to care about other people Anakin," Mara said, giving him a nod, "But you can't let that become your curse as well. The void, if anything, should have taught you to be cautious about throwing your life away so easily," She frowned slightly, "I know it's hard to see right now, but you'll be happy you didn't consider going on a revenge streak that could cause you to lose what you have now."

Anakin leaned back on the couch, scowling skeptically, "What would you know about that?"

Mara smiled wryly, "I was the Emperor's Hand, Anakin. Luke was my natural enemy when I met him for the first time and even before then I'd believed he was my enemy. After the Emperor fell, I strongly believed it was my responsibility to kill Luke. I almost did, too," Mara looked at Anakin as his face revealed his horror mixed with confusion.

"What stopped you?"

"Well," Mara paused for a moment as she thought about the battle that had taken place in the presence of Joruus C'baoth's violently deranged clone. "The Emperor's echoing voice had been commanding me through the force to take revenge on Luke for Vader's betrayal, but in the end, C'baoth was the one who really stopped me from killing Luke."

"C'baoth?" Anakin repeated, "Wasn't he killed before then?"

"Yes, but the one we met was his clone," Mara replied, folding her hands together, "He had a clone of Luke and planned to make one of me in case we didn't bow to his will." She grimaced, "You can guess how Luke responded to being someone's servant, especially a clone with violent intentions."

Anakin's eyes widened, "He didn't try to fight him, did he?"

"In the beginning, no," Mara replied, "But C'baoth isn't much for talking. So eventually Luke was forced to fight another clone. His own."

Anakin frowned. He had heard the story of how Uncle Luke had gone to Degobah and faced Vader in the cave, but when Luke cut the helmet off, the mask exploded and revealed Luke's own face. Anakin had gone to Degobah twice. Each time bore different results but Anakin was sure that he didn't want to fight himself as a dark Jedi.

"So then you ended up killing the clone instead of Uncle Luke?" Anakin asked, guessing where the story was going. Mara nodded and took a sip of her tea.

"I didn't think about it until afterwards, but I was glad that I hadn't killed the real Luke," Mara smiled wistfully, "Funny how that works, but you lose one thing but you gain another." She looked carefully at Anakin, "I lost the Empire but I gained a life where I could live for something more."

The door opened and Ben rushed in and jumped at Mara's legs. "Mommy, Mommy, Dad took me for a ride in the Jade Shadow and he even let me drive for a whole hour!"

Mara gave Luke a strange Look, "Did he now?"

Luke looked almost sheepish, "We were cruising, so I thought he might enjoy it."

"Go get ready for dinner," Mara said to Ben, "I'll deal with your father."

Ben grinned, "Dad's in trouble, Dad's in trouble!" He sang as he ran to his room. Anakin looked over at his uncle. It was strange to imagine that his uncle, Luke Skywalker, had once been an insecure young man and Mara had once been a cold killer and member of the Empire. Now they were two loving parents who had a lively son who was their entire world.

"I think I understand what you mean," Anakin said with a secretive smile in Mara's direction. He stood up and then nodded. "Thanks for the tea, Aunt Mara." Then he went out, closing the door behind him. Luke turned to Mara in confusion.

"What was that all about? What'd you tell him?"

"Just some advice from one stubborn Jedi to another," She smiled at the closed door, the feeling Anakin had left with was more level than the one he came in with. Mara then turned to Luke and folded her arms across her chest. "Now what's this about taking the Jade Shadow for a joy ride without my permission?"

* * *

Tahiri paused as she felt the other presence enter the training room. A snap-hiss sounded to her left and a violet blade glowed next to her elbow.

"I thought you could use some company," Anakin said with a smile. Tahiri's eyes went back to normal after her surprise dissipated.

"What did Mara say to you?" She inquired as they deflected the first round of attack devices the training room had to offer.

"Just that I should consider what I've already got instead of risking losing it on something else," Anakin slashed down one of the laser shooting droids before it could even touch Tahiri. He then turned around to kiss her, ignoring the lasers that singed his training gear. He then used the force to send the droids into the wall where they crackled with electricity before crumpling in a heap on the floor.

But Anakin had stopped paying attention to the threat of the droids a long ago he was exactly where he wanted to be, with his arms around his best friend.

**A/N- Thanks for your patience in the posting. Please review! =)**


	38. Behind the Mind's Eyes

**Chapter 37**

**Behind The Mind's Eyes**

_A/N- Sorry for the delay in postings, I've been really tired lately and so I haven't done as much writing as I would have liked to. Plus I wasn't able to upload documents for the past two days because of a problem with my documents. It's resolved now but I'm still annoyed by it. Rest assured I am working to amend my delays that I can control._

_The hit count has gone up again so I'll only reiterate that the review count needs to go up since it hasn't changed this entire week (but again this only affects those of you who haven't reviewed/given feedback before). _

_I am happy that so many people are enjoying my Obi-Wan series "Somewhere Out There" so far. I hope that anyone reading both stories will let me know what they think of the linking I've done so far (there isn't much so far but I'm working on that as well). Chapter four of "Somewhere" is now up too!! ^_^_

_Thanks for reading and DON'T FORGET TO VOTE IN THE "NAMESAKE TRILOGY" OC POLL ON MY PROFILE!!! (Thanks to the two voters who already did). I added some new characters to reflect the new OCs in the story so that should add a little more to the range of choices. _

_Danke,_

_-Don =)_

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Jaina had almost had a premature heart attack when she had heard that her father, Han Solo, might not make it in for the ceremony due to a problem with a prison break that had occurred some time ago. But Han did come in that morning, he was tired and run down, but he was there. She calmed somewhat but it seemed like stress was the theme of the day.

Zekk had the worst of it in Jaina's opinion. Peckhum, as Zekk's almost adoptive father, was angry that he'd been left out of the meeting of parents after Zekk had proposed. As a result, Peckhum had almost left Coruscant in a huff but Zekk, after an hour of arguing, convinced Peckhum that Zekk had simply been distracted by the simple fact that he'd proposed at all and that he had to repeat the fact to Jaina's parents. Peckhum, who was only upset over being left out of Zekk's life since the old freighter pilot had found out that Zekk was alive.

Once that was over, Zekk had to endure the impending pressure of the number of people Leia had invited on the Solo side of the family and that he didn't know more than half of them by name or face.

Now with only an hour to the actual ceremony, Zekk found himself pacing in the room set aside for him to get ready. He gulped and tried practicing his response but nothing seemed to formulate correctly. He was now outright inarticulate. _Fuck, I'm so not ready. _He thought. The door opened, startling Zekk and then he relaxed when he saw the brown robed form of Anakin Solo. Because of his hair color, Jaina had decided Anakin should wear brown instead of green. Tahiri, of course, was wearing green to compliment his brown.

"You're a little on edge," Anakin noted as he walked in, pausing to readjust his own tie. Zekk groaned.

"I don't need reminding, Anakin," He said, raising eyes from their focus on the floor. Anakin shook his head.

"I was kidding, Zekk. I'm confident that you love my sister and that's enough for me to know that you're going to be okay," Anakin clapped Zekk on the shoulder and then leaned over as he lowered his voice so only Anakin and Zekk could hear. "Between you and me, she's probably more nervous than you are."

Zekk frowned at the comment, "I highly doubt that but thanks." Anakin nodded with a familiar grin. Zekk often wondered what it would have been like if Anakin and Jaina had been twins and Jacen had been the youngest. It was a strange sentiment, worth pursuing, just not right now.

"What about you?" Zekk asked, stopping Anakin as he headed back towards the door. Anakin turned, paused to think for a second and then shook his head.

"I was nervous but I realized a while ago that I loved Tahiri too much to care if it showed or not," Anakin smiled and gave a wink before exiting the room. Zekk thought for a moment, and then slowly a smile crossed his face.

As if to prove a point, the wedding went as smoothly as weddings could go. Luke, at the request of Jaina and Zekk, was the one who married them.

"Do you, Zekk Zahn, take Jaina Solo to be your lawfully wedded partner under the force?"

"Why do you think I'm standing here?" He answered before realizing he didn't have to respond that way and improvised by nodding, "I do."

"Do you, Jaina Solo-" Luke began but Jaina cut him off too. With Jedi being married it was hard not to jump over pieces when you could sense what the person marrying you was going to say.

"Yeah, I do," She lifted her brow at Zekk, who seemed stunned by her abrupt response. _Just following your tune, Zekk. _

_I noticed, _He mused as Luke finished, "Then with the force I pronounce you-" He began but Jaina and Zekk had already skipped right to the kissing part so Luke just shrugged with a smile and then clapped a hand on his niece and now nephew in law's shoulders.

"I hope you two can actually finish your ceremony," Leia commented to Anakin and Tahiri, who were seated next to Leia and Han in the audience. Anakin exchanged a curious look with Tahiri, who shrugged.

"We'll try," Anakin replied, and received a snort of laughter from Han, who was clearly enjoying the idea of the ceremony being so short. He hated formalities, including his own wedding, aside from being married to Leia, Han hadn't much relished the idea of having to dress up and march down an aisle of any kind.

"I think I'm going to like having Zekk as a son in law, he's a real scoundrel," Han folded his arm across his chest in clear approval of Zekk's antics. Leia glared at her husband. Anakin and Tahiri took that as their cue to follow everyone else out of the Jedi Temple where the wedding had taken place. Besides the entire Solo and Skywalker families, all the Jedi were in attendance from Yavin 4 and the rest of the galaxy. Kirk and Natie sat in the back, Kirk in his usual Jedi garb and Natie fashioned her own wedding appropriate slacks and shirt.

The rest of the Jedi sat on the far side of the temple. Kyp Durron, Corran Horn and Mirax Horn, Kennth Hammer, and the other primary Jedi Masters sat towards the front of the rows. The younger Jedi Knights including Tenel Ka and her two children with Yuuna and a robed Vua Rapuung, Raynor Thul, and other young Jedi Knights from Jaina's academy days were all in attendance. It was nostalgic to see them all there, and Jaina had felt some pang of guilt that she wasn't able to share it with Jacen. He would have liked to have seen everyone from when they were trainees at Luke Skywalker's academy.

She gave a small sigh that could only be heard by one person. Zekk reached over and grasped her hand. "Hey, he's probably throwing a bash to celebrate wherever he is."

Jaina smiled at Zekk's attempt to cheer her up, "You know, don't you?" She said, giving him a sadly knowing look. Zekk nodded, understanding where Jaina's thoughts were going.

"He's not here anymore, right? His ghost talked to me for a while, but he's gone now." By the end she wasn't even questioning the fact.

"Jacen Solo is gone, but I happen to know where his force presence went," Zekk answered calmly and almost wistfully. "You'll always be close together."

Jaina gazed into his green eyes questioningly and then decided to let things lie when Zekk didn't elaborate. Instead her ears picked up the argument of her parents that was already brewing. _Oh, force, here we go again._

"Han, this is a wedding, you're not supposed to interrupt it," She shook her head.

"Aw, come on, Princess," Han protested, almost pouting like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I wanted this to be special, not a joke, "She said firmly. Han sighed and then gestured with his head to where Jaina was standing, a broad smile on her face. "Take a look at how unhappy Jaina is."

Leia looked over just as Jaina turned her own head, raising an eyebrow in question at her parents. Leia had to relent. "She looks happy enough." Han brought his arm around Leia's shoulders.

"I don't know if that quite covers the feeling I'm getting," Han said with his famous grin. Leia scrutinized her husband carefully.

"Are you turning Jedi on me this late in the game?" Leia arched her brow. Han gasped in mock horror and leaned back his chair, pointing a finger at himself.

"Who me?" He laughed with his usual confidence, "Nah, I've just got the instincts of a smuggler," He smirked, "A good blaster at your side beats having a lightsaber."

"So I've heard," Han turned to find Luke standing there with a serious look on his face and his arms folded across his chest. "You mind telling me why Jaina and Zekk couldn't let me finish the vows?" Leia was about to reply but she noted that the expression in Luke's eyes was one of amusement not annoyance.

"Let them have their fun, Luke," Han said, though he too knew that Luke wasn't being serious. It was just nice to have all the children together for a change, and have them smiling at something rather than trying to struggle to fight it out. The feeling was apparently mutual because Leia sighed and then smiled at her brother and then stood up.

"I've got to get going to set things up for the party," Leia shot a look at Han, "This time I'd like to have things go as planned." She then walked out of the Temple, leaving Han and Luke to exchange glances and then Han shrugged.

"She's got her priorities, what am I supposed to do?"

"Nothing," Luke said with a laugh. "Leia doesn't budge when she's like this."

Han gave a gruff laugh, "Don't I know it. I've been married to her, if you haven't noticed."

Luke gave a heartfelt laugh, "Oh, I noticed alright. Even before you two finally admitted it."

Han jawed for a minute, "Hey, you didn't exactly go right for the kill with Mara either."

"That's because he would have died in the process," A warm but naturally edgy voice said from behind. Luke shrugged as Mara appeared at Luke's shoulder with a stern look in her eyes. She folded her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"And what do we find so funny and secretive, I'm so dying to know," Mara looked from Han to Luke and back again but then laughed. "I see some of us will never grow up." She then grabbed Luke's arm and pulled him away to where Ben was waiting at the entrance to the Temple.

"I resent that remark!" Han called but they were already gone.

* * *

Miko raised his head slightly and then barely had the time to duck as laser grazed the hairs on the top of his head.

"Kriff," He muttered and let loose a string of shots. Matek was already out in the open. Frontal combat was Matek's specialty with blasters and the smuggler wasn't anywhere close to being an amateur either. Matek rolled into a kneeling position and shot two clear shots into the skulls of his enemies. Miko then took the distraction as his chance to leap from behind the rubble with his lightsaber drawn. With two clean strokes, he felled the remaining enemies.

As he shut down his blade, Miko glanced down that the dark armor. "I knew this was bad." He lifted his comlink. "I really didn't want to call in the favor, but it looks like I haven't got a choice."

He nodded to Matek, who swiftly fired the finishing shots into the bodies before they all lay completely still.

* * *

As if Leia had willed it herself, everyone showed up on time for the party and no one, according to Han's terminology "turned up uninvited."

As the band played their opening music, Jaina stepped into the center and used the force to amplify the volume of her voice. "Welcome to everyone from over the galaxy. To Members of the New Republic, Jedi Order, and to those coming from all over the galaxy, we thank you all for coming to celebrate this day with us." Jaina sighed inwardly: her mother had insisted that Jaina make a formal welcome speech for the sake of the representatives that had come from all over the galaxy. Jaina briefly wondered if the representatives had come simply for the sake of being welcomed to events like weddings.

"Thank you all again for coming and now I would like for Han Solo to please come to the center of the dance floor," Jaina smiled. Despite what some might think of her personality, she had looked forward to the time when she'd get to do a father and daughter dance. Han walked over to the dance floor. Since the ballroom was fancy, it didn't have a designated center but the tables had formed a semblance of one.

Zekk watched Jaina dance with her father with a smile on his face. It was nice to see her so relaxed for a change. She might not have shown it outwardly to anyone else, but Zekk knew, even without the force or looking at Jaina's face, that this was a hard moment for her. There would be another dance with Anakin, and then with Zekk. He was sure that Jaina, who probably wouldn't even admit it to herself, wanted to have a dance with Jacen too. Zekk could only hope that the thought of missing her twin wouldn't crush Jaina on a day that was supposed to be joyous rather than pain filled.

"I think your brother wants his turn," Han said with a glance over at Anakin, who was sitting at the table talking with Tahiri, but had stolen a few glances of his own towards the center of the dance floor. Han grinned, "It's okay if you want him to cut in."

"I hope so," Jaina said with an equally 'Solo-ish' grin. "I wouldn't put it past Anakin to purposely lose in a fight."

"Who said he had to purposely lose?" Han asked defensively. Jaina let go of Han and gave him a knowing nod.

"Go sit down, Dad," She said in a bemused tone. Han huffed, still wearing a mock injured look, which eventually changed as he gave Jaina a kiss on the cheek.

"Have fun, okay?" Han then went to sit down where he was now introduced to several newly elected members of the New Republic Council by Leia. Han inwardly groaned. After so many years, he'd gotten used to not having to attend formal meetings but now he had to listen to political banter at his daughter's wedding. _I'm getting up the minute there's cake, _He thought, knowing it was a good excuse to get away from the discussions.

Anakin had already begun his dance with Jaina and had sensed her unease long before the party, now it was only more obvious. Though he knew that it was best to let things lie since Jaina seemed to be handling thing well enough on her own.

"You know, don't you?" Jaina said, catching Anakin's blue eyes as they wandered for a moment. He focused his attention on Jaina.

"That you wish Jacen was here?" Anakin asked gently, "I know because I feel the same way. Only the force really would know why he wouldn't be." He glanced over at Zekk, who was carefully trying to look like he wasn't watching Jaina but to she and Anakin it was blatantly obvious that he was.

"Zekk really cares about you, you know," Anakin said, giving a small nod in Zekk's direction, to which Zekk blinked, realizing that Anakin had found out that Zekk's supposed inconspicuous spying.

Jaina raised her brow and then lowered it as she smiled, "I know."

Anakin nodded his head to Zekk, who nodded in understanding before starting over to where the brother and sister were dancing, "Then you should let him in to help you. It's only worse when you try to shoulder these things on your own."

Jaina tried to get a feel for Anakin's own feelings on the subject but as usual Anakin's mental and emotional barriers were far stronger than anything Jaina had ever faced. "You're still hurt over it too." Jaina pointed out. Anakin shrugged as Zekk stopped next to Jaina's shoulder.

"I'm used to being hurt, you're not," Anakin said, his voice pausing naturally to make the clear distinction between his two statements. Jaina watched as Anakin walked back to his table where Tahiri was waiting and immediately began asking him a number of questions. Jaina decided it was best to let Tahiri handle Anakin's stubbornness since the younger woman was much better at it than Jaina ever had been. Jaina's specialty had been reading Jacen's thoughts not Anakin's.

Zekk lightly touched Jaina's arm and brought his arms around her waist, "I don't plan to let this get you down, at least for now you're only allowed to smile." He grinned mischieviously at Jaina, who frowned for a second before laughing at the simple ridiculousness of what Zekk was saying.

"For now," She agreed and then leaned on his shoulder. After a few minutes others began to join the newly wedded couple on the dance floor. Han and Leia were one of the first and the other Jedi slowly followed. Jaina was amused by the sight of Raynor and Lusa dancing since she took up quite a bit of space on her own, but she couldn't tell if it was funnier that Raynor couldn't seem to stop blushing furiously or that he couldn't keep a steady dancing beat.

Wynn turned her head in surprise as James stood timidly in front of her. "Do you… um, want to dance?" He asked, smiling to hide his own embarrassment. Wynn nodded and quickly got over her surprise and followed James to the dance floor. After a few minutes of James' clear show of dancing skills: his well timed footsteps and his graceful twirling of his partner. Wynn finally decided to ask the question that had been on her mind since he'd asked her to dance.

"Okay, spill, where did you learn to dance?" Wynn asked, giving James a suspiciously humored look. He arched his dark eyebrows.

"I had a sister, a brother who doesn't know how to dance with his sister is an embarrassment," James stated plainly. Wynn looked confused and wrinkled her nose the strange statement.

"Who taught you that one?" She asked. James smiled with some bemusement to himself and some to Wynn as his smile turned wry.

"My sister."

* * *

"Aha, yay!" Valin ducked under a table and then scurried across the dance floor before hiding once more behind another table. An exhausted Tenel Ka followed, sighing after her overly energetic son. He had enough energy to blow the entire planet of Coruscant off its hinges with one burst.

"Hee, hee, wah!" Valin ran smack into the legs of a tall bothan dressed in his formal military attire. Tenel Ka came at a run, her training of late had paid off. She scooped Valin up and bowed apologetically at the bothan officer.

"I apologize for my son," Tenel Ka said. The bothan smiled and ruffled Valin's hair. Leia turned her head to look at the bothan as he regarded Valin with interest.

"Not at all, Your Majesty, I'm quite fond of children myself," Leia crossed over, as the realization of who the young bothan officer was.

"Colonel Iblis, it's an honor to have you here, I wasn't sure if you were coming," Leia said, extending her hand. Tenel Ka turned to look at Leia in confusion.

"My apologies, Queen Tenel Ka Djo," The bothan said, inclining his head. "I didn't introduce myself. I'm Colonel Gallender Jesek Bel Iblis," He bowed to Tenel Ka and then did likewise to Leia. "It's an honor to meet two of my father's most well respected leaders and friends."

Tenel Ka gazed at the bothan, whose penetrating dark blue eyes rotated in their sockets to look at her in turn. "Oh, yes, my father has spoken quite highly of you, Your Highness, he says your ascension was one of the greatest changes in the Hapan Colonies to happen in many years."

Tenel Ka felt herself grow embarrassed but she managed to use the force to calm herself and keep herself from blushing fervently at the sudden barrage of compliments. As the son of the famed war general, Garm Bel Iblis, Gallender was fairly young as well as seasoned in his military experiences. It was hard to imagine that a bothan could have respect for the Hapan Queen in such a short amount of time of her rule.

"I have heard of your loss, my sincerest condolences," Gallender said, his blue eyes empathetic to both Leia and Tenel Ka. He looked down at Valin and then back up at his mother. "To grow up without one of your parents is most unfortunate. You have my support, if you need anything, I shall be ready to offer my services." He gave a stiff formal bow to Tenel Ka who responded with a formal nod.

She let her strain evaporate long enough to offer a response, "I thank you for your offer, Colonel Iblis," Tenel Ka felt Valin's arms on her arms as they waved frantically in an attempt to break free once more to the freedom of running through the party's tables. "I am grateful for any support you may offer." She then nodded as she placed Valin down on the ground. No sooner had she done so than the little two year old was off, his arms spread in a mock airplane gesture and making zooming noises through his teeth.

"Dahahahahahaha!" He dove under a tray of trays that a waiter was carrying and then skidded to a stop in front of another set of feet. This time the gentle hands that scooped him up were more familiar. The brown haired man gave a nod to Tenel Ka that she understood as 'Go talk, I'll watch Valin.' With a grateful smile in the direction of the icy blue eyed man, she turned back to talk to Iblis, who had taken a great interest in talking about the recent changes in Hapan politics.

"Is it true that you have reformed the government to include a Jedi Council?" Gallender asked, his night sky blue eyes widening in excitement.

"Yes, as I am a Jedi and Jacen was too, we decided it would be proper to include Jedi in the governmental decisions." She noted to herself that she had neglected to mention who Jacen was but the bothan seemed not to notice.

"I have heard that you now have temples built all over Hapes as well," Gallender asked with a natural curiosity that Tenel Ka found strange in a bothan.

"Many Temples have been built, there is also one next to the palace," Tenel Ka said plainly. She had had so many negative responses to the changes she'd made on Hapes that this was a nice change in tune.

"Fascinating, simply incredible that such changes would come about," Gallender said, shaking his head in admiration. "I quite admire your efforts, Your Highness, they are something to be proud of."

Tenel Ka nodded, now prepared for the bothan's generous nature, "I thank you for your compliments on behalf of my family and my people."

* * *

Anakin watched Tenel Ka continue to talk with Colonel Iblis while Anakin occupied himself with sitting Valin in Anakin's lap and letting the small boy play with his lightsaber. Since Valin's grip wasn't quite defined, there wasn't a risk of the boy turning the blade on. Tahiri came back to the table and watched as Anakin showed Valin the different parts of the lightsaber. There was a natural feeling about Anakin when he spent time with Valin and Rose. It was as though he was already connected with the two children in ways that Tahiri couldn't even begin to understand. As he played with Valin's hands, moving them to the beat of the song, the boy began to laugh.

"Anakin funny!" He squealed. Tahiri had to shake her head at that. Sometimes it was unbelievable how many hidden talents Anakin Solo had, even Tahiri didn't grasp the surface of his capacity. Maybe that was why the kids found comfort in Anakin's presence: they too had untapped potential and Anakin, more than anyone, understood the difficulties that came with the weight of strength in powers like the force.

Tahiri turned as Anakin caught her eye, a thoughtful as well as inquisitive look in his ice blue eyes. If there was a subtext, Tahiri barely got the gist of it from his expression but she shrugged in response. He smiled in a knowing way, she knew he'd elaborate later, or at least she hoped he would. Because right now she was confused by the apparent significance of the look he'd given her.

Natie sighed and finally turned to Kirk, who had been watching the dance floor with a look of apprehension. She stood up and motioned for him to do the same.

"Come on, Kirk, you've been staring at the dance floor for too long, let's go," She held out her hand, amused that she was the one who had to make the move to ask him to dance and not the other way around.

"I don't feel like it," Kirk said, averting his gaze to his plate, which had long been empty since the dinner course had been served. Natie grabbed his arm but he remained glued to his seat.

"Why not?" She questioned, folding her arms across her chest as if in defiance of his response. He twitched slightly before answering.

"I… don't know how to dance," He lowered his gaze to his knees but he looked up when Natie grasped his hand in hers.

"You don't need to know how to dance to enjoy a little music, come on," She finally heaved him to his feet, which he attempted to drag but eventually relented to her enthusiastic strides towards the center of the dance floor. She stopped and Kirk stood with some unease but Natie's confidence seemed to erase any further opposition he posed to dancing.

"Here," She took his hands and placed them on her waist and then put her own arms around his neck. "It's easy, just try to listen to the music and move when you feel the general beat."

Kirk moved slightly at each sound but still didn't quite get a feel for what he was supposed to be listening for. Natie smiled. "Don't try so hard. It'll come if you just let it."

For some reason, his mouth curled into a grin at that. "What?" She questioned as he continued to grin at her.

"Nothing, you just reminded me of my Jedi training lessons just now," He then used the force to sense the motions of the musicians and in turn his own movements were now moving with the beat.

Natie caught his brief moment of distance through his eyes and frowned, "Using the force to learn how to dance is cheating."

Kirk raised an eyebrow, "Says who?"

"Everyone," Natie stated flatly. Kirk didn't buy it and continued to smile with amusement. He knew that she wasn't annoyed about the force use, he knew what where her real irritation came from and he didn't plan on letting her grump about it.

"Even the Jedi?" He asked. She lightly pushed him with a deep seated scowl. "Fed up with me already?"

"No, you just seem to enjoy manipulating the things you know annoy me the most," Natie grumbled. Kirk laughed and continued to use the force to feel the music as he twirled Natie around.

"Am I?" Kirk questioned, his tone indicating his mock disbelief. Natie grunted and as she was about to respond she caught the side of a familiar face.

"Jag Fel?" Natie dropped her hands and stood in shock at the sight of the young man as he turned around.

"Ah, Natie Renders, correct? It's a small galaxy, it seems," Jag noticed Kirk and the Chiss born human inclined his head.

"Kirk Dekim, I'm surprised you haven't vanished off the galaxy's radar once more. My father had quite a lot of trouble finding you in the past decade."

"That was intentional," Kirk said, his tone unusually humored on the subject. Natie noted this and glanced at Kirk for a moment before turning back to face Jag.

"So, how are you connected to Jaina and Zekk?" Natie asked. Jag's posture remained militarily formal as he clasped his hands behind his uniform clad back. The Chiss insignia on his collar indicated his rank as a high class officer.

"I mentioned briefly that there was someone I was unable to dissuade of her own guilt," Jag briefly turned his eyes in Jaina's direction as she slow danced with Zekk. "That person was Jaina Solo. We were part of the same squadron during the Yuuzhan Vong War."

Natie's interest grew, "Really? You two seem like polar opposites to me. I'm surprised you didn't end up killing each other."

Jag's lip curled in a wry smile, "The thought crossed both our minds but only for a short time."

Natie whistled, "That's change for you."

Jag nodded, "So it would seem," He cast another glance in Jaina's direction. Despite his first impressions of her, Jag could no more deny that he actually admired Jaina for her courage through a time of tragedy than he could deny that he had the blood of the Chiss running in his veins. Though one couldn't tell from looking at him, Jag maintained his Chiss heritage and traditions whenever possible.

"You wouldn't happen to know Jag, would you, Kirk?" Natie asked, turning her head, only to see that Kirk wasn't there anymore. Her smile faded and a concerned frown replaced it as she noticed Kirk in back near the doors to the ballroom, his brow furrowed and his eyes dark as he talked into his comlink in a low tone.

"Go, I am sure we'll have time to converse later," Jag said with a sharp inclination of his head at Natie. She gave Jag a grateful nod and ran over to where Kirk was standing, his comlink in hand. His knuckles were white as he clenched the device between his fingers.

"Kirk?" Natie ventured after a few moments of silence between them. His eyes had the same look that she'd come to recognize as his 'grim news and Jedi business' expression. She frowned at him.

"You're not taking off again, not now," She said firmly. Kirk turned his head slightly to look at Jaina, who was laughing and chatting with a group of young Jedi that Kirk could feel had strong presences through the force. He knew that their lives as Jedi were only beginning, it was a feeling that Kirk had had at one point but lost somewhere along the road. Where, Kirk didn't even remember at this point.

"So you're just going to leave," Natie said coldly, her eyes boring into Kirk's, "After everything you've done to change your life, you're just going to go back to the person you were before."

Kirk narrowed his eyes at that comment, "I stopped feeling guilty about my previous life so I could start a new one, Natie. But I never stopped being a Jedi. I'll always be one regardless of whether or not I act on my force potential." He looked over at Luke Skywalker, who was busy trying to keep tabs on his son, Ben, but had little success.

"Because I have the abilities needed to protect the galaxy as we know it, I have to. There's no such thing as never being responsible for what goes on around us. There won't ever be a time when we don't have to be involved because by being alive, we already are a part of the galaxy we were born in."

Natie sighed, "So, I'm not going to be able to convince you that whatever it is you're planning to rush off to, can wait?"

Kirk looked almost sadly at the party but nodded solemnly, "No, it can't. I have a debt to Miko and he found something that could cause a threat to his entire crew and anyone who saw what Miko found."

Natie's eyes found themselves both thoughtful as well as hesitant as they gazed at Kirk, "You mean they found something they weren't supposed to."

Kirk nodded, "That's the basic idea, yes." He glanced over his shoulder and then fingered his lightsaber. It was clear from his expression that Kirk hadn't felt this uneasy in a long time because he almost looked scared, which Kirk never was, not since Natie had met him anyways.

"Then I'll come with you. Two fighters are better than one," She stated. He turned sharply so that he was looking straight into Natie's eyes and he grasped her shoulders tightly as he spoke.

"No, it's bad enough that I'm going to see this, I'll be targeted for it like Miko is," Kirk said firmly and then slowly let his hands slide down to his sides. There was clearly a misgiving about his words because Kirk didn't walk away after he was done making his statement. Natie placed her own hands on Kirk's shoulders when he still didn't move.

"Kirk, I know you don't like the idea of me coming with you, but if we're both in two different places, it'll be hard for us to even start to make the differences I know you want to make. You have to learn to trust that other people know how to handle things as well as you do," Natie tried to peer into Kirk's eyes but he turned his head. "Please, don't pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about."

Kirk returned her gaze finally, "I do. But you have to understand the things I know from experience," His voice became strained as well as stern, "Natie, these types of situations are the ones that caused me to lose every single one of my fellow Jedi in the covert ops. Except for three," Kirk glanced over his shoulder at Corran Horn, who was staring blankly into space.

"He joined later on," Kirk explained as Natie followed his gaze. "That's the only reason he's not dead. The other two… well, you've met Miko. The other," Kirk's eyes flicked away from Corran, who seemed to not notice that his beer glass had been empty for a while. "He was arrested for treason by the Chiss."

Natie flinched at that, "You two don't get along anymore, do you?"

Kirk shrugged, "Seeing as he didn't mind stabbing me in the back, I'd say a little prison time won't hurt him." He then sighed before he continued, "Look, my point is, I've lead a messed up life until recently. Even now, I'm still tainted. It's not something I'm proud of." He stuffed his hands into his pockets, "But you have to trust me when I tell you that the four of us only survived because we were returning blows worse than we received.

"All those who died were probably the ones who could have led a different life afterwards. A life untainted by killing innocent people or using brutal methods. The good and naïve always end up dead."

An explosive sound of wild laughter rang through the ballroom as Valin ran around in excited circles on the dance floor. Anakin stood watching to make sure the two year old didn't hurt himself in his antics but otherwise Anakin simply talked with a sense of relaxation to Tahiri.

Natie grimaced inwardly. So that was the core of Kirk's fears, he thought she was so naïve and good hearted that she was going to end up killed because of it. If she hadn't known Kirk better, she might have taken it as an insult but she knew him well enough by now to realize that he was only saying that because it was true. Natie had shown that she was willing to do things that weren't practical in terms of preserving her life over preserving her morality. Hence what happened in the Chiss prison, because of her decisions, her brothers ended up dead and Kirk was left with some of the guilt because of it.

"If I have to run, I'll run," Natie said confidently, Kirk shook his head.

"No, you won't. I know you won't. If someone was dying and it was a choice between leaving that person and running from the battle, you'd help them."

Natie looked at Kirk with a deep scowl now, "Wouldn't you?"

Kirk sighed, "For me, it's different."

Natie blinked, "How is it different? You wouldn't save them?"

Kirk looked almost pained as he continued, "I'm more willing to do anything to save the person, even if that means destroying every last piece of my morality or simply dying in the process." A stone cold silence fell between Natie and Kirk for a while. The music stopped and everyone clapped before it started up again.

"You wouldn't do that now, would you?" Natie questioned tentatively. He didn't respond. "Tell me, would you?"

Kirk looked at her with clear sadness in his eyes, "If it was you dying, and I had to make the choice… I would do whatever I had to." Natie averted her eyes. Now she knew why Kirk hadn't wanted her to come with him. He wasn't sure if he could keep himself in check if the worst should happen. But there was still something clawing at the back of her mind, a feeling that told her that Kirk wasn't quite aware of how much his morals had changed or how his heart had changed for that matter. She wasn't even sure how she knew, but she did.

"I won't let that happen," Natie said, "And you wouldn't brutally kill someone just to save my life."

"You don't know that," Kirk said, his voice cold with his own self resentment.

"Neither do you," Natie countered, "So what's it going to be? Are we or aren't we in this together." She paused, considering for a moment not finishing her statement but then gave Kirk a long stare before she did, "Or not at all."

Kirk didn't question that she was serious, he felt it. He knew Natie wouldn't joke about those kinds of things. So he finally let himself nod. "We are, but I don't feel like I should be letting you do this."

Natie swatted him on the back. "It's not your choice to make if you want us to be together."

Kirk sighed, taking one more look behind him before the two of them disappeared from the party and made their way to Kirk's small fighter that he'd borrowed while _Blue Rain _was in the process of being returned to him. He could only hope that Natie didn't think she would be immune to the same attacks that were sure to follow their viewing of Miko's findings. Because Kirk knew he himself wouldn't be.

There was definitely something wrong with Miko's discovery and Kirk knew it.

As night fell, the party ended and as everyone headed home, Once at his apartment, Anakin finally felt the stale sensation that had been hidden by the mass of people at the party.

He paused, sensing through the force the clear feeling of tension that flowed through the air. Something was causing the force to almost stammer in its natural flow. What, though, he couldn't tell. He frowned as he looked up at the night sky.

"Anakin?" Tahiri questioned, coming up behind him as he stood on their tiny balcony. "What's wrong?"

He frowned, shaking his head, "I don't know. I just have this really bad feeling that there's something going on that we should be helping to prevent but I don't know what it is."

Tahiri brought her arms around him and he put his arm around her shoulders in response. "It's the same, isn't it? As when you sensed Xillanor was doing something."

Anakin nodded, "I'm not sure it's him exactly, though." He searched through the force, trying to nab a clue but nothing came up except a faint whisper through the force. With a sharp shake of his head, he put the message from his mind. It couldn't be that. But what if it was?

_Then, _Anakin decided with a grimace, _we've got a problem._

Valin stirred and then woke with a wail. Tenel Ka sat up and immediately went to her son, cradling him in her arms, sending calming feelings through the force that Valin seemed to be completely oblivious to. She sighed, knowing that there weren't very many things that could calm Valin when Tenel Ka didn't know the source of whatever was bothering him. There was also the chance that it was simply Valin's confusion over a dream. There were many possibilities of what could upset a two year old as the young mind was too fragile and undeveloped to make sense of the things an older child or teenager might.

Tenel Ka felt out with the force, but was unable to pinpoint where Valin's mind was at the moment. His thoughts were so scattered that it was a wonder that the toddler seemed to understand the galaxy well enough for his age. She decided to improvise by rocking Valin back and forth but he continued to cry and as a result Rose awoke as well.

Tenel Ka sighed and then went over to pick up Rose in one arm and Valin the other. The two cried without any signal that they were going to stop any time soon. After a few minutes Tenel Ka began to hum, the tune came from an old lullaby from Hapes that Isolder used to sing when Tenel Ka was a baby. Isolder had always been the more care oriented of Tenel Ka's parents.

Valin paused in his sobs long enough to listen to the vibrations coming from Tenel Ka and his eyes began to droop. With her brother beginning to quiet, Rose began to drift off as well. Soon both were fast asleep in the arms of their exhausted mother. With a smile and a sigh of relief, the young Queen took her children to their respective beds and then went to her own, sinking into the soft mattress and pillows. Within minutes Tenel Ka was sleeping herself. The wonder of what set Valin's cries off pushed aside for the duration of the night.

Silently in the back of Valin's mind, a dream faded, a dream, that unbeknownst to him, was vision sent by the force.

**A/N- Dun, dun, dun. Well, I'd write more but I'm completely wiped out from working all day. I was at work from nine am until later in the evening because of an event that I was volunteering at. So, I'm beyond exhausted right now. Anyways, thanks for reading and don't forget to review!! =) **


	39. The Scars That Remain

**Chapter 38**

**The Scars that Remain**

_A/N- I am happy that two people have already voted in the OC poll on my profile but there's still time for more people to vote before Namesake ends. I might change the poll characters for the next series so vote now! As it stands, two characters (I'm not saying which ones) are tied for best OC but if everyone else votes, one of them will win (or someone else will tie). _

_PLEASE VOTE IN THE OC POLL FOR NAMESAKE ON MY PROFILE!!!!! YOU CHOOSE WHO WINS!!! _

_That's all that I have for now. Enjoy the chappie and I look forward to your reviews. ;)_

_-Don =)_

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"_Hey, Adrock," He turned to the source of the voice, a scruffy looking young man around Adrock's age. As a fresh pilot out of the New Republic Flight Academy, and as a newly promoted captain, Adrock had little to say to those around him so it was unusual not to get the same gesture in turn. _

"_Yes?" Adrock turned his head slightly to face the man who gave Adrock a friendly clap on the shoulder._

"_What do you say to helping out a friend, eh?" _

"_Frankly, I don't actually know you," Adrock cut in before the man could continue._

"_The name's Mark Lawrence, and I know you, you're Wedge's kid," Mark said, grinning. Adrock remained stiff at the mention of his father's name. It was bad enough that his teachers at the flight academy mentioned his father day in and out as a hero of the Rebellion but to be referred to as "Wedge's Kid" only, was a stab to Adrock's identity._

"_No thanks," Adrock said, turning his head to shove his flight helmet and goggles into his bag before slinging it over his shoulder. He slammed his storage locker shut only to look once again into the dark eyes of Mark Lawrence. "What?"_

"_You hate it, don't you?" Mark said, leaning against the lockers with his arms folded, "The comparison to your father."_

_Adrock frowned, "Wherever did you get that idea?" His tone was deeply embedded with the bitter sarcasm that tinged his insides every time Wedge Antilles was brought up._

"_Oh, you're aware alright. I've been watching your attitude, Adrock, and I know you hate riding on your daddy's sweet old coattails."_

_Adrock's mouth twitched. "I don't ride on anyone's coattails." He slammed his bag down on the bench, glaring blades at Mark, who didn't even flinch._

"_I thought so," Mark said complacently with a glance down at Adrock's bag, "Then you won't mind helping me out." He looked up at Adrock. "So what'll it be?"_

_Adrock considered for a moment and then slowly nodded. "What exactly are you doing?"_

_Mark smiled another one of his calmly thoughtful smiles, "Oh, a little of this and that," He stood up straight, leaving the locker for a moment, "You don't have any qualms about stirring up some trouble, do you?"_

"_Will it get me kicked out of the squad?" Adrock asked skeptically. Mark laughed._

"_Don't get your goggles in a knot, just follow my lead and you won't have to worry about anything being recorded," Mark clapped Adrock on the shoulder._

_The first day was just as Mark had said it would be. Nothing happened except that Mark messed with the flying patterns, and the squad leaders didn't seem to pay it any mind. The second went the same way and Adrock had found that disobeying minor commands had no qualms with him at all. In fact, he found that he liked being the outcast, the rebel, the troublemaker. It was refreshing from the proper life he'd had to live under with his father being Wedge Antilles, war hero and General of the New Republic._

_Mark continued to brief Adrock before each one of their minor rebellions and knowing what Mark was doing seemed to be a comfort, a luxury almost. Adrock could avoid the trouble altogether if he wanted to, but he didn't. _

_It was the end of the week. Adrock closed his locker and turned to see Mark waiting in the usual place. "I think I'm going to pass on the next one, Mark," Adrock said. "One week made me think it'd be best to just listen to the commands."_

_Mark frowned but retained his composure, "Going soft already, Adrock?"_

_Adrock shook his head, "I'm just ready to be responsible."_

"_You are, you're just responsible for your own hide and nobody else's," Mark replied, clapping a hand on Adrock's shoulder. "Trust me; this time, just follow my lead."_

_Adrock frowned, "You're not going to tell me what we're doing?"_

_Mark laughed, "What's the fun in that?" He smiled and started out of the locker room. "Tomorrow will be great, Adrock."_

"_Shoot! Now!"_

"_Adrock!"_

"_Do it, Adrock! Push the button!"_

"_Adrock….!!" _

"No!" Adrock sat up, the sweat from being wrapped up in his blankets trickled down his face and back. His neck glistened with the sticky sweat that had rolled from his hair. He heaved a heavy sigh and then turned so his feet were on the floor and he held his head in his hand.

"_Murderer! You killed your one of your fellow pilots!"_

"_You think this is a joke?"_

"_Playing games like this is exactly why you're not material for the Rogue Squadron."_

"_You're never going to be like your father."_

Adrock lifted his eyes, they were dark and haunted with one word. _Traitor._

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Anakin silently stood at the balcony of his and Tahiri's apartment, the early morning breeze was already starting to set in and it sent ripples through his hair as well as made him look somewhat winded. He clasped his hands behind his back, letting his current force relaxation technique run through his entire body. After failing to fall asleep long after Tahiri had herself, he had taken to standing at the balcony with his mind in as much disarray as his hair.

"Peaceful is it not," A voice said from behind Anakin. "The morning is always a mystery to those who do not seek it out. But to those who do," The figured nodded in a calm affirmation, "They find serenity."

Anakin turned his head, "I take it Tenel Ka didn't want you around."

The Yuuzhan Vong's mouth curled into what Anakin interpreted as a smile, "On the contrary, she simply found better company in another protector."

Anakin gave a wry smile, "I think that's the same thing."

Vua Rapuung shrugged: a gesture he had no doubt learned while on Zenoma Sekot, and resumed a contemplative stance at Anakin's shoulder. "You know, your ways are not unlike the most noble and honorable of the Yuuzhan Vong. My clan was opposed to the destruction of your galaxy, yet all voices were silenced. We have long forgotten what it was like to coexist among others."

Anakin thought for a moment, the words only now sinking in. Had Vua Rapuung's clan succeeded in convincing their leaders not to attack the galaxy hosting Anakin's friends and family, there would have been many lives that would never had died. Yet, it seemed somewhat odd to think that the war might not have happened just because of the actions of a few Yuuzhan Vong that were opposed to the idea.

"War is honor," Vua Rapuung continued, "I'm sure you understand this, Anakin Solo. That we must fight to preserve what will carry us into the future, not to destroy it."

Anakin nodded with a sigh, wrapping his arms around him, "I wish everyone thought like you, Vua Rapuung."

The Yuuzhan Vong took his turn to look thoughtfully optimistic, "Perhaps with your help, Anakin Solo, someday they will."

Anakin remained silent once more and then nodded, "Let's hope you're right," he then looked over at the blue-gray skinned skeletal alien, "Just out of curiosity, who's protecting Tenel Ka?"

"Do you trust my judgement, Anakin Solo?" Vua Rapuung asked, lifting his eyes to regard Anakin carefully. He nodded slowly.

"Then know that she is good hands and that is all you need to know," Vua Rapuung's response brought Anakin to a brief bout of laughter, that was lost on the Yuuzhan Vong warrior. The warrior would never understand how Jedi-like the answer he'd given to Anakin was.

"Anakin?" Tahiri's drearily sleepy voice called. Vua Rapuung then inclined his head to Anakin.

"And now I leave you two." Vua Rapuung then walked back towards the entrance to the apartment.

Anakin nodded, "Just out of curiosity, how did you get into the apartment?"

The Yuuazhan Vong gave Anakin a strange look, "How else does one enter a home, I used the door."

Anakin blinked and then chuckled, "Right. May the force be with you, Vua Rapuung." The fact that Anakin could and couldn't at times feel the Yuuzhan Vong warrior through the force had gone over Anakin's head.

"And you, my friend," Vua Rapuung said with another rare show of what Anakin took to be the closest show of affection that a Yuuzhan Vong could express, Then the warrior was gone.

"How did he get in here?" Tahiri questioned, coming up behind Anakin, who smiled in a bemused way, as though enjoying an inside joke.

"He used the door," Anakin replied simply. The whole meaning, of course, was lost on Tahiri. When she continued to look confused Anakin brought his arm around her shoulders and then shook his head, "Never mind."

"You didn't fall asleep last night," She said finally. Anakin looked at her, asking the question with his eyes rather than voicing it. "I don't sleep well either when you're not there."

"But I was there for most of the night," he replied quietly.

"You were, but I could hear everything you were thinking through our bond," She answered, "When you're as strongly invested in emotions as you are, Anakin, it comes off strongly to everyone around you."

"Sorry," He said with a sincerely troubled expression. The whole reason he'd not moved was to not wake her up. When had finally gotten up, it was because he'd spent the whole night awake and it was already the time of the morning when he would have woken up anyways.

"I'm not mad," Tahiri said with a sigh, "I just wish you'd tell me when you're upset."

Anakin didn't bother to ask how she knew he was upset, "I'm just worried about everything that's been happening around us." Tahiri nodded.

"I am too, so why hide it?" She regarded him for a moment before slipping her hand into his. Anakin felt her shift his hand so he felt it resting on her stomach. He started when he felt the small and almost barely noticeable life presence there through the force.

He looked into Tahiri's eyes with a stunned expression as his hand slid down to his side. "Wait, you're not-?"

She nodded, "You felt it, didn't you?"

"Still," Anakin said with his breath almost heavy with his nervous energy, "It's…" He looked down at the floor. Tahiri shrugged.

"We made a choice, Anakin," She smiled at him, "I can't honestly say I regret it."

He looked up abruptly, "I'm not saying I do because I'd be lying to both of us," Anakin shook his head, "I'm happy, I really am." He held his hand out and then paused before Tahiri nodded. He touched the same place on her stomach and once more felt the small life forming there. With the force presence already beginning there, Anakin felt something strangely comforting about it. He had just felt the beginning of a life, a life he'd helped to create. Had Jacen felt the same way when he found out? Well, maybe not exactly since he'd fainted upon first hearing the news, but Anakin was sure that Jacen felt something of the same sentiment Anakin was feeling right now.

"Any idea if it's a girl or boy?" He asked, with a grin almost giddy with excitement. Tahiri shrugged.

"No, and it doesn't matter," She looked down and then back up at Anakin. He nodded and hugged her just hard enough that she would get how he was feeling but gently enough that he didn't hurt the barely formed life in her stomach.

"No, it doesn't," Anakin assented. "But we do need to get ready for our wedding." Tahiri blinked.

"Oh force, I almost forgot about that," She said. Anakin laughed and received a punch on his arm for his lack of effort to suppress his obvious humor at Tahiri's brief moment of forgetfulness.

"Hey, I'm not the one who forgot his birthday," Tahiri said defensively, "Twice."

Anakin stifled his laughter with a grin and gave Tahiri a kiss on her head, "I think we both have our share forgetfulness."

"Right," Tahiri said skeptically with a roll of her eyes, "I actually had an excuse, I was thinking about this," She indicated to her stomach once more. Anakin frowned but not seriously.

"I had stuff on my mind those two times too, the Yuuzhan Vong were ravaging the galaxy," He protested, his anxieties over the issue now surfacing, "What was I supposed to be thinking? My birthday was more important than fighting against the Yuuzhan Vong?" He shook his head and clenched his fists. "They're now our friends too, I don't even know what to think anymore."

Tahiri touched his arm, "Anakin, I was joking."

He nodded, "I know. It's just a part of my past I'd rather not rehash."

"Then we won't. You don't have to, at least not right now," Tahiri replied soothingly. For a minute neither of them said anything. It was going to be difficult to simply put aside everything that had happened in the Yuuzhan Vong war and everything else that had happened as a result of the war. Those types of memories didn't fade, even if the strongest mind tried to suppress them, it wouldn't completely get rid of the remaining pieces of the loss and the pain that would linger at the edges of their minds.

He calmed himself with another force relaxation technique enough to straighten up and smile, "Come on, we should be getting ready or my mom'll have a fit."

"Our mom," Tahiri corrected with a grin, Anakin had to laugh at that. "But yes, we should."

"Are you ready for this?" Anakin asked as they walked back to their bedroom. She snorted at him.

"Please, Anakin, I've been ready for this since the day I met you," He had to arch his brow at her response. At his skeptical expression she sighed, "Fine, not that long but it's pretty close."

Anakin smiled thoughtfully, "I don't know, I know for me it was pretty hard not to spend time with you after you made such a big first impression."

Tahiri shrugged, "What can I say? I'm good with debuts." Anakin kept his amusement to himself this time but when he caught her staring at him curiously, he then laughed.

"You said you didn't want me laughing," Anakin explained to her unasked question. She frowned.

"I didn't say I didn't want you laughing, I just don't want you laughing at _me,_" She said, folding her arms across her chest and raising an eyebrow. Anakin nodded with a mock serious expression.

"Distinction duly noted," He replied he said with another laugh before he flashed his Solo grin. Then they both went to get ready for Leia when she came to inspect the young couple. For once, Anakin didn't care one bit how nit-picky his mother was going to be.

* * *

"Kirk, I didn't expect you to respond that fast," Miko said as Kirk disembarked from his ship with Natie close behind him. "But that's probably better. You should get a look at this." Miko gestured with his blaster towards the piles of corpses that Miko and Matek's crews had compiled.

Kirk walked over and crouched down, eye balling the closest pile and using his force sense to get a feel for the environment. "They were killed with lightsabers,"

Miko nodded, "That's what I thought too," He crouched down next to Kirk. "What do you make of the method?"

Kirk sniffed slightly, his nostrils burning from the odor of the bodies, "Brutal but efficient. Whoever attacked them were skilled killers."

Miko raised his head as Matek came back with his crew, all of them were armed with blaster rifles. "Miko, we found something else." Miko stood up immediately and then waved to his crew.

"You guys stay here with Kirk," Miko then followed Matek to the far end of the rubble and the charred ashes of the buildings. Only skeleton outlines of most of them remained. Something else had hit the far end of the planet, other than the lightsabers. It was too big for lightsabers or blasters to have done on their own.

Kirk frowned as he ran his fingers over the Vongcor's body, feeling the gashes made by the lightsabers.

"It could be something from outside the galaxy or a power like Thrawn's," Kirk turned to face the speaker, a broad shouldered Noghri. The warrior had sharp dark gray eyes and a light grayish blue tunic to match his pants. The warrior's eyes never left Kirk as the Jedi Master spoke. "One could think it was a blaster of such power that caused such damage."

Kirk nodded affirmatively, "I was wondering if I was the only one who thought that."

"No, Master Jedi, you are not," Another voice chimed in from behind the Noghri. Kirk looked at the speaker, this time a Ryn. He flicked his tail as his meditative gaze fell on Kirk.

"I, like Barakakh, see that this is an usual outcome for a simple attack, even by the most powerful means of aerial weaponry, this is a devastating outcome." The Ryn looked to the Noghri, Barakakh for confirmation and the warrior nodded, his arms folded across his broad chest.

"You must understand though, Master Jedi," Barakakh said, "Whatever this is, must be kept hidden until we know what it is."

"It will threaten all of us as well as our homeworlds," The Ryn finished, and flicked his eyes towards the returning scouts along with Matek and Miko.

Miko gave Kirk a grimace, indicating that the news wasn't good. "Bad news, looks like we're going to have to make a run for it," Miko shifted his blaster rifle strap further up his shoulder.

Natie looked from Matek, to Miko and then at Kirk. "Why? What happened?" She waited while all three men exchanged glances. Like Kirk, Miko could use the force to communicate mentally but Matek and Natie were left to patiently wait until Miko elaborated.

"We found out who blasted Kessel," Miko said. "And he's still here." Almost as if to prove the point a roar of engines was heard over Miko's voice as a Wolf-like ship closed in from a short distance.

* * *

"Zekk."

"Mmmhhmmghh."

"Zekk, come on, we've got to get ready."

"Five more minutes."

"I mean now," Jaina sighed when Zekk, now her husband as of the day before, continued to blissfully snore on. Yes, snore, Zekk Zahn, the love of Jaina's life snored. She grunted as she reached under the mattress and upended it onto the floor.

Whump. "Ow, what the force did you do that for?" Zekk asked indignantly as he stood up and rubbed the back of his head. "I was going to get up."

"You weren't exactly being responsive," Jaina said, folding her arms across her chest. "Besides, do you want my mom's wrath to come down on your head?"

"Uh," Zekk said, his mouth hanging open for a second and then he quickly shut it.

"I didn't think so," Jaina said with a wry smile and then jerked her head in the direction of the closet. "Get ready. Mom wants everyone to be at the Temple in half an hour."

"Boy, I would not want to get on your bad side," Zekk said, shaking his head. Jaina raised her brow, a look Zekk couldn't help but think was adorable despite that she was doing it to make him feel guilty about his comment or feel intimidated, whichever came first, and Zekk had the feeling it was the latter.

"It's a good thing I decided to marry you, then," She said with a bemused smirk. She then went over to her own closet to dress. After the wedding, Leia and Han had presented Jaina and Zekk with a new apartment as a wedding gift in addition to a new ship from Han for Jaina to tinker with as she pleased. Jaina had been tinkering with it since the moment Han had given it to his daughter. There was almost a sad look in Han's eyes as he shook his head and said, "My daughter, married. I guess that makes me an old man and the _Millennium Falcon_ a relic."

It was almost strange to consider that at one point Han had stood in the same place as Zekk had. Han had been a young man at one point, a smuggler just fresh out of his years of crime and now a war hero getting married.

He had once been a newly wedded man, probably unsure of the future as well as eagerly awaiting it. Han had raised three children, he had been a father with no parental experience and he had done his best to raise Jacen, Jaina, and Anakin with Leia at his side. Both of Jaina's parents had once been insecure teenagers just barely making the jump between teenage-hood into adulthood. Once there, both of them stood to look over how far they'd come and how many trials they'd endured.

Luke was no different. He too had once been a youth living on Tatooine with nothing to his name but that of a moisture farmer. He hadn't known his mother or father and when the time came to meet his father, Luke had been forced to bring his father back from the dark side only to see his father die before his very eyes.

Then he met Mara. Mara Jade, the former Emperor's Hand and the last person who would want anything to do with Luke Skywalker. Through time alone had Luke convinced Mara to become part of the New Republic and then much later, become his life partner.

As the thoughts flooded through Jaina mind, it became exceedingly clear how strange it must be to Leia and Han, who had watched Anakin, Jaina, and Jacen grow up from day one, from days when they had to be breast fed, to their first days as young Jedi trainees, to their years as Jedi Knights, and now to the days of their weddings. Anakin, being the youngest, was the most surprising of all, even to Jaina. She had been two years old when her younger brother had been born and Jaina remembered little of him then except that Anakin had been a quiet baby from the moment he was an infant to the time he began to talk.

Tinkering with mechanics had been a talent of Anakin's, so Jaina spent more time with him than Jacen had. But both of the twins were Anakin's second parents throughout most of his life. When Leia and Han had been away at any point, it fell to Jaina and Jacen to help Anakin along.

But it was different now. Anakin was as much an adult as the next person. He was getting married to the one person who had managed to connect with him completely. Anakin had always been quiet and reserved, unwilling to talk with anyone no matter who they were. He had believed that his namesake was a curse, and only a curse. Much of that changed when Tahiri Veila entered Anakin's life. Now he wouldn't go anywhere without her.

Jaina smiled to herself. "Jay?" She turned.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked, tying his tie as he walked over. "You've been smiling for the past five minutes."

Jaina shook her head, "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Zekk questioned, finishing tying his tie and then folding his arms across his chest. "Come on, humor me. What's got you in such a good mood?"

Jaina raised her eyebrow, "You make it sound like it's a crime to be happy."

Zekk groaned, "Jaina, come on. Please?"

Jaina smiled, "Oh, alright. I was just thinking about how strange it is that Anakin is getting married and that not too long ago the person he is now wouldn't have even been conceivable in our minds."

Zekk thought for a moment and then nodded with an understanding smile, "Yeah, I know what you mean. Even though I didn't see him when he was younger, I know he's grown up a lot in the past years I have known him. He's more like a brother to me than ever before."

"Good, because he is your brother in law," Jaina said and then checked her chrono. "Well, are you ready to see Anakin set off?"

"More or less," Zekk said with a low sigh. "You seem calmer than I am."

Jaina gave a wry smile as they walked towards the door. "You should have seen me when I heard Anakin was moving in with Tahiri."

Zekk's laughter could be heard all the way down the hallway as they exited their apartment building and got into the landspeeder to drive to the temple.

* * *

Ikrit settled himself on the small podium set out for him so everyone could see him from the audience. Zekk stood off to the side, as Anakin's chosen best man.

As Tahiri's foster father, Kam Solusar walked with Tahiri, who wore a green robe that was made of a delicate material and underneath was a pure white dress. Anakin wore a blue robe and a similarly blue suit underneath. He smiled warmly as Tahiri walked down the aisle, his blue bowtie made him look both handsome and silly at the same time to Tahiri. She'd never really seen him as a bow-tie person, but there was a first time for everything.

Once at the end of the aisle, Kam eased his arm out from where it was entwined with his foster daughter's. He gave her a nod before going to sit down where Tionne was. The Solusars, Solos, and Skywalkers all sat together in the front row. Tenel Ka of course sat with the Solos along with Valin and Rose. Vua Rapuung sat in the far back, his hood up so no one could see who he was, but he could see enough to watch the ceremony. Tenel Ka's new protector, turned out to be a Noghri by the name of Hokakh. He was from the same clan as the one that had protected Leia for so long and Hokakh also turned out to be a friend of Vua Rapuung as some Noghri had decided to visit Zenoma Sekot upon discovering its existence.

Hokakh's sharp green eyes scanned the audience around him and never once did his awareness dim or his attention turn from his charges. Anakin had been surprised by the loyalty that the Noghri had shown but accepted it because Anakin knew that Tenel Ka felt safe. Vua Rapuung was also present so Anakin felt more at ease himself when he'd first arrived at the temple.

Now he fixated his eyes and full attention on Tahiri. She gave him a look of confidence before taking his hand in hers. He squeezed her hand to indicate that he'd understood her sentiment.

"We are gathered here to witness the union of two Jedi under the New Jedi Order," Ikrit began, "I have waited a long time myself to see the age where Jedi would be joined not only in their duties as protectors but as lovers of the force and the life it holds. There is nothing more precious than a close bond," Ikrit turned his eyes to focus solely on Tahiri and Anakin. "And I can say that I have seen no closer bond than that of Anakin and Tahiri. From the first day that they rescued me from the Massassi Temple and proved that they were strong in the force as their ancestors, I have seen that they worked together as partners in the force, as Jedi, as friends, and now I have the pleasure of uniting them together for whatever life will bring them as two people who have as much love to receive as they have to give."

Ikrit then paused before continuing, his beady eyes scanning the audience, briefly resting on Leia and Han, and then on Kam and Tionne. "If the bond you share is as strong as I have seen it, I am sure you two will have many years of life ahead that will be filled with joy. Ikrit then turned to Tahiri, "Tahiri, I have seen for myself that you have grown from a talkative young girl into a bright woman. You have supported Anakin from day one. Do you take Anakin Solo to be your life partner under the force?"

Tahiri grinned broadly, "Yes, and you couldn't stop me even if you wanted to."

Anakin suppressed a chuckle as Ikrit turned to face Anakin. "Anakin, I have seen your growth as clearly as I have seen the galaxy change and go from one challenge to the next. You started out a shy boy who feared his heritage would rule him but you've grown into a confident man who decides his own path. A path that crossed with Tahiri: do you take Tahiri Veila to be your life partner under the force?"

"Yeah," He leaned in and kissed Tahiri hard and long before he finished, "I do."

Everyone began clapping and finally Leia lost it and began crying on Han's shoulder. He wrapped his arm around his wife and gave a small smile in Anakin's direction. "That's my son."

* * *

"Duck!" Miko dove behind a large piece of what was once a stone wall of a building. Kirk rolled to the side and drew his blaster and lightsaber simultaneously. Natie had her own blaster out and was hidden behind another chunk of rock.

Blaster fire came from the fire side of the planet and grew heavier with the passing minutes. A laser struck the rock that Natie was hiding behind and she fired back evenly, downing one of the unseen enemies. Through the fog of the rubble clad ground she saw a blue light shoot out of the fog as a figure in a Mandalorian style armor stepped out into the open, a blaster and a lightsaber in hand. The t-shaped mask turned to look at Natie as she peered around the rock.

"Kill them," The cold filtered voice ordered. "But keep one hostage. I don't care who it is," Then the armored figure turned to look over in Kirk's direction where he was firing rapidly, taking down the now visible ranks of armored soldiers in stormtrooper style armor. Then he added, "I'll handle the Jedi."

"Yes, Sir," The commander then signaled with his hand and all the soldiers rushed forward, raining their fire down on the two smuggler crews. The Mandalorian figure put his blaster back into its holster and stepped aside, meeting Kirk's eyes. He lifted his gaze and stepped out from behind his hiding place.

"It's been a while, Kirk," The armored figure said coolly.

"Not long enough, Xillanor," Kirk replied and put away his own blaster before holding his lightsaber out. Without warning Kirk struck out and Xillanor parried swiftly, deftly hitting Kirk on the wrist as if to chide him.

Kirk's eyes flared and with the force he shoved Xillanor back into a nearby rock, but the skilled bounty hunter used the force to soften his fall before he rose to march back to where Kirk stood.

Xillanor's eyes turned as he saw Natie firing with more vigor now and occasionally stole glances in Kirk's direction. Xillanor regarded Kirk before he struck out and their blades locked. "It seems someone cares more about you than you do yourself, Kirk."

Kirk's teeth gritted as he pushed and then landed a blow on the underside of Xillanor's arm where it was unprotected by his armor. The bounty hunter stepped back slightly and then raised his head.

"You've changed, Kirk, I didn't think you'd care about anyone," The bounty hunter took a moment to lower his lightsaber as he looked over at Natie once more. Kirk let out a ragged breath.

"Not enough for me to back out of a fight," Kirk lifted his blade and started forward at a run. Xillanor responded by force shoving Kirk into the same block of wall that Kirk had thrown Xillanor into. Kirk's head hit it with enough force that his head began bleeding. He stood up, his legs shaking before he steadied them. He blinked the blood from his eyes as they flared.

"You're right, that part of you hasn't changed," Xillanor assented with a hint of respect in his tone. Without another moment the bounty hunter leapt through the air and then landed right in front of Kirk, who deflected the first blow, only to be struck by the second. The blade sunk through Kirk's chest and burned. He bit back his pain and then stabbed out hard to strike the bounty hunter hard enough that the helmet went flying to the ground.

Xillanor quickly jerked his blade out of Kirk's chest, leaving Kirk to sink to the ground while the bounty hunter picked up his now scorched helmet from the ground and replaced it on his head. He straightened and then lifted his blade once more with the bluish white blue glowing, illuminating the shine on the visor.

"You will die today, Kirk, I will keep that promise at least," Xillanor then started forward at a sprint. Kirk's head barely moved as he took his lightsaber in his hands and stood up. His dark blue blade wavered and then slipped from his fingers just as Xillanor's blade arrived.

**A/N- Eh, heh, heh. Cliffie. I'm so evil. But I think you'll forgive me since tomorrow will be another posting day. Please review and don't forget to vote the OC Poll on my profile!! =)**


	40. Dark Tide

**Chapter 39**

**Dark Tide**

_A/N- Sorry about the last cliffie. I feel like I was on fluff overload so I needed some conflict to be thrown in. Unfortunately that usually means the chapter ending in a cliffie: my humblest apologies to all of you who are reading this series for my addiction to cliffies (and driving my beta insane)._

_I know I used the word "tide" for one of my other chapters, so this is kind of a build off of that and this title was the only one that seemed fitting. _

_Okee! I'm super happy because the hit count has continued to steadily rise. Unfortunately the review count hasn't gone up at all, so that means that I might still enforce the sending of chapters starting when I get back to college if the review count hasn't gone up at least ten before the nineteenth of February. The ten will not count the following users reviews (as they have already contributed and will be sent the chapters automatically): _**jediluver033**_, _**JediBettyBug**_, and _**jason kent**_. If everyone brings in another reviewer then this should be easy. I think that about covers that topic for now._

_ONCE AGAIN: PLEASE VOTE IN THE OC POLL FOR "NAMESAKE" AT THE TOP OF MY PROFILE PAGE!!!!!_

_**Just a warning: this chapter has some intense violence in it. **_

_Without further ado, I present chapter 39 of "Life and the Force."_

_Thanks for reading!_

_-Don =)_

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Wynn glanced around as everyone filed out of the temple, heading to their vehicles to go home for a short amount of time before the wedding party. Towards the end of the ceremony, James had gotten up abruptly without a word and left the temple. Thinking he simply had to go to the restroom, she didn't pay it any mind. But when he didn't come back, Wynn immediately knew something was wrong.

She stepped across the aisle, taking in one last look before confirming that James had in fact not returned from wherever he'd disappeared to. Wynn's head jerked up as she overheard Tionne Solusar talking to Luke Skywalker.

"I don't know what came over him. He just said he had to leave and just went out of the temple," Tionne said, her own confusion and tension clear. Wynn listened since what Tionne was describing seemed exactly like James' behavior.

Luke furrowed his brow, "He just left? That's not like Kam."

Tionne cast a glance behind her as Wynn approached, "I know, that's why I'm worried."

Luke turned to look at Wynn as well, "What's wrong?"

"Master Skywalker," Wynn said tentatively, "James is missing too. He left midway through the ceremony."

The Grand Jedi Master closed his eyes in concentration and then reopened them, "Neither of them are on Coruscant anymore, that much I can tell." Luke then shut his eyes once more and spent a few more minutes trying to get a feel for either one of the force presences of the two missing people. He shifted as he felt something hit him through the force, his eyes snapped open. He looked sharply over at Tionne, who nodded.

"I felt it too, we need to hurry," She said and rested her hand on her lightsaber. Luke nodded gravely and then waved Kennth Hammer and Kyp Durron over.

"We need to get ready and head out right now, two people are on Kessel and possibly hurt," Luke explained briefly to Kyp and Kennth, who nodded in understanding. Wynn grasped her blaster.

"I'm coming too," She stated and her eyes left no room for argument. Luke simply nodded and left with the small group of Jedi and the one half Chiss in tow.

_I'm not going to let anyone die, not again, _Luke promised silently, though his gut was twisting more than it had in years as soon as he thought the words.

The blue blade flashed forward and Kirk used the force to give him as much cushion as possible. But the blow never fell. Or rather, it didn't even make it to Kirk's chest. He glanced down, blood splattered all over his clothes, but he didn't need the force to know it wasn't his own.

The blade had gone almost completely through the person shielding Kirk. He stood up immediately as he saw the dark hair of a familiar figure in front of him. He caught the figure as he fell backwards,

Two blasts hit Kirk in the arm and he the raised his lightsaber to deflect the rest. His eyes flared, briefly changing from their usual green to a vibrant yellow and black blaze. With a roar, he charged Xillanor from behind, the bounty hunter had been too distracted with another opponent to notice Kirk as he struck out, once, twice, and then Xillanor was on the ground.

"Kirk, stop!" Kirk's eyes cooled long enough for him to turn his head as another figure approached. The white hair and brown hair was unmistakable. Xillanor groaned and then stood up, his armor falling hanging limply from his body as it bled from all sides. A hand touched Kirk's arm.

"That's enough, Kirk," Kam said, pushing Kirk's lightsaber down. Natie ran over and began blasting the troops away before running to tend to the person who had shielded Kirk. He looked over with a deep anxiety ridden in his eyes and body.

"Why the kriff did he have to jump in like that?" Kirk said fiercely. Kam frowned.

"Maybe because you tend to throw away your life like doesn't matter," Kam continued to grip Kirk's arm. His eyes turned abruptly as the snap hiss of a lightsaber sung through the air once more.

This time the blue flashed and knocked Kirk backwards with force enough force that Kirk passed out even before his body hit the rock. Xillanor's visor then turned to Kam. Even though Kam couldn't see the eyes of his opponent, he knew that whoever was behind the visor had enough hatred to kill everyone on Kessel.

"Stay back," Kam warned Natie, who was now carrying James over to where Kirk lay unconscious. She needed no second warning but kept her blaster at the ready.

Matek rolled behind another rock and then fired off two more rounds before leaping out to fire quickly into the fray, not caring how much he got hit in the process. The troops just kept coming and the more he took down before he went down, the better. Matek grunted and then threw one of his six thermal detonators at the mass of troops converging on the small holdout he had with Miko and both of their crews.

The detonator sent bodies flying but the troopers, like robots, kept coming despite missing limbs or missing comrades. Matek swore none too quietly. He pulled out his second blaster and began to fire rapidly before he rolled back behind the rock to reload. He grimaced as he touched his left arm, which was almost numb from being hit by so many blaster shots.

"Blaster bolts," Matek grumbled. He stood up and then was knocked back down again as an explosive blew a few feet in front of him. He scrambled away as the flames bit at his heels. Without any warning a blast struck the place where the troops were marching in garrisons and sent many of them to the ground dead.

Matek lifted his eyes from the carnage to see the orange-red freighter flying overhead. Matek turned his head as Miko clapped Matek's arm. "That's the _Wild Karrde_," Matek breathed. "That's my father's old ship, I thought I left it with him."

"Looks like we've got backup," Miko grunted in obvious irritation, "We were handling things just fine ourselves."

Matek gave a careful glance in the direction of Xillanor, who was still locking blades with Kam. Xillanor pushed Kam over, he rolled back up only to get slashed in the arm. Kam grunted and then charged forth, slashing and parrying with a swiftness that kept Xillanor at bay. Then Xillanor lifted his hands and bolts of lightning struck Kam at close range and Xillanor didn't stop sending the shock waves into Kam until his knees had buckled and he collapsed. Xillanor's eyes then flicked to where Kirk lay unconscious and raised his lightsaber before breaking into a sprint fueled by the force.

"Maybe not so much." Matek said, lifting his blaster and took aim at Xillanor.

* * *

Anakin smiled. He had organized the wedding party so that they could have the party on Yavin 4, where Anakin and Tahiri had first met. It seemed to be the right choice so Anakin and Tahiri had readily suggested it to Leia, who had agreed as well. Luke had helped to arrange for the Temple to be redecorated for the party and the docking bay to be set up as the dance floor. It wasn't the fanciest of settings but it was memorable, and that was the most important thing for Anakin and Tahiri, Anakin knew through their bond, felt exactly the same way.

Now they slow danced to the band that was playing. It was a band that Anakin found was local to Tatooine, Tahiri's home planet, so he had them play instead of the band that had played at Jaina and Zekk's wedding. Tahiri leaned her head on his shoulder, briefly making Anakin start but then he relaxed when he noticed how calm Tahiri's mind and emotions were.

"Anakin?" He turned his head so he could hear her better.

"Yeah?" He said softly enough that she could hear him but no one else could. Tahiri paused for a moment before continuing.

"Are we going to be okay?" She trailed off before and then elaborated when she felt Anakin's initial confusion at her question. "I mean with… you know."

He did know, or at least now he did, what she was talking about. She was worried about the baby. Their child, were they ready to raise it? All these questions that Tahiri's mind was sharing with Anakin's through their bond were the same that had been running through Anakin's since she had told him the news.

"Even if we don't know what to do, we can always ask anyone around us for advice," Anakin replied, his own uncertainty mixed with his sincerity of his words. Tahiri nodded and lifted her head to kiss him on the lips. He returned the kiss and then looked up as Jaina and Zekk stepped onto the dance floor a foot away from Tahiri and Anakin.

"How's the party, Little Brother?" Zekk asked with a cocky grin.

"Great," Anakin gave Zekk a curious look, "Have you been drinking?"

"No," Zekk said, waving his hand in dismissal, "What gave you that idea?"

Anakin and Tahiri exchanged looks and then looked back at Zekk, saying in unision, "You're drunk."

"I swear to drunk I'm not the force," Zekk said, pointing a finger at Anakin before took his arm and steered him away. Anakin gave her a strange look.

"Don't look at me, I look away for one second and then he's all over the drink table," Jaina sighed and then followed her drunk husband towards the food buffet. Anakin turned to look at Tahiri before they both burst out laughing.

"I didn't think he'd get this drunk," Anakin said with a snort. Tahiri raised an eyebrow.

"What do mean _this _drunk?" Tahiri gave Anakin a scrutinizing look, which at their close distance made Anakin fully aware of how strange his statement must have been for Tahiri.

"He's a former lower Coruscant person, Tahiri, he's bound to have gotten drunk a few times in his life."

She continued to give Anakin a skeptical look, "And you would know this… how?"

Anakin smirked, "I'm a Jedi." She smacked him over the head. He winced and then smiled.

"Okay, that was called for."

"I should say so, Mr. I'm a Jedi So I Know Everything," Tahiri said. Anakin gave a low whistle.

"That was an impressive name and you said it in one breath too, I'm truly awed," Tahiri shut up any further comments by kissing him.

"Are you going to shut up or do I have to do that again?" Tahiri asked. He arched his brow challengingly.

"I think I'm game for more talking." Tahiri shook her head but before she could respond Anakin was kissing her this time. He didn't even stop when his parents walked by. The only thing that started him from the kiss was the presence of a furry creature on his shoulder.

"Ah, youth. Vigor in both love and war. Though, truly they are one and the same," Ikrit said, flicking his tail thoughtfully. Anakin turned his head in surprise and nearly jumped in surprise.

"Master Ikrit!" Anakin said, "Sorry, I didn't know you were there."

The furry Jedi Master shook his head, "Not at all, this is your time, of many to come, to enjoy the blissful moments."

Anakin noticed how calmly knowing the Jedi Master's expression was and then sought after the source, "Is there something wrong, Master Ikrit?"

"On the contrary, I think there is something that is right. Namely your new, shall we say, family member?" Ikrit's dark lips curled into an almost smirk and Anakin gave another start before he composed himself.

"You knew?" He questioned. Tahiri looked at Ikrit and then it hit her as well what the small Jedi Master was talking about.

"How?" Tahiri questioned. "I didn't mention it, did I?" She looked to Anakin for confirmation but he shook his head.

"You didn't have to," Ikrit said, "I know you two better than anyone here. I sense even the most well hidden thoughts in the backs of the minds of Jedi. You two more so because I have communicated with you mentally long before we spoke in body." He smiled assuredly at the two, "Not to worry, it is not my news to mention. However, I suggest that you make it present sooner rather than later. Good news is best shared rather than hidden." Ikrit turned his head, "What really indicated it was that I sensed something different about your presence, Tahiri."

Tahiri opened her mouth and then shut it. Ikrit continued, "With two presences instead of one, even if one is small, it is clear to a Jedi when there are more than there should be."

Tahiri exchange a look with Anakin, who was equally as surprised at Ikrit's powers of observation as Tahiri was.

"Master Ikrit," Anakin said in a low tone so no one would overhear, "I don't know if I can ask anyone else about this."

Ikrit's bead shaped eyes rested on Anakin for a moment, "I know what it is you want to know. But I have no powers over the council. If it were my choice, you would have become a Master a long time ago, but it is not. You must approach your uncle, if anyone, for he has the voice you need to vouch for you. I doubt he will refuse."

Anakin's eyes grew serious and cool, "Even in light of my use of force fire?"

Ikrit looked sharply at Anakin, "Force fire? You have force fire abilities?"

Anakin blinked for a moment, surprised that the older Jedi Master knew what Anakin was talking about. "You know about force fire?"

Ikrit's gaze became harsh, "How could I not when one of my most talented and strong witted students went to the dark side because of it."

Anakin's blood chilled at the words but he kept the feelings to himself as much as possible, though he could feel Tahiri's own discomfort at Ikrit's sudden change in tone as well as his words.

"Who was your student?" Anakin questioned.

"A man by the name of Amitai Veila," Ikrit looked at Tahiri, whose face was filled with complete and utter shock. "Tahiri's grandfather."

* * *

Wynn twitched in clear agitation over not knowing what was going on aside from the occasional exchanges between the Jedi around her. They all had clearly felt something through the force, which Wynn barely understood even conceptually, and weren't saying much about it. This alone led her to believe that she was being kept in the dark because something was wrong. If it wasn't, wouldn't they have said something? That or they didn't know anything period. But she knew better. Luke Skywalker himself had decided to go along after searching the force twice. If he was leaving his own nephew's wedding to go on a mission to a planet, then Wynn was sure it had to be serious.

She flicked her eyes to the window where the star were streaking in lines as the ship shot through hyperspace and her fingers ran over the butt of her blaster in nervous circles. Every minute felt like hours and the hours simply felt like wasted energy as she forced her eyes to stay open. She sucked in her breath and then nearly whipped out her blaster when something touched her arm.

"Whoa, hold on there," The smiling face of one of the Jedi looked at her, his hands in the air. "You want to hear me out before you shoot me?" The man clearly had a sense of humor because he continued to smile even when Wynn didn't respond and her face remained impassive, a feat for her. She was so used to being confident and energetic that this state of uncertainty was frightening. His dark brown hair fell neatly across his face. There was something almost strange about the Jedi because he seemed to be more lighthearted than the others.

"I'm Master Kyp Durron, but you can call me Kyp," The man offered his hand and Wynn took it tentatively.

"Wynnessa Fel," Wynn said, "It's Wynn though."

"Not big on long names?" Kyp asked with another broad grin. Wynn shook her head. More and more she was losing her usual sense of optimism, that even the worst of times, prevailed. Right now something felt seriously off.

"Worried?" Kyp questioned as if he had read her thoughts: though it was likely, that since he was Jedi, that he had in fact sensed them at least, even if he hadn't read into her mind directly.

She shifted so she was able to lean back on her chair, her arms folded more defensively in protection of her own current vulnerability than in anger. "I'm just feeling like I should be able to know more about where James is than I actually do."

Kyp looked thoughtful, "Ah," He ran his hand over his stubble, which looked a little ridiculous on the Jedi Master since Kyp still had a youthful face. "Your best friend or boyfriend?"

Wynn considered this and then replied, "Both."

Kyp nodded, "Hard to know everything, really." He leaned back in his own chair, his brown eyes scanning the rest of the Jedi, some of whom were with Luke in the cockpit and the others were meditating in their chairs.

"But you're a Jedi," She pointed out, "Don't you know everything?"

Kyp laughed, "Not even Master Skywalker knows everything, Wynn."

Wynn raised her eyebrow, "Really? But doesn't he know a lot?"

Kyp gave a full body shrug and folded his arms across his chest, "Depends on what you want to know. We all know something but we don't know everything about anything."

Wynn paused before nodding, "I guess," She fell silent and then spoke again, gingerly holding her left arm with the other hand, "But what about knowing about someone you care about? Shouldn't you know that much at least?"

Kyp frowned as he mulled over the question. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, to be honest, I can't relate to the whole love thing. I'm not the kind of person who falls in or vise versa."

"As in nobody would be likely to fall in love with you?" Wynn questioned. Her empathy towards this Jedi Master, who five minutes ago was a complete stranger was now relating to her on the most unexpected of levels.

"Yep," Kyp said, "I don't see why they would anyhow. I mean I haven't exactly been the model student." He cast a furtive glance in Luke's direction.

"I've done a lot of things I regret," Kyp admitted quietly, his tone less energetic than it had been when he first started talking to Wynn. The man now sounded drained, like something had taken all the wind from his lungs and chest and thrown him back a deflated balloon with holes through his body.

"You and everybody else," Wynn said, her eyes turning to look at Kyp. "Why does every Jedi seem to think they've done something wrong?"

"Because we're not perfect," Kyp said simply though his voice seemed tired with the weight of whatever his story was. Wynn doubted he'd tell her exactly what that was. She sighed herself, a calm falling over her. She'd been over this terrain with James many times. He, despite what Wynn tried to tell him, was convinced that he had nothing worth preserving about his life, not to mention he thought his life wasn't worth anything period. It almost seemed ironic that James had turned out to be a force potential and was now training to become a Jedi. Kirk had given James some pointers and so had Anakin but James needed a real teacher, someone more permanent. James was filled with such positive energy when he used the force that even Wynn could feel the difference.

James was a wild spirit if Wynn ever knew one. Kyp seemed lost in his own thoughts so he didn't bother to question the source of Wynn's silence. She preferred it that way since she was beginning to feel some comfort from simply thinking about James. Wynn almost winced as she thought about what Jag or her father would say if they knew that she was dating a person that had nothing to his name, and was in fact a clone. Though Wynn herself could care less if James was a clone, her father and brother might. Wynn knew that her father, Soontir Fel, didn't like clones because they reminded him of Grand Admiral Thrawn, who represented the Chiss of the past, not the future.

"Alright, hang on to your seats, we're almost at Kessel," Kennth called from the front. Luke nodded to Kyp, who stood up and drew back his robe to grip his lightsaber. For some reason, the sight of the weapon made Wynn feel both afraid and comforted at the same time. She'd seen what lightsabers could do when in the hands of the wrong person, as well as what they could do in the hands of a more noble fighter. She glanced out the window as the rocky planet of Kessel loomed in the near distance.

"We're going straight in," Kyp said as he clapped Wynn's shoulder lightly, "You'd better get your blaster out." Kyp in turn had his lightsaber in hand and his finger was over the ignition switch.

Wynn took one last look out the window before she stood up, her blaster already in her hand, "Right."

* * *

Kam lifted his head and pushed his body up to its feet. He pushed back the intense pain he was feeling from the burns. Whoever the masked force user was, the user was strong in the force and knew how to use dark methods. Methods that the Emperor alone knew and had discovered, just he had discovered the dark side itself.

Kam didn't need any second telling to use the force to push his body to its limits to reach Kirk's side before Xillanor did.

Natie was already firing her blaster rapidly, but the lasers did little other than scorch the armor slightly. The rest were deflected by the blue lightsaber in Xillanor's hand. He charged with more speed than Natie had ever seen on any person and Nokir had been faster on his feet than any other alien that Natie had ever met. Now Xillanor had exceeded any speed that Natie had ever seen. If it wasn't a life threatening situation she would have been impressed.

Natie fired at the helmet. Despite that the laser struck Xillanor's exposed neck, the bounty hunter kept running, with his blade lifted above his head. Natie's eyes narrowed and she stood forth, blocking both James and Kirk from view. The blade came down on her shoulder, sending her to the ground. Then Xillanor turned to Kirk and brought the blade down on Kirk's already badly broken body. As the blade went up again, Xillanor's eyes blazed from behind the T-Shaped visor and the blade came down only to meet another blade.

"Back off," Kam demanded, his brown eyes firm and unafraid. He drew back and then slashed two times on Xillanor's arms before parrying Xillanor's attack. He raised his hand and sent a lightning forward but Kam raised his lightsaber and blocked the lightning from hitting his body or anyone else's.

"Die, Jedi," Xillanor snarled and as another bout of lightning went forward, Xillanor's blade arched down and slashed forward, catching Kam straight through the left side of his chest. He let out a sharp gasp before thrusting his own lightsaber forward, only to catch thin air. Xillanor slashed once more, and then ran his blade straight through Kam.

As Kam dropped a roar sounded from below as Kirk stormed forward, his eyes now completely yellow in color. He smashed his blade on Xillanor, taking the bounty hunter down on the head with a single strike and then stabbed at the fallen bounty hunter, who rolled to avoid the blow only to get his arm caught. Blasts from behind Kirk struck him but he didn't even turn.

"The Bloody Blade," Xillanor croaked, "That's what the holo records called you."

Kirk lifted his head and then coughed blood onto his already stained shirt. He then lifted his hand and sent Xillanor's limp form flying. More troops arrived but through the fire came the snap hissing of multiple lightsabers.

A green blade struck down at the soldiers followed by more glowing blades and a blaster. "Get to the wounded!" Luke's voice barked. Kennth and Kyp rushed forward to where Kirk was standing, and Kennth caught him just as the Jedi Master fell, the last of his wrath dissipated.

Blaster fire struck three soldiers before Wynn stepped through the foggy air and ran over to where Kirk was being tended. She noticed James and sped up.

"James!" She knelt next to him and cradled his hand in her lap. Without warning tears rushed out, burning her cheeks as she felt for the barely noticeable pulse. She glanced over as the other Jedi finished fighting the soldiers into a retreat before the wolf shaped ship lifted off.

Luke shut down his blade and ran over to where everyone was already gathered. He'd felt the strong sharp stab through the force as Kam had fallen and as he bent over, his lack of feeling of Kam's presence confirmed Luke's fears. Kam Solusar was dead.

* * *

As if something had stung Tahiri in the back of her mind and then thrust a lightsaber straight through her chest, her entire body began to shake as she sat at the table. Anakin, who felt it from his place where he stood talking at the drink table, immediately turned around and then ran over.

"Tahiri?" He said cautiously, his concern overriding any of his other thoughts. She let out a stricken sob and then threw herself onto Anakin's shoulder. "Force, Tahiri, what's wrong?"

"It's Kam, my dad… he's dead," She choked out. Anakin's entire body went rigid for a moment. "He's gone, Anakin."

As if to confirm the fact, Tionne let out a loud cry and then broke down on the floor, Leia had her arm around the Jedi historian. All eyes went to the two crying women and then all attention went to the docking bay entrance as Luke Skywalker walked in, his eyes shadowed by his creased brow.

"Kam's dead," Luke said grimly to the now silent party members. There was a lack of calm to Luke's voice that sent a chill down the spines of everyone present who had known Luke Skywalker for a long time. His eyes rested on Tionne and then on Tahiri, both of whom were beyond words. Luke's face contorted and then he turned and walked out, unable to look anyone in the eyes.

He had failed again to stop the death of a fellow Jedi.

* * *

Wynn sat outside the ICU on Coruscant, her hands clenched tightly in her lap. Kirk and James had been taken in two hours ago and she hadn't heard anything since then. Natie, the woman that Wynn had briefly seen at Jaina's wedding with Kirk, was in her third bacta treatment and would be sent straight to an overnight room in a few minutes.

Wynn let out a ragged sigh and then rested her head in her lap. It was hard to not think the worst case scenario after she had seen the condition James had been in on Kessel. It was almost like she'd stepped out of a room of glass into an alternate universe where all the glass had been shattered all over the floor.

"Here," She felt something warm pressed into her hands. Wynn raised her head to look up at Kyp Durron. She looked down at the cup of coffee. He sat down in the chair next to hers. "It's not the best kind but it's better than nothing." Kyp clearly looked worn out, his eyes had bags under them were dark. He took a sip of his own coffee and leaned forward with the cup held between his legs. He hung his head.

"We were too late," Kyp said, his voice barely audible. "Why didn't we see it coming?"

Wynn looked at him, "You yourself said you can't know everything."

"Still," He snapped, more in anger at himself than anyone else. "There's always something more we can do! There has to be!" He shouted the words at himself, as his hands shook visibly, causing the coffee to slosh around and then splatter onto the floor. Wynn reached over and took the cup before placing it on the nearby table.

"Yes, but right now," She said with some resign. "It's out of our hands."

* * *

Anakin turned his head as he sat on the edge of his and Tahiri's bed. It had taken a long time but eventually Tahiri had fallen asleep. It had been more out of pure exhaustion than anything else. She'd cried since they'd returned from Yavin 4. Because of the news, no one felt like continuing celebrating, especially Anakin and Tahiri.

He almost felt guilt that once again Tahiri had lost one of her parents. She'd lost her biological parents, her foster parent, Sliven of the tribe that had raised her, and now Kam, who had adopted Tahiri.

Anakin rested his head in his hand. His body shook and then he began to break down, his face streaked with the tears of hopelessness. He couldn't do anything to ease Tahiri's pain of loss, he couldn't stop Kam's death. With a low moan he slumped over. Bitterness ate away at his insides.

His icy blue eyes hardened. He knew. He'd known for a long time that Xillanor would cause more death but Anakin felt he had done nothing to stop the bounty hunter. His previous efforts had done little to help protect those important to him.

Anakin lifted his head. He slipped off the bed silently and turned his head to look at Tahiri before he put on his robe, since he hadn't felt tired Anakin hadn't changed. He hooked his lightsaber to his belt and then took his blaster from the mantelpiece. Without another glance backwards Anakin went to out the door to his apartment.

There was only one way to deal with a killer: He had to strike back.

**A/N- Yeah, that was intense, I know. But I'll bring in some more fluff later to lighten things up again. Please review! =) **


	41. Wandering Alone

**Chapter 40**

**Wandering Alone**

_A/N- Huzzah! I'm back again with another chappie for you guys. I seriously hope there are more people reading the chapter than the hit count is showing (because so few people makes me sad). _

_Well, I'm too pumped to give a lecture on proper review and reading etiquette, so, I'll just skip right to the part where I say: DON'T FORGET TO VOTE IN THE NAMESAKE SERIES OC POLL!!!!_

_Of course, reviewing is also welcome. _

_Woo! Okay, so I know that the last chapter was uber intense, so I'm going to try to put more fluff into this one (as much as the storyline will allow anyways)._

_Quick, Padawan, to the Yoda Cave!_

_-Don =)_

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Livid was probably an understatement of how Tahiri felt the minute she woke up. The boiling anger and frustration that Anakin had, once more, run off to fight a battle that was more risky than absolutely necessary and not to mention she'd completely lost track of how many times he'd promised not to do that over and over again.

Well, in all honesty she couldn't blame him completely. After all, he had seen Tahiri more distressed than she had been years. Or at least she hadn't been this distressed since Sliven was killed. He probably felt responsible, no matter how ridiculous she told him it was, for Kam's death. It was, for lack of a better term, the reason she loved him. He was so open hearted that anything that happened to anyone he had met, no matter how short the time, he'd blame himself if anything happened to that person. He was, if anything, the noblest heart in the entire galaxy for his efforts.

But right now Tahiri was mad because he hadn't even stopped to think for a moment about how she would feel if she woke up and he wasn't there. At a time like this, she needed Anakin to stay next to her, not run off on a suicide mission to find Xillanor. The last thing Tahiri wanted or needed was to lose Anakin to the same person who had killed Kam. Xillanor had killed two skilled Jedi now and there was no telling how outmatched Anakin, even with his force fire, which Tahiri didn't approve of anyways, would be against the deranged bounty hunter.

Without warning Tahiri picked up the nearest object, which fortunately happened to be her pillow, and hurled it at the wall before she threw on her clothes, grabbed her lightsaber, and stormed out of the apartment to go find the next transport off planet. She was going to find Anakin, and if he was lucky, he would be in one piece before she got to him.

James squeezed his eyes and then opened them, blinking before looking blearily around the room. He was alive, somehow he'd survived a blow that would have killed him, but somehow he'd survived. He groaned before pushing himself up far enough that he could get a good look around his hospital room. It was a plain room with all the usual supplies on the walls and the chairs lining the wall weren't anything to look at. Not that James cared. He hadn't even been a huge fan of fancy things, having grown up with what he needed, and little else.

A click turned James' head to the door where a Twilek doctor entered. "Ah, you're awake, that's good. We weren't expecting you to wake up this soon."

James wasn't entirely sure what to say to this doctor, who James honestly didn't know. "How come you didn't think I wouldn't wake up today?" The doctor paused for a moment and then looked at James seriously.

"Well, I must be honest with you, James, was it?" James nodded hesitantly, not entirely sure where this doctor was going with his words, "In all honesty, we didn't expect you to wake up at all."

James opened his mouth and then closed it abruptly before staring intently at the doctor with his piercing gray eyes. So that was it, they hadn't expected him to survive: it had been completely up to chance that he hadn't died from being stabbed by a lightsaber. The truth hit like icy cold water. He had really been that close to dying and yet he had woken up thinking that he had gotten through it with his own power, but it had been up to the doctors and moreover, up to the force. _The force_, James paused for a second, the term had come up a lot recently, especially now that James had decided to train to become a Jedi himself. The force hadn't let him die. There was something to that but what it was, James didn't know.

"I believe, James, you have a visitor," The doctor said as he finished writing on his clipboard. The Twilek then opened the door and James felt his entire body go from cold to warm in a matter of seconds. "I'll leave you two then." The door closed, leaving James to look uncomfortably over at the tired face of Wynn Fel. Her eyes had dark circles under them and even her posture showed some weight pushing down on it from the inside.

Once more James couldn't find the words to say to the person who he was sure had been sitting outside his room for more than a few hours. Thankfully it was Wynn who spoke first, "They said you probably wouldn't make it through the night." Her eyes wavered but then held their place, fixated on James' face. Her voice strained with both a hint of anger and simple concern as she continued, "Why did you do that?"

"Jump in to save Kirk's life?" He asked, though he knew exactly what she was talking about. "I don't know."

Wynn tensed, "How could you not know? You were almost killed, James. Don't you understand? Last night we brought you in when you were unconscious. You didn't wake up for most of the day today and you want me to believe you didn't know why you jumped in to save Kirk's life?"

James sighed, "I don't know what to believe myself, Wynn. I honestly don't. I felt like Kirk was the closest thing I've had to a familial connection since my own family died." He shook his head, "It probably doesn't make any sense to you," He averted his gaze, "I don't expect you to get what it feels like to find out that not only did you lose a family that wasn't yours, but that you don't have a family period."

Wynn regarded James with a strong sense of sympathy. James had lost the people he'd called family, then rejected them out of pain, and then came to realize he loved them only to find out that he was a clone: he didn't have a family at all. His family was whoever the master clone was related to and that was it. Wynn couldn't understand it directly, but she felt some sense in what he was talking,

"You're right, I wouldn't be able to understand it directly but I can get that you want to have that kind of connection again," Wynn said finally, "I just don't get why you would just throw your life away without a second thought."

James grimaced a little, "When you're in a situation like that there isn't really room for second guesses. You just go with your first instincts."

Wynn sighed. She would never understand why people did such insane things like jumping in front of a crazed person with a lightsaber, for whatever reason, it seemed utterly stupid. But she could only blame James' instincts, and that didn't work for her.

"You're really insane, do you realize that?" Wynn asked, folding her arms across her chest. James shrugged.

"More or less," He gave her a wry smile, "Madeline always thought that too."

Wynn looked carefully at James. That was the first time he'd willingly talked about his sister without getting angry or worked up over it or without any prompting on Wynn's part to get him to talk about it. There was almost a loving nostalgia to his tone. "Because you'd do stupid things?"

James laughed a little, "Well, let's just say I wasn't exactly the kind of person who liked to play things safe. I climbed trees that were too high, I rode a speeder bike into a tree for a dare, and I challenged a bothan to a wrestling match."

Wynn looked dumbfounded at the list of things James had just named. "And you're alive, how?"

James shrugged once more. "Who knows, dumb luck maybe?" He offered before Wynn cracked a smile.

"I'll say," She said. He gave her a strange look when she didn't say anything more.

"Are you okay?" James waited and when she continued to remain silent he thought about using his force sense to get a feel for where her thoughts lay. But then decided against it since he wasn't skilled enough to get a correct sense and he knew that it probably better to be up front. "Wynn?"

To James' surprise and horror Wynn began shaking and let out shaky response, "I was scared. I thought you were going to…" She shook her head silently and couldn't manage to say anything more. James more than ever felt helpless since he couldn't ever get up to walk over to where she was. So he did the next best thing he could think of and patted the space on the bed next to where he lay. Wynn walked slowly over and then sat down only to be embraced tightly by James.

"I didn't mean to scare you," He said gently and with the nerve wrecked feeling he'd felt when he saw her trembling a moment ago. She nodded silently and then simply let the warmth of James' embrace calm her down. After a few minutes he leaned over and kissed her, and for that moment, Wynn managed to forget her fears.

* * *

Anakin pulled out of hyperspace, his eyes flicked down to scan the radar for any approaching ships, and finding none, he began to flick the switches for his navigation system. Then he reached out with the force, sensing all the presences closest to him. He knew he wouldn't be able to pinpoint Xillanor's but Anakin hoped at least to be able to get a general feel of where the bounty hunter had gone.

The question of what he would do when he found Xillanor, still ate at the back of his mind. He'd rushed off without really thinking about what he was going to do once he found Xillanor. His anger had driven him to leave his apartment and now he wasn't even sure if he wanted to follow through with his original plan to challenge the bounty hunter. There was the choice, of course, to turn around but Anakin's stubbornness prevented him from pursuing that option. He wouldn't simply return after he'd stormed off in pursuit of someone who had murdered his brother and the foster father of his wife. Nothing made Anakin angrier than to see Tahiri upset and he wasn't about to let the person who had caused Tahiri more grief get away without some kind of punishment.

His com channel beeped and Anakin clicked it on, only to regret having done so a moment later when he realized who it was. As the image flashed onto the screen, Anakin felt a stone drop into his stomach.

"Where in the name Tatooine are you?!" Tahiri's voice sent a shiver down Anakin's spine. He hadn't seen her look and sound this pissed in a long time.

"Um, flying my ship," Anakin replied hesitantly. Apparently that was the wrong answer.

"Don't give me that sith shit, Anakin, you're out looking for Xillanor," It wasn't a question and Anakin's thoughts betrayed him as the stray goals tore away at the back of his mind.

"I knew it!" She snarled, jabbing a finger at him, her tone grating on his ears. "I fall asleep and the next thing you're off on a wild gundark chase!"

Anakin winced, "It's not a wild gundark chase, Tahiri, I'm looking for the guy who killed Kam." He replied, keeping his tone even so he wouldn't lose the battle of words. She scowled at him.

"And if you find him, then what? You'll fight him and hope he doesn't kill you?" Tahiri snapped.

"Well, I'm a pretty good fighter," Anakin replied, even though the words had already sounded pretty lame in his own head. He really wasn't as quick with words as Tahiri was. He had lost this battle of linguistics before it had even begun.

"Right, and I'm sure when you tell Xillanor that I'm sure he'll be happy to let you win," Tahiri said sardonically. Anakin worked his jaw but nothing came to mind as he racked his brain for a good response to her retort.

"Well, what do you want me to do? Just let him go?" Anakin questioned finally, the edge back in his voice. Tahiri gave him a curt nod.

"I want you to stop chasing after him like it's your fault that Kam and Jacen died," Tahiri said stiffly.

"I can't, because it is my fault," Anakin argued.

"No, it's not, and the sooner you accept that, the sooner you can focus on what you should already know is more important!"

Anakin blinked. Those words had struck him harder than the rest. He did know what was important to Tahiri, as it was the same thing that was important to him.

"But if we let him go someone else will be killed!" Anakin bit back.

"That could be you!" She said coldly, her tone was enough to defeat Anakin's volume. He frowned.

"How can you be so calm?"

"How can you be so stupid?" Tahiri questioned fiercely, "Do you honestly think that you can kill Xillanor and walk away without a scratch?"

"I didn't intend to," He said firmly. That received a low grunt.

"Exactly!" Tahiri replied, "You didn't intend to come back without getting hurt and that's exactly why you're coming home."

"Come on, Tahiri, you can't be serious," Anakin protested.

She raised her brow, "You think I'm joking? Then you can forget about coming home at all if you so much as think about running off again."

Anakin grimaced. That had been the final blow. He really didn't like the idea of being told to come home like was a child being taken home to be grounded but Tahiri's voice was no-nonsense. He could sense through their bond that it would be much worse for him if he didn't. Anakin sighed and then flicked the switch and began to plug in the coordinates for Coruscant. He had appreciated her ability to clearly express herself but he sometimes wondered if that was more of a curse for him than a gift.

"I hope you're plugging in the coordinates for Coruscant, Hero Boy, or you're space dust," Tahiri's eyes threatened more than her tone did this time. Anakin kept his sigh to himself.

"Don't worry, I'm coming home," He resigned. _So much for not leaving a mission incomplete, _he thought wryly to himself and hoped to the force that she hadn't overheard him.

She had, "What was that, Anakin Solo?"

"Nothing," He muttered.

"I heard that you know, if you're so interested in going on a suicidal mission, be my guest, but I'm not paying for the damages to you or your ship," Anakin balked at that.

"That's harsh," He said and wrinkled his nose at the comment.

"Get used to it, because you decided you wanted to spend your life with me and not some crazed murderous bounty hunter," Tahiri said, her arms folded lightly across her chest. Anakin's head slowly rotated and then returned to his dash board. _So she's got pregnancy hormones now? Force help me, _Anakin said with a shake of his head before he said, "I'm going to take the jump, I'll talk to you when I get to Coruscant."

She nodded stiffly, "Good." Then she signed off, leaving Anakin to wipe his forehead, which had actually begun to bead with sweet. _I am so not ready for this._

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_

Natie was released to a normal hospital room as soon as the doctors were sure her bacta had done as much work as it could on healing her injured shoulder. Some of the bones had been broken but the doctors assured her that it wasn't serious and she'd be out in a week.

"Doctor," Natie said, stopping the doctor after he'd briefed her on her current condition. "What're the conditions of the other two people I was with? They went into the ICU the same day I arrived."

The doctor looked gravely at her and then checked his clipboard, "Mr. Oldresk is now in a regular care room as you are but Mr. Dekim is still in ICU as of right now and he still hasn't regained consciousness," He gave a sympathetic nod, "I'm sorry. We're doing all we can." Then the doctor was gone.

Natie felt the cold set in now. Kirk hadn't woken up. James had recovered, she had recovered, but Kirk was still unconscious and in the ICU. Xillanor had hurt Kirk but she expected him like always to bounce back with the same strength she'd always seen in Kirk Dekim. He was independent, strong willed and filled with a sense of determination that even left Natie, who was fierce in her endeavors, in the dust. Kirk always seemed to be something of an anomaly to her. He was a Jedi, yet he had so much fire that came from places other than the force. He was driven by an energy that came from without and though many Jedi, like Luke Skywalker, would claim that Kirk was the one who abided by the Jedi code the closest, Kirk was the most unlike any Jedi Natie knew.

Kirk would surprise his opponents with a new strategy every single time. His strength was in his unpredictability and inability to lose faith or step down from a fight. He would keep on fighting until he died or he was beaten unconscious, whichever came first. Every time he was struck down, he'd risen to his feet once more and stood tall in front of his opponent. Even when the stakes were against him he'd prevail in doing the right thing no matter what it took from him.

It seemed that his lack of surrender and care for his injuries had finally caught up with him. Natie shook her head. It couldn't be the end, not now. There was no way Kirk would die now, he couldn't, or rather she wouldn't let him. She flicked her eyes to the door. Natie had no idea what was going on with Kirk and she couldn't believe Kirk was as badly injured as the doctor said.

If there was anything she'd learned from Brookes, it was that no matter what a doctor said, the patient was the one who could pull through when all was said and done and Natie truly believed that. After all, she'd grown up with the best doctor on Coruscant, only he'd been kicked out of a hospital for his misconduct. A decision that Brookes rejected once he'd spent a few years away from the horrific scene that the Peace Brigade had left behind. Natie had been raised by Brookes from day one. They hadn't known who their parents were or where they'd gone. Brookes had told Natie that they'd been killed because he wanted her to believe that she was still wanted.

But Natie realized the truth early on. She knew that they'd been abandoned for one reason or another. The only thing she knew one thing for sure. They were and would always be alone.

* * *

Leia sighed deeply as she sat in the large chamber that had hosted planetary voting and debating since the days of the Old Republic. But now the session wasn't even for a peaceful reason. It was called by Luke in order to discuss the actions that would be taken to deal with Xillanor and his army. Though at the moment, nobody seemed to be offering any real solutions to the initial problem.

"Even if what you say is true, Master Skywalker," Chief Fey'la said, his fur rippling defensively, "You do not have proof that this Xillanor is a threat."

"He killed two Jedi, what other proof do you require, Chief Fey'la?" This time it wasn't Luke who responded but the young Queen of Hapes, Tenel Ka Djo Solo. Fey'la's eyes fixated on the young woman before he spoke again.

"The council recognizes Queen Tenel Ka Djo Solo of the Hapes Consortium," The new Republic's Chief of State, Norsk Deris, flicked his silver eyes to face Tenel Ka. As he was a Kel Dor and the former senator of his home planet, Dorin, Deris was an experienced diplomat and military leader. He listened to reason when no one else did, that much made Leia respect Deris even when she disagreed with some of his choices.

"Well, Chief Fey'la?" Deris questioned, his tone indicating that he didn't like Fey'la's clearly hesitant silence. The Chief had gotten more than enough flack for his actions during the Yuuzhan Vong war and it was entirely unbelievable that the bothan had managed to remain on the council after vouching for the Peace Brigade.

"I wish to know what it is you expect us to do," Fey'la said finally. "You clearly seem to have some idea as to what actions we should take." This time the comment was directed at Luke Skywalker.

Leia took her turn to speak up, "I think that Luke's goals are quite clear, Chief Fey'la."

Deris turned to look at Leia, "The council recognizes Senator Leia Organa Solo."

"We've waited and now two of our Jedi, the protectors of the New Republic are dead, would you wait until more are dead?" Tenel Ka spoke before Leia could continue, causing all the head to turn in the young woman's direction. Jacen's death had clearly cut her harder than Leia had thought because the bitterness was apparent on Tenel Ka's face like the words expressing her feelings were being projected on a screen over her head. "Or is it that you do not care how many Jedi die?"

"Objection, this is clearly harassment," Fey'la said to Deris, "I am not guilty of anything except asking why you have come to the council to discuss a deranged killer."

"And I am saying that it is quite clear why we are here," Tenel Ka said stiffly, "How many must die before it becomes necessary to take precautions to prevent further tragedy?"

Deris looked over at Fey'la, who was rendered silent but Tenel Ka's harsh words. "If I may, Chief of State, I think I have a solution."

All eyes turned to face the speaker. Leia recognized the bothan as the son of General Bel Iblis, Colonel Gallender Bel Iblis.

"Council recognizes Colonel Gallender Bel Iblis," Deris said, the curiosity evident in his tone and eyes. Everyone wondered what the military leader could say on the subject since most military leaders tended to stay out of the political fray.

"I wonder if it is wise to take immediate actions against such a violent person, knowing what we do about his atrocities," Gallender said, inclining his head towards Leia and then to Tenel Ka. "Therefore I think it would be best for us to build defenses and then send patrols to warn us of his attacks."

Leia nodded her head. Like his father, Gallender was clearly a bright and strong leader with a rationale like no other. "The threat," He continued, "Is no light matter. Jedi, our strongest defense, have been killed at the hands of this Xillanor. I believe you need no further telling that we should act, Chief Fey'la." Gallender glared at the other bothan with such ferocity that Fey'la shrunk back and remained silent.

"Are we agreed that we should take Colonel Bel Iblis' suggestion?" Deris asked. There was a widespread assent to the proposal and Leia nodded gratefully in Gallender's direction. The bothan smiled and then returned his gaze to Deris, who was beginning to give the final announcements.

Something would be done about Xillanor now and maybe, Leia thought, Luke would get some sleep. Her brother had the darkest shadows under his eyes that Leia had seen in years and Luke was also always on the move these days. He hadn't returned home since Kam's death and Luke wasn't resting wherever he was. She didn't need to use the force to see that he'd lost all sense of time. It was written all over his face.

As the council adjourned and everyone exited the hovering podiums to their respective hallways, Leia walked over to Luke and caught his arm as he meandered aimlessly and would have crashed into the wall if Leia hadn't grabbed him.

"Luke, when was the last time you slept?" She asked. He stared at her for a second as though he was trying to understand what she was saying.

"I don't know and I can't sleep until Xillanor is arrested," Luke said firmly. Leia sighed.

"The New Republic is going to take care of Xillanor. You need to get your sleep." She argued but Luke didn't relent.

"I can't, Leia," He protested, "Look, if I don't keep pushing, they won't be able to do anything."

Leia scowled, "And you won't either if you collapse from exhaustion, Luke."

Luke fixated his sister with a long stare before he spoke again, "Leia, I appreciate that you care about my health but now isn't the time to be concerned about personal things. I have to join the patrol or they'll never be able to sense Xillanor coming." He glanced up as Gallender made his way down the hallway.

"You seem tired, Master Skywalker," The bothan said, casting a scrutinizing look at Luke, who sighed.

"That's what everyone seems be telling me," Luke said with some exasperation. Gallender smiled wistfully.

"Then perhaps you should listen," With a nod at Leia, Gallender then continued down the hallway, his broad shoulders made him stand out among the smaller representatives of the New Republic council.

Leia watched Luke as his shoulders sagged and he ran a hand through his hair. It was something she hadn't seen Luke do since he was a young man, barely out of his teens and new to the galaxy's widespread chaos. She knew the look in his eyes well. It was the one that he had when he was considering giving up something he really didn't feel like he could.

"I'll go sleep on this, but then I'm joining the patrol, they'll need all the extra eyes they can get," Luke said and then clapped Leia on the shoulder. "You need to spend more time with Jaina and Anakin, Leia. They're probably struggling through this too."

Leia nodded silently as Luke went down the hallway, his brow furrowed deeply. She couldn't be sure if he really had decided to give the matter a rest or if he'd stress over it when he was supposed to be resting. But that was how Luke had been for a long time. It also was how most Jedi were. Anakin was like that too. Leia found it hard to consider how they dealt with so much strain on a regular basis and still remained as calm as they did.

Maybe Anakin was suited to become a Jedi Master after all if he thought like Luke did. For some reason that brought a new set of fears to the forefront of Leia's mind and none of them seemed like they were irrational.

* * *

Anakin, at that moment, didn't feel anything like a Jedi because his lightsaber was no match for the sharp words that Tahiri was lashing at him from the minute he opened the apartment door.

"What in the name of Emperor Palpatine's balls were you thinking?!" She roared. Anakin winced but found some incredulity of her use of language. _Emperor Palpatine's balls?_

"You're so stupid! You always jump into these situations without thinking! What if you'd run into Xillanor and his entire fleet? Then what would you do?" She didn't bother waiting for an answer from him and continued on her rant, "Exactly! You wouldn't be able to do anything because you'd be killed instantly."

"Um, actually, he might not kill me right away," Anakin offered in hopes that Tahiri might see the reason in his statement. If wishes were Mon Calamari fishes, he grumbled as she launched her verbal abuse once more.

"That's not the point!" She growled, "The point is that you don't think! You just do things!"

"Isn't that what Yoda said to do?" Anakin questioned. Once again, nothing penetrated her mind once she got into her ranting mode.

"He said to do things and not try, but he never said you could be a brainless gundark!!" Tahiri fumed silently for a second before continuing,"Besides, Yoda was intelligent, you're just a dummy." She paused before shooting him a pointed look, "Just what about running off do you think would make anyone happy, anyways? Do you think that by running off and heading Xillanor off that'll make him less eager to blow the rest of us off the face of the galaxy?" She shook her head, "I don't know what the kriff goes through your head sometimes, Anakin Solo, because I'm having a hard time believing you're the same clever person I met on Yavin 4 since you're actually like a complete moron."

"And another thing," She said furiously, now pacing around him. "Where in the name of the force did you get the idea that you were allowed to just wander off on your own?"

"Since I was able to walk?" Anakin offered, raising his eyebrow.

Tahiri glared at him, nothing he seemed to say appealed to her right now. "You're not invincible, when are you going to realize that you'll die as easily as the rest of us?" Her voice had softened but her emerald eyes were still flaring in Anakin's direction. To his surprise she waited for him to answer.

"I'm only trying to make things right," Anakin said with a sigh. Tahiri snorted through her nostrils.

"Yeah, right, as if you could do that," She folded her arms across her chest. "You're not that strong. I married a human, not some psychotic mutation of a human."

_Where does she get all these insults? _Anakin scrunched up his face in frustration of how helpless he had been in the entire argument, if one could call it that since Tahiri had only yelled at him the whole time without letting him respond. Anakin sighed and then ran his hand through his hair and scuffed the carpet with his foot as he looked down. What was he going to say now that she was done yelling at him or at least he hoped she was done yelling at him, _but she could just be catching her breath_, Anakin thought. When he looked up once more he noticed that Tahiri had gone abnormally quiet.

"Tahiri?" He ventured. She looked into his eyes and then crossed over, her hand clenched. He braced, her eyes were still flaring so he figured she was going to punch him or worse. He waited and almost felt his spine chill as he thought about the wrath that was about to fall on his head.

But it never came. He felt strange warmth as Tahiri's arms embraced him, her hands tightly clenching around the fabric of his robe. He was too stunned to say or do anything for a full minute before he brought his own arms up and wrapped them tentatively around Tahiri. He relaxed after she released him, then he felt something pound his arm.

"I knew that was coming," He said with a low groan.

"I'm glad we're on the same page," Tahiri said, "For your lack of care, you can sleep on the couch tonight."

Anakin blinked and stared incredulously at her. "What? You're kidding, right?" Tahiri raised her brow as if to say 'See if I'm joking.'

"Come on, Tahiri," Anakin pleaded, "I'm back aren't I?"

"Yes, but you still need to understand that I don't take lightly to your lack of brains, so you can take the couch and be a potato like your brain."

Anakin's face fell. _She's definitely not kidding, I think I really blew it this time. _

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Jaina lifted her eyes to look through the curtains. There wasn't any sign of light so she slowly pushed herself up and then went to the glass door to the balcony. She stared blankly out at the starry night sky as the lights of Coruscant's cityscape glowed below the natural lights. She'd slept through the whole day. More importantly, Zekk had let her sleep that late.

Jaina then started as she realized that Zekk had vacated the bed. She glanced around the room and then jogged into the living room, reaching out with the force and nearly slammed into Zekk as he walked out of the kitchen.

"Whoa, I didn't know you were awake, how do you feel?" Zekk said, lowering the plate of food that he'd been carrying from its safe position away from his near collision with Jaina.

"Fine," She said, looking confused. "What happened? Why didn't you wake me up?"

Zekk sighed, "You were really upset over the party and I know you didn't get any sleep last night so I let you sleep all day today." He proffered the plate of food: scrambled eggs and a piece of toast. "Sorry, it's not much but it's what I can cook at this point."

Jaina accepted the plate with a smile. "It's wonderful, Zekk, thank you." She gave him a warm smile and then kissed him briefly on the lips before taking the plate to the couch where she sat down to eat, leaving Zekk to turn red.

* * *

Anakin lay sideways facing the inside of the couch. He'd rescued a few extra blankets and a pillow from the closet but that was all he could manage to make his makeshift bed on the couch. He closed his eyes and shifted. He liked sitting on the couch well enough but it wasn't anything like a bed. Plus the living room tended to be cold during the night as part of Coruscant's temperature shifts.

But Anakin couldn't honestly say he didn't deserve the punishment since he felt badly now that he thought about Tahiri's words and the brief amount of fear he'd felt when she'd hugged him. So he decided to suck it up and accept her punishment for what it was. As he began to drift off Anakin turned to face the outside, looking around the living room before turning back to face the back of the couch. He traced the plain surface with his fingers before letting his hand drop. It just wasn't any use trying to fall asleep, he wouldn't be able to, not when he was this strained by Tahiri's clear unease he'd felt earlier.

He shifted so he was completely up against the back of the couch, leaving space towards the front end of the couch. He drew his legs closer to his body to salvage what warmth he could. It really was cold in the living room, he hadn't really thought too much about it when he was simply sitting in there at night but now that he was actually sleeping there it was much worse.

As if a warm breeze had washed over him, Anakin felt something touch his back. He turned his head slightly and his eyes widened as Tahiri snuggled up against him.

"I couldn't sleep," She admitted after a moment of silence between them. He nodded and then brought his arm around her and within minutes they were both asleep on the couch, arms around one another.

* * *

Luke pulled his hood up around his head and slipped quietly down to the docking bay. As soon as he found the ship he'd been looking for, he fingered his lightsaber carefully. He sighed and then started to board the ramp to the _Jade Shadow_.

"And just what do you think you're doing?"

He started and then turned to look into two sharp green eyes staring out from underneath a hood. "Going after Xillanor." Luke said, knowing she wouldn't buy any lies he gave her. She grunted.

"Honestly, Luke, if you'd just asked I would have come with you," Mara's hand tightened around her own lightsaber as it hung from her belt. She lowered her own hood. "I've left Ben with Leia, I said I was going with you on a scouting mission for the Republic. We'll be lucky if she doesn't realize where we're actually going."

Luke stiffened, "We don't have much of a choice. I've always been the last one to act, so now I have to be the first."

Mara nodded, "I know, I feel that way too, but it's better with two than one."

Luke shrugged, "As if I could stop you."

"I'd like to see you try," Mara challenged, raising her brow before they boarded the ramp and then took off into the stars.

**A/N- Woo! Mara and Luke are going to get their spotlight now. It's been a while. Well, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I would appreciate some reviews… pretty please? =)**


	42. Wise Up

**Chapter 41**

**Wise Up**

_A/N- This chapter's title is from the song "Wise Up" that some of you might recognize from the film "Magnolia" directed by P.T. Anderson. I don't own the song or its lyrics and I most certainly do not own Magnolia (well, I own a copy of the film that I bought but that's about as far as that goes)._

_My YJK books on the way! (That means I'll conquer my writer's block with "Remember" and push that story along). The next chapter of "Somewhere" should be up soon too. I have off work Monday so I'll get to writing more this weekend if all goes well (meaning if I get to plan my schedule without intervention). _

_I'm pleased that the hit count has continued to increase. Keep up the good work and please review!!! _

_Welcome to the new readers too!! _

_Toodles,_

_-Don =)_

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It's not

What you thought

When you first began it

You got

What you want

Now you can hardly stand it though,

By now you know

It's not going to stop

It's not going to stop

It's not going to stop

'Til you wise up

You're sure

There's a cure

And you have finally found it

You think

One drink

Will shrink you 'til you're underground

And living down

But it's not going to stop

It's not going to stop

It's not going to stop

'Til you wise up

Prepare a list of what you need

Before you sign away the deed

'Cause it's not going to stop

It's not going to stop

It's not going to stop

'Til you wise up

No, it's not going to stop

'Til you wise up

No, it's not going to stop

So just...give up

-From the song "Wise Up" by Aimee Mann

* * *

There were many things that had befallen Corran Horn. He had lost his son, Valin to the Peace Brigade attack on Yavin 4, where Valin should have been safe. Then there was the strange disappearance of his eldest daughter, following the attack on Coruscant. Corran hadn't seen her since then and he could tell at the very least that she was alive, but for whatever reason she hadn't bothered to return to her family. Or what was left of it anyways. Only Mirax and Corran had managed, just barely, to hold themselves together and Corran was barely scraping by as it was.

Most of the time the Jedi Master brooded in his study or took long flights with no particular destination in mind for a few days and then would return in the early hours of the morning to find that he couldn't sit still or even sleep for that matter: Corran Horn was deeply troubled by the Jedi Order now. Everything that he had placed his faith in, his hopes in, the dreams of an alliance of Jedi who wouldn't falter and wouldn't fall prey to the attacks the galaxy threw at them, no matter how daunting or harsh.

There was something to that. Corran was the one who had been crestfallen and had his faith crushed by Valin's death. Jysella hadn't been much better. She had gone out every night alone and come back after having drunk herself into a stupor. Mirax was the only one who seemed to be strong. She had stood by Jysella, supported her, and supported Corran. Though Corran himself wasn't really paying much attention these days, especially when it came to issues of the Jedi. He'd considered resigning from the order many times but never was able to bring himself to say it to Luke's face. Luke probably already sensed it anyways.

Corran stooped over to pick up the tool box next to his foot and began to tweak the engine of his ship. He didn't even look up when the clacking of feet on the metal plating of the floor sounded right behind him. As he worked his tool roughly against the insides of the hull, he turned his eyes to face the new arrival. After months of not using the force, Corran had almost lost all sense of it altogether. But he didn't miss it since the whole idea had been to sense those alive around him and he didn't really feel like interacting with those around him any longer.

"Uncle Luke said I could find you here," A hand pressed Corran's next tool into his palm. Corran stared impassively into the cool blue eyes of his student. Though it had been brief, Corran had trained Anakin Solo in many force techniques, including sparring.

Corran went back to work, "What of it?"

Anakin frowned with concern at his teacher, "You didn't even know I was coming, did you?"

Corran paused and then sighed, "Look, Anakin, I don't know what Luke's told you, but I'm not interested in coming to any more Jedi council meetings."

Anakin's eyes watched carefully as Corran wiped his forehead with a dirty rag. "Uncle Luke didn't tell me to come here. I asked him where to find you, so I could ask you something."

Corran took to wiping his hands and then looked strangely at Anakin for a moment before nodding. "As long as it's not about Jedi or the council, I'm all ears."

Anakin shook his head, "It's not. I'm actually here on a personal request."

Corran chucked his rag into the toolbox. "From whom?"

Anakin looked almost wistful for a moment, "From me."

* * *

"Ya!"

"Ooph," Once the sparring stick hit Zekk's chest, he went down faster than he could even think about how much it hurt to be smacked in the stomach and be defeated by a two year old no less. He looked up at Tenel Ka, who was looking on as Zekk picked himself up.

"You're tough, J.D.," Zekk said, giving the boy a broad grin.

"Tough!" Valin repeated, pumping his fist in the air. Zekk shot a grin in Tenel Ka's direction. She had watched Valin spar with Zekk for the past hour and a half, neither one of them had tired until now when Valin had struck out in Zekk's brief moment of openness.

"You win, J.D.," Zekk said, giving Valin a nod of approval. The kid was indeed tough and not to mention quick on his feet. His reflexes were the fastest Zekk had seen in a long time. There was no telling how strong Valin was going to be when he grew up. At this rate, Zekk thought wryly, I'm going to be obsolete before I turn twenty five.

"Mommy, I beat Zekk!" The almost three year old yelled as he bounded over to his mother, who smiled.

She gave Zekk a questioning look, and he shrugged before giving a look that said, 'I really was trying.' Tenel Ka almost laughed but instead picked Valin up and handed the sparring stick to Zekk.

"Thank you for sparring with him, Friend Zekk," Tenel Ka said and looked to Valin who flashed what Zekk recognized as a Solo grin before Valin laughed.

"Thanks, Zekk!" He waved his fist and Zekk smiled at the two year old.

"Any time," Zekk said, giving Tenel Ka an almost pleading look. He hadn't actually wanted to spar because he'd heard of Valin's unusual tendency to bruise his opponents. But Jaina had gone out for a few hours to run some errands, so Zekk had to be there. When were the Solos when you needed them?

Zekk waved as Tenel Ka and Valin left the sparring room. Zekk then sighed audibly and then started when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"It's me, Zekk, calm down," He turned and gave Jaina an indignant look.

"You could have said something instead of sneaking up on me," He pointed out. Jaina raised her eyebrow.

"Or you could have used the force to sense me," Jaina watched as Zekk jawed in an attempt to find a comeback but he found none that seemed to fit. He finally huffed and went to put the sparring sticks back on the rack attached to the wall. When he neglected to say anything for a while, Jaina sighed.

"Zekk, stop moping, I wasn't being serious," Jaina said exasperatedly.

He turned, folding his arm across his chest and raising his brow skeptically, "You weren't?" He said testily, "You weren't here to just make fun of me?"

She grunted, "Yes, if you want to know and for the record I came here because I wanted to know if you wanted to just spend some time together, but since that doesn't seem to fit into your agenda…" She turned on her heel and immediately Zekk moved so that he was in front of Jaina. She hadn't seen him move so fast in a long time. He'd accurately used the force to speed up his pace. He stared at her for a moment before he hugged her and kissed her hard.

"I take that as a yes," Jaina said in a stunned but pleased tone. Zekk grinned and took her hand. The two then walked out of the sparring room just as another person bumped into them on her way in.

"Oh, sorry," She said. Jaina held up her hands and then turned, realizing who it was.

"Tahiri?" Jaina questioned, and then glanced around, not finding Tahiri's usual counterpart, Jaina returned her gaze to the younger girl.

"Why do you say it like that?" Tahiri asked. "Did I do something wrong? Because if I did I wouldn't know, I don't usually pay much attention unless someone says-"

Jaina laughed, it had been a while since she'd heard Tahiri's endless chattering, it was nice to hear. "No, you're fine. I'm just surprised because my idiot brother isn't with you."

Tahiri smiled wryly, "Oh, that. Anakin said he had something important to talk about with someone."

Jaina's brow went up completely at that, "That sounds awfully vague and suspicious."

Tahiri shrugged, "As long as he's not doing something recklessly stupid I can deal with that."

Jaina gave the younger girl a look of astonished approval, "Wow, you're really tolerant. You're a true Jedi if you have patience like that."

"Funny," Tahiri said, wrinkling her nose, "That's not what Anakin says." Jaina sighed.

"Yeah, well, Anakin isn't exactly the model student," Jaina gave Tahiri a significant look and she laughed.

"As Tenel Ka would say: this is a fact," Tahiri glanced over to where Zekk was standing, his eyes darting around and his stance indicating his nervous anxiety. She noted and immediately processed his behavior before turning back to Jaina.

"I don't want to hold you two up from your date," Tahiri threw Zekk a smile. "I know Zekk's looking forward to it."

Zekk turned a little red at the flat out statement. Jaina chuckled, "You're not, Zekk's just like Anakin: Zekk has no patience."

Zekk scowled, "I'm right here you know."

"We know," Jaina and Tahiri said in unison. Zekk scowled more deeply at that but the two girls burst out laughing in spite of Zekk's clearly affronted glare in their direction.

"Well, we'd better go," Jaina said, and Tahiri nodded in understanding. The two girls embraced each other, and Zekk stood awkwardly off to the side, not really being the hugging type, except with Jaina of course. As the two girls broke off their embrace, Jaina started as Tahiri's stomach brushed Jaina's. Had Tahiri put on a little weight?

Jaina paused then, her force senses picking something up and then she felt something coming from Tahiri that hadn't been there before. It took a moment before Jaina blinked as the truth hit her.

"Tahiri, you're pregnant, aren't you," Jaina stated rather than questioned. Tahiri went white as a sheet.

* * *

Natie lifted her eyes and felt the cracking of her back as she sat up from the cramped position she was in on the hospital chair in the waiting room.

"Ms. Renders?" The doctor repeated. Natie sat up quickly.

"Yes, that's me," She said, brushing her hair strands from her face. She didn't have any idea how disheveled she probably looked and she honestly had no wish to find out.

"Mr. Dekim has woken up if you wish to see him now," The doctor said calmly and in a low tone so as to not startle the clearly disoriented Natie. She was up on her feet, but it was too quickly because she immediately staggered before she regained her balance by leaning on the arm of her chair.

"Okay, let's go," She said, ignoring the concerned look the doctor was giving her. As they walked down the hallway of the ICU, Natie noted how few people were waiting. Either most people were released to normal care or the people in the ICU had died already. The thought brought chills to Natie's entire body. They continued down the hall to a room marked "Kirk Dekim" on the label on the door, a sign that Kirk was sure to be in the hospital for a lot longer.

The doctor stopped and then opened the door, stepping aside. "I'll leave you two then." He said, "Call me if you need anything." Natie nodded gratefully, she needed to talk to Kirk alone and she appreciate that the doctor seemed to recognize that.

As Natie walked in, closing the door behind her, she noticed immediately that Kirk had multiple thin tubes connected to his arms in addition to his IV and he was connected to a large medical monitor that Natie hadn't even seen before, even with Brookes it was something complex looking as well as unnerving as it seemed to project all the information about Kirk's health on the screen.

Kirk looked up and gave a weak smile but didn't say anything. Natie crossed over and came to sit down on the edge of his bed. "How do you feel?"

He sighed, "Pretty tired. I didn't really get much out of the sleeping drug they gave me during the treatment." Kirk's eyes revealed the exhaustion and pain that still lingered from the fight with Xillanor as well as the disturbed shadows that sheltered his thoughts about Kam's death. But he wasn't letting any of it show outside of his haunted eyes. The death had replayed time and time again in Kirk's mind.

Even when he was sleeping his body wasn't at rest, it was constantly showing him the facts that Kirk didn't want to face. He didn't want to admit that Kam was dead: he wanted to continue to deny it until the end of his own life. There was a sense of loss. Kam had been everything that Kirk's biological family hadn't. Kam had been Kirk's brother, his best friend, and Kam's father had been Kirk's surrogate father. They had embraced Kirk as if he'd been there the whole time.

When Kam's father died, Kam had begun to look after Kirk like nothing had changed. There wasn't anything that Kam wouldn't do for Kirk. Nothing that Kirk did or said changed how loyal a friend Kam was. In all honesty Kirk had been brutally harsh towards the Solusars. But never once did Kam question Kirk as a person. Never did he ask Kirk why he was so abrupt and harsh. If there ever was an unconditionally accepting friend, Kam was that person. No task was ever too much for Kam Solusar and it took Kirk a long time to realize that when he'd up and left over ten years ago, Kam had been hurt. Not because Kirk had left Kam behind but because Kam felt Kirk's pain and didn't want to his friend suffer. But Kirk, as was his way, kept all his troubles to himself.

"Kirk, I don't really know how to say this, but I think I need to say it," Natie began gently but within her tone was a hint of hesitation. "You may not have wanted me to see you as you were on Kessel, but I want you to know that I don't trust you any less because of your anger."

Kirk regarded her with doubtful eyes, "You're only saying that because in truth, you're scared of that part of me. You only want to see the part of me that's safe but you know that you would run away the minute the other side came out."

Natie shook her head, "That's not what I meant at all." She gently eased her fingers through his and then held on as firmly as she could without hurting him further than he already was. "Kirk, I know you want to keep thinking of yourself as a monster that doesn't deserve anyone's love or to even been around anyone who loves you, but the fact is that everyone does things they regret and some of them are irrevocable.

"I'm not proud of my brash actions that led to my brothers' deaths," Kirk opened his mouth but Natie cut him off, "No, I'm not listening to you continue to treat yourself like this, Kirk. I mean it," She gave him the harshest stare Kirk had ever seen her use, "You act like you're the only one who's done something regrettable and you're not. It's about time you started treating yourself like a living being instead of a half dead empty shell."

Natie paused for a second as the sounds of the doctors talking as they walked past the door slipped under the cracks of the door. She turned her head to look straight into Kirk's green eyes. "If I thought you weren't worth spending time with, believe me, I'd have left you a long time ago."

He gave her another dubious look, "I'm not sure you would have. You keep insisting you understand that I've done horrible things and then you say you would have left if you thought I was a terrible person."

Natie gave him a small frown, "That's because that's who you were, not who you are." She placed her other hand over the hand that was grasping his. "Kam thought that too. He told me you were always trying to be accepting of everyone around you because that's just who you were. He never doubted you, so why should anyone else?"

Kirk turned his head to avert his eyes but Natie gently brought it back to look at her, "Kirk, don't hurt yourself just because you think it'll help fix what you've done."

He grimaced before the dam that was holding back all of his past nightmares about Kam's and Nina's deaths to the surface. He bit down hard on his lip and then turned his head away again. This time Natie didn't force him to look at her, she didn't have to because a moment later Kirk's tear stained face, lowered to his chest turned to look up at her. Natie continued to grasp Kirk's hand, squeezing it as he cried. It was almost frightening to see Kirk, who was the ideal image of what a calm and composed Jedi should be. He was steady and well balanced. Not once had she seen him falter in his endeavors, and even then he never betrayed a sense of fear or any emotion besides serenity.

_Emotion, yet peace._

_Ignorance, yet knowledge._

_Passion, yet serenity._

_Chaos, yet harmony._

_Death… yet the force._

Kirk had embodied the code from the moment he found the text in the Jedi records from the Old Republic. He had even gone far enough to dig up the code written by an unknown master recorded during the time when the first code came into being:

_There is no true center of the universe, yet we must be balanced._

_There is no permanency, yet we must maintain stability._

_There is no separation from the force, yet we must seek solidarity._

_There is love, yet there is loss._

_There is hurt, yet there is hope._

_There is strength, yet we have flaws._

_We are masters, yet we are learners._

_We are the protectors, not the protected._

_We have desires, yet we must not use them._

_We are users of the force, yet not more important than those around us._

_The force is life and life is the force, yet they are one and the same. _

_We are living, yet we shall not place our lives over those of others. The force is life and life is the force, yet they are one and the same. _

_We are living, yet we shall not place our lives over those of others._

Kirk raised his head at the thought of the code. He had lived by it with such conviction, some of it subconscious and other times his mind was set on obeying a code that had long since seen its last days. But Kirk had found truth in it that he hadn't anywhere else. No other doctrines seemed right.

There is pain, yet there is redemption.

Kirk opened the eyes he had been squeezing shut without even realizing he had done so. When he opened them he found that Natie was still sitting with her hands around his free one. Attachments were forbidden by the code but now…. Now Kirk could have something the Jedi of old didn't.

"Natie?" He said tentatively. She looked at him, concern as well as patience in her eyes.

"Yes?" She made sure to keep her tone calm so as to not make Kirk any more uneasy that he already was.

"Promise me something?" He asked, his face started to redden as he spoke.

"Name it," Her usual spark was there as she said it, and Kirk had to smile, even if it was faint.

"Don't leave me," he said and kissed her softly before leaning back on his pillows. Natie's own face flushed and then she nodded slowly. For a few minutes at least, there was a mutual sense of peace between the two.

* * *

"Yeah, I am," Tahiri said, a little embarrassment in her tone at being found out but there was still a general sense of joy in her voice as well.

Jaina stared for a long time, working her jaw before she managed a response that was articulate enough to say out loud, "What the force did Anakin do this time?"

Tahiri smiled in a quietly content but slightly amused way, one side of her lip curling upwards, "To be honest, it wasn't all his idea, Jaina."

Jaina's jaw literally dropped at that, rendering her temporarily silent while Zekk spoke up, "So you two already talked about this?

Tahiri shifted and her mouth curled into a wry smile, "Well…. He didn't exactly know until I told him."

"What do you mean he didn't _know_?" Jaina blurted incredulously. "How could you _not _know? You two are really closely bonded, right? So, he should be able to know."

"It's harder for guys to tell than girls," Zekk put in. Jaina and Tahiri looked quizzically at Zekk.

Jaina especially seemed suspicious of Zekk's comment, "And how exactly would you know this?"

Zekk nervously mussed his own hair, "I didn't feel it just now when we brushed past Tahiri. If you felt it, I should have too. So it was a guess that it might be easier for girls to tell than guys."

Tahiri considered this, "He does have a point," She turned to Jaina, "We do have good intuition."

"True," Jaina said, still giving Zekk a strange look. _Oh, well, I'll grill him about it later. _"Anyways, when exactly are you planning to tell your parents?"

Tahiri twitched at the use of the plural form of parents and Jaina immediately froze, "Oh, kriff, Tahiri, I didn't mean to say that." Jaina felt a twinge of guilt as she saw the obvious pain in Tahiri's eyes before she averted them.

"I'm not sure," She said, completely dodging the pain that had shot through her when Jaina had said that. "I'll have to talk to Anakin about it."

Zekk nodded, "I'm sure you'll find a good time to tell Tionne," He said, and gently took hold of Jaina's arm. "We'd better go."

Tahiri wasn't even paying attention at this point: she had been rooted on the spot, her head hung slightly as she stared blankly at the floor. Jaina bit her lip as she and Zekk exited the training center. She immediately hit herself repeatedly with her fist until Zekk grabbed her arm and held it so she couldn't move.

"Stop, Zekk, let go," Jaina said, trying to wrench her hand from Zekk's grasp. He scowled.

"Not until you stop trying to hurt yourself," He said firmly. Jaina twitched and then frowned, but it wasn't directed at Zekk.

"I just said the most insensitive thing I could possibly say to her right now and you expect me to just let it go?" Jaina asked.

"It's hurtful what you said but that's no reason for you to beat yourself up over it. You didn't mean it and I know that Tahiri knows you didn't," Zekk said, his voice stern but gentle. Finally Jaina stopped trying to hit herself and let her arm drop as Zekk let go. He brought an arm around her shoulders. "Jay, I think Tahiri has a lot more on her mind than either of us knows about. What you said was just an accidental trigger for all of that."

Jaina looked at him, "Anakin probably knows, right?"

Zekk shrugged, "Even if he doesn't, she'll be more willing to tell him than us. That's just how they are."

Jaina smiled faintly, "I guess I was right about how close they are." Anakin and Tahiri were close in a way that Jaina could never understand, having never had a best friend that she'd known for that long. She'd known Zekk for a long time, but not nearly as long as Anakin had known Tahiri. There was also the fact that Tahiri and Anakin had always been tested by their teachers to use their bond to solve problems, so they were used to having to connect all the time, it had to be almost subconscious by now.

She almost envied, or had at one point, envied what Tahiri and Anakin had built through their blood, sweat, and tears. The Academy had given Anakin an opportunity to become someone more open and strong willed than he had ever been in the years before he had enrolled. Once Tahiri was in his life, Anakin had started to talk more and soon he had begun to smile like there was no tomorrow.

That same girl, no woman, was married to Anakin and he loved her, Jaina knew, as siblings had to, that he loved her more than life itself: which was probably the reason that he tended to do the most idiotic things to protect Tahiri and to prevent her from being hurt physically or emotionally. There was something so pure about Anakin's passion in regards to Tahiri that it very nearly stunned Jaina speechless.

She hadn't seen the lovingly passionate side of Anakin until he had met her and now it was all the more evident. The way that Tahiri spoke about the unborn child in her womb told Jaina that the young girl felt the same way.

"Jay?" Zekk questioned as Jaina shook herself mentally from her reverie. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just thinking," Jaina said and Zekk sensed that she wasn't lying and relaxed, but reached out and grasped her hand tightly as they began to walk outside the training center.

"About what?" He inquired, looking over at Jaina with his soft green eyes. She shrugged.

"I guess I'm just wondering how Anakin and Tahiri ever got to be as close as they are, I mean, Anakin wouldn't willingly connect with anyone, even if they tried," Jaina shook her head in amazement. "I don't get how Tahiri convinced him."

Zekk chuckled, "I have a feeling that she didn't convince him."

Jaina frowned in confusion at that, "What do you mean?" He gave a bemused look her way before answering.

"She forced him to be friends with her," Zekk said, "Would be my guess."

Jaina thought about that and then nodded, "You know, I think you might be right about that." It certainly did seem like the kind of thing Tahiri would have done and Jaina said as much to Zekk. "It definitely sounds like something Tahiri would have done."

"Yeah, and I doubt Anakin would have agreed even if she did genuinely want to be friends and just made an attempt to get to know him. So she probably just said, let's be friends and wouldn't leave it be until he agreed," Zekk then waved his hand to indicate what came after. Jaina nodded and looked up as they approached the café that was located right around the corner from the training center.

"Let's go get something to eat," Zekk said and Jaina smiled.

"Right behind you," She said and they walked in step to the café.

* * *

Natie felt some relief roll off of her back as she heard that Kirk would be discharged from the hospital soon, of course he'd have to have occasional check-ups with the doctor to make sure he was healing correctly, but otherwise he only had a few more weeks before he'd be free. She found it funny how much Kirk hated hospitals, despite that they had, on many occasions, saved his life.

She waited outside the door while the doctors changed Kirk's bandages. When the door opened, the doctor gave a low snort, "He's so stingy about bandages, one would think he wanted to bleed to death than have them changed." With that the doctor was gone, still muttering under his breath. Natie sighed, that sounded like Kirk alright.

"Kirk," She said sharply, and he twitched, as she walked in, "What's this about you not wanting to change your bandages?" She folded her arms across her chest and arched her brow.

Kirk scowled, "It's a pain." He almost looked like a child pouting and to Natie that was almost so ridiculous to see that she immediately deemed it cute.

"Of course it is, but it'd hurt more if you didn't," She pointed out. He snorted.

"Just because you love hospitals doesn't me I have to," Kirk turned his head stubbornly. Natie shook her head, finding the whole situation more amusing than when she first walked in.

"Kirk, stop being a brat and let the doctors change your bandages," Natie said, trying not to laugh. Kirk obviously sensed the humor and scowled at her.

"What is so funny?" He asked: his brow furrowing. When Natie didn't answer on account of the fact that she was trying to keep herself from laughing out loud, she was almost about to succeed when she spoke.

"You," Natie said, letting out a snicker before she cracked up completely. Kirk raised an eyebrow.

"_I'm _ funny?" He almost seemed to take wry amusement in the whole concept.

Natie laughed, "Yes," Then she managed to stop before sitting down on the edge of the bed. It was only when she sat that she realized her mistake. Kirk reached out with his hand and began tickling her. Natie twitched and then lost her balance, falling off the bed with a loud _thud_.

One of the doctors poked his head as Natie picked herself up, still laughing, "What's going on here?" He looked from one to the other, not understanding what had happened.

Kirk rolled his eyes obliviously, "She just lost her balance for a second." Natie shot Kirk a strange look, which he smiled challengingly at. The doctor who was still confused and perhaps even more so when he saw the look that passed between the two, left.

Then Kirk and Natie burst out laughing together before Natie sat back down on the edge of the bed and Kirk grasped her hand in his. She then leaned over and kissed him on the lips, lingering briefly as the sensation sent a small giggle through her system. Kirk grinned and kissed harder, only serving to cause Natie to laugh harder. Finally he pulled away and then felt the exhaustion hit him before he drifted off to sleep. Natie gave his hand a gentle squeeze before she kissed him on the forehead, then walked out to let him sleep.

* * *

Corran frowned for a second as his force sense was unable to pick up on anything, even though he did try to get a feel for what Anakin was thinking nothing was forthcoming from the younger man's mind. Corran jerked his head, "Come on in, we can talk on the ship."

After Anakin had situated himself on the small couch that Corran had brought on board his ship for sleeping purposes, so it was strewn with blankets and a pillow, Corran leaned against the wall to regard his student for a while before giving Anakin a nod to continue.

"So what's on your mind, Anakin?" Corran asked, folding his arms across his chest. Anakin turned his head to look at the coordinates plugged onto the screen of Corran's nav-computer before returning his gaze to his former teacher.

"I wanted to ask if you'd do something for me," Anakin said slowly, and Corran could now detect through the force Anakin's clear hesitation.

Corran's brow lifted slightly, "And it has to be me?" He almost didn't want to be singled out right before he disappeared on another one of his quests to meander the galaxy.

Anakin looked thoughtful, "Well, you're the only person I know that can accomplish what I need."

Corran now looked interested, "Oh, and what might that be?"

"Let me explain first what I need it for," Anakin said with a smile.

Tahiri struck hard at the orb hovering in front of her, it sparked and then fell to the floor in a heap of burned circuits and metal. She clicked the switch on the wall and more test orbs hovered and all began to shoot lasers at her, she braced, lifting her lightsaber, but they were all deflected swiftly by a glowing violet blade to her left. Tahiri turned to see Anakin walking over to where she stood.

"That's not a good way to train, if that was actually what you were doing," He said, using the force to flick the switch to turn the training system off, and then he closed down his lightsaber and clipped it to his belt. Tahiri still stood silently as though she hadn't noticed the training had ended. He gently pried her lightsaber free from her hand and then closed it down. He placed it on the floor as he took both Tahiri's hands in his and tried to look into her eyes.

"What happened?" He questioned.

Tahiri twitched and then choked back a sob before she threw herself onto his shoulder, "Anakin, why?" She leaned her head against his shirt, the tears wetting the soft cotton.

Anakin brought his arms around her and then ran his hand in gentle circles around her back, "I don't know, Tahiri." He said softly,

She let out a hiccup and then lifted her head to look up at him, "But you've been in the void, don't you know why?"

He shook his head, "I don't know that any more than I know why the force wouldn't let me die," Anakin turned his head to look at the door before he rested his head on her hair, kissing it. "I'm just as confused as you are."

Tahiri stepped back a few paces and wiped at her eyes before Anakin used his sleeve to gently wipe the tears from her face. "People die so easily."

Anakin looked at her for a moment before speaking in a firm but wistful tone, "There is no death… there is the force," He closed his eyes as though reciting words spoken to him a long time ago, "There is no wisdom but there is truth."

Tahiri squinted at him and then looked confused, "What are you saying?"

Anakin reopened his eyes, and blinked, "What?" He looked equally as confused as Tahiri for a moment before he found where the words were coming from, "Oh, I know now." He smiled warmly, "The force is connected to life and through life we are able to sense the truth of how it works, thus knowing how the force works." Anakin nodded, "Those words are from the presences I got from the void. They all knew the old Jedi code."

Tahiri thought for moment and then replied, "I don't remember the wisdom being part of the code," She said.

He shook his head, "It isn't. It just came to me."

Tahiri stared at him for a moment before saying in a quietly awed voice, "You really are a lot wiser than Uncle Luke."

"Not wise," Anakin said, smiling, "Truthful."

Tahiri's mouth cracked into a smile before she tackled him onto the mats laid out all over the floor of the training room. Anakin blinked in surprise but recovered in time to return the kiss Tahiri had begun. Their arms tightened around one another and then Anakin let out a low gasp when they finally broke it off.

He smiled at Tahiri as she brushed his bangs from his face and then rolled to the side, but Anakin kept his arm around her. "This probably isn't the best place to be doing this," Anakin said. Tahiri shrugged.

"What other people don't know: won't hurt them," She said, lightly stroking Anakin's neck, causing him to shiver in delight. He smiled and then slowly stood up, offering his hand to Tahiri, who took it. He pulled her up and then grasped her hand.

"Come on, let's go home," Anakin said and as they walked out, two beady eyes watched them exit the training center as a small furry white creature made his way around the couple.

"And there is passion, yet serenity… truth, yet love," The dark lips curled into a warm smile before the furry creature made his way into the training center as the couple obliviously walked back to their apartment building.

* * *

Jaina paused as she and Zekk entered their apartment, the thoughts of Anakin and Tahiri flooded her mind. It seemed so funny that that they could be so complacent yet Jaina didn't really consider if she'd ever wanted the same kind of closeness to Zekk.

"Jaina?" Zekk came over and wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his head against her cheek. She brought up her hands to grasp Zekk's.

"Zekk, you love me, right?" Jaina asked. Zekk tensed and then gave Jaina a curious look.

"Of course I do, I married you, didn't I?" He replied. Jaina sighed. It was now or never.

"Then you're not just emotionally attracted to me?" Jaina questioned hesitantly. He shook his dark haired head.

"That would be an understatement," Zekk said, almost wryly. Jaina turned around and hugged Zekk hard. He paused before returning the embrace. Then he leaned over and kissed her.

"Is that what you want?" Zekk asked, sensing her thoughts and feelings. She nodded with a smile.

"Just one question," Jaina said, pulling back a little.

"Did you tell the truth when you said you just guessed that you and Anakin couldn't sense Tahiri's pregnancy?" Jaina looked into Zekk's green eyes as they widened and then returned to normal.

"Yeah, but that's probably just us, I mean I can't speak for every guy," Zekk answered.

"That's not what I meant," Jaina said, cocking her brow at him, "I'm your first, right?"

Zekk opened his mouth and then burst out laughing, "Is that what you were so worried about?" He sighed, "Jay, I've never been in love with anyone else and yes, you're my first."

Jaina laughed airily, "Glad we cleared that hurdle." She then started a little as Zekk brought his lips onto hers, the force that traded between their thoughts sent shocks through both their bodies.

"I love you, Zekk," Jaina said and then Zekk grinned and picked up into his arms.

"Zekk!" She cried, laughing as he shifted so she was in the traditional wedding carrying style. He smirked.

"I've always wanted to do that," He said and received a light punch on his arm for his efforts before he set Jaina down on the bed. He leaned in and then whispered, "I love you too, Jaina."

* * *

"So who was it that you had to see, Anakin?" Tahiri asked as she rolled over to lean partially on his bare chest.

"To see Corran," Anakin said, turning his head and reaching over to take something from the bedside table.

"For what?" She questioned, peering over to try to get a glimpse of what Anakin was holding.

"To get this," He held out a small stone with two metal strips attached to it. Tahiri squinted and then took the stone and then looked at Anakin in surprise.

"Where did you get this?" Tahiri questioned. "This is a Tatooine birth stone from the Old Republic."

Anakin smiled, "Now you know why I asked for Corran's help." He reached out and pointed to the markings on the stone, "Corran's travels gave him the access to a lot of things. Including the original stones from the Old Republic," Anakin traced the markings, "It says 'There is truth, yet love,'" Tahiri nodded wordlessly. It was written in one of the tongues of Tatooine and the last marking was the crest of the Veila family.

"Anakin, I don't know how you managed to get this, but thank you," She smiled at him. He reached over and took the stone and turned it over.

"There's one more thing, look," Tahiri looked and saw the small writing and then the open space, Tahiri's shocked expression gaped at him.

"I thought it was a good idea," Anakin said almost bashfully.

"Come here, you," She said as she set the stone back on the bedside table before kissing Anakin fiercely. He grinned as she ran her hand through his hair and a sense of peace fell upon them as they let sleep take them.

"_There is love and there is hope for this child."_

_-Tatooine Proverb_

**A/N- I apologize for my lateness in posting this. I had some issues with word (which I resolved with a lightsaber and my open window) and then I had a show at my high school that I went to. It made me feel old to be a visiting college student. _ Ha, ha. Thanks for reading and just to note- the last bit about the proverb was made up completely. PLEASE VOTE IN THE NAMESAKE OC POLL ON MY PROFILE PAGE!!! **


	43. Forward and Back

**Chapter 42**

**Forward and Back**

A/N- Sorry, for the delay on posting, Guys, I'm on my last week of my college's work term before I go back to college (on Sunday). So things might get backed up for a little while but I'll try to post when I can.

Just to let everyone know, I'll be posting the intro for the new story as soon as this story is finished (and it will be soon enough). But I'll leave a note at the bottom of the final chapter letting everyone know what the name of the new story will be.

Oh and thanks to whoever it was that voted in the OC poll! There are now three total votes and that puts one character in the lead. I'm really intrigued by the outcome so far, so keep the votes coming! I'm going to extend how long the poll will be up so that more people can cast their opinions. That'll also give me more time to flesh out the new characters that will enter the series. I might just keep it up for the duration of the next two series. We shall see.

Thanks for reading and as always, reviews are nice if you get the chance.

Best,

-Don =)

* * *

Anakin sat up and rubbed the back of his head, sending his hair into disarray. If there was one word for how he'd sleep the night before, it was "relaxed." He hadn't felt this calm in ages and it was strange that something so simple as sleeping through the night could feel so refreshing. That was also partly due to the fact that Tahiri had been right next to Anakin the whole time. He couldn't understand when it had become so comforting just to be next to her, he just knew that's how he felt.

He shifted sideways so that his feet were flat on the floor. He glanced back and then ran his hand over Tahiri's hair, an affectionate smile playing across his features. There were times when he would have questioned whether or not he deserved all the love Tahiri had to offer him, and in some sense he still did, but now that he knew he could offer her just as much love in return, he decided it was time he stopped keeping score.

"Anakin?" Tahiri blinked drearily and rubbed her eyes with her fist. He turned around to face her fully. "Are you okay?"

Anakin leaned over and kissed Tahiri, who was too tired to respond in kind but smiled nonetheless, "I'm…" He didn't finished but there was no need to, Tahiri had sensed most of his feelings through their bond and even more so through his kiss.

"Good…" She murmured and then broke off the kiss so she could go back to sleep. Anakin couldn't help but laugh. He was usually the one who didn't like getting up. It was amusing to think, that even if it was only for today, their roles had reversed. He slid off the bed and walked quietly across the floor. As he reached the kitchen he heard a soft knock on the door to the apartment. He frowned and then felt out with the force, and then his frown became one of confusion rather than concern.

The door opened and Anakin looked at his sister. "Jaina?" He kept his voice barely above a whisper just loud enough for her to hear but not to wake Tahiri. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

Jaina folded her arms across her chest and raised an eyebrow at her younger brother, "Peachy." She said with a wry smile, "Though you have some explaining to do, Little Brother."

When he continued to look confused she said, "Tell me, when exactly did you have sex with Tahiri?" She looked almost amused as she said this, and Anakin could only gawk like a gundark as she smirked at him.

"Come on, it's easy enough to notice, Mom'll be on your case before you know it," Jaina said. "Were you actually planning to tell them?"

Anakin jawed before he found his voice, "Well, yeah, I was. But how did you know?"

Jaina laughed, "Come on, Anakin. I'm your sister and I'm a Jedi. I'm surprised that no one else has noticed."

Anakin looked unnerved for second before asking, "Does Zekk know?"

Jaina shrugged, "Only as much as I do. We both ran into Tahiri at the training center and I just sensed it. Zekk didn't though. I don't know why he didn't, but the point being is that he knows and it won't be long before the word spreads," She gave Anakin a serious look, "It'd be best if everyone hears it straight from the TaunTaun's mouth."

Anakin fell silent as he mulled over Jaina's words. It made sense. His eyes went to the bedroom where Tahiri lay sleeping. "I wouldn't worry too much," Jaina said, "You're already married so I think mom and dad will be less likely to explode."

"Less likely still isn't enough to give me insurance for Mom's reaction," Anakin said wryly. Jaina laughed.

"It's hard for them, you know," She explained, "All of us are now married and Jacen already had two kids. I don't think mom or were ready to be grandparents." Anakin felt the pain when Jaina mentioned their brother's name but kept his comments about it silent for the time being.

Anakin nodded solemnly, "I know," He was silent for a little longer before he continued, "I'm just as surprised as they are. I mean, I never thought I'd fall in love as fast as I did."

Jaina raised her brow, "Really? It's not surprising to me or to the rest of our family."

Anakin stared at her, "I doubt you saw this coming. Did you?" Anakin questioned after a moment.

Jaina smirked, "Did and I was wondering when you'd come to your senses."

Anakin wrinkled his nose. "Come to _my _senses?" He laughed, "Says the girl who couldn't be up front to the guy she liked for almost ten years."

"You've known Tahiri longer, so I wouldn't be talking," Jaina said with a dangerous flicker in her eyes, which Anakin caught and then returned the fiery glare before cracking up. It wasn't long before Jaina smiled herself, shaking her head. "We're even."

Anakin thought for a moment before he spoke again, "How did you know I'd fall in love with Tahiri?" Jaina considered for a moment how she'd form her answer before she replied.

"Well, you two were already so close, it was just a matter of coming to realize how deep your feelings were. Anakin, you changed so much after you met Tahiri and over time you wouldn't leave her side and the same went for Tahiri. You two just stuck together to the point where it seemed ridiculous that you weren't dating," She smiled knowingly, "Or that you two loved each other from the start."

"I don't know about that," Anakin said skeptically, "I mean I was really young, I don't think I could have felt something like that."

Jaina shrugged, "It's not about how complex the feelings are. If you cared a lot to the point where losing the friendship would hurt, I think that's love in its simplest form." Anakin turned his head once more to look over as Tahiri gave a low sigh in her sleep. A smile crept across his mouth.

"Yeah, you're right. I don't think I've ever wanted to lose her," Anakin replied with acknowledgement of the fact slowly flowing through his mind and heart. "I missed her a lot when I left the Academy to fight the Yuuzhan Vong."

Jaina nodded, "I know you did. I still don't get how you managed to survive that long without cracking."

Anakin laughed hollowly, "Most of the chaos was going on in my head, that's why." He blinked as something wrapped around his waist. He turned to see the golden glow of Tahiri's hair pressed against his shoulder.

"Sorry, Tahiri, did we wake you up?" Jaina asked. The younger girl shook her head as she looked up, but didn't let go of Anakin's waist. Anakin rotated she he could pull her into his arms completely.

Jaina smiled and then took Tahiri's appearance as Jaina's cue to leave. "Well, I've got to go deal with Zekk, he's trying to repair the Lightning Rod today."

Anakin laughed, "Make sure he doesn't break anything."

Jaina waved her hand, "Will do," She turned, "And, Anakin, don't forget what I said." She nodded before shutting the door behind her.

Tahiri gave Anakin a curious look, "What did she say to you?"

He sighed, "She thinks it's a good idea if I tell my parents that you're pregnant," He scrutinized her for a moment, "Why didn't you say you ran into Jaina at the training center?"

She shook her head, "I was still shocked that Jaina found out to say anything before now." Anakin nodded slowly. Tahiri squeezed his hand, "Hey, it'll be okay. We're together now so it's not like they can lecture us on the proper order of things."

Anakin smiled, "That's true," He sighed, "Well, it's a good thing we're married in any case."

Tahiri smirked wryly at that, "It could have easily been the other way around."

Anakin groaned, "Don't remind me."

Tahiri laughed in a teasing tone, "Oh, I will."

"Aw, brother," Anakin hit his forehead with his palm. Tahiri burst out laughing and then looked strangely at Anakin as he turned his head with a giant smirk plastered on his face. Something told her that wasn't a good thing.

"What?" She questioned cautiously. Before she could question him any further Anakin began tickling her until she fell onto the floor in a fit of hysterical laughter. For a second Anakin relented, only to have Tahiri return the favor. He laughed nonstop and hit the floor next to Tahiri, who was crouched on her knees next to him. With an impulse to end the ache in his chest from laughing so hard Anakin leaned forward and kissed Tahiri until she relented her tickling long enough to return the kiss him back.

It lasted a little longer this time, their lips drifting to touch cheek and then Anakin kissed Tahiri's forehead before leaning back, Tahiri's hands then wrapped around his shoulders as she smiled. "That was unexpected."

He pressed his forehead to hers, "You didn't leave me much choice."

She laughed, "I'm glad I didn't."

Anakin paused and then nodded, "You know what? So am I."

Tahiri pulled him into a hug that he returned with equal force. "I had no idea you missed me that much while you were fighting the Yuuzhan Vong. I wouldn't have said those things about you forgetting our friendship if I'd known." She felt Anakin's chest move as he spoke.

"It's okay, I don't blame you. I kind of did get distracted," Anakin stroked the back of her head for a minute before he leaned his head against hers. "Besides, if you hadn't gotten mad at me, I might not have gotten the courage to say how I felt." He laughed, "You pretty much beat it out of me."

Tahiri frowned, "I didn't do anything except tell you what I thought."

"It made me think about how I felt though," Anakin replied, "So I guess I'm glad you yelled at me. I wasn't happy about it then, but now that I think about it, I'm really glad you did."

Tahiri shrugged, "To each his own: I guess, right?" she whispered and Anakin kissed her briefly on the forehead before pulling back a little so he could look at her.

He laughed, "Yeah, something like that."

For a moment neither of them spoke and neither felt much like moving either. Finally it was Tahiri who broke the soothing silence, "Anakin?"

"Tahiri?" He said, feeling some of the hesitation in her tone as she spoke.

"I already know that the baby's a boy," She said, there was a tremor in her tone that Anakin couldn't quite place but he sent comforting wave through the force so Tahiri knew that he was with her. "I… I wanted to name him Kam."

Anakin stood back a little and brushed the hair from Tahiri's face, "Whatever you want to name him, Tahiri. Kam's a good name."

She swallowed and nodded wordlessly. He took to rubbing her back in comforting circles before he made sure that he could look her in the eyes as he continued, "Tahiri, no matter how long it hurts, I'm going to be here. So don't feel like you need to hide your hurt from me. I want be here for you, as much as I can be."

She tightened her grip around him as though fearing he'd disappear, "I know, I'm just afraid. Everyone seems to be leaving so fast, I don't know what to think."

Anakin felt a pang at the words, he knew that feeling well. It was the same one he'd been having for a while himself. Even before Kam's death, and even before Jacen's death, Anakin had felt many lives dying since he'd returned from the void. He felt the moment of anguish as the life presences ebbed out and entered the void and then stopped feeling their unique qualities altogether as they became one with the force.

It was frightening that a presence that once defined itself by the body and person it lived in, could suddenly become a new person entirely, made Anakin shiver every time the thought came into his mind, which was often enough. He understood Tahiri's fears well. He'd meant the words he'd said to Jaina. Losing Tahiri had been a fear from the very beginning.

In the moment where Tahiri fell off the boat when they were sailing to the Massassi Temple to solve the mystery of the Golden Globe, Anakin's fear took hold and for a second his desperation to save her caused him to use the force to hurl her from the water. Back then he'd just brushed it off as a simple matter of "what anyone would do," but now he knew it was because subconsciously he'd already attached himself to her from the very core of his heart. Nothing but the will of the heart could draw enough force to save someone from drowning: after all he was barely eleven years old at the time.

"You're thinking about it too, aren't you?" Tahiri said, breaking Anakin's reverie. "When I fell out of the boat our first year at the Academy," Anakin nodded mutely. "I was honestly terrified that I was going to drown. But you pulled me out. I'd always wondered how you had managed to do that when neither one of us were strong enough in the force to even lift a boulder," She shook her head, "Then I realized that you were there for a reason. That it wasn't a coincidence that you were the person that appeared in my dreams before then: I know you don't like hearing about destiny, Anakin. But it seems like everything that has happened since I met you has been… unbelievable."

Anakin nodded, "No, you're right. I was thinking about that too. I don't know about destiny so much as the fact that by just being around you, I was stronger in the force. I noticed that when I went to fight the Yuuzhan Vong on my own. It wasn't as easy as when we were fighting together," He grasped her hands in his, "Everything is unbelievable and I sometimes wonder what I did to end up where I am now."

Tahiri looked at him questioningly, "Which is where?"

He let out a sigh, but it was one of contentment, "A place where I'm completely in love." Tahiri's face flushed red. It wasn't the first time he'd told her he loved her but it still embarrassed her a little when he said it sometimes. "I don't know what changed, but I'm glad it did."

Tahiri smiled away her embarrassment, "You know what?" She said with a sigh of contentment, "So am I."

* * *

Kirk grunted as he pulled up from the tenth crunch he'd done since he went to the training center on Coruscant. After being released from the hospital he'd left to go get himself back into shape. All the hospital stays were rendering him lazy in his opinion. So against Natie's better judgment he went to the training center to remedy his "over-hospitalization" as he put it.

"Twenty," He breathed and then was about to do twenty one when he heard someone clearing a throat. Kirk turned his head and let out a low snort. Talk about bad timing.

"Mind telling me why you're here only hours after you've been released from the hospital?"

He sat up so he could glare at the new arrival. "I fail to see how it's any of your business, Miko." Kirk then stood up and wiped the back of his neck with his towel as he walked to the control panel to set up a training session with the stun orbs.

The other man folded his arms across his chest, "There's no need to be cold, Kirk. I was there when Kam died, too you know."

Kirk twitched and then turned, his eyes haunted and pained, "I know that. But that doesn't mean you understand how I feel."

"I never said I did," Miko replied. "But from one dark Jedi to another, I'd say I know how confused you probably are."

Kirk didn't say anything in response because he knew that both of them knew that was the truth of the matter. Miko did understand after all. He had also had a life that he'd abandoned to become the demon of the Jedi Order, killing whoever needed to be eliminated in order for the New Republic to function safely. Kirk and Miko were part of a group of Jedi that became monsters in order to keep the humanity they'd left behind, safe. It was truly an ironic outcome and job.

"Look, Kirk, I know I'm the last person you want to hear say this," Miko said, rubbing his cheek in a nervous gesture that he'd never shown in public until now. "But you should try to take care of yourself and try to shoot for a future outside of the dark Jedi realm."

Kirk scowled deeply, the creases on his forehead almost became wrinkles, "Damn right I don't want to hear that sith shit from you. It sounds like you're trying to play wise Jedi when you're tainted like the rest of us."

Miko scowled back, "Don't get me wrong, Kirk, I haven't atoned for my wrongdoings nor am I ever going to be able to account for them in this lifetime. But you have a chance to start over." Miko shoved his hands into his pockets and lowered his gaze as he averted it, "Beginning with Natie."

Kirk sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "I guess everyone's noticed by now." When all one's friends were Jedi, it was easier to find out about the love bug than when it was simple spreading of mouth to mouth news.

Miko had to smile at that, "You've never exactly been good at hiding your emotions when it came to things like love, Kirk."

To Miko's surprise, Kirk laughed lightly, "That's true."

A moment of silence fell before Miko spoke again, noting Kirk's faraway look for second. "You really are different." Miko said with a hint of awe and surprise in his tone, "I heard that you had from Kam a little while ago, but I didn't realize until now what he meant."

Kirk's eyes narrowed and then returned to normal, "I guess you wouldn't believe it. You knew the old me better than anyone else, except for Kam."

Miko smiled wryly, "You want to keep it that way?"

Kirk thought for a moment and then shook his head, "Natie should be able to see me, even the parts that I'd rather keep under my skin. If she runs away, I won't blame her."

Miko sighed, "It's your choice, just don't say anything you'll regret later on."

Kirk frowned again, "Like what?"

Miko shrugged, "I don't know but anything could cause trouble, even the truth," He sighed, "Especially the truth."

Kirk regarded Miko for a moment before he spoke, "You didn't tell me." Miko shrugged again and looked a little forlorn for a second.

"You weren't really around when it happened, but it didn't last long after I told her the truth," He laughed and smiled a pained smile. "It happened after you left, Kirk. I met her when we stopped in on a random planet and we just started talking. When I mentioned that I was a Jedi, she thought the world of it. But later when I told her about my job, she told me, probably too gently that she couldn't be around me for her own sanity," He shook his head, "Not that I blame her."

Kirk nodded, "I still don't get how Natie managed to get past all the things I've told her already."

Miko looked carefully at Kirk before voicing his question, "You haven't told her about Deshar have you?"

Kirk cringed visibly and his eyes regained their haunted expression. All the light that had appeared when he thought about Natie was lost behind a shroud of shame for a part of his past that stood out the most. "You might want to keep that to yourself." Miko said in the silence that Kirk left.

He shook his head, "No, she deserves to know what kind of monster she's dating."

Miko looked like he was about to object before he looked with sadness at Kirk. "I'm sorry, Kirk. I shouldn't have brought it up." Kirk held up a hand to stall any further comments. Miko watched Kirk's expression as it darkened. Deshar was clearly a sore spot for Kirk. Since the mission was led by Kirk himself, it probably seemed to Kirk like the catastrophe was his fault.

"I think I'm done for today," Kirk said, and clipped his lightsaber back onto his belt. He had placed it on the floor while he'd done his crunches. Without another word he walked out of the training center, Miko's eyes watching his former comrade in silence.

Luke found himself trapped in a whirl of memories as he stepped down the ramp onto the planet he'd never have imagined returning to any time soon. Mara stood at his shoulder and he could sense she felt similar. Even though the planet itself hadn't changed much, the air was filled with memories of a darker sort. The Yuuzhan Vong had changed Mykyr from what it had been originally.

The ysalasmiri were scarce even at this point. The Yuuzhan Vong weren't known for their sense of mercy, but to almost eradicate an entire species entirely seemed extreme even for the Yuuzhan Vong. More so now that the Yuuzhan Vong had become almost complete allies of the New Republic. Especially the one called Vua Rapuung, He was attached by some honor code to Luke's nephew, Anakin, and it seemed altogether strange that the reason was rooted in Anakin's escape shaming the Yuuzhan Vong warrior.

"So what are we looking for exactly?" Mara questioned, looking around her. Luke lifted his hand to reveal the force sensor he'd dug out of his collection of odd technology. It glowed a clear blue as he held it up in front of both of them.

"Him," Luke said and turned his head as the figure stepped out of the trees, a blue glow light the clearing.

"I didn't think you were this foolish, Luke Skywalker, but I guess even I can be wrong," The hood of the figure's dark cloak flipped back.

Mara's eyes flared and her lightsaber was out in a second.

* * *

Zekk frowned as he concentrated on twisting the two wires in his hands together. It connected and then zapped Zekk, causing him to jump and hit his head on the underside of the dash board.

"Fucking wires," He muttered.

"That's why I told you to wait," Two booted feet, accompanied by coverall pants, stood next to the open door to the dash board. Zekk grunted and ducked his head out from underneath his workplace.

"Just because you can do it better doesn't mean you get in on every project," He replied, his temper and frustration getting the better of him. Jaina sighed and then frowned.

"Fine, if you don't want me here, then I'll just leave," She turned and headed away. Zekk sighed. He'd blown his chance of spending the afternoon with Jaina working on the Lightning Rod, something he immediately berated himself for.

"Kriff!" He pounded the dash board and then the whole ship's electricity went out. In the darkness he could barely make out the form of Anakin Solo as he came in.

"Looks like you could use some help," Anakin said, with a wry smile.

Zekk moaned, "Tell me something I don't know."

Anakin looked over his shoulder and then back at Zekk, "Did something happen between you and Jaina?"

Zekk looked sheepish even before he replied, "Why?"

"Well, Jaina just stormed out of the docking bay like someone had set her entire face on fire, she was livid if I've ever seen her like that," Anakin gave Zekk a curious look. "What happened?"

"I kind of blew up at her and she got mad and ran off," He replied, lowering his head. Anakin laughed.

"That sounds like the type of thing Jaina would do, she's pretty hot tempered when she lets herself be," Anakin folded his arms across his chest thoughtfully. Zekk looked at Anakin curiously.

"You mean she's not like that all the time?" Zekk asked sardonically. Anakin smiled.

"Well, you could say that she probably reacted that way because it's you, not me," Anakin answered honestly. Zekk sighed.

"How did I know that was it?" He sat down hard on the floor and glanced up as Anakin went under the dashboard and within seconds the lights were back on.

"Because you two are close enough to know what you shouldn't say to one another," Anakin replied and stood up, handing Zekk a pair of thick gloves. "I don't think I need to tell you what to do now."

Zekk grunted good humouredly and then took the gloves, "I'll be back." He then took off at a run in the direction Jaina had left in. Anakin shook his head with a knowing smile. Jaina wasn't really as mad as Anakin had said she was, but it sped up a process of apology that would have taken Zekk forever otherwise.

"And what," A voice said from behind Anakin, "Is so amusing?"

He turned and lifted his brow, "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Don't get smart with me, Hero Boy," Tahiri pulled on Anakin's cheek, causing him to scowl indignantly. After a moment she let go and then Anakin rubbed his cheek.

"Zekk had a fight with Jaina and now he's gone to apologize," Anakin replied simply. Tahiri looked at him curiously.

"And why is that so amusing?" She asked.

He sighed with a laugh near the end, "Oh, no reason, I just had to goad Zekk into walking a little faster to the apology part."

Tahiri smirked at that, "You're so scheming sometimes, you know that?"

Anakin had to turn his head at that, "Scheming? You make it sound like it's a bad thing."

Tahiri laughed, "It is if you think about it." Anakin paused and then shrugged.

"Somewhat," He then smiled himself, "But Zekk and Jaina are better for it."

Tahiri considered and then nodded. "Yeah, true." She slipped her hand into Anakin's and then they started back out of the docking bay.

**A/N- Yeah, I know it's short, but the next one will be longer and won't drag as much. Plus I'm going to go into more of Kirk's past, so be prepared for some real fleshing out of his character. Thanks for reading! =) **


	44. Dire Consequences

**Chapter 43**

**Dire Consequences**

_A/N- Sorry for taking so long to post the next chapter, I just started my second semester at college and all the chaos that goes with it is now setting in. Fortunately I like my schedule better than I did last term so we'll see how that affects my posting. _

_At any rate, I hope everyone has been enjoying the wacky weather that's been going around lately. _

_Since the hit count has been climbing steadily and I'm in a good mood, I'm not going to enforce the whole "only sending chapters to constant reviewers" thing. But if anyone wants to bring in any more readers/reviewers I will humbly appreciate it. =)_

_Thanks,_

_-Don =)_

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Mara locked blades for a minute before, to Luke's clear astonishment as he had drawn his own lightsaber, she smiled. Her lightsaber lowered and she shook her head in an amused way.

"I'm surprised you're here of all places," Her lips twitched into a wry but still warm smile, "Roan."

Luke looked from the hooded figure to Mara and back again, his confusion evident on his features as his own nose was. "I'm surprised you came here at all, Emperor's Hand."

Luke finally took a step forward, "Mara, who is this?" he gestured to the hooded figure, whose head rotated in turn to look at Luke with interest. He pushed back his hood to reveal a man whose youthfully round face reminded Luke immediately of how he himself used to appear. The stranger's dark brown eyes regarded Luke silently and his short gray colored hair. It was an unusual coloring but when Luke felt out in the force it soon became clear was that was.

"Luke, this is Rendon Je'nex," Mara's eyes scanned the young man. "The Emperor's Wraith. He was in training to become another agent."

Rendon's mouth curled into a bitter smile, "Former wraith," he amended, "Like you, I was left without work after the Empire fell. But since I was far too young to become anything but a nuisance I was taken in by some sympathizers."

Luke's brow furrowed. "Sympathizers of what?"

Rendon looked to Mara before he continued, "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but there are still dark Jedi." Rendon's eyes shifted to have a vibrant yellow hue to them, "And I am one of them."

Anakin lifted his eyes and regarded the busy traffic above the first level of Coruscant. Clad in his Jedi robe with his lightsaber hanging from his belt beneath the folds of his robe, Anakin ventured into the bar to find out more about the information he'd received from an anonymous source the night before. Without any knowledge as to who this person or alien was, Anakin wasn't able to tell Tahiri anything besides what he himself knew: that the informant would meet Anakin in the _Basilisk Pub_, one of the most well known bars in all of Coruscant. Anakin cast a glance back at his chosen companion for the venture: the cloaked form of Vua Rapuung. Tahiri had insisted that Vua Rapuung accompany Anakin if she wasn't able to and with her pregnancy Anakin insisted that she rest, much to Tahiri's clear protestation. He resisted the urge to sigh at the memory of the image of Tahiri scowling at him as he left. Anakin regretted having to leave her out of this investigation as much as she did but he had to consider her health as well as their child's, so in the end they both agreed it couldn't be helped. She had given him a look of concern after he started to pack up his things to go to the bar. Her misgivings weren't mutually exclusive. Anakin himself didn't completely trust the message he'd received.

"You are sure that this is where we are to meet your informant?" As per Anakin's request, Vua Rapuung wasn't using Anakin's name or title for security reasons. If anyone noticed them, they were simply two travelers in a cloak and robe, nothing more. Of course, the minute they entered, heads turned to try to get a look at the two newcomers. Although his face was obscured by his hood, Anakin was far too well known to be missed for long. He didn't plan to stick around long enough to find out who did know him.

"You're early," A voice said from the side of the bar. Anakin's head turned and his hand immediately went to where his lightsaber was and Vua Rapuung tensed, his own hand touching his hidden blaster. "All the better as we have a lot to discuss."

The casualness with which the newcomer spoke was cool and unaffected by his surroundings or by the fact that Anakin and Vua Rapuung were clearly armed. The informant kept his hands in the pockets of his loose pants and raised his eyes from the ground, a glint in his yellow eyes. Two black pupils bore into Anakin.

* * *

"_Deshar," Miko turned his head, "What a dump." He glanced at his companion, a sunken faced but still youthful man of twenty with haunted eyes scanning the desolate planet, a factory based one with small towns littered all over. _

"_We've got our target, move out," The companion said impassively as if he hadn't heard a word Miko had said. Miko watched as the dark robed Jedi moved in behind their leader. He snorted and shifted his lightsaber into his hands. _

"_Is he always such a stiff neck?" Miko questioned as the next member came forth. The blonde looked at Miko listlessly. _

"_We're not meant to feel, Miko, remember that," The blonde clapped Miko on the shoulder before filing in behind the rest of the squad members. Miko muttered under his breath before he followed in suit._

_For the past two years of his life, Miko Reglia, as a young Jedi of thirteen, had had the lessons of Luke Skywalker grilled into him at the Academy. After some time it grew old for Miko as he knew deep down that he was much stronger than the worn out rebel hero. Miko knew he was stronger than Luke Skywalker's worst weakness, no matter what it was. That fact alone gave Miko the courage and confidence to become a powerful Jedi. He turned his eyes to look over at his Master. The haunted face of Kirk Dekim never ceased to frighten as well as give rise to questions from Miko. He had spent enough time with the young Master to know that Kirk rarely gave in to his feelings and if he did, they were ones of extreme bitterness. Miko often wondered if that was why both he and Kirk had been assigned to be on the covert ops team eliminating the Imperial sympathizers on the small planet on the edge of the outer rim. _

"_Your thoughts betray you, Apprentice Reglia," Miko turned to look up at his Master, whose unshaven prickly face would frighten most Jedi apprentices but not Miko. Kirk was only twenty himself, yet he had many more experiences in the darkness of the force than Miko, _

"_I only seek to know what it is that we are doing here, Master," Miko replied, his eyes cool and calm. Kirk placed a hand on his student's shoulder. _

"_We are to arrest the Imperial sympathizers, nothing more," Kirk looked over to where the rest of his team was awaiting orders. They had been observing the activities on Deshar for some time now and Kirk had finally pressured Luke into approving the arrest of the remaining Imperial citizens and soldiers hiding on Deshar. He adjusted the bulletproof breastplate under his robes and then pulled up his hood. Two fingers protruded from his sleeve and the squad moved out into the open. _

_The soldiers took one look at the approaching cloaked figures and opened fire with their blaster rifles. Some even had parts of their stormtrooper armor still on and their clear distaste for the New Republic showed in each of their attacks. _

_Kirk brought his lightsaber up to absently deflect the blasts coming from every direction as he strode forward. Miko watched his master, noting the calm with which Kirk operated. It was beyond impassive, Kirk felt nothing. Just like Kyp, whose words "We are not meant to feel, Miko, remember that," struck something deep within Miko. He barely had time to deflect a blast from hitting him in the face before one struck him in the leg, causing Miko to tumble to the ground in cloud of dirt. Kirk's head turned a fraction and then the blaster fire increased, now more fire was coming from inside the houses. Kirk waved his hand with three fingers: the signal to enter the homes and make the arrests. Miko tried to push himself to his feet but his leg had already given out. He cursed as the rest of the Jedi entered the homes. There was a cry as a squad of soldiers pulled out an entire family with all blasters trained on them. Kirk's eyes rested on the soldiers. _

"_We are here to arrest the remnants of the Imperial Army, surrender," Kirk didn't flinch when a blast struck his shoulder. Miko did. _

"_Master!" Miko tried to push himself to his feet but failed once more to rise. The lead soldier waved his blaster and two children were pushed their knees in front of their parents. _

"_Make no mistake, if you arrest us, we'll put a burn hole through each of their heads," The leader said, pressing his blaster to the head of the young boy, who had to be only five years old, the fear was evident in his round eyes as the cold metal touched his temple. Kirk sensed the truth and knew better than to doubt it. _

_Kirk remained rooted on the spot as the other Jedi watched their leader for an indication of what to do. Kirk raised his hand but a blast struck it on the way up to his chest and all the Jedi immediately ignited their lightsabers as blasts came from the open windows of the houses. Kirk's own blade ignited and his head turned just the lead soldier blasted the two children through their skulls and then had only a second before a glowing blade decapitated him. Kirk's eyes blazed as the houses went up in flames, the people running as the blaster fire increased around them. Kirk's eyes rested on the retreating soldiers and leapt over to land in front of them. Without blinking he cut them down and strode slowly through the burning village, his eyes cold and almost had a golden tinge to them. _

_Miko had finally made it to his feet and was running to where the villagers were trying to take cover from the blaster-fire. He raised his blade and then brought it down as he saw the dark form of Kirk emerging from the flames of a house. Thirty bodies of soldiers lay at his feet and the flames licked at his cloak but Kirk didn't seem to notice. His eyes had lost all recognition of his surroundings and he continued to walk until he reached the bodies of the two children on the ground. With the arm not gripping his lightsaber Kirk lifted both children and then leapt forward to stall the remaining soldiers in retreat. They froze as if contemplating the sudden change in demeanor of the Jedi who had come to arrest them and was now determined to destroy them. Without warning the cold eyes of the Jedi rested on the soldiers and he lifted his blade and set about slicing down each of the soldiers without any indication that he'd already killed them all. _

_More blaster-fire came from behind the houses as fully clad stormtroopers ran forward and rained fire down on the remaining Jedi. A blaster canon rolled out and seven of the fifteen Jedi were blasted into the burning houses and dropped to the ground like ragdolls. Miko leapt forward and set about deflecting the blasts before landing directly behind the blaster canon. He ran the gunner through and then flipped to land between two unsuspecting soldiers before cutting them in half. He grinned wolfishly as he knew he was acting exactly as his master would have. _

_Kirk himself had already lost complete control of his mind and actions, his anger drove him to strike at any target near him and he slashed down two civilians and then severed the arm off a fellow Jedi who happened to stray too close to Kirk's path of blood. Another Jedi turned to see Kirk's blade starting to come down on the innocent villagers and rushed over._

"_Kirk, stop!" The words were barely out of her mouth before Kirk's blade ran her through and he used the force to hurl her body aside. The Twillek remained prone on the ground and the other Jedi regarded Kirk with distance in their eyes._

_The troopers continued to emerge and had given up on trying to keep the villagers alive. All of the villagers who were trying to make a run for their lives were blasted down one by one as the soldiers converged on the Jedi. More blaster canons opened fire and soon the Jedi were down to Miko, Kyp, Kirk, Claus, and two other Jedi. Kirk lowered the children to the ground before using the force to send the blaster canons flying into the nearby houses. The houses gave out with a burst of flames into the already dust filled air. _

_The young bothan Jedi raised his lightsaber and deflected the blaster-fire before two blasts hit him from behind. The remaining Jedi turned and deflected the blaster-fire and the other alien Jedi fell, leaving the four human Jedi to defend against the onslaught. Kirk raised his blade and deflected five blasts in quick succession before sending two troopers crashing into one another with the force. He turned just as a blast struck his shoulder and then another hit Claus in his face as he deflected another. Kirk gritted his teeth and let out a roar of frustration before leaping from their circle to completely hack down the rest of the troopers until the blaster-fire had struck him to the point of unconsciousness. Miko let out a cry and rushed forward as a two dozen New Republic ships landed in front of him and as the ramp of the front-most one lowered, Miko blinked. Luke Skywalker's thin form strode out followed by New Republic soldiers who immediately stunned the remainder of the stormtroopers. With a look of disappointment as well as sadness, Luke nodded to the med-squad and they took Kirk and the others up the ramp of the medical ship. _

_Luke's eyes remained fastened on Kirk up until the moment the ramp closed on the Grand Jedi Master's former student. There was a brief pause before he sighed and regarded the scene before him with a sense of grim acceptance. _

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Zekk's brow creased as he stood looking out at the lights of the many buildings of Coruscant. He had gone to the training center only to stop on the way and simply decided to stand on the edge of one of the docking bay platforms to look out at the city. His green eyes scanned the ongoing traffic, the bustling of aliens and humans as they made their way around the many levels of Coruscant. Zekk lowered himself down so he was sitting with one leg propped up against his chest and the other dangling partially over the edge of the platform. With a glance backwards he then rested his chin on his knee. It had been a while since he'd just found a place to sit and think on his own, not that he didn't like the company of his friends and now his life partner, Jaina, Zekk simply wanted time to meditate. He lifted his head a little as he noticed a familiar robed figure enter the _Basilisk Pub. _What was Anakin doing in a bar?

Zekk stood up, fingering his lightsaber before he threw his cloak around him and started away from the edge. He was going to find out for himself what Anakin Solo was up to.

Luke's hand went to his lightsaber but Mara stepped forward, placing herself between Rendon and her husband.

"Luke, Rendon isn't our enemy," She gazed intently into the blue eyes she'd come to know and love over time and Luke relaxed slightly. Rendon seemed to notice Mara's look because he regarded her for a moment before he spoke.

"You've changed, Jade," He said with some admiration in his tone. "You never would have acted out of heart when you were with the Empire. Maybe it was better that it fell."

She looked at Rendon, who almost seemed to have a sense of sadness in his tone. "What about you, Rendon?" Mara looked at the young man, who to her was still a young boy.

"I was and will remain chained by the dark side," He replied quietly, "But I have my morality so I feel obligated to give you a message."

Luke took his turn to speak, "Which is?" Mara nodded and gave Luke a look that told him to remain calm.

"There is a traitor in the New Republic."

* * *

Anakin glared at the person standing in front of him. "Uldir," Anakin seethed.

"You won't have any trouble, I'm not armed." Uldir held out his hands as if to prove his point. Anakin stepped forward and gestured for Vua Rapuung to examine Uldir. The warrior searched Uldir before stepping back.

"He tells the truth," Vua Rapuung said, though his voice betrayed a mutually felt anxiety that passed between him and Anakin.

"I assure you, I'm only here to relay a message as an informant to you, Anakin," Uldir said and cast a glance back at the bartender, who was giving the group a wary stare. "I suggest you decide quickly whether or not you're going to listen to me since we are getting negative attention."

Anakin turned his head slightly and took in the bartender's clearly annoyed look through the corner of Anakin's eye. He returned his gaze to Uldir, who had not moved an inch since making his statement a moment before.

"Fine," Anakin assented and went to the bar to order drinks to appease the bartender. Once he had done so, Anakin gestured to the nearest booth and they slid in, Uldir took the seat furthest from Anakin when Vua Rapuung glared at the chestnut haired man through the shadows of the Yuuzhan Vong warrior's cloak. Anakin didn't seem to mind this as he had been giving Uldir the coldest stare he could manage with his ice blue eyes.

"Don't tell me you're still bitter about what happened on Endor," Uldir said with an almost exasperated expression, "You were hardly responsive, how else was I supposed to react?"

"Like you were a friend instead of a backstabbing son of a sith," Anakin replied, his voice nearing a yell but remained teetering on the edge. He watched Uldir for a moment but not once did Anakin let his hand leave his lightsaber.

"I can see why you didn't want Tahiri to come," Another voice said and Uldir reached for his blaster as a server droid placed their drinks on the table.

"No weapons permitted, sir," The droid said to Vua Rapuung as the Yuuzhan Vong had his blaster out and pointed at Uldir's head as the man had begun to rise at the sight of the newcomer.

"Why are you here, Zekk?" Anakin questioned the older Jedi. Zekk shrugged.

"I saw you come in here, it's kind of an odd place to hang out in your free time," Zekk regarded Uldir. "So you're Uldir," Zekk scowled, "I can definitely see why you don't like him, Anakin. He's practically a sith incarnate." Zekk slid in so he was right across from Uldir. The younger man almost seemed uncomfortable as Zekk held Uldir in an wavering stare. The server droid came back.

"Something to drink, Sir?" Zekk didn't even bother to look at the droid when he responded.

"Same as my friend," His voice dropped a few octaves as he said 'friend,' and continued to look straight at Uldir. The server then scooted away as Uldir shifted his gaze to Anakin, whose face remained stony.

"I won't forgive you," Anakin stated when no one else spoke unto the silence amid the usual background noise of the bar. Uldir gave Anakin a wary and almost disappointed look.

"Why, because I hurt you?" Uldir said with a laugh. "You're more pathetic than I thought." Both Zekk and Vua Rapuung tensed but remained seated as they looked to Anakin for his response.

"No," Anakin replied stiffly, his anger starting to leak through, "Because you hurt Tahiri."

Uldir fell silent a moment himself before regarding Anakin icily, "Just because you think you're in love with your girlfriend doesn't mean you have to go all noble about it."

Zekk raised an eyebrow, "And I thought news traveled fast." Uldir looked from Anakin to Zekk and back again.

"What?" Uldir questioned with his tone showing his clear hesitation at the expression on both Zekk and Anakin's faces.

"Tahiri and I are married, Uldir," Anakin said. Uldir blinked twice and then his entire face went pale.

"Married?!" He blurted. Uldir looked from Zekk to Anakin for confirmation and when neither denied the claim, Zekk started when he sensed the force tension and leapt aside as force lightning erupted from Uldir's fingertips.

* * *

"Kirk," He blinked and then looked up and realized he'd been sitting in silence with his beer in his hand and staring blankly into space for a full ten minutes. As they were in the back of the small café, Natie and Kirk didn't draw much attention to themselves. But Kirk was definitely drawing Natie's attention to him for more reasons than one. "Kirk, are you listening to me?"

He looked straight at her for the first time and then shook himself from his reverie. All his memories of Deshar had come flooding back into his mind the night before and he hadn't slept at all because of it. Because of this he decided it was a good idea to tell Natie right away what had happened on Deshar.

"So you said you had something to tell me about your past," Natie said, folding her arms over each other on the table. "Whatever it is you have to tell me, Kirk, I'm not going to run away from you because of it."

"_Kirk, stop!" _

"_Do you even know why Kay'la's dead, Kirk?" _

"_Miko is no longer your student, Kirk, I'm sorry." _

Kirk slumped onto the table with his head in his hands, his entire body shook. The fear on the faces of all his fellow Jedi floated to the surface and he gritted his teeth. "I couldn't stop myself… I killed them. Other Jedi… I-I killed them."

Natie's jaw remained shut out of shock. She continued to watch as the foundation of strength that Kirk normally kept up crumbled piece by piece as he continued to talk, "I don't even remember what happened, but I saw two children gunned down by a stormtrooper hiding on the planet, Deshar and then everything went blank, I don't even remember coming back from there."

Natie finally spoke, "Then how do you know you're the one who killed them?"

Kirk lifted his eyes to level with Natie's, "Because a month later I did remember everything," He sucked in a ragged breath, "And I told the order before I ran." He looked over his shoulder as a young Calamari child ran to the both where his parents were seated.

"If my daughter was alive now," He continued soberly, "I wouldn't be able to look her in the eyes after what I've done." The child let out a giggle and then tugged on his father's shirt, pointing energetically at the pastries behind the glass display attached to the counter. "No child deserves to know their parent has killed the same protectors that a child is supposed to revere and admire." Kirk watched as the father finally stood up and went to the counter to buy the pastry for his son. Kirk started as he felt the warmth of Natie's hand on his.

"She would be proud of you, Kirk," Natie said gently, "And I am too."

Kirk frowned at that, "Even though I told you I lost my apprentice and killed other Jedi?"

She sighed, "Kirk, nothing can change what you did. All you can do is change how you think about it and what you do because of it," Natie smiled a soft smile as she lightly touched his cheek, "I'm proud to know you because I know you're a strong person who tries to move forward instead of dwelling on something you're not anymore."

Kirk continued to scowl, "You said that about me before. How come nothing I tell you about my past disgusts or even frightens you?"

Natie grunted, "Because I know that's not who you are anymore. Like I said, I'm concerned with the now. I'm sure you want to be given another chance as badly as anyone else does. So are you going to take it or continue to blame yourself for something that happened over ten years ago?"

Kirk's eyes hardened, "I killed them, Natie, and I still see their faces every night. One of them was one of my best friends from the Academy. Are you going to say it's okay that I forgive myself for killing her too?"

"_I ran her through with my lightsaber, I don't want it anymore." Luke took the lightsaber and looked at his student with concern as he placed a hand on Kirk's shoulder._

"_You're not to blame for everything that happened on Deshar, it was out of your hands, Kirk," Luke said. Kirk shook his head and gripped his hands into fists._

"_No! It is my fault, just like Nina's death, I killed Kay'la with my own hands!" Kirk's hands shook and then uncurled themselves of their own accord. Luke placed both hands on Kirk's shoulders and forced the young man to look into his former master's blue eyes._

"_Kirk, whoever it was that you became on Deshar, isn't who you are. You have to believe that though in order for it to be true," Luke paused as Kirk sniffed and then stared blankly at his master. "You've had a hard life, Kirk. Nobody denies that. It's hard to find someone who understands that and is willing to give you a second chance. I know there will be someone and when you met that person," Luke gave Kirk a firm squeeze on his shoulders, "Let them forgive you."_

"Kirk, I want to be with you, because I love the person you are," Natie continued, "There will always be things we can't let go of, but I hope you'll let me show you that you're not the monster you think you are."

He opened his mouth and then shut it. If anything he wanted to pretend his past didn't happen and that Deshar was a figment of his imagination but it wasn't possible. All he could do was continue to live a life that avoided the kind of person he'd become, if only for a short time, on Deshar.

"But you can't accept the person I was," He said with a sense of resign. Natie looked at him for a moment before she sighed.

"I don't want to believe that the same person I see now is the same person who killed people in the past, but neither of us can change that fact. I want to be able to help you to realize that you _can _start over, Kirk."

"How? By forgetting my past?" Kirk demanded bitterly.

"No, by acknowledging it," Natie said firmly. Kirk stared at her blankly. "If you acknowledge what you've done, you're not denying it or running away. You're trying to change yourself based on what you know isn't right."

Kirk remained silent for a minute before he looked hesitantly into Natie's eyes, "I don't want to hurt anyone."

She nodded. "I know you don't."

He shivered a little, "I don't know how to move on. I've lived my entire life blaming myself for Deshar, for Nina, and for everything else."

"Mister?" Kirk turned his head to see the little calamari child standing next to Kirk's chair. "Are you a Jedi?"

Kirk paused and Natie gave him an affirmative nod. "I am."

The child's eyes widened, "Thank you for helping us!" The calamari boy then pressed the pastry into Kirk's hands before running off to join his parents, who nodded gratefully to Kirk before exiting the café's glass door. Kirk returned his gaze to Natie, who was smiling at him. He raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"You just got proved wrong, Kirk," She then waved the waitress over to order another caf while Kirk puzzled over what she meant.

**A/N- Sorry again for the delay. College is going to continue to prevent me from posting as often so please bear with me. Thanks! =)**


	45. Set The World on Fire

**Chapter 44**

**Set the World on Fire**

_A/N- Sorry for the delay in posting, I've had a busy start to my second semester of my freshman year of college. I'm still getting things together so there will probably be gaps in between the postings of all my stories (including this one). So thank you for your patience._

_I'll also be posting the next chapter of "Somewhere" possibly this weekend, so look for that too. "Remember" is still in the works, but I'm hoping I'll break through my writer's block soon so I can post the next chapter for that fic too. _

_Again, your patience is appreciated (as SW lovers I'm sure everyone has plenty of it). *Wink* _

_Without further ado, here's the next installment of "Life and the Force." _

_Best,_

_-Don =)_

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"_It was impossible. It would have failed."_

"_That's not true, how can you even say that?"_

"_Maybe because I already knew it was true."_

"_How?"_

"_I don't know. I just… knew that this was going to happen."_

_A silence, one of both relative peace and disturbing acceptance fell, "You had a vision and you still didn't try to avoid it?" Further silence and then a change in the force._

"_I want you to promise me something."_

"_What?"_

"_Don't hate me for this."_

"_For-?" A hand forced all thoughts away into peaceful oblivion._

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As the night slumbered on a strange and sharp stab surged through the force and Valin J.D. Solo woke with a start. The nightmares had become so frequent that he, even as a three year old, was calm enough to stop crying out after a while.

Valin's brandy brown eyes combed the small apartment. He could feel his mother's presence in the other room, sleeping and his sister nearby. With the force Valin could restrain and control what others sensed about him. He could keep pain to himself for months on end and no one would be the wiser, even his Uncle, Anakin Solo. Valin knew that Anakin Solo was powerful; it would take a very dim person not to notice that. Even non-Jedi were both awed and frightened of the young Jedi Knight.

Yes, Valin Solo knew. He knew many things that would frighten an adult to pieces. He even realized by now that there was a reason he never saw his father around. Naturally Tenel Ka hadn't told Valin or Rose who their father was or why he wasn't around, but Valin had his own ways of finding out.

Using the force to silence his footfalls, which even on the carpet made little sound, he went to the cabinet and retrieved the small metal holo-discs his mother had stashed away. During one of his recent sleepless nightmare evenings, Valin opened the topmost one and pressed the play button. The image of a man with wild brown hair and the same brandy brown eyes that Valin had himself emerged. With a broad grin the man began to speak.

"This is a story I heard when I was a little kid. It's called 'The Little Lost Bantha Cub,'" With that the man launched into the tale of how the little lost bantha cub lost his way and asked for help from the many aliens it met along its journey. "Your aunt Jaina and I got lost once and we thought the story was a good solution to finding our way back. I hope you and your sibling never have to go through that," The man laughed. "Valin, you're the oldest one so you should know that I'm not going to be in your life the way I should. But the force is strong in you and you have to take care of yourself and your family with it." A pained look crossed the man's face, "I love you, Valin. You'll always be my son, even though I probably won't be there to see you grow up." The smile returned, though faintly, "May the force be with you." Then the holo ended and though Valin couldn't see it, Tenel Ka was standing behind the door of her bedroom, trembling as tears streaked down her face.

* * *

Luke very nearly drew his lightsaber to cleave Rendon in half as soon as the words were out of the younger man's mouth, which in turn curled into an almost expectantly wry smile. Mara's firm grip on Luke's arm was the only thing keeping him calm.

"A traitor?" Luke snarled, "You mean to tell me all the death and kidnappings have been your fault?" He stepped forward but was halted but the firm voice of reason.

"Luke, he's telling the truth." Mara's grip loosened when she felt Luke's anger subside momentarily. They stepped back for a few seconds to speak in hushed tones.

"He could have meant himself," Luke said, "I know he wasn't lying but this could be a trick to get us to turn on each other."

"Rendon may have been against the New Republic in the beginning but I don't think he is now," Mara replied.

Luke sucked in his breath as his frustration broke through his usual mask of calm, "You _think_?" He cursed under his breath. "Mara, if we so much as tread wrongly here we'll be victims in the next attack or we'll be biting at each other's throats."

Mara raised her eyebrow, "Somehow, I doubt that I'd put it past you to hurt anyone willingly, Luke." He grunted and cast a wary glance over at Rendon before shifting uncomfortably.

"I just hope you know what you're doing."

"I always do, Farm Boy," Mara gave Luke a confident nod before walking back over to where Rendon was waiting patiently. He regarded Luke for a second before Rendon's gaze fell on Mara, who was reaching out with the force to sense for lies in Rendon's words, but found none. "Not I. I'm merely a pawn in a larger scheme. I feel like it is partly my fault for not informing you sooner, Jade."

Mara waved his comment aside with her hand with her fierce glare, "Forget it. I want to know who this traitor is and what your proof is."

Rendon looked skyward for s second before returning his cool gaze to Mara, "You have the proof yourself, Jade," He answered plainly, and almost wistfully, "Your own son could not have been kidnapped unless someone was orchestrating from the inside," He paused as though considering something and then continued calmly, "Your nephew was killed because someone drugged the Queen of Hapes." It wasn't a question. Mara felt a mutual shiver run down hers and Luke's spines.

"How do you know this?" Luke questioned with his tone icily calm.

Rendon turned his head and lifted his hand for silence. A crunching noise came from the brush and soon three dark cloaked figures emerged from the trees.

"Lord Roan," One of the figures said coldly, "Who are these people and why are you with them?"

"Do not ask pointless questions, Apprentice Hedric," Rendon's voice cut into any further protests the figure was about to speak.

"Yes, My Lord," The figure fell back respectfully among the two other figures. Mara's eyes narrowed.

"Rendon, what is this?" She questioned. Rendon looked at Mara with an almost sympathetic expression.

"I'm sorry it has to be this way, Jade," He turned the blaster on Mara and then a blue stun bolt hit her straight in the chest. Luke reacted immediately and reached automatically for his lightsaber, calling the metal cylinder into his hand and palmed it to life.

"Once for the Empire, always for the empire," The zealous look in Rendon's eyes told Luke that this man, whoever he was, he wasn't playing around. The other figures, however, remained standing by, as though waiting for some kind of sign from their leader.

Luke's blue eyes turned abruptly as around two hundred black armored troops crashed through the foliage and all trained their blasters on him, the expressionless masks, despite their black color, had identical resemblance to the masks of the stormtroopers from the days of the Empire. More crunching and Luke turned to see more troopers approaching from behind, these were white armored soldiers but had Clone Trooper armor and an insignia on their shoulder pads shaped like the Empire's old symbol, only it had a familiar red slash.

"Sith," Luke breathed. So Exar Kun wasn't the last of the brotherhood. There were far more sith in hiding and they had united with Xillanor and his troops.

"As a courtesy to an old friend and ally," Rendon's cool voice said, "I will not kill Mara Jade."

"I feel an enormous 'if' coming," Luke said sardonically, his lip curling into a wry smile. He gathered Mara's unconscious form into his arms and glared at Rendon. His expression remained impassive as he continued as though he hadn't heard Luke.

"You will come with us without contacting anyone and you will oblige any command we give you," Rendon said. He nodded and two of the Clone Troopers escorted another figure forward that Luke immediately recognized as the missing Sytar from Zenoma Sekot.

"You kidnapped the Sytars!" Luke growled as realization dawned on him, "And you murdered Jacen!"

Rendon regarded Luke as though he was a child who had spoken out of turn, "Do you agree to the terms, Luke Skywalker?"

Luke's eyes went to Mara, who had not stirred and whose current state was one that even she couldn't fight in. "Yes." He said, his tone heavy with what he knew would be the consequences of his acceptance. Rendon nodded to the troopers who pushed the Sytar forward.

"Stand still," A trooper's filtered voice commanded from behind Luke as the Sytar reluctantly pressed his fingers to Luke's forehead.

"I am sorry, Master Jedi," The Sytar bowed his head shamefully and a moment later Luke Skywalker vanished from the force.

* * *

Kirk Dekim watched silently as the white robed figure crossed the shiny white floor and folded clasped his hands meditatively in front of him as he scanned Kirk's face. The figure was not much older than Kirk was, yet he had age lining the deepest parts of his eyes and within his silent was a sense of grim acceptance of what Kirk's presence meant.

"I know why you have come, Kirk Dekim," The figure said, his brow creased for a brief moment before flattening. "But I cannot help you."

Kirk reached into the folds of his own robe and retrieved a small holo-disc. "You can and will," Vibrant green eyes met the amethyst eyes of the white robed bothan. "Nehris Dok'lar, I have no doubt that you might want to put me away permanently in your holo-records but you and I both know that you were placed in the temple of records for another reason than burying the past."

Nehris sighed audibly, "You haven't changed, Kirk. I am surprised that Deshar did not teach you to heed the warnings available to you."

"I don't listen to prophetic nonsense," Kirk replied plainly, his face tight with the tension he already felt in his bones.

"It is not nonsense if what I saw came true," Nehris replied calmly, and with a touch of sadness. "That is what you came to tell me, is it not?"

Kirk's eyes wandered to the newly reconstructed library of holo-records and transcripts dating back to the early years of the Old Republic. Some of course were missing but many had been gathered from the old temple of records that Emperor Palpatine had closed off and destroyed most of the records inside of the temple. The blow was devastating to the rebels who found the temple soon after the Second Death Star was destroyed. Luke Skywalker had made it his duty to resurrect the records of the Jedi as much as possible. With the help of the Jedi historian, Tionne Solusar, many of the tales were rerecorded and stored. Nehris was selected to be the Master of the Temple Records by the Jedi Masters. Or simply Records Master, as the title had been shortened to.

Kirk didn't let any of his emotions show as he replied slowly, "Deshar was a disaster that no one should have been exposed to but there is a recording of it that must be stored," Kirk held out the holo-disc once more. His fingers tightened over the edges. Nehris frowned deeply as he took the disc from Kirk's hand.

"How did you get this recording?" The Bothan's eyes combed the disc before lifting to gaze intently at Kirk, who returned the gaze unwaveringly.

"Every mission we went on," Kirk replied, his voice slow and heavy once more, "We brought someone along who could record the mission for the Temple Records." Nehris' flinch was visible as he realized what Kirk was saying.

"She's dead, isn't she?" The Records Master felt a lurch as Kirk nodded solemnly.

"It was my fault, Nehris, and this record will attest to that," He lowered his gaze finally as the shame set in. "I should have listened to you."

Nehris looked on Kirk with a mixture of Nehris' own pain at the loss of a mutual friend and the sympathy he had towards Kirk for managing to remain standing for so long after Kirk had, however indirectly, caused the deaths of so many of Nehris and Kirk's friends.

"I did not see her death," Nehris said tonelessly, as though not believing his own words as he spoke them, His adam's apple pulsed visibly as he swallowed. "I saw yours."

* * *

Anakin jumped backwards as the lightning struck where he'd been sitting just moments before. He skidded across the floor, immediately drawing and igniting his lightsaber in a swift motion. As he stood up once more, he looked to his right and noticed Zekk and Vua Rapuung had also drawn their weapons. Vua Rapuung had his usual expression of fierce calm and Zekk's green eyes remained stoic but Anakin sensed the determination behind them. The other patrons in the bar began to disperse and the already annoyed bartender had retreated to call in the New Republic's police. Unfortunately, that was probably not going to be enough to quell the rage coming from Uldir as more sparks emitted from his fingertips. His eyes rested on Anakin.

"Don't you forget, Solo," Uldir said coldly, "You are not, and will never be, strong." More sparks erupted and this time they were more directed than the random bout Uldir had shot before. The lightning bolts seemed to stretch and then wrapped themselves around Anakin's lightsaber like a rope. The bolts then crackled and tore at Anakin's hands and the metal of his lightsaber. He then grimaced as he freed one of his hands and stretched out his own fingertips.

Zekk's eyes widened and then narrowed as he reached out to shove Vua Rapuung back, "This is bad, get back!" He yelled for the entire bar to hear. All the remaining patrons, including the now perplexed bartender backed away as flames erupted from Anakin's fingertips and engulfed themselves around Uldir before he dispelled the flames with his lightning.

Uldir backed up and his yellow eyes glowed, all the natural white had disappeared and the single black pupils rested on Anakin unblinkingly. "So you have embraced the dark side then." Uldir's mouth curled into a smile of approval. "A wise choice."

Anakin let out a calming breath before he lifted his lightsaber and extended his hand and a purple-red flame grew forth, licking at Anakin's palm but he was beyond feeling the pain, there was a feeling eating away at his insides. The flames swarmed towards Uldir and ripped through all the tables and chairs in its path in the process. Uldir leaped to the side but the flames followed him. Once the tips of the flames touched his arm, they latched on and wrapped around Uldir's entire arm. He let out a roar and a large bolt of lightning crackled to life and struck Anakin straight in the chest.

If he had been in natural state of being, Anakin Solo would have died. But he remained standing despite that his clothes were burned away for the most part and the now rags steamed. His blue eyes glowed and he raised his hand once more to blast Uldir with flames. The other boy staggered backwards into a table, upending it and then pushed himself back to his already shaking feet.

At that moment the New Republic soldiers had arrived but Zekk held out his hand. "Don't get in between them!"

One unfortunate soldier didn't hear Zekk's warning shout and the soldier rushed forward, firing on Uldir. The boy turned for a moment, as though regarding a particularly annoying fly before electrocuting the soldier to death with a bout of lightening. The other soldiers remained at bay, helpless to watch the fight unfold. Zekk's eyes focused on Anakin, who was clearly trying to fight a losing battle over his anger. Uldir wasn't helping matters either. The enraged young man let loose a string of lightning bolts followed by a slash with his lightsaber. The blade caught Anakin in the arm, which released wild stream of flames that captured Uldir and half of the bar in its wake.

With the fire licking at their surroundings, Anakin and UIdir stared each other down, both breathing heavily. Footfalls came from the entrance as a new set of eyes rested on the fighting pair.

"Step aside, Zekk," The new voice commanded. The dark haired man looked up and nodded in slight surprise.

Anakin felt himself unable to move, his body seized up as what seemed like cold daggers piercing through his skin and clenching his insides. The grip tightened and Anakin's heart throbbed violently as two consecutive bouts of lightening thrust through him. His knees gave and he pushed himself up to summon his remaining strength. He didn't even hear the familiar voice call out to him right before his entire body burst out in flames.

"Anakin!"

* * *

Tahiri felt it. As clearly as it were her own body in pain, she felt the burning sensation creeping across her skin.

"Anakin," Her barely audible voice said absently, her hand went to her stomach. There was something horribly wrong and Anakin was at the center of it. Whether or not he had caused it or was simply a victim or a possible solution, Tahiri knew she couldn't sit and wait until she knew what was happening.

She had to act and fast.

* * *

Kirk frowned deeply. "Me?"

Nehris nodded firmly. "Yes, I saw your death at the forefront of my vision. It was the clearest."

Kirk felt a cold shiver run down his spine. "Was I supposed to die on Deshar?"

Nehris inhaled before shaking his white furred head, "No, you were not. But your death is still a distinct possibility as everything I had foreseen in my vision of Deshar had come to pass."

Kirk's brow creased even further as confusion lit his eyes, "Wait, I thought you said you hadn't seen her death."

Nehris sighed, "I did not see it," He replied with a heavier tone than before, "All I saw was an air of terror and a general feeling of shame from Deshar's aftermath. I knew that you would be the one to set that small world on fire. It was your hand that would cause pain for you, and your hand alone."

Kirk's eyes flared and he knocked Nehris back a few paces, "My hand? It wasn't my fault that those kids were killed!" Nehris did not seem in the least bit frightened of Kirk. On the bothan's face was an expression of sober acceptance, one of knowing. Nehris still knew something Kirk didn't.

"Your hand did not need to strike down those soldiers however," Nehris replied plainly. Kirk's face remained grief stricken and distant as if he had not heard a word Nehris had uttered. "It was your hand that caused a pain that only your hand can remove."

Kirk's head jerked around abruptly, now finally taking in Nehris in his entirety. "How?"

The bothan clapped his hands and two small robed children came running from behind the rows of record shelves. "Masster Recorder?" One of the children, a barabel, hissed.

"Please retrieve record number 2390990, Padawan Ketz." The barabel inclined his head and then scurried off. The second, a bothan like Nehris, remained.

"Kirk, this is my nephew, Jekis," The small bothan's navy blue eyes regarded Kirk with a calm that not even Luke Skywalker could manage. "He is a new padawan in training at the Temple of Records and is looking for his first master."

Kirk opened his mouth and then shut it, now realizing why Nehris had summoned the bothan child, who was at least seven years old. "He has had much training in the force and learned from all the records here."

"You know I can't take him," Kirk replied firmly.

"There is no other choice, Kirk," Nehris said with a hint of tension in his voice. Nehris was rarely ever strained and when he was, he didn't show it. That Kirk noticed it now was a sign of how important Jekis' training was to his uncle. "The truth is," Nehris said slowly, "Jekis is my son."

"Your son, but you told me-" Kirk clamped his own mouth shut as realization hit him. The constant fighting among bothans for power was a deeply rooted struggle but Kirk would never had thought it would stretch into Nehris' own family.

"Master Dekim, I ask you this as a fellow Jedi," The bothan's eyes pleaded and dug deep into the sympathetic side of Kirk Dekim, which had become more exposed over the past year or so.

"What happened to your clan, Nehris?" Kirk asked, his eyes fixated unwaveringly on Nehris.

Nehris opened his mouth, licked his lips nervously and then replied in a low tone, "They were all wiped out."

Kirk's eyes widened, "All of them?"

"Yes."

Kirk's insides twisted, "Who did this?"

Nehris licked his lips once more. "A bounty hunter named Xillanor."

Kirk's body tensed. "Jekis is the only remaining member of your immediate family?" Nehris nodded. "Kriff." He ran a hand through his hair and then looked down at the young bothan, whose expression was calm but hid a silent fear that ate away at him by the minute. If Xillanor was hunting down Nehris' clan, pretending Jekis was an orphan and hiding him with a Jedi Master would be the best option. Kirk placed a hand on Jekis' shoulder.

"I'll take care of him, but I'll have to cut all connections to you, Nehris," Kirk said grimly. Nehris nodded with a heavy sigh. The second padawan came back with a holo-record in his scaly hands and handed it to Nehris before bowing and running back to the file room.

"This is important to keep safe, Kirk," Nehris said and Kirk took the holo-record, holding it tentatively before looking questioningly at Nehris. "In time you will understand why I told you as little as I did, but for now you must go."

Kirk raised an eyebrow, "You learned more from Master Skywalker than you think. He was just as annoyingly vague and wistful as you are."

Nehris' mouth curled into a warm but still wry smile, "So it would seem. May the force be with you, Kirk Dekim."

Kirk inclined his head, "And you, Nehris Dok'lar." Then Kirk was gone with Jekis.

Nehris looked around as the small padawan gave the bothan a questioning look, "Masster Recorder?"

"It is time, Ketz," Nehris said calmly and the young padawan nodded. Moments later the doors to the temple opened a clatter of armor echoed through the temple's open halls. Blaster fire ripped through the shelves and struck the holo-discs. The most important ones were hidden away where only Nehris knew where to find them. He turned as the lasers came closer and the listless white and black armored troops clomped into view before they rained their stream of fire on Nehris. His chest burned but only for a moment. A smile remained on his face before the Jedi Recorder vanished entirely, leaving only his white robe behind him.

**A/N- More is on the way. Thanks for reading! =) **


	46. To Be Alone With You

**Chapter 45**

**To Be Alone With You**

_A/N- Sorry again for the delay, I thought I'd get the next chapter up earlier but it ended up taking more time than I anticipated. So you can smack me for that. *Braces for impact*_

**Iluvsugarcookies- **I'm glad you're enjoying it. One day? *Whistles* I'm impressed. How long did it take you to read parts 1 and 2? I hope you enjoy this update. =)

_Anyhoo, this chapter definitely has some interesting progressions on the romance front and some more character development on the part of a few of my OCs. _

_In any case, please enjoy and as always the green button is the best form of love. So if you like the chapter and/or the story… well, you know what to do. _

_-Don ^_^_

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Miko Reglia sighed and ran a furtive hand through his dark hair. It was hard to believe that after all he'd been through in his life he was barely twenty three years old. Something didn't seem quite right about that. Although the fact remained that he had been taken under Kirk Dekim's wing when Kirk was barely twenty years old himself, Miko could hardly believe that in a decade he was still a youth in the eyes of most of the galaxy. Or the simple truth that he was just like Kirk was in many ways. Miko lead a solitary life and had pushed away any form of warmth. Whether in the way of friendship or in the way of family, Miko rejected them all: because he knew he didn't deserve any of that. He had long given up his right to happiness: he had forgone that right when he picked up the blade of the dark Jedi and cut down far too many victims to count. Worst of all Miko couldn't even remember their faces. At least Kirk Dekim remembered his victims. Miko knew Kirk hadn't forgotten them because he spent the majority of their days in the covert ops listening to Kirk's strangled cries and his desolate sleep walks.

But Miko slept at night, oh he slept well. It was frightening how little Miko had cared for the better of his life. Even with Luke Skywalker looking after Miko and his new master, Kam Solusar teaching Miko everything Kam knew, Miko continued to be a lost cause on the revival front. Miko had already drenched himself in Kirk's teachings and had drowned in it for so long that he'd forgotten what it was like to taste the fresh air at the surface.

Now that he had, Miko was inevitably lost. He didn't have a happy-go-lucky bounty hunter to convince him that he wasn't the scum of the earth. He knew he was and nothing, not even Kirk himself could convince Miko otherwise. Feet clacked across the floor of the cockpit.

"We're ready, Miko," Matek Karrde regarded his longtime comrade for a minute before he spoke once more, "You haven't been sleeping."

Miko stood up and walked past Matek with a curt, "Mind your own business, Matek." The other watched Miko stalk out of the cockpit with concern in Matek Karrde's eyes. If anyone knew that Miko Reglia had been rattled by the recent events, it was Matek. Kam Solusar's death had hurt Miko deeply and recently fading connection between Kirk and Miko hadn't helped matters much.

"I wonder if he knows." Matek said quietly, "That Kirk still cares." As there was no one left in the cockpit, Matek received the only answer he was expecting: silence.

* * *

Kirk let out a raspy breath as he felt the lives of the Jedi at the Temple of Records die out. It was almost surreal how quickly they faded, as though all of them had been expecting their lives to be taken. How, Kirk didn't know. It was a complete mystery why he now had a student when he was forbidden to teach new Jedi potentials without permission after the Deshar fiasco. There was no doubt in Kirk Dekim's mind that the Jedi Council would seek to take Jekis away from Kirk. But he wasn't about to let that happen. Not when Jekis' own father had been killed so recently along with the rest of the young Padawan's family.

Kirk turned his head to look over at the young bothan, curled up in the co-pilot's chair, his head resting on the armrest. The peaceful look was a deception to anyone, except Kirk. He knew better than to mistake the expressions shown in one's sleep as the true nature of anyone, especially a Jedi. Kirk switched the ship onto auto-pilot and walked to the closet where he retrieved a rough woolen blanket that he draped over Jekis' before Kirk sat down in the pilot's chair to resume plotting a course for Coruscant.

* * *

Anakin felt himself reach out to find that he couldn't touch anything around him. The space around him was almost completely empty. He squinted and then shut his eyes again.

_Anakin, wake up._

He shook his head. "There's nothing to see."

_Wake up._

Slowly Anakin's eyes opened and he almost did a double-take at what he saw.

"You-you're," Anakin shook his head. "No, it can't be."

_If I wasn't, there wouldn't be any way for me to reach you._

Anakin swallowed hard. If he was seeing what he was, then there was definitely something wrong. He reached out in the force but found that he could only sense himself. As if to prove his initial feeling, the figure took a step closer to Anakin, causing him to flinch visibly.

_Do you fear me that much?_

Anakin scowled, "You're the reason I'm in so much trouble right now."

The figure stepped forward so the little light that was in the swirling black energy around them cast a brief glow on the side of the round helmet, which glinted. "No, I am the reason you will survive this fight, Anakin."

"No!" Anakin shouted and the energy around him balked and tightened around the figure. "I'm not you, and I never will be!"

A dark leathered hand grasped Anakin's shoulder. "The flames have already consumed you, Anakin. Let the darkness guide you."

With a low cry of determined anger, Anakin's hand lashed out and a flame struck the figure, whose expressionless black mask began to melt and burn away as the flames flickered and reflected in Anakin's eyes.

"I'm not you." He breathed heavily, "I…" Without warning the black energy swirls swarmed in and dragged Anakin into its depths. "Am not you, Vader!" Anakin's eyes shot open and a purple jet of light shot from his fingertips and ripped the swirls to pieces. He took a heavy breath to calm himself and then strode forward, his ice blue eyes flaring once before they abruptly turned a shade of purple with hints of dark blue around the edges.

"There's no turning back, you realize."

Anakin turned his head around, regarding the speaker calmly, "If I didn't know that, I wouldn't have embraced the dark side just now," Anakin let the silence fall before he spoke again, "Synthor."

The Sytar strode lightly across the violet flames now emitting from around Anakin. "The only thing between you and the flames is this," Synthor gestured to the purple flames, which curled around Anakin's hand and then was absorbed. He smiled at Synthor.

"The force is not for the weak hearted." The Sytar's lip twitched into an amused smile as Anakin faded from the dark void.

"No it is not."

* * *

Tahiri let out a ragged breath as she slowed her mad sprint to the bar where she'd felt Anakin's force presence surge from. When she caught her breath and managed to look up, what she saw made her insides twist and her eyes widened in shock.

The entire bar was in ruins. Its tables, chairs, and even the bar were charred black and parts of the walls lay in rubble on the floor. In the center of the wreckage was a familiar chestnut haired person shooting blue lightning bolts at the form of a brown haired man engulfed in a sea of flames. Abruptly the flames vanished and a purple hue glowed off of the man before the flames returned and then swallowed the now seemingly small form of Uldir. He jumped back but couldn't avoid the flames as they flashed once and burned his arms and then knocked him backwards. Tahiri's fear raised a lump in her throat and then she pushed forward until she could properly see the fight.

"Anakin!" She yelled. The flames surged again and Anakin's eyes remained trained on Uldir. Tahiri bit her lip and then started forward but a hand caught her shoulder and held her firmly in place.

"You can't go in there, Tahiri, both of them are too far gone to listen to anyone," She turned her head up to look in the serious green eyes of Zekk. The blonde haired man wore a grim expression but behind his front of strength was fear, a feeling Tahiri knew she shared.

"We can't just let them kill each other," She breathed out finally. Zekk nodded.

"Leave that to our backup," Zekk gritted his teeth, and Tahiri got the definite feeling of hesitation from Zekk. He didn't want to trust the situation to anyone else any more than Tahiri did. She frowned.

"Who's our backup?" She questioned. He jerked his head to the side. Tahiri looked to the side as a dark haired figure suddenly appeared in between the two battling men. Without batting his eyes, the figure spread his arms so he was standing sideways, his palms pointing at the incoming flames and lightening. Tahiri's voice was drowned out by the explosion of energy that sent a gust of wind through the entire bar and shattered all the windows before slamming the remaining pieces of furniture against the already demolished walls.

Footfalls sounded behind Tahiri and she turned as an unfamiliar man stood behind her, his expression one of awe and silent reservation. Without another word the robed figure between Uldir and Anakin waved his hand and extinguished the flames around Anakin before she felt a strong surge in the force as the figure knocked Uldir unconscious. Then the figure bent over and picked up Anakin in the figure's arms and strode over to where Tahiri and Zekk waited.

"Why did you do that, Kirk, you could have killed both of them, not to mention yourself," The dark haired man snapped as he stepped out from behind Tahiri. Kirk Dekim's green eyes rested on the man before he responded.

"It wouldn't have, this is a technique that has been kept a secret since the days of the Old Republic," Kirk said, his firm gaze held. "Learning it was a price I had to pay, Miko."

A flare of protest rose in the younger man's eyes but he said nothing. "Fine." The man turned on his heel and stalked off down the streets of Coruscant. Kirk watched him leave with a calm expression.

"Shouldn't you go after him?" Zekk asked. The fact that Kirk had just simply spoken so simply to the man and then let him stalk off into Coruscant made Zekk worry that the dark haired man called Miko was someone dangerous.

Kirk shook his head as he shifted so Anakin's unconscious form was snugly tucked into Kirk's arms. "No," A small smile formed on his lips, "I know my student well enough: he'll get over this quickly enough. Now we must get Anakin to the hospital." Kirk walked towards the crowd of spectators, which parted to let the small group of robed people through. As they departed another dark robed figure made his way over to where Uldir lay unconscious and lifted him up before disappearing from the view of the soldiers swarming the demolished bar.

* * *

"Ow," Kirk winced visibly as Natie pressed a cool cloth to one of his many burns.

"Don't be such a baby, Kirk, it's your fault that you decided to jump in between two crazed Jedi," She pressed the cloth against his arm again and he let out a yelp and glared at her. Natie raised an eyebrow. Kirk had left Jekis with a still stubbornly annoyed Miko until Kirk knew what to do about the young Jedi potential. But the thoughts of the young bothan went from Kirk's mind as he saw Natie's expression.

"Well, it seemed like a good solution at the time," Kirk muttered and the cold cloth smacked against his face. "Did you have to throw that at me?"

"It got you to stop talking like an idiot," She replied flatly. Kirk removed the cloth from his face and looked over as Natie retrieved some bacta patches from the First-Aid kit on the table of Natie's apartment. She lightly touched his back as she placed the box on the table and Kirk's face contorted before he could suppress the pain with the force. "You burned your back, didn't you," She stated plainly rather than asked. He turned his head away.

"It's not a problem," Kirk replied firmly. Natie apparently didn't agree because she didn't budge from where she was standing. She folded her arms across her chest.

"Kirk, don't be stupid, you really burned yourself badly back there and the sooner you-" Natie's voice stopped short in her throat as Kirk abruptly stripped of his tunic leaving his bare back to Natie. It wasn't the burns that had really stalled her as much as the other number of scars that lined his back. Kirk Dekim's entire back was covered in so many scars that it was hard to find a single patch of skin that was left unscathed. Some of the scars were clearly remains of gashes and others of welts. She sucked in her breath.

"What the kriff happened to you?" She questioned finally after several minutes of silence. He didn't turn his head as he responded in a deadpan tone.

"I was captured by a group of sith," Kirk replied simply, "They took a lot of pride in their ability to torture their prisoners. I worked in a labor camp for a while before I broke out." The soberness with which he said this made Natie feel that there was something else that he wasn't mentioning. Not to mention how disjointed his statements were when he made them.

"How did you get out?" She asked softly. Finally his green eyes rotated with his head and came to calmly rest on her.

"I escaped when they were escorting us back to the cells," He averted his eyes once more, "But not before my back was hit by their lightsabers." Kirk lowered his gaze to the floor. "It was before Luke took me in. I was there for seven months when I was eight." Natie regarded him with a mix of shock and empathy. Her eyes fixated on one particular scar that ran from the back of Kirk's neck to the end of his spine. As though he sensed the direction of her eyes, Kirk answered her unasked question, "One of the sith slashed my back on my second escape attempt," Kirk smiled wryly, "He thought it was funny that I didn't cry when he had his blade in my back." When Natie thought he was done with his story, Kirk continued, the pain in his voice was evident as he recalled the memory, "The sith dragged the lightsaber down my back and then he continued to hit my back until one of the others decided to spare me the pain by knocking me out," He indicated this by pointing to left side of his head. "You can't see the scar because of my hair." Kirk started for a second as Natie wrapped her arms around him. He felt his resistance to the gesture go down and he rested his head against her shoulder. She only pulled away when she reached out to take the bacta patches and gently placed them over the burns on his back. The soft touch of her fingers against his rough skin was a nice contrast for Kirk. He wasn't used to the sensation of warmth that resonated from every patch and the lingering of her palm on his bare skin afterwards. He suddenly took a second to realize that she had stopped and he turned his head around. His body slowly rotated and he cupped her face in one of his rough skinned hands. No time was wasted between when he subconsciously decided to kiss her and when his lips were pressed firmly against hers.

At first Natie seemed slightly taken aback by his sudden show of affection but quickly got over her initial surprise in time to bring one of her hands behind his neck to pull him closer and then other buried itself in his messy hair. Kirk responded by leaning in further and brought his hand behind her back to push her up against him. Natie gave a soft mumble of satisfaction before she pushed forward herself. Kirk's lip curled up in amusement and he leaned over and kissed her on the ear, causing Natie to laugh before she caught his lips again as a distraction from the new ticklish spot he'd just found.

Kirk's heart sped up a few beats as he moved to the end of his chair and ran his own hand slowly down Natie's hair before his kissed her neck. Kirk then felt his head rising and saw that Natie had lifted it with her hand. A confident pair of eyes stared into Kirk's and without another word he stood from his chair, pulling Natie up with him. He lightly brushed his lips against her forehead and then brought his fingers tentatively close to her cheeks. A moment passed where neither of them moved a muscle and they simply took each other in like there was something in each other that they had never seen before.

Natie could feel her heart thudding in her ears and all the way to the ends of all her nerves. Everything seemed more sensitive now that they were a little more than a hair's breadth away from one another. Kirk's hands gently took Natie's face in them and he leaned in once again. His breath tickled against the surface of her skin and the warm waves that washed over her caused a genuine smile to creep onto her lips. Kirk pulled back slightly, now aware that his own green eyes were filled with a vibrantly soft affection because of how Natie looked back at him. Neither one of them needed to say much of anything before the gap was closed once more between their bodies and lips.

Years of impassiveness and the steeling of his heart and emotions left Kirk stunned speechless by how much emotion he could feel from himself and thus from the force. The force was an embodiment of one's emotions in many ways, or so Kirk had discovered when he began his decade long journey away from his past. Whatever he felt internally is what came out of his use of the force. Right now the usually roiling bitterness in his stomach and eyes was absent as though it had never been there in the first place.

"Something wrong, Mr. Jedi?" Natie teased, giving Kirk an arched brow. She waited a split second, anticipating his but was met with confusion as a grin spread across his face and he brought his hands behind her neck to bring her lips onto his before letting go and starting back towards the chair that until this moment he hadn't even realized he'd left. His green eyes glowed for a second as he regarded Natie from where he stood. When he turned his back to her to pick up his shirt she crossed over and touched him from behind. It only took her a second to realize that this was a mistake when Kirk's entire body connected with hers, lips taking in her neck, cheeks, forehead and then her lips with a fervor that she'd only seen him use while fighting in a battle. Natie regained her composure enough to kiss him harder and it seemed like ages ago that she'd breathed when they finally let go.

Kirk reached out to caress her arm and then hesitated for a second, meeting her eyes. Even though Natie wasn't force sensitive she could tell what Kirk was thinking. She touched his chest lightly, feeling the heavy and quick thudding beneath his skin. "It's okay, Kirk." When he didn't move she took his hands in hers and brought them to her own breast. He shifted slightly as the lively thumping under his fingertips sent tremors through his own skin. "I won't leave."

He swallowed, "You don't know that." She shrugged.

"What do we know, Kirk? If we spent our lives thinking we know what is how can we know what could be?" She held firmly onto his hands even when his slight trembles threatened to pull him away from her.

"I," Kirk's eyes shut and then reopened, "I don't want to lose you."

"Then don't," Natie replied calmly and with a hint of agitation, "There is no death, there is the force." She quirked a grin at him before he shook his head as his own smile returned.

"You've never dated a Jedi, have you?" He questioned. Natie shook her head.

"Nope, but I'm sure there are plenty of people who'll vouch that it's a forceful experience," Kirk's brow went up and before responding he eliminated the space between them while tossing his shirt back over the chair.

"You're something else, Natie," He whispered and with that all his walls crumbled and he leaned into her, his body snugly easing against hers. Natie pushed him back and for a second Kirk's eyes lit with a fear that had been abandoned moments before.

"Are you sure you want this?" She questioned. Kirk's mouth curled up at the sides.

"There's nothing you've thrown at me that I haven't been able to handle-" He began before something smacked him in the face. He tugged the weighted item from obscuring his eyes and looking down to find Natie's coveralls in his hands. A full grin stretched from one of his ears to the other. "I'm always up for a challenge though."

* * *

Tahiri's head went up abruptly from its position of sleep on the armrest as the door to the ICU creaked open and a doctor walked over to her. Before she could voice her question the doctor held up a hand and stalled any words she'd worked up into her mouth.

"He's fine, the burns didn't leave any permanent damage and he should be ready to leave in a few days," The doctor watched carefully as Tahiri let out a yawn and nodded sleepily. The relief at hearing that Anakin's burns weren't serious left her completely wiped out and she slumped further into her chair.

"You should go home, Ms.-" He paused to look questioningly at the dreary eyed young woman in front of him.

"Solo," Tahiri replied and received a slightly surprised look from the doctor as he checked his clipboard for Anakin's name. A smile twitched its way across her face. "Sorry, Mrs. Solo."

She waved her hand in dismissal, "It's okay, we get that a lot." Tahiri would have laughed but she was too tired to manage even that. She'd been up all night waiting for the news about Anakin's condition and refused to leave even when Han forcibly dragged Leia away. Zekk and Jaina remained longer but after Jaina fell asleep on the chair next to Tahiri's, Zekk lifted Jaina up and took her home. On the way out he gave Tahiri a nod, which she understood to mean "keep us posted." But that had been over two hours ago. Now it was six am and Tahiri hadn't slept a wink. She rubbed her eyes and nearly jumped as she felt something warm against her hand.

"You're going to need this," Tahiri lifted her head and felt herself nod numbly as she heard the scraping of the chair next to her as the person sat down.

"Thanks." She managed and took a small drink of the coffee and somehow managed to get past the horrible quality of the hospital's caf. "Why aren't you with Wyn?" James leaned back in his chair, stretching his legs out while stuffing his hands into the pockets of his flight jacket.

"She decided to go spend some time with her older brother so I gave her some space," He looked decidedly down at the floor. Tahiri could sense that there was something else going on that he wasn't mentioning but she left it alone. She knew James would open up when he was ready to.

"I'm a terrible person," James said in an almost faint voice. Tahiri's head jerked over, causing her head to hurt for a moment.

"James, we both know you can be a real arse sometimes but you're not a terrible person at heart," Tahiri said firmly. James looked up at Tahiri with hesitant gray eyes. "What makes you think that now of all times?"

James continued to avert his eyes until he felt Tahiri's harsh gaze burning into the side of his head, "Promise me you won't mention this to Wyn."

Tahiri blinked, "What?"

"She can't know, Tahiri, it'll crush her," James said, desperation heavily lacing his tone. "Promise me."

"I don't know," Tahiri replied, searching the force for any hints as to what James was thinking but he was getting good at hiding his thoughts now that he was training to become a Jedi. James swallowed hard and Tahiri felt his terror flowing as though it were her own feeling.

"Tahiri, I need your word, please," James pleaded. Finally Tahiri nodded.

"I promise," She said, knowing that it would be difficult no matter what to keep the promise but she had to try if it was as bad as the feeling she was getting from James.

"You know how my foster parents were freighters?" James said slowly.

Tahiri nodded, not sure where he was going with his statement. "Well, I didn't actually know anything about their jobs, they were usually away and even when I went with them to ship stuff I never saw the cargo."

Tahiri's eyes narrowed in confusion, "James, what are you saying?"

"My parents weren't shipping food and machine parts like they said they were," James' face contorted into one of anger and disbelief. "They were shipping stormtrooper armor," He paused, "And clones… of me."

**A/N- I spent a really long time working on the Natie/Kirk scene so I hope you all liked it. Sorry again for taking so long to post, as I've said before my college work takes precedence over my fan fiction and I've been busy with essays and stuff. It'll probably be that way for a while, so I appreciate your patience. Thanks for reading! =) **


	47. Casting Shadows

**Chapter 46**

**Casting Shadows **

_A/N- Thanks once again for your patience, Everyone. I'm doing my best to update as often as a I can but as always college requires a lot of time that is taken away from my fan fiction writing. I'm glad that you all have hung in there as long as you have. =) Not to mention that I fell off a swing-set that was pretty high off the ground (and went to the hospital on last week -Thursday night- and was discharged at 12 am Friday morning) so I'm still recovering from a minor head injury, so I'll probably be spending most of my time making up work for college._

**Iluvsugarcookies- **Aw, thanks. =) I'm glad you enjoy reading about Natie. She's one my favorite OCs to write besides Kirk. There's an OC character poll on my profile if you want to vote in that. Wow. You're not crazy. I finished a 550 page novel pretty much in one day –yesterday, now _that's_ crazy. =) Heh, I'm glad you like my work. It's been fun hearing what you think. Thanks for reading and reviewing once again!

_Well, I'm sorry again for the delays and the fact that these chapters are shorter than the earlier ones. I hope they're still satisfactory. _

_A special thank you to my beta, jediluver033, for being awesome and thanks to William D. J. Watson for supplying me with ideas on Anakin and Tahiri for this fic. You guys rule! =) _

_As always, it's a pleasure writing for you._

_Best,_

_-Don ^_^_

* * *

Natie sat forward and blinked the sleep from her eyes, letting the cover blanket roll back down a few inches. Kirk was already awake and when he saw that she was too he smiled at her. His body leaned forward, head resting on his hand as his elbow dug into the mattress. His hair was darkened by the sweat that plastered his bangs against his forehead. Natie reached over and brushed the bangs from his forehead and pressed her lips to the skin it revealed underneath. He responded in kind by leaning over to tenderly brush the fingers of his free hand across her cheek before he pulled her over so he could touch his lips to hers. Natie pulled away only to fervently kiss him to the point where he simply enjoyed the amount of energy she was putting into the gesture. Her hands ran up through his sweaty hair and then down his back before she leaned back to look into his now gently amazed eyes.

"Good morning to you too," He said with an amused smile. Natie chuckled at that.

"Morning, Kirk," She said and the affection in the use of his name was clear as day. A moment passed as she took in his appearance.

"I could use a shower, huh?" Kirk said, sensing her thoughts.

"I don't know," She said with a grin, "I like your 'devil may care' appearance right now." Kirk's brow went up, barely hiding the almost sly smirk working its way onto his lips.

"Do you now?" Kirk leaned over to tickle Natie just behind her ear where he knew she was incredibly sensitive. She let out a wail and began laughing hard. She pushed him back but her smile didn't fade. With a jolt Kirk sat forward as a searing pain shot through his entire body. His grimace didn't go unnoticed by Natie but she waited until he turned to face her once again to pose the obvious question that was on the tip of her tongue.

"Was someone hurt?" She questioned in a tentative voice. Kirk ran a hand over his left temple before his green eyes flicked from Natie to the door to the bedroom and back again.

"I can't feel Luke through the force," Kirk said in an almost inaudible. Natie's eyes widened.

"You mean he's dead?" By the expression Kirk's face she could tell that even he didn't know the answer to that question. No wonder it was bothering him so much. "Do you want to look for him?" Natie asked finally after a few minutes of silence between them while Kirk's expression continued to darken. He moved to the edge of the bed and touched his feet to the carpeted floor before he stood up and went to his closet to get his clothes.

"Kirk?" Natie said. She hadn't seen him this distant and grim since she'd first met him.

"I'm sorry, but I need to do this alone for once, Natie," Kirk said finally as he pulled his tunic over his head and pulled on his Jedi robe. His green eyes were shrunken and troubled. If it weren't for the genuine worry in his eyes Natie would have argued with him about running off alone but she slowly nodded as if something in the air had told her he truly needed to find Luke on his own. As soon as Kirk had finished dressing and had his lightsaber clipped to his belt along with his blaster, he started for the door but paused when Natie's voice cut through the tense silence.

"I know Luke's important to you, Kirk. I can tell that he's probably the closest thing to kin for you, so I hope you know that I'm letting you go because I know how difficult it is to let anyone take care of your family for you," Natie's eyes met Kirk and he nodded, a soft understanding lit his eyes before he replied.

"Tell someone in the New Republic about this, they can't afford to be left in the dark," Kirk let a tired sigh escape him, one that only Natie could read as his reluctance to simply leave now that the two of them had managed to reach a new level of intimacy as well as understanding. "I love you, Natie."

For a second, Natie's eyes widened and then she nodded, "I love you too, Kirk. Go do what you have to, I'll do what I can to warn the New Republic."

He smiled warmly before he left, leaving Natie to sigh and lean back on the pillows. She really didn't know what she'd gotten herself into, but she did know that Kirk Dekim was the most high maintenance boyfriend she'd ever had, not to mention the only boyfriend she'd ever had.

Other girls might be lucky to get boyfriends who were regular people or aliens with low profile jobs but they weren't lucky enough to get a boyfriend who not only understood what it was like to have a rough life and to live it too. They also didn't have the ability to have adventures and survive them time and time again or to never live a day without some kind of danger lurking around the corner. She grinned. Plus, nobody had a boyfriend who could kiss and send the stars into misalignment.

Most girls didn't date Jedi like Kirk Dekim.

* * *

Tahiri stared intently at James, silently mulling over what she should say in response to his statement. After a while when it seemed like she wasn't getting anywhere she spoke, "What do you mean the cargo was clones of you?" She almost had to check herself to make sure she was saying what she thought she was saying. The concept, even for the type of life she lived and the variety of insane experiences she'd had over the years, was too wild. That was saying something since Tahiri had been best friends with Anakin Solo, who was the very definition of crazy in both good and bad ways.

"I mean that my parents had clones of me because they were supplying the Empire with soldiers."

"Whoa, back up, for the Empire?" Tahiri held up her hand and placed her empty Styrofoam cup on the table, "The Empire hasn't been around for over a decade." James sighed, and ran a hand over his face in clear frustration though Tahiri could tell it was more directed at himself than anyone else.

"I know it hasn't been around in the form it was many years ago," James replied, "But my parents have been supplying the Remnants of the Empire for years. They were the armor builders. It's a tradition that's been passed down my adoptive family for generations." He looked away from Tahiri for a moment while she processed what he had said so far.

"How did you find out?"

James grimaced, "The marking on the armor is like an artist's insignia. My father was a craftsman for machinery so I knew his insignia," He sucked in his breath, "I saw it on the inside of the armor of the bodies we found on Kessel."

Tahiri blinked, "You mean you went back there?"

James shook his head, "I didn't have to. Kirk pulled me aside to tell me what he'd found."

Tahiri's eyes slowly narrowed, "Wait, does that mean the soldiers we killed-?" She cut herself off in time for James to confirm her realization.

"Yes, they were clones of me. Or rather, of Felix Detron," James gritted his teeth, "They've been making armor for years and helping to transport the clones to supply any Imperial projects," His gray eyes rested on one of the square tiles on the floor and remained fixated on it as he continued to speak in an almost completely oblivious way to what he was talking about. "My sister and I didn't know. I don't think they ever planned to tell us that they were secretly Imperial sympathizers. Not only that, they were involved in making T-Fighters, armor, and even got the Peace Brigade to attack places that would weaken the New Republic so the Imperial Remnant could get inside."

Tahiri's face had grown steadily paler as James continued. She almost didn't find the strength to respond but forced the words out of her weighted throat. "Did they get someone inside?" She really didn't want to know the answer because she knew exactly what it would mean if there was someone who had infiltrated the New Republic's inner government, even if it was just one person there was no way to tell who it was or how far into the threads of the New Republic that person or alien was. "James?"

"Master Skywalker's missing," James said finally. Although it wasn't the answer Tahiri had been expecting and it hadn't really answered the question in the first place, she knew from what she felt in the force what James was getting at.

"So Master Skywalker knew something," Tahiri said, her own voice lowered in realization of all the consequences this could lead to. "He had to. If he knew something about who it was that would be a good reason for someone to capture him."

James' brow furrowed, "Or Master Skywalker simply knew that there _was _a traitor in the first place."

Tahiri turned her head to look at James but his eyes were fixated on the wall across the hallway from where they sat. "We weren't supposed to know."

James let out a hollow laugh, "Of course we weren't. If we did we're one step closer to knowing who the traitor is." He laughed in an almost giddy way. "My parents paved the road for the fall of the New Republic. The Yuuzhan Vong War was only the beginning, an opportunity for the Remnant to grab hold of the loose threads of the New Republic's structure."

"Just like Emperor Palpatine," Tahiri breathed. James turned his head and nodded silently, his eyes haunted but grimly accepting.

"Just like Palpatine," He agreed in a distant and almost inaudible tone.

* * *

Luke groaned as he sat up and took in his surroundings. When he noticed out of the corner of his eye that someone was sitting nearby, he shift and leapt backwards, reaching towards his belt and was surprised to feel that his lightsaber was still in his belt.

"You rely on your lightsaber quite a bit for being the Grand Jedi Master," A cool and almost crisply charismatic voice said. Luke's eyes narrowed and he looked over at the figure sitting in a chair not too far from where Luke was. He took in his surroundings: he was in a stone walled building with only one window and in the far corner of the medium sized room was a chair where the figure sat, hands clasped together in a calm fashion. Two stormy grey eyes focused on Luke from the shadows.

"Who are you?" Luke asked, using the Jedi calming technique he'd developed for tense situations such as the one he was in now.

A bemused smirk crossed the figure's features. "Let me ask you, Luke Skywalker," The figure leaned forward so the front of the figure's face was visible. He had smooth skin and a flawless and sturdy jaw-line that was clean shaven. His rich brown hair had an underlying tone of red and his thin lips had fixated themselves in a smug smile.

Luke squinted and tried to make out why this young man, who could hardly be any older than James, seemed so familiar.

"Frustrating, isn't it?" The man asked calmly, "That you can't figure out why it is that you know someone."

Luke frowned until creases appeared on his forehead, "I'm guessing this is why you didn't want me to have the force."

"Well done," The man said in a mixed tone between approval and mocking. "Yes, unfortunately it is not time for me to show my full hand to you, Luke Skywalker. Though in due time you will see along with the rest of the New Republic."

Luke continued to keep his hand on his lightsaber but without the force he couldn't sense the man in front of Luke or Mara. His blue eyes hardened but before Luke could speak the man turned his head to the side and glanced out the window. "Your wife is fine. She is about as comfortable as you are. If not more so."

"Where is she?" Luke questioned in a tone he hardly recognized as his own as it was icy cold and caused anger to shoot through his entire body.

The man stood up and walked over so his entire body was lit up by the light coming in through the single window. He was tall and thinly built despite his well developed muscles showing through his plain navy blue military undershirt and pants that he donned. His boots clacked to a stop inches before Luke's knees as they rested on the cold stone floor. "You're a fake, Skywalker."

Luke's face twitched and for a second he was rendered silent by the cold feeling that was closing in around him. "A fake among genuine articles of force potential, it was a fluke that you became a leader at all."

"I don't believe you," Luke said flatly. He knew this rhetoric. It was the same kind that would twist someone into believing they were hopeless so they would be tempted to the dark side. Luke didn't need a second telling to know that's what this man was trying to talk into him.

"You misunderstand me, Skywalker," The man said coldly, "No one cares about you anymore. You're a relic of the days when the frail rebellion needed your help. But now you are simply a symbol of a time that no longer exists. You've outlived your use," Without waiting another second Luke's lightsaber was wrenched from his hands and flew into the man's hand. His grey eyes rested on Luke.

"Without the force you are nothing and with it you are simply a milestone to mark a time that has passed. You've been stalled for years, Skywalker," The man hefted Luke's lightsaber before thumbing the blade on. "A fine lightsaber for more appropriate times, no doubt you've led yourself to believe it still serves a purpose in your hands." The man held the blade so Luke's face was cast in its yellow-green glow.

"Many a good Jedi have been corrupted simply by holding a blade and others by wielding it," The man said in a flat and emotionless tone, "Your father for one was corrupted the moment he tried to handle both love and hate at the same time."

Luke's eyes narrowed, "What would you know of my father?"

The young man smiled serenely, "Quite a bit actually," He folded his arms across his chest as he seated himself calmly back into his chair on the far side of the room, once again casting his face in alternating shadows and leaving only his right cheek visible in the light coming in from the single window. "More than you yourself do."

Luke's lips tightened and he clenched his lightsaber to the point where his knuckles turned white. "He was my father."

"And he was a Sith, like me," The man's lips curled into an eerily unperturbed smile. Nothing seemed to worry this man, not even the fact that Luke still had his lightsaber. Everything about the man was the ideal image of calm yet Luke knew there was something very off about the man for some reason. Though what that was, Luke couldn't say other than the fact that the man had outright stated that he was in fact a Sith.

"You're a sith," Luke breathed finally. "How is that possible?"

The man scowled and gave Luke what was clearly a disappointedly condescending look. It was one that a teacher would give a student who wasn't trying in class at all and was trying to pull the wool over the teacher's eyes. "Honestly, Master Skywalker, use your wisdom, surely you already know how the force works?" The man then took on a lecturing tone, "I am a Sith the same way you are a Jedi. There is the force and there is a dark and a light side. Two extremes and then there is a middle. The Sith and Jedi mark the extremes and there has never been a single alien or human to bridge that gap. As a Sith who understands both, I can assure you that you are a fake Jedi."

Finally as if something had snapped Luke sprung forward, thumbing his blade to life and brought it right up under the man's chin. His mouth remained formed in a confidently calm smile. "Good. I see that you haven't lost all restraint. You have finesse, I'll give you that." Without so much as a second glance to the blade hovering near his neck the man stood and then the lightsaber flew from Luke's hands into that of the man. "You said you didn't think I knew more about your father than you do," Luke opened his mouth to object but the man held up a hand, "Enough. Your expression and the force told me this. You as a Jedi are unable to hide things from the force and therefore cannot hide things from anyone who works with the force, Sith, Jedi or otherwise," The man's voice was cold now and Luke felt a distinct chill rise around him but couldn't pinpoint how much was from the draft in the room or from the man in front of Luke. "Answer me then, is that what you think?"

"I don't know how you could know since Vader was before your time," Luke stated firmly. The man laughed. It was a sharp sound like a blade being worked to perfection on a sharpening block. The hammering in Luke's head because of his pounding heart sending blood to his brain caused him to wince briefly. He was out of his element without the force.

"How little you know, Luke Skywalker," The man said crossing over to Luke and then stepped swiftly before Luke realized the man was now behind Luke and a crimson blade was at Luke's throat.

"Vader," The man said in calmly determined tone, "Was my Master."

* * *

Anakin Solo woke and sat up with a jolt and glanced around at his surroundings in alarm before realizing that he wasn't in the bar and that was in a hospital bed for what seemed like the millionth time in his entire life. A long sigh escaped him as he sank back into his pillows. Another long stay at a hospital and Tahiri was going to chew him out the moment the doctors let her in to see him. He was definitely not looking forward to that.

As if on cue the door opened and the doctor walked in, "Ah, good to see you're awake, Mr. Solo, you have a visitor outside." Anakin almost rolled his eyes at that. _She really doesn't miss a beat. _He sighed audibly this time. _Might as well face the music. _But before he could respond to the doctor a familiar blonde hair pushed her way in front of the stunned doctor before he too could say anything.

"Alright, I'm sure this explanation is going to be good," Tahiri folded her arms across her chest, "Just let me hear you make excuses Anakin Solo." She said and she didn't even need to fill in the actual threat because Anakin already knew she was frightening enough without it and apparently so did Tahiri because she didn't elaborate and simply waited for Anakin to answer.

"How about I knew there was an informant and I wanted to meet the informant so I brought Vua Rapuung with me as an extra precaution but Uldir showed up and well, you can guess what happened after that." Anakin offered, hoping it was enough that he mentioned that Uldir was involved since Tahiri knew that their old friend, if he was even a friend at this point, was deeply involved in the dark side as well as other dirty dealings.

Tahiri seemed to be thinking over it carefully because she hadn't outright denied his excuse. Finally she frowned before responding, "What did he want this time?"

"To give us some information about something in the New Republic but we never got that far," Anakin said carefully, still unsure of where Tahiri stood on the topic of Uldir at this point as well as where he stood in terms of getting chewed out. Her eyes narrowed.

"Why not?"

"Because he exploded as soon as he heard you and I were married," Anakin replied in a low voice almost wishing he didn't have to tell Tahiri the truth. He really didn't like the fact that it was their marriage that had caused Uldir to snap this time and that last time he'd gotten angry because he'd heard Tahiri and Anakin were dating. It was an endless cycle of jealousy.

"Anakin." Tahiri said firmly as if she'd sensed his exact thoughts which she probably had considering their bond. But it was hard to tell sometimes which thoughts were connected and which ones weren't. "It really isn't your fault that Uldir feels that way."

"Isn't it though?" Anakin asked with his voice heavy with the guilt inside of him. "We haven't seen him or tried to contact him in years and when he turns up next he's still acting like nothing's changed since we were kids."

"That's his problem for not realizing things would change," Tahiri argued. She crossed over and neither had noticed that the doctor had left the moment Tahiri had launched into her aggressive state.

"Is it?" Anakin questioned once more. "We could have done something to stop him from being like this!" His voice wavered and his fists curled of their own accord before shaking but they stopped as soon as a gentle hand covered his own. He looked up as Tahiri sat down on the side of the bed, her hands grasping his.

"Anakin," She said in a soft but still firm tone, "I don't doubt that you would have done something if you could. But the truth is neither of us could have seen this coming. We can't prevent everything we don't want to happen from happening. If we did then, well, we would just be controlling everything and not letting life just run its course."

Anakin looked down at the sheets for a moment before raising his gaze to rest on Tahiri's face. She was always saying the things Anakin needed to hear and often enough he didn't even know that he needed to hear them. All he knew was that her voice was soothing against his chaotic mind and ears that were sore from listening to the endless cries from inside of himself and inside of Uldir. The fact remained that even though Anakin hadn't seen Uldir in a long time since they were children, their bond remained strong enough to carry over anything Uldir was feeling or thinking to Anakin's mind.

"You're not thinking about what could happen if you try to prevent everything bad from happening to everyone we know, Anakin," Tahiri continued when she was sure he was listening once more and out of his own reverie. "I agree that there's probably something we could have done but," Tahiri's voice couldn't hide the pain Anakin sensed from her and he squeezed her hands as much as he could without causing his burns to sting. Though they were mostly gone because of the bacta treatment, Anakin was still badly burned all over his body. At the moment it wasn't on the front of his mind. "Sometimes accepting that we're not capable of being omniscient is the best option."

"Tahiri," Anakin said quietly but she shook her head.

"Please, Anakin," She said, "It's bad enough that you keep running into Uldir by chance, I don't need you going after him purposely." Anakin lowered his gaze for a moment before he nodded slowly but with a hint of reluctance in his nod as he returned his eyes to meet Tahiri's. His eyes then went to Tahiri's stomach and a smile crossed his face. Kam needed both his parents there for him. Anakin didn't want his son to have to go through life without a father like Valin was going to have to. Tahiri followed Anakin's gaze and then smiled herself.

"Here," She shifted closer to Anakin so she was within arm's reach of him. She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. He felt surprise run through him the moment his hand touched her stomach. Through the force he could feel the tiny life growing inside of Tahiri and the barely audible thumping of the baby's heart.

"It's a nice sound," Anakin said, unable to hide the awe and the contentment in his voice. Tahiri nodded.

"You'll get to hear it more clearly when he's born," Tahiri had to laugh at the slightly wide eyed expression Anakin got at her statement. "You haven't thought about that part, have you?"

"Uh, not really," Anakin said, rubbing the back of his neck with a small laugh of embarrassment. Tahiri looked down at her stomach and then back up at Anakin, who was looking at her intently now.

"What?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. He shook his head silently.

"Nothing," Anakin then shook his head again before amending his statement. "I'm just thinking about how amazing this is. That a life can be born, it's like you can almost hear the heartbeat of the force itself inside you."

Tahiri blinked and then nodded. Anakin did have a way with words when he decided to talk and over the years Tahiri had come to appreciate everything he said with every fiber of her being. "Anakin."

He turned his head, taking his eyes off her stomach once more, "Mm?" Then he grinned for a moment before returning the firm kiss Tahiri had initiated.

"Nothing." She smiled and Anakin couldn't agree more.

* * *

Mara found herself staring at the wall she was lying in front of. As soon as she had regained consciousness she'd noticed that her surroundings were not only oddly familiar but had an eerie feeling about them. The walls had endless carvings of text and pictures that were written in an ancient tongue that Mara, at first glance, thought might be Mandalorian but at a closer look as she stood up, she noticed that it was even older than the language of the ancient Mandalorian people.

She narrowed her eyes as her skills as a linguist, skills that she had learned for missions while in service of Palpatine, kicked in. She followed the text all the way down to the bottom of the moss covered wall and then stepped back to look up at the top of the wall. The text read:

_Here we bear the burden of shadows,_

_Here we bear the burden of the universe and its inhabitants._

_We shed no tears when life ends and we strike with the force behind us._

_There is no doubt, only fear of doubt._

_There is no trust, only fear of trust._

_There is no true way, only the path of emotions._

_Seek not the calm but the determined ferocity._

_Seek not the weak but the strong with iron fists. _

_Seek divine rage and reap the destruction sown.  
_

_We are the lords of the shadows, we are the bringers of justice through vengeance._

Mara's green eyes widened and then furrowed in comprehension. This wasn't just any text. These were the words of ancient force users.

The oath of the first Sith.

**A/N- Sorry for the long wait. I got caught up in school work and I spent most of the weekend reading book nine of the Young Wizards Series. It was amazing!! Any rate. I'll try to update earlier this time around but I won't make any promises since my schedule is jam packed right now. Thanks for reading! =) **


	48. Prophecy of the Sith

**Chapter 47**

**Prophecy of the Sith**

_A/N- Hey All! I'm back again! Woo! I'm taking this rare chance to update while I get the time. But don't expect this to happen that often. _

**Iluvsugarcookies- **Yes, my head is feeling better, thanks. Yes, swings can be cruel. But what can you do about it? I'm glad you liked it. I do my best to write these chapters since there is no try. Anyways, thanks as always for reviewing! =)

_Well, I don't think I need to say much more about this chapter except that things are only going to get more intense from here on out since I'm moving towards wrapping up the trilogy with this fic. _

_PLEASE VOTE IN THE OC POLL ON MY PROFILE, THANKEES! =) _

_As always a pleasure writing for you all,_

_-Don "Bon Jovi" QuixoticQuest =) _

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Mara stared blankly at the writing on the wall. The first sith had been here, in this very chamber, here where Mara, who returned from the dark side, now stood. She could almost sense the dark side radiating from the stones. She tentatively ran her hand over the wall and then jerked her hand back as if something had stung it.

"Fascinating isn't it, how much remains of the force even when its users are gone." Mara turned and regarded the speaker with a mix of cold and calm disgust.

"You'd know, wouldn't you," Mara stated as the young man crossed over to where she stood, his black robes billowing as he walked. He then placed his hand on the wall and closed his eyes, letting the energy wash over him. Then he reopened his eyes and turned to Mara.

"I'm surprised you didn't realize this existed, you were part of the dark side once," Rendon said.

"Was," Mara emphasized. Rendon shrugged.

"No matter what you say, the dark side remains as much a part of you as the light does, no matter which direction you leave in the end," Rendon glanced up the text and traced the words with his fingertips the tingling of the force inside of the walls sent shivers of joy through Rendon's veins but Mara could only feel cold dread in hers just by standing there in front of the wall.

"I don't really know what makes you think I understand what your twisted mind is thinking," Mara said bluntly. Rendon turned his head so his dark brown eyes were fixated on her. He looked upon her with the patience of a teacher though he was many years younger than Mara was. His gaze left her for a moment to look at the next section of text next to the oath. It was the Sith code:

_Peace is a lie; there is only passion._

_Through passion, I gain strength._

_Through strength, I gain power._

_Through power, I gain victory._

_Through victory, my chains are broken._

_The Force shall free me._

"There is a prophecy," Rendon said slowly in a calmly meditative tone as he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, "That a sith would rise above all the others, and destroy his bretherin in the process," He remained focused on the wall, his eyes narrowing in thought as he continued as though he were giving a lecture on the subject, turning his head to see if Mara was still paying attention. She was and hadn't looked anywhere but at Rendon since he'd started talking, "Darth Bane was identified as the Sith of the prophecy when he torn down the Brotherhood of Darkness and established the Rule of Two." Rendon looked over at Mara, this time not looking back at the wall as he waited for her response. When none came he continued, "I find that every new era of force users brings in a new Sith'ari, or chosen one if you will," He straightened, "But at the same token, there will only ever be one Dark Lord of the Sith who will tower over all the others because he or she will kill all the others.

"This is why Darth Bane is the Sith'ari as far as we sith are concerned but I believe that the true Sith'ari is connected to both the dark and light side of the force. Whoever is the true Sith'ari will be so far connected that nothing will be truer to the force than Bane ever was. Because the true chosen one won't let either side dominate."

Mara frowned, "Why are you telling me this?"

Rendon raised an eyebrow at her, "Don't you know?"

She scowled. "How would I when I don't know a damned thing about you other than that you were once the Emperor's Wraith."

Rendon nodded after considering this. "Fair enough, Jade," He turned his head to regard the wall once more. "Yes, I was the Emperor's Wraith, but that's not all I was." His eyes narrowed as he looked at the wall, "I was told upon my acceptance as the second agent of Emperor that I was to serve a greater purpose than just doing the dirty work of assassinations," Rendon's gaze hardened past his calm for the first time in a while, "All the teachings of the sith were forced into my mind so that one day I might teach them to the next generation of sith." He smiled wryly, "Funny, isn't it?" His eyes lit with a grim sort of amusement, "That the Emperor, who invented the dark side, couldn't pass his teachings down because his own student killed him. The rule of two has always triumphed as it will continue to until the force itself dies out," Rendon stiffened at the words.

"A day I hope will never come," Mara said with some sober apprehension of her own. Rendon nodded.

"Agreed, Jade," Rendon moved swiftly over to where the text ended and pressed his palm against the stone and closed his eyes sending waves through the force, causing Mara to cringe at the dark energy emerging from Rendon. "I believe you should see this for yourself." He released his hold on the stone and the wall gave and opened to reveal a small passage into the depths of the cave. "Without the force neither of us would be as we are, that much we can agree on."

Mara nodded. "What's in there?"

"Search yourself," Rendon said. "Only those who have the force can enter here."

Rendon knew the real prophecy. He'd heard it himself from the very depths of the dark side of the force. It had practically whispered it into Rendon's ears. His smile curled onto his lips. There was no stopping the true prophecy from unfolding. Not even the strongest Sith could intervene. The prophecy had begun long before the Empire had. Rendon looked at Mara as she worked her mind into concentrating on the force.

Mara reached out with the force and found that not only was there no distinction between dark or light force energy within the passage but there was a strong, almost magnetic pull dragging her towards it. She hesitated, reaching out with her senses to see what the passage hid but nothing was forthcoming. It was almost like the cave on Degobah. She drew in a breath and then started into the passage. Behind her Rendon walked calmly and then the door swung shut behind them, drenching the entire passage in darkness.

_The time has come._ Rendon's mouth formed a smile as the words returned:

_The first will not be the last._

_The darkness must meet the light for the prophecy to unfold._

_When the heir of comes, _

_Who is the son of the son of darkness, _

_He will wield a power unbeknownst to his ancestors._

_There will be no allies. Only enemies._

_When the time comes the force will call and mark the prophecy with the blood of three:_

_Friend. Foe. Kin. _

_He who is of both dark and light will slay his master,_

_And thus begin the prophecy.  
_

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Zekk deeply regretted that he hadn't told Jaina what had happened in the bar. Not because anything detrimental had happened, at least nothing that Jaina wasn't used to hearing about from Zekk and Anakin. He mainly regretted not telling her that Uldir was not only on the loose but Zekk had a feeling that Anakin knew something about Uldir that Anakin wasn't willing to mention and that thing was what probably caused the entire bar to be left in shambles. Zekk had only found out then too that Uldir was jealous of Anakin and Tahiri's relationship, more so than Anakin probably cared to admit.

So now Zekk had lied through his teeth not once, but twice, in order to get the truth from Anakin. The older Jedi stood patiently by while the doctor went over the rules of visitation before Zekk was permitted to enter Anakin's room. Once inside, Zekk closed the door firmly behind him and gave Anakin a hard stare. Green eyes met blue and the two young men almost seemed to want to stare each other down until Anakin broke the silence.

"Jaina came by earlier," Anakin's voice had a quiet tension behind it. Zekk didn't miss it and nodded his head. "You lied to her about what happened. Why?"

Zekk looked at Anakin, folding his arms across his chest, "Because there's something I need to ask you first."

"And it couldn't wait?" Anakin asked, "You should have told her the truth anyways."

"This needed to be asked first, Anakin," Zekk said, his voice hardening in a way Anakin had hardly ever heard before from Zekk. Anakin slowly nodded to indicate Zekk should continue. He watched Anakin for a moment and then continued, "I don't know what you know about Uldir that I don't, and I'm sure there are a lot of things that I probably wouldn't understand. So I won't ask you any more than is necessary," Zekk began," But I do need to know one thing: is Uldir working with Xillanor?"

Anakin's gaze averted for a second, "I'm not sure, but I think he might be."

Zekk nearly swore. "You _think _he might be?" He shook his head incredulously, "Anakin, the fact that you think he might be connected with Xillanor is dangerous," When Anakin continued to remain silent a fiery look entered Zekk's eyes, "Kriff, Anakin, you don't get how-"

"I get it," Anakin replied coldly. "He killed my brother, Zekk, I'm not going to forget that or forgive him for it," Zekk remained silent as Anakin continued in a soberly angry voice, "Xillanor killed Kam too. Two well trained Jedi were killed by that Sith and I sure don't think I'm ready to let that slide. Xillanor will pay."

A chill ran down Zekk's spine at those words. "Anakin, be careful about saying things like that." He said, "They'll come back to haunt you."

"I'm okay with that," Anakin replied flatly. "It's about time the Order stopped being lax about this situation."

Zekk regarded Anakin with some level of disbelief and some understanding, "Anakin, the Order wasn't built on principles of revenge. You and I both know that's not the way of the Jedi."

Anakin bristled, "Yeah, but you and I both know that it's also impossible to fight an enemy with nothing but words." Zekk's mouth clamped shut at that, as memories of his own past experiences with anger and the need to take direct action against the Yuuzhan Vong during the war and the image of Brakiss when he had told Zekk he was going to be the leader of the assault on Yavin 4. No, Zekk hadn't forgotten about those feelings. They wouldn't ever leave him. Every day he thought about lashing out and how much more effective his skills would be if he just let himself do whatever was necessary to destroy enemies like Xillanor. But the fact that Anakin wasn't even fighting it was a serious concern. Zekk frowned.

"Listen to me, Anakin," Zekk said, "I know you want to take vengeance on Xillanor but there's still time to stop him before it has to come to that."

Anakin's eyes glared back, "Oh, like when?" He growled, "When Xillanor kills my parents too? Or when he kills Tahiri?" Anakin then snarled, "When Jaina's being stabbed through the chest like Jacen was?" His voice turned accusatory and demanding now, "When will _you_ act, Zekk?"

Zekk took all his strength not to rise to the bait but his own anger and frustration was near its boiling point, "I don't know! But I'm not willing to sacrifice everything I've done to rebuild my life from what it was on this!"

"Then you truly don't give a kriff about Jaina," Anakin said and that struck a nerve. Zekk's face contorted.

"I'm not willing to turn myself into a monster to take revenge, even if Jaina really does want revenge for Jacen, I won't do that to her. She's lost enough as it is to not have me to add to the pain of turning to the dark side again." Zekk replied in a harshly disappointed tone. "I don't know why you think killing Xillanor is the only way, but I can tell you right now that I won't help you to do it if that's what you choose."

Anakin's voice remained even and his eyes dark, "I didn't ask for your help, Zekk, or your advice. I'm telling you right now what I'm planning to do regardless of what you or the Order thinks."

Zekk looked at Anakin with a mix of hurt and true sympathy, "Anakin, please don't do this. It'd hurt not only you if you fell too far but everyone else. You don't even know if you can kill Xillanor on your own."

"Not with the light side of the force alone," Anakin replied, his tone softening but it still held firm. "There's nothing you can do to convince me otherwise, Zekk. This is my choice."

Zekk cast a glance at the door, noting there was a doctor waiting outside, probably for to check in on Anakin, "Does Tahiri know?"

Anakin nodded solemnly, "She does and she's just as happy about it as you are." There was a hint of wry humor in Anakin's voice, which Zekk smiled faintly at before responding.

"Then why do it at all?" He asked. Zekk could only hope that Anakin was only saying this on a spur of the moment feeling but something told Zekk that this wasn't the case. He could only hope once again that his gut feeling was wrong.

Anakin lowered his gaze, "Someone from the New Republic Council saw me at the bar." Zekk's insides clenched.

"What?" Zekk's shock set in now, along with his fear, "Who?"

"I don't know," Anakin replied with a shake of his head, "But Uncle Luke's missing and Mom came by to tell me that someone saw me at the bar. No one high enough can defend me except for my mom and she can't because she's related to me."

Zekk's entire body stiffened as the cold feeling of what he knew this would mean. "They wouldn't kick you out of the Order, would they?" Anakin sighed.

"They're talking about it," Anakin replied in a low voice, "And without Uncle Luke or Aunt Mara to defend me against the Order's decisions I might be kicked off and maybe exiled."

"But you don't know for sure if they will," Zekk said, secretly hoping that this wasn't as serious as Anakin made it sound. He shook his head.

"I don't know if they will but I do know that force fire is forbidden," Anakin turned his head to look over at Zekk fully. He truly felt helpless standing there while Anakin pretty much stated that he was at risk of not only being removed from the Jedi Order but being exiled by the New Republic. Both were definitely drastic actions but Zekk didn't doubt for a moment that there would be those who would support the decision.

"How long until they call a meeting?" Zekk asked. Anakin shrugged.

"Could be months, weeks, days, I have no idea. I have a feeling they'll try to postpone it until Uncle Luke gets back but there's no guarantees that he'll be here in time or that his word will be enough. I did use force fire and the fact that more than one person or alien witnessed it is enough to condemn me."

Zekk fell silent for a full five minutes and the doctor peered in the small window of the door and continued talking with one of the aides. Zekk then looked at Anakin, who seemed just as jarred and confused by this as Zekk was. "I hope you're wrong about that."

Anakin looked at Zekk and nodded, "So do I."

* * *

James meandered around Coruscant in the most sober stupor of any of the drunks on the lower levels. Since he'd spoken to Tahiri everything seemed more real: his parents being Imperial supporters, his sister dying, and most of all the fact that he'd have to tell Wynn the truth about his life. He didn't want her to know that not only was James an orphan but he was the adoptive song of Imperials, the scum of the galaxy. The weight had set in and James had decided the only way out was to drink. But since he hadn't had much of an affinity for alcohol, James was drunk after only one full tankard of beer. For a second he staggered and would have walked right into a wall if it hadn't been for the hand that pulled him away from his impending injury. He turned his blurry eyes and blinked drearily at the person before him.

"Wymb?" He questioned, he wasn't quite sure if he was drunk enough to be seeing hallucinations.

"What are you doing here, James?" Wynn demanded with a hint of exasperation. James continued to stare at her until she sighed audibly.

"James, are you drunk?"

"No, I'm not," He said, waving his hand and then swayed. Wynn raised her eyebrow.

"Swear to the force you're not drunk," Wynn commanded. James raised his hand and then dropped it, too delirious to know what his body was doing.

"I swear to drunk I'm not the force," James said with a self congratulating nod before his knees gave out and Wynn had to duck under his arm to catch him and lift him up.

"You're such a pain," Wynn said and then used her strength, which was pretty expansive because of her work with machinery, and supported the half conscious James back to his apartment.

A half an hour later found James passed out on the couch and Wynn putting a wet compress on his forehead when Tahiri came in. Her eyes went from Wynn to James and in seconds she raised an eyebrow in quiet amusement.

"What he do this time?" Tahiri asked. Wynn had to crack a wry smile at that.

"Got drunk on the lower levels of Coruscant," Wynn said with a shrug. "Where's your idiot, in the usual spot?" Since Wynn already knew where Anakin probably was, she'd filled in the answer to her own question.

Tahiri laughed at that. Anakin's dubbed "Usual Spot" was code for the hospital. "Yup. He's going to be there for a while so I'm at least relieved I don't have to keep an eye on him for now." Wynn smirked. They both had very reckless, high maintenance and otherwise unmanageable partners, who, despite their initial lack of care for their own health, were otherwise two of the most caring and affectionate young men in the whole galaxy.

"Wow, talk about dumping your responsibilities," Wynn said with a raised eyebrow at Tahiri, who shrugged.

"At this point I'm wondering why I married the guy, he's really got some annoying habits," Tahiri said with small frown and then shook her head in amazement, "But for some reason I still love him."

Wynn smiled, "Maybe because he's just got a good heart that usually does the trick."

Tahiri smiled wryly, "And I damn that heart every day for keeping me hooked." Wynn wrung out the compress over the bin of water and then placed it back on James' forehead. In his sleep, he moaned and then lay still once more.

"You love him all the same though," Wynn pointed out.

"Don't remind me," Tahiri rolled her eyes and then regarded James for a moment before looking back at Wynn, whose expression carefully hid a strain that Tahiri could only sense because of the force.

"Tahiri," Wynn said, without looking back at Tahiri. "You know something about James that I don't, what is it?"

Tahiri looked hesitant for a second and then shook her head, "I shouldn't be the one to tell you."

Wynn frowned, "But you _do _know."

Tahiri nodded solemnly. She had a feeling where Wynn's thoughts were going. "Wynn, just because James confided in me, doesn't me he trusts me more than he does you."

Wynn sighed, "I know, but I just wish he was more open with me."

Tahiri nodded, "He will be," She looked over at the dark haired boy who was now sleeping with strands of his hair out of place and a few strewn across his forehead. His breathing had steadied now and Wynn was tenderly holding his hand as it hung limply from the couch. "James is acting just like Anakin was when I first met him. Don't worry about it. He'll come around." Sensing that the moment for this conversation wasn't now and that Wynn probably wanted to be alone with James for a while, Tahiri took her leave to go visit her own problematic partner in the hospital.

* * *

Kirk took a calming breath and let the force wash over him as he reached out with the force. Because of his near dark side encounters, which were now too many to count, Kirk had a good sense of both dark and light force presences no matter where they were and who they were. He guided _Blue Rain _through space and watched as the star became lines as he made his hyperspace jump.

He couldn't feel Luke but Kirk knew that wherever his former master was, Luke was with Mara, and Kirk could feel where Mara was. That was the really odd thing. If whoever had captured Luke had somehow removed Luke from the force without killing him, why hadn't they done the same for Mara? Kirk's eyes narrowed as a planet came into view.

A sickening feeling went through his veins. It was as if someone was trying to be cruelly ironic. The dark sphere loomed in the distance like a something out of a nightmare.

Luke and Mara were on Deshar.

**A/N- Sorry this is a bit short but I'm going to get another chapter up as soon as I can so hang in there! Thanks for reading and enjoy the weekend! =) Happy belated April Fool's Day!! **


	49. Ebbing Flame

**Chapter 48**

**Ebbing Flame**

_A/N- Heya! Sorry for the delay. Once again I've been busy with my school work so all my FFN fics are backed up. Thanks to all readers of this fic for sticking with this story. You guys are awesome! _

**Iluvsugarcookies**- Ha, ha. I do try to make my chapters suspenseful so if they're "book-esc" then I think I'm doing my job right. =) I'm glad you enjoyed the James/Wynn exchange. I had fun writing that scene. I think having James be drunk is better than him being sober but that's just me. Ha, ha. It's worth getting an account if you spend enough time on FFN. I joined so I could keep track of all the fics I was reading. I didn't actually start writing until a month after I joined. But I appreciate your vote in either case. =)

_I'm listening to the Mario 64 soundtrack and it brings back nerdy nostalgia for me! =) _

_Good news! I have a long weekend for the rest of this week so I'm going to try to update as many of my stories as possible. That includes "Somewhere," "Revenge of the Cookie Sith," and possibly "Remember" if my writer's block cuts me some slack. _

_Well, on to the chapter!_

_Enjoy,_

_Don ^_^_

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As soon as Mara began walking through the darkened tunnel a series of red flames flickered to life along the passageway, each suspended in midair as if by invisibly strings. Though the flames weren't close enough to Mara for her to feel their heat she could still feel that they were alive, breathing in the force like she was.

"Amazing, is it not?" Rendon said, coming over to where Mara stood. "These flames have been here in this tunnel for thousands, possibly millions of years and never once went out. Do you know why?"

Mara frowned, "Enough of the games, Roan, what's in here that I should care about?"

Rendon waved his hand and more lights appeared further down the tunnel. "Your entire life."

Mara laughed hollowly, "My entire life? Do you honestly expect me to believe that?"

The Sith shrugged his shoulders, "Believe what you wish, Jade. But the fact remains that this," He gestured to the tunnel further down the passage, "Like the cave on Degobah has its ghosts and its secrets. As well it should. This place is whatever the force makes it and the force reflects the user. Even someone who lacked force sensitivity would find something here. This place is the force itself. What you see here," Rendon said calmly, "Is the truth."

Mara felt out and in sensing no lies from either Rendon or deception from the passage she stepped forward a few paces before turning to look back at Rendon. "No matter what happens in this passage, won't change that I don't and will never trust you."

Rendon inclined his head, "I never expected you to. I simply wished to give you a chance to see the truth that I had a long time ago. One that forced me choose the path opposite yours."

"Then I'll decide whether or not I agree with you," Mara said with a nod. Rendon said nothing and Mara, expecting no further comments, continued to walk with a slightly hesitant, yet mostly confident gait.

"Prophecy has already decided for you," Rendon stated and without another word he left the passage with the burning flames still hovering in midair.

* * *

Kirk almost didn't leave his ship once he'd landed on Deshar. The thought of stepping out on the soil would bring back the horror he'd tried to forget about for over a decade now. His green eyes scanned the desolate landscape and he shivered as a cold wind washed over the ground and he squinted as some of the dust got into his eyes, causing them to tear up.

He shifted his gaze and then started forward toward the towering cliffs in the distance. Over them a puff of smoke rose into the sky, as though signaling a dark beacon for Kirk to follow. If not for his recent experiences, Kirk would have immediately gone into siege mode all on his own in hopes of killing as many dark Jedi as possible, but he knew better than that now. He couldn't, or rather, he wouldn't, kill them or at least he wouldn't kill them until he had some answers as to why he was suddenly brought back to the place of his worst nightmares. It left him with an abnormal feeling of cruel nostalgia.

The last time he was on Deshar Kirk was at the height of his power and was a rising star among the Jedi. He was a newly named Master and had a student with great potential. There was nothing in his mind then that would have deterred him from a mission or from following the force to the end. Kirk Dekim had been an overzealous Jedi, bound irreversibly to the code he swore by. Without any emotional ties to hold him back, Kirk was the ideal Jedi. He had no fear of death. In fact he had no fear period. Kirk's eyes narrowed as he let loose a ragged breath. There was no stopping him if he lost it again. Luke Skywalker wouldn't be able to stop Kirk now that he was already past belonging among the Jedi. The removal of his student, Miko, had shattered Kirk to the bone. He had lost what had, back then, made him confident in his abilities as a Jedi and kept him from believing he was a dark Jedi. The loss of Miko made all fears return to Kirk and drove him into solitude for ten years.

Over that period of ten years Kirk had stained his hands red, he had trained young Jedi potentials without the permission of the Order and he had given them the teachings of the Old Order and even some teachings Kirk had found from the Sith. Now the reason why Deshar was the location of the dark Jedi made sense. This planet was the birthplace of the first unofficially recognized sith. Kirk hadn't stayed long enough his first time to realize why the planet had driven him over towards dark methods but now Kirk knew.

Deshar, in the language of its people meant one thing and one thing only: Place of Prophecy.

* * *

"Okay, Tahiri, there it is," Cilghal gestured with her head towards the screen where the image of a tiny form pulsing as it breathed. Tahiri's mouth went open a little.

"Wow, so that's really inside of me," She looked down at the goop on her stomach and gave a long sigh. This was just one more thing in Tahiri's life that made her wonder why she deserved to see such amazing things happen despite all the horrors that lay in her past. Though she certainly knew many of the good things that now lay in her future were because of one person. She knew it was because she'd met Anakin Solo that she had the opportunity to meet everyone she had and become a strong willed Jedi and loving, well, future mother.

Because of Anakin Solo, Tahiri had nothing to fear. She was confident and she woke up with a smile just because she knew that he would be there for her, supporting her, caring for her, and just being the warm hearted boy she'd known since she was nine.

"Life is really something," Cilghal said in a calmly awed tone and Tahiri nodded wordlessly. Both then turned as the door opened and Tahiri smiled as Anakin leaned over to kiss her on the forehead.

"Sorry for being late, the doctor wanted to make some last minute checks on my burns," Anakin said. Tahiri sighed.

"If you'd just let him do it in the first place he wouldn't have had to do it twice," Tahiri then followed Anakin's gaze to the screen and then watched as his face filled with a quiet affection that was directed at the life shown on the screen. He absently took Tahiri's hand in his own and a smile crossed his features. Through their bond Tahiri could feel Anakin's thoughts and emotions mixing around inside him. To her he felt excited, expectant and a definite sense of adoration filled Tahiri as Anakin's eyes came to rest on her. Her eyes narrowed and then she nodded slowly, understanding exactly where his thoughts were going.

"I'll leave you two to talk," Cilghal said and then left, quietly closing the door behind her with a _click. _

"There was something you wouldn't say in front of Cilghal," Tahiri said slowly, concern and mystification lacing her eyes, "What was it?"

"I," Anakin lowered his gaze for a moment, his blue eyes shifting around before they lifted to once again rest on Tahiri's emerald. "I got a message from Kirk."

Tahiri narrowed her eyes in confusion, "Why couldn't you mention this in front of Cilghal?" She almost didn't want to voice the question because she already sensed from their bond what he was thinking. She just didn't want to think about what she knew was going to come out of his mouth.

"He said he found Aunt Mara and Uncle Luke," Anakin said, casting a wary glance back at the door. "They're being held by Sith."

Tahiri stared blankly at Anakin, "Sith? Was he sure they were Sith?"

Anakin shook his head, "I don't know. He sounded a little off so I'm guessing it can't be anything but bad."

Tahiri licked her lips nervously as she cast a glance of her own at the door, "So what are we going to do?"

Anakin shook his head again, "We're not going to do anything, Tahiri," He frowned, "You're pregnant and I'm not leaving you alone again. So we're staying here. I'll let the others know what's going on with Kirk so the Jedi Order can act."

Tahiri took her turn to scowl, "We can't not do anything, Anakin." Anakin shook his head and reached on to grasp Tahiri's shoulders firmly in his hands.

"I am not letting you go out there when you're pregnant, I don't want to lose both you and Kam because we both feel useless just staying here. That wouldn't help anyone," Anakin looked deep into Tahiri's eyes as her gaze shifted away from him, hesitation showed through their bond. "Tahiri, I'm not leaving you again. Not after what happened when I went to meet the informant. This could be another trap." When she continued to look away, Anakin looked concerned.

"Tahiri?"

"You should go."

"What?"

"You need to go find Kirk, Anakin."

"What?" He scowled. "I told you I wasn't leaving."

Tahiri fixated him with a hard stare, "It's what the force wants."

"What do you mean the force-?" Anakin nearly swore and then muttered under his breath, "Kriff, Tahiri, I'm not leaving!"

Tahiri now turned a shade of scarlet as she nearly punched Anakin out of frustration, "The force wants you to go, don't you feel that?"

Anakin jawed for a second before he responded with equal volume in his voice, "Of course I do! But don't _you _get that I don't want to leave you here when I haven't been with you much lately?"

Tahiri sighed, "It can't be helped, Anakin. Whether or not you realize it you're a powerful and influential Jedi. You have the power and the responsibility to help other Jedi out no matter what. I'll get the chance to be with you other times but I know, if anyone at all is, you're the only Jedi with the capacity to be the next Grand Master."

Anakin waved his hands, "Whoa, hang on, me? I can't be the next Jedi Master, I'm about to be kicked off the council for using force fire, remember?"

"You might be, but it's likely that you won't."

"You don't know that."

"Anakin," Tahiri groaned. She knew he was being stubborn about this for her sake but it didn't change the fact that she wanted him to help Kirk. Something was telling her that Anakin needed to help Kirk, she wasn't sure what, but she knew. Tahiri turned to look as Anakin took her hands in his.

"Do you want me to go?" He asked calmly and with a hint of his fear for what he already knew was the truth of her thoughts on the matter. "Tahiri?"

"Of course I don't want you to go," Tahiri said with a heavy breath and then placed a hand on his cheek, "But the force comes first in this case, not me."

Anakin frowned but Tahiri cut him off with a shake of her head, "No, you need to go, Anakin." He sucked in his breath, knowing that the moment he agreed to her crazy decision to make him go, he'd have to go.

"Are you sure about this?" He questioned. Tahiri nodded.

"The force is telling me to let you go, so I'm trusting that it knows what it's doing," She looked a little frightened for a second before hardening her gaze with confidence. "Go and may the force be with you."

Anakin squeezed her hands and nodded solemnly, "I'll be back."

"I know," Tahiri said with a nod before Anakin kissed her deeply, his hand moving to rest on her stomach, a smile still lingering on the edges of his lips before he turned to leave.

* * *

Upon arriving at the cave entrance, Kirk frowned as the air suddenly filled with an energy that sent cold shivers down Kirk's spine. If not for his constant experience with the feeling he would have actually shivered outwardly but he didn't show any sign of being unnerved. Kirk looked calm as could be from an outsider's perspective. He turned his head slightly to see the entrance light up with floating flames.

Kirk knew them well. They were the same color as the flames Anakin Solo had been using.

**A/N- Sorry, this is really short, I wanted to get a chappie up soon (don't worry there's more on the way, because this is a long weekend like I said before). Thanks for reading! =) **


	50. Birthplace of the Fallen

**Chapter 49**

**Birthplace of the Fallen**

_A/N- Once again, I have had an elongated delay. -_-… You can smack me now. I have no excuses except to say that I've had a long and stressful week so I'll be making up for my lack of updates with this weekend (since my original plans were unceremoniously canceled). _

_But enough of that. Here's the next chappie and it's long overdue. My apologies to the readers who have patiently been waiting (under the Jedi code of course), I am of course eternally grateful for all of you who have been keeping up with the series this far. =)_

**Iluvsugarcookies: ** I will be sure to add more Natie scenes (this chapter has a few without Kirk in them). Thanks for reading! =)

_Just to note: I am going to be posting the introduction to my next story (the next installment in the series) titled "Fallen Knight" (which is part one of the Heritage Series) soon. Probably within the next few weeks if all goes well. _

_Well, no more stalling! _

_Without further ado, here's the next chapter of "Life and the Force." _

_Yarg,_

_-Don =P_

* * *

Kirk's eyes narrowed and then within seconds he rolled off to the side as a jet of purplish black flames shot past where he'd been standing moments before. He then rolled to a kneeling position and stared with harsh eyes at the figure emerging from the darkness of the cave.

"Surprised, Kirk?" The figure's mouth curled into a smile. Kirk stood up without taking his eyes off the figure.

"No." Kirk replied flatly and without a single twitch of muscle besides his mouth as it moved. There was no mistaking the presence. But it didn't stop Kirk's jaw from tightening after a few minutes of no movement on either of their parts.

"Good, then this will make it easier on the both of us," A deep violet colored lightsaber glowed in the shadows as Kirk ignited his own blade.

_Things would be easier if you didn't know my fighting style so well_, Kirk thought as he struck forward, only to be sent flying into the nearest wall. His back struck first, shortly followed by his head before he slid to the ground like a limp ragdoll.

* * *

As Anakin pulled out of hyperspace his brow knitted itself in a tight crease. The planet before him had a distinctly cold feel to it, despite that it wasn't a cold planet from what Anakin's database could tell. The force wasn't letting on why it was giving Anakin that feeling but he wasn't about to wait to find out. He would find his aunt and uncle and get out as fast as humanly possible, which, for a Solo, wasn't ever fast enough, Anakin thought wryly to himself. He turned his head as his ship lowered onto a small ledge just below a cave. A small pathway led up to the cave's entrance and Anakin's eyes narrowed once more as he walked down the ramp and reached out with the force as soon as he was off to the side of the cave entrance. There was nothing to feel. Anakin scowled. It was the same kind of feeling he'd gotten from Degobah: a sort of emptiness in the force, yet there was a beckoning power that pushed Anakin's reluctant legs into motion. He lifted his hand and extended it, palm facing towards the darkness. Without warning flames leapt from his palm and set the entire entrance ablaze.

As though a heavy burst of invisible cloth had been whipped across the blaze, the flames were brushed off into a cloud of smoke.

"Well done, I see you've already sensed the way this cave works," Anakin's eyes squinted, trying to see past the smoke as a figure in a dark cloak stepped forward. "I'm sure you're wondering," The figure said in an almost gently charismatic tone, "Who I am?"

Anakin frowned, I'm more wondering if I should be relieved or ready to kill him. "I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

The figure looked taken aback and then smiled as a laugh broke through the figure's lips, "You certainly are more belligerent than most Jedi I've met."

Anakin took his turn to smile wryly, "That's probably because I'm not a Jedi."

The figure looked confused and then frowned, "Then what are you?"

Anakin looked back at the sky as it turned a mixture of purple, orange and a blazing yellow as the sun set. "I'm not sure." The purple sunk beneath a dark rain cloud before the pouring began to thud down on the dry, cracked earth.

* * *

As the thudding of what sounded like feet pounded down on the roof, Natie looked up at the sky. "Rain," her eyes flicked over as the downpour soaked her head.

The rain had been a premonition symbol for as long as she could remember. It had been a symbol of two things, according to both Brookes and Nokir. To Brookes it meant a change in the wind.

But to Nokir it meant one thing: death.

Not that Natie was one for superstition or for reading into signs, but every time Nokir had said something about symbolism or signs, he'd been right. He used to tell her stories about how when he was younger that it would rain right before a loved one was about to die. It was a warning from the gods to make one's last amends according to Chiss culture and to Nokir, who still strongly believed in the culture that had raised him and inherently killed him.

She frowned as the wind picked up and whipped her hair from her face. It was strangely quiet. Natie had never been one for quiet nights. They had bothered her since she was younger. No matter how calming quiet seemed, it always spoke more volumes than the noise she heard and it scared her to no end. It came as no surprise to her that Kirk couldn't stand silence either.

But mainly what bothered her about the rain today was that there hadn't been any signs of rain before now and she was usually able to feel the change in temperature before rain came down in the past. This time she'd only started to feel the cold set in after the rain came down.

Nokir was right. Rain did mean something was about to go wrong. Kirk would have said it had to do with the force. Before she'd had denied both claims. Now Natie believed them.

* * *

James sat frozen on the couch. After unloading everything he'd been keeping a secret, he had averted his gaze from Wynn and taken to staring at his hands as they gripped his knees. It seemed like ages ago that he had finished talking, but Wynn had still not responded to his story about how his parents were loyal to the Empire, how he had lost his entire family to the Yuuzhan Vong, and lastly how many of the clones now running around with Xillanor could in fact be clones of James himself.

"James." He jerked his head up to see that Wynn was not only still there but she was giving him a look of concern. Why did she still care? He was the most demented person, if he could even call himself a human at all. "I know you probably don't think that anyone could possibly accept you or your past, because you think you're irreversibly screwed up," She smirked, "Well, I've got news for you: my own father was a servant of the Empire. How do you think he got the title of 'Baron'? The Emperor gave my father that title because my father was loyal to the Empire," She shook her head as though trying to wipe away the truth, "Now my father is friends with so many people in the New Republic, he wouldn't think twice about betraying that. Though my uncle might, my father wouldn't."

James looked into her eyes, wonderment crossing his features. Not only she did she not hate him or want to run away; she really wanted to empathize with James. He was beyond perplexed.

"You want to know," Wynn said slowly, "Why I don't hate you." James didn't respond but the question was indeed eating away at him. "Because there's nothing about you that's worth throwing away just because of your past," She took his hands and clasped them in hers, "Look, James, this is probably hard for you to believe, but I do care about you. A lot. More than I have anyone in a long time."

He swallowed before he found his voice, "But I'm not even real." Wynn leaned over and kissed him before shrugging. The warm tingling reddened his cheeks and he blinked as the color in Wynn's eyes deepened as she looked at him.

"You seem real enough to me."

* * *

"Who are you?" Anakin demanded after silence had fallen between himself and the cloaked figure. The figure's hand rubbed the figure's chin before looking thoughtfully at Anakin.

"Who or what?" The figure questioned. "Be sure you know what you are asking."

"I know what I'm asking," Anakin said coldly, "I'm asking who you are and that will answer what you are."

"So you are asking me who I am." The figure asked, stepping forward to the point where half the figure's face was still in shadows but the other showed an unshaven face with an ice blue eye staring at Anakin.

"I'm you."

* * *

Tahiri slowly made her way through the kitchen as she prepared some caf. Almost twenty four hours had elapsed since Anakin had left and each passing minute, second, and hour seemed like years. She knew she had been the one who'd pushed him into leaving but that hadn't made waiting for him any easier. If she hadn't been pregnant, she'd have gone with him but she knew she had to take Kam's life into account now in addition to her own. Kam was now almost a month old in her womb and she could feel him getting stronger and more aware of his own life as time passed.

One thing she knew about Kam was that he wasn't going to be easy to handle with the amount of force power he was sure to have. Between Anakin's insane amount of force strength and concentration and Tahiri's own innate force talents, plus both of them being extremely stubborn, Kam was sure to be a handful. But Tahiri wouldn't have it any other way. She hummed softly, using the force to send the sound towards Kam.

A sharp pang shot through her entire body and she heard a cry through her mind, _Tahiri! _

_I'm fine,_ She sent, _Focus on what you're doing, Anakin_. This received a dubious grunt, Anakin's stubbornness could be somewhat endearing sometimes. _You're on a mission, Hero Boy, do what you need to do._

_Fine, but I'm not letting this slide_. _We'll talk when I get back._

She smiled to herself, _I look forward to it_. She could almost feel Anakin sigh through their bond before he returned to his task, cutting off their force bond talk. She sighed and felt through the force for Kam and when she sensed he wasn't hurt, she returned her attention to figuring out what the sudden pain had been from. It hadn't seemed like a physical pang, and because she'd just spoken to Anakin, she knew it wasn't anything that had happened to him. She'd have known if it was.

Tahiri turned her head and then it hit her.

"Jesse."

* * *

Kirk's eyes snapped open and he instinctively slashed out with his lightsaber and received a low moan when the blade connected with flesh. The burning of skin filled his nostrils and then he kicked out and leapt to his feet, standing over the fallen form of his opponent. Kirk flicked his blade to his opponent's neck.

"Give me a good reason why I shouldn't just kill you right now," Kirk said in a flat and unperturbed tone. The opponent grinned.

"Because it goes against your current code of honor," Kirk had no time to respond before he was stabbed through the chest by the glowing blade in his opponent's hand. Kirk grimaced but then used the force to pry a boulder free from the ceiling and dropped it, causing his opponent to jump back, wrenching the blade from Kirk's chest. He bit down on his lip to keep from letting any of his anguish show and then stuck three times, downing his startled opponent. One hand gripped Kirk's damaged chest and the other held tightly onto his lightsaber, his knuckles white from the tension.

"I'm impressed, you've grown," The robed figure said with a smile, before pushing back the hood, "It's been a while."

Kirk's eyes never left his opponent as he nodded soberly, a mix of confused excitement and misplaced affection on his face. "I thought you were dead, Master."

The robed figure grunted, "Please, Kirk. Me, dead? I think too much time with the Jedi has scrambled your brain," Kirk scanned over the figure, now that he could look at the figure properly. The scar located across the figure's right eye and the well muscled arms showed the physical as well as force strength that had made Kirk's master powerful. "You've kept quiet all these years, I wondering if you were alive yourself, Kirk." The master's lip curled, revealing two distinct fangs. "Though threatening to kill me is going a bit far." The wolf-like creature's face smirked in an amused way.

"How did you know I was serious?" Kirk asked. The wolf laughed, a growl-like bark sound that made Kirk smile the memories it brought back.

"I was your master at one point, Kirk, I think I would be able to tell when my student was being serious or joking," With a flick of his tail, the wolf's lightsaber snapped back into the wolf's claws.

"Master Tegrid," Kirk said with a frown, "Why are you here?"

A look of suspicion cross the wolf's features and his greenish-yellow eyes bore into Kirk as though he were trying to burn a hole through his former student's body. "Same reason you are, Kirk," The wolf turned his head, revealing the golden streak that ran down the side of Aaeldor Tegrid's black fur. The wolf was an unknown alien species as far as Kirk and Tegrid were concerned, as Tegrid's appearance was that of a dire wolf but he had white fur at the end of his tail as well as white dragon-like leathery wings that were neatly folded beneath his robes. Kirk hadn't questioned the origins of his master's species when they first met but now Kirk was sure it had something to do with why Tegrid was now in a place that felt distinctly of Sith.

"The reports said you had been killed," Kirk said, eyeing Tegrid with a mixture of his own suspicion and to his surprise, anger.

"Your concern over that is not unwarranted, Kirk," Tegrid said, folding his arms into his sleeves. "I was marked as a potential Sith," He shrugged, "Thus the New Republic wanted me dead."

Kirk's jaw tightened. As far as he was concerned, Aaeldor Tegrid wasn't in any way, shape, or form, a Sith, a different kind of Jedi, maybe, but a Sith? _Never, _Kirk's insides seethed. A firm grip tightened around Kirk's shoulder. He looked up at his master as he placed a comforting hand on Kirk's shoulder.

"We aren't Sith, Kirk," Tegrid said, "We are simply an order that supports a different form of force strength."

Kirk scrutinized his master both with his eyes and the force. He felt nothing that would give him a clear idea of what Tegrid's intentions were. Already the wolf's wounds were healing of their own accord. Kirk had long gotten used to the strange healing powers that the wolf he'd called "Master" for so long, had had.

"So you're the leader of the dark Jedi?" Kirk questioned. The dark energy of the force was teetering but it didn't lean light or dark. It was the same feeling Kirk had gotten when he'd first met Tegrid. He shook his head.

"No, I'm the leader of The Fallen."

**A/N- Another short chapter. I'm going to get the next chapter up before the weekend's over. Thanks for reading! =) **


	51. Defiance

**Chapter 50**

**Defiance**

_A/N- Well, I've had another delay once again. This one was shorter so I hope everyone will forgive me. The next few weeks are going to be much the same in terms of delays because I'll be busy with work and on top of that I'll be tired (so when I do get free time I'll probably not have the energy to update as often). So hang in there until the summer (at which point I will update as often as possible- and there won't be week long delays- if there are I will give a heads up)._

_That said, the chapters are probably going to be shorter but are moving towards the end of the trilogy (so the conflict is building even if the chapters are short). _

_Iluvsugarcookies: Well, I like Kirk too much to kill him off anyways, so you're good. =) I'm glad you liked it. I figured some Wynn/James fluff was long overdue. You will. I'm building on that more in this chapter. Thanks for the R&R! =)_

_I think that about covers it. Oh, one more thing. I believe the hit count number for this fic is the third highest of all of my fics (and just passed the number for "Life's Song" and is close at the heels of "When it Begins Again). Thanks so much to everyone who is reading- even if you're not reviewing (I know you're there and I appreciate you guys taking the time to read this fic). _

_Da dun. _

_-Don ^_^_

_

* * *

_

_Mara Jade. _

The name had turned heads in the old days of the empire. Or rather her other name "The Emperor's Hand," had. She had become the icon of a new type of warfare. One of stealth, of secrecy, and accuracy that had put a stop to many conflicts that would have overturned the Empire years before the Rebellion had made its final move. Long before Mara realized what she'd gotten herself into, she was born into a role that she would be doomed to play until time released her or she perished in the line of fire that she constantly ran through.

Mara Jade was never safe. The word didn't exist for her. It had been enough just exist, to be noticed by the Emperor's seemingly kind gaze. He had given her a purpose, a reason to live, a reason to just be.

_Traitor. _

In the years following the fall of the Empire Mara still heard the occasional haunting echo of the Emperor's chilling voice as he condemned her actions against the Empire, against Thrawn, against the Emperor's teachings, and more importantly, against him. Mara had turned against the very ideals she had lived by for the past nineteen years of her life until that point. She had indirectly raised a hand against the man who had been the closest thing to family and over time didn't regret it one bit. Why? She could only guess. Was it trust? Was it the lack of meaning that the Emperor's death had left her with?

Had she known that she was going to betray the only person who had acknowledged her, the only person who had shown her that she was worth more than just the clothes on her back, would she had tried to avoid that course? Would she have been able to? Mara knew that because of how things had turned out, she could only assume that the events leading up to her current life were all paths carved by the will of the force.

_Could she defy it? Defy the force itself? _

_To do so would be to deny her very being. She would have to deny her own reason for existing, to deny her own life. The force was as much a part of her as her own skin. It bound people to a path that they chose but at the same time guided people down paths that made complete sense, thus making them the only choice to follow through with. Was it her own volition that she had chosen so many years back? Or was it the force's will that had chosen for her?_

_Defiance. _

Mara knew the term well. It was ingrained into her being. Rebellion was now part of her life because she was a Jedi who defied anything that seemed wrong or unjust. She had to defy what was wrong.

_Then what is wrong? _

Wrong was harming the innocent according to the Jedi code.

_So following the code makes you right no matter what?_

There isn't anything that is inevitably wrong or right. The force is the only thing that is right and that's because it's life itself.

_You are a Jedi and therefore a guide to the ways of the force. You guide others to the right paths of life. _

That's not true. Life is as broad and open to interpretation as the laws set down by anyone else.

_But to the galaxy you are right- because you are a Jedi who knows the will of the force._

Do I? I've defied life itself many times, am I still of the force then?

_Always. _

Mara blinked as the lights all the way down the cave's hallway went out to reveal a single glowing blue figure.

"You're-" Mara breathed, not quite believing what she was seeing enough to finish her statement.

"Surprised? I thought you of all people would know what you would find here, Mara Jade," The blue figure waved a hand, the figure's robe rippled as he did so. He turned to gesture to the cave, "There is much we don't know about this place, but we do know it was once the home of a powerful and influential group of force users."

"Sith," Mara said in affirmation. The figure turned his head to look at Mara with understanding eyes and she found herself shift when he shook his head.

"No and yes," The figure smiled and waved his hand again, the lights went back on, leaving a faint blue hue on everything down the passageway. "Yes, we followed Sith teachings, but we weren't ever Sith in the way that Darth Bane or Darth Sidious were Sith."

Mara folded her arms across her chest, "So what are you saying? That you're not evil incarnate?"

"Hardly," The figure said, folding his own arms into the sleeves of his shimmering robe. "If anything I am the reason you are alive."

Mara snorted derisively, "Don't make me laugh," She scowled, "You were the reason I ended up with Palpatine in the first place." She faltered when she saw the sides of the figure's lips curl upwards.

"Yes, I set you on that path and therefore saved you from becoming one of the lowly scum of the galaxy that is trampled into dust. You weren't meant to be that, so I revealed you to Palpatine. I pitied you. You, a child of no consequence to anyone but the force itself, thus it was the will of the force that I give you a chance to develop your force potential."

Mara's jaw moved soundlessly for a few seconds before she clamped it shut altogether, glaring at the figure in front of her. So he knew what would become of her or at least he knew that something would happen involving Mara so he needed to set her life in motion. He knew all along. Her determination, her training, her meeting of Luke, and her defiance of the Emperor at the end, had all been a plan orchestrated by the one person she wanted to hate with a passion, but couldn't. After all, she couldn't hate someone who was a ghost and a powerful one at that. _If he's here_, Mara thought, a cold fear running down her spine, _…Then he's done what Exar Kun could not. _

"Welcome home," The figure said with a chillingly warm smile, "Fortunate Child."

"Galden," Mara said, now taking in the face before her. "Jaelid Galden…" Her insides seized. "Skywalker."

His smile continued to frame his face as the passageway glowed brightly and then turned a crimson hue.

* * *

A tapping of a shoulder,_ Mmm? _

_Do you regret anything? _

_If I regret anything, it's that I didn't make the right decisions when it was important to make them._

_Why?_

_Because if I hadn't made them… I don't know where I'd be._

_Don't you want to know?_

_Maybe it's better not to. _

_How do you know if it's better to or not?_

Silence.

* * *

Anakin stared hard into the blue eyes that so resembled his own. It was possible that someone had made a droid that looked like Anakin, but to have someone be Anakin exactly was a far stretch. "You aren't me," Anakin then shook his head as if to further his denial, "No, you can't be me."

"Nothing is impossible," The figure said. "You've said so yourself on many occasions."

"This is different," Anakin replied flatly, "This is my life and I know I'm the only one who's living it. If anything, you're a clone, though how someone made an accurate clone, I don't know."

The figure's lips curled as the hood dropped back to reveal a boyish face identical to Anakin's own, with physical features exacted down to the last cell. "I _am_ you, Anakin Solo."

Anakin's eyes narrowed, "That's not possible."

"Not probable maybe, but not impossible," The identical replied, lifting his hand and extending it. Anakin immediately held up his hands, ready to use force fire and waited. The attack never came. Anakin lifted his gaze to stare at the figure who looked exactly like him.

"Who are you?" Anakin repeated.

"I told you," The figure said, his voice not changing its tone or volume. If anything the tone was reasonable and calm, much like Anakin's usual demeanor. "I'm _you._"

Anakin sighed, "Fine. You're me," He folded his arms across his chest and furrowing his brow in a way that made him look incredibly like his mother when she was about to enter into an intense debate. "So what do you want from me?"

The figure turned his head and gestured to the cave, "To show you the truth."

Anakin's brow furrowed. "The truth?" Was this some kind of joke? Anakin wasn't entirely sure what he was getting himself into but decided fighting himself, even figuratively speaking, was a bad idea. After all, he knew he couldn't win. He shook his head to break his own reverie before returning his gaze to the figure.

"Okay, so what truthare you going to show me?" Anakin resisted the urge to use sarcasm when he said that. He couldn't believe he was agreeing to this, but he'd already convinced himself, in more ways than one.

"Of what might have been," Suddenly the figure's face changed and it grew younger, rounder and more haunted. Anakin continued to stare as his surroundings suddenly changed and he found himself standing in the marshes of a familiar swamp.

"This is," Anakin glanced around.

"Mykyr," The figure emerged from the trees, "But not the one you know." Anakin turned and suddenly found himself looking, in complete shock, at himself. Though the Anakin now making his way through the trees wasn't wearing the blue uniform constructed by the Sytars and he wasn't accompanied by Sytars either. This Anakin looked energetic but his demeanor was contained. He stole glances back at two members of the group following him, strange looking people that the current Anakin didn't recognize. They had a distinctly dark feeling about them that he didn't like though he couldn't place why that was.

Then he saw her.

"Tahiri," Anakin said, his eyes resting on the young girl as she made her way through the trees. Indeed it was Tahiri, though she, like the other Anakin, was also much younger. There were also more scars on her face and she kept her eyes focused on the Anakin walking in front of her.

"This is the Mykyr that would have been," The figure said, coming over to stand next to the current Anakin. "One that you did not live through."

Anakin's blood went cold, _Tahiri's vision. So it was possible that I could have died. Why didn't I?_

"Watch, Anakin," The figure said, "You will see why it is still relevant that you know what your death will do to the galaxy: one step at a time."

* * *

"A vision?" Tionne repeated.

Natie nodded, "Of Kirk's death."

Tionne frowned, "Are you sure about this?" The pain on her face was clear as she spoke. The hurt of Kam's death was still fresh in her heart and Natie was sure it would be for some time. Though Kirk wasn't related to Kam or Tionne directly, Kirk had been close enough to Kam for Tionne to feel pain at the mere thought of losing someone else.

"I'm sorry, Master Solusar," Natie said, "It's just that you're the only Jedi I could think of who would know something about visions or signs."

Tionne got the message, "With Master Skywalker gone it's difficult to interpret these things," she said with a slow nod, "I'm not sure I know much about them, except that they don't always come true. Master Skywalker often warned us, when we were trainees, not to obsess over visions lest they lead us down a path of darkness that we can't escape," She looked at Natie, "You know the story of Darth Vader, correct?"

Natie nodded, "Most of it, but I only know bits and pieces since I grew up on the Lower Levels of Coruscant. I didn't get much news or hear too many stories."

Tionne nodded and began to pour two cups of tea for both of them, "Anakin Skywalker was a man of morals," Tionne said, placing the teapot back onto the table and handing a cup and saucer to Natie. "He rarely did anything that would question his sense of justice. Yet, he felt threatened by a vision. A vision that threatened the one thing that he cared dearly about in his life at that point," Tionne looked directly at Natie as she continued, "Because he didn't want to lose that person, he listened to the advice of the man who would become Emperor Palpatine."

For the first time since Natie had met Tionne Solusar, Natie noticed that Tionne's expression was not only serious but it was harsh. Even without the force Natie could tell that Tionne was only being firm because she cared about Kirk and Natie both. But it was still shocking to see someone as gentle hearted and filled with a joyous spirit as Tionne, suddenly look so sober and almost broken. If anything, Tahiri was the last member of Tionne's immediate family that she had left.

"You understand then," Tionne said, her eyes still fixated on Natie, "That you shouldn't allow something like a vision affect your judgment. Especially since you, like Anakin Skywalker, have nothing to lose. Kirk is also like that. He has nothing left to his name but a past shrouded in pain and darkness, and you are the only source of light he's had in a long time. Don't throw that away on a vision that might not even come to pass."

Natie nodded slowly and then inclined her head to the Jedi Master and Historian, "Thank you, Master Solusar. I appreciate your time. " Tionne held up a hand.

"Please, you're a friend of Kirk's, there's no need for formalities," Tionne's warm smile returned now. "Come by any time. I'm sure I'll be in better spirits when Tahiri's done traveling the galaxy," She sighed with a wry smile, "Force knows that girl has my hair turning a deeper shade of white."

Natie's own lip turned up in a half smile, "But your hair's silver."

Tionne chuckled, "You certainly do remind me a little of Jedi I once taught when I was younger."

Natie looked confused, "Who?" Tionne waved her hand.

"I'll tell you when the time's right," Tionne smiled as she nodded, indicating that she knew that Natie had somewhere else to be. Jedi really didn't miss anything, especially those who were once students of the current Grand Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker. Natie smiled to herself as she left the home of Tionne Solusar,

Now she had to talk to the only member of the New Republic that would know what to do in Natie's situation.

* * *

"I had wondered when you were going to find this place," Tegrid said, looking with bright and almost warm eyes at Kirk, "It has always been your home, whether you realized it or not."

Kirk looked with shadowed eyes out at the landscape that had haunted his dreams for the past ten years, "I never thought it was a home at all. I never wanted to come back here."

Tegrid nodded in understanding, concern lit his face as he watched his former student's expression, "But you had reason to return."

Kirk looked over at his former master, "To bring Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker back to the New Republic." He stated.

"Was that all?" Tegrid questioned with a hint of well trained curiosity and patience in his tone. Kirk looked at his former master with a mixture of annoyance and knowledge that his master was right.

"No, I sensed from the moment I landed here that the force had something here that it wanted me to see," Kirk looked down the darkened passageway and then back out at the dry landscape. "Though what, I'm not sure." Tegrid placed a hand on Kirk's shoulder.

"You will know when it is time," Tegrid then straightened. When he had last seen Kirk, the boy had been a young man of twenty one, fresh out of his experience on Deshar and in need of guidance. But Kirk had met Tegrid long before then. The wolf Master had helped to liberate Kirk from the Sith prison when Kirk was eight, and not long after that Tegrid had to vanish in order to remain alive. Many years later, Kirk met Tegrid briefly again taught and helped Kirk before he disappeared when his ship was attacked, and the last thing Kirk heard was the Holo-News trumpeting that it had brought down a potentially dangerous Sith.

Kirk was now a stronger man, full of a new energy, one that Tegrid would have noticed even without the force. "You've fallen in love again."

Kirk nearly jumped at the point-blank statement, "M-Master!" Tegrid laughed, his fangs curling in an amused smile.

"It's been a long time since I've heard that," Tegrid continued to smile while Kirk recomposed himself.

"Isn't there some kind of code against reading the minds of your students?" Kirk asked with clear annoyance. Tegrid raised his brow at that.

"No, there isn't," Tegrid shook his head. Kirk fumed for a second more before he grew serious once more.

"That aside," Kirk said, "What did you mean by you being the Leader of the Fallen?"

Tegrid looked surprised, "You really don't know?"

Kirk folded his arms across his chest indignantly, "I wouldn't have asked if I did, would I?"

Tegrid gave a curt nod of approval, "Point," He folded his arms into his sleeves, "When I disappeared, I came here for shelter, not knowing what I would find," Tegrid's expression grew sullen, "I found a group of wounded force users, some of whom were former Sith and others were Jedi that escaped capture during the Yuuzhan Vong invasion. For years they had been in hiding here. One of them knew me and asked me to teach the ways of the force in a balanced way, no dark, no light- just the force," Tegrid let out an elongated breath, anticipation and tension in his tone.

"That was what I set out to do and since my arrival, I have taught many students," Tegrid looked at Kirk with a guarded expression, "Some of whom have left to seek out other lifestyles. But we are all part of the larger group known as the Fallen Knights."

Kirk's jaw tightened, "Then one of your students," He said coldly, "Was Jesse Veila."

Tegrid's grin showed his sharpest fangs as his eyes glinted with pride, "Yes."

**A/N- Woo! This one was longer than the last and I'm not making any guarantees, but I'm hoping to get another chapter up this weekend if I can. Thanks for reading! =) **


	52. Pathways of Nordia

**Chapter 51**

**Pathways of Nordia **

_A/N- Whoa, sorry for the super long wait, Everyone. The end of college term was insane and I got so wrapped up in my final projects and stuff that I didn't update. Even when I did finish, I was busy trying to pack all of my stuff to take home and now I'm busy with my younger brother's graduation (family stuff, you know how that goes). So here's an update to at least start up again. I promise that I won't keep you waiting for months at a time (especially now that it's summer, woo!). _

**Iluvsugarcookies- Yeah, I liked Tionne too, but I feel like Tionne will get her chance to bounce back, plus she still has Tahiri. Ha, ha. I think so too. Tegrid is supposed to be a mix between a wise teacher and a wise ass. XD. Thanks for reading! =)**

**Tiki is my homeboy- I'm glad you enjoyed it. Ha, ha. I'm not sure about that, but I do spend a lot of time developing my OCs, so I guess it paid off if you think that. =) Thanks for reading!**

Oh and by the way- I'm so glad someone else voted in my OC poll! *Does happy dance* Although this brings the poll to a tie between two characters (but I won't say who so as to leave the voting up to you guys). So, if you're reading this and haven't voted, vote! If you are reading without an account, by all means get one (so you can vote and enjoy the other benefits that comes with being a member of FFN!). Please? I'm keeping this poll open until the end of this series- and then I'll probably start a new character poll for something else that's related, I haven't decided what that is yet).

_That said, please enjoy this next chapter. Yes, I will explain the title. Wait and see. *Winks* _

_Laters,_

_-Don ^_^_

_

* * *

_

Anakin paused, his eyes focused on the scene unfolding before him. He had already seen the team of Jedi and the two people, who he'd found out were dark Jedi, make their way through Mykyr. With each step Anakin could feel that that the team was beginning to tire and already he could sense fear hidden in the backs of all the minds of the members, except for the Dark Jedi, their feelings were shrouded in a darkness that even Anakin couldn't fathom. Something was off about them, but no matter how long he thought about it or tried to feel for an answer, nothing came. Anakin also felt confusion building as he watched his other self trying desperately to keep the morale and focus of the team up.

Already Anakin could feel something was wrong. He lifted his eyes as the team approached a small village surrounded by homes of Yuuzhan Vong slaves. Anakin's skin crawled. Out of nowhere slaves began to attack the Jedi along with Yuuzhan Vong warriors. Anakin tried to focus on Tahiri, but his attention was ripped from her fight when he heard a scream, a very distinct scream.

"Anakin!" It was Jaina's voice. Anakin's throat constricted. He reluctantly turned his head to the source and saw his other self, but with a Yuuzhan Vong staff growing from his side. A cold chill dripped down Anakin's spine as the other members of the team crowded around their wounded leader. Tahiri's eyes said it all: Anakin was fatally wounded.

Kirk shifted his gaze for a second before resting it on his master. "So you were the one who trained Tahiri's brother? Why didn't you bring him back?" Kirk demanded, when Tegrid remained silent with his furry head bowed slightly, Kirk grabbed his master's cloak and slammed the wolf against the wall. "Why!" He growled.

"Your anger hasn't subsided," Tegrid said calmly, a glint forming in his eyes.

"Don't change the subject," Kirk snarled. Tegrid laughed.

"I haven't," The wolf's eyes went to the ceiling and then back at Kirk. "Your anger is completely relevant."

Kirk gritted his teeth, "Lies."

"You can't tell, can you?" Tegrid said with a satisfied grin, "I've hidden my presence this long and I'll hide it just a little longer." The wolf's eyes then fixated on Kirk for a second.

"The balance has finally been found inside you, Kirk, I don't intend to let you squander it," Tegrid closed his eyes, "I'm sorry, Kirk," With a flick of his wrist, the butt of the wolf's lightsaber struck Kirk squarely in his chest, through the blade Tegrid sent a force wave and Kirk collapsed. Tegrid caught his student and then raised his head to stare into the eyes peering through the darkness further into the cave.

"And now it begins."

* * *

Leia Organa Solo found herself facing the most difficult argument since the days when the New Republic was just beginning to emerge and its former leader had vacated the seat to Leia. She straightened, readying herself for the onslaught she knew she was sure to face once she boarded one of the platforms in the main chamber.

"You will not fail," Leia turned to the younger woman now walking over to where Leia stood. Her face didn't show the pain that Leia knew was there. It was the same pain that Leia had felt since Jacen's death. The courage and strength that it had taken Tenel Ka to stand here today and take on the problems of the galaxy while her own heart suffered was immense and Leia both admired and respected the younger woman for it; there was nothing that Tenel Ka couldn't do as far as Leia was concerned and Tenel Ka had far surpassed Leia in Tenel Ka's ability to focus on the greater tasks at hand. But because Leia knew that making personal sacrifices was detrimental and trying, she couldn't help but worry that Tenel Ka would someday crumble beneath her mask of pride and courage. Underneath all the layers Leia knew she'd find a broken girl who longed to once more be together with the boy she'd loved since she was a teen. Leia wasn't worried about her own failures on the floor of the New Republic's council so much as her ability to maintain her strength while her insides trembled with fear and pain.

_If only Luke was here, he'd be able to tell me how to calm my feelings, _Leia thought to herself. She sought out for her brother in the force but, in finding nothing, returned her attention to boarding the platform next to Tenel Ka.

"The council is now in session," Korsk Deris scanned the Grand Chamber, making eye contact with all of the delegates until his gaze came to rest on Tenel Ka and lastly on Leia. "Now is the time to bring forth any issues to the council."

Leia immediately stepped forward and she noted that Deris' eyes never seemed to leave her even when he turned his head to look at the other delegates. It was a strange feeling and Leia felt unnerved by the invasive quality of his stare. It probed deeply into her eyes in a way that Leia couldn't even fathom was possible. She couldn't tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but the fact remained that Korsk Deris was an unusual leader as well as an unreadable one.

"You have something to address, Senator Solo?" Deris asked, his silvery eyes now resting firmly on Leia. She straightened once more before responding.

"Yes," She replied. Tenel Ka looked over at Korsk Deris, her own eyes scrutinizing the Chief of State before turning her head to a neutral position, not looking in any particular direction. "I am concerned with the lack of security in the New Republic in regards to the Bounty Hunter known as Xillanor."

Other delegates began to mutter and Deris raised a hand to silence them. "This is a valid issue, however, giving more forces to planets when we cannot determine the source of the attacks."

"If I may," All eyes went to the sturdy form of Colonel Gallender J. Iblis, "There is nothing wrong with specific planets having some power of their own."

"That is all well and fair, Colonel," Another delegate interjected, "However, you have not considered that there are larger problems at hand."

The Colonel's flaring eyes rotated to rest on the delegate, who was a Bothan like Gallender, "Larger problems, Senator K'naal? I do believe you already know that many people in this chamber have suffered personal losses at the hands of this Bounty Hunter."

K'naal balked and then fell silent as Iblis turned his head to face Leia, "I second Senator Solo's motion to tighten security. I personally will take charge of the project, if I may." Korsk Deris turned to Leia.

"Senator Solo, are you satisfied with this solution?" Deris asked. Leia inclined her head to both the Colonel and the Chief of State.

"I appreciate this, thank you," She said. Tenel Ka inclined her head as well.

"Then that settles the matter," Deris stated, "Next issue?"

Leia walked down the hallway and Tenel Ka smiled as they made their way down the hallway. "It seems as though you did not need my help, Senator Solo."

"No," Leia said with a smile and then her expression turned sober, "But the galaxy does."

"This," Tenel Ka said with a nod, "Is a fact."

* * *

Deris made his way down the hallway, his eyes scanning the crowds of delegates going their separate ways. His presence was noticeable for his unusual species and his status, but he still managed to keep a low profile. His eyes went across the hallway and then as he crossed into a shadowy area, he paused only to turn his head to look at the figure leaning against the wall, out of sight from anyone who didn't look twice.

"You gave quite a show back there," The figure said with a smirk, his broad arms didn't shift much as he kept them folded against his chest but his eyes shimmered with a bright light in the midst of the shadows.

"I'm not the one who playing the innocent," Deris retorted with a bemused scowl. "Don't forget why you're here." The figure left the wall and waved his hand.

"I won't," He said with an amused grin and then turned his head, "But I'm not the only one playing the double-crosser," Then the figure was gone. Deris frowned and then let out a rare laugh.

"I look forward to your performance then," Deris then shifted his data files in his grasp before heading down the hall to meet his advisors.

* * *

Leia paused, her force senses picking up the presence in the living room before she opened the front door to her apartment. She looked over to see the young woman that had been with Kirk Dekim sitting on the couch rise to her feet when Leia came in.

"Oh, please, sit down," Leia said, setting her files on the nearest surface. "I'll make some coffee." After a few minutes, Leia made her way back over to the couch and placed a tray with cups and a pot of coffee on the table. She then sat down on the couch herself.

"So, Natie, was it?" Leia questioned. The younger woman nodded.

"Yes, Senator Solo, I'm Natie Renders," She said with a hint of nervousness, "Mr. uh, Solo let me in."

"Please," Leia said with a laugh, "It's Leia, we're all friends here. I sensed you before I came in. Where is Han now?"

"He stepped out saying that he had something to take care of," Natie replied, looking down at her hands. Leia began to pour the coffee.

"Well, let's get started then. Is there something you wanted advice on?" Natie started and then Leia smiled warmly.

"That's why most people come to see me, so don't worry about asking me anything you want to know. I don't know everything, but I'll do what I can." Natie nodded and then straightened. She knew she had to find out what she could to help Kirk, even if it took more involvement in the galaxy around Natie than she really wanted to have.

"Kirk's gone off to find Luke and Kirk'll most likely need our help, what can you do to help them?" Natie asked. Leia's mouth slowly curved into a confident smile.

"Now that," She said, "Is something I'm sure I can do something about."

* * *

"This," Anakin turned his head to see the other Anakin, who had transported the current Anakin, into the alternate Mykyr, standing there in the road without a second glance at the battle, "Is the fate you would have suffered. But it is because of the paths of Nordia that I am able to show you and help you to avoid a similar situation."

"Paths of Nordia?" Anakin repeated. Other-Anakin nodded and looked over at the battlefield, where Alternate-Anakin was being lifted onto a stretcher, his side bleeding profusely. Anakin grimaced and then felt his blood freeze when he saw Tahiri's face. She was doing her best to keep Alternate-Anakin awake and comfort him, but he wasn't doing so well.

"You've been to the first pathway," Other-Anakin said with a solemn smile, "Twice, I might add." Anakin paused and then looked back at Other-Anakin.

"It's the void, the first pathway is the void," Anakin said as the realization dawned upon him and the fact sunk in. Other-Anakin nodded.

"Yes, the first of a series of pathways that no one has, until now, left once entering." Anakin looked over at the stretcher once more and then averted his gaze. Tahiri's expression was too painful to watch.

"The Pathways of Nordia only open once you've returned from the void alive, not as a force ghost," Other-Anakin continued.

"How many pathways are there?" Anakin asked. Other-Anakin's expression remained neutral as he watched the still continuing panic as Alternate-Anakin and the team entered a series of caves. As each scene unfolded, both Other-Anakin and Anakin were transported along with them and Anakin was finding it hard not to watch the scenes even though he didn't want to.

"Infinite," Other-Anakin replied. "The Pathways are created by the force and by one's experiences with the force. Thus, they are infinite as the force is life and life never ends, even if you die, the pathways continue."

Anakin mulled over this before posing his next question, "So the pathways exist even if we don't know about them?"

"Correct," Other-Anakin answered with a curt nod, "But you can only see me because you know about your first Pathway."

"My first pathway? But wasn't the void the general pathway for all people to pass through and then die?" Anakin questioned. The whole concept was sending his mind into knots and he was also preoccupied with the fact that Alternate-Anakin was now attempting to go into a force trance but a loud shout of Yuuzhan Vong warriors distracted Alternate-Anakin partway through his trance.

"Yes, but it is also the first void you helped to create because you were in it, albeit for a short amount of time," Other-Anakin turned his head to focus on the small moment that was unfolding before them.

Alternate-Anakin and Tahiri were talking and Alternate-Anakin was clearly ready to rush off after the Yuuzhan Vong.

"Promise?" Tahiri was saying. Alternate-Anakin had hesitated to give her a kiss and said his confirmation before running off down one of the passageways. Anakin felt a pang as the scene shifted again to a desperate fight. Jaina and Jacen were battling to escape Yuuzhan Vong warriors but were failing. Alternate-Anakin fought hard and was stabbed before he pulled out a detonator and called, "Go! Kiss Tahiri for me, Jacen!"

Then Anakin felt nothing. Alternate-Anakin was dead.

**A/N- More to come, stay tuned! =) I'm busy this week as I've said, but there will be another update this weekend for sure. **


	53. After All

**Chapter 52**

**After All**

_A/N- I'm baaaaaaaaccccccckkkkkkk! Miss me? _

_Ha, ha. Just kidding. XD. _

**Iluvsugarcookies- Good to have you back! Thanks for the review. I'll do my best to keep plugging away. =) **

_Note to everyone: I'm starting a drawing/painting studio art class on Monday and since it runs from the morning until 4PM I'll only be updating at night (and I might miss every other day if I'm tired). I'll keep you guys posted on that, but I thought I'd give a heads up._

_Oh and thanks so much to everyone who has voted in the polls. Remember that I'll be closing the polls as soon as the Namesake series ends (I'll let you know when we're in the final-final stretch, but here's the heads up that that date isn't far off). As it stands there are three characters that have votes and those characters are currently ranked by votes in a first, second, and third place (who will win in the end, you decide!)._

_I think that covers all my notes for this update._

_Thanks again to everyone for your continued support of this series, I sincerely appreciate it._

_Please enjoy!_

_-Don ^_^_

* * *

Anakin felt chills run through his body. Now he was watching as a grief struck Tahiri talked to Alternate-Anakin's body as though he were still alive. Her eyes were so lost and she was talking in a somber way that indicated she really hadn't registered that her best friend, almost boyfriend and her other half, had just died. Anakin couldn't watch it any more than he could stab himself repeatedly in his own heart. He now knew why Tahiri had been so frantic about getting him to understand that he shouldn't be as reckless and carefree about his health and life as he was.

_And I still left her alone, _Anakin thought with self resentment. He turned to look into the cockpit where Jaina was venting out her pain and anger on everyone around her, even Zekk, who was clearly also in pain as well. Jacen had gone missing as well and from what Anakin had seen and heard, Jacen had died as well. Jaina was definitely thrown off balance. Anakin then thought of how torn up she'd been when she thought she'd lost both Zekk and Jacen. If she'd lost Anakin too, he couldn't even imagine what would have happened. He didn't want to.

"Do you understand now, Anakin?" Other-Anakin asked as he stepped over to where Anakin stood watching the scene descend into grim chaos.

"Yeah," Anakin said, not taking his eyes off Tahiri as his face stiffened in somber agony.

"It does not end here, however," Other-Anakin said. Anakin turned his head sharply.

"What else could go wrong?" He demanded. Other-Anakin waved his hand and the scene changed once more.

"Everything, Anakin, and that is why you must see that destruction does not stop at the source." Other-Anakin stepped back so Anakin could see the next scene unfurling before him. He felt his blood go ice cold, hot stabbing seized his heart and he shook his head to rid himself of the image before him but it didn't go away.

No matter how many times he shook his head, he still saw Jaina using her lightsaber to kill Jacen.

* * *

Natie straightened as she finished clipping on the blaster-proof vest of the New Republic and then putting on her helmet and armor from her bounty hunting days. She left the chest armor plates on the table of her apartment and then slung the strap to her blaster across her shoulder.

She could only hope that Kirk wasn't taking any unnecessary risks, but since she knew him too well, she could already tell he'd get into some kind of trouble regardless of whether or not he decided to take the risks. Trouble seemed to follow Kirk Dekim everywhere he went. Natie knew that she really couldn't do anything about it, since she'd only just entered Kirk's life after he'd lived two decades of it as a Jedi lost and in pain. He'd already established most of his connections and then left them behind, only now to pick them up again shortly after he and Natie met. Or maybe it was because she met him that he even considered staying in Coruscant at all. It seemed ludicrous to think that she was the reason he'd changed, but at the same time, he was the real reason she'd changed, so it wasn't impossible.

Natie reached the docking bay, still deep in thought when she nearly jumped as she heard two footsteps stepping up behind her. She turned.

"Sorry, I thought I recognized you from before. You're Kirk's girlfriend, right?" Natie regarded the young woman before her. She couldn't have been more than seventeen or eighteen years old and already there was so much maturity lining the girl's face and lit into her emerald green eyes. "I'm Tahiri Veila." The girl stuck out her hand and Natie took it with wonderment in her eyes.

"Natie Renders," Natie then looked down and then back up at Tahiri's face. "I remember you now," She smiled, "You're married to Anakin Solo."

"Yup, that's my idiot life partner," Tahiri said with a curt nod and a wry smile as she folded her arms across her chest. Natie noticed that Tahiri kept her arms a ways away from her belly and then regarded the girl carefully.

"You're pregnant?" Natie questioned, not wanting to draw conclusions right away. Tahiri smiled fondly and placed her hands on her stomach.

"Yeah, I am," Tahiri looked over at Natie and then nodded. "You can touch it if you want to." Natie tentatively moved closer and placed a hand on Tahiri's stomach and smiled. "You can't feel too much right now, but the force is a heartbeat in itself."

Natie turned her head to look at Tahiri, "You can feel people who are close to you through the force?"

Tahiri nodded and got a faraway look in her eyes as she gazed out at the doors to the docking bay, "That's the only way that I can tell that Anakin will be alright, because the force tells me he will be; the force is life and life is the heartbeat of the force, so I know that as long as the force lives, so will he."

Natie turned her gaze to follow Tahiri's and nodded silently. They stood for a few minutes before Tahiri shifted from one foot to another before speaking, "I know you're going to where Kirk is… and that means you're going to where Anakin is too," Tahiri held out a small box, "Can you take this to Anakin?"

Natie took the box and nodded, "I'll get it to him, don't worry."

"Thank you," Tahiri said, "I know Anakin wouldn't want me there. He worries too much in general, but this time I have to trust that he knows what he's doing."

Natie smiled, "I'm sure he does… in his own way."

Tahiri laughed as she picked up the dry wit in Natie's tone. If there was one thing that the two women had in common, it was that both their partners were reckless idiots, just like James and the rest of the men in the galaxy. Tahiri wondered if it was just something that all males seemed to share with one another or it was just the males that revolved around her life that were like that.

What Anakin seemed to think of as logic, certainly wasn't the norm of logistics in Tahiri's. But it was their dynamic to do things that were, well, impractical since they were always involved in some form of wild adventure.

Tahiri smiled as Natie waved, boarding her ship. _Well, bring on the next one, _Tahiri thought as the docking bay doors opened to reveal the open sky.

* * *

Tegrid made his way down the corridor after leaving Kirk in one of the many hidden rooms that only those members of the Fallen knew about. He turned his head as he felt a familiar presence.

"I didn't expect to see you here… Martell," Tegrid said in a curt tone. The figure shifted as his eyes stared at Tegrid out of the darkness. Suddenly all the candles went out.

"Times change," The figure said in a dead pan tone. Tegrid shifted but hid his discomfort at the sound of the figure's voice.

"Your loyalty certainly has," Tegrid said coldly. The figure shrugged as the figure leaned against one of the rocky walls, folding his arms across his chest.

"As you became a master, so have I," The figure said.

"Not yet," Tegrid said and drew his lightsaber and ignited the silver blade, "You've done enough damage to yourself, Martell, it's time I destroyed what I created."

The figure laughed, "You had no part in what I became. In fact, it was because I ignored you that I grew stronger."

"You grew into a fine Jedi and then you turned yourself into a monster," Tegrid growled, bearing his fangs. The figure regarded Tegrid with an air of boredom and then sighed.

"Very well, as you wish," The figure drew his lightsaber and ignited the crimson blade, casting the corridors in a bath blood red light. "We shall end this according to the rule of two, Master Tegrid."

Tegrid smiled as he raised his blade to meet the first blow, "No, I've hidden the third from you, you won't win this even if you kill me."

The figure raised an eyebrow before slashing down and cutting into the fur on Tegrid's lightsaber wielding arm, "Pity," Then the figure struck again and Tegrid faded for a moment before rising and knocking his opponent back against the wall.

"I'm finishing this, Former Apprentice," Tegrid said and then used the force to bring down the entire ceiling crashing down on the two fighters.

Kirk awoke to hear the thundering sound of pounding and immediately his eyes snapped open and he was on his feet, looking around the small room for the exit. He found the door and opened it, only to find that he was in an empty corridor. Rocks lay at the end of the corridor, blocking any way of Kirk finding out what lay beyond that point. He turned his head and began climbing through the rubble.

He paused as he saw something sticking out from between the rocks. He climbed over the rocks and then down into a small cluster where he could see that the object was a piece of cloth. The same one that Tegrid always wore.

"Master!" Kirk cried and then used the force to lift the rocks, sending them flying down the corridor in his haste. But Kirk could already feel Tegrid's life force fading away by the minute.

He couldn't let his master die, not when Kirk had just found that part of his life again. He needed Tegrid to be there. Kirk needed Tegrid to tell Kirk that he was a stupid kid who was lost and alone. He needed Tegrid to say the truth, no matter how harsh. Kirk bit his lip and then slumped against the rocks as he found that the cloth only led to a torn piece of Tegrid's cloak.

* * *

Luke sat up, his head throbbed even more than it had when he'd woken up before. He hadn't even realized his mind was being invaded until the force of the intrusion had caused Luke to lose consciousness.

The whole truth had come crashing down on him more quickly than he had anticipated and not only that, the truth had come from the mouth of a complete stranger. The young man had told Luke everything before sending the Grand Jedi Master into oblivion. Now Luke was in the cold room by himself and the man, whoever he was, was gone without a trace in the force. Luke felt out with his senses and stood up. The force was back, but he couldn't feel the young man at all. It was as if the young man didn't have a presence at all. Luke frowned as he stared out the single window for a moment.

"_Vader was my master."_

_Luke froze, "How is that possible, you weren't old enough to be his student when he was alive!" _

"_You don't know anything about me, Master Skywalker, give me the courtesy of explaining the truth to you before you go jumping to conclusions." Luke involuntarily shut his mouth at that moment. _

"_I was taught by Darth Vader when I was a little boy and then I was frozen in a block of carbonite, a special kind designed to keep specimen alive for years," The young man turned his eyes to the window, a sort of longing filled them for a fraction of a second before they returned to their natural state of cool and otherwise unreadable expression. "When I awoke, I was here, in one of these rooms," The man looked over at the door, "No one was around but this strange wolf-like creature dressed in rags. He took me in and soon discovered that I had force potential. Who this creature was, I would never truly understand, but he was powerful and I learned much from him; with this creature I completed the training that Vader was forced to abandon to take up complete service with the Empire."_

_Luke remained silent as he let the information sink in. "The creature gave me a name, an identity to live by even though I wasn't truly a real person."_

_Luke then spoke for the first time since the young man had begun telling his story, "Why aren't you a real person?"_

_The man laughed, "Because I'm a clone, Skywalker. A mere imitation of the man I was copied from."_

_Luke frowned, "Who are you the clone of?"_

"_You ask too many questions, Skywalker," The man said, with a bemused smile, "But I'll grant you this one last answer," He inhaled deeply and waved his hand to light the candles floating around in the room. The warm blue glow illuminated the young man's face so that Luke was forced to see the face before him. Luke couldn't put his finger on it, but the face was familiar. _

"_You should know me, Skywalker," The man straightened, "After all, you married my original form's daughter."_

_Luke's head snapped around and he seethed inwardly, "You- you abandoned her!" _

_The young man chuckled, "I'm a clone, Skywalker, nothing more. I had nothing to do with the man that I share exact DNA with. Though it explains why I am force sensitive." _

_Luke jawed for a minute before shutting his mouth. He couldn't believe that he was looking at the cloned form of what Mara's father would have looked like when he was younger. _

"_I must tell you one more thing, Skywalker," The young man said with a complacent smile that sent fear rushing through Luke's veins. "The Empire isn't dead."_

_Then his entire mind went blank under the pressure that was forced through his entire skull to the point where his ears were ringing and he could almost taste metal in his mouth. _

He knew the young man's face and he had a feeling he knew who else had the same kind of ominous presence. Luke needed to tell the New Republic, he had sensed where the danger was coming from and how he needed to act.

Mara rounded the corner and immediately drew her lightsaber as she heard the crunch of rocks and then the tapping of boots on the ground. She slid out of sight of the doorway and then leapt out, bringing her lightsaber under the neck of her opponent.

"Don't move or-" Mara stopped herself, "Luke?"

He smiled, "Good to see you too, Mara."

She sighed and lowered her blade, closing it down. "You've got some explaining to do."

"No kidding," Luke said with a wry smile, "You have no idea what I just found out."

Mara raised an eyebrow and her eyes glittered with a familiar spark, "Try me."

* * *

The figure stopped just outside of the cave, his face still cast in darkness as he gazed out at the golden ground before him. He sighed and slowly his lips begun to curl.

"It seems that the time has come," Then he smiled maniacal smile, "The prophecy must be fulfilled."

**A/N- Thanks for reading! I appreciate all of you who have added me to your favorites and reviewed. I'm feeling the love here and it's great! =) **


	54. Of the Force and Mastery

**Chapter 53**

**Of The Force and Mastery**

_A/N- Hey all. I'm here again for another update. I'm still having some writer's block with most of my other fics, so I figured I'd just focus on this one for now. Sorry for the delay in posting, I've been preoccupied with my art classes (as I mentioned before they take up most of the day, so when I get home I'm super tired and my brain doesn't function). It's only this week and then next week and then I'll be done, so there will be more consistent postings after that. _

_Any rate, I think I covered all the notes I needed to mention in my last A/N- so I'll just reiterate that you should vote in the polls if you haven't already. Thank you to the six voters who have already participated. _

_Please enjoy!_

_Best, _

_-Don "QuixoticQuest" ^_^_

_

* * *

_

Mara leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes as she ingested what Luke had just told her, "So, let me get this straight," She reopened her eyes and looked at him, "You think that Xillanor is planning to revive the Empire?"

Luke nodded, "Either that, or he knows who will."

Mara frowned, "I don't like the sound of that." Luke held up his hands.

"Hey, I don't like it any more than you do, but we have to tell the New Republic that we know this much at least or," He turned his head, "Keep searching and hope we come up with more information."

Mara scowled even more deeply, "Such as?"

"Who that man was," Luke said, his blue eyes furrowing along with his brow. Mara knew that look and she wasn't about to let Luke go on a wild gundark chase.

"Luke," She said sharply. Mara knew his tone well enough to know that he planned to do something that was either reckless or stupid or both. She was positive it was the latter.

"It's not like I _want _to take these risks, Mara, but I'm the Grand Jedi Master, it looks bad when there are Jedi dying all around me and I'm just standing here doing nothing!" Luke's face turned slightly red as his voice cut through the silence of the long tunnel. Mara's green eyes regarded Luke with a sense of understanding as well as serious concern.

"Luke, we're both doing what we can, but going after a complete stranger when the galaxy needs all the Jedi to be united, isn't productive."

Luke sighed, "I know," His eyes went to the ground, "I feel like all the deaths are my fault. Kam's, Jacen's, and I'm getting a bad feeling that it's not going to stop there."

Mara nodded, "No, not if we throw our lives away meaninglessly."

"It's not meaningless if I'm doing my job as the teacher." Luke bit back.

"Which is what?" Mara questioned with a stony glare at him. Luke didn't falter but his insides jolted to see the look in her eyes, it was one he didn't like seeing because it meant she clearly disliked what she was hearing and was likely to start lashing back any second or remain coldly silent.

"To protect the Jedi that this Order needs to survive," Luke stated with an overbearing sense of calm. As she sensed his resolve and acceptance, Mara's gaze softened but still remained firm.

"You forget that the Order still needs you to lead them," Mara replied, looking down the dark passageway. All the floating candles had gone out and cast both Mara and Luke in almost complete darkness. Mara could just make out the lines of Luke's face and he hers.

"There is a time when the mastery must be passed from one person to another," Luke said with a wistful expression. His blue eyes closed as he let himself sink into the warm embrace of the force. It was telling him to act and that was enough for him. He knew what he had to do.

The New Republic needed to know the complete truth, he couldn't go chasing another ghost to a dead end like Han had. Luke reopened his eyes and stared straight into Mara's.

"You've decided, haven't you," She stated, her eyes narrowing as she grow soberly acceptant of Luke's decision. She knew him well enough to realize that once he made a decision, she couldn't convince him otherwise. Luke was also wise beyond his years and could take care of himself. Though despite Luke's resolve, she couldn't help but feel a strong sense of foreboding, but where it was coming from, she couldn't tell. "Go then," She said without waiting for his response. "You have a strange sense of how to handle things, but I trust that after all this time you know what you're doing."

"What do you mean after all this time? I've always known what I was doing," Luke replied with a mixed look of injured pride and incredulousness on his face. Mara rolled her eyes and kissed him, immediately putting all of his retorts from his mind. _I'm surprised that still works, _She thought with some amusement. Some people just didn't change.

Luke pulled away, his hand on his lightsaber as he gave a curt wave of his hand before running down the dark corridor.

* * *

Korsk Deris lifted his head as the phone in his office buzzed. He clicked it.

"Deris," His silver eyes narrowed, "You better have a good reason for calling me right now."

"Don't be so cold, Chief of State," The mocked taunted with a dry wit, "Your involvement in this will produce its desire results when you complete the task assigned to you."

Deris scowled, "You expect me to just outright do something like that?"

The voice on the other end sighed and a clucking sound was heard, "Really now, Chief, you have no sense of propriety. Your orders will be carried out or you'll face the same fate."

"Our mole still has to make his move," Deris said coldly, his brow finally beginning to drip with sweat. The voice turned to a cold and dead-pan tone.

"You leave that to the mole, Deris," The voice changed slightly as the figure on the other end shifted, "Make sure you take care of your end or the mole will fail as well."

"Understood, Sir," Deris said in clear tone of reverence and respect. "It will be done as his Excellency commands."

"As it should be," The voice said approvingly. "Finish your business for the day and arrange a council meeting. I will be along to oversee the results."

"Yes, Sir," Deris inclined his head and then stiffed as he felt a sense of cold dread in his blood.

"Oh, and Deris," The voice said in a falsely sweet tone. "You've been careless. Get rid of the pest under your floorboards."

Deris stiffened, "A-as you will, Sir," the connection buzzed as it was terminated and Deris sat back in his chair with a drawn out breath, running a hand over his face. Then a grin slowly spread across his features as he lowered his hand. "A pest needs the best exterminator. It shall be as his Excellency wills."

Deris then stood up. He had plenty to do in preparation for the meeting. It was time for the prophecy and Deris would set the first piece in motion.

* * *

Anakin swallowed hard as he stared hard at the crying form of Jaina as she clutched tightly onto Jacen's limp form. There was nothing good about the future he was seeing. Every image brought tearing feeling of pain through his entire body.

"Make it stop," Anakin said, averting his eyes as he clutched his fists into white knuckled rocks that he pounded against Other-Anakin's chest. "Stop!"

"Peace, Anakin," Other-Anakin said, "It is not reality, at least not for you."

"What about later?" Anakin demanded. "It could happen! Tahiri's suffering and there's nothing I can-"

"Yes, there is," Other-Anakin cut in. "There is always something you can do. The force is constantly changing and with it the lives of those within it. You must realize now that your choices not only affect you, but those around you. You are the only one who is one with both the light and dark. Therefore only you can achieve all the pathways of Nordia."

Anakin opened his mouth and then shut it, regarding Other-Anakin with sober silence and a slightly furrowed brow. "The pathways only open to the one who follows his divided heart."

"Divided heart?" Anakin questioned, "What do you mean?"

"Your heart cannot be whole with just one part of the whole force or the pathways will not open," Other-Anakin said, "Therefore, you must retain your current course or face death when the time comes to enter the second pathway."

"But I'll be exiled from the Jedi Order!" Anakin snapped. "I can't do that." He turned his head away and then turned as he felt Other-Anakin's gaze on Anakin. He paused before speaking tentatively, "What will happen if I don't?"

Other-Anakin waved shrugged and then waved his hand before the scene returned to reality. The two of them were still standing in front of the cave. "Only the force knows and only you will be able to decide where you go from here." Anakin turned his head once more to look out at the dry, cracked, earth that seemed to stretch forever until it reached the sun as it slowly made its way into the sky.

"There will be a time," Other-Anakin said, "When you realize that you are not just a part of the present, but the past and alternate futures as well," Other-Anakin smiled as he shimmered in the light, "But the force, as life, is what you make it. So, make it well, Anakin." Other-Anakin shimmered once more and then all Anakin could see was the wall behind where Other-Anakin had stood.

Anakin sighed. The last thing he wanted was to cause Tahiri any more grief, but he knew that he'd have to make the decision sooner or later. _The galaxy doesn't have the time to wait…. _The air rushing through Anakin's ears seemed to speak the words he was feeling from the force.

"Long time no see, Anakin," Anakin turned and smiled as he regarded the familiar Sytar.

"I was wondering when you were going to show up," Anakin said with a glint of amusement in his eyes that made the Sytar laugh in his hearty and deep way.

"It is quite hard not to when someone is talking about you," Synthor said with a wistful smile.

"I thought you'd be used to it by now, " Anakin said, raising his eyebrow. Synthor laughed again.

"You'd be surprised," He smiled and then looked out at the landscape, "You've been told, then, what the pathways are?"

Anakin nodded, his gaze growing distant as he stared out at the orange streaked sky. "Yeah, even though I don't know why I have to be the one to go through them or why someone has to go through them at all."

Synthor nodded, his webbed hands now clasped as much as they could be behind his back, "All good questions. I do not have the time or the ability to tell you everything now as you must find out the rest on your own. But I will say that the pathways are the only way for a force user to become truly one with the force in life without dying."

Anakin turned his blue eyes to face the Sytar, "There's a way to do that?"

Synthor nodded, his own brow furrowing, "Yes, but it only begins once one has gone through the void and survived."

"But Zekk did that too, why can't he do it?" Anakin questioned. Synthor looked down at the young man, regarding his desperation and fear with care.

"Zekk was stuck in there and would have still been if it hadn't been for the pact you made with me, and therefore with the first pathway."

Anakin paused, "You're the first pathway?"

"I only appeared because you had the ability to open your own first pathway. The reason why I'm still here is because you passed through the first and haven't passed through the second."

Anakin's face fell slightly, "So you'll leave once I pass through the second pathway?"

Synthor smiled, "Yes, but like everything that is the force, I will always be here, living with everything that exists."

Anakin nodded his somber understanding and then turned his head as someone gripped his shoulder. He turned to see that Synthor was gone before sighing. "I knew you'd follow me. When are you going to stop acting like Han?"

Anakin had to grin at the voice as he turned to face his uncle, "When I stop being a Solo."

"Fat chance of that," Another voice joined in and both men turned. "I thought you'd be long gone by now, Luke." Mara said, raising her eyebrow questioningly.

"Right," Luke said sheepishly as he hurried away towards where their ship was parked. Mara shook her head in exasperation and then looked up as a smile crossed her face.

"I think that's my ride," Mara said with a grin. The small shuttle lowered itself onto the ledge and Mara made her way over as the door opened to reveal Natie Renders in all her bounty hunter gear.

"I've got an idiot to find, out of my way," Natie said and darted down the passageway as Mara shook her head with a knowing smile.

"Don't we all," She cast a knowing glance at Anakin, who smiled despite himself. The two then waited for a short while before the thumping of footsteps sounded the arrival of the two other people.

"What do you mean?" Natie was saying to Kirk as they emerged from the darkness.

"He was killed in a duel," Kirk replied with a deep scowl. "There was definitely something wrong with the way he died, though. It was like he'd been fighting someone who knew him. No one could have killed my Master otherwise," Kirk's eyes turned to Anakin and then Mara before returning to Natie.

"There's something going on and I'm not sure where to begin looking," He said. Mara nodded.

"Luke thought that too," She said, cupping her chin in between her thumb and forefinger, "If only we knew who it was that Luke and your master fought."

Kirk turned abruptly, "Luke fought someone?"

Mara blinked in surprise, "He didn't say who it was, but Luke said the person felt familiar." Kirk then started down the cliff-side as Natie followed behind him, grabbing his arm.

"Where are you going?" She demanded. Kirk frowned.

"I already lost one master, I'm not about to lose another," Kirk then pulled himself free and strode off to _Blue Rain_ and within seconds his ship was lost among the stars. Natie watched him until the ship was out of eye range and then turned to Mara and Anakin.

"We need to get back to the New Republic, something's telling me we're looking in all the wrong places," Natie stated. Mara nodded as she mulled over Luke's words and then those of Roan. Both had said fairly vague things but in the end the words had meant more than all the circles that the Jedi had been running in to find out more about Xillanor and his band of dark Jedi.

Mara jumped as her comlink buzzed and then picked it up, "Jade here," She stated and then frowned. "What?" Mara repeated and then held up a hand as if to stall further comments, "Slow down, what happened?"

Anakin felt his blood go cold. There was a clear disturbance creeping its way across the galaxy into the very life-stream of the New Republic. He wasn't sure where he had to look or where he needed to go except to follow the paths of Nordia and to betray the Jedi Order. He sucked in his breath. He then turned to look up as Mara finished her comlink call. Her expression showed the tension Anakin had already sensed from her.

"What is it?" Anakin questioned. Mara grimaced as she faced her nephew.

"Another Jedi was just killed."

**A/N- Cliff Hanger! =P Chock up the reviews and I just might update when I should be going to bed tomorrow night. **


	55. Goodnight, Goodnight

**Chapter 54**

**Goodnight, Goodnight**

_A/- Hey All, sorry for the long wait. I guess the good news would be that I'm almost done with my art classes (they end July 9__th__). So I'll get more time to write after they're over (I've also got a job pending- depending on whether or not I get it, my schedule will change-or I'll get dragged off on a trip by my mom). Anyways, I'll keep you guys posted on when postings will be delayed and what not. _

_May the 4__th__ be with you! (Belated, but still)._

_-Don ^_^_

_

* * *

_

Tahiri grunted as she stepped forward, slashing her lightsaber across the air. It created a soft whoosh of air as it went in its downward arc and then the color blurred as she curved it around turning cleanly on her heel before coming to a stop to catch her breath.

"This would be so much easier without this extra weight," Tahiri muttered and then immediately cut herself off. She regretted the statement the moment it had left her lips. She wasn't entirely sure what to make of the fact that she was pregnant and now that Anakin was gone, she had more time to think about what it meant.

Of course she'd had time to consider the basic meaning of being a mother. She watched Tenel Ka raising Valin and Rose, and then she'd also seen the way that Leia had raised Anakin for the time that Tahiri had known him. Then there was Tionne, Tahiri's foster mother, whom Tahiri loved more than life itself. Tionne had given Tahiri reason to believe that becoming a mother, whether for a biological child or for an adoptive one, was well worth the while. Tionne had treated Tahiri as family, as a friend, and most of all as a fellow student of the force. Tahiri owed everything to Tionne since she was the one of the people who had found Tahiri on Tatooine. Tahiri had had a strong attachment to the Jedi Historian and still loved hearing Tionne's soft voice as it spun yet another tale of ancient Jedi and far-away lands. Tahiri knew that if Tionne hadn't found Tahiri on Tatooine, Tahiri would never had found out that she had Jedi potential and never attended the Jedi Academy and therefore would never had met Anakin Solo.

This only served to fuel Tahiri's belief that the force caused things to happen for a reason, so she firmly believed in turn that having Kam was also something that was meant to happen. Tahiri took a deep breath and lifted her blade again before pausing in mid-stroke as two arms wrapped themselves around her waist.

"So the big hero returns," Tahiri said, her less than enthusiastic greeting earned her a kiss on the neck. Anakin knew how to make Tahiri feel some comfort, even if he was the reason for her discomfort or stress in the first place.

"Of course, if I didn't, I'd be worse than dead," Anakin's warm breath caused Tahiri's lips to twitch, though they didn't quite form a smile.

"Better believe it," She replied and did her best to hide the exhaustion that lingered on the end of her sentence, causing her to sigh through the word "it." Anakin's smile faltered slightly at the sound but he still attempted to keep the mood light.

"I do," Anakin said quietly and laughed. He winced then, hoping silently that Tahiri hadn't felt the pain he had but soon found himself staring right into her eyes as she turned abruptly.

"Hey," She said, running a hand through his already sweat stained hair, "I can feel that, you know."

Anakin sighed, "I know, I wish you didn't."

Tahiri frowned at his words, "Why?" She reached out in the force, trying to get an idea of where Anakin's thoughts were but his emotions clouded them. He was completely and utterly confused, not to mention disjointed. Anakin averted his gaze.

"This is why," He replied. Tahiri's eyes narrowed and then widened as she understood.

"Anakin," Tahiri said softly, "Look at me," She raised his head gently with her hands on either side of his cheeks, "I'm not hurt by anything you feel."

Anakin scowled, "Yes, you are," He lowered her hands, "Tahiri, every time I leave, I get the feeling you end up shouldering feelings you've been hiding, feelings that have everything or nothing to do with what I'm doing."

Tahiri shrugged, "Everyone has things they deal with on their own."

Anakin shook his head, "Not like this." He scrutinized her for a moment before turning his head away. "I owe you the truth, Tahiri," Anakin said in a flat tone, "I'm not staying in the Jedi Order."

Tahiri stood in stunned silence before she spoke again, "What do you mean?"

"I mean if they don't kick me out, I'm leaving on my own," Anakin replied plainly. Tahiri's eyes narrowed into slits.

"Anakin, don't talk nonsense, if you leave, there won't be anyone to become Grand Jedi Master," She turned to look out the window at the city. It was still in motion with the hubbub of daily life as though nothing was amiss, though the Jedi felt every single crack and break of the foundation of the New Republic. Anakin had been feeling it for years and had foreseen that there would be trouble. Though he doubted most of the problems would come to pass, he knew that the days of the New Republic and its Jedi Order were numbered. They would last only as long as the Jedi inside it. Even as he stood with Tahiri, the number of Jedi dwindled from constant attacks, loss of morale and a lack of direction from the force.

"The Jedi Order is falling apart, Tahiri," Anakin stated, the words pained him as he felt the force itself backing him.

"And you're one of the pillars holding what's left up," She retorted coldly. Anakin nodded in understanding. The prospect of leaving the Order wasn't very appealing now that Xillanor had killed any Jedi who strayed too far from the protection of the New Republic or involved themselves in external matters.

"Tahiri," Anakin said, his face contorting, "The Order isn't safe anymore."

Tahiri surged forward, pounding her fists on his chest and Anakin simply stood there, letting the situation wash over him. He was suggesting that they uproot from the very place that had given them their current life and its meaning.

"Anakin, we can't just leave," Tahiri said, "The Jedi are the only ones standing between Xillanor and the New Republic."

"Exactly," Tahiri stared into Anakin's brilliant blue eyes, seeing the honesty that was always there and she knew he was speaking from a deeper source than just his own opinion. Still, she stared at him in silence and confusion. He often spoke in ways that not even Tahiri, who could see into the deepest parts of his heart and mind, not even she could understand.

"Exactly what?" Tahiri ventured. "I don't get it, Anakin, what makes you think that it's safer out there on our own than here in the Jedi Order?"

"Because the Jedi Order is corrupt," Tahiri turned slowly and Anakin averted his gaze as the young figure stepped forward, flinging back his hood, "I bring some bad news to you, Tahiri Veila."

* * *

"A council meeting? Is there an emergency, Chief of State Deris?" The nervous human secretary quivered in the presence of the rare alien. Though the secretary had served the widest range of alien species who served as Chief of State, the young man had never known one quite so dauntingly calm as Korsk Deris. As far as the secretary was concerned, Deris' species had long since died out. But here was Deris, cool as a cucumber and impressively commanding as Emperor Palpatine.

"You need not question the details," Deris stated, "Do I make myself clear?"

"Y-Yes, Chief of State Deris," The secretary said, bowing low to the official as the alien made his exit from the office of the Chief of State, leaving an impending silence behind him for the secretary to mull over the enigmatic Chief of State. There were too many things about the alien official that bothered the secretary. But he was too frightened to say anything to anyone. He wasn't the bravest of men, hence why he had chosen a well paying job where he wasn't in a position where he'd have to rise to the occasion of being a leader. It was both convenient and demeaning all at once.

The office door opened once more and the secretary jumped to his feet, immediately bowing in anticipation of the Chief of State's return.

"Good Gundarks, Henry, is that how you're required to greet everyone who walks in here? One would think you're an imperial slave," The nerve wrecked secretary lifted his head to look at the figure who just entered the Chief of State's office as though it was a casual public building.

"Thank the stars," Henry said as he sunk back into his chair and looked over at the newcomer. "You could give me some forewarning, Uncle Corran."

The older man's lip twitched, "You've let yourself go." Henry shrugged, running a hand through his hair. Except for Henry's dark undertones in his hair, he was the spitting image of his uncle.

"I always knew you were the shy type," Corran said, "But now's not the time to hesitant."

Henry sighed and rubbed his chin, the beard there kept growing back messily no matter how Henry tried to shave it off. "Uncle Corran, you know I can't just leave. I gave up becoming a Jedi after…" The man left off.

"You think it's any easier on me?" Corran asked coldly. "I lost a child too, you know."

Henry's sharp brown eyes snapped around to look directly at Corran. "A child? You really have no idea how I've felt. I lost my entire family to a group of radical Peace Brigade soldiers, they shot my family in cold blood and you think you know how I feel?"

Corran continued to look calm though the lines in his face indicated the pain he'd been holding back for the years following Valin's death. "I know your loss must have been the worst and I wouldn't dare compare the lives of our loved ones. No life is comparable. Not like that," Corran's eyes went to the wall as he stared off into space. Henry's gaze softened.

"I didn't mean to lash out at you, Uncle," Henry said softly. Corran waved his hand.

"You were right in doing so. This blasted galaxy doesn't get any better by being agreeable," Henry had to grin at that. He knew as well as anyone the lengths that Corran had gone to in order to rescue Mirax.

"So, what's the plan then?" Henry asked with a glint in his eye. Corran smiled, his own face was more disheveled than Henry's and Corran's beard covered some of his neck. For a few minutes they both sat in relative silence.

"First I have something I need to tell you, Henry," Corran said in a somber voice. Henry either caught the tone or felt some of it through the force, because his face fell.

"Who was it?" Henry asked in a low tone. Corran frowned as he sat down on one of the couches, clasping his hands between his legs. For a few minutes the older man said nothing and in response Henry repeated his question in a sharper tone, "Who was it?"

"Late last night," Corran began, "I felt a disturbance in the force and I rushed to see what the problem was."Henry stiffened and began shaking his head before Corran could even finish. "I followed the source to New Republic Senate offices," Corran said, scowling deeply, "To this office."

Henry blinked and then shook his head, "No, no, it couldn't be."

"You've been hiding things, Henry," Corran stated in a cold voice. Henry shifted uncomfortably in his seat and then stood up to rid himself of the shaking in his feet

"It's not what you think, Uncle Corran," Henry protested, "I'm not a murderer!"

Corran folded his arms across his chest, "I know you're not. I didn't come here to accuse you."

Henry jawed for a moment before he spoke again, "Then what happened?"

"The news was that late last night I came here to find that a Jedi had been killed here in this office only moments before I arrived," Corran's eyes lifted to focus unblinkingly on Henry's. "The Jedi couldn't have been killed by anyone from the outside and was killed without a scratch on the body."

"Who was it, Uncle?" Henry demanded, finding the firmness in his voice now that the anger was rising. "Who was killed?"

Corran winced and turned his head away, "He was trying to help you, Henry, why didn't you say anything?" Corran's voice became so low and pained that Henry had to strain to hear his uncle speak.

"No, not-?" Henry questioned. Corran nodded wordlessly and Henry shook his head many times, "He couldn't have been killed. He knew things even we didn't!"

"I'm sorry, Henry, I thought you knew, I was hoping you were going to get there before I did last night, but…" Corran turned his head away and then brought his glare onto his nephew, "Did Deris mention any of this to you?"

"No," Henry said, his voice laden with the heavy grief he knew would strike him harder later on, "He didn't speak a word about it to me or to anyone."

"So he didn't even know about it?" Corran questioned angrily and then he nodded. "That's what I feared."

"What?" Henry questioned, narrowing his eyes, "You think Deris is a traitor?"

"Who else could it be?" Corran demanded, "Only someone high up could get in here in the middle of the night and kill a Jedi as strong as Kyp Durron." Henry's insides boiled and then twisted as the words came out.

Kyp was dead. He'd been killed by another force user. "So what do we do now?" Henry said finally. Corran stood up, looking carefully out the window.

"We find out if Deris is guilty," Corran stated, "And then we go after him."

Henry scowled, "You can't just accuse a high ranked official of murder, you're a Jedi, not a judge."

Corran's eyes grew dark as he drew himself up, squaring his shoulders, "You forget, I used to be a covert ops Jedi, we made the laws and we punished those who defied them." Henry was not unused to seeing his uncle in a state of complete confidence when it came to doing something risky, but there was something detached about Corran's tone that both impressed Henry and scared him all at once. But he decided, at least at the moment, he didn't care enough to worry about that.

"Let's go," Henry said and pulled open his drawer, revealing a lightsaber built from the finest metal. He clipped it to his belt and then followed his uncle to the door. "I'm surprised someone didn't try to arrest you when you walked in," Henry said as they left the room, closing the door with a click. Corran's laughter could be heard all the way to the elevators.

* * *

Tahiri frowned, "Anakin, who is this?"

The man bowed, "My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself," The young man smiled. "My name is Rendon."

**A/N- Short chapter, I know. There's another one in the works, so stay tuned. =) **


	56. Master and Learner

**Chapter 55**

**Master and Learner**

_A/N- I was seriously considering naming this chapter "Pancakes" but then I decided that some of my serious readers might not appreciate that. Ha, ha. Oh, well. I guess I'll always look at this chapter and think about pancakes anyways. _

_So, I apologize to all readers for being so slow and inconsistent with my updates for the last few weeks. My art classes end Friday so I'll be plugging out some chapters then (and some one-shots for my personal challenge that I'll be starting). _

_I think that covers all the notes for this chapter. _

_I'd like to offer my sincere thanks to all my readers for their loyalty and dedication to keeping up with this story. I truly appreciate your support. You guys know who you are and you should be giving yourselves cookies for being awesome. =) _

_As always a pleasure,_

_-Don "QuixoticQuest" ^_^_

_

* * *

_

Leia looked up as the door to her office opened. "Senator Solo, a moment?" She nodded slowly as the sharply dressed New Republic officer entered the room. He clacked his heels to attention and respectfully waited for an answer. The young officer was wearing a crisply ironed uniform and highly polished boots. His brilliant red eyes were a vibrant contrast to his blue skin. The officer was a pure blood Chiss but had joined the NR officially at the recommendation of Baron Fel. Leia had to wonder what the Baron was up to, but left the matter aside for the moment as she addressed the Chiss.

"Is there something wrong, Captain Fay'les?" Leia questioned in a neutral voice that she reserved for tense situations. The Chiss officer straightened what little of his back that he could before answering in a flat and direct tone.

"I have been instructed to inform you of an incident that occurred this morning," The officer then rattled off general details about the timing before composing himself, "It is my duty to regretfully inform Senator Leia Organa Solo that Jedi Master Kyp Durron is dead," Fay'les inclined his head before continuing, "As this is the case, I have assigned a full squad of highly trained soldiers to protect you."

Leia let the news sink into her as she held up a hand to stay any further comments, "That will not be necessary. I will summon my own guard," She had to wonder why it had come to such measures once again, but she had no choice. She needed the help of the mysterious aliens known as the Noghri once more.

"I have stationed the soldiers on this floor for added protection, though you have no need of them personally, there are others who would feel more secure with the soldiers present," Fay'les stated and then clacked his heels together before saluting. Leia nodded to dismiss the officer before turning her thoughts inward. Maes Fay'les was certainly an intriguing being in all ways possible. Leia had heard from many sources that the Chiss had approached Baron Fel personally about joining the New Republic military and soon after the young Chiss had been permanently assigned to the New Republic as a liaison for the Chiss through the military. So far Fay'les had been nothing but loyal to the New Republic. He had served gallantly in several campaigns during the Yuuzhan Vong war, earning his rank and respectable reputation quickly.

Leia also knew from Wedge Antilles that Fay'les' family had been killed a few years before the Yuuzhan Vong invasion. She could only guess what the circumstances were, but Wedge's knowledge of the situation shed light on the fact that Baron Fel had almost completely adopted Fay'less as part of the Fel family. But Maes Fay'les refused to take the name Fel and the Baron seemed to respect the wishes of the young Chiss. Baron Fel was a kind hearted man, though his reputation spoke otherwise. Leia knew better than to judge people by their reputation. After all, she'd married the man who was reputed to be one of the best smugglers in the galaxy.

Leia sighed. It probably wasn't long before everyone in the galaxy had felt the pain of loss to some degree. It was both frightening and illuminating of the times they lived in. She looked out her window before picking up the phone. She knew she had a few favors to call in and wasn't going to waste time with too many formalities to get them.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight," Tahiri said, holding up a hand for silence from either Anakin or Rendon. "You led Mara through the tunnel so she would find the prophecy and therefore find out more about these Sith lead by Xillanor and then you've come here as a messenger from the current leader of the Fallen?" Tahiri then added under her breath, "Whoever they are."

Rendon nodded, "That is correct."

"I don't believe you," Tahiri stated flatly, folding her arms across her chest. Anakin laid a hand on her should. "Why should we when you captured Uncle Luke and Mara and were even leading a group of soldiers that we all know are in league with Xillanor." She wasn't asking and Anakin knew that she posed a question he himself had been wondering since Rendon had approached Anakin outside of the cave.

"What exactly do you want us to do?" Anakin asked, keeping his hand on Tahiri's shoulder, both for her comfort as well as line to keep himself from attacking Rendon. As much as Anakin wanted to believe that Rendon had good intentions, Anakin still didn't trust the other man. There were too many gaps between the events and too little details on the ones that Anakin did know about and he wasn't about to go second guessing his intuition about Rendon just because Anakin felt slightly guilty about his distrust.

"I couldn't say I don't want you to do anything as that would be dishonest," Rendon said, cupping his chin in his hand, "But I do believe you should know that I'm here because the leader of the Fallen is dead."

Anakin exchanged a perplexed look with Tahiri and then spoke both of their thoughts, "All we know about the Fallen is that Jesse Veila is one of them."

Rendon's brow lifted and then he nodded, "Ah, yes, Jesse," He looked thoughtful as he gazed out the window for a moment before returning his eyes to focus on Anakin and Tahiri. "He is a strong force user and an honorable man. Our leader had great expectations for him."

Anakin frowned through his confusion this time, "_Our_ leader?"

Rendon turned his gaze to Anakin, "Yes, did I not tell you. I am a member of the Fallen. I brought your Aunt and Uncle to the cave to show them the truth about Xillanor and about the Fallen, though we are anything but the same. The Fallen are those who reject using only the light side of the force or only the dark side of the force. We are neither Jedi nor Sith. We are enemies, therefore of Xillanor and the New Jedi Order," Rendon's eyes never left Anakin as the words flowed. There was a strong element of truth that Anakin couldn't help but feel through the force.

"You're a double agent then," Anakin observed. Rendon nodded.

"And a convincing one at that," Rendon smiled an almost pained smile, "I must say I convince myself of being the very image of the kind of force user I hate. I sometimes wonder if I am just like Xillanor and at times I truly believe I am no different than he."

Tahiri scrutinized Rendon, and feeling no lies from him or his presence, looked to Anakin, who continued to look at Rendon with an expression of misgiving.

"I will do nothing to either of you," Rendon said and then his lips curled into a warm smile, the warmest one either Anakin or Tahiri had seen on the young man's face since they'd met. There was something wistful about it, a touch that wasn't there before and was gone the moment they tried to find it once more. "I only wish to know what your thoughts are on the force," Rendon looked over at Anakin, eyes lingering enough to make Anakin shift, though not uncomfortably, "Particularly yours, Anakin."

Anakin opened his mouth and then shut it as he looked over at Tahiri, who honestly looked frightened and apprehensive as she already knew what his true thoughts on the matter. But he couldn't lie about them any more than he could lie about who he was. He was as much a part of the force as it was of him. Then there was the fact that the force itself, as Synthor, had told Anakin to follow his instincts in the force, even if that meant leaving the Jedi in the New Republic in order to fulfill the will of the force and his own intuition. It wasn't like Anakin wanted to become a Sith or abandon the way of the Jedi.

"There's nothing binding about becoming part of the Fallen," Rendon added as though he sensed Anakin's thoughts. Anakin opened his mouth and then his words caught in his mouth as he felt Tahiri squeeze his hand in reassurance.

_As long as you don't lose yourself, I'll stick this out, _She sent through their mind bond. Rendon looked from one to the other and then looked over at Anakin as he spoke.

"We won't leave the Order," He stated, causing Tahiri to look over at him curiously. Rendon shrugged.

"Well, the offer remains on the table if you should feel like joining us," Rendon then inclined his head before turning towards the door. He paused for a moment, slightly turning his head as his robe slid back slightly to reveal his lightsaber. "And congratulations on your child." Then Rendon was gone.

* * *

Kirk gritted his teeth as he drove through the endless stars that turned to lines against his ship. _Blue Rain _cruised well enough but in hyperspace it was in its element. The ship's sleek design took to the cold air of space like a bird to the sky. The wings almost seemed to float through the dark in a silent and still form of flapping.

There were still so many things that Kirk didn't understand about Luke Skywalker after all this time, let alone how the man had survived so long with all the weight of the galaxy on his shoulders. Kirk hadn't really cared that much to think about how strained Luke must have been during the years while Kirk was still a young, wet behind the ears student of the force. The training and adjustment had taken up most of Kirk's attention and in the end, he didn't even notice that Luke had also suffered greatly when Nina had died.

Kirk understood the pain of losing a student well enough and more so a child. He hadn't known his child more than the simple interaction through the stomach and the soft heartbeat he felt through the force, but that was enough to give him a good idea of what kind of person his child would grow into in general. He had a child and student, both had been lost over time. First the child died in childbirth and then later on after Kirk had left the Academy and disappeared for a decade, he had taught many students, one of whom died while on a training mission.

Kirk hadn't really realized until then that Luke might have felt equally crushed by Nina's death as well as Kirk's disappearance. The feeling was something that Kirk didn't relish having to repeat. He wanted to keep Natie close and his enemies at arm's length. It was the reverse of his mentality during his decade long absence from the galaxy around him. Kirk had gone by the "Keep your friends close but keep your enemies closer," mantra. If Kirk had learned anything from his travels, it was that he couldn't keep his enemies far enough away to forget about them.

Xillanor was his enemy, and if Kirk couldn't keep him at arm's length, he'd kill him up front. Kirk looked up as the familiar Wolf shaped ship loomed in the near distance, slightly hidden by a shroud of misty air and meteors.

**A/N- As promised, an update. Sorry again for the delay. =) **


	57. Pancakes!

**Chapter 56**

**Pancakes! (Serious Title: Forbidden Trials)**

_A/N- Psyccchhhhhh! Ha! I named the chapter "Pancakes"- take that, Maturity! _

_Anyhoozles, I hope ya'll enjoyed the last chappie. I keep leaving off on cliff notes, but I'm not in the least bit sorry. XD. _

_Oh, sorry for the delay in updating, I had my wi-fi down for a while, so some of this info is a tad outdated, but still relevant. I have already mentioned this to a few of you, but I'm going to be starting my "20 By 20 Challenge" soon. The rules and guidelines (should anyone care to join me in the challenge or to just keep up with my progress) will be listed under my first one-shot posted for the challenge. Each one-shot posted under the challenge will say "Posted For the 20 By 20 Challenge" in the description. Cheers! _

_Ooooooo yaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh, I'm done with my art classes as of… right now actually. So I'm sitting here working on the chapters for you guys (working through sweat and tears and I'm not getting paid, so be grateful or else). Just kidding. =) But reviews would be nice. Feedback goes a long way and it helps me to give you guys the best chapters I can. _

_All hail the review button! (I'm sad because it's no longer green… but oh well). _

_I'm currently addicted to listening to the soundtrack from "That Thing You Do" (an awesome movie by the way- especially if you like music and/or the Beatles). _

_I'm also addicted to watching the new "Eureka Seven" movie (it's a Japanese anime if you're not familiar with the series by name). It's called "Eureka Seven: Good Night, Sleep Tight, Young Lovers." It's amazing and I've seen it three times already. The concepts are undoubtedly some of the most ingenious ones I've seen in a while. Now that's saying something. I highly recommend watching "Eureka Seven" (which is a sort of interpretative series that follows Neon Genesis Evangelion). That and I suggest reading the manga of Eureka Seven since the movie borrows from it a little (the anime is the original though). _

_Well, it's time to stop babbling and write the darn chapter. I've included some long overdue fluff (I know I've been laying on the angst and suspense on thick, so here's a little changeup)._

_Adios My Fine Friends (no, I don't speak Spanish, but I wish I did),_

_-Don ^_^_

_PS- That face always makes me think of Totoro from Tonari no Totoro. _

_Wow. That was probably the longest A/N I've had so far. _

_

* * *

_

Anakin sighed and rubbed the skin of his forehead between his thumb and forefinger for the umpteenth time that night. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to leave the Order at all, but it wasn't as though he had a choice once the Order made its decision. Or more importantly if the New Republic decided to force the Order to expel Anakin. He knew that his uncle was losing his power of influence over the members of the council as well as his reliability as the Grand Jedi Master.

Many Jedi were now claiming that Luke Skywalker had lost his touch, many of them were new Jedi who hadn't known Luke during his prime as a Jedi or during the rebellion. Luke hadn't been able to do too much during the Yuuzhan Vong war for one reason or another, which all the Jedi seemed to understand. But now that they were fighting an invisible and elusive enemy, the Jedi all were starting to lose faith in Luke altogether.

The most frightening part of it all was that Anakin himself was beginning to doubt his uncle too. Slowly the ways that Luke had taught his nephew to use the force were becoming nothing but an idealistic dream and in the back of Anakin's mind was the image of Darth Vader, a virtually inhumane man behind a mask of hate and fear.

To the new Jedi, Luke was a relic of the past, someone who'd lost his touch. Anakin had felt their fear and the apprehension lingering in the backs of their minds. He had even heard them talking about Luke as a "Has been" and further went to talk of replacing Luke Skywalker with someone younger and fresher. The galaxy needed an active leader, not just a man who represented an age of glory and heroics. Those years were long over and Anakin knew that someday someone really would take Luke's place, whether by force or because Luke passed down the baton willingly. Though Anakin had yet to hear his uncle name a successor and it almost seemed that Luke Skywalker didn't want to step down and admit that his days as a hero were finally over.

Mara, even when she was pregnant, had taken up the job of teaching new padawans and helped to fight alongside other planets during the Yuuzhan Vong war. Luke had stayed on the sidelines for the most part, helplessly watching as the forceless aliens tore the galaxy apart limb from limb, starting by corrupting the galaxy from the inside out. Now the same thing was happening once more and Luke had done little to prove that he knew how to stop the evil.

_Except for running off after Xillanor alone, _Anakin thought concernedly to himself. He knew that his uncle wanted to live up to his reputation as the Grand Jedi Master but at this point even Anakin knew that Luke was not strong enough to bring down Xillanor. There were few ways to confront a man who knew fear and embrace it to the point where he became fear itself. Luke was, Anakin hated to admit, too old to be running off after crazed killers on his own. There was a chance that Luke already expected the worst outcome of a direct confrontation, but even then Anakin knew it wouldn't end there. Xillanor liked playing with people and especially with their lives. He'd tease with little attacks and then suddenly kill someone when he felt the impulse to do so. Xillanor appeared to be an indiscriminate killer, but the truth, as Anakin now saw it, was that Xillanor was a calculated expert assassin who liked to play with his targets in for fun. He was careful about all of his moves to the point where he didn't have to cover his tracks. No, Xillanor wasn't the type to trifle with. Anakin knew that with his skills as they were, he couldn't even survive a sparring match against Xillanor. The bounty hunter was a mastermind who only revealed what he wanted others to know about him, exactly when he wanted them to. Whoever Xillanor was working for clearly knew how to choose a good worker. But like all bounty hunters, Anakin was sure that Xillanor could be bought by the next highest bidder.

_Then whoever Xillanor is working for, _Anakin concluded, _Must be someone with a lot of power… and money. Someone that Xillanor would actually bow down to. _The thought sent shivers down Anakin's spine. With the New Republic in turmoil over the constant deaths of Jedi and the New Jedi Order in debate over a new leader or of becoming a herd of wild force wielders, there wouldn't be anything stopping someone like Xillanor from waltzing into the council room and killing someone in front of the entire galaxy's eyes.

Xillanor could do it.

Anakin's fist came down on the table and he raked his hand through his now thick hair. He hadn't shaved in a week and he sported a surprisingly smooth stubble in addition to his random array of hairs surrounding his lips and cheeks. His blue eyes no longer shone with the light of youth, but were filled with a sharp and penetrating gaze that constantly wandered into the distant worlds of the force and the worries of the galaxy.

It was amazing how quickly one lost the will to see things in a joyous light. It was something that Anakin lost at an early age because of his namesake. He was always dogged by the image of a mask that sucked heavy breaths through metallic nostrils. Every breath pulled Anakin deeper into the shadows of his mind and fears. He lowered his head into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut.

_It is time. _

The blue orbs snapped open to see the room empty except for Anakin and a clearly concerned Tahiri hovering near the doorway of their bedroom, her left hand gripping her opposite arm.

"Anakin, you should sleep, things won't change just because you think about them until you collapse," She crossed over to where he sat on the couch and sat down next to him, brushing one of his loose bangs from his face. "You need to start loving yourself as much as you love the rest of the galaxy."

Anakin turned his head abruptly in surprise at her statement. He looked at her, taking in her warm emerald green eyes, her delicate features and most of all, the way she managed to hold herself together despite all that had happened to her and to both of them.

"How can I? Jacen's gone, Kam's dead, and Kyp was just murdered while in the Jedi Council offices," He sucked in his breath, "Things like this shouldn't happen."

"But they did," Tahiri said calmly. "And you can't undo them by punishing yourself."

_There is no path for those who wait._

Anakin lifted his head as though contemplating what the voice of the air was whispering. It was the force, he knew, but it still made him curious as to what it wanted of him now, or rather, why it wanted what it did. Anakin looked directly at Tahiri now. He wondered why she'd stayed with him when in all likelihood he wouldn't have the easiest path of all the Jedi. She could have chosen someone else to share her time with at the Academy on Yavin 4, but she chose him. Why? He'd never really know and he knew from his past experiences of asking that she'd never tell him. He'd resigned to accepting that it was a fortunate accident that he ended up walking into the temple that afternoon and that he decided not to walk out on the strange blonde haired girl who babbled away about everything and nothing all at once.

_There is no peace for those who serve the force, for it is they who provide the balance. _

Anakin smiled to himself. He wouldn't ever understand why the force lead him the way it did, but it was about time Anakin listened to the voices of his own heart, and in as a result, the voice of the force.

"Come here," Tahiri said gently and received an eyebrow raised in response.

"I'm right here," Anakin said with a bemused look. Tahiri sighed and then reached behind his neck to pull his lips onto hers.

"Oh," Anakin said with a chuckle, "You should have said that's what you wanted."

"You should have been paying attention to our bond instead of to the wall," Tahiri replied irritably. It was clear that he'd offended her by not paying attention. He knew there was only one way to make her forgive him. "I'm beginning to think that you're more interested in looking at it than-"

"Tahiri," Anakin said, but she kept going.

"I am and that's not all, you're always running off no matter what I do or say," Tahiri added. Anakin sighed.

"That's not fair, the last time I went you told me to go."

"That doesn't mean I wanted to you to listen to me!" Tahiri said incredulously as though it was obvious that's what she meant. Anakin remembered that she'd pretty much forced him to go with everything she had, which was a lot.

"You're not making any sense. First you say one thing and then you completely change your mind!" Anakin said exasperatedly, resting his head in his hand, when it finally slid from his face, he saw Tahiri's green eyes gazing intently, yet softly at him. He reached out and brushed the backs of his fingers along her cheek before letting his hand drop, only to be lifted once again by Tahiri's hands. She kissed his hand and then smiled at him. "Aw, to the Void with sense," Anakin said with a grin before leaning in to kiss Tahiri, this time not caring that he'd forgotten about the galaxy for while.

* * *

Tenel Ka couldn't remember ever being this worried since before Jacen's death, not that she'd ever had admitted to being worried to anyone except for Jacen. Every waking moment she'd spent worrying about where Jacen was and whether or not she needed to lock him in a room where he'd never be harmed. Of course, since Jacen was a Solo, he'd never submit to such a treatment, but the thought had crossed Tenel Ka's mind many times.

Now, however, Tenel Ka only had two worries in the entire galaxy, and only one of those worries was sitting quietly in her cradle, cooing every time Yuuna made a funny noise at the baby.

Valin, on the other hand, was exactly like his father: reckless, unable to sit still, and full of oblivious laughter and energy. Rose was more composed, her eyes and hair resembling her mother's more and more as the days passed. There was a hint of Jacen's brown hair in Rose's, but Tenel Ka could already tell that Valin was the one who would always be off doing things that turned Tenel Ka's hair prematurely gray. Only now did she realize why Leia looked so worn out after all these years, she had put up with not only one wild Jedi child, but three wild and wayward Jedi children who took after their father, Han Solo.

In the end, all three ended up settling down more or less, as much as a Jedi could anyways. But right now Tenel Ka could only think and worry about what crazy antics Valin J.D. Solo was getting up to now. He was nowhere to be found in the entire palace.

Tenel Ka looked up as a guard stood to attention near the doorway. Before she could speak, the guard shook her head. "Nothing yet, Your Majesty." Tenel Ka heaved a sigh as the guard bowed and exited, revealing the ever present Master K'tar.

"If I may, Highness," The bothan said in his usual wistful voice, "Just wait and I am sure, Young Master Valin will reveal himself when he is ready." As unwilling to listen and stop searching and remain calm, Tenel Ka knew that Master K'tar spoke reason and truth.

"Yes, I shall wait," Tenel Ka resigned and sat down in the nearest chair, her hand rubbing her temples. K'tar chuckled.

"Valin seems to have taken the ways of Jacen Solo to heart," K'tar said, sitting down in the chair next to Tenel Ka's. "Not a bad start, though a tad ambitious." K'tar's eye gleamed with a knowing look. Tenel Ka smiled at that. It was that very ambition that had made Tenel Ka fall in love with Jacen Solo from the start.

"How do you know of Jacen, Master K'tar?" Tenel Ka asked. The bothan rubbed his chin and then smiled warmly.

"I met him once," K'tar cast gaze over Rose, who was toddling through the door to the garden and was playing with the light spray from the fountain. K'tar then returned his gaze to Tenel Ka, clasping his hands in his lap. "We did not differ greatly in age, so one of the training groups with Jacen partnered with mine once. I dare say he made quite an impression on me," K'tar laughed once more. Tenel Ka knew well enough that Jacen was extremely good at charming everyone he met into liking him at least somewhat. If it weren't for their cold nature, he would have charmed the Yuuzhan Vong into giving up earlier than they did. She imagined that even up until his death, Jacen had remained positive and strong willed.

"He was a strong hearted man, though I knew something was on his mind when I met him," K'tar said thoughtfully. Tenel Ka furrowed her brow.

"What was on his mind? Did you find out?" Tenel Ka questioned. K'tar smiled.

"One would not guess it, but you are a naturally inquisitive type, Your Majesty," K'tar continued to smile kindly as Tenel Ka grew slightly red at the realization of her forward questions. He laughed. "It's quite alright. I merely asked him the same thing. What was on his mind, as we were all Jedi, someone was bound to notice eventually."

Tenel Ka nodded, "He tried to conceal many things from me."

"To no avail, I trust?" K'tar asked, though he continued because both of them knew the answer, "Yes, he entrusted me with the answer and made me promise never to tell anyone. A funny thing to promise as I suppose he did not realize that someday everyone would know what he was thinking one day." With those words, K'tar looked directly at Tenel Ka. "That he loved you, Tenel Ka."

Tenel Ka then smiled to herself and for a moment, she was no longer the Queen of Hapes, but a young teenage girl, too proud to understand love, but strong willed enough to know how to protect what was important to her.

* * *

Valin Jacen Djo Solo slipped around the corner of the palace's wide hallway and ducked behind a large piece of artwork as a guard walked by on patrol. Another appeared and the patrol guard stopped to salute.

"Have you found the Prince yet?" The patrol commanded questioned the patrol soldier. She shook her head and the guard nodded, before proceeding down the passageway, completely unaware that Valin was behind the artwork. He knew how to remain quiet, despite that he made it a point to be as loud and noticeable as possible when he was in large public gatherings.

He scanned the hall once before beginning to stand up and walking across the shiny marble floors. Valin was about to begin running when he stopped dead in his tracks, an unusual scowl making its way across his face.

"Well, well," The figure said, stepping forward into the central hallway. "Who do we have here? The young son of the Queen, no doubt."

For the life of him, Valin couldn't place why he felt so angry and pained at seeing this complete stranger in front of him, But the feeling was genuine and Valin wasn't about to distrust it. He knew, despite his age, that his feelings didn't lie to him, not when they were this strong.

"Splendid," The figure said, "That saves me the trouble of looking for you." The figure drew back the black robe to reveal a lightsaber. Valin stood rooted on the spot, his deep brandy eyes fixated on the figure slowly drawing a lightsaber.

It was blood red.

"You!" Was all Valin managed to cry in a voice that was deeper than would be natural before the figure was thrown across the hall and into a wall. The wall shattered on impact and the figure went sprawling across the marble floor. Valin was no longer still. He now had a lightsaber of his own in his hand, one that he had subconsciously called from his belt during his rush of emotions.

All around him alarms were going off and guards were clopping their way down all the hallways, but Valin didn't seem to notice. His eyes were on the figure slowly rising from the rubble strewn ground.

"Yes, Boy, what is it about me that you hate so much?" The figure demanded with a grin. Valin continued to glare at the figure, thumbing on the blade as he walked. His lip trembled for a moment and then his eyes and entire body hardened.

"You," He said in a firm tone, a tear trickling from his eye, then he charged, flying through the air with the lightweight precision of a Jedi Master. He landed on his feet and turned to face the figure, who now backed up slightly at the sight of the now glowing child before him. There was no doubting the golden glow, it was the pure energy formulated when a force user became unified with the force.

"Incredible," The figure said, fear and awe dripping from his voice. Valin held out one hand and ripped the air vent panel from the wall and hurled it at the figure, who barely deflected it with his own force power.

As the first attempt had failed, Valin's eyes grew colder and more calculating. He looked around and then flipped around, slashing forward, side, and then stabbed his adversary in the side, before skidding backwards, putting his hand forward to steady himself.

The figure stood slowly, blood dripping onto the floor as he smiled, "Very well, this shall end today then. I would have liked to have used you for our cause, but it seems the force has other plans for you," The figure then cast his cloak aside, revealing a man clad in a simple black tunic, a tight fitting black leather vest, and loose fitting pants. He straightened and the insignia of a tiger on his vest came into full view.

At that the glowing aura surrounding Valin turned from gold to a blazing green and he charged forward, parrying and dodging the attacks from the enemy with clean expertise. The figure grunted and then lifted his hand, sending a blast of energy into Valin's slightly exposed side. The boy fell backwards and then skid across the floor on his back. For a moment, he didn't move and then he stood, now glowing from his eyes as well as his body.

"Enough!" The figure stopped in midstride and then backed off, kneeling as a new figure appeared from the shadows of the demolished hallway.

Valin's listless and now pupil free eyes were glaring straight into the heart of the new figure, Valin's chest heaving deeply, but his body didn't give. It wouldn't.

"Ah, yes," The new figure said, drawing back his hood, "Valin, is it? You do look like your father. A pity that you never knew him, he fought with a fervor that few carry."

Valin's grip on his lightsaber tightened and then he started forward once again, his blade raised over his head, the new figure simply raised his hand, palm forward and sent a beam of light forward.

The beam crackled and then sent sparks in many directions, leaving the calm figure of a young man in a brown robe behind, his own hand out and the other holding on to the now unconscious form of Valin. The extended hand dropped and the figure laid Valin on the ground, only to be picked up by the guards that had now arrived.

"We meet again, Anakin," The new figure said with distaste. He almost spat the name on the ground as he spoke.

"I honestly wish I'd killed you at the bar that day, Uldir," Anakin said, his eyes never leaving Uldir's. The other man laughed.

"You nearly burnt yourself to a crisp and you think you can kill me?" Uldir laughed. "Don't be a fool, Anakin. Stand aside and I'll make quick work of you and be on my way."

Anakin remained stationary. "What makes you think that I'd let you kidnap my nephew," It wasn't a question. Uldir looked from Anakin to the young boy, now shielded by a gathering army of Hapan warriors and a few Jedi clad in brown or white robes.

"You're as tainted as I am, Anakin," Uldir stated, "You can't deny what's coming. The Jedi are dying out and you're holding on to the last hopes, when you yourself are already lost."

Anakin's grip on his lightsaber tightened, but he didn't move to the bait, "I won't be lost until I decide to be." Anakin then lifted his hand and blasted the second figure with a flame that killed the man instantly.

UIdir's eyes narrowed to shadow his already yellow eyes, "I see," He said. "You knew then."

Anakin lowered his hand, "I didn't have to," He cast a glance backwards at Valin. "Valin's feelings are what told me that he was the one who stabbed Jacen first."

"Though it were no direct fault of mine, Anakin," Uldir stated plainly, "I trust you knew that as well?"

Anakin nodded, "As much as I'd love an excuse to kill you, Uldir. You're not the one I want to burn."

Uldir laughed hollowly. His yellow eyes widened as his laughter grew more maniacal and crazed. "By all means! Burn everyone who hurts you and no one will live, Anakin. Don't you see who you are becoming?"

Anakin opened his mouth and then shut it. He knew, he knew so well who it was that Uldir spoke of, because Anakin had dreamed endless dreams and drowned in endless nightmares of the man.

"Yes," Uldir said, grinning still, "You see, don't you? The man you've run from has come at last to take you on a one way trip to your namesake." Uldir let out a bark-like laugh accompanied by a wolfish grin, "Your nephew is something, Anakin. He already passed through the void without dying. He passed through the first pathway without knowing what was happening. You should be proud!" Uldir held out his arms as though showing his celebration of the event, "He has matched you and will do more on the side of those who will use the dark. It's time you stopped denying your heritage," Uldir looked over at Valin. "As he stopped fighting his."

* * *

Kirk's gloved hands tightened over the joint-stick but didn't squeeze the trigger as his eyes fixated on the ship hovering in the distance. The com-channel crackled and Kirk spoke clearly, "I know you're there, Xillanor. Come out and die for what you did to my master," Kirk's eyes hardened as the ship loomed closer and the voice of the bounty hunter came over the airwaves.

"So you've come to kill me," Xillanor asked calmly and almost in a sobered and sad tone, "I was hoping that you'd wait until you at least had a life to throw away before you died at my hands."

"Don't give me that bullshit!" Kirk snapped, his green eyes flared, "I don't care what kind of an overconfident bastard you are but you've played with me enough. I'm not dying until I see you and your motherfucking ship go up in flames!"

"Anger doesn't suit you, Kirk Dekim," Xillanor's voice replied, "I'm disappointed." The bounty hunter lowered his head as his hand touched the switch to his lasers. Kirk's own hand switched on all the weaponry.

"Yeah, well, your disappointment can suck my-" Kirk didn't get to finish his sentence as his eyes snapped around just as the blast hit him from the side. Two Tie-Fighters flanked him and rattled his ship with laser blasts. The first hit his wing and the second smashed through the glass of his cockpit. He winced as the crackling of wires zapped him and then he turned as the Tie-Fighters flipped around for a second round. He quickly strapped on his space helmet and gripped the controls.

"Not a chance," Kirk said and flipped his own ship over, blasting the two Tie-Fighters head on in two clean shots. The fighters exploded and revealed a whole fleet that emerged from the depths of hyperspace. "Dirty bastard," Kirk cursed incredulously under his breath. He fired several more rounds off, before soaring after the retreating Wolf ship.

"We're not done yet, Xillanor!" Kirk growled and set his engines on fullspeed before crashing straight into his enemy's ship. The flames burst freely from the _Blue Rain _but Kirk was beyond caring as he used his doublelasers to blast a hole in the hull of Xillanor's ship. Kirk then unbuckled his belt, blaster and lightsaber in hand as he leapt through the flames. The cold air of space ate at his minor burns but Kirk still didn't pay much attention that as he round the corner to see that the cockpit was empty.

He froze and then jolted as he felt the cold steel of a blaster-rifle pressed to his abdomen. "You lost." The blast sent shivers through Kirk's spine and the second was even worse. He could feel his blood flowing freely and he hit the floor faster than he could have imagined possible. Xillanor's masked face remained high above Kirk and looked as cold and emotionless as the bounty hunter really was.

"You were unfortunate enough to attack me in the prototype of my actual ship," Xillanor said, "I will give it to you as a burial ground," Xillanor then lifted his blaster-rifle once more and blasted Kirk's chest before exiting in his spacesuit to the transport that pulled up alongside two Tie-Fighters.

The three ships and the rest of the Tie-Fighters then vanished into the confines of space.

* * *

Jaina felt herself wondering for the first time if she'd made the right decision in pursuing the mysteries of her family's past. But as her heritage as well as that of the Dekim family seemed to link somehow, she knew it had to be uncovered at some point. She could only hope that nothing would happen this time around.

As the last time she went on a quest of her heritage her twin, Jacen, had been killed. She couldn't help but blame herself for not being there to help Jacen when he died. No matter how many times she played out her decisions of the past, she still came up with herself as the one to blame for her brother's death.

"Jay," Her glare into the stars of hyperspace broke as Zekk's rough voice soothed her ears. It seemed funny that the rough voice of a man as war hardened as Zekk Zahn was, could sooth Jaina's ears, but that's just how it was. She wasn't about to question the love she'd found now that she had it.

"You're thinking about it again," He stated. Jaina grunted as Zekk's hand touched her shoulder.

"He was killed while I wasn't here, what do you expect?" Jaina demanded. Zekk sighed.

"You to cut yourself some slack," Zekk said exasperatedly. Jaina gave him a funny look.

"When have you ever known me to cut anyone slack?"

"Point," Zekk said with a nod. He sighed and sat down next to her in the co-pilot's seat. "Look, can you just stop blaming yourself for what happened? It's not like you could have known Jacen was going to be killed."

"That's just it, Zekk," Jaina stated irritably, "I didn't," She turned around so she could look Zekk straight in his green eyes. "I didn't because I wasn't paying attention and look what happened!" Zekk placed his hands on her shoulders and sent what little comfort he could to her through their bond.

"I didn't know that my entire family was going to be blown up in one day," Zekk stated, lowering his gaze for a moment, "And I blamed myself for not being dead along with them. I didn't like being the only survivor," He looked into Jaina's eyes and pressed his forehead to hers, "And I think you feel the same about Jacen. You don't like being left behind."

Jaina bit her lip and Zekk shook his head, "You don't have to hide it anymore. Force knows you didn't want to cry at his funeral."

"I shouldn't," Jaina said, averting her eyes. Zekk shrugged.

"Tears are pure, I don't see why you're afraid of them, you're not afraid of anything else," He said with a grin. Jaina whirled around.

"What was that?" Jaina demanded. Zekk smirked.

"Oh, nothing, just that Jaina Solo's afraid of crying," Zekk received a sound punch in the abdomen for that and then Jaina went back to steering the ship. Zekk moaned for a second and then out of the corner of his eye he saw a small tear escape Jaina's eye.

**A/N- Well, I ran out of fuel for writing, so I'll have the next chapter up after I'm done with my one-shot challenge. There will be some NJO AU shots included, so it's not like I'm ignoring SW or any of my other fandoms during the challenge. I threw in some Valin for everyone who likes him and once again I've left you on a cliff-note. Heh, heh. I'm evil. =) **


	58. Dreams of a World

**Chapter 57**

**Dreams of a World**

_A/N- As it turns out, I got a writing itch for this chapter sooner than I thought, so I'm going to write it up and then focus completely on my one-shot challenge. _

_Enjoy!_

_-Don ^_^_

_

* * *

_

Luke had always loved talking about dreams. It was more often than not that he had someone making a comment or saying something like, "you're a dreamer, Luke," to him as though it came as a surprise to the rest of the galaxy, even the Jedi, that Luke Skywalker was a dreamer, and a spacey one at that. To everyone around him, Luke was the image of a calm and composed leader. A leader that knew exactly what was going on around him at all times.

The truth was that Luke honestly didn't have any more of an idea than anyone else did. The galaxy was a vast wonder that Luke often dreamt about and pondered in his free moments, which were increasing due to the fact that he was already considered useless in active matters of the Jedi.

Now Luke had dreams to think over. They were, of course, not ordinary dreams. As far as Jedi dreams went, Luke's were hardly ever simple. He always had dreams that turned out to be visions. Though because of his experiences during the rebellion, Luke did not always jump to the conclusion that his dreams and visions would come to pass and he simply thought over them in his daily meditations. Luke was sure that his nephew, Anakin, was having his own share of dreams and visions. After all, the boy had been having nightmares ever since Luke could remember. Leia would call him weekly to ask about the strange dreams or rather, nightmares, that Anakin Solo was having regularly.

Luke couldn't be sure that Anakin was still having them or even having dreams at all with everything that was going on. It was not unusual for visions to stop completely for long periods of time or for dreams to stop as well. When people were tired enough, anyone could stop dreaming and simply sleep.

Lucid dreaming was a talent that Luke also wondered about. He had heard that some Jedi had the ability to control their dreams and even change visions. Luke envied those Jedi for endless reasons. Luke had always found that dreams were things to be wary of and never thought about how beautiful they truly were.

After so many years, Luke never thought he'd find himself completely baffled by a dream that was so simple it could mean nothing at all. His reverie was broken as his radar beeped.

Luke looked up as he passed through a cloud of mist to see the wreckage of two ships. The shapes were that of Tie-Fighters, so Luke hardly believed he was seeing the design at all. The next ship surprised him even more. It was a clearly accurate copy of the Wolf ship that the murderer, Xillanor, flew. But it was not the ship, even Luke could tell from the angles. But anyone who didn't know ships like Luke did could easily mistake it for Xillanor's true ship, especially if the notorious bounty hunter was actually piloting it.

He then turned his head to see the sleek ship protruding from the Wolf ship's hull and sucked in his breath. There was no doubt about it, the sleek craft was _Blue Rain, _Kirk Dekim's prized fighter. Luke reached for his controls but then jerked his head around as three ships whizzed past him into hyperspace, leaving Luke just enough time to approximate the location where the ships would emerge. He then turned his head back to the wreckage as another ship pulled out of hyperspace: a small shuttle with a New Republic insignia on the side. Luke let out a relieved sigh and began to set his coordinates to track the three ships. He wasn't as clever as Han was when it came to tracking and flying ships, but Luke knew enough to get to where he could with the results.

As the final coordinate was entered, Luke cast one final glance behind him before his ship shot into hyperspace.

* * *

Natie had almost forgotten what panic and fear had truly felt like until she had pulled out of hyperspace to find the _Blue Rain _smashed into the side of what looked like Xillanor's wolf craft. She cautiously fingered her blaster, though she knew that against the lasers and guns of a fighter like Xillanor's craft she'd have no chance with a mere blaster.

When she confirmed with her radar that there were no other crafts in the area, she pulled up alongside the wolf craft and put on a space suit before leaping through the demolished hull of the wolf craft and into the central hallway. She didn't need to look far before she noticed the heavy trail of blood leading the form collapsed on the ground just feet away from her.

"Kirk!" Natie quickly shoved her blaster into her holster and skidded to Kirk's side, dropping down so she could gently lift him from the ground. "How long has he been like this?" She reached into her pack and pulled out a thick roll of cloth that she applied to one of the many holes in Kirk's chest that was leaking blood faster and faster by the minute. She pressed hard and the entire cloth was soaked a rich red within a few minutes. Natie cursed and pulled out the remaining clothing she'd packed in her bag in case she needed to change on her trip. Every garment was soaked through one after another and Natie was left to pressing her bare hands over the wounds, her hands and shirt were splattered with blood as she pressed forward to attempt to stem the bleeding.

"It won't stop," She breathed, "The bleeding just won't stop," Her brow knotted in a frantic realization as the blood continued to pour out of Kirk's body. "Stay awake, Kirk!" She yelled as the man turned his already distant gaze on her. His skin was already pale and his green eyes had lost much of their light.

"Come on, stop!" Natie yelled. "Why won't it stop?" She croaked as she pulled her reddened hands away. A sob escaped her before she gripped her sleeve and made to tear it, but something caught her arm in a firm grip. She turned to look over at Kirk, whose eyes were focused firmly on her as his eyes denied her attempt.

"If I don't do something, you'll bleed to death," She said. Kirk's head turned slightly in what he could form as a "no." Then he smiled at her.

"No, you'd freeze with a hole in your suit," He let out a cough and more blood trickled from his mouth. "I don't know… h-how I managed to survive as long as I did with this little oxygen." His teeth chattered and Natie's insides twisted.

"You're still bleeding, Kirk," She said, trying to hide the fear and trembling that was threatening to emerge in her voice. "It won't stop." Kirk continued to smile as his insides shuddered and more blood pooled out all over his chest and onto the floor. Natie's hand gripped Kirk's as her free hand tried to be a small dam for the flood of life that was leaving Kirk. "Kirk, look at me!" Natie yelled, squeezing his hand tighter. She bit her lip and piled the clothes onto his chest, pressing her entire weight onto them.

"It's going to be okay," She stated, "You're going to be okay," Natie said, her words cracking and growing raspier with every passing second. Kirk had already stopped talking and his eyes were completely distant now. Natie jerked her head around as the hand she held slackened in her grip, floating slightly.

"You can't…" Natie breathed. "You can't die," She gritted her teeth and squeezed his hand harder. Natie's mind began to drift as she closed her eyes, wanting to imagine away the nightmare before her. She couldn't be losing Kirk, not after such a short time, not after she'd lost everything else to death. It couldn't happen. She wanted to believe that life wasn't so cruel, because she wanted Kirk to believe the same thing.

But here he was in front of her, bleeding to death and there wasn't anything she could do to stop it.

"Kirk!"

* * *

Kirk's eyes blinked as he looked around the glowing green orbs around him. It was a stranger scene than he'd seen throughout most of his life, but it wasn't something he'd complain about since the glow was warm and welcoming. It was a comforting feeling, like an embrace that wrapped Kirk up in its arms until he felt safe. He relaxed in its presence and then started a little when it slackened to leave a cold feeling behind. As the cold set in, he looked up into the eyes of a glowing green figure.

"So you've finally come, Kirk," The figure said. Kirk looked at the figure strangely.

"Who are you?" He said cautiously. The figure laughed.

"Why is it that everyone who comes here asks me that question?" The figure held up its hand to stall any response. "No matter. You should already have figured it out by now."

Kirk paused and then responded, "The force, you're my version of the force."

"Correct," The figure stated with such power that all the orbs around the figure seemed to speak the word as well. It was as though the orbs pulsed with the very life that the figure held. "Though I wish you had come here on a more pleasant order of business."

Kirk looked sobered at that and lowered his gaze slightly, "I'm dead, aren't I?"

"Dying, but yes," The force replied, "In a matter of time you will be dead. As unfortunate as it is, I couldn't stop you from being killed."

Kirk's eyes met with those of the force as he took in the figure, "Why did you have to appear to me in the form of someone I don't know?"

The force folded its arms across its chest and smiled. The face was a man in his late twenties with a cleanly cut beard and a fresh set of Jedi robes. "You do not know him now, but he knew your family, or at least the beginning of it." Kirk frowned and closed his mouth right after he opened it slightly. "It will make sense to you in time."

Kirk frowned, "How? I'm going to die. You said so yourself."

"But you are not dead yet," The force replied simply, "A fact that will allow you the chance to wake up and choose whether to let yourself die or to fight to stay alive with what life there is left in you."

Kirk scowled even further, "I don't think there's any way for me to survive being blasted three times."

"Not without some creativity, no," The force said with a wistful smile, "A skill that I possess."

Kirk remained silent for a moment as he regarded the form that the force had chosen to take. "What's the catch?"

The force laughed and shook its head at Kirk, "You are most distrustful, Kirk Dekim. There is no catch."

Kirk grunted, "There's always a catch."

"This time, there is only a price to pay," The force waved its hand and Kirk blinked and then looked down at his clothes. They were now the robes of a Jedi trainee and his face, as reflected in the mirror nearest to him revealed a boy with a wild crew cut and curious green eyes. Kirk ran his hand over his smooth cheek and then turned at the hand that touched his arm. His breath caught in his throat before he breathed out the one word he'd dreaded for years.

"Nina," Her name sounded so nice and fresh to his ears, but he couldn't believe she was here before him. Kirk turned to the side to see the force.

"Your choice, Kirk," The force stated, "Is to decide whether or not you want to continue to live in the world you've created in your dreams," The force gestured to Nina and to the Jedi Academy jungles of Yavin 4, forever suspended in one point in time. "Or to return to the world you've got to live now. A life with someone new."

Kirk felt a pang as he looked over at Nina, who smiled sadly at him. "You've grown, Kirk," she said and immediately his skin stretched and facial hair appeared along with his broadened shoulders. "You're not the same person you used to be."

Kirk winced, "But I can go back," He protested, "I can be with you again, don't you want that?"

Nina smiled, "Of course I do, but I can make you stay when you've already moved on to something more. You've grown up since I last saw you and I wouldn't stop you from becoming the man you've always wanted to be," Nina stepped forward and placed her hands on his shoulders, "The strong Jedi I've always known you would be." Kirk touched her cheek his hand, but it fell through as Nina's body grew transparent.

"You're meant to live, Kirk," Nina said gently, "You've got more than enough to live for now."

"But!" He stopped as Nina's lips touched his and he closed his eyes, only to open them to feel the warm touch of lips on his own and Natie's eyes squeezed shut as tears streamed down her cheeks. _How long have I been out for? _Kirk questioned. He grimaced as he felt the blood still leaving his body. _Damned force still left me here in the same blasted condition. Some help. _He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, or rather couldn't since his entire body hurt more than anything he'd ever experienced in his entire life. But it was nothing compared to ache he felt as he looked at the tear streaked face of Natie as she desperately tried to stop the blood from flowing freely from his body. He lifted the hand that wasn't captured in her death grip and brushed her wet bangs from her face. Her eyes slowly turned to look down at him as he smiled weakly.

"Kirk…" She croaked and then shook her head before taking him a bone crushing but still warm hug. He didn't bother to remind her that he was still bleeding profusely since the hug seemed to be giving the needed pressure to some of the bleeding. He gently placed his arm around her and then managed a small eye roll despite himself.

"Natie," He said softly, finally getting her to pull back. She wiped her face with her sleeve and then reached over for the bloodied clothes and wrapped them tightly around Kirk's wounds before lifting him, surprisingly without too much difficulty. Natie then leapt over into the shuttle, carrying Kirk into the sick-bay and buckling him in before hooking him up to the IV. Her entire front was covered in blood, but despite it all, she still looked amazing to Kirk. _Though_, he thought, _I could just be delirious from blood loss_. He gave up trying to figure it out and smiled as Natie gave him a quick kiss before fast walking to the cockpit.

She plugged in the coordinates for the nearest friendly location and then gritted her teeth as the ship shot into the depths of hyperspace.

* * *

James felt a cold feeling wash over him as he lay in his bed. Something was off about the way the entire area around him felt and since he wasn't as experienced with his feelings through the force as the other Jedi were, James couldn't put his finger on what the problem was.

He slid out of bed, placing his feet firmly on the floor and grabbed his blaster as he left his bedroom for the living room of his apartment. He was glad that Wynn wasn't here because he could sense something was wrong from the moment he entered the living room. His eyes flicked to the door and then he sharply inhaled as cold metal touched the back of his skull, causing the hairs on his neck to stand up.

"James Oldresk?" The cool, filtered voice told James that this was a someone wearing a helmet and a familiar one at that. "You are requested to come with us."

"And if I refuse?" James questioned, his hand then quickly grabbed and drew his blaster and shot the unsuspecting soldier to the ground.

"Your armor hasn't improved any," James stated as he glared at the white armored trooper lying on the ground with a smoking hole in his chest.

"Bravo," A voice said, clapping. "Your performance indicates that the cloning job on you was successful." James turned his head slightly, only to grimace as two more white armored troopers grabbed James' arms from behind and twisted them so they could put stun cuffs on him. The figure before James went in and out of focus and with a final stun blast, James slumped in the troopers' grip completely.

"We're through here, move out," The figure stated and the troopers moved out, taking their dead comrade with them.

* * *

Natie lifted her head as the Hapan doctor emerged from the ICU, pulling down his surgical mask so he could speak properly.

"He will recover," The doctor stated and that was all it took for Natie to slump over in exhaustion in her chair. The doctor smiled and then bowed as Tenel Ka approached, slowly making her way down the hallway.

"Your Majesty," The doctor bowed and then excused himself as Tenel Ka sat down in the chair next to Natie's in the hallway outside of the ICU. For a few minutes, neither woman spoke, and eventually Tenel Ka was the one to break the silence.

"I am happy for you, Friend Natie," Tenel Ka stated, "You have lost many people in your life from what I have heard and I know Kirk's life means a lot to you."

"I owe his survival to you," Natie said, smiling weakly at Tenel Ka. The Hapan Queen shook her head. Tenel Ka was ever the modest and generous person. She would give until she had nothing more to give and never take the credit for any of it.

"You owe me nothing, Friend Natie," Tenel Ka replied with a rare smile, "I know what it is to lose someone you love. If anything, you should be thanking Anakin."

Natie's head went up, "Anakin Solo? Is he here?"

Tenel Ka nodded, "He came here not long before you. He said that he felt your presence and that we should send an emergency team to meet your shuttle." Natie opened her mouth in astonishment at the power that the young man, Anakin Solo, had harnessed through the force. He could tell so much without even having known where Kirk was coming from or what had happened. Natie couldn't even believe herself that Kirk had survived the level of injury he'd sustained. At the rate he was bleeding, she was sure this time that he was going to die. She'd given up towards the end and was shocked when Kirk woke up long enough to look at her with his clear green eyes, eyes so full of life that it was hard to believe that Kirk was bleeding at the same time.

"I can't thank all of you enough," Natie said with a shake of her head, "Kirk really is all I have left."

Tenel Ka inclined her head, "I imagine that that will change soon enough." She offered a wistful smile to Natie before standing up to follow the messenger waiting just down the hall for the Queen to finish speaking.

"I hope you have a good explanation for Kirk's condition," Natie turned abruptly to look at the stern face of Anakin Solo standing behind her. How he got there, she wasn't sure.

"I found him in the middle of space and I expect that he was hurt by the same person we've been chasing hopelessly," Natie replied with a sigh. Anakin folded his arms across his chest and she noted that he had a small bandage across brow. She guessed there had been some trouble long before she arrived.

"What happened?" Natie asked, knowing that Anakin would probably know what she was referring to. He followed her gaze and then let out a tired sigh.

"Another crazed person was trying to kidnap a member of my family. I tried to kill him, but he made a flashy exit before I could even touch him," Anakin's eyes flared for a second before they closed in silent meditation and what Natie guessed was clear frustration.

"Your family's okay, though," Natie said calmly. Anakin looked at her and then his blue eyes softened from their harsh expression. He clearly sensed some of Natie's own pain and past just from a brief search in the force. He still had his family and his friends with him and that was enough to keep him going.

"Yeah, they are," He said with another small sigh, though this time it was one of tired relief. Natie smiled at that. Anakin Solo wasn't too much older than Natie was when she found out that she and her brothers were alone in the world. There were times when Natie had dreamed of finding her parents, of finding a warm family that would care for her and give her the life she always saw others living. But when she looked at Anakin Solo, she knew that even life with a family was hard, because there was more to lose. Natie knew loss better than anyone and she could tell from Anakin's eyes that he knew it as well. She turned as she felt his gaze on her.

"You have one too, you know," Anakin said and then continued at Natie's look of confusion. "A family." His warm smile and the lack of elaboration eventually cued Natie in on what he meant. Anakin was already slowly walking down the hallway as Natie came up with the answer.

"Miss?" Natie turned her head away from Anakin's retreating form to the doctor. "You can see the patient now." She nodded and followed the doctor into Kirk's room. To her disappointment, he was sleeping but the peaceful expression on his face was enough for her to live with for now. She nodded to the doctor, who left, closing the door behind him.

Kirk's entire torso was covered in bandages and he had an IV running through his right arm as well as a breathing mask over his face. It was no surprise that he was still in bad shape, but this was better than seeing his pale and lifeless body on the ground, covered in endless amounts of blood.

She let her head sink into her hands and she let loose the remaining tears that she'd been holding back for time she'd spent rushing through hyperspace. It was too much to take all at once. She'd almost lost her entire world in a matter of moments. Just to watch his chest rise and fall was a gift. Kirk was alive and that was all that mattered.

She still had a life with him to look forward to and that gave her hope to look beyond the grim times they were trying to fight through now. It made her entire past seem bearable just to know that Kirk would be there for her at the end of the day. Nothing seemed too daunting when Kirk was there. Nothing seemed to be too difficult to handle while Kirk was there to smile at her. It all seemed silly and ridiculous, but she knew that it was the truth: Kirk's mere presence was the force that kept Natie going now. He was the reason she could keep hoping for a better future.

"Thank you," She whispered through her tears, "Thank you for not dying." She then moved her chair closer to the bed so she could hold his hand. She wiped her face on her sleeve and smiled as she held on gently to Kirk's hand.

"_Come on, Kirk!" Nina pulled the young boy by the hand over the fallen tree and then into the clearing. She stopped and looked around as Kirk took in his surroundings. It was a strange place in the jungle where the light hit the trees in such a way that it made everything look fuzzy and almost golden clad. "This is our world," Nina said, running her hand over the bark of a tree. "Only we know about it and only we can find it."_

_Kirk looked up and then over at Nina. "But if we're the only ones who know about it, how can it be a world at all?" Nina poked Kirk's nose._

"_Because I only need you here for it to be a good world, Silly," Nina smiled obliviously as Kirk's face reddened. He coughed to cover his embarrassment. _

"_But there's more out there than just us," Kirk stated as he came over to where Nina was standing and looked up at the sky once more. The trees cast shadows over the faces of the two young teens as they stood in the warm sunlight. "We're going to have to be a part of it eventually."_

_Nina frowned, "I don't want to be a part of it. I want a world with just us in it."_

"_That's just a dream world," Kirk said plainly. Nina snorted._

"_You're just too logical to believe in anything magical," She said and began to climb through the brush and because she was too busy trying to get through she tripped over a root and hit her knee on a sharp rock. Kirk slowly made his way over, calmly kneeling next to Nina as she sat hugging her injured knee. _

"_Let me see it," Kirk said and eased her arms away from the bleeding knee. He tore off a strip from his pant-leg and wrapped it around her knee. Then he crouched down with his back to Nina. "Come on, I'll carry you."_

"_What? You can't carry me! I'll crush you!" Naina exclaimed. Kirk rolled his eyes and let out a sigh._

"_No, you won't, just trust me, okay?" Kirk turned his head so she could see the confident and gentle look in his green eyes and she slowly relented. _

"_Okay, but the minute I get too heavy, you have to put me down," Nina said as she climbed onto his back, clasping her hands around his neck. Kirk stood up with ease and wrapped his arms around her legs so she wouldn't fall. After a few minutes Nina gave up trying to convince Kirk that he couldn't carry her, when it had become obvious that he really could. She leaned her head against the back of his neck, feeling the warm tingle of his neck hairs brushing against her cheek. _

"_Kirk?" _

"_Yeah?" He said as he stepped over another root, making sure he didn't jostle Nina too much. _

"_Are you afraid of dying?" Kirk continued walking, though his gait shifted somewhat at the tone of her voice as well as the seriousness of her question. _

"_Not really, we all die eventually," He replied, his tone calm and even. "Why?" He continued walking, completely aware of the fact that Nina had gone quiet for three minutes after he turned the question on her. _

"_I'm scared of it," Nina said finally. Kirk smiled. _

"_You've got nothing to be afraid of, though. What makes you ask about it now?"_

"_I'm afraid to see you die," Nina replied. _

_Kirk laughed, "But I'm right here, Nina. You're pretty close to crushing my neck though." He continued to laugh for a few minutes until he noticed that Nina had gone quiet. _

"_I had a dream that you died."_

_Kirk stopped in his tracks and his entire body refused to move as he felt Nina's heartbeat pick up. He sensed her fear and her apprehension through the force and it was clear that whatever she had seen had scared her a great deal. "You were lying on the floor of some kind of ship and you were bleeding a lot. I was there, crying and saying 'the bleeding won't stop, the bleeding won't stop,' over and over again. And the bleeding didn't stop. Your face went pale and then you died right there," Nina's grip on Kirk's shoulders tightened. "I-I couldn't stop you from bleeding and you died. I couldn't stop it," Nina began to tremble and Kirk slowly lowered her to the ground so he could face her. He placed his hands on her shoulders._

"_Look at me, Nina," Kirk said, "Look at me," He repeated and slowly Nina's tearstained face lifted to look into his eyes. "I'm alive. This is me, I'm breathing right now and I'm not bleeding." He took her hand and placed it over the left side of his breast. The thudding sent tremors through Nina's body. "You feel that, right?" Kirk asked and Nina slowly nodded. "I'm not going to die any time soon, so I want you to stop worrying, okay? Most visions don't come true. You know Master Skywalker told us that."_

_Nina sniffed, "But what if it does?" Kirk smiled and turned around so Nina could climb onto his back again. _

"_Then you'll just have to bring enough bandages with you wherever you go," Kirk said with a grin and Nina laughed. _

"_I'll bring enough for both of us," Nina said confidently. Kirk nodded and then grunted._

"_I hope you don't make a pattern of falling on rocks," He said with sigh, "You might not have any knees left by the time we're older."_

"_Will too!" Nina protested and Kirk continued to laugh while she pounded on his back with her fists. _

"_Hey, Kirk?" Nina said quietly. Kirk tensed slightly in anticipation of another dark question. "Promise me something?" _

"_Sure," He said tentatively, but still genuinely._

"_Promise that you'll make whatever world you live in, as you'd really dream it." Kirk smiled._

"_You got it," Kirk stated with a nod and Nina laughed. _

"_Good."_

_As the sun set over the jungle, Nina once again had the same dream. This time Nina saw someone else crying next to Kirk, another woman who was desperately trying to stop the bleeding and after some time, the stranger did stop the bleeding. Nina tensed, wondering who the woman was. After a few minutes of searching the force and herself, Nina finally gave up, only to realize that this may truly be a vision of a future, even if it wasn't set in stone. _

_The woman loved Kirk: that much was clear. Nina let her fear dissipate. It was okay. Someone who loved Kirk was protecting him there. She would have to trust that the person would continue to protect Kirk. _

_Thank you, Nina thought, Thank you for protecting him._

Kirk blinked his eyes open. He hadn't dreamed about Nina in a long time and he'd almost forgotten that Nina had told him about the dream of his death and how she'd stopped worrying about it. He had asked her many times about why it didn't bother her, but she refused to tell him.

Only when she was dying did she show him through their bond that someone would protect him and care about him, but in his anger and grief over losing Nina, Kirk had forgotten about the vision.

_It was Natie, _Kirk thought, looking over at the chestnut haired woman sleeping in the chair next to his bed. She held on to his hand as she slumbered, a peaceful expression on her face. _Nina, you knew Natie was going to be there. That's why you sent me back._

_**Make your world as you dream it, Kirk.**_

Kirk let a single tear trickle down his face before he nodded, "I will, Nina. I promise."

* * *

**A/N- I guess that was bittersweet. Kirk's life is full of bittersweet memories. But not all of them are bad. Well, until the challenge is over I am going to be writing one-shots, so I thank you all for your patience in waiting for the updates on this story and the others I'm working on. =) **


	59. Premonitions in Gray

**Chapter 58**

**Premonitions in Gray**

_A/N- Greetings, All! It's been a while since my last update, so I'm eager to post this chapter (so I'll be brief with my notes)._

_First of all, I'd like to thank those of you who gave your support on my writing challenge and I would like to encourage those of you who haven't submitted a prompt to do so. =) _

_I am currently addicted to the film "The Young Victoria" and this chapter was inspired by the film, so credits to the makers of the film for a job well done. _

_Without further ado, here is the next chapter of "Life and the Force." Seriously, I am definitely going to wrap this series up before I leave for college, so prepare for the next series to start sometime this August. _

Avast ye scoundrels!

-Captain Don the Beardless

* * *

"_Present Arms!" _

_In perfect alignment of both clacking of boots and turning to face the steps of the Grand Palace, the red uniformed guards of the Chiss Ascension welcomed the heir that had just been born into the royal family. Though the Ascension had not begun as a monarchy, the Imperials had given the Chiss as sense of regal pride that they eventually fully embraced as their creed. _

_At the top of the steps, the Baron stood, his hands clasped behind his back as he stood to attention. He had personally trained most of the guards assembled before the palace steps and he was prouder than ever that these soldiers would soon be assigned to guard the new member of the royal family. _

_Jagged Fel._

His name would soon turn the heads of the highest Chiss officials and members of the royal family. Even the king, who had an heir of his own already, was proud to call Jagged his nephew and at one point considered offering Jagged the throne instead of his cousin, Nokir.

"You wished to see me, Baron?" Soontir turned his head from its focus on the window. His face had lines of strain and wrinkles upon his features that had nothing to do with his actual age. He remained standing at the window, his hands clasped behind him and his white dress gloves held between them.

"Yes, Jagged," The Baron said and immediately brought a concerned frown to Jag's face as he looked at his father's turned back. Informalities were never something the Baron bothered with unless it was necessary and the Baron rarely found it necessary to drop titles and formalities. "Answer me, Jagged, are you going to take the crown?"

Jag stiffened and then flinched slightly as Soontir's eyes looked at Jag from the side. "I have formally renounced my title in the royal family."

Soontir nodded, "I thought as much," to Jag's further surprise, Soontir smiled a weak smile. "You have never surrendered your honor, even if it meant surrendering your dignity on a public front."

Jag lowered his gaze and averted his eyes, "I have forgone my own heritage." Soontir crossed over to Jag and once again shocked his son by placing both hands on his son's shoulders.

"You have done what is right," Soontir said firmly and then released Jag as quickly as the Baron had taken his son's shoulders. "Now there is something else I must request of you as a sworn member of the Chiss Guard."

Jag's eyes went wide for a second. It wasn't made public that Jag had been admitted to the Royal Chiss Guard, as he was official a member of the royal family himself. Jag's experience and skills had earned him more than enough attention by all the members of the military, including Jag's father. That the Baron was mentioning the position meant that Jag's duty as a royal had finally come to an end.

* * *

Jag clacked his heels together and stood to attention. It was time to say goodbye to his past.

Wynn burst into the small apartment of her two friends, and neither one of them showed surprise to seeing her, but showed every ounce of concern and sympathy as they knew. To the side stood a member of the New Republic police and two older Jedi in robes that Wynn didn't recognize.

"No word yet, Wynn," Anakin said apologetically with a shake of his head. Wynn's stature wilted a little and then she walked over to the couch and sat down as if she wanted to sink into it and disappear.

The officer continued to make his report and ask questions while Tahiri crossed over to the couch and sat down next to Wynn.

"Is this normal?" Wynn asked in a low and hollow voice. Tahiri raised her eyebrow.

"What? James getting kidnapped? Oh, yes," Tahiri said with a wry grin. The other time had been the result of a grudge against the Peace Brigade. Wynn frowned.

"But it's not the same people this time, though," Wynn stated as she cast a glance back at the officer.

"We don't know," Anakin replied simply, furrowing his brow. He then fell silent, his arms folded across his chest and his blue eyes glinting with a light of concentration as he tried to search the force for a sign of James' presence. But he wasn't having any luck on account of the distance that James seemed to be from Anakin's location on Coruscant.

"With any luck, we'll find him before someone else does," One of the Jedi replied. Anakin had to give Corran a strange look.

"I thought you said you had a mystery to solve," Anakin pointed out. Corran shrugged.

"The two seem to be connected or that's the feeling I'm getting here," Corran replied. "I think you'd better leave this one to us."

Wynn scowled as she looked at Corran and then at the younger man beside the Jedi Master. "How do you know that you're not just following a false trail?"

The younger man folded his arms into his sleeves and regarded Wynn with calm eyes but a firm gaze, "The force alone knows that and we must trust it."

"I'm not an idiot," Wynn snapped, "You guys will probably go off on a wild gundark chase and only end up getting hurt or killed like everybody else and then where will we be? James is my friend and I'm not letting anyone else find him!" She stood up and then stalked right out the door. Tahiri winced as the door slammed behind Wynn.

"That went well," Corran said with a heavy sigh.

"If you hadn't been so forceful, Uncle," The other man said.

"I know what I was doing, Henry," Corran answered, "If you'd only kept your mouth shut about that 'only the force knows' crap, we might not have had her stomp out of here."

"You two have nothing to do with why she won't let you help her," Anakin said, his blue eyes glancing over at the two bickering men. Corran turned to look at his former student.

"How would you know?" Corran demanded. Anakin's eyes hardened.

"You seem to have forgotten how love drives someone, Corran," Anakin smiled serenely as he shut his eyes and reached out into the force. He could feel Wynn and he knew she was probably heading to Chiss territory to get the help she needed. Corran blinked as though he'd been slapped. He'd once gone on a journey, sacrificing everything he knew to rescue his wife, Mirax and now he'd been face to face with a young girl with a similar goal and he'd completely missed that.

"She can't possibly find him on her own," Corran protested. Anakin shrugged as he walked into the kitchen.

"You're going to have to deal with your own quest without getting in the way of hers," Anakin replied, "She's not likely to accept your help unless you really have a good reason to want to find James."

Corran jawed and then clamped his mouth shut. Infuriation creased the lines on his forehead and he swore loudly before leaving. Henry inclined his head in apology to the remaining people in the room before following his uncle out.

"Anakin," Tahiri said, coming into the kitchen. "Do you know why someone might want to kidnap James?"

Anakin lowered his voice and then frowned, "I think it might be that he's not really the person we know as James Oldresk."

Tahiri frowned and then nodded, "You're talking about the fact that he's a clone?"

"Yeah," Anakin said soberly, "I have a feeling that whoever kidnapped him knows that James was a clone of a stormtrooper as well."

Tahiri rubbed her forehead, "Is Wynn going to be okay?" She looked over at Anakin, who seemed to have drifted off into his own mind because he didn't respond. "Anakin?"

"Huh?" He shook his head, "Sorry. Yeah, I'm sure she'll be fine. I doubt that anyone from her family will let her go alone." Tahiri nodded. They had both met Wynn's older brother, Jag, at Jaina and Zekk's wedding and the young man was anything but lenient about his sister's safety. Of course Wynn had carefully neglected to mention her relationship with James and Tahiri was sure that Jag wouldn't have approved no matter who Wynn chosen. There was no telling how her father would react either.

"I have a bad feeling that James' kidnapping is only the beginning of our problems," Anakin said, frowning deeply. Tahiri tried to get a read on his thoughts or emotions, but both were either heavily guarded or muddled by confusion.

"So what are we going to do?" Tahiri questioned. Anakin noted that she'd put emphasis on the 'we' part of that question. He knew he'd have to really pull a crazy stunt to get her to stay behind again while he went off to fix another one of the galaxy's many problems or developing problems.

"We need to call a grand meeting of the New Republic council," Anakin stated after a few minutes of thought. "All the Jedi have to be there too, it's the only way we're going to find a united front on this."

"But we don't even know what we're uniting against," Tahiri protested, touching Anakin's arm. He shook his head.

"Yes, we do," Anakin said, turning away as he bit his lip, "We're fighting against Uldir and his forces. I think Uldir and Xillanor are connected somehow too."

"But, Anakin, you don't have any basis for this-" Tahiri objected but Anakin cut her off.

"Yes, I do! Uldir and Xillanor have both tried to kill members of my family and one of them has succeeded. I'm not waiting until the council thinks it's the right time to act. We have to do something as a galaxy or the New Republic really will fall apart."

"Don't you think you're being a bit overly pessimistic?" Tahiri asked, raising her brow. At Anakin's scowl, she dropped her brow. "Look, I just think maybe we try to give it some time and maybe something will give us a clear clue."

Anakin's fist slammed the countertop so hard that the dishes on it shattered. Tahiri still couldn't believe how strong Anakin's force powers were sometimes. He had so much flowing through him at all times that he couldn't help but let some of it through when he was even a tiny bit emotionally riled. "I'm through waiting." Anakin left the kitchen and got his cloak, put it on and then grabbed his lightsaber from the table before heading out the door. Tahiri winced. She'd not only seen how much pain Anakin was in, but he was radiating it emotionally all the time now. She wondered how he managed to fall asleep with the amount of hurt he carried around on a regular basis. Her suspicion was that he didn't sleep much, if at all.

If Anakin felt the need to bring the council together, then she knew that he was probably following his intuition, which, despite its tendency to be risk driven, was mainly sound and rational. He was the only Jedi with enough potential to take over from his uncle as Grand Jedi Master and Tahiri knew that if anyone could bring the council together in Luke Skywalker's absence, it had to be Anakin.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Tahiri said quietly and then smiled as she felt the comforting presence of the baby inside of her.

* * *

Natie sighed. She was relieved that Kirk had survived his newest near fatal experience and constantly thanked the force for it. Though she couldn't quite understand the force directly, she knew what it was through Kirk and that alone was enough. Kirk was very much in tune with the force, like it was a part of his own anatomy and she didn't doubt for a second that it really was.

She watched curiously from the doorway as Kirk lay with his eyes closed and his face remained concentrated but relaxed. It had taken her a moment to realize that he wasn't sleeping and that he was meditating. Now as she watched him, she saw his passion for the force was the same as his passion for life itself. He only needed to see the two were one and the same to break through the chains of his past.

"You can come in, you know," Natie nearly jumped as she heard Kirk's voice. His eyes were still closed, but he already knew she was there. Natie mentally slapped herself for forgetting that Jedi didn't need their eyes to see things in front of them.

"How are you feeling?" Natie asked, recovering from her reverie and mental slapping. Kirk raised an eyebrow as he opened an eye to look sidelong at her.

"You mean aside from the excruciating pain and the partially healed gashes?" He nodded in affirmation, "Peachy."

Natie had to laugh at that. At least he hadn't lost his sense of humor, however dry it was, "I don't think I need to remind you that if Xillanor had shot you in the head you wouldn't be here."

Kirk grunted, "You don't. The bastard's too cruel for such a direct method. He likes playing with his targets."

Natie scowled, "If you'd pushed him, he probably would have finished you off."

"He did," Kirk replied with a sigh, "I wouldn't know how to explain this to a non-force user, but to put it simply, I went to the place of the dead while I was unconscious."

Natie remained silent at Kirk's sudden confession. After a few minutes she recovered enough to fill the silence that had fallen between them. "So that means you died and then came back?"

"Kind of," Kirk said, running his free hand through his hair, "I went to a place where you're supposed to be one with the force. But because I wasn't quite dead yet, I was told I couldn't die just yet."

Natie blinked, "By whom?" Kirk grinned.

"Nina."

* * *

Luke held his breath and masked his force presence as much as possible. He had trailed Xillanor long enough that Luke was sure that they were well past the Outer Rim and the safety of the New Republic or its allies.

_I guess I'm on the right track then, _Luke thought wryly. He lowered his ship onto the surface of the barren planet and waited until Xillanor had emerged from his own craft and disappeared into the one structure located within miles of where Luke was. He slowly exited his ship and walked over to the building. The dirt road leading up to the entrance was clear and Luke couldn't sense any presences around the entrance or threats for that matter. That didn't reassure Luke any, he knew better than to let his guard down. He walked slowly, keeping his hand on his lightsaber as he made his way up the dirt path.

Within minutes he was at the doors and still no one had appeared and no alarms had gone off either out loud or in Luke's mind. The eerie quiet did everything but calm Luke's nerves. He was sure that the minute he left, someone would be sent to kill him and he was sure that that someone would be Xillanor.

Luke felt out with the force once more and then pushed open the doors to the building. They creaked slightly and then opened to reveal a dark hallway lined with metal plating. Luke silenced his footsteps as much as possible using the force and light steps and continued down the hallway until he heard voices coming from the doors at the end of the hall. Luke checked to make sure his presence was masked and then continued down the hallway until he was just outside of the doors. His breath held and he used the force to help him breath quietly. Any sudden movement would alert the presences in the room to Luke's.

"So it seems that the control of Hapes failed," Luke tensed as he heard the words. He moved closer so he could peek through the crack. Inside the room, the figure sitting at the head of the meeting table straightened. His collar indicated he was an officer of high rank.

"Ta'a Chume was and remains to be a flagrant fool," Another figure stated, this one was seated at the far end of the table from the first officer, "Did you expect any more from her?"

"You think this is a joke, Martell?" Another officer demanded. The figure at the end of the table smiled complacently and laced his hands together on the table.

"On the contrary, Colonel Delaris, I find the fact seriously disturbing that I saw your mistake before you did," The figure eyed the officer carefully. "Your manipulation of Ta'a Chume failed from the moment you decided to let her out of your sight."

The Colonel's cheek twitched visibly, "You're bluffing." The figure known as Martell shifted so that part of this face was in the dim light hanging above the table. His rich brown hair and eyes were all Luke could see, but he felt something eerily familiar about the face. Martell's eyes fixated on the Colonel.

"I have no reason to bluff to a stiff necked wig as conceitedly worthless as you, Colonel," Martell stated in a blunt tone. The table clanged as the Colonel's fist came down on it, turning the heads of every officer in the room. Martell remained unperturbed.

"Damnit, Martell, just where do your loyalties lie?" Delaris snapped. All eyes focused on Martell, who still sat calmly with his fingers laced delicately together as a smug smile crossed his features. A shiver went up Luke's spine at the sight. "To whoever pays the highest price is what I'd usually say," Martell said with a sigh, "But lately your incompetence goes beyond even my help." Martell stood up.

"You are not dismissed, Martell," The colonel stated and rose, slamming his palms onto the table. Martell turned, casting the glint of the metal of the blaster he now held in his hand.

"On the contrary, Colonel," Martell said, "I just dismissed myself." With a single blast through the gray haired officer's head, the Colonel's body slumped to the ground. The other officers watched this with complete silence, every one of them knew that Martell was the closest to their leader.

"Martell," The Officer at the left of Martell's seat stood up. He bore the insignia for a General and Luke immediately sucked in his breath before he could stop himself. He knew the symbol on the General's jacket. The General spoke with a slight incline of his head, a clear gesture of reverence and respect towards the man who had just blown out the brains of one of the General's officers. "You will join us for the reception later?"

Martell pulled his jacket on sleeve by sleeve and then put his blaster in its holster at his side. "Of course, General Kataris," Martell said in a silk coated voice. A friendly smile crossed the man's features and once again Luke felt an uncomfortable tingle run down his spine. "I wouldn't miss it." Then Luke made a quick move to shift behind the door as it opened and then hid behind a corner as he watched Martell's back disappear down the hallway. Luke wanted to follow, but sensed that it was probably not a good idea. He slowly made his way back towards the door and peered in.

Ten minutes passed and no one spoke following Martell's departure. Finally one of the other officers cleared his throat, "It's hard to believe that our leader trusts someone like him."

The General eyed the speaker, a young newly promoted officer from his shy tone and frightened expression, "Our leader trusts Martell and that shoulder be enough for you, Major." Luke frowned as he squinted to see the figure, he could only make out the outline of fur. The major was a Bothan. "Know your allies, Major, and be sure that you don't betray them." The General straightened and gave a stern glare in the direction of the major, who made no response. Luke could feel a strange amount of calm resolve and almost a sense of confidence from the Bothan. It was as though the Bothan knew something the General didn't.

"This meeting is adjourned," The General stated. Luke once again retreated to the corner where he was hidden by the shadows of the hallway. All the officers filed by one by one and Luke looked up as the Bothan exited. The Bothan was wearing a hooded cloak over his uniform and Luke inwardly cursed that his chance at seeing who was behind the scenes of this meeting had been thwarted by a fashion choice.

Luke waited until everyone had gone down the opposite way of the hall to the Bothan and then followed the cloaked creature until he stopped at the door to the exit where a shadowy figure was waiting, his arms folded across his chest.

"Well, well," The figure said, "Major." The Bothan stared coldly at the figure. "I trust you enjoyed the meeting?"

The Bothan wasn't a fool because he kept a respectful tone in front of the figure, "I did, Sir."

"A fine show or wits and guts there at the end, I might add," The figure stepped forward and it was no surprise that it turned out to be Martell. He smirked and made a quick glance down the hallway before his eyes rested completely on the Bothan.

"My apologies, Sir," The Bothan said.

"Perhaps you'd like to tell me why you don't trust me?" Martell asked. The tone was genuinely curious. Luke couldn't tell how the mind of this Martell worked and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

"I'd rather not, Sir," The bothan replied.

"Is it well founded?" Martell asked calmly and his voice held a gentle tone now. Luke wondered if Martell liked people who thought outside of the box.

"I believe so, Sir," The bothan replied. Martell nodded.

"Then tell me. All suspicions are worth examining if they are well founded," Martell said. He waited while the Bothan straightened and then looked Martell straight in the eye. For a moment the Bothan felt a small amount of respect for Martell for his ability to take critique.

"I believe you are wasting resources, Sir," The Bothan replied finally. Martell nodded approvingly.

"Indeed that is a well founded concern. No use in wasting good soldiers. However, I think you'll agree that Delaris' use had expired."

The Bothan inclined his head, "It had. I myself wanted to know what he was doing at that meeting."

Martell smiled, "You are a sharp minded youth, Major. What are you doing listening to such men as the General?"

"I have no choice, Sir," The Bothan replied and Luke felt the Bothan's bitterness radiating through him. "I have to keep a low profile."

"Low profile?" Martell questioned and then his eyes lit with understanding and respect crept into Martell's voice. "Then you are Tendra?"

The Bothan nodded silently and Martell clapped the Bothan's shoulder. "Then may the force be with you. You have accomplished plenty in such short time. I believe your next task will be the hardest, however."

The Bothan's eyes were shadowed as he furrowed his brow, "I sense something." Martell turned his head and then looked back at the Bothan. "Then you must move early."

"Understood," The Bothan said and clacked his heels together and saluted Martell sharply before bowing. The Bothan then exited with a briefly intense look down the hallway before exiting the building.

_Tendra? _Luke questioned to himself. There was clearly something in the works here and the Bothan and Martell were in on it together. Luke had a sinking suspicion that he had just stumbled onto more than he was meant to find out. He waited until Martell had gone down the hallway before exiting the building and quickly making his way to his ship. He switched the directions to Coruscant and then punched the hyperspace button.

"I need to tell the New Republic about this."

**A/N- The countdown to the final chapters begins. Until the next time! =) **


	60. Deafening Silence

**Chapter 59**

**Deafening Silence**

_A/N- Hey Everyone! I'm back with another chapter and I have to say that this one is more than just a little bit intense (all the final chapters are really intense). It is now official: This is the beginning of the end of the "Namesake" trilogy and I have so many people to thank for helping me to come this far. I will be sure to list your names in the very last chapter (which is only the end of this series-there will be a few more series following this one; it's just the end of this particular story arc). _

_I had an excerpt that I'd written for this chapter, but because a lot of the details had changed I pretty much had to overhaul the entire thing. No worries about it though since the initial idea is still the same as the other one._

_Thank you to everyone who has voted in the OC polls. I will list the results in the final chapter. So if you haven't voted already, please do! _

_Well, I'll stop rambling now. _

_WARNING: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SOME INTENSE SCENES AND VIOLENCE. _

_Best,_

_-Don ^_^_

_

* * *

_

Kirk sat up abruptly, woken by a warning pang he'd gotten through the force. He grimaced as his chest responded to his sudden decision to sit up. He used the force to numb his pain and then sucked in a deep breath. He wasn't sure what the warning was about, but he knew that if he waited it wouldn't matter because whatever it was would have already transpired. Kirk slowly removed the IV from his arm and then sighed. He was going to get flack for this later.

He heaved himself from his bed and slowly made his way out of the room, using the force to sense if there were any doctors in the hallway. Seeing that the coast was clear, he slipping through the hall like a wraith. Footsteps across the far end of the hall made Kirk slink into the shadows of the wall's corner and a wall protruding with a built-in comlink. He backed up against the wall and listened as the clacking of boots on the floor became clearer. He blinked in surprise as the white armored soldiers passed his hiding place and then stopped in front of his door.

"I'm sorry, you can't disturb him, he's a patient here," The doctor insisted, but one of the soldiers took his blaster and smashed the side of the doctor's head with it. The doctor collapsed to the floor with blood pooling from the indent in his skull.

"You were ordered show us the patient, not to comment," The head soldier snapped in a cool filtered voice. He then nodded to one of the other soldiers and the solider used the butt of his blaster rifle to smash the glass of the door to Kirk's room and then he kicked the door open for the other soldiers to file in.

"He's not here, Sir," One of the soldiers reported. The head soldier, with the yellow stripe down the front of his helmet, pulled his comlink out and barked orders into it, "Kirk Dekim is in the hospital. Find him and neutralize him."

Kirk felt his insides sink at those words. They were looking for him. They knew he was here and there were few people who did. Information about the whereabouts of all the Jedi were kept secret between select groups of people: Tionne, the Skywalkers, the Solos, Natie, and two people on the council knew. One was Henry, Corran Horn's nephew, and the other was- Kirk's mind snapped into motion. He needed to get out of the hospital and quickly. If he was being targeted, that meant there was a traitor who was close enough to everyone in the Jedi Order to kill them at a moment's notice.

_Damn, why didn't I see it before? _Kirk cursed and then silently prayed to the force that Natie wasn't coming to see him today. She really didn't need to be involved in another kidnapping or murder attempt. Kirk on the other hand, had no choice. This was the lifestyle he'd chosen by becoming a Jedi and a well trained one at that. He looked up as a squad of white armored soldiers ran by, their blasters drawn and ready to attack. As soon as they had passed, he slipped out of his hiding space and ran as fast as he could down the hallway, stopping only to hide as he spotted another squad of soldiers patrolled by. Kirk silently wished the hospital had let him have his lightsaber.

He then used the force to bring down one of the light panels on the squad of unsuspecting soldiers. All of them were crushed and Kirk wasted no time in grabbing one of the blaster rifles and shooting the new squad of soldiers that had appeared as soon as the crash echoed through the hallways. He shot another soldier before ducking and running down the next hallway towards the stairwell. The elevators were sure to be guarded, if not stalled to catch Kirk on his way out.

He breathed a sigh before firing blasts at the two soldiers guarding the stairwell and then grabbed the railing and propelled himself over it and landed solidly on the next platform down. He then bolted for the next flight and blasted the soldiers that came at him from behind and then those at the next door. He grunted as a blast struck him in the arm and then blasted the soldier responsible in the face, or rather, his helmet. The blast sent the soldier into the wall and he didn't get up.

Kirk then ran down the remainder of the stairs only to find the bottom floor was blocked by a five squads. The commander of the group stepped forward. "Take him alive."

"Over my dead body," Kirk muttered and then opened fire on the group and then force jumped into the opening he'd blasted, and then kicked the legs out from under the two soldiers blocking the doors to the exit. They fell and Kirk took that moment to run out the door and saw with relief that Natie was pulling up in her landspeeder.

"What the-?" She began but Kirk hopped into the passenger seat as more soldiers poured out of the hospital doors, shooting their rifles at the departing landspeeder.

"I'll explain later," Kirk said, "Go!" Natie needed no second telling and put her foot on the gas and they shot away from the hospital. As soon as they were well away from the soldiers and their blasters, Natie turned to Kirk, who was still catching his breath.

"Mind telling me why someone is yet again trying to kill you?" She questioned. Kirk caught his breath long enough to look at her and then he took another deep breath before responding.

"Not trying to kill me," He heaved, "They were trying to capture me for some reason. I think they're with the group that has been offing all the Jedi until now."

Natie paused to let the news sink in, "So how did they know where you were? Isn't that privileged information?"

Kirk nodded, "It is. Which means only one thing," He looked harshly on ahead of him as the speeder shot through the streets, "There's a traitor among the Jedi."

* * *

"The Grand Council of the New Republic will now commence," Chief of State Korsk Deris announced to the council from his floating podium at the center of the audience chamber. There were murmurs of doubt and distrust. Word had gotten around that Deris was responsible for leaving security lax around the New Republic central meeting buildings and that left almost everyone to question Deris' leadership skills and his loyalty.

Anakin scowled despite his actual pleasure at seeing Deris fall in standing with the council. The rare alien species had done nothing but preach and command and now his true colors were showing. Anakin had sensed something wrong long ago but held comment on account of the fact that he didn't have any solid ground to question the leader. Also, he knew that the New Republic needed to trust one another if they were to stand up to Xillanor. He was disappointed that in their dire time of need, a hack job like Deris was leading the New Republic. It seemed all Deris was doing was purposely trying stall any progress on the Xillanor issue. Despite Deris' agreeable and supportive nature towards any solutions, he neglected to offer any himself. A clear sign that the Chief of State was either incredible stupid or a traitor, Anakin didn't think that Deris was either, or at least he didn't want to think that, not right now.

"Why didn't you tell me you were calling a meeting?" A voice whispered in Anakin's ear from behind. Anakin continued to keep his eyes on the activity at the center of the room around Deris while Anakin responded.

"Because there wasn't any time to waste," Anakin said in a low voice just loud enough for both he and his uncle to hear.

"If you'd told me I would have come straight here," Luke said. "I think I've found some important information in regards to Xillanor."

Anakin turned his head to look at his uncle. The fact that Luke was saying anything about this to Anakin at all must mean that Luke planned to tell the council about it as well. Anakin tensed slightly because of his uncle's tone.

"Someone in this council, maybe more, are traitors. They are planning something," Luke frowned at his nephew, "I made a pardon request for you to the council before coming here," Luke said slowly. He breathed a sigh, "I know about your use of force fire, Anakin."

Anakin's eyes turned to meet his uncle's in silence before he responded, "I was ready to resign from the Jedi Order."

Luke shook his head and said firmly, "Don't. The New Republic and its Jedi need as many experienced Jedi to lead them as they can get," Luke said with a weary look across the council chamber, "Our numbers are dwindling, Anakin. We can't afford to lose you or anyone else. Especially now that I have an idea of who we're fighting."

Anakin's brow went up in curiosity, "It seems we both have the same agenda."

"Well, as the Grand Jedi Master, I'd better have some sort of agenda at this point," Luke answered with a sheepish scowl. Anakin nodded wordlessly as his eyes scanned the many podiums floating in the chamber.

"Chief of State Deris," A rodian was snarling, "Do you or do you not have a response to the allegations that there is a traitor among us?"

"I have no reason to believe such allegations," Deris replied with a firm shake of his head. "It is proper that we trust one another in a situation like this, correct?"

"Only when you strongly believe that everyone warrants that trust," Luke said, standing up and approaching his podium. All eyes turned to face Luke in stunned silence.

"The council recognizes Grand Jedi Master Luke Skywalker," Deris stated with a hint of icy resentment. Anakin didn't miss it and made sure to burn the sound into his ears for later. From the look on his uncle's face, Luke hadn't missed the sound either.

"Yes, finally you do," Luke said curtly, "I think everyone here would like to know why my nephew called this council meeting." He cast a look back at Anakin, who mentally understood that his uncle was supporting him now. "For months now we have been chasing a murderer known to us as Xillanor. For months now we have been trying to attempt to find and capture this killer but to no avail. Why? Because we do not have the resources?" Luke shook his head, "We have the resources. We have no willpower or rather our leaders do not have the willpower and knowledge on this killer to track him down. But I do."

All eyes were now completely focused on Luke as he faced the audience. Anakin watched his uncle and then the hairs on the back of his neck twitched as he heard a barely audible _click_ from the far side of the council chamber. If it weren't for his heightened sense of hearing due to the force, Anakin would have missed it, but he hadn't. He knew something was wrong about this meeting. Everyone was being far too cooperative.

Anakin glanced up for a split second before he saw the beam of light streaming across the chamber. He leapt up, only to catch the next blast on his own arm and hear the yell escape his lips.

* * *

Kirk cursed his weak body as he jumped out of the airspeeder in front of the council building. Something was wrong and he couldn't tell what it was. It had something to do with the kidnapping attempt he'd just been through and now he knew that the real problem was at the council meeting Anakin Solo had just called. Someone knew he was going to call it or rather orchestrated it to happen.

Someone had forced Anakin Solo to call a meeting and Kirk had a sinking feeling that he knew why. The hairs on his arm stood up and he stopped in his tracks.

"I'm too late."

* * *

Luke looked up and for a brief second saw the horrified faces of the council members on the podiums around him. His chest burned and Luke could feel himself shivering a little. When had the room gotten so cold? He had to remember to ask someone to turn the air conditioning off.

Luke pressed his fingers against his robe, hoping to quell the burning sensation. Funny, he didn't remember being sick. He brought his fingers up and looked at them. They were completely red and dripping. Luke could feel the fear and worry coming from those in the room and the distant cries of his sister, Leia. She had felt his pain. She worried too much.

Luke smiled and his chest burned again. He could feel himself falling to the floor but even his force healing technique could not stop him. He let out a low groan as a pair of hands grasped him.

"Uncle Luke, Uncle Luke!"

Luke could barely make out who was in front of him, he was so blurry, he could only feel the force presence. "Anakin."

"Uncle Luke, we're getting help." Anakin's frantic voice came. Luke's vision slid further out of focus so Anakin was now a silhouette. All he could hear were Anakin's words and soon they were joined by those of Corran Horn.

"Anakin. You need to choose a new Grand Jedi Master. I can already sense the force is ready to take me… Anakin…" Luke's vision then went.

"Luke, come on, this isn't the time to be talking like that." Corran tried to feel Luke through the force but was only getting part of his presence. Corran gritted his teeth. "Luke, we'll take a vote… I… will make sure it happens."

Luke couldn't respond, his mouth and joints were heavy and he couldn't feel anything. Only the fading sounds of people running into the room. It was still very cold, Luke couldn't remember the last time it had been this cold or quiet. It was nice. Luke's face spread in a smile.

Silence drifted into the room as Corran held Luke's form, he had moved his platform so it was next to Luke's. Meanwhile chaos was beginning to erupt around the chamber as the assassin bolted. At that moment, Deris made his first action as the Chief of the New Republic.

"Commence Operation Tendra!" He commanded and white armored soldiers appeared at all the exits. Corran cursed inwardly and drew his lightsaber along with the other Jedi now gathered around Luke Skywalker. He was trembling and his head couldn't stop shaking. Other Jedi came over and made a circle around the limp form of Luke Skywalker. Some, who were closer to Luke, knelt next to Corran. Henry Horn, Kenth Hammer, Cilghal, and Tionne who had felt Luke's pain from across the chamber, had come and were now standing there in complete silence as Corran laid Luke on the floor of the platform. He ignited his blade and raised it in salute. The others followed in suit raising their blades in tribute to the still form before them.

* * *

Wynn couldn't believe that once again her first boyfriend and the first real friend that she'd ever made, was now the victim of his second kidnapping and she didn't even know why. She gave a derisive snort as she climbed out of her ship and started down the walkway to the palace.

It only took her a moment to notice that something was off. Here she was coming home without any prior notification and already she could see her older brother, Jag, running towards her.

"Wynn! What are you doing here?" He demanded as he caught up to her. She gave him what she really felt was a duly deserved strange look for his demand.

"I live here, remember?" She said as she folded her arms across her chest. "Or did you forget because I'm never home?" Jag seemed to not be paying attention because he wasn't looking at his sister at all and cast a furtive glance behind him before grabbing her arm and dragging her inside of the palace and behind a wall.

Jag, what-?" Wynn began but Jag covered her mouth with his hand as a squad of white armored soldiers ran past. Wynn's eyes went wide and her heart began to race. What was going on? As soon as the soldiers had passed, Jag let go of his sister's mouth.

"Okay, Jag," Wynn said, glaring at her brother despite her own fear, "You are now going to explain to me why the kriff we have to hide in our own palace?"

Jag looked at his sister, his green eyes finally showing a vulnerability that Wynn never thought she'd see. "We need to go, I'll explain on the way." Jag stated and then pressed a blaster in his sister's hands along with a blaster-proof vest. She looked at her brother with questioning fear in her eyes but with a nod from Jag, all her doubts were dashed as they bolted down the hallway. Whatever was going on, she was about to find out for herself.

**A/N- Sorry to leave off on such a dramatic note, but the way I planned out the next few chapters, this seemed to be the best stopping point. The next one will be up tomorrow, so hang in there until then! =) **


	61. Tempest

**Chapter 60**

**Tempest**

_A/N- Hey! It's good to be back. I'm trying to plug out these chapters as quickly as possible so I can end this series and start on the new one (and probably work on my other stories for a while so I can get a short break from this series-not too long, mind, I'm too into it to take too long off). _

_I must apologize to anyone who liked Luke as a character (which is everyone who likes SW I think) but I have my reasons. The next series will be a series that will attest to that statement. So hang in there, because this isn't over yet and I have many good things planned for the next series and all those following it. I'm even working on the storyline for a series about Kirk Dekim and his adventures pre-Namesake Trilogy. It should all be good. _

_Enjoy the chapter and please vote in the poll if you haven't already! _

_Noodles,_

_-Don ^_^_

_

* * *

_

The chaos that followed the fatal blasts that had killed Luke Skywalker was the worst level of violence that the New Republic had seen within the deep confines of its very own halls and council. Other leaders began yelling insults and then the Jedi gathered for the council meeting had already begun to battle the white armored troopers now firing on the council members.

With an infuriated roar, Anakin Solo leapt the divide between his platform and the nearest boarding entrance for the platforms. He landed in a crouching position and slowly rose to his feet, flames starting to crackle from his hands as he slashed down on the two troopers in his path. He could see the retreating form of the assassin. It wasn't hard since the assassin was the only one running away from the scene of the death instead of towards it.

Anakin stuck out his hand and shot a crackling flame that wrapped itself around the retreating assassin. The killer tripped and fell, and Anakin was sure that he heard a crack as the culprit's nose smashed into the floor, breaking it. Bur Anakin Solo was beyond caring. He jumped and landed in front of the fallen assassin and his blue eyes fixated on the hood covering the figure's face. Anakin grasped the fabric and threw it back, only to stall his wrath with a moment of shock.

The assassin took that moment to knock Anakin backwards and then drew a lightsaber from his cloak. The Bothan's face was unmistakable. "Your father would be ashamed." Anakin stated as he glared at the sturdy form of the only Bothan in the New Republic council that Anakin still retained some respect for: Colonel Gallender Bel Iblis.

"My father would be a lot of things if he kept his talents for himself," Iblis stated, "Unlike he, I am a force sensitive warrior with the brains and talent to become more than just a pawn in the New Republic."

Anakin's insides burned and he felt some sympathy for the Bothan's misinterpretation, "The only thing you'll get from serving Xillanor or any of those guys is years of hard work and service and then you find out you're disposable."

"Ha," Gallender snarled, "You're only saying that because you don't know what we've already accomplished. I was the catalyst! I set everything in motion! I drugged Queen Tenel Ka's meal and I lead the attack on your foolish brother!" Gallender's eyes flared with pride, "I was offered the position of Grand Admiral when the new Empire would be formed! I killed Luke Skywalker and I killed Kyp Duron!" He grinned with all the insanity that a killer could muster, "If anyone should feel sorry for anyone, I should feel sorry for you, Anakin Solo."

Anakin scowled, "Why?"

"Because you're serving a sinking ship. Soon you'll be up to your waist in water and you'll still try to plug all the holes. Then everyone will abandon you there. You missed your chance to join us, now you're stuck with being the angry nephew of a dead has-been-" Gallender's further comments were cut off because Anakin blasted him with fire and the former Colonel of the New Republic collapsed, only to be surrounded by a squad of white armored troopers, who opened fire to cover the traitor's escape. Anakin turned as a blast struck him in the shoulder. Five more squads of troops had arrived and were opening fire on the Jedi, who were trying to carry Luke's body from the council room.

Anakin bolted over and landed between the attacking squads and those carrying his fallen uncle. "Go!" He yelled and stuck out his hand, sending out flames that burned the armor down to the flesh and sent all the troops scrambling for cover. Anakin let out a yell before he set on the troops with his lightsaber, slashing and cutting as his body glowed with the force and its flames.

Corran turned his head to look at his former student and with a lingering dark stare, he turned away to cover the escape of the rest of the council members.

Deris let out a triumphant yell as he charged through the halls, cutting down all the council members in his path. No had guessed that he and Iblis were dark Jedi found by Uldir to serve the new Imperial uprising. Now that the New Republic's own council was at his mercy, Deris felt all his pent up anger strike down member after member.

As he approached the open hallway, he stopped, his lightsaber halted in mid-strike. There in the center of the hallway was Corran Horn, his lightsaber in his hand. Corran thumbed his saber to life and cast aside his cloak as his glare fixated on the dark Jedi.

"You should really be going after Iblis," Deris stated as he removed his own cloak. Corran raised his lightsaber and his eyes burned with anger that rivaled that of Anakin's.

"I don't need to look any further to know that the killer of my son is right in front of me," Corran stated and then charged slashing down on his opponent without mercy. Deris balked and then tried without much luck to deflect the blows raining down on him.

"Your son? I didn't kill anyone!" Deris cried and then struck back, scoring a blow on Corran's shoulder, which the skilled Jedi ignored.

"You allowed the Peace Brigade free reign and you manipulated Ta'a Chume into attacking Yavin 4, a pure ground for raising Jedi, which-you-hate!" Corran emphasized his last three words with his blows and then his blade finally sliced straight through the skin and bone of the rough scale-like skin of Deris' arm. A second later the arm dropped to the floor. Corran thumbed off his blade and then punched the alien, causing him to drop to the ground.

"That's more mercy than a scumbag like you deserves," Corran stated and then kicked Deris before walking back towards the main fight. Deris groaned and blinked as he saw the black robed figure standing over him. He shivered and then moaned.

"Master," He pushed himself up as something took hold of his throat. "Ack-Mm-master…"

"Your pitiful mind block let Corran Horn see more than he should have," The robed figure said, tightening his grip on Deris' throat through the force. "A fool like you deserves to die immediately," The figure then released the force choke and Deris dropped to the ground.

"If you want to survive, Apprentice Deris, you must hone your skills," The figure stated and then nodded to the other cloaked figures standing behind him. "Otherwise you will be disposed of like your useless brother, Delaris."

Deris jawed for a moment and then scowled at the robed figure, "How did you know he was my brother?"

"Your mind," The figure stated. "You leave it open like a book, Pupil Mine. If you wish to live, I suggest you start blocking it from everyone." Deris clenched his jaw. He'd put his brother on the council to protect him and it had done the exact opposite. It had left Morgue Delaris, Deris' foster brother, in plain view and wide open to the wrath of Xillanor. It was strange that Xillanor was less merciful than his master. "Prove to me that you're not an idiot like your brother and you may live to see the end of your training."

The robed figure then turned away as the other figures drew lightsabers and ignited their blood red blades and rushed past Deris, who lay waiting as the stretcher carried by white armored troops approached, anger coursing through his veins.

* * *

A silence filled the Solo home after Leia went to her room crying. Jaina exchange looks with Zekk. They too had felt it. The cold feeling had come to just about every Jedi in the New Republic. No one knew what to say. The one person that no one had expected to die was now dead. The great hero of the Rebel Alliance was gone. Not even the holo broadcast could say anything. It wasn't some story to just talk about and then forget. Luke Skywalker had been the icon of the age, the Jedi who could bring anyone to their feet and to stand against the evils of the galaxy, whether it was the dark side or the Yuuzhan Vong, Luke had been there to see that they were defeated. Now in their moment of peace and quiet, a tremor of cold silence went through the entire galaxy.

The Holo-News was broadcasting the newest story on the massive overrun of the New Republic by stormtrooper-esc soldiers and their mysterious cloaked leaders with red lightsabers. "These force users appear to be Jedi, are they angered by Luke Skywalker's death and are taking revenge? Can we trust the Jedi?"

"Turn that damned thing off," Zekk muttered and Jaina obliged, looking after him as he walked into the kitchen and started making himself some coffee even though he still had a full cup on the table where they had been sitting. Jaina herself felt drained but couldn't bring herself to eat anything, let alone drink anything. She was having a hard time just thinking in general.

Zekk had taken the blow of Luke's death personally since Luke had proved to be the combination of a father and uncle that Zekk had never had. Jaina was sure that many of the Jedi from Yavin 4 felt the same way.

Each planet that knew Luke and was just hearing the stunned silence spreading now had nothing more to do than just look up at the stars and think that there had to be someone else who could stand in his place. Someone had to. What would they do once someone else stood to give evil a hand? Luke was dead at the moment were evil had crept back and because of that new threat, Luke was dead.

Han went into their bedroom to find Leia in a fetal position in the corner near the window.

"Princess?" He came over and put a hand on her shoulder. He knew something had happened but no one would tell him.

"Han… Luke's dead." She croaked. Han's eyes went wide and he sat down hard, his legs had given out. He punched the wall and cursed loudly then he stammered "Damn it, why the kid?"

Leia shook her head, too numbed to say anything. Han sat up against the wall for a moment then got up and left the apartment. Only one place would serve for a moment like this. She got up as the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Leia, sorry to bother you." Corran Horn's coarse voice said.

"Please, Corran. You're never a bother, what can I do for you?" Leia said, surprised that he'd called her by her formal name. Corran was an old friend of Luke's. Not only that, Valin Horn, Corran's son, had been a close friend of Anakin's from the Academy on Yavin 4.

"My condolences for your loss. I was there when Luke died." Corran said. Leia's mind was still in shock but she remained standing by sheer willpower to not cave in. "I don't think anything I say will help so I won't talk for too long. But I do have a last request from Luke."

* * *

Anakin had gone back to his and Tahiri's apartment in a stupor. He had no idea how long he had been lying on the couch before he started feeling the weight of the death hit him. Anakin's head suddenly had earsplitting pain and he clamped his hands over his head and slumped to the ground. Tahiri who had been in the other part of their apartment came over as soon as she felt Anakin's pain.

"Anakin? What's wrong?" She came over and kneeled next to him. Anakin's face was scrunched up and something was leaving him in the force. But he couldn't tell because he'd been so far away from home for a long time. What was going on?

"Anakin, talk to me."

"Uncle Luke's…" Anakin managed. Tahiri's face contorted. "It was Colonel Iblis…" Anakin opened his eyes and stood up. Tahiri looked at him carefully, clearly worried that he might fall over again or that he might start thrashing in his sleep like he had been when he came home.

Anakin then turned his head as his holo-message alert beeped. Anakin went over and pressed the button to see his mother's face with red beneath her eyes and obvious feelings of anguish flowing through the force despite their distance.

He abruptly sat up as his holo communicator beeped. He picked it up. It only took Anakin a moment to recognize the voice of Corran Horn on the other end.

"Anakin, Luke's last words were about you." Corran stated. Anakin's head snapped to look briefly at Tahiri before focusing on the window. His blue eyes getting wider by the second, he knew what Corran was getting at, but Anakin wasn't having it, Corran continued as if he hadn't sensed Anakin's opposition to his words. "And he wanted us to vote on a Grand Jedi Master," You need to come to Yavin 4. We all need to be together and you're being summoned by the council. I think you might become the next Grand Master." Corran's stern statement did little to convince Anakin that he should obey the request.

"You're also being charged with the use of force fire," Corran stated. Anakin opened his mouth and then shut it. "Everyone saw you use it at the council building and now we can't argue with the proof. You might lose, Anakin," Corran stated. Anakin's insides twisted. It was just one bad thing after another. First Jacen was killed, then Kam, then Kyp, and now Luke was dead and the New Republic was falling apart by the hinges. Finally Anakin was on the verge of being kicked out of the Jedi Order.

"You should come, Anakin. It'll prove that you still want to amend yourself," Corran's voice held a sense of pleading that Anakin never thought he'd hear from the older Jedi. _Uncle Luke had been right about everyone needing to stick together now,_ Anakin thought. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he responded.

"I will." He said. Corran breathed an audible sigh of relief and with the words, "I'm sorry, Anakin. Your uncle was the best Jedi I'd ever met, "Corran signed off. Anakin turned off the holo-message system and sat back down on the couch. Tahiri was looking at him; he leaned forward and rubbed his eyes as she sat down next to him.

"If you need some time alone, I'll be in the other room." Tahiri said and made to leave. Anakin shook his head.

"I'd rather just sit here with you. It's all sinking in. If we can just-" He couldn't get his words out but as was usual of their friendship, Tahiri knew what he was going to say.

"We don't need to talk, Anakin. I'll be right here." They sat up against the wall in silence, Anakin with his knees spread out and Tahiri sitting cross legged beside him. The whole feeling of the loss was just coming to him now. His Uncle was gone: his mentor, his friend and his family, all gone. Tahiri probably felt hurt too, his uncle had been her teacher too.

Anakin could feel the cold spreading. The place in the force where his uncle had once resided was empty. Now the energy flowed freely to somewhere else. Anakin's heart was breaking. He couldn't stop his family from being hurt. He didn't know who this assassin was and moreover he was just a teenager trying to be the adult he expected himself to be. When did being a teenager involve so much hurt? How could he hope to deal with this?

Anakin's body rocked back and forth then was doubled over in small sobs. Anakin could feel Tahiri's support flowing through their bond and he couldn't thank her because he was almost completely muted by the loss of how he could begin to explain his insecurities to her.

Tahiri squeezed Anakin's hand, hoping he knew she was there with him. She got the feeling he did. He never had to say anything and she just knew. Right now she felt that he couldn't make out any sense of the tragedy that had happened and he was crying because he was confused. She felt the confusion more than any emotion surrounding Anakin's thoughts. He suddenly paused as something dawned on him.

He still had one last hope.

* * *

Because of the attacks on the Jedi and the New Republic, Cilghal insisted on treating Kirk at his apartment and all the Jedi were now gathered in the same apartment building, monitored by Jedi and loyal New Republic soldiers. Even that was little comfort to Kirk as he lay immobilized on his bed, an IV running through his arm. He was still unsure of how they would manage to wrest the New Republic back from the dark Jedi, if there was anything to win back.

Kirk sighed and he resigned to staring up at the ceiling, not that he could do much else with the way his injuries reacted to his sudden break from the hospital. Though not breaking away could have had much worse results, the fact still remained that Kirk's injuries had been far from healed and now they were going to take longer to heal completely. If he were honest, he'd say that he was beyond hope and that he really wanted to give up right now and just die while he still had the chance to do it in a semi-peaceful fashion.

The only problem blocking that option could be summed up in two words: Natie Renders. Not only did she cause his insides to twist in ways even he didn't know were possible and he was sure that the twisting was anything but healthy, she also sent his brain into an irreversible tizzy that only could be woken up by her hand touching him or her kisses and those did nothing to calm the burning in his heart.

He couldn't stand how pathetic and idiotically love-struck he was around her. He was supposed to be Kirk Dekim: the fearsome former covert ops Jedi whose life had been spent killing people and aliens without remorse. He was a brutal killer and a skilled fighter who never listened to anyone, even his best friend, Kam, and teacher, Luke Skywalker. He never let anyone close to him, not even Nina had been that close, and when she had, she'd died and left Kirk with an irreversibly shattered heart and soul. He'd lost all sense of time and emotion. He didn't want to be part of the world anymore and had vanished for a decade as if to attest to that wish. Kirk didn't do "love-struck." Or at least he thought he didn't until he met Natie. His cold and uncaring demeanor become endearing and caring as it had ever been, if not more so.

He tensed slightly as he sensed her presence approaching the room. He wasn't sure how to act around her anymore and it annoyed him to no end. He wasn't used to be this disconcerted and confused. It didn't help matters any that he was in a state of vulnerability due to the fact that his master from his Academy years, Luke Skywalker, had just been killed.

"You should be sleeping," Natie said, folding her arms across her chest, "Or so Cilghal told me. Is this part of you being rebellious or are you just being stubborn?"

"Both," Kirk said in a huffy tone. Natie raised her eyebrow and sighed when Kirk declined to comment on his answer.

"Alright," Natie said in an unusually agreeable tone and sat down on the end of the bed, leafing through one of the books that Kirk had set aside since he hadn't felt much like reading at the moment.

"Aren't you going to ask me something about how I'm feeling right now? Isn't that what people do when someone dies?" Kirk asked in a partly cold and partly confused tone.

Natie didn't look up as she continued to read through the book, "No, I think most of the time asking someone before they're ready is unproductive." Natie lifted her gaze to look at Kirk then as he hadn't made any response, "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shrugged, "I'm not sure what to say. I should be feeling devastated right now, but all I feel is this numb feeling that keeps all the emotions away. I don't know how to feel about these things anymore."

"You mean deaths?" Natie questioned. Kirk nodded.

"Yeah," He replied and continued to stare blankly at the sheets on his bed. Natie set the book down on the bed and came over to sit right next to where Kirk was lying.

"You're in shock, Kirk," Natie said gently, "It's normal to feel that way when someone dies. Just because you've lost more than anyone should, doesn't mean you feel it any less than others do."

"Really? Because I killed so many people without feel a single thing," Kirk stated angrily, "I didn't feel anger, sympathy, empathy, or even hate towards those people. I didn't have any feelings towards them whatsoever and I still killed them. I couldn't care less who they were and I still murdered them in cold blood."

"You're not a murderer, Kirk, we've been over this," Natie said firmly, squeezing his hand. Kirk blinked again as if he'd been daydreaming and really looked at Natie. He took in her glittering eyes and her bright chestnut colored hair. "If you're anything, you're an overly loving idiot."

"Overly loving idiot?" Kirk raised his eyebrow at her new nickname for him. "Am I missing something?"

"Apparently," Natie said with a wry smile and then smiled warmly as Kirk reached over to bring her hand onto his chest, grasping it tightly, but just gently enough for it to not be painful. "When are you going to see what I see?"

"That depends on what you're seeing," Kirk said with a smile. Natie touched Kirk's cheek with her hand and then cupped his chin as she kissed his cheek. Kirk could feel his face burning up as he blushed furiously.

"I see a teenage boy behind all the fronts you try to put up who never got the chance to show the galaxy who he really was," Natie said, "I see a boy who lost his parents too young to remember what it's like to have a real family and I see someone who just wants to be loved."

"That much?" Kirk asked, stunned. "How could you tell that much just by looking at me?"

Natie shrugged, "Let's just say it's Women's Intuition."

"Women's what?" Kirk questioned.

Natie shook her head, "Never mind."

"No, I want to know what you meant," Kirk insisted. Natie laughed and kissed him for a minute before leaving him speechless.

"Just leave it, Kirk, it's okay if you don't get it," Natie said and then gave his hand one more quick squeeze before standing up. "Now you need to get your sleep, you hear?"

Kirk gave a snort and then muttered, "Fine." Natie smiled to herself and stifled a laugh as she left the room. He really was a teenage boy underneath.

* * *

Wynn rolled and fired a shot into the white armor of what she was sure was a stormtrooper. Only she knew that stormtroopers had long since been killed off since the end of the Empire more than two decades ago. She wasn't sure why there was still stormtrooper armor still being manufactured and where it was coming from. So many questions were popping into her head and she couldn't think about the answers much as she tried to avoid being hit by the blasts coming from the stormtroopers.

"Damnit," She cursed and blasted another trooper down before moving to the next one. Jag was beside her, firing off consecutive shot after shot and was taking down more troopers faster than Wynn could count. She had to admit her brother was something akin to a sharpshooter at least, if not more. He was the elite of the soldiers fighting the stormtroopers, not that she could see any. Why weren't there any Chiss soldiers fighting the stormtroopers.

"Let's go," Jag's arm quickly dragged Wynn abruptly off to the side and behind a wall as several blasts struck the place they had been moments before. Jag cast a furtive glance before he pulled Wynn across the hall and into the nearest room, and slammed the door to the sounds of blaster fire.

"Now are you going to tell me what's going on?" Wynn demanded. Jag caught his breath and looked at his sister, his eyes filled with an unusual fear that never appeared on the faces of any of the Chiss royalty or any Chiss period. She blinked in surprise when Jag let out a sigh. He was definitely different from the Jagged Fel she'd known all her life.

"The Chiss Ascendency has been overrun by the same dark Jedi that have overthrown the New Republic council. They were planning this all along and many Chiss are on the side of the dark Jedi. Because of that, our homeland is the new ground for cloning more troops for the Empire," Jag explained. Wynn scowled.

"What about dad? Isn't he against this kind of thing?" Wynn asked and Jag nodded.

"He is, but he is the minority. He knew he would be if it came to this, so we have no choice but to leave here," Jag stated and opened the door a crack and fired a shot through the crack. A thudding noise told Wynn that Jag's shot had hit its target.

"Leave?" Wynn repeated, "We can't just leave! If they're taking over, we have to fight them!" Wynn grabbed her blaster and started toward the door but Jag pulled her back down to where he was crouched, keeping a firm grip on her arm as he stared harshly into her eyes.

"No, dad will do what he needs to and you need to trust him," Jag cast a wary glance backwards as voices sounded through the wall. Two seconds later a thumping noise sounded against the wall and then a loud _boom _sent the wall into pieces all over the room. Stormtroopers poured through the broken wall and immediately turned their blasters on the two Fel children as they crouched together.

"There they are!" The lead trooper yelled and pointed at the two children. The other troops opened fire and Jag threw open the door and pulled Wynn through, dodging the fire of the troops on the other side. Two blasts struck Jag in the arm and another hit Wynn in the leg. She held in a cry and then dived off to the side as Jag took out the troops in their path to the next point of cover.

Wynn caught her breath and finally took in the pain of her injured leg. Jag turned his head and moved her hands. "Let me see that," He reached into his pack and took out a bandage that he quickly wrapped around her leg. "Now we need to get going," He helped her to her feet and then they ran for the next hallway, only to see the open door to their father's office. The Baron was standing there, facing the window as he looked out at the scenery. He was clad in full armor and he turned slightly as he saw his two children. He nodded to Jag, who nodded back, before pulling his sister away just as the wall exploded and troops poured into the room. Wynn pulled back, trying to get back to her father and out of the corner of her eye she saw him pull out grenades and a minute later the entire room exploded in flames and debris. Wynn then allowed herself to be tugged away as she saw that the whole room was covered in rubble. Her father was dead.

"Wynn, we need to hurry," Jag urged and Wyn finally collected herself enough to continue running with her brother towards the nearest exit. As soon as they were out, Jag began to lead Wynn towards the docking bay. He fired shots behind them at the troops as they jumped on their speederbikes and tailed after the two kids. Jag covered his sister as he threw a grenade and the street exploded, leaving them enough time to run for the docking bay.

Once inside, Jag walked up to the nearest ship and keyed in the code to open the door. He then turned to Wynn. "Get in." Shouts from the streets and clomping of boots neared the doors to the docking bay as Wynn stared at her brother.

"After what we just saw, I can't just run away!" Wynn finally blurted. Jag scowled and pulled her over to the door to the ship.

"Dad died so we could get out of here, Wynn, don't waste this!"

"We can still fight, Jag, or are you too scared to?" Wynn demanded and earned a pained grimace from her brother. For a moment they glared at one another. Wynn and Jag had never gotten along. They were too different and in all the ways that made it hard to talk to one another, let alone stay in the same rooms together. Wynn was tom-boyish and rebellious and Jag was obedient and stiff necked. He never went against orders, even now, when it was clear to Wynn that they should be staying and fighting, he was obeying their father's last orders to leave Chiss Space.

"I'm trying to do what's best for you for once," Jag stated and the doors to the docking bay banged open as ten squads of troops poured into the docking bay. Jag shoved Wynn into the ship's open door and opened fire on the troops.

"Jag!" Wynn yelled and poked her head out long enough to get hit in the side of the head by a blast. Jag let out a roar and slammed his fist on the door to the ship to close it. Then he set on the other troopers. He blasted them all without halting his onslaught. He then took a blast to his side and then his chest. Then a stun bolt struck him and Wynn woke up at that moment to see that Jag was now stun cuffed and the ship she was on was on auto-pilot.

"Damnit, Jag," She cursed and stumbled into the cockpit and tried to reverse the auto-pilot, but the docking bay doors were already opening and the last thing she saw before the ship disappeared into hyperspace was Jag's unconscious form being dragged, bleeding and beaten up out of the docking bay.

**A/N- Only two or three more chapters, maybe less until the end of this series. =) Thanks for reading. **


	62. Last Hope

**Chapter 61**

**Last Hope**

_A/N- Wooo! I am on a roll! *Jumps up abruptly to pump fist and falls sideways off chair* I'm okay… I think. _

_Anyways, I am moving towards wrapping up the "Namesake Trilogy" officially (but it will, as I've said before, continued in the next series, so the intro/prologue for that will be up soon as well). I think this will be the second to last chapter (because I'm pretty much done with the material I had planned for the "Namesake Trilogy"- the rest will be covered in the next series and those to follow). _

_I've greatly enjoyed writing this series and I didn't think it would last this long. No, seriously, I had only planned on having this be only one story long and it turned into a series that will continue until I run out of ideas or I die because angry fans have found me (whichever comes first). _

_So… yeah. Not much else to say. I did watch "An Affair to Remember" if anyone cares what I've been doing. It was great, though I can't watch it without thinking about "Sleepless in Seattle." *Shrugs*_

_This series will leave off on a TBC kind of note, so don't feel thrown off if it feels like it could have been continued (because it will). _

_I think that covers everything. Oh! I'm definitely working on trying to get my ideas together for the next chapter of "Remember" so look for updates on that too. Once I'm done with this series, I'll work on getting that rolling again. I've had it on hiatus for a long time because I honestly started the story without actually thinking about a distinct conflict (bad idea). Now that I have one, I'll be able to successful formulate a storyline for the story to follow. Granted, it won't be as long as the "Namesake Trilogy" since it'll only be one story long, but I'll let it be as long as it needs to in order to finish smoothly. _

_Okay, NOW that covers everything. Ha, ha. I need to start agreeing with myself more. Agree to disagree and chaos will ensue! _

_-Don the Nut ^_^_

_

* * *

_

Luke's funeral was a private ceremony held only with select Jedi and family members, and even then, the gathering was small due to the fact that most of the Jedi were currently convening on Yavin 4 to discuss the new course of action that the Order should be taking. This left Leia, Han, Mara, Ben, and Tenel Ka with her two children. Several Noghri and Vua Rapuung stood off to the side, watching over their charges without blinking once.

Anakin, Zekk, and Jaina had gone off to Yavin 4 for the meeting and Leia fidgeted restlessly in her chair. Her brother had just been killed and already her two remaining children were off trying to fix the problems that had resulted because of Luke's death. Problems that he was beginning to solve before he was killed, but were halted and all efforts dashed because no one in the New Republic was willing to talk to one another after the attack. There was also a new power that had risen from the attack that was now calling itself "The Galactic Alliance," an organization composed of the dark Jedi, stormtroopers, the Chiss Ascendency, and some renegade members of the New Republic who had sided with Korsk Deris. The Chief of State had gone missing after the attack and there were many questions circulating as to whether or not the leader had died during the violence. Leia know he wasn't dead. She hadn't seen him alive but a gut feeling was telling her that his treachery was far from over.

As Master K'tar finished giving his eulogy, all the gathered Jedi and members of Luke's family stood up respectively to pay their respects to his grave. Then Han, Leia and Mara stepped forward as K'tar lifted the torch and set fire to the funeral pyre. As the flames crackled and towered into the sky, all three turned their gaze skywards as the smoke spiraled through the cloudless sky. There was a clear sky, yet no one would be able to appreciate it. Not today.

Mara frowned as she stared into the flames that were consuming her life partner's lifeless body. She had heard from Luke that he had tried to vouch for Anakin to the council before Luke had gone to the New Republic to make his report. He had planned to speak on his nephew's behalf to the other Jedi on the high council, but now that Luke was gone, no one had enough power to move the council. Anakin was on his own to face the flames that were now licking at the foundations of the Jedi Order.

There was no stopping time from moving forward or the past from repeating itself. Anakin Solo was truly on his own against the judgment of almost everyone around him. Mara clenched her fists and stared into the flames until long after they had died down to embers and the ashes had been buried and some handed to Mara in a box to scatter across Tatooine, Luke's home planet. He would have liked to have been buried there. Mara clutched the box and turned only when Ben tugged on his mother's robe.

"Mom," Ben's blue eyes were identical to his father's, though his hair was clearly that of his mother with a hint of Luke's own blonde, "It'll be alright. Dad's with the force." Mara nodded and placed a hand on her son's head.

"You're right, he is with the force," Mara said gently. But frowned as she thought to herself, _But is the force with us?_

_

* * *

_

"The high council of the Jedi Order is now in session," The rough voice of Edron Galarin, a man with hauntingly dark eyes and gray hair that was tied back in a tight ponytail. He was a fair judge as any and had come about during one of Luke's searches for new Jedi allies. He was well trained in the force as any, but he had no sway over the other members of the council.

Corran Horn sat with his feet on the desk, his unshaven face glaring at everyone around him as he lay back in his chair, his arms folded in defiance across his chest. Next to him sat his nephew, Henry Horn, who was quiet and sat with his hands resting on the table as he looked around him for a familiar face, finding none, he resorted to staring at the specks on the table's surface. Next to Henry sat Cilghal, and next to her, Tionne Solusar, who had replaced Kam willingly on the council at Luke's recommendation. That side of the table ended with the Jaina and Zekk, who had taken to folding his arms across his own chest and glaring at everyone with distrust. He still hadn't wanted to talk about Luke's death and he had a hunch that none of the members on the other side of the table cared that they were being inconsiderate by putting Luke's nephew, Anakin Solo, on trial. Jaina kept her eyes on her brother, who seemed to be using his every nerve to stay calm as he closed his eyes in a force calming technique. She wasn't happy that she had to watch as the council debated something as idiotic as Anakin's validity at a time like this.

Anakin stood in the front of the room by the door, waiting to be called upon to appear officially before the council. The other members on the opposite side of the table were all composed of mostly unfamiliar faces except for Kenth Hammer and Lloyd Duron, Kyp's son. It had come as a surprise to many of the members, especially the Solo children and Zekk, that Kyp had been married at all. But the truth remained that Kyp had had a quiet marriage a long time ago and had a son that was now 12. As he was the only representative that could stand in as family for Kyp, the twelve year old was now eyeing everyone nervously as he was the youngest Jedi there. His mother had only agreed to let him attend because it was what his father would have wanted. Jaina could only guess how much pain Kyp's untimely death had caused Lloyd and his mother. Jaina had only heard a few things about Kyp's wife, Souyra. The first was that Souyra had met Kyp not too long after his return to the Academy after having turned briefly to the dark side. They had met on one of Kyp's training journeys and kept in touch for many years after that. It wasn't until later that Kyp proposed and they had a quiet wedding on Tatooine, where the two had met for the first time.

The surprise at the revelation that Kyp had not only married, but had a son, was only short lived because the news had been revealed only because Kyp had been killed. As his death was announced, Lloyd and Souyra had shown up to claim his body. Jaina guessed that because of the attacks on Jedi, Kyp had decided to continue to keep his son and wife a secret for their own safety. His death only proved the unfortunate truth that his worries weren't unwarranted.

The rest of the council was composed of a mix of alien races and a few humans. They all whispered amongst themselves and cast wary glances at Anakin out of the corners of their eyes.

"Now," Edron said, drawing the attention of all the council members, "We have other business to attend to. But first things first," He turned to Anakin and nodded, "Anakin Solo, please approach the council."

Jaina tensed and Zekk squeezed her hand under the table. He gave her a comforting nod and they both watched as Anakin stepped in front of the long table of council members. "Anakin Solo," Edron continued, "You have been charged with the use of force fire, a dark force power forbidden for use by Jedi. You have also used this technique in plain view and used it to kill other living beings. Are these allegations true?" Edron's eyes fixated questioningly on Anakin. Edron was indeed a fair person, but Anakin couldn't deny the truth, everyone in the room would know it even if he did.

"They are," Anakin stated and the muttering began again until Edron held up a hand for silence. To the surprise of the council, Lloyd stood up and began to address the council.

"Anakin has used a technique that was not even recorded in the Jedi records. It was erased because the Empire feared its use against the Emperor," Lloyd turned his soft brown haired head to face the other members of the council, "You ask me how I know?" Lloyd scowled at all the members, "I know because my father researched it after witnessing Anakin use it. No one has been able to use it except for a select group of people," He looked then over at Tahiri, who sat at the far end of the table, "Namely a particular family."

"You mean to tell uz," A rodian questioned, "That thiz force technique only runs in the Veila family?"

Lloyd nodded, "Yes, it does. But Anakin somehow has it as well. Does anyone else find this to be somewhat interesting?" Lloyd grinned, making him look like a mirror image of his father, his brilliant golden brown eyes glowing with a passion and thirst for knowledge and wisdom. Tionne smiled at the boy. He was a prime candidate for becoming a new Jedi historian like Tahiri. "We have stumbled upon an anomaly for the first time in years and everyone is more concerned with whether or not it was forbidden to use. No one has used it since the Empire!" Lloyd slammed the table, "Anakin used it and killed people with it, yes, but I'm sure he had good intentions. He is the nephew of a man we all know is loving and protective by nature." Lloyd nodded to Anakin, who nodded his thanks back to the younger boy. Lloyd then sat down and the other council members fell into a silence as they thought over Lloyd's words.

"But the fact remains that he killed someone," A member spoke up, leaning forward. "Am I wrong in saying that Jedi should uphold the principle that killing is only necessary when defending those weaker?"

"This is a time of war," Kenth interjected, "I would like to hear what Anakin has to say on the subject." All eyes refocused on Anakin Solo then. He straightened considerably and then inclined his head to acknowledge Kenth for speaking up for Anakin.

"I used force fire mainly to help to fight against dark Jedi and Yuuzhan Vong during the war. But I can't deny that I did use it to kill living beings and that I used it in anger," Anakin looked apologetically over at his sister and Zekk, and then at Tahiri, who sat with a fearful, yet solemn look on her face. She too had known Anakin was going to come clean with his use of force fire, but that didn't make the situation any easier to bear as they didn't know how the council would react.

"This is dark force use we're talking about!" Another member say, pointing an accusatory finger at Anakin. "This shouldn't be a debate! If he used it, he should be responsible for it!"

"I agree," The rodian said with a nod. Kenth sighed and exchanged looks with Lloyd, who shrugged as if to say 'we tried,' and then made a face to say 'they're stupid anyways.' Jaina exchanged a worried look with Zekk, who shifted uncomfortably in his chair. Tahiri had continued to focus her attention on Anakin, and though he didn't show his discomfort and fear on the outside, she could fear it clearly through their bond. Jaina and Zekk felt it as well as they all were close together and had begun to share more with one another since their families were joined.

"The council will now discuss the verdict," Edron announced and he and the other members of the high council, who were all sitting on the opposite side of the table from Zekk and the others. The only other high council members on that side were Tionne and Corran, who stood up and was the first to leave, infuriation written all over his face. Henry swallowed. He was worried about his uncle's anger as much as the next person, but the expression that Corran was wearing when he left the New Republic council building, was burned irreversibly into Henry's mind.

_Anakin, _Tahiri said through their bond. Anakin turned his head slightly, knowing that she knew he was listening despite his own sense of foreboding that was creeping through his mind.

_I have a plan, I haven't lost hope yet, _Anakin stated, sensing her question before she voiced it. Tahiri gave him a questioning look to which he jerked his head to the door to indicate that he would wait to tell her his plan until after the verdict came in. The words did nothing to calm either of their nerves and as the door opened and Corran walked in and kicked his chair into the wall, both their hopes sunk into their stomachs.

All the members stood at their desks and Kenth and Lloyd remained sitting, averting their gazes as their eyes hid a quiet anger and defiance. "Anakin Solo," Edron said in a clear voice, "The request by your uncle, Luke Skywalker," Edron paused for a moment and then continued, "To pardon your use of force fire is hereby rejected by the council." It only took a moment for Zekk to get to his feet and it took both Jaina's grip and that of Tionne to prevent him from going over to all the high council members and throttling them. Jaina could feel the anger pouring out of Zekk's every surface and he wasn't bothering to hide the roiling emotions radiating out of him. "Your use of force fire has been ruled under 'Dark Force Techniques' and your misconduct in using this technique is irrefutable. You are therefore expelled from the Jedi Order and branded as a Dark Jedi under the code of the light side of the force," Edron straightened and stared harshly at Anakin, "If you choose to remain here, we will have no choice but to treat you as an enemy."

"What?" Zekk roared, "That's ridiculous! Anakin saved all of your asses during the Yuuzhan Vong war and fought more than any of you ever have!" He glared at all the members equally and then ground his teeth before seething inwardly.

"I understand," Anakin said and Zekk broke free of Jaina's grip to chase Anakin down as he made his way down the hallways of the Academy. He had missed this place since he'd left so many years ago and as he affectionately ran his hand over the wall, Zekk caught up with his friend.

"Just what the kriff are you doing letting them convict you like that?" Zekk demanded. Anakin turned his head with a faint smile on his lips.

"If I reacted badly that would only serve to prove their theories about me right," Anakin looked out at the jungle through the windows. "I have to wait until the moment is right for me to act."

"Now would be a fucking good time! I'm going back there to give them a piece of my mind!" Zekk protested and Anakin clapped his friend on the shoulder while shaking his head.

"No, Zekk," Anakin said gently, "Your anger would only get you kicked out as well. They're afraid of everyone now. Anyone who shows anger could be considered an enemy. It's only natural that they're reacting this way," Anakin sighed, "Please take care of Jaina." Anakin then turned on his heel and walked down the hallway and out of the Academy.

That was the last time anyone saw Anakin Solo set foot on Yavin 4.

* * *

The news of Anakin's expulsion had set off a chain reaction of arguments among the Jedi and it wasn't long before Corran, Lloyd, and several other Jedi resigned from the order altogether. They followed Anakin to his apartment where they found the young Jedi packing his things into a small bag.

"Anakin," Corran said as he leaned against the doorjamb. The younger Jedi smiled at Corran as he placed another set of robes into his bag.

"You didn't have to resign, you know," Anakin said with a sigh. Corran shrugged.

"They're all fools, Luke was the only one who could knock some sense into them," Corran noticed the twitch in Anakin's face at the mention of his uncle. "Where are you going?"

"Zenoma Sekot," Anakin replied simply. "There are some things I need to sort out before I leave the galaxy officially," He paused as he held his lightsaber in his hands, "Since Sekot isn't a planet on the map, I figured that I could stay there until I figure out where I'm going."

Corran looked at Anakin with a tired and anguished expression, "The galaxy needs you, Anakin." Anakin laughed.

"That's what everyone is telling me," He said with a smile, "But I know the force wants me to be elsewhere," He simultaneously zipped his bag up as he said the words and slung his bag over his shoulder. "It's time for me to vanish where I can actually be of use."

Corran nodded, "Fine. But let me come with you. I'm no good to this blasted galaxy anymore. No one listens to each other anymore and force knows I'm sick of looking away one second and then seeing another friend die when I turn back around," He gave a derisive snort and Anakin clapped his former teacher on the shoulder.

"You're welcome to come along, Corran, but I'm not going to a place where Jedi can return from," Anakin cast a glance at his room with a sad feeling of nostalgia. He had a lot of memories in this apartment and in this part of the galaxy that he would be leaving behind. Corran shrugged.

"I'm up for it and I think there are others who would follow you," Corran stated. Anakin nodded.

"Well, you know where to send them," Anakin said and then without another word he was gone. Corran stood in the now empty apartment, only now feeling the draft that had been hiding between the walls and furniture. The cold feeling that had been carefully swept under the rug while the galaxy played nice with everyone and pretended nothing was wrong. The time for pretending was over.

Their last hope was about to leave the galaxy and Corran was going to make sure he protected it.

**A/N- It was short, I know. But like I said before, I am just using up the remaining plot material that I have. There's only one chapter left in the series now, so please remember to vote in the poll if you haven't already and I will see you at the last chapter! =) **


	63. Safety in Solitude

**Chapter 62**

**Safety in Solitude**

_A/N- Well, Folks, here it is, the final chapter of "Life and the Force." I'm more than a little sad to say goodbye to this piece here and move on to the next series, but I have to say I'm not disappointed with how it turned out in the long run._

**Wishes R Shooting Stars: **Sorry for taking so long to respond (I can't send messages to your inbox, so I'm using this instead. I'm glad you like my quick updates. It might be a while before I load the first official chapter of the next series. But I will load the prologue/introduction today if I get the chance. Thanks for reading! =)

_As promised at the end of this chapter I will list everyone that helped make this series possible. You all know who you are, but I feel that you should be named. _

_I will also be posting the results of the OC poll at the end of this chapter as well, so no cheating! (I know all of you would just love to skip to end to see the results, but you have to read the chapter first!). Please?_

_Ha, ha. Just kidding, I don't care if you want to skip to the end to see the results of the poll. I have to say I'm proud of how my OCs turned out. I hadn't originally planned for them to be as crucial as the story as they turned out to be, but I'm satisfied with it either way. =) _

_Wow, this is a real landmark for me as a FFN writer. I recently passed my first full year anniversary of being a member of the site in June and now I'm about to conclude my longest running series (to date). _

_*Wipes tear* I'm so grateful to everyone for sticking with me! I hope you'll all keep reading the series to follow!_

_Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! _

_*Bows* _

_-Don "QuixoticQuest" ^_^_

_

* * *

_

Leia sighed as she leaned back in her chair. The situation with the New Republic had ended in a long anticipated split between all the members of the council and everyone decided to choose sides. In the end, The Galactic Alliance remained the strongest unified force and it sent all those remaining loyal to the New Republic into a silent stupor. No one really knew how to deal with the Galactic Alliance and its growing influence over the people.

Stormtroopers now marched through the streets of most major cities, including Coruscant and Leia wasn't sure how much longer it would be before the Galactic Alliance began to issue arrest warrants. The only thing she had found out to be good news is that Anakin was on an unknown planet, at least to the Galactic Alliance and most of the galaxy, including Leia, and that he was safely away from the fear mongers that now lead the Jedi Order.

All the Jedi still siding with the principles that Luke Skywalker had stood for had vanished into hiding and those that still remained in the open were scarcely seen in public except to make appearances to the Jedi Council.

Kenth Hammer had been one of the Jedi still loyal to Luke and he was getting a lot of flack at the council for it or so Leia had heard through Jaina and Zekk, who frequented to the council in order to put in their two cents: though as Zekk had often put it, the council was now "A Council of Idealistic Morons" instead of the Jedi Order that Luke had so carefully tried to form through years of hard work and sweat.

Leia had little new about her two children unless it was delivered through a direct source and even that was little comfort. She wasn't entirely sure what would become her family now that everyone was separating.

Mara continued to attend the council and continued to try to revive Luke's ideals in his stead. Leia didn't have the heart to tell Mara that even Leia Organa Solo had little hope left for the revival of the Jedi Order. None of the members seemed to agree on anything and it was clear from the moment that Anakin was expelled that none of them were interested in listening to reason.

"Leia?" Han poked his head into Leia's makeshift office that she'd made out of Jaina's room in their apartment. Since Jaina had moved out, Leia figured that she should make the best of the rooms and she couldn't bring herself to do anything to Jacen's room. It was still in the same untouched condition that it was while he was alive. Leia had only brought herself to entering it to clean off the dust from the top of his dresser and vacuum the carpet. She didn't want to touch the memories that were instilled in the room simply because the room had never changed. Leia knew that someday she'd have to let it go, maybe to give the room over to Valin, or to Rose. But for now, she wanted to hold on to the memories of her son as a young boy of fourteen who stayed in that room, playing with his latest pets and the occasional plants that he liked to bring in to study. Jacen had always had a naturally inquisitive mind that Leia knew she could never have in such a pure way. Her mind was far too practical. It was Jacen's impracticality that allowed him to explore the world without questioning what he discovered.

He would have made a good father. "Are you alright, Princess?" Han wrapped his arms around Leia's shoulders and she smiled, wiping her wet cheek.

"Just thinking," Leia said, knowing how unusual her response was. She would normally say something like "I'm fine" or "I need to get back to work." But today she wasn't feeling the normal energy that she used to focus on her work. It was both a sign of her worry and of the changes that were occurring within everyone. Nothing would be the same. She had know that for a long time, but it still made Leia wonder where she needed to go from now on.

"Nothing will be the same," Han said out loud and Leia nodded. Maybe she wasn't the only one who saw the changes happening constantly and now at a more rapid rate.

* * *

"I guess this is probably one of the last joys I'll get to see in this galaxy for a while," Syon K'tar said as he surveyed the two robed Jedi standing before him. They were on Yavin 4 and the sun was glowing down on them as if to give them warmth if only for this one moment. It was nothing, however, compared to the glowing light in the eyes of the two people looking at one another, hands clasped as they smiled shy smiles at one another.

"With the force as my guide, I now pronounce you life partners," K'tar said, inclining his head, "May the force be with you both and bring you many years of joy." He clapped both people on the shoulders before retreating to the Academy. The woman turned to watch K'tar disappearing.

"Do you think it was right," She questioned of the blonde haired man with bright green eyes standing before her. "For you to leave the order at a time like this, Kirk?"

"It's because it's a time like this that I had to," Kirk replied, kissing Natie on the lips. "We're better off going where Anakin is. He seems to know what he's doing." Kirk cast his gaze up a the trees. He had been in this clearing many times, yet every time he still felt entranced by it. He wasn't sure what it was that he wanted to do from now on except to stay with Natie and protect whatever life they would have together. It was simple, and yet it gave him a sense of belonging and purpose.

"Then we'll just have to trust that Anakin has the answers for all of us," Natie said with a sigh, "I just hope he doesn't collapse from everyone putting pressure on him."

Kirk smiled wistfully, "I'm sure he'll manage, he is Luke's nephew after all and if I know anything about his parents, I'd say they're all stubborn as a ronto."

Natie laughed, "I'll take your word for that," She said and kissed Kirk lightly on the lips before pulling him away from the clearing. "Come on, we have some packing to do before we leave for Zenoma Sekot."

"Right behind you," Kirk said and cast a last nostalgic look over his shoulder, before smiling to himself and following Natie back to the Academy.

* * *

In the short two weeks that Anakin had been on Sekot, he had learned a great deal more about the place than he had when he'd been there last. He spent more time meditating in the middle of the forest and listened to the wisdom of the living planet. It was strange, but Anakin found peace wherever he went on Sekot, which would normally have given him some sense of serenity but instead he found himself stressing over how little he knew about how to fix the mess the galaxy was in.

Anakin had taken to training often and had neglected to use his force fire since the attack on the New Republic. He had been thinking over where he could go from where he was and the only answer he could come up with was one that he kept pushing aside in hopes that there was another way, another solution, but nothing seemed forthcoming. He wasn't sure what the force wanted of him anymore and he was sure that it had fallen silent on purpose. He hated that about the force. It could be incredibly useful when you least needed it and when you needed it most, it was nowhere to be found.

Anakin grunted as he landed with a _thump _on the soft damp ground below the tree he was using to practice his force leaps as well as natural physical abilities. He needed to keep his body in top shape or he wouldn't be able to keep up with any of his opponents. He needed to be much stronger.

"Anakin!" He turned his head as he stood up to see Tahiri making her way over to him. She had been getting rounder and rounder as the weeks went by and it wouldn't be long, Anakin knew, before Kam was born. He smiled, pushing aside his thoughts about the galaxy for a moment as he came over to hug his best friend and life partner.

"Souyra wants us to come in for lunch," Tahiri said and grabbed Anakin's hand, leading him away from his training spot. He wasn't much in the mood to talk about the galaxy's problems as he'd been thinking about them all morning, so he let himself be lead back to the small home of Edo and his family. Henry, Mirax, and Corran Horn had all arrived on Zenoma Sekot not long after Anakin had and with them they brought a mixture of disturbing and joyous news: Mirax was pregnant and Jysella had been captured by stormtroopers. After her capture, both Mirax and Corran had lost all contact with their daughter through the force and had no way of telling if she was even alive.

Corran had spent so much time away from home that he hadn't known until recently that Mirax had been pregnant and the surprise had given him something to smile about despite the constant shadow that had been looming over his family since Valin's death. Anakin was happy for his former teacher and was glad that the man was starting to smile more.

Anakin was sure that the child would help to clear some of the clouds that were looming over all their heads, just as Kam would do the same for Anakin and Tahiri. Anakin's smile faded slightly despite the light conversation going around about names for Corran and Mirax's baby.

"You could name her Zana," Tahiri suggested, "It's a name that means 'joy' in the Sand People's tongue."

Corran thought about it and then Mirax spoke up, sensing Corran's answer before he could voice it, "I like that name. Zana." Mirax placed a hand on her belly and smiled warmly down at it. Corran smiled an unusually warm smile as he wrapped his arm around his wife's shoulders.

_You know where to find me. _The voice was as clear as if someone had spoken it out loud, but it was only in Anakin's face contorted and he quickly covered it with a smile and looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Then he stood up quickly and walked away from the small cave to the forest, leaning his back against a tree with a long sigh. He looked over at the trees and began to meander through it. As soon as he reached the heavily root and vine infested cave hidden by the forestry, he felt the tugging feeling that he'd only felt once before on Degobah.

He slowly removed his belt and dropped it on the ground outside before slowly stepping inside and immediately the previously dark cave glowed with a bright white light that slowly changed color once every minute or so. The cave glowed white once again and out of the dirt and mud walls emerged a blue figure. It was a woman with a slender and beautiful face and even though she was a glowing blue figure Anakin gathered from the texture of her hair and the way the brown color matched her hair, that that was her natural color.

"I usually recognize people when I have ghost visits," Anakin said with a wry smile. "Either I don't know you or you're someone I should know, but don't." Anakin looked at the woman more carefully, but before he could formulate an answer to his own question, she spoke.

"You wouldn't know me," She said, "But I know you because you share something in common with me."

Anakin frowned at those words and then folded his arms across his chest in a very "Tahiri" type expression of his confusion and defiance at the statement. "I think you've been dead longer than I've been alive."

The woman smiled and suddenly Anakin felt a sense of familiarity from the smile. Something about it seemed warm and friendly, as though she were closer to Anakin than he could ever fathom.

"I share something with you?" Anakin repeated. The woman nodded and her smile turned sad, an expression Anakin was all too used to seeing not only from the living, but from the dead that he'd seen as force ghosts.

"You never met me, but we share a name," The woman the brushed a lock of hair from her face and then it hit him. The face, the eyes, it was all clear.

"You're my grandmother," Anakin whispered.

* * *

King Janisor Kel could not have been more displeased. Not only had he lost his brother to the Baron's idiotic loyalty to the New Republic, but he had lost his chance to capture the only remaining member of the Fel family who could possibly be swayed into joining the royal family once more.

It was all because of his brother that Jag Fel was now a prisoner and a branded traitor to the Ascendency for fighting the Galactic Alliance's forces and resigning his position in the royal family on a whim. The king was angry.

No, Janisor Kel was furious.

He had lost his son to treachery and now he only had one nephew left who was loyal to the Chiss Ascendency, and even that was a flaky allegiance. Cem Fel had reemerged from his supposed "assassination" as a primary leader of the newly formed Galactic Alliance under the title of Grand Admiral. Clearly, there were some miscommunications over who was in charge of the Chiss Ascendency because Janisor was up to his ears in the constant orders and overriding of power that Cem was forcing on his uncle. Janisor had no doubt in his mind that his younger nephew was more of a problem than Jag Fel was at the moment, especially now that Jag Fel was in prison under the allegations that he had betrayed not only the Chiss but he had also attacked soldiers of the Galactic Alliance. Janisor couldn't care less if his nephew was executed, but he wanted to be the one to issue the order.

But the King didn't want to, not yet. There was still information and leverage he could gain from holding his nephew captive and torturing him. It was a tad unethical to treat one's family as such, but Janisor had long disowned Jagged Fel and the rest of his family.

A knock at the door turned Janisor's attention from staring at the files at his desk to the two stormtroopers that had entered the room followed by the white uniformed figure of Cem Fel. His arm had been replaced by a mechanical one and it hadn't taken Janisor long to notice after seeing Cem practicing his fighting against several opponents. The mechanical arm allowed faster and smoother movements. Janisor was sure that some master mechanic had designed the arm to be more efficient and compatible with the body than a biological one. It looked like the natural blue skin of a Chiss on the outside, but even as Cem approached the desk and picked up the blue blown glass orb that symbolized Janisor's position of power, the hand's movements were all too unnatural. Janisor's insides burned with intense hatred, but he hid it behind his mask of practiced politeness.

"How can I help you, Cem?" Janisor asked, dropping the formality in the heat of his annoyance. Cem rolled the orb around in his hand and then set it back down on the desk, clasping his hands behind his back.

"I understand you are holding my brother prisoner," Cem said in a neutral tone, though his voice held a dangerous undertone that Janisor knew could snap if he pushed Cem's limits. Despite Janisor's confidence in his position, he was sure that he could not defeat Cem in a physical fight or manage to draw a weapon fast enough to kill either of the stormtroopers. Cem knew how to pick his fights and corner his targets. Maybe Janisor had trained the Fel children in fighting _too _well.

"This is correct," Janisor stated, lacing his fingers together on his desk, "I am holding him until we can gain information from him."

Cem looked past his uncle and out the window at the streets below and then regarded his uncle mildly as though he were a mere speck on a surface that needed to be dusted off. "Information?" He repeated, mulling the words over and then he nodded, "Yes, that is a wise decision. I will expect a full report of your findings when you are finished with your interrogations, King Kel."

"Your request is denied," Janisor said curtly and returned his attention to the desk. He looked up abruptly as he saw the orb in Cem's hand again.

"I apologize, Your Highness," Cem said and Janisor flinched as he heard a crack and the orb shattered in Cem's grip, "I was not clear enough," Cem let the pieces fall to the floor and leaned in to stare into his uncle's shrinking eyes, "That was not a request." Cem then nodded and exited the room, leaving the two troopers behind to guard either side of the door as it closed behind Cem.

* * *

The clacking of boots stopped right before the broken glass scattered across the floors. The entire facility before the two figures was completely ancient and had long since been abandoned. The second figure, dressed in a black robe ran his hand over one of the cracked tubes.

"I'm surprised that it is still intact," He said, turning to the other figure, a bounty hunter in Mandalorian armor. There were hundreds of thousands of tubes around the facility and all of them, despite the minor damage, were repairable. "We shall need more troopers. We cannot exist on volunteers alone."

"The New Republic did a good job trying to destroy this facility after the Empire fell, but they did not do a thorough enough job," The bounty hunter said. The lips of the robed figure curled.  
"It should work well enough, Master."

"Yes, they left us with quite a gift," The robed figure answered, "You are most loyal, Xillanor. I would like to ask for your help in training our new apprentices."

"As you wish, Your Excellency," Xillanor bowed and the two continued to walk through the facility.

* * *

Anakin gazed in wonderment at the ghost. So this was his grandmother. He had met his grandfather's ghost once or twice, but he'd never known who his grandmother was or what she looked like. Now that he knew, he could see where his family had gotten their rich brown hair and the shape of Leia's face was so like her mother's.

"Your name, Anakin," The ghost said, "Is one to be proud of."

Anakin scowled at that, "You know what happened to my grandfather, he was married to you and he killed you!"

"That's not true," His grandmother said, "Anakin Skywalker didn't kill me. A man named Darth Vader killed me after he killed Anakin," Her eyes looked down at the ground, reflecting the grief that had been in her eyes. "I gave up living because I saw the man I loved die by the hand of his own inner demons. I believed our love was strong enough to protect him from them, but I was wrong."

Anakin listened in silence, thinking over his own mistakes and how much pain he had put Tahiri through in making them. "My name means nothing, though," Anakin said, "If I can't defeat the namesake behind it."

"Do you know what the name 'Anakin' means?" Anakin looked at her and shook his head. "It means 'One Who Loves Everything' in the language of the Sand People."

Anakin opened his mouth and then shut it, taking in what his grandmother was telling him. "Shmi, your grandfather's mother, was raised on Tatooine and learned some of the Sand Tongue. Though the Sand People were violent and cruel at times, they were just like any other kind of people, they lived, they ate, they fought for their families and they died. She told me why she had named Anakin what she had," Anakin looked at his grandmother questioningly before she continued, "She said she had named him 'Anakin' because she hoped he would overcome the barriers of hate and see everyone as equal beings. That is why I think you should be proud of your name," She slowly walked over and hugged Anakin, "It means your mother believed you had the same gift as your grandfather, you just aren't ready to see it."

Anakin shrugged, "I've killed more people and aliens than I can count and I'm supposed to be 'The One Who Loves Everything'?" He shook his head. "I'm not who you think I am."

"You are only the kind of person that you believe you can be," The ghost replied simply. "The force is life and as long as you have the force, you are able to live. The more control you have over the force, the more control you have over how you live."

Anakin looked at his grandmother, "What about your name?"

"My name, Padme," She said, "Is a name from "Naboo that means 'One Who Understands.'"

Anakin smiled, "I guess you embraced that part of you."

"As it was my choice to be who I wanted to be, I chose to embrace my name," Padme replied simply. "And you have the same choice with yours. I'm sure Tahiri has told you that many times."

Anakin blinked in surprise at the knowing look that his grandmother was giving him. Did ghosts know everything? "She tells me that all the time," Anakin replied with a warm smile at the thought of his best friend.

"She's right," Padme said with an equally warm smile. "Do what your heart tells you and be wary of what you think will happen and what actually is."

Anakin nodded, "Visions? I've had them. My Uncle," Anakin sucked in his breath as the pain from mentioning Luke passed through him, "Always told me to not always believe in the visions I have."

"He's right," Padme said with a nod, "You make your own visions, not the other way around. The only way a vision will come to pass is if you believe that they will happen," Padme placed her hands on Anakin's shoulders, "Trust in what is and love what is in front of you. The future will then take care of itself."

Anakin nodded, "I'll try." Padme ruffled her grandson's hair.

"Try not, do or do not," She said and with that she was gone. Anakin took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair, he only now noticed how damp it was in the cave and that his hair and clothes were equally as damp. He then started out of the cave and saw that Tahiri was waiting just outside for him, his belt in her hand.

"I was wondering where you went," She said, handing him his belt and he took it with a nod of thanks. "Did you find what you needed to in there?"

Anakin nodded slowly, looking back at the cave before turning to face Tahiri once more. "More or less."

"Good," Tahiri said with her carefree contagious smile as she grabbed his hand, "Then let's go eat, I'm starved, do you know how long you've been in there? I've been out here for hours…"

Anakin could only chuckle to himself as Tahiri babbled on, her bubbly voice a soothing reminder of what was alive and flourishing in the galaxy: a reminder that were was hope in their temporarily solitary life and that there was a future: it just hadn't been written yet.

* * *

**A/N- Fin. This is the end of the "Namesake Trilogy," thanks to the following users for all their help:**

My Beta: Jediluver033

The Author Whose Stories Inspired Me To Write This Series: Buffybot

JediBettyBug

William D.J. Watson

FuryanJedi13

G-AnakinRPG

Dark Fortresses

Eristarisis

Scars of Time

Wishes R Shooting Stars

Tiki is my homeboy

Newworldwriter1

To the authors of the NJO books and to Kevin J. Anderson and Rebecca Moesta for YJK, to Nancy Richardson for JJK and to Lucas for creating SW!

And to everyone who has read anonymously, thank you one and all!

* * *

**Now for the poll results: **

In third place with 16% of the total vote: JAMES OLDRESK! (Congrats, James).

In second place with 33% of the total vote: Valin J.D. Solo! (Mazel Tov, Valin!)

And in first place with 50% of the total vote: KIRK DEKIM! Wooo! I'm so proud! He was the first OC I tweaked from his original character design to be entered into Namesake (shortly followed by James) and now he's a top rated OC! I'm so proud… *Sniffs and wipes tear*

For all you Kirk Dekim fans, I am going to start a new series called "Pathways" at some point that is the story of Kirk Dekim pre-Namesake. =) I hope you all will read it once it starts. I have other stories to finish, so that might be a while.

Again, thank you to everyone for supporting this story! =) See at my next series "Heritage" beginning with the story "Fallen Knight."


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